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1
00:00:01,222 --> 00:00:04,632
-I don't know what I'd do without
you and Emily. - Oh... Sh...
2
00:00:04,682 --> 00:00:07,072
It's fully-functional,
it's all plumbed in, electrics.
3
00:00:07,122 --> 00:00:09,192
- Take me home, Keith!
- Actually, this is our 'ome.
4
00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,512
You know I love you both very much!
5
00:00:11,562 --> 00:00:13,432
It's only your father I can't stand.
6
00:00:13,482 --> 00:00:16,112
- This marriage is officially over!
- (Oh!)
7
00:00:16,162 --> 00:00:18,952
Let's go for it,
let's move in together!
8
00:00:19,002 --> 00:00:23,032
From now on, Laura... we're
going to be so happy!
9
00:00:23,082 --> 00:00:24,562
Oh...
10
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,472
So are you going to
move in with Jamie then?
11
00:00:37,522 --> 00:00:41,232
No, course not.
I'm moving in with my dad, aren't I?
12
00:00:41,282 --> 00:00:43,952
But does Jamie think you're
moving in with him?
13
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,512
No!
14
00:00:45,562 --> 00:00:48,672
Well, yeah.
But I'll set him straight!
15
00:00:48,722 --> 00:00:50,712
Well, why don't you
move in with him?
16
00:00:50,762 --> 00:00:53,312
He's a great guy for
someone like you, you know -
17
00:00:53,362 --> 00:00:54,882
unwanted, single mother.
18
00:00:56,042 --> 00:00:58,632
And you obviously
go for that boy next door,
19
00:00:58,682 --> 00:01:02,032
least attractive
member of the boyband look.
20
00:01:02,082 --> 00:01:05,232
What?! I said he
could be in a boyband.
21
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:06,832
Not the lead singer,
22
00:01:06,882 --> 00:01:09,032
but, you know, the fat one
who writes all the songs.
23
00:01:09,082 --> 00:01:11,552
Danielle! You're not helping!
24
00:01:11,602 --> 00:01:12,922
Fine!
25
00:01:21,242 --> 00:01:23,272
Oh, my God!
26
00:01:23,322 --> 00:01:26,632
It's like a VIP room from 1991!
27
00:01:26,682 --> 00:01:27,992
Look at that sofa!
28
00:01:28,042 --> 00:01:30,672
Yeah, it's slink.
29
00:01:30,722 --> 00:01:33,472
Made from the skin of
unborn calves.
30
00:01:33,522 --> 00:01:37,352
Oooh! Don't touch it!
Haven't sealed it yet!
31
00:01:37,402 --> 00:01:38,872
So we can't sit on it?
32
00:01:38,922 --> 00:01:43,192
Yes, but, you know,
just be careful - it's very delicate.
33
00:01:43,242 --> 00:01:46,032
So practical when
you have a young child.
34
00:01:46,082 --> 00:01:50,512
Oh, erm, probably best to keep
her off the chaise, as well.
35
00:01:50,562 --> 00:01:52,672
Ooh, retro.
36
00:01:52,722 --> 00:01:56,992
Isn't it? Look, by the way,
leather wall panels.
37
00:01:57,042 --> 00:01:58,992
Oooh. Ooh.
38
00:01:59,042 --> 00:02:01,552
And...
39
00:02:01,602 --> 00:02:04,752
Oh! It's a lamp!
40
00:02:04,802 --> 00:02:07,992
Oh, that looks dangerous.
Only if you're a moth.
41
00:02:08,042 --> 00:02:12,032
So, where exactly are
we supposed to sit?
42
00:02:12,082 --> 00:02:15,712
Erm, well, you can sit on anything
that's been designed after 1970.
43
00:02:15,762 --> 00:02:20,112
DOOR BUZZES
Oh, now that should be my Mies van der Rohe footstool.
44
00:02:20,162 --> 00:02:21,722
Oh, quick(!)
45
00:02:23,522 --> 00:02:26,192
Oh, I'm not sure this place
is right for Emily.
46
00:02:26,242 --> 00:02:28,912
Yeah, being exposed to this
much leather at her age,
47
00:02:28,962 --> 00:02:31,522
she's definitely going to
end up being a stripper.
48
00:02:32,562 --> 00:02:35,472
Emily! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
49
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:38,032
Oh! It's OK, it's all right.
50
00:02:38,082 --> 00:02:41,232
It's OK, it's all right.
51
00:02:41,282 --> 00:02:42,642
Oh!
52
00:02:47,722 --> 00:02:49,042
Jamie.
53
00:02:50,922 --> 00:02:52,272
How was the interview?
54
00:02:52,322 --> 00:02:54,792
Turns out there's not much call
for a college dropout with
55
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:57,912
no experience and no qualifications.
What about you?
56
00:02:57,962 --> 00:03:01,312
Oh, they offered me the head of ICI,
but I told 'em to stuff it.
57
00:03:01,362 --> 00:03:03,552
No joy, mate?
No.
58
00:03:03,602 --> 00:03:06,712
It's a crying shame -
fit young lad like you.
59
00:03:06,762 --> 00:03:10,112
Actually, I'm doing a job
you could help me with.
60
00:03:10,162 --> 00:03:14,312
You've got a job? Course.
Bit of decorating. You interested?
61
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:16,672
Absolutely! Yeah!
Shall I tell them in there?
62
00:03:16,722 --> 00:03:18,112
Oh, no. No, no, no.
63
00:03:18,162 --> 00:03:21,712
Oh, no. Kids, eh?
64
00:03:21,762 --> 00:03:24,552
Jamie, was it? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm Keith.
65
00:03:24,602 --> 00:03:26,642
Sorry, mate, job's gone.
66
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,032
So do I need to bring anything?
67
00:03:31,082 --> 00:03:32,562
Just that lovely smile.
68
00:03:35,162 --> 00:03:36,872
I start tomorrow.
69
00:03:36,922 --> 00:03:39,632
Proper money, too, so I'll be able
to pay my share of the rent.
70
00:03:39,682 --> 00:03:40,872
'That's great, Jamie.'
71
00:03:40,922 --> 00:03:43,912
It's just I sort of really need to
be here, for my dad, at the moment.
72
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,552
He's... he's having trouble...
73
00:03:45,602 --> 00:03:47,872
adjusting. It's a
really difficult time for him.
74
00:03:47,922 --> 00:03:51,672
ALAN WHISTLES HAPPILY
'Oh, of course.'
75
00:03:51,722 --> 00:03:54,392
So, a couple of weeks then?
76
00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,352
Yeah, we'll see.
77
00:03:56,402 --> 00:04:00,072
I should go.
He's looking really down.
78
00:04:00,122 --> 00:04:02,842
'OK, so maybe if we...'
Yeah, OK, bye.
79
00:04:08,362 --> 00:04:11,752
Keith, all we needed was a
pint of milk, what's all this?
80
00:04:11,802 --> 00:04:14,192
There's some good stuff
in them bargain bins.
81
00:04:14,242 --> 00:04:18,232
God, where is your dignity?
Digging around in bins for...
82
00:04:18,282 --> 00:04:21,272
- beetroot!
- 29p!
83
00:04:21,322 --> 00:04:23,352
None of us like beetroot!
84
00:04:23,402 --> 00:04:25,552
None of us like beetroot yet.
85
00:04:25,602 --> 00:04:30,192
But have we, as a family,
really given beetroot a chance?
86
00:04:30,242 --> 00:04:32,352
You nice and comfy there, Keith?
87
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,432
Erm, yeah, thanks.
88
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,752
Sitting in a caravan
on a broken chair,
89
00:04:36,802 --> 00:04:40,552
eating reduced price
prunes out of a tin!
90
00:04:40,602 --> 00:04:42,752
Surrounded by all this clutter!
91
00:04:42,802 --> 00:04:46,752
Oh, all right then,
I'll get rid of it! I'll dump it.
92
00:04:46,802 --> 00:04:49,152
You can't just dump it! Like a...
93
00:04:49,202 --> 00:04:51,112
tinker!
94
00:04:51,162 --> 00:04:52,202
I'm not a tinker.
95
00:04:56,322 --> 00:04:58,912
Tinker, tailor, soldier,
96
00:04:58,962 --> 00:05:02,072
sailor, rich man!
97
00:05:02,122 --> 00:05:03,872
Poor man!
98
00:05:07,444 --> 00:05:10,074
MUSIC: You Sexy Thing
by Hot Chocolate
99
00:05:10,124 --> 00:05:12,274
Dad! Emily is asleep!
100
00:05:12,324 --> 00:05:15,154
Could you at least use headphones?
101
00:05:15,204 --> 00:05:17,764
It seems a shame to
waste the surround sound.
102
00:05:21,244 --> 00:05:23,354
Oh, by the way,
103
00:05:23,404 --> 00:05:24,754
I found a slight mark,
104
00:05:24,804 --> 00:05:27,874
a stain, on the leather wall panel.
105
00:05:27,924 --> 00:05:31,594
I'm pretty sure it is was a
handprint about that size.
106
00:05:31,644 --> 00:05:33,434
It's just that the oils in human skin
107
00:05:33,484 --> 00:05:37,074
can have a corrosive effect
on young leather.
108
00:05:37,124 --> 00:05:42,394
Right, well, I'll just wrap her
up in dusters then, shall I?
109
00:05:42,444 --> 00:05:44,034
Are you wearing aftershave?
110
00:05:44,084 --> 00:05:46,684
Homme de Mystere, Calvin Klein.
111
00:05:48,284 --> 00:05:50,754
Are you going on a date?
112
00:05:50,804 --> 00:05:53,394
Hmm. But you're married!
113
00:05:53,444 --> 00:05:54,764
Only to your mother!
114
00:05:56,364 --> 00:05:59,234
What time are you going to be back?
115
00:05:59,284 --> 00:06:01,234
Don't know if I will be.
116
00:06:01,284 --> 00:06:06,154
I... I'm sorry, Dad, but I think we
need to have some ground rules here.
117
00:06:06,204 --> 00:06:09,364
Why? Because I need to
know what you're doing.
118
00:06:10,644 --> 00:06:12,834
Why?
119
00:06:12,884 --> 00:06:16,954
Erm, well, what if I
had... cooked dinner?
120
00:06:17,004 --> 00:06:18,644
Have you cooked dinner? No, but I...
121
00:06:20,244 --> 00:06:22,354
Oh, it's just a bit of a shock.
122
00:06:22,404 --> 00:06:24,874
Look, it's no big deal,
I'm just, you know,
123
00:06:24,924 --> 00:06:26,674
going on an innocent night out,
124
00:06:26,724 --> 00:06:28,914
with an intelligent,
interesting woman,
125
00:06:28,964 --> 00:06:31,154
who happens not to
be your mother.
126
00:06:31,204 --> 00:06:33,154
KNOCKING ON DOOR
127
00:06:33,204 --> 00:06:35,524
I think I deserve that, don't I?
128
00:06:37,004 --> 00:06:38,564
Suppose.
129
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:42,994
Hey, Tiger!
130
00:06:43,044 --> 00:06:44,794
SHE KISSES HIM
131
00:06:44,844 --> 00:06:47,364
You ready? Erm, almost, almost, yes.
132
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:54,194
Oh, erm, this is Penny.
133
00:06:54,244 --> 00:06:56,244
Oh, hello.
134
00:07:06,444 --> 00:07:09,844
- All right, Tiger.
- Oh, sweet pea. - Bye.
135
00:07:51,844 --> 00:07:54,284
SHE GASPS
136
00:07:55,924 --> 00:07:56,964
Ohhh!
137
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,434
Dad! What do you
think you're doing?
138
00:08:02,484 --> 00:08:05,674
I cannot believe you
brought her back here and...
139
00:08:05,724 --> 00:08:08,514
You've got to be careful,
you know?!
140
00:08:08,564 --> 00:08:13,754
You can't just drag home the
first drunken bimbo that you meet!
141
00:08:13,804 --> 00:08:15,274
Got croissants!
142
00:08:15,324 --> 00:08:17,314
SHE INHALES AUDIBLY
143
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:20,234
And a very good
morning to you, Laura.
144
00:08:20,284 --> 00:08:22,234
Hope I wasn't too
long in the shower,
145
00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:25,354
the controls were a bit
taxing for my bimbo brain.
146
00:08:25,404 --> 00:08:30,204
Who's for a pain au chocolat?
Sorry, Alan, I need to go! Oh.
147
00:08:31,484 --> 00:08:33,714
What have you said?
148
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:38,204
Look, I don't need your approval
to have a bit of harmless fun...
149
00:08:40,204 --> 00:08:44,194
..within a committed,
long-term relationship, obviously.
150
00:08:44,244 --> 00:08:45,914
I do have to get to the office.
151
00:08:45,964 --> 00:08:48,794
Hmm, conference call with Tokyo.
You know how it is.
152
00:08:48,844 --> 00:08:53,674
Oh, right.
Well, don't look so sad, Tiger.
153
00:08:53,724 --> 00:08:55,604
I'll see you tonight. Hmm.
154
00:08:56,644 --> 00:08:59,284
So nice to see you again.
155
00:09:05,124 --> 00:09:07,154
Thanks for giving me
this opportunity.
156
00:09:07,204 --> 00:09:08,754
What exactly will I be doing?
157
00:09:08,804 --> 00:09:11,114
Oh, a bit of this, bit of that,
158
00:09:11,164 --> 00:09:12,794
bit of the other.
159
00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:16,234
The important thing is
not to treat it as work.
160
00:09:16,284 --> 00:09:19,034
In my experience,
the happier you are,
161
00:09:19,084 --> 00:09:20,914
the happier the customer is.
162
00:09:20,964 --> 00:09:23,594
Handsome chap like you,
163
00:09:23,644 --> 00:09:25,444
they'll be putty in your hands.
164
00:09:26,764 --> 00:09:28,714
Come on.
165
00:09:28,764 --> 00:09:30,924
Great.
166
00:09:37,084 --> 00:09:39,554
Working up a bit of
a sweat there, son?
167
00:09:39,604 --> 00:09:44,714
Yeah, and, sorry, but I think I got
some of the white on the red.
168
00:09:44,764 --> 00:09:46,684
Oh, don't worry about that.
169
00:09:49,484 --> 00:09:53,074
Erm, Mrs Winterburn's more concerned
that you might be getting a bit hot?
170
00:09:53,124 --> 00:09:56,004
Oh, no, I'm fine.
Thank you, Mrs Winterburn.
171
00:09:57,844 --> 00:10:01,034
Uh-huh. Erm, she says if you
want to take your shirt off,
172
00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:03,474
it's absolutely fine.
Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
173
00:10:03,524 --> 00:10:06,194
Jamie, mate...
174
00:10:06,244 --> 00:10:08,794
I'm sure you'll be a lot more
comfortable if you just,
175
00:10:08,844 --> 00:10:11,004
you know, slip your top off.
176
00:10:16,764 --> 00:10:18,084
All right, then.
177
00:10:26,844 --> 00:10:29,034
That better?
178
00:10:29,084 --> 00:10:30,994
Frees you up a bit, don't it?
179
00:10:31,044 --> 00:10:32,484
Yeah, it does, actually!
180
00:10:36,564 --> 00:10:37,954
You've got five seconds!
181
00:10:38,004 --> 00:10:41,114
Three, two, one, yes!
182
00:10:41,164 --> 00:10:44,874
Sold to Suzy K,
one oak-effect wheel back chair!
183
00:10:44,924 --> 00:10:46,674
San! You missed it!
184
00:10:46,724 --> 00:10:50,274
Oh! I've just sold the last
bit of our furniture!
185
00:10:50,324 --> 00:10:51,554
Ah, that's great, Keith!
186
00:10:51,604 --> 00:10:55,314
And we have made over 200 quid!
Oh!
187
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:57,914
Oh, I've got a real knack for this!
188
00:10:57,964 --> 00:11:00,154
Oh, well, I'll just be glad
of the space!
189
00:11:00,204 --> 00:11:01,994
Oh, shit!
190
00:11:02,044 --> 00:11:04,554
Not our problem, Sandra.
191
00:11:04,604 --> 00:11:07,674
Caveat emptor! It's Latin.
192
00:11:07,724 --> 00:11:09,554
It means, "Buyer, beware!"
193
00:11:09,604 --> 00:11:12,234
Especially if you're buying off
some bloke off the Internet.
194
00:11:12,284 --> 00:11:14,964
It's her chair now.
It's her problem.
195
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,560
It's hot work, innit?
196
00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,590
Do you know what? I could
customise those jeans for you,
197
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,590
cut 'em off at the knee.
198
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,390
Well, I don't think
that's necessary...
199
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:38,310
Be much cooler -
let the skin breathe.
200
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:42,510
Well, I guess these have
pretty much had it, anyway.
201
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:45,190
That's my boy!
202
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,910
What the f...?
203
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,790
I'll be with you in
a minute, San,
204
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,790
just taking me latest
venture to market.
205
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:55,390
Ow! What is this?
206
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,630
The corner shop were
throwing it out!
207
00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,150
Are you selling ice cream?
208
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,230
No, no, no, no.
Strictly high-end goods.
209
00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,750
Maximum profits!
210
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,800
Homarus gammarus.
211
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,310
Lobster!
Where did you get that lobster?
212
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,550
Erm, the old freezer warehouse.
213
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,350
Do you remember Brian?
What, Dodgy Brian?
214
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:20,710
Yeah, Dodgy Brian.
215
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,550
He's setting us
up with a cheap supply,
216
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,350
and I'm going to sell them on eBay!
217
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,270
Where you getting
the money for this?
218
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,270
Well, I've reinvested
our liquid assets.
219
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,830
The furniture money?
220
00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,150
Yeah, and some extra
start-up capital venture
221
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,510
which I've managed to secure.
222
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,510
From who?
223
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:42,030
Just like a, sort of,
conglomerate of investors.
224
00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:44,150
They're... they're fully on-board!
225
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,030
You know,
professional... money people.
226
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,950
You got a payday loan.
227
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,150
Yeah, well, they saw
the potential in the idea!
228
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,790
I bet they did!
So when's your next payday?
229
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,760
Not long, San. Not long.
230
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,960
Oh, lovely, Mrs W! Tea up, Jamie!
231
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,630
Not sure about these, Dave.
232
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,560
It's practical, though, innit?
233
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,950
Right.
234
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,760
Back to the grind!
235
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,550
MUSIC: Love Is The Drug
by Roxy Music
236
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,280
Ah, perfect!
237
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,750
Surprise!
238
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:43,390
I got you this!
239
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:44,920
Oh, sweet pea!
240
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:50,960
You shouldn't have! I thought
you could wear it on Friday.
241
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,710
Lunch? With my parents.
242
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,390
Oh, erm, may be a bit tricky!
243
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,630
I know they'd both love to meet you.
244
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,670
As I would them, absolutely.
245
00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,710
But, erm, hmm, I probably
should see more of Laura.
246
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,390
But you see her every day!
247
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:13,710
I do, yes, but... she's having real
difficulty adjusting, you know?
248
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,640
Dad! She's asleep!
249
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:22,400
Thank you!
250
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,350
Oh, sorry! You don't mind
me borrowing these, do you?
251
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:28,390
Alan said you wouldn't.
252
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,990
Only... we had a bit of an accident.
253
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,400
Didn't we, Mr Tickle?
254
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,550
I had to queue-jump
on the washing machine.
255
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:41,950
I've left Emily's
stuff on the floor.
256
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,030
So, looks like we're
having another sleepover.
257
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,870
If we must!
258
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,750
MUSIC: Golden Years
by David Bowie
259
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,510
"Bop-bop-bop!"
260
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,640
See you soon, Mrs W!
261
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,960
And thanks for the cake!
Here you go, son.
262
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,830
You've earned that.
263
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,030
She gave me a tip, too!
264
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:10,360
Ahh! You stick with your Uncle Dave
and he'll take care of you.
265
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:16,400
KEYPAD BEEPS
266
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,790
This little piggy went to market.
Alan, stop it!
267
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,230
Ooh, didn't Little Piggy
like Mr Tickle?
268
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,030
PHONE RINGS
269
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,150
Oh! Hi.
270
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,150
'Hi, Laura. I've just done
my first day.' Oh, right.
271
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,630
'You know, I reckon
we can even get a furnished place,
272
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,550
'with a big TV and everything.'
273
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,430
Yeah, that's the priority(!) Look,
Jamie, we don't want to rush it.
274
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,710
We don't want to end up
with a place that we hate.
275
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:42,390
'Couldn't be worse than the caravan.
It's all right for you.
276
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,830
'You're living in a nice flat
with your dad.'
277
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:45,790
Ah!
278
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,030
FEMALE SQUEALS
279
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,550
And this little piggy...! Yeah.
280
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,270
Whoa!
281
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,630
BOTH LAUGH
282
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,550
I suppose it wouldn't do any harm
to just check out what's available.
283
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,720
'All right, I'll call you tomorrow.'
OK. Bye.
284
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,390
I need the keys for number 15
for tomorrow.
285
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,950
RECEPTIONIST: OK, Dave.
I've just got to finish an e-mail
286
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,550
and then I'll get them
from the cupboard.
287
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:14,920
Nice shorts.
288
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,120
Oh.
289
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,870
It's, er... it's company uniform.
290
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,400
Oh! Thank God he's not wearing it.
Yeah!
291
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,230
So, what do you do for Dave?
292
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,950
Oh, you know. Bit of this,
bit of that, bit of the other.
293
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,070
Oh, man of mystery!
294
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,830
Come on, Jamie.
295
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,680
Leave the poor girl
alone. Get back in the van.
296
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,310
I might pop back in.
I'm looking for a flat.
297
00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:48,750
Oh, OK. Er, take a card. Jamie.
298
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,720
Thanks. Isabel.
299
00:16:57,451 --> 00:17:00,641
Ah, Laura.
Care to join us in a glass of fizz?
300
00:17:00,691 --> 00:17:04,721
No, thank you.
Where are you off to tonight, then?
301
00:17:04,771 --> 00:17:09,121
Ah, right, we're taking over
the DVD player tonight, I'm afraid.
302
00:17:09,171 --> 00:17:11,441
You're staying in?
303
00:17:11,491 --> 00:17:14,121
Apocalypse Now. Redux.
304
00:17:14,171 --> 00:17:17,841
The movie as Coppola
intended it to be seen.
305
00:17:17,891 --> 00:17:20,641
Hence tonight's take away -
Vietnamese.
306
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,761
From Saigon Express,
if you want to join us?
307
00:17:22,811 --> 00:17:25,921
No, I'll sort myself out. OK.
308
00:17:25,971 --> 00:17:27,921
Shall I order for us both?
309
00:17:27,971 --> 00:17:30,211
I'm in your hands.
310
00:17:31,971 --> 00:17:34,731
HE ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK IN DIALECT
311
00:17:35,851 --> 00:17:37,881
Er, no, OK.
312
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:43,011
Good evening. Er, yep, er,
I'd like to order some food, please.
313
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:47,241
We'll have some nem cuon
to start with, please.
314
00:17:47,291 --> 00:17:51,161
Does that still come
wrapped in banh trang?
315
00:17:51,211 --> 00:17:53,881
Yes, we'll have five of those,
please.
316
00:17:53,931 --> 00:17:55,241
We could always babysit,
317
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:59,441
if you want to, you know,
clear off for the evening.
318
00:17:59,491 --> 00:18:04,761
No. No. I can, um,
make my own entertainment.
319
00:18:04,811 --> 00:18:06,281
OK.
320
00:18:06,331 --> 00:18:10,761
It's just... you seem to be finding
this a bit hard to deal with.
321
00:18:10,811 --> 00:18:13,401
No, no, it's just...
322
00:18:13,451 --> 00:18:16,961
I... I just thought
it would be weird for you.
323
00:18:17,011 --> 00:18:19,201
What do you mean, weird?
324
00:18:19,251 --> 00:18:23,161
It's just that I can't really
imagine being, you know,
325
00:18:23,211 --> 00:18:26,001
with an older man - much older.
326
00:18:26,051 --> 00:18:30,841
I just see a fascinating,
intelligent, sexy guy.
327
00:18:30,891 --> 00:18:32,601
Who's old enough to be your father.
328
00:18:32,651 --> 00:18:35,161
Oh, please,
I know you prefer younger men.
329
00:18:35,211 --> 00:18:41,281
Well! At least I haven't got
some kind of weird daddy complex.
330
00:18:41,331 --> 00:18:43,241
Daddy...?
331
00:18:43,291 --> 00:18:46,361
I'm sorry,
you've got a baby and a boyfriend
332
00:18:46,411 --> 00:18:48,841
but you're still living
with your father.
333
00:18:48,891 --> 00:18:50,841
Maybe you're the one
with the daddy complex.
334
00:18:50,891 --> 00:18:52,681
Lovely.
335
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:54,561
HE ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK IN DIALECT
336
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:56,961
Er, nothing. See you soon.
337
00:18:57,011 --> 00:19:02,041
Right, they say 15 minutes,
but it'll probably be nearer 30.
338
00:19:02,091 --> 00:19:05,121
Well, perhaps I should go home.
What?!
339
00:19:05,171 --> 00:19:08,801
Well, your daughter seems to think
we shouldn't be dating. Laura?
340
00:19:08,851 --> 00:19:12,201
Apparently
you're old enough to be my father.
341
00:19:12,251 --> 00:19:15,681
Ha! Well, I'm... sure I'm not.
342
00:19:15,731 --> 00:19:17,761
Have you met him? No.
343
00:19:17,811 --> 00:19:20,721
But I'm going to very soon,
344
00:19:20,771 --> 00:19:24,361
because we're meeting up for lunch
on Friday.
345
00:19:24,411 --> 00:19:28,211
What? You can make it?
Absolutely. Why not? Oh!
346
00:19:31,531 --> 00:19:34,721
He'll be so excited, poppet.
So, we, um...
347
00:19:34,771 --> 00:19:36,121
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
348
00:19:36,171 --> 00:19:37,801
..still on for tonight?
349
00:19:37,851 --> 00:19:42,531
Of course, tiger!
If that's what you want.
350
00:19:46,691 --> 00:19:48,891
ELECTRICAL THRUMMING
351
00:19:51,651 --> 00:19:55,891
Sandra? Oh... I can't sleep
with that bloody noise on.
352
00:20:04,051 --> 00:20:05,451
THRUMMING STOPS
353
00:20:07,851 --> 00:20:11,091
What are you doing?
It'll be all right for a few hours.
354
00:20:22,411 --> 00:20:24,161
Huh?!
355
00:20:24,211 --> 00:20:25,761
What?
356
00:20:25,811 --> 00:20:27,371
THRUMMING RESUMES
357
00:20:34,371 --> 00:20:35,891
HE SIGHS
358
00:20:53,611 --> 00:20:55,011
THRUMMING STOPS
359
00:20:59,371 --> 00:21:03,281
What are you doing, woman?
That needs to stay on!
360
00:21:03,331 --> 00:21:05,201
Dad!
361
00:21:05,251 --> 00:21:08,081
You're damaging the stock!
I don't care.
362
00:21:08,131 --> 00:21:11,401
Will you just leave it alone?
I need to sleep!
363
00:21:11,451 --> 00:21:15,761
Mum! Dad! Please! I've got to work
tomorrow. Keep it down.
364
00:21:15,811 --> 00:21:17,641
ELECTRICAL POPPING
365
00:21:17,691 --> 00:21:23,081
Oh, nice one, Sandra(!) You just
knackered me primary capital asset.
366
00:21:23,131 --> 00:21:27,441
Oh, go back to sleep, Keith,
will you? I need a leak now.
367
00:21:27,491 --> 00:21:31,251
Heads down, son,
I'm coming straight over. Huh? Eurgh!
368
00:21:39,651 --> 00:21:41,161
TINKLING
369
00:21:41,211 --> 00:21:42,441
Ohh!
370
00:21:42,491 --> 00:21:43,531
JAMIE SIGHS
371
00:21:53,691 --> 00:21:55,531
SEXUAL GROANING
372
00:21:58,731 --> 00:22:00,721
Oh, Little Piggy!
373
00:22:00,771 --> 00:22:03,481
Come on, Mr Wolf! Oh, Little Piggy!
374
00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:07,441
I'll huff and... Keep going!
..I'll puff, and...
375
00:22:07,491 --> 00:22:10,091
BOTH MOAN
376
00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:15,241
SHE SNIFFS
377
00:22:15,291 --> 00:22:17,451
Oh, good God...!
378
00:22:21,291 --> 00:22:23,921
Keith, it smells like
there's a beached whale in here.
379
00:22:23,971 --> 00:22:25,961
Oh, just... Patience, love.
380
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:28,451
Takes a bit of time
to build a young business.
381
00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:34,841
Keith, the whole caravan
stinks of decomposing lobster.
382
00:22:34,891 --> 00:22:36,561
Oh, it is early days, Sandra.
383
00:22:36,611 --> 00:22:38,921
I'm just having to calibrate
my pricing structure
384
00:22:38,971 --> 00:22:42,281
against the existing marketplace
to maximise the bottom line.
385
00:22:42,331 --> 00:22:43,771
No, here's the bottom line.
386
00:22:45,051 --> 00:22:48,081
There's been a boardroom coup. What?
387
00:22:48,131 --> 00:22:49,521
I'm taking over
388
00:22:49,571 --> 00:22:53,201
and I'm introducing a major revamp
to marketing strategy.
389
00:22:53,251 --> 00:22:56,721
What kind of revamp?
390
00:22:56,771 --> 00:22:58,771
Go on. Go on.
391
00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:06,441
Morning, madam. For one day only,
392
00:23:06,491 --> 00:23:09,081
I've got a wonderful
consumer opportunity for you.
393
00:23:09,131 --> 00:23:11,881
Direct from the sea - fresh lobster.
394
00:23:11,931 --> 00:23:14,281
Well, freshly defrosted.
395
00:23:14,331 --> 00:23:17,641
Mm, smell the ocean! Nice and ripe.
396
00:23:17,691 --> 00:23:21,081
Morning, madam! For one day only,
I've a wonderful...
397
00:23:21,131 --> 00:23:22,291
MAN: Sod off!
398
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,566
MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
399
00:23:39,766 --> 00:23:42,716
Dave, I'm not really comfortable
in these.
400
00:23:42,766 --> 00:23:45,876
Oh, take 'em off.
I'm sure Miss Dixon won't mind.
401
00:23:45,926 --> 00:23:48,926
No, I mean,
they're a bit revealing.
402
00:23:52,606 --> 00:23:55,396
Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.
403
00:23:55,446 --> 00:23:57,996
You've got to learn
to play to your strengths.
404
00:23:58,046 --> 00:24:01,356
And, let's face it, those strengths
do not include decorating.
405
00:24:01,406 --> 00:24:04,196
What? Why do you think
the money's rolling in?
406
00:24:04,246 --> 00:24:07,476
There ain't no shame
in playing the game.
407
00:24:07,526 --> 00:24:09,796
Don't look at me like that, son.
408
00:24:09,846 --> 00:24:12,116
There's nothing wrong
with providing the customer
409
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:14,276
with a little bit of eye candy.
410
00:24:14,326 --> 00:24:16,756
Especially if it keeps the work
rolling in.
411
00:24:16,806 --> 00:24:18,596
So, next time Miss Dixon
pops her head in
412
00:24:18,646 --> 00:24:21,556
and asks if you'd like
a nice cup of tea...
413
00:24:21,606 --> 00:24:22,926
shake your booty.
414
00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:35,966
Now, watch this. Go.
415
00:24:42,846 --> 00:24:46,196
Good afternoon, madam. How are you
today? Would you be interested...?
416
00:24:46,246 --> 00:24:47,756
No, thanks. I have lobster!
417
00:24:47,806 --> 00:24:50,236
I don't care if you've got lobsters
or lucky heather.
418
00:24:50,286 --> 00:24:52,396
We don't want your sort on this site.
419
00:24:52,446 --> 00:24:55,166
Lucky heather?! I'm not a...
420
00:24:57,766 --> 00:24:58,806
Brilliant, San.
421
00:25:00,446 --> 00:25:01,926
Oh!
422
00:25:03,326 --> 00:25:06,156
That your dad's XF? Mm-hm.
423
00:25:06,206 --> 00:25:10,596
Hm, see he went for the lunar grey
too. Good choice.
424
00:25:10,646 --> 00:25:12,636
Here we are.
425
00:25:12,686 --> 00:25:16,606
- Now, don't be nervous.
- Don't be silly, sweet pea.
426
00:25:19,606 --> 00:25:22,166
- Hello, sweet pea.
- Hi, Dad.
427
00:25:24,246 --> 00:25:26,876
- Hello.
- Hello. - BOTH: We meet at last.
428
00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:30,396
- I've heard so much about you.
- I've heard so much about you.
429
00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:33,326
- I'm Adam.
- I'm... Alan.
430
00:25:39,326 --> 00:25:41,716
This is just a quickie
while we're in the area.
431
00:25:41,766 --> 00:25:42,916
In and out in an hour.
432
00:25:42,966 --> 00:25:44,116
DOORBELL RINGS
433
00:25:44,166 --> 00:25:46,356
These shorts are really chafing.
434
00:25:46,406 --> 00:25:50,516
Yeah. Put a bit of cream on
when you get home.
435
00:25:50,566 --> 00:25:53,276
Maybe shave.
436
00:25:53,326 --> 00:25:54,836
DOOR OPENS
437
00:25:54,886 --> 00:25:56,396
Ah!
438
00:25:56,446 --> 00:25:58,446
MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO
439
00:25:59,886 --> 00:26:02,806
You like that, don't you?
440
00:26:12,006 --> 00:26:14,556
Well, I'm sure we've got
some Earl Grey somewhere.
441
00:26:14,606 --> 00:26:15,566
SHE SIGHS
442
00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:17,356
I really don't mind, Alan.
443
00:26:17,406 --> 00:26:21,196
Why don't you just go
and relax, sweet... Penny.
444
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:22,766
Fine. I will.
445
00:26:26,566 --> 00:26:28,436
Look...
446
00:26:28,486 --> 00:26:31,676
I'm sorry if I was...
a little quiet at the lunch.
447
00:26:31,726 --> 00:26:35,316
I wasn't really expecting your dad
to be quite so...
448
00:26:35,366 --> 00:26:36,996
I mean, obviously I realised
449
00:26:37,046 --> 00:26:40,326
there'd be certain
demographic similarities, but...
450
00:26:42,006 --> 00:26:43,956
Oh, Penny.
451
00:26:44,006 --> 00:26:47,436
I'm sorry, Little Piggy.
452
00:26:47,486 --> 00:26:50,236
Mr Wolf will make it up to you!
453
00:26:50,286 --> 00:26:52,156
SHE SCREAMS
454
00:26:52,206 --> 00:26:54,286
Oh, my...! What are you doing?
455
00:26:57,886 --> 00:26:59,726
See ya! Oh!
456
00:27:02,686 --> 00:27:05,276
Dave! This job!
457
00:27:05,326 --> 00:27:07,276
We need to talk. Sure, son. Shoot.
458
00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:08,636
PHONE RINGS
459
00:27:08,686 --> 00:27:09,966
Just a sec.
460
00:27:12,406 --> 00:27:15,356
Laura, hi. 'You're right.
We SHOULD get a flat.'
461
00:27:15,406 --> 00:27:17,836
Yeah? 'Yeah, let's do it. Tomorrow.'
462
00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:20,956
OK, great! 'OK, bye.' Bye.
463
00:27:21,006 --> 00:27:23,596
Here you go.
464
00:27:23,646 --> 00:27:25,206
Another good day.
465
00:27:28,446 --> 00:27:31,006
Now, what was it you wanted to say
about the job?
466
00:27:32,686 --> 00:27:33,966
Um...
467
00:27:35,966 --> 00:27:37,556
Same time tomorrow?
468
00:27:37,606 --> 00:27:38,646
HE CHUCKLES
469
00:27:45,286 --> 00:27:49,196
OK, this'll do. Just dump it here.
Nah, there's a better spot.
470
00:27:49,246 --> 00:27:53,366
Oh, come on, Keith, before
somebody sees us. Oh, all right.
471
00:27:56,166 --> 00:27:58,036
OK, go.
472
00:27:58,086 --> 00:27:59,876
Great!
473
00:27:59,926 --> 00:28:02,316
No, just leave the trolley.
Let's just get out of here.
474
00:28:02,366 --> 00:28:04,916
No way.
That's got a pound deposit on it.
475
00:28:04,966 --> 00:28:07,726
Evening, love. Oh, God help us!
476
00:28:17,726 --> 00:28:21,876
- I've got a job.
- Oh, my God, that's fantastic!
477
00:28:21,926 --> 00:28:23,716
I'm assistant site manager.
478
00:28:23,766 --> 00:28:25,356
We're going to be a proper family.
479
00:28:25,406 --> 00:28:27,476
We're going to be just like
my mum and dad.
480
00:28:27,526 --> 00:28:29,806
Well, not exactly
like your mum and dad.
481
00:28:33,206 --> 00:28:34,876
I'm very confused right now.
482
00:28:34,926 --> 00:28:38,086
- I'm extremely scared
and I'm partially aroused. - Ohh...
483
00:28:38,136 --> 00:28:42,686
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