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1
00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:04,420
The girl from last night? We did it!
2
00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:05,875
You are pregnant.
3
00:00:06,033 --> 00:00:08,232
He was 16. Little bastard!
4
00:00:08,510 --> 00:00:11,950
You said you wanted to be involved.
So, you're involved.
5
00:00:11,950 --> 00:00:14,430
Why don't you come
and stay at ours this evening?
6
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:15,830
You'll be OK in here?
7
00:00:15,830 --> 00:00:17,190
Fine.
8
00:00:18,230 --> 00:00:19,630
Go on a date.
9
00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:22,270
Allow yourselves to be romantic.
10
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,150
I think it may have saved
our marriage.
11
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:27,950
Laura, did you bin my...?
12
00:00:27,951 --> 00:00:30,790
Oh, God! Dad!
13
00:00:30,790 --> 00:00:32,230
You know you don't have to go?
14
00:00:32,231 --> 00:00:33,550
I think I do.
15
00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:53,510
'Here, let me get that for you.'
16
00:00:53,510 --> 00:00:54,950
'Alan! Stop it!'
17
00:00:57,950 --> 00:01:01,629
And hurry up, for goodness sake.
Ha ha!
18
00:01:01,630 --> 00:01:03,149
Are you all right, darling?
19
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,869
Yeah, I'm fine.
20
00:01:04,870 --> 00:01:06,629
You look nice.
21
00:01:06,630 --> 00:01:07,709
Do I?
22
00:01:07,710 --> 00:01:09,869
Of course you do. You look amazing.
23
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:13,509
Why Mr Derbyshire, so kind!
Are you trying to seduce me?!
24
00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:15,269
Maybe I am!
25
00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:17,149
Maybe you should keep on trying!
26
00:01:17,150 --> 00:01:18,429
Maybe I will!
27
00:01:18,430 --> 00:01:20,830
Maybe you should do this
somewhere else.
28
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:23,070
We should probably be going.
29
00:01:24,590 --> 00:01:26,670
Are you sure you'll be all right
without us?
30
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:28,390
It's just a work do,
we won't be late.
31
00:01:28,391 --> 00:01:30,909
No, I want you to go.
32
00:01:30,910 --> 00:01:33,629
I mean, I'll be fine.
33
00:01:33,630 --> 00:01:35,510
Well, call us if you need us.
34
00:01:35,510 --> 00:01:36,750
I won't need you.
35
00:01:36,751 --> 00:01:38,230
We won't be late.
36
00:01:40,150 --> 00:01:41,789
Ha ha!
37
00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:43,909
Oh! Alan!
38
00:01:43,910 --> 00:01:46,709
I know you're desperate,
but you don't see how taking money
39
00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:48,350
meant for a children's charity
40
00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:50,830
and using it to pay for a prostitute
is a problem?
41
00:01:55,510 --> 00:01:58,229
But that sort of money,
it's just a drop in the ocean.
42
00:01:58,230 --> 00:02:01,469
If I was to spend that
on poverty-stricken orphans, it wouldn't make a dent.
43
00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:04,869
Right. Whereas if I was to
get a prostitute,
44
00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:07,789
it'll make an enormous difference to
my own personal wellbeing.
45
00:02:07,790 --> 00:02:10,430
And you're actually going to
run this thing?
46
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,230
God, no... No, what'd be the point?
47
00:02:12,231 --> 00:02:15,709
I'll just hide out here, go home,
complain about my hamstrings
48
00:02:15,710 --> 00:02:17,549
and collect the cash.
49
00:02:17,550 --> 00:02:19,230
Your lot are away, right?
50
00:02:19,230 --> 00:02:20,750
Yeah, a couple of days at the Lakes.
51
00:02:20,751 --> 00:02:22,629
Great. Sorted, then.
52
00:02:22,630 --> 00:02:25,190
You know, you could always just give
the money to charity
53
00:02:25,190 --> 00:02:26,670
and wait to meet the right girl.
54
00:02:26,671 --> 00:02:29,750
Yeah, because that's worked so well
for you so far.
55
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:30,910
The sex part did.
56
00:02:30,911 --> 00:02:32,989
No...
57
00:02:32,990 --> 00:02:34,830
No, I'm through with waiting.
58
00:02:34,830 --> 00:02:37,630
And besides,
I've found the right girl.
59
00:02:42,350 --> 00:02:46,229
See, for 300 quid,
I can afford this high-end,
60
00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:49,109
proper, female, woman prostitute.
61
00:02:49,110 --> 00:02:51,509
Or, for the same price,
62
00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:55,150
two very convincing transsexuals.
63
00:02:55,150 --> 00:02:56,870
What do you think?
64
00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:01,629
Wow, look at the rack on that guy!
65
00:03:01,630 --> 00:03:03,269
Yeah, I know!
66
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:06,269
I definitely preferred it when
they were cold and hostile to...
67
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:09,269
I don't know
what you'd call it... Frisky?
68
00:03:09,270 --> 00:03:13,629
Eew! I cannot imagine them frisky.
Your mum, maybe...
69
00:03:13,630 --> 00:03:17,029
she's got that whole high-strung,
dressage pony thing going on.
70
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,749
I'm just glad they're out.
71
00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:22,029
Hey, Laura, I'd love to chat,
72
00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:26,029
but I've got this... big essay...
73
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:28,309
and I should probably go.
74
00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:30,949
Oh, come on, Dan, I'm so bored here.
75
00:03:30,950 --> 00:03:35,029
I'm sorry, I'm just snowed under.
76
00:03:35,030 --> 00:03:38,269
Why don't you go and call
your boyfriend, Jamie?
77
00:03:38,270 --> 00:03:40,829
Oh, he's not really my boyfriend.
78
00:03:40,830 --> 00:03:43,669
Oh, my God, I was not being serious.
79
00:03:43,670 --> 00:03:46,429
You're not actually considering him
as boyfriend material?!
80
00:03:46,430 --> 00:03:50,069
No! Well... I don't know.
81
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:52,670
We had that kiss.
82
00:03:52,670 --> 00:03:54,590
Oh, it's just all a bit unresolved.
83
00:03:54,591 --> 00:03:58,629
Oh, yeah, that kiss, because
that's the unresolved issue here!
84
00:03:58,630 --> 00:04:01,430
But he's... nice.
85
00:04:01,430 --> 00:04:03,310
I mean, that's a good start,
isn't it?
86
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:07,429
Yeah, you're right. I mean, he's
probably got a lot going for him.
87
00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:11,269
He's probably got his 50 meters
swimming badge, knot-tying,
88
00:04:11,270 --> 00:04:13,389
'fire lighting...' Shut up.
89
00:04:13,390 --> 00:04:15,470
Chess club... I'm hanging up.
90
00:04:15,470 --> 00:04:17,670
Cycling proficiency.
91
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,159
It's amazing, isn't it,
92
00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,480
just spending time in all this?
93
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,920
We could have just went to
the coffee shop in the village.
94
00:04:30,921 --> 00:04:33,399
Yes, it's not the same as
being out here.
95
00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,959
No, it was warmer,
and they had cake.
96
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,519
Just watch your footing on this
section, it's a bit uneven.
97
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,160
Oh, a bit uneven -
it's getting exciting now!
98
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:43,600
I just think it helps put
everything into perspective.
99
00:04:43,601 --> 00:04:45,600
Oh, yeah, I find that being
on a gradient,
100
00:04:45,601 --> 00:04:48,079
miles from a loo
really calms me down!
101
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,759
You know, because some things
which might seem like a big deal,
102
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,439
when you think about them,
they really aren't.
103
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:56,839
Trust me, no amount of scenery is
going to take my mind off
104
00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,360
being a granny at my age.
105
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,520
No, not just the baby.
Other things too.
106
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,439
Have you got something you need to
say to me, Keith?
107
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,879
Actually, yes.
108
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,479
Sandra... last week...
109
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,919
I quit.
110
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,799
You quit what?
111
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,159
My job.
112
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:18,879
I took redundancy.
113
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,159
What?
114
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,119
They're cost cutting.
So they offered me a choice...
115
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:27,599
more hours for less money,
or voluntary redundancy.
116
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,000
What were you thinking?!
117
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,280
OK, Sandra, listen...
118
00:05:30,281 --> 00:05:33,280
What the bloody hell are we going
to do without your wages coming in?
119
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,000
Christ! Are you
some kind of simpleton?
120
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,239
Oh! Aah! Keith?
121
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,680
Keith! Aah! Aah! Oh, shit.
122
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,840
Aah! Oh, Keith.
123
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,800
Hiya. Hey. I was wondering
124
00:05:47,801 --> 00:05:50,479
if you want to come and collect
money for Mike's cause.
125
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,360
Not really. I'm surprised
you're on board with that project.
126
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,520
Of course I am.
I'm going to go cheer him on later.
127
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:58,119
What, at the prostitu...?
128
00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,520
You're on about the race.
129
00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,800
What are you on about?
130
00:06:01,801 --> 00:06:03,839
Nothing. It's a great cause.
131
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,959
Mike's raising money for
Indian street orphans.
132
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,160
Yeah, he absolutely is.
133
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,080
Do you want to come in
for a cup of...
134
00:06:10,081 --> 00:06:11,480
tea?
135
00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:13,400
He's raising money for a prostitute.
136
00:06:13,401 --> 00:06:16,800
Is he? My God, that's outrageous!
137
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:18,120
And you know about it.
138
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,719
Yes, I do.
139
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,839
So this picture he gave me of
Little Dinesh?
140
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:25,279
Not real.
141
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:28,120
He's not a defiant little soul
surviving on the streets of Mumbai
142
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,600
since he was two,
fixing shoes to buy scraps of food?
143
00:06:30,601 --> 00:06:33,000
No.
144
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,600
He's the son of the guy who owns
Star Of India on the high street.
145
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,719
Beth? What are you going to do?
146
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:45,440
Something. And don't tip him off.
147
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:46,520
I wasn't going to.
148
00:06:46,521 --> 00:06:48,120
Because I'll know.
149
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,920
OK.
150
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,440
Hello?
151
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:02,600
Hi.
152
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,080
Hey.
153
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,640
Hi...
154
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,159
Hello?
155
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:14,679
Hi, yeah.
156
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:20,479
Er... I was just wondering if... if
you perhaps wanted to go out...
157
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,719
Yeah, yeah, I'd love to.
158
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,279
To the shops.
159
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,919
Oh... OK.
160
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,680
'Oh, I mean... You know...'
161
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,040
You don't have to,
if you're busy with Beth and Mike...
162
00:07:31,041 --> 00:07:34,319
Oh, no, I think they've got
something planned together.
163
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:38,679
OK, I just needed some stuff from
the shops and I thought maybe...
164
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,479
maybe you could drive me?
165
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,440
Yeah, yeah, sounds good.
166
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:45,480
It's not a date.
167
00:07:45,481 --> 00:07:48,119
No. No, it doesn't sound like one.
168
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,879
Just out.
169
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,560
Just out.
170
00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,440
'OK, see you later, then.'
171
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,240
Hey, Beth.
172
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,039
So, ready for the big race?
173
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,439
Well, you do what you can.
174
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,079
And hey,
thanks for your contributions.
175
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,719
Every little helps.
176
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:28,359
Yeah, you never actually said
what the money will be spent on.
177
00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:32,679
Well,
so many... projects benefitting.
178
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:35,119
Name some.
179
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:37,279
I wouldn't really know
where to start.
180
00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,879
Try.
181
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:42,959
OK, well, there's the...
182
00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,239
Mumbai irrigation project.
183
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,079
Right.
184
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:50,160
And what exactly would they be
irrigating in the middle of a city?
185
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,440
I mean, it's not like they can grow
crops there, is it?
186
00:08:52,441 --> 00:08:56,559
No, it's to irrigate the...
187
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:58,199
children.
188
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,519
And why would they do that?
189
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,639
To... to keep them cool?
190
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:07,599
Cos it's really hot out there, so
they spray them down each morning,
191
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:11,079
and that keeps
their temperatures down...
192
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:14,559
Aaah!
193
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:17,639
I know about the whore.
194
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,799
OK.
195
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:19,879
Jamie told me.
196
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,079
OK.
197
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,159
This is a new low, even for you.
198
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:27,639
Look, Beth, if you're worrying about
Little Dinesh, don't.
199
00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:30,279
He's sharp, he's streetwise,
he's a survivor...
200
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,600
He's the kid from the curry house!
201
00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,918
Jamie told you that too, then?
202
00:09:33,919 --> 00:09:35,880
Orphans are going to die
because you want sex!
203
00:09:35,881 --> 00:09:39,199
OK, please can you not shout that
in a park?!
204
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,839
OK? And they're not going to die.
205
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,959
The majority will just
continue to suffer.
206
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,599
Fine! Good.
207
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,119
Let's see how your sponsors feel
about this, shall we?
208
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:54,559
Your parents gave you ?100,
let's start with them.
209
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,759
No, no, no. OK, OK,
what if I was to cut you in?
210
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,879
You can have
whatever's in the bucket.
211
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:04,880
That money's going to charity,
and you are running that race.
212
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,360
And you're going to wear this
when you do it.
213
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,720
How on earth did you manage to
get me pregnant?
214
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,120
Do you think
I should straighten up a bit? No.
215
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,959
Oh! Are you OK?
216
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,479
Yeah, I'm fine. I wish everybody
would stop asking me that.
217
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,080
I'm banning that question.
218
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,560
Where is the exit?
219
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,080
I could drive you over there
if you'd like?
220
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,640
I'll walk.
The shops will be closing soon.
221
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:53,782
And I think it's the minutiae
that I find so fascinating.
222
00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:56,462
Of course, in maritime law,
there are huge legal implications
223
00:10:56,463 --> 00:10:59,063
in distinguishing between
flotsam and jetsam.
224
00:10:59,063 --> 00:11:02,303
I mean, it's amazing
what gets lost at sea.
225
00:11:07,263 --> 00:11:09,823
Of course, the key is to chuck
enough jetsam overboard
226
00:11:09,823 --> 00:11:12,223
before you sink,
and then everything becomes flotsam.
227
00:11:12,224 --> 00:11:15,422
Oh, very funny, James.
228
00:11:15,423 --> 00:11:17,702
Good for you.
229
00:11:17,703 --> 00:11:20,302
James, can I tear my wife
away from you for a moment?
230
00:11:20,303 --> 00:11:21,502
If you must.
231
00:11:21,503 --> 00:11:25,942
Can't have you boring her
all afternoon!
232
00:11:25,943 --> 00:11:29,302
No, James was hardly boring me
at all.
233
00:11:29,303 --> 00:11:31,983
Well... perhaps a little during
the maritime law section,
234
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:36,103
but, many times, we strayed into
interesting conversation.
235
00:11:37,903 --> 00:11:39,622
Well, if you'll excuse me,
236
00:11:39,623 --> 00:11:41,703
I must go and grease
the wheels of benevolence.
237
00:11:41,703 --> 00:11:43,063
You grease away, James.
238
00:11:46,943 --> 00:11:48,342
Having fun?
239
00:11:48,343 --> 00:11:52,582
James says I should consider
returning to practise.
240
00:11:52,583 --> 00:11:55,463
Really? And would that be
his practice, by any chance?
241
00:11:55,463 --> 00:11:56,583
Oh, how did you guess?
242
00:11:56,584 --> 00:11:59,663
He said he could smooth the way
for me.
243
00:11:59,663 --> 00:12:00,783
Well, lucky you.
244
00:12:00,784 --> 00:12:04,023
But I think he's only interested
in my excellent legal mind.
245
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:05,463
Naturally.
246
00:12:07,223 --> 00:12:11,702
Talking of which, I think we should
go somewhere a little more private
247
00:12:11,703 --> 00:12:13,463
to discuss my credentials.
248
00:12:13,463 --> 00:12:15,783
Mmm, very interesting.
249
00:12:55,623 --> 00:12:56,983
Here, let me help with that.
250
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:59,183
Oh, thanks.
251
00:13:01,103 --> 00:13:02,943
Just go, just go!
252
00:13:48,303 --> 00:13:51,423
What is it? Do you want to stop
holding hands?
253
00:13:51,423 --> 00:13:52,663
Oh, it's coming!
254
00:13:52,664 --> 00:13:55,302
Oh. Oh, OK.
255
00:13:55,303 --> 00:13:57,982
Er, OK, calm down.
Are you sure it's not indigestion?
256
00:13:57,983 --> 00:14:00,622
Jamie, it's coming.
You need to take me to hospital.
257
00:14:00,623 --> 00:14:03,862
Ow! OK! I can do that!
258
00:14:03,863 --> 00:14:05,623
Ow... Agh!
259
00:14:05,623 --> 00:14:08,583
Ow!
260
00:14:12,103 --> 00:14:15,542
'Please mind the door.'
OK, it's going to be fine.
261
00:14:15,543 --> 00:14:19,742
Just one question, can you remember
which floor we were on?
262
00:14:19,743 --> 00:14:22,422
It was three, I think.
263
00:14:22,423 --> 00:14:24,183
Three or six.
264
00:14:24,183 --> 00:14:26,303
Oooohh!
265
00:14:29,223 --> 00:14:31,023
I think my waters just broke.
266
00:14:31,023 --> 00:14:32,623
Yeah, let's hope it's that.
267
00:14:39,063 --> 00:14:41,943
Thanks. Um... No, just...
268
00:15:28,503 --> 00:15:31,542
Oh! It wasn't on this floor.
269
00:15:31,543 --> 00:15:32,982
No, no, I think it was.
270
00:15:32,983 --> 00:15:34,502
Oh! Aah!
271
00:15:34,503 --> 00:15:38,742
Well, maybe if I use
the thingy, it will do...
272
00:15:38,743 --> 00:15:40,183
Ah!
273
00:15:40,183 --> 00:15:42,223
Did you see any lights flash?
274
00:15:44,703 --> 00:15:46,542
Come on, it's in here somewhere.
275
00:15:46,543 --> 00:15:49,943
Jamie, seriously,
it wasn't this floor.
276
00:15:49,943 --> 00:15:51,943
Ooh!
277
00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:54,863
Come on, come on!
278
00:15:56,183 --> 00:15:58,303
Ooh... Ah...
279
00:16:05,783 --> 00:16:09,462
No, it's fine.
I've got enough now, thanks.
280
00:16:09,463 --> 00:16:11,942
For God's sake,
what's wrong with you, people?
281
00:16:11,943 --> 00:16:14,543
Haven't you got notes?!
282
00:16:14,543 --> 00:16:16,343
You can donate online, you know!
283
00:16:23,863 --> 00:16:26,622
Oh, where are we?
284
00:16:26,623 --> 00:16:28,623
I don't know.
285
00:16:28,623 --> 00:16:30,383
Didn't we come this way?
286
00:16:32,343 --> 00:16:35,102
I thought this was the way back
to the main shops.
287
00:16:35,103 --> 00:16:37,142
OK, that's it.
I'm not moving anymore.
288
00:16:37,143 --> 00:16:38,782
We can't have it here.
289
00:16:38,783 --> 00:16:42,662
I'm not going to make it in time.
This baby's coming now.
290
00:16:42,663 --> 00:16:44,702
But what about the hospital?
291
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:47,262
You go if you want.
I'm not moving anymore.
292
00:16:47,263 --> 00:16:49,583
Oh!
293
00:16:49,583 --> 00:16:51,543
Ooh! Aah!
294
00:16:54,463 --> 00:16:56,662
Oh... Ah...
295
00:16:56,663 --> 00:16:59,422
Why now, Keith? I didn't plan it.
296
00:16:59,423 --> 00:17:02,263
Oh, no kidding!
Jesus, if it wasn't hard enough.
297
00:17:02,263 --> 00:17:03,663
And there's a baby on the way!
298
00:17:03,664 --> 00:17:06,342
People are depending on you,
do you understand that?
299
00:17:06,343 --> 00:17:08,542
Yes, but I just looked at
Paul Morgan
300
00:17:08,543 --> 00:17:11,022
offering me less for more,
and I couldn't do it.
301
00:17:11,023 --> 00:17:13,022
What was Paul Morgan doing,
making you offers?
302
00:17:13,023 --> 00:17:14,342
He's my supervisor now.
303
00:17:14,343 --> 00:17:16,463
That lanky git got a promotion?
304
00:17:16,463 --> 00:17:17,663
Yeah, three months ago.
305
00:17:17,664 --> 00:17:18,982
Why didn't you tell me?
306
00:17:18,983 --> 00:17:20,502
What would have been the point?
307
00:17:20,503 --> 00:17:23,903
Does this hurt?
Ow, yeah. Yes. And yes!
308
00:17:23,903 --> 00:17:24,943
I think it's broken.
309
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,703
We're going to have to call
the mountain rescue people.
310
00:17:27,703 --> 00:17:29,261
No! I don't want them
coming out here,
311
00:17:29,262 --> 00:17:31,701
thinking I'm some knob
who doesn't know what he's doing.
312
00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,423
Oh, OK. We'll just stay here, then,
313
00:17:33,424 --> 00:17:35,782
for a few weeks on this mountain
until it heals,
314
00:17:35,783 --> 00:17:38,783
and I'll build us a lean-to
and befriend some of the sheep!
315
00:17:38,783 --> 00:17:40,503
Just give me a minute!
316
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,639
Ooh...
317
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,039
Yes, ambulance,
it's my girlfriend...
318
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,639
Well, no, she's not my girlfriend,
she's my friend, but...
319
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,159
Jamie, for God's sake!
320
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:01,399
OK, look, she's giving birth, OK?
A woman is giving birth...
321
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,719
Aaaah!
322
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,759
Yep, that was her...
323
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,119
I don't know how far advanced!
324
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,679
Oooeeeewww!
325
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:13,519
Oh! Something is definitely
going on down there.
326
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,519
Oooeeeewww!
327
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:19,199
You're just going to have to go
and ask for your job back.
328
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,039
I can't, I can't do that.
329
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,679
Yes, you can. You'll just have to
swallow your pride. No, I can't.
330
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,719
Yes, you bloody can.
You go back in there...
331
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,879
Sandra! I punched him... twice.
332
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:34,320
The deal is, I take redundancy and
he won't press the assault charges.
333
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,000
Oh, God...
334
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:43,520
Aaaaaaaah!
335
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,760
Yeah, I thought you might
react that way.
336
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,600
Hello, Jamie, we're just
in the middle of something here.
337
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,158
Can I call you back?
'No! You can't!'
338
00:18:55,159 --> 00:18:56,398
Why? What's happening?
339
00:18:56,399 --> 00:18:57,758
Aaaah! The baby's coming.
340
00:18:57,759 --> 00:18:58,920
'Are you at the hospital?'
341
00:18:58,921 --> 00:19:02,279
No, we're in a car park.
Laura's on the phone to the doctor, but I need some help.
342
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,319
What kind of help? 'I don't know,
just somebody to talk me through it.'
343
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,919
OK, OK, calm down, calm down.
How far along is she?
344
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,639
I don't know. 'Is she fully dilated?'
I don't know!
345
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,959
Jamie, they need to
talk to you. Jamie!
346
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,359
'Jamie, talk to me!'
347
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:18,159
I don't... 'Are you listening to me?
What the hell are you doing?'
348
00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:19,639
Where's the ambulance?!
349
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,159
OK, can everybody just give me
a break?
350
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,840
I don't know what's going on!
351
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:26,960
Sandra, give me the damn phone.
352
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,559
Jamie, it's your dad.
353
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:33,799
Aaaaaah!
354
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:37,559
'Now, listen, you need to
take a deep breath and go to Laura
355
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,399
'and start nodding like
you know what you're doing.'
356
00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,239
Now, I know you're scared.
357
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,719
Yes, definitely!
358
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:47,200
'But this isn't about you,
it's about her.'
359
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,640
It doesn't matter that
you don't know what you're doing.
360
00:19:49,641 --> 00:19:53,479
The important thing is that you look
like you know what you're doing.
361
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,639
'That's all she needs from you now.
362
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,799
'Sorry, son, but life's going to be
like this from now on.'
363
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,639
Truth is, most of the time,
I have no idea what I'm doing.
364
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,480
But when people are depending on
you, you can't let them know that.
365
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,840
You've just got to plant your feet
and do your best.
366
00:20:07,841 --> 00:20:10,719
'Now, repeat after me.'
367
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,039
Don't worry, I can handle this.
368
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,559
Don't worry, I can handle this.
369
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,199
'Now say, "It's going to be fine."'
370
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,960
It's going to be fine.
371
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,600
Does she look like
she's going for it?
372
00:20:21,601 --> 00:20:24,919
Aaaaaaaah!
373
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,399
A bit.
374
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,079
'OK.'
375
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,999
Now, to sell this,
you're going to have to hang up.
376
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,799
Say you've got to go
and help Laura get through this.
377
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:38,119
I'm going to go. I'm going to
help Laura get through this.
378
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,599
'Good.'
379
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,520
Tell me not to worry,
you know what to do.
380
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,880
Don't worry, I know what to do.
381
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,560
Good luck, son.
382
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,640
Thanks.
383
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,599
Hi, I'm Jamie. I'm the boyfriend.
384
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,200
I'm with her now.
385
00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,840
Tell me what to do.
386
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,240
Is that how you really feel?
387
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,920
Only about 80% of the time.
388
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:18,560
OK, are you ready to push? No.
389
00:21:18,561 --> 00:21:19,720
Push anyway!
390
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:23,919
Aaaaah!
391
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,479
Aaaaah!
392
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,280
Why are you screaming?
393
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,640
I don't know. It just feels right!
394
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,400
Remind me never to eat here.
395
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,680
Aaaaaah!
396
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,360
I'm just empathising.
397
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,080
Are you all right?
398
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,359
Yeah, that's good.
399
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,680
Yeah? Yeah, I feel like
we're getting somewhere.
400
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,960
That's encouraging. Yeah.
401
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,760
Aaaaaaah!
402
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,080
OK, OK, I can see something.
403
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:31,879
It's a baby!
404
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,039
What were you expecting,
a golden retriever?!
405
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:35,840
OK, sorry.
406
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,280
Aaaaah!
407
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,919
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
408
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,119
Oh, God!
409
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,160
Oh, God!
410
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,520
Oh, God!
411
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,240
God!
412
00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:22,639
I'm a grandmother!
Aaaarrggh! Ha ha ha!
413
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,679
Ha ha ha!
414
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:27,320
Shiiiit!
415
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:30,080
Yep, that's your mother!
416
00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:42,760
I'll be back for the rest later.
417
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,720
Oh, fuck.
418
00:25:09,050 --> 00:25:11,570
I don't suppose you could
carry me up there?
419
00:25:15,170 --> 00:25:17,649
Beth, what are you...?
420
00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:19,050
You couldn't do it.
421
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:22,050
No, I couldn't walk up those stairs.
422
00:25:23,770 --> 00:25:25,369
I'm proud of you.
423
00:25:25,370 --> 00:25:27,369
Thanks?
424
00:25:27,370 --> 00:25:31,169
I'd better take the money, though,
425
00:25:31,170 --> 00:25:32,730
just in case you feel weak again.
426
00:25:32,730 --> 00:25:34,090
Uh...
427
00:25:38,130 --> 00:25:40,689
You're doing a good thing.
428
00:25:40,690 --> 00:25:43,729
Yep. It feels good.
429
00:25:43,730 --> 00:25:45,730
C'mon.
430
00:25:45,730 --> 00:25:48,210
I suppose we could spend
a bit of the money on a takeaway.
431
00:25:48,211 --> 00:25:50,769
Yeah? Yeah, I was thinking
maybe a curry.
432
00:25:50,770 --> 00:25:53,290
Might get a reduction with
the T-shirt.
433
00:25:53,290 --> 00:25:56,330
Wow, makes it all worthwhile!
434
00:26:02,010 --> 00:26:04,570
They're not picking up.
435
00:26:16,090 --> 00:26:17,970
'You have one new message.'
436
00:26:17,970 --> 00:26:20,890
'Hi, can you call me?
You're grandparents.'
437
00:26:32,170 --> 00:26:34,889
You're my hero, Keith,
do you know that?
438
00:26:34,890 --> 00:26:36,289
Yeah.
439
00:26:36,290 --> 00:26:38,289
I hope you broke Paul Morgan's nose.
440
00:26:38,290 --> 00:26:40,649
I made his lip bleed.
441
00:26:40,650 --> 00:26:42,009
Good.
442
00:26:42,010 --> 00:26:44,929
Aah! Does your ankle hurt?
443
00:26:44,930 --> 00:26:48,449
No, I've got one of my knackers
trapped on your shoulder.
444
00:26:48,450 --> 00:26:50,850
Oh, how's that?
445
00:26:50,850 --> 00:26:53,530
Yeah. Good.
446
00:26:55,970 --> 00:26:58,770
Jamie, are you going to cry again?
447
00:26:58,770 --> 00:27:00,290
No.
448
00:27:01,650 --> 00:27:05,529
It's just this whole birth thing,
it's been really difficult for me.
449
00:27:05,530 --> 00:27:09,650
Oh, God, is this
what it's going to be like?
450
00:27:09,650 --> 00:27:11,410
OK, are we all ready in there?
451
00:27:19,770 --> 00:27:21,410
Not really.
452
00:27:21,460 --> 00:27:26,010
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