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1
00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:04,200
So then What happened?
2
00:00:04,201 --> 00:00:06,675
Well she didn't show up to
school the next day
3
00:00:06,676 --> 00:00:09,275
..and ... I heard that she slept over
at his dorm.
4
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:10,650
NO Way!
5
00:00:10,651 --> 00:00:13,120
mm hmm ... Seriously, are you surprised?
6
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,140
Do you not know Carly?
Have you seen what she wears to school?
7
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:19,700
Girls, lets cool it on the gossip.
Okay? It's not right and Carly's got enough problems.
8
00:00:20,701 --> 00:00:21,800
What do you mean?
9
00:00:21,901 --> 00:00:24,751
Well ... her mom can't get through
soccer practice ....
10
00:00:24,752 --> 00:00:26,281
Without a thermos of chardonnay...
11
00:00:26,282 --> 00:00:29,473
And don't get me started on the dad.
That guy is--
12
00:00:29,474 --> 00:00:31,041
Oh! Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
13
00:00:31,042 --> 00:00:35,262
- Mom! - Oh! This is such a
dangerous intersection!
14
00:00:35,430 --> 00:00:37,380
Did I get lipstick on my face?
15
00:00:37,381 --> 00:00:39,643
No, you're fine.
And consider yourself lucky
16
00:00:39,644 --> 00:00:41,949
You didn't just get, like,
felt up by your mom.
17
00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:43,272
They need to get a stop sign.
18
00:00:43,273 --> 00:00:44,719
What is your obsession with traffic?
19
00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,770
It's an obsession with safety.
20
00:00:46,771 --> 00:00:49,890
One of these days, Joe Speeder's
gonna come tearing through here,
21
00:00:49,891 --> 00:00:51,621
- and somebody's gonna-- Aah!
- Aah!
22
00:00:52,557 --> 00:00:53,543
- Aah! Oh!
- I'm okay.
23
00:00:54,044 --> 00:00:56,345
- Oh! Oh, my god!
- I'm okay. Oh, hey, guys.
24
00:00:56,346 --> 00:00:59,374
- Phil? - Yeah.
No, I'm good. Gotta keep moving.
25
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,185
Keep the heart rate up.
26
00:01:02,426 --> 00:01:03,488
Oh. Okay.
27
00:01:03,489 --> 00:01:04,718
How's my face?
28
00:01:04,719 --> 00:01:06,006
Still good.
29
00:01:06,046 --> 00:01:07,196
Okay. Good.
30
00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:09,535
Modern Family.
31
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:13,036
Sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:01:18,981 --> 00:01:21,021
Gloria, how many times
do I have to tell you
33
00:01:21,022 --> 00:01:22,601
to pull your car all the way in?
34
00:01:22,602 --> 00:01:24,042
The gate was open all night.
35
00:01:24,043 --> 00:01:25,892
We live in a nice neighborhood.
36
00:01:25,893 --> 00:01:29,139
What are you afraid of?
That some money's gonna fly in
37
00:01:29,140 --> 00:01:31,917
and then your gardener
is gonna have to rake it up?
38
00:01:32,566 --> 00:01:34,714
Jay, I'm going to need you
to cut me a check.
39
00:01:34,715 --> 00:01:35,569
What now?
40
00:01:35,570 --> 00:01:37,680
Drama club trip. "Les Miserables."
41
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,544
We're selling wrapping paper
to raise money for the tickets.
42
00:01:39,545 --> 00:01:42,252
No. No. Wait. Wait. Slow down.
What's the story exactly?
43
00:01:42,253 --> 00:01:44,389
Well, Jean Valjean
spent 19 years in prison
44
00:01:44,390 --> 00:01:46,847
- for stealing a loaf of bread.
- The wrapping paper.
45
00:01:46,848 --> 00:01:49,100
19 years for a loaf of bread?
46
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:50,929
How good was this bread?
47
00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:52,806
It wasn't about the bread.
It was about the society--
48
00:01:52,807 --> 00:01:54,509
Focus, people.
49
00:01:54,510 --> 00:01:56,029
Manny, we will buy
all your wrapping paper.
50
00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:59,065
No. No, we won't.
No, he's got to learn to sell.
51
00:01:59,261 --> 00:02:01,237
This is the best
business training there is,
52
00:02:01,238 --> 00:02:02,692
hell, the best life training.
53
00:02:02,693 --> 00:02:04,075
Manny, write this down--
54
00:02:04,450 --> 00:02:08,184
"A good salesman goes after
Moby Dick in a rowboat
55
00:02:08,314 --> 00:02:10,747
and brings the tartar sauce with him."
56
00:02:12,037 --> 00:02:14,449
Jay is always telling me
to "Write this down."
57
00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:16,697
I don't always catch everything he says.
58
00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:20,068
"Something, something, firm handshake."
59
00:02:21,252 --> 00:02:23,540
"Never take the first room
they show you."
60
00:02:23,574 --> 00:02:25,582
Not sure who "They" is.
61
00:02:25,984 --> 00:02:28,513
And this one just says "Pancakes."
62
00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:31,312
Cam, what's this scribble
on the "Vanity fair"
63
00:02:31,313 --> 00:02:33,500
- about an adoption agency?
- Oh, uh, yeah, they called
64
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,951
to say they wanted
to reschedule our home visit.
65
00:02:35,952 --> 00:02:39,236
When? Why didn't you tell me?
Th-this is kind of important.
66
00:02:39,237 --> 00:02:40,683
Well, when does it say?
67
00:02:41,257 --> 00:02:41,970
Uh, well, who knows?
68
00:02:41,971 --> 00:02:44,134
It disappears into Jennifer Aniston's hair.
69
00:02:44,329 --> 00:02:45,889
You gotta get a better system.
70
00:02:45,993 --> 00:02:48,050
There is nothing wrong with my system.
71
00:02:48,051 --> 00:02:49,662
Ask me anything
about any upcoming event.
72
00:02:49,663 --> 00:02:51,297
I can tell you when and where it is.
73
00:02:51,391 --> 00:02:53,568
When is the adoption agency visit?
74
00:02:54,337 --> 00:02:56,642
Okay. Is that a "5" or a curl?
75
00:02:56,952 --> 00:02:59,264
Oh, I hope Jen's finally found love.
76
00:03:06,049 --> 00:03:07,183
What happened here?
77
00:03:07,184 --> 00:03:09,114
Well, Lily and I woke up in a french mood,
78
00:03:09,115 --> 00:03:11,562
so we decided to whip up some crepes.
79
00:03:11,573 --> 00:03:13,542
When are you gonna be
in the mood to wipe up some crepes?
80
00:03:13,543 --> 00:03:15,342
Oh, I know, it's a little messy, but...
81
00:03:15,343 --> 00:03:17,228
- You know what? I'm gonna clean it up.
- Okay.
82
00:03:17,229 --> 00:03:19,432
- I'll clean it up.
- Will you?
83
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,496
- Just say what's on your mind.
- You never clean up.
84
00:03:21,497 --> 00:03:23,038
Save the gasp.
85
00:03:23,039 --> 00:03:24,966
Cam, whenever you get creative
in the kitchen,
86
00:03:24,967 --> 00:03:26,939
I'm the one who ends up
cleaning it up, okay?
87
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:30,485
The homemade pizza, fondue,
molecular gastronomy.
88
00:03:30,486 --> 00:03:32,646
I'm still cleaning shrimp foam
out of the curtains.
89
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:35,302
Okay, you know, Mitchell?
Just go to work, okay?
90
00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:37,806
I'm gonna take Lily to school,
and then when I get home,
91
00:03:37,945 --> 00:03:39,953
I'm gonna scrub this place
like a crime scene,
92
00:03:40,313 --> 00:03:42,256
which it is,
because you've murdered joy.
93
00:03:46,604 --> 00:03:48,723
Hey, buddy. What's up?
94
00:03:48,724 --> 00:03:50,304
Hey, dad. Think fast.
95
00:03:52,537 --> 00:03:54,043
Oh, my god!
96
00:03:54,045 --> 00:03:56,312
- Oh, my god!
- Oh, my god!
97
00:03:56,313 --> 00:03:59,331
If we had that on tape,
it'd be the greatest youtube video ever!
98
00:03:59,332 --> 00:04:02,113
We'd get, like, a million hits.
This is our double rainbow!
99
00:04:02,114 --> 00:04:03,568
We need to do it again.
100
00:04:03,569 --> 00:04:05,242
Oh, I would, buddy, but, uh,
101
00:04:05,243 --> 00:04:07,786
your mom's all over me
to change a bunch of lightbulbs.
102
00:04:07,795 --> 00:04:10,250
How many moms does it take
to screw on a lightbulb?
103
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:13,716
- I don't know. - None,
'cause they get you to do it, sucker.
104
00:04:17,148 --> 00:04:18,404
I laughed, but...
105
00:04:19,398 --> 00:04:20,910
It hurt a little.
106
00:04:22,559 --> 00:04:23,894
We're home!
107
00:04:24,093 --> 00:04:26,360
- Us, too.
- Oh, great. You're all here.
108
00:04:26,361 --> 00:04:27,617
What's up, girl?
109
00:04:28,099 --> 00:04:30,419
Oh. You know that
really dangerous intersection?
110
00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:33,742
Where desire meets jealousy,
and the result is murder?
111
00:04:33,743 --> 00:04:35,330
Mnh-mnh. The one
where I almost killed you this morning.
112
00:04:35,331 --> 00:04:38,623
Oh, yeah. Sorry.
That was my bad. I got lost in my jams.
113
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:41,865
Dangerous combo--
speed walking and speedwagon.
114
00:04:41,866 --> 00:04:44,389
Oh. I wasn't even trying for that.
115
00:04:44,390 --> 00:04:45,235
Nice.
116
00:04:45,236 --> 00:04:48,352
Well, I am getting us a stop sign.
117
00:04:48,353 --> 00:04:50,928
I called City Hall,
and how is this for amazing?
118
00:04:50,929 --> 00:04:52,791
The traffic committee meets tonight.
119
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,731
I've got goosebumps.
120
00:04:53,732 --> 00:04:57,452
I know, right?
All I have to do is get 50 signatures,
121
00:04:57,453 --> 00:04:59,117
show up, make my case.
122
00:04:59,118 --> 00:05:01,223
- It's on.
- I am so proud of you.
123
00:05:01,224 --> 00:05:03,086
- We all are.
- Mm.
124
00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:05,148
We love when mom gets on a project
125
00:05:05,149 --> 00:05:07,229
because usually
the minute any of us walks in the door,
126
00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:08,824
she gives us something to do.
127
00:05:08,825 --> 00:05:10,833
"Do your homework. Clean your room."
128
00:05:10,834 --> 00:05:11,996
"Put on pants."
129
00:05:11,997 --> 00:05:14,560
Like the queen's coming over.
Am I right?
130
00:05:15,264 --> 00:05:16,817
So when she's not around or gets busy,
131
00:05:16,818 --> 00:05:19,076
Luke and I capitalize on the situation.
132
00:05:19,993 --> 00:05:21,753
There you are, my good man.
133
00:05:22,107 --> 00:05:25,090
Squire, let's do it.
134
00:05:25,689 --> 00:05:27,032
Get you some!
135
00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:29,506
Well, I think it's awesome.
136
00:05:29,539 --> 00:05:31,423
I am so glad because
I could really use your help
137
00:05:31,424 --> 00:05:33,168
getting these signatures.
138
00:05:34,851 --> 00:05:36,196
I'll do it,
139
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,345
soon as I change
those lightbulbs you wanted.
140
00:05:38,346 --> 00:05:40,229
Great. Kids?
141
00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:43,494
Crud. You know,
I've got a ton of homework.
142
00:05:44,081 --> 00:05:47,734
- Uh, science project.
- Haley?
143
00:05:47,735 --> 00:05:50,708
I need to get started
on my college essay.
144
00:05:50,709 --> 00:05:53,527
You know what?
Maybe I'll write it about you.
145
00:05:53,528 --> 00:05:55,201
You're just so inspirational.
146
00:05:55,202 --> 00:05:57,664
Girl power! You rock.
147
00:05:57,665 --> 00:05:59,065
Thanks, honey.
148
00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:01,768
I do rock.
149
00:06:03,646 --> 00:06:05,262
Stella, down.
150
00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:10,162
Stella, no. This is very dangerous.
151
00:06:10,931 --> 00:06:12,003
Okay, se�orita. That's it.
152
00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:14,639
Come here,
because Jay is gonna be very mad
153
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,552
if something happens to you.
154
00:06:17,158 --> 00:06:19,473
Ay, tener que cuidar perro ahora.
�Qu� belleza!
155
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:23,871
Go play with the bone. See you later.
156
00:06:24,602 --> 00:06:27,687
Now I can cook my empanadas.
157
00:06:28,558 --> 00:06:29,814
The gate.
158
00:06:30,029 --> 00:06:30,972
Ay, no!
159
00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,365
Ay, no! The gate! The gate!
160
00:06:34,017 --> 00:06:36,513
Estella, come back!
161
00:06:45,723 --> 00:06:47,572
Hey there, Mr. Salesman.
162
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:49,304
Can we not talk about business?
163
00:06:49,305 --> 00:06:50,311
That bad, huh?
164
00:06:50,312 --> 00:06:51,906
I gave it everything I got--
165
00:06:51,907 --> 00:06:54,051
Working the dimples, going big eyes.
166
00:06:54,052 --> 00:06:57,091
It got me two things--
diddly and squat.
167
00:06:57,359 --> 00:06:58,698
How many houses you hit?
168
00:06:58,699 --> 00:07:00,004
I don't know.
169
00:07:00,357 --> 00:07:01,795
Must've been at least three.
170
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:04,978
Three? And that's your idea
of the best you got?
171
00:07:04,979 --> 00:07:06,215
It was very hard on me.
172
00:07:06,216 --> 00:07:09,137
I'm not used to rejection... Or hills.
173
00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:11,070
Look, you can't quit
after three houses.
174
00:07:11,071 --> 00:07:13,327
That's-- that's not perseverance.
175
00:07:13,651 --> 00:07:14,727
What are you selling?
176
00:07:14,728 --> 00:07:16,560
- Wrapping paper.
- Wrong.
177
00:07:16,776 --> 00:07:18,529
You're selling christmas--
178
00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:20,206
The excitement of opening presents,
179
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:21,813
the taste of eggnog.
180
00:07:21,814 --> 00:07:22,730
I do love eggnog.
181
00:07:22,731 --> 00:07:24,006
Look, write this down--
182
00:07:24,592 --> 00:07:27,776
"What's the difference between
'try' and 'triumph'?"
183
00:07:28,692 --> 00:07:29,381
A little oomph?
184
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,405
A little oomph. Get it?
185
00:07:31,502 --> 00:07:33,165
Of course I get it. I just said it.
186
00:07:34,665 --> 00:07:38,419
Hey! I'm gonna kill you
when I find you, silly dog!
187
00:07:38,446 --> 00:07:40,182
Why don't you come back? Stella!
188
00:07:40,183 --> 00:07:41,478
I have a theory.
189
00:07:41,538 --> 00:07:43,152
Ay, Cam, thank you for helping me.
190
00:07:43,153 --> 00:07:45,926
Oh, it's my pleasure. Stella!
191
00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:48,172
Stella!
192
00:07:50,051 --> 00:07:51,326
Oh, my god.
193
00:07:51,327 --> 00:07:53,134
What? Do you see her?
194
00:07:53,135 --> 00:07:57,206
No. But I see myself in the role
I was born to play.
195
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,543
Stella!
196
00:08:02,881 --> 00:08:05,900
Stella!
197
00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:14,304
Hello? Oh, Mitchell,
you are not gonna believe this.
198
00:08:14,305 --> 00:08:16,268
I'm out helping Gloria look for her dog.
199
00:08:16,269 --> 00:08:18,530
I'm wearing an undershirt
and I'm screaming "Stella,"
200
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:20,324
just like in "Streetcar."
201
00:08:20,913 --> 00:08:22,739
- Hello?
- You didn't clean the kitchen.
202
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:25,273
Mitchell, I am
an inadvertent Stanley Kowalski.
203
00:08:25,274 --> 00:08:27,091
How can you not be delighted by this?
204
00:08:27,092 --> 00:08:28,229
You promised.
205
00:08:28,230 --> 00:08:29,633
I was called away for an emergency.
206
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,761
Gloria's lost her dog,
and she's heartbroken.
207
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:35,533
Where are you, dumb dog?
I hope in a big, black hole.
208
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:38,842
I cannot believe that
you did this to me yet again. Oh.
209
00:08:38,843 --> 00:08:40,802
I didn't do anything.
210
00:08:40,803 --> 00:08:42,879
I cooked a meal in our kitchen.
211
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,675
And then you left on purpose,
knowing that
212
00:08:44,676 --> 00:08:46,708
I would not be able to sit here
without cleaning it up.
213
00:08:46,709 --> 00:08:50,431
Life is messy sometimes.
Big deal. It gets cleaned up.
214
00:08:50,432 --> 00:08:52,194
You're the one with a problem
if you can't leave
215
00:08:52,195 --> 00:08:54,116
a few dirty dishes for a couple hours.
216
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,528
O-okay, fine.
C-cam, I'm not cleaning it up.
217
00:08:56,529 --> 00:08:57,537
Great.
218
00:08:57,945 --> 00:08:58,657
I mean it.
219
00:08:58,658 --> 00:09:00,597
Perfect. You know what?
Why don't you make it bigger?
220
00:09:00,598 --> 00:09:01,883
You know what? I will.
221
00:09:01,884 --> 00:09:04,615
I-I... Okay, you know, get--get ready,
222
00:09:04,616 --> 00:09:07,069
because you are gonna come home to--
to a giant mess.
223
00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:10,356
And I will give him a giant hug
when I get there.
224
00:09:13,355 --> 00:09:15,572
Stella!
225
00:09:16,316 --> 00:09:18,719
Hey, dad. Think fast.
226
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,070
Oh. Wow. Buddy.
227
00:09:21,071 --> 00:09:23,036
I'm sorry. I told you,
I gotta change the lightbulbs
228
00:09:23,037 --> 00:09:25,293
and then help your mom
with those signatures.
229
00:09:25,823 --> 00:09:26,939
Never mind.
230
00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,524
I guess it was a stupid idea anyways.
231
00:09:30,891 --> 00:09:32,394
I've always said
that if my son thinks of me
232
00:09:32,395 --> 00:09:35,366
as one of his idiot friends,
then I've succeeded as a dad.
233
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,061
If he wants to go the wrong way
on the escalator, I'm on board.
234
00:09:38,062 --> 00:09:39,382
If he wants to go into a restaurant
235
00:09:39,383 --> 00:09:40,762
and pretend we're australian,
236
00:09:41,486 --> 00:09:44,808
toss a few shrimp on the Barbie
for me and my Joey.
237
00:09:44,809 --> 00:09:47,213
Yeah? Right? Nicole Kidman?
238
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:48,736
Men at work?
239
00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:51,882
Here we go. Take 12.
240
00:09:52,193 --> 00:09:53,277
Hey, buddy! I'm home!
241
00:09:53,278 --> 00:09:54,818
Hey, dad. Think fast.
242
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,058
Wow. You know,
my arm's starting to hurt a little.
243
00:09:59,059 --> 00:10:00,981
Really? 'Cause my face feels great.
244
00:10:00,982 --> 00:10:03,197
Come on, dad.
Let's not turn on each other.
245
00:10:03,198 --> 00:10:04,681
We could be here a while.
246
00:10:04,999 --> 00:10:07,197
Yeah. Okay. You're right.
Here we go.
247
00:10:07,198 --> 00:10:08,742
Take nine.
248
00:10:08,792 --> 00:10:10,367
You're not even trying.
249
00:10:16,405 --> 00:10:18,431
Daddy, I'm hungry.
250
00:10:18,432 --> 00:10:19,500
What do you want, honey?
251
00:10:19,501 --> 00:10:20,550
Raisins.
252
00:10:20,551 --> 00:10:22,736
All right well, go get 'em.
253
00:10:25,487 --> 00:10:27,216
It's too high, daddy.
254
00:10:27,217 --> 00:10:29,040
I can't reach.
255
00:10:29,135 --> 00:10:31,407
For the record, I am not a neat freak.
256
00:10:31,408 --> 00:10:33,525
I-in fact,
in my first long-term relationship,
257
00:10:33,526 --> 00:10:36,485
I was the messy one,
which is why she broke up with me.
258
00:10:37,293 --> 00:10:38,645
Well...
259
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,111
- No, thanks.
- Okay.
260
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:45,442
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let me show you how it's done.
261
00:10:48,886 --> 00:10:50,216
Hi. Uh, Jay Pritchett here.
262
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,830
Holidays are just around the corner.
263
00:10:51,831 --> 00:10:54,295
I'm sorry.
I don't believe in wrapping paper.
264
00:10:54,359 --> 00:10:55,751
What do you mean
you don't believe in wrapping paper?
265
00:10:55,752 --> 00:10:57,559
It's not Bigfoot. It exists.
266
00:10:57,769 --> 00:10:59,374
It's not eco-friendly. It's wasteful.
267
00:10:59,445 --> 00:11:00,405
No, not this stuff.
268
00:11:00,406 --> 00:11:03,699
This paper was made
from 100% recycled materials.
269
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,044
I don't think so.
270
00:11:06,552 --> 00:11:09,020
I can't understand what you're saying.
271
00:11:09,055 --> 00:11:10,991
She's an ugly little fresh bulldog
272
00:11:10,992 --> 00:11:13,599
with the tiny ears
and the smushy face.
273
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,581
What is so hard to understand?
274
00:11:15,582 --> 00:11:17,176
Maybe I should translate.
275
00:11:17,912 --> 00:11:20,736
I really don't like
people coming to my door unannounced
276
00:11:20,737 --> 00:11:22,654
while I'm working on my carving.
277
00:11:22,655 --> 00:11:26,478
I understand,
but a stop sign is really important.
278
00:11:28,373 --> 00:11:29,826
What exactly are you carving?
279
00:11:30,388 --> 00:11:32,461
Hello, ma'am. Do you love christmas?
280
00:11:32,462 --> 00:11:34,363
Actually, I'm jewish.
281
00:11:34,397 --> 00:11:37,749
Oh, well, then
you must appreciate a good value.
282
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,468
Oh, jeez.
283
00:11:39,502 --> 00:11:41,233
If you see her, let us know.
284
00:11:44,774 --> 00:11:47,409
Oh, my god. No, no. No, no.
285
00:11:47,443 --> 00:11:49,911
Are you kidding? Seriously?!
286
00:11:49,946 --> 00:11:53,010
See? You're not keeping your head
in the right position.
287
00:11:53,011 --> 00:11:55,850
I know that's me,
but I'm not remembering any of this.
288
00:11:55,868 --> 00:11:58,036
Oh. Those stupid neighbors!
289
00:11:58,071 --> 00:12:01,523
- What's wrong?
- I can't ask for a simple signature,
290
00:12:01,524 --> 00:12:03,058
but it's fine for them to build a house
291
00:12:03,092 --> 00:12:05,469
that looks like
the Beverly Hillbillies just moved in.
292
00:12:05,946 --> 00:12:07,095
Did you do any better?
293
00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:08,630
We came close a few times,
294
00:12:08,664 --> 00:12:11,650
but you're not talking about
the basketball, are you?
295
00:12:11,701 --> 00:12:14,315
Phil, tell me you got some signatures.
296
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,523
I have to be at City Hall in,
like, two hours.
297
00:12:16,524 --> 00:12:18,989
Oh, god. Haley, how about you?
298
00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:21,440
I've been busy with my college essay.
299
00:12:21,621 --> 00:12:22,749
Really? Where is it?
300
00:12:23,211 --> 00:12:25,212
It's in a rough,
rough draft right now.
301
00:12:25,246 --> 00:12:26,914
I've been thinking
that maybe that I should--
302
00:12:26,948 --> 00:12:29,216
Alex has been skyping
with her boyfriend since you left.
303
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,784
That's so not true!
304
00:12:30,802 --> 00:12:31,724
Thank you.
305
00:12:31,725 --> 00:12:35,063
Really, thank all of you
so much for your help.
306
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:39,082
Really?
307
00:12:39,083 --> 00:12:41,549
Sometimes those things
need to warm up, like the car.
308
00:12:41,550 --> 00:12:43,120
Phil, don't even. I have been out there,
309
00:12:43,155 --> 00:12:45,589
trying to do something good
for our community,
310
00:12:45,607 --> 00:12:48,725
because let me tell you,
change doesn't just happen.
311
00:12:48,743 --> 00:12:50,628
It is forged
312
00:12:50,629 --> 00:12:53,212
by empowered women like me
313
00:12:53,213 --> 00:12:56,212
and Norma Rae
and the lady from "The Blind Side."
314
00:12:56,213 --> 00:12:58,204
Do you know what the difference is
between me and her?
315
00:12:58,205 --> 00:13:00,468
Blind side's family had her back.
316
00:13:03,580 --> 00:13:04,412
Okay.
317
00:13:04,738 --> 00:13:06,047
Huddle up, everybody.
318
00:13:07,441 --> 00:13:08,457
Your mother's right.
319
00:13:09,175 --> 00:13:11,143
She's the quarterback of this family,
320
00:13:11,177 --> 00:13:13,479
and we need to protect her
like blind side did.
321
00:13:13,513 --> 00:13:15,311
She just said the mom was blind side.
322
00:13:15,312 --> 00:13:16,275
Well, she's confused.
323
00:13:16,276 --> 00:13:18,573
Blind side was the black kid
who played tight end.
324
00:13:18,652 --> 00:13:19,809
Offense line.
325
00:13:20,587 --> 00:13:22,808
Sorry. African-american kid.
326
00:13:30,855 --> 00:13:32,672
There she is.
327
00:13:32,706 --> 00:13:35,291
Ay! Stella!
328
00:13:35,326 --> 00:13:39,362
Ay, thank god you found my dog.
Thank you.
329
00:13:39,396 --> 00:13:41,748
This is my dog. Her name's Pinky.
330
00:13:41,782 --> 00:13:43,450
No, it's not. Her name is Stella.
331
00:13:43,484 --> 00:13:45,452
It says right here on the tag. Look.
332
00:13:45,486 --> 00:13:47,920
Uh, uh, uh, excuse me.
Hi, sweetie. What's your name?
333
00:13:47,938 --> 00:13:48,938
Blanche.
334
00:13:48,989 --> 00:13:51,212
Shut up. Mitchell would die.
335
00:13:51,213 --> 00:13:52,635
Listen, we don't know you.
336
00:13:52,636 --> 00:13:54,421
You seem like a very sweet little girl,
337
00:13:54,472 --> 00:13:56,026
and right now we're forced to--
338
00:13:56,027 --> 00:13:57,819
I can't believe I'm saying this to you--
339
00:13:58,276 --> 00:14:00,699
Rely on the kindness of strangers.
340
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:02,601
I'll sell her to you for $200.
341
00:14:02,635 --> 00:14:04,503
That's it. Give me my dog.
342
00:14:04,537 --> 00:14:05,971
Aah!
343
00:14:06,005 --> 00:14:08,073
Oh, really? The little girl thinks
because she can scream,
344
00:14:08,107 --> 00:14:10,592
she can get away with everything?
I can scream, too.
345
00:14:10,626 --> 00:14:12,127
- Aah!
- Aah!
346
00:14:12,178 --> 00:14:14,629
- Aah!
- Aah!
347
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,681
Aah!
348
00:14:16,715 --> 00:14:17,749
Aah!
349
00:14:17,784 --> 00:14:19,234
Aah!
350
00:14:19,285 --> 00:14:21,219
What the hell sound is that?
351
00:14:21,254 --> 00:14:22,811
Coyotes must've got a cat.
352
00:14:23,464 --> 00:14:25,946
Jay, can we stop now?
I'm getting hungry.
353
00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:28,139
You know what the problem is?
You're not hungry.
354
00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:29,640
I had a carrot at 3:00.
355
00:14:29,641 --> 00:14:31,051
What if you couldn't feed your family
356
00:14:31,085 --> 00:14:32,569
unless you made this next sale?
357
00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:34,393
What if you were gonna lose your house?
358
00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:38,108
I know I was pushing the kid hard,
but here's the thing--
359
00:14:38,981 --> 00:14:41,550
I'm an older dad.
I'm not gonna be around forever.
360
00:14:42,103 --> 00:14:42,894
And I'll sleep better
361
00:14:42,929 --> 00:14:45,028
knowing he's got something
to fall back on.
362
00:14:45,168 --> 00:14:46,686
Come on! Let's hit another one.
363
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,371
- I can't do it.
- What?
364
00:14:48,405 --> 00:14:51,415
- I don't have what it takes.
- What kind of talk is that?
365
00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:52,768
It's the truth, Jay.
366
00:14:52,769 --> 00:14:56,002
I'm not a great salesman.
I'm not a great businessman.
367
00:14:56,003 --> 00:14:57,788
I'm not you.
368
00:14:57,822 --> 00:14:59,673
Do you know what it's like
to see all the amazing things
369
00:14:59,707 --> 00:15:01,792
you've accomplished,
knowing I never will?
370
00:15:01,826 --> 00:15:03,827
How am I supposed to live up to you?
371
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,233
How is anyone?
372
00:15:07,648 --> 00:15:09,638
Ah, so the fish weren't biting today.
373
00:15:09,639 --> 00:15:11,446
So what? That's life.
374
00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:14,593
You tried hard,
and that's what matters.
375
00:15:14,594 --> 00:15:15,469
Yeah.
376
00:15:17,145 --> 00:15:20,507
You know,
I-I actually need some wrapping paper.
377
00:15:20,508 --> 00:15:21,692
You know where I can find some?
378
00:15:21,693 --> 00:15:24,029
- You don't have to do that.
- I want to do it.
379
00:15:24,421 --> 00:15:27,299
You'll never go broke
playing to a rich guy's ego---
380
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:28,582
Write that down.
381
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:31,927
Thanks so much, you guys.
382
00:15:31,945 --> 00:15:33,362
Maybe you should make a wish.
383
00:15:33,396 --> 00:15:34,887
Uh, hi. Oh, sorry.
384
00:15:34,888 --> 00:15:37,752
Um, I'm here for the traffic
committee meeting?
385
00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:39,422
The meeting's been adjourned.
386
00:15:39,423 --> 00:15:40,939
- Yeah. Um...
- It's my birthday.
387
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,839
I'm sorry. Happy birthday.
388
00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,591
Uh, just--someone sent me
to the wrong room,
389
00:15:44,592 --> 00:15:46,017
and you guys
don't meet again for months,
390
00:15:46,018 --> 00:15:48,824
and this is pretty much
a matter of life and death, so...
391
00:15:50,304 --> 00:15:51,628
Uh, yeah, it's fine.
392
00:15:51,629 --> 00:15:53,572
Uh, just-- if you could make it quick.
393
00:15:53,573 --> 00:15:55,189
We--it's an ice cream cake.
394
00:15:55,224 --> 00:15:57,041
- Okay.
- A-actually, it's not.
395
00:15:57,075 --> 00:15:59,060
- What?
- No.
396
00:15:59,094 --> 00:16:03,240
Really? Oh, then we--
we're not in a rush, I guess.
397
00:16:03,241 --> 00:16:05,736
At all. No rush. Go ahead.
398
00:16:05,737 --> 00:16:07,838
Great. My name is Claire Dunphy,
399
00:16:07,872 --> 00:16:09,675
and my family and I live near
400
00:16:09,676 --> 00:16:11,500
- that intersection of --
- Why not? Why not?
401
00:16:12,049 --> 00:16:14,264
The freezer was broken,
and we couldn't keep it here.
402
00:16:14,946 --> 00:16:17,648
See? This is why I ask you
to think ahead, okay?
403
00:16:17,649 --> 00:16:19,255
Do you have your 50 signatures?
404
00:16:19,256 --> 00:16:22,587
Uh, almost. I have 34, but I--
405
00:16:22,588 --> 00:16:25,180
Oh. That's the same thing.
406
00:16:26,532 --> 00:16:27,948
Wow. I'm confused.
407
00:16:27,949 --> 00:16:29,272
- It's not the same thing.
- No.
408
00:16:29,273 --> 00:16:31,828
No. 34 is not the same thing as 50,
409
00:16:31,829 --> 00:16:35,162
just like a cake is not the same thing
410
00:16:35,163 --> 00:16:37,627
- as an ice cream cake.
- Right.
411
00:16:37,628 --> 00:16:40,383
- I get that. Sir, I'm trying to
save lives here... - Mom.
412
00:16:40,384 --> 00:16:42,128
- And I can get you the rest
of the signatures. - Mom. Mom. Mom.
413
00:16:42,232 --> 00:16:44,068
Mom! Oh, my god.
What are you doing here? Girls.
414
00:16:44,069 --> 00:16:46,619
We--we went door to door
and we got you 20 more signatures.
415
00:16:48,072 --> 00:16:49,757
That is so sweet of you.
416
00:16:50,049 --> 00:16:51,915
- Well, you were freaking out
at us, so... - Okay,
417
00:16:51,916 --> 00:16:53,267
you know, let's not ruin it.
418
00:16:53,268 --> 00:16:57,035
- All right, 54 signatures.
- Okay.
419
00:16:57,036 --> 00:16:57,921
So what do you say?
420
00:16:57,922 --> 00:17:01,032
Let's start saving lives
one intersection at a time.
421
00:17:01,033 --> 00:17:01,919
Okay, thank you very much.
422
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,723
We will, uh,
take these under advisement.
423
00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:05,024
Just leave 'em here, and thank you--
424
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:07,404
Wait a minute. I know what that means.
425
00:17:07,405 --> 00:17:08,268
Oh, here we go.
426
00:17:08,269 --> 00:17:10,655
That's Washington-speak for "Get lost."
427
00:17:10,656 --> 00:17:13,061
Well, um, wow, Phil.
428
00:17:13,062 --> 00:17:14,269
What are you doing here?
429
00:17:14,564 --> 00:17:16,052
I'm your husband.
430
00:17:16,299 --> 00:17:17,468
I'm blindsiding you.
431
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:19,067
Uh...
432
00:17:19,619 --> 00:17:21,771
Your honor, permission to approach.
433
00:17:21,805 --> 00:17:24,197
- Not a judge.
- I'll allow it.
434
00:17:24,258 --> 00:17:26,537
I'll get straight to the point
because this is important,
435
00:17:26,538 --> 00:17:27,894
and that appears to be
an ice cream cake.
436
00:17:27,928 --> 00:17:29,570
Well, it's not!
437
00:17:29,730 --> 00:17:32,527
Okay. I present to you
438
00:17:32,528 --> 00:17:35,931
"Stop in the name of life."
439
00:17:35,965 --> 00:17:38,183
Kick it.
440
00:17:38,217 --> 00:17:39,818
Clive Bixby.
441
00:17:39,869 --> 00:17:44,105
Can I meet you at Harry's bar
in two minutes?
442
00:17:44,140 --> 00:17:46,908
Baby, I can do anything
in two minutes.
443
00:17:46,943 --> 00:17:48,543
- Ooh.
- Oh.
444
00:17:48,578 --> 00:17:50,078
I'll just speed through
445
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:52,047
the intersection of
Greenleaf and Bristol.
446
00:17:52,081 --> 00:17:55,503
It's easy 'cause there's no stop sign.
447
00:17:57,285 --> 00:17:58,557
I love being a kid.
448
00:17:58,558 --> 00:18:00,406
I have my whole life ahead of me.
449
00:18:05,492 --> 00:18:07,265
No!
450
00:18:07,316 --> 00:18:08,650
No!
451
00:18:08,684 --> 00:18:12,871
No!
452
00:18:14,328 --> 00:18:15,666
Okay. Well...
453
00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:16,929
Powerful.
454
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:21,867
And unconventional,
but I believe it makes our point.
455
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:23,868
So what do you say?
456
00:18:23,886 --> 00:18:27,788
Well, the kid was all right.
I didn't care for you so much.
457
00:18:27,789 --> 00:18:29,500
But if I were to give a stop sign
458
00:18:29,501 --> 00:18:32,377
- to everybody who wanted a stop sign...
- Mm-hmm.
459
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:34,967
This city would grind to a halt.
460
00:18:34,968 --> 00:18:36,194
- I understand, sir, but--
- Thank you, ma'am.
461
00:18:36,195 --> 00:18:37,747
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Allow me. Allow me.
462
00:18:37,748 --> 00:18:38,620
Ladies and gentlemen,
463
00:18:38,872 --> 00:18:40,992
- I've lived with this woman
for 20 years. - Mm-hmm.
464
00:18:40,993 --> 00:18:42,897
If she wants a stop sign...
465
00:18:43,626 --> 00:18:44,893
There's gonna be a stop sign.
466
00:18:44,928 --> 00:18:46,178
- Mm-hmm.
- He's right.
467
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,026
- Listen to the man.
- Yeah.
468
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,783
Still--no good?
469
00:18:49,784 --> 00:18:50,848
No bueno?
470
00:18:53,324 --> 00:18:54,542
I'm home!
471
00:18:54,976 --> 00:18:56,704
Oh, hey. Did you find Stella?
472
00:18:57,061 --> 00:18:58,198
- Safe and sound.
- Mm.
473
00:18:59,549 --> 00:19:01,291
Oh!
474
00:19:01,292 --> 00:19:02,096
Hey!
475
00:19:02,233 --> 00:19:05,552
I did it! I left the mess.
Aren't you proud of me?
476
00:19:05,586 --> 00:19:07,554
I sure am. Good for you!
477
00:19:07,588 --> 00:19:09,088
You know, it wasn't easy at first,
478
00:19:09,107 --> 00:19:10,690
but I just-- I took Lily to the park,
479
00:19:10,725 --> 00:19:13,170
and I completely
put it out of my mind.
480
00:19:13,494 --> 00:19:15,695
And I think
I really cleared a hurdle today.
481
00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:17,781
Oh, that's great.
I'm super proud of you,
482
00:19:17,815 --> 00:19:20,380
And you're--and you're not even
tempted to clean it up now?
483
00:19:20,381 --> 00:19:21,501
- No!
- That's great.
484
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,251
No, not now that you're home.
485
00:19:23,252 --> 00:19:25,360
So guess I'd better get started.
486
00:19:25,361 --> 00:19:26,139
Yeah.
487
00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:34,580
I don't like it.
488
00:19:35,868 --> 00:19:37,107
It's so gross.
489
00:19:37,108 --> 00:19:38,643
Oh, my god.
490
00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:39,245
What?
491
00:19:39,246 --> 00:19:41,979
I was right.
You wanted me to clean it up.
492
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:43,781
Oh, that's preposterous.
493
00:19:43,815 --> 00:19:45,749
I will not stand here
and take this from you.
494
00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:49,967
Oh, Cam!
"Life is messy. I love chaos."
495
00:19:49,968 --> 00:19:52,569
You are so full of it.
Well, you know what?
496
00:19:54,225 --> 00:19:56,527
That's all right. No worries.
Hey, come on.
497
00:19:56,561 --> 00:19:58,428
- Come on. Just embrace it.
It's life. - Oh, no!
498
00:19:58,446 --> 00:20:00,064
Oh! Okay, now that is gratuitous.
499
00:20:00,098 --> 00:20:01,782
- Oh, it's okay. No!
- That's Lily's favorite cereal.
500
00:20:01,816 --> 00:20:03,267
This is ridiculous.
501
00:20:03,301 --> 00:20:06,253
Relax! Hey, Lily! Honey, come here!
502
00:20:06,304 --> 00:20:09,139
Sweetheart,
do you want a princess hat?
503
00:20:09,174 --> 00:20:10,557
Yes! Yes! Yes!
504
00:20:10,592 --> 00:20:11,809
Okay.
505
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:13,777
Oh. Oh, okay.
That--that is enough! No!
506
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:16,346
You've proven your point.
I don't like to clean up.
507
00:20:16,347 --> 00:20:17,845
It's smelly, it's sticky,
and after I eat,
508
00:20:17,846 --> 00:20:19,487
I'm tired,
and I just want to lay down.
509
00:20:19,488 --> 00:20:21,190
And you put it off,
knowing that I would do it?
510
00:20:21,224 --> 00:20:23,091
Yes! Are you happy?
511
00:20:23,109 --> 00:20:26,061
Yes... I... Am.
512
00:20:32,742 --> 00:20:36,344
Hi. I'm Ellen Roberts
from the adoption agency.
513
00:20:36,612 --> 00:20:39,581
I'm... Here for the home visit.
514
00:20:39,615 --> 00:20:41,583
Oh!
515
00:20:42,592 --> 00:20:44,051
I might need to tweak my system.
516
00:20:48,411 --> 00:20:50,043
Hey, dad. Think fast.
517
00:20:52,533 --> 00:20:53,958
Sacagawea!
518
00:20:57,984 --> 00:20:58,996
Wait, wait, wait...
I need a break.
519
00:20:58,997 --> 00:21:01,724
Oh! John Philip Sousa!
520
00:21:01,725 --> 00:21:04,013
Oh, my... 78 views.
521
00:21:04,014 --> 00:21:05,828
We are on our way.
522
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,094
Yeah, we are.
523
00:21:07,095 --> 00:21:10,019
You know what, Lukey?
My dad was away a lot.
524
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:12,055
And I'm not gonna do that to you.
525
00:21:15,144 --> 00:21:16,793
I'm gonna be the kind of dad...
526
00:21:18,816 --> 00:21:20,595
How many more of these
do you wanna do?
527
00:21:21,677 --> 00:21:25,177
Sync by YYeTs, corrected by susanaLC
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528
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,000
www.tvsubtitles.net
529
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,000
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