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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,219 --> 00:00:01,453 Ever wondered what it would be like 2 00:00:01,472 --> 00:00:04,726 if your 11-year-old kid earned more in a week than you do in a year? 3 00:00:04,949 --> 00:00:06,250 Welcome to my world. 4 00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:08,834 I'm Tony Carter, and this is my house in Milton Keynes, 5 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,394 the one with the yellow shed. 6 00:00:10,631 --> 00:00:12,714 That's where my son, Harry, came up with Honc, 7 00:00:12,911 --> 00:00:14,471 an app to help him talk to girls. 8 00:00:14,719 --> 00:00:15,719 Used to be my shed. 9 00:00:15,799 --> 00:00:17,999 (HE SIGHS) I miss my shed. 10 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:20,412 Anyway, I don't really get social networking. 11 00:00:20,431 --> 00:00:22,265 _ If I did, I wouldn't drive 12 00:00:22,284 --> 00:00:23,177 a minibus for OAPs, 13 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:25,729 but it seems to have gone massive. 14 00:00:26,119 --> 00:00:27,719 Harry still can't talk to girls, though. 15 00:00:27,799 --> 00:00:28,999 (HE CHUCKLES) 16 00:00:29,086 --> 00:00:31,630 Now, some big tech company wants to pay millions for it. 17 00:00:31,992 --> 00:00:33,028 But will it change us? 18 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:34,239 BOTH: Cannonball! 19 00:00:34,319 --> 00:00:35,457 Nah. 20 00:00:41,119 --> 00:00:42,359 Drink, Harry. 21 00:00:43,519 --> 00:00:45,037 Let's get down to business. 22 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,209 Pocket money. 23 00:00:46,858 --> 00:00:47,898 What do you want? 24 00:00:48,056 --> 00:00:48,951 Ten. 25 00:00:50,032 --> 00:00:52,106 Bold. You broke my Mr Tea mug. 26 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:53,813 I did you a favour. 27 00:00:54,079 --> 00:00:55,639 - Four. - Eight. 28 00:00:55,719 --> 00:00:57,519 That mug was older than you, five. 29 00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:59,311 All right. Seven. 30 00:00:59,705 --> 00:01:01,644 I can't go lower than seven, Tony. 31 00:01:02,151 --> 00:01:04,287 Don't forget, I also taught you 32 00:01:04,306 --> 00:01:06,141 how to delete your internet history. 33 00:01:08,119 --> 00:01:09,495 That was useful. 34 00:01:10,024 --> 00:01:12,540 Six, rising to seven, if you take the blame 35 00:01:12,559 --> 00:01:14,334 for leaving the freezer door open last night. 36 00:01:14,759 --> 00:01:16,399 So, it was you. 37 00:01:16,479 --> 00:01:17,264 Hm. 38 00:01:17,401 --> 00:01:19,710 Seven rising to eight, if I don't tell mum 39 00:01:19,729 --> 00:01:21,689 you left the freezer door open last night. 40 00:01:22,528 --> 00:01:23,779 That's blackmail! 41 00:01:24,431 --> 00:01:25,715 That's business. 42 00:01:26,345 --> 00:01:27,405 (HE CHUCKLES) 43 00:01:27,719 --> 00:01:28,600 Deal. 44 00:01:29,399 --> 00:01:30,599 Same time next Friday? 45 00:01:30,679 --> 00:01:31,912 Yeah. I wouldn't miss it. 46 00:01:32,464 --> 00:01:34,144 Actually, Dad, I got you something. 47 00:01:34,279 --> 00:01:35,959 Oh! What'd you get me? 48 00:01:37,199 --> 00:01:38,232 Oh! 49 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:39,984 Uh... 50 00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:41,670 Thanks, son. 51 00:02:05,274 --> 00:02:08,267 Synced and corrected by LittleDuck www.addic7ed.com 52 00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:15,719 What do you think of this? Wallingford Manor. 53 00:02:15,799 --> 00:02:17,307 Am I going into care? 54 00:02:17,839 --> 00:02:19,039 That ship has sailed, love. 55 00:02:19,119 --> 00:02:21,048 Liz, we're not moving. 56 00:02:21,239 --> 00:02:24,159 All right, I know. Doesn't mean I can't do a bit of window shopping. 57 00:02:24,239 --> 00:02:25,519 We're just buying the windows? 58 00:02:25,599 --> 00:02:26,869 (SHE LAUGHS) 59 00:02:26,888 --> 00:02:28,017 Yeah, that's right, Ellie. 60 00:02:28,079 --> 00:02:29,719 We're going to buy a house in installments. 61 00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:32,700 We should get the roof first, in case it rains. 62 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,118 Good thinking, Ells. 63 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,970 Heyyy! 64 00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:39,799 Oh, Harry, what have we said about not making yourself a victim? 65 00:02:39,879 --> 00:02:42,079 It's his uniform! He's going to work with me today. 66 00:02:42,159 --> 00:02:43,439 He's 11. 67 00:02:43,519 --> 00:02:46,279 He doesn't want to ride around in a mobile old people's home. 68 00:02:46,359 --> 00:02:47,319 It smells. 69 00:02:47,406 --> 00:02:49,006 He needs to learn the value of money. 70 00:02:49,094 --> 00:02:51,884 He's just been out and bought a car worth 60 grand! 71 00:02:52,262 --> 00:02:53,582 - 80. - 80?! 72 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,719 So, it's the 4.4 SDV8 diesel? 73 00:02:56,799 --> 00:02:59,399 With Bluetooth phone connection and voice control 74 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:01,489 and follow me home lights are standard. 75 00:03:01,679 --> 00:03:03,439 Oh. No, no! 76 00:03:03,519 --> 00:03:04,839 No, you need to learn your lesson. 77 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:07,134 Now, I get paid 78 00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:09,365 24.8 grand a year. 79 00:03:09,384 --> 00:03:11,816 So, over 52 weeks that's... 80 00:03:12,039 --> 00:03:14,431 ?476.92. 81 00:03:15,239 --> 00:03:16,279 Yeah, exactly. 82 00:03:16,359 --> 00:03:18,668 So, each day I get paid... 83 00:03:19,374 --> 00:03:20,350 Um... 84 00:03:20,519 --> 00:03:21,879 - 97... - 95. 85 00:03:21,959 --> 00:03:24,039 ?95.50... 86 00:03:24,119 --> 00:03:25,626 - 30. - 32... 87 00:03:25,777 --> 00:03:26,461 38. 88 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,915 ?95.38 per day. 89 00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:33,343 Come on then. 90 00:03:38,313 --> 00:03:40,639 That Range Rover's worth God knows how many working days. 91 00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:41,931 839. 92 00:03:42,158 --> 00:03:43,039 (HE LAUGHS) 93 00:03:43,119 --> 00:03:44,917 I literally had my hand upon your bell. 94 00:03:44,936 --> 00:03:47,479 Apologies for disturbing you on a Saturday, 95 00:03:47,559 --> 00:03:50,005 but I'm afraid there's some rather important 96 00:03:50,024 --> 00:03:51,298 Honc business. (FRONT DOOR CLOSES) 97 00:03:52,169 --> 00:03:53,107 Ah. 98 00:03:54,119 --> 00:03:55,868 Alone and talking to myself. 99 00:03:56,241 --> 00:03:57,407 How very like school. 100 00:03:57,775 --> 00:03:59,587 (GROOVY MUSIC) 101 00:04:03,039 --> 00:04:05,879 HARRY: Dad, why do all of these buses have girls' names? 102 00:04:05,959 --> 00:04:08,970 Well, they're all named after inspirational women. 103 00:04:09,111 --> 00:04:11,666 There's Rosa, there's Boudica, 104 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,209 and this one's mine, Anne. 105 00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:15,057 - Frank? - Robinson. 106 00:04:15,279 --> 00:04:16,679 I had a thing for strict gingers. 107 00:04:16,759 --> 00:04:18,683 Wish my wife was as dirty as your bus. 108 00:04:19,199 --> 00:04:20,860 You're not married, Glenn. 109 00:04:22,368 --> 00:04:23,705 Glenn Stringback, 110 00:04:23,871 --> 00:04:25,495 best driver in the depot. 111 00:04:26,446 --> 00:04:28,940 You're the boy who's literally made out of money, then, are you? 112 00:04:28,959 --> 00:04:31,599 - I suppose. Not literally. - Where do you keep it all? 113 00:04:31,679 --> 00:04:34,199 - Your training bra? - Oi! Don't trash talk my son. 114 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:36,639 What's it like having a kid that's richer than you, Tone? 115 00:04:36,719 --> 00:04:38,479 Uh, better than having one I never see. 116 00:04:38,559 --> 00:04:41,844 Hey! I have supervised access to Galahad once a quarter. 117 00:04:42,399 --> 00:04:43,940 We're hitting Legoland in June. 118 00:04:43,959 --> 00:04:45,079 DAVINA: Next week's rota. 119 00:04:46,239 --> 00:04:48,907 Davina, see you're taking sexy back. 120 00:04:49,239 --> 00:04:50,439 I'm reducing your shifts. 121 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,196 The other blokes need them more than you. 122 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,879 Yeah. Me and Annie are taking over the funeral run. 123 00:04:54,951 --> 00:04:56,373 But I've always done the funeral run, 124 00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:58,540 they love having me on there. I always cheer 'em up. 125 00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:00,199 Oh, diddums! 126 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:02,519 You can dry your tears on your kid's money, mate. 127 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:04,095 The nose, not the coins. 128 00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,343 That wouldn't work. 129 00:05:05,362 --> 00:05:08,157 Glenn's got a 97% punctuality record, Tony. 130 00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:10,919 I mean, the man's obviously a complete tit, 131 00:05:10,999 --> 00:05:13,131 but you can't argue with his stats. 132 00:05:13,599 --> 00:05:15,559 Hey, Davina, what say we go through the new rota 133 00:05:15,578 --> 00:05:16,698 on the back-seat of my bus? 134 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:19,001 See if you got any shifts need filling. 135 00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:21,962 I am never going to have sex with you, Glenn. 136 00:05:23,311 --> 00:05:24,336 Cool. 137 00:05:24,496 --> 00:05:25,456 Catch you later. 138 00:05:31,239 --> 00:05:32,719 So, you see, Harry, 139 00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:35,719 if you break the cost of things down into work time hours, 140 00:05:35,799 --> 00:05:37,639 you get a sense of the true value of things. 141 00:05:42,159 --> 00:05:43,399 What are you doing? 142 00:05:43,479 --> 00:05:45,079 Oh, busted. 143 00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:47,119 Or should I say, mini-busted! 144 00:05:47,199 --> 00:05:48,688 (HE LAUGHS) 145 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:51,392 Two minutes and I'll be right back with you, I promise. 146 00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:54,719 Mr Zebrisky needs Harry to sign off on some changes to the app. 147 00:05:54,799 --> 00:05:57,359 Well, we're taking some pensioners to armchair aerobics. 148 00:05:57,439 --> 00:05:59,239 Sorry, Dad, it really can't wait. 149 00:05:59,319 --> 00:06:00,759 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 150 00:06:00,813 --> 00:06:01,999 How did you know where we were? 151 00:06:02,087 --> 00:06:03,662 Come, Watson, I have the nose 152 00:06:03,681 --> 00:06:04,798 - of a bloodhound. - Oliver! 153 00:06:05,072 --> 00:06:07,300 We've fitted a tracking device to Harry's phone. 154 00:06:07,319 --> 00:06:08,306 What?! 155 00:06:08,431 --> 00:06:09,970 You might has as well have tagged him! 156 00:06:09,989 --> 00:06:11,100 It's nothing sinister, 157 00:06:11,119 --> 00:06:13,561 we just simply need to know the whereabouts of your child 158 00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:14,540 24 hours a day. 159 00:06:17,519 --> 00:06:18,719 In the bus. We're leaving. 160 00:06:18,799 --> 00:06:19,879 But, Dad! 161 00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:23,159 Um, but Tony... Tony, really, um, 162 00:06:23,239 --> 00:06:25,879 I really will get in rather a lot of trouble if I don't... 163 00:06:27,319 --> 00:06:28,559 Tony! Tony! 164 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:29,962 OLD LADY: Driver! 165 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:33,679 Oh, sorry! Sorry! 166 00:06:34,719 --> 00:06:36,657 Yeah, I know, but we need to act rich. 167 00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:40,208 Talk about soaking up the ambiance and stuff like that. 168 00:06:40,359 --> 00:06:42,559 Can we say I'm the reason we made loads of money? 169 00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:43,839 Yeah, if you like. 170 00:06:43,858 --> 00:06:45,978 So, how did you make your millions? 171 00:06:46,249 --> 00:06:48,345 I'm a Chinese princess! 172 00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,155 But you're not Chinese. 173 00:06:50,501 --> 00:06:52,155 Oh, OK. 174 00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:55,959 What if I say I'm a child genius who invented a website? 175 00:06:56,039 --> 00:06:58,423 Or we could just say you're a Chinese princess. 176 00:07:05,919 --> 00:07:08,020 She got knocked up by One Direction. 177 00:07:08,039 --> 00:07:09,119 We don't know which one! 178 00:07:10,679 --> 00:07:12,479 So, this is the atrium. 179 00:07:12,559 --> 00:07:14,039 Oh, my God! It's massive. 180 00:07:14,119 --> 00:07:17,220 Hello! (FAKING ECHO) Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. 181 00:07:18,119 --> 00:07:19,959 - It's the echo. - Yes. 182 00:07:21,336 --> 00:07:23,345 If you'd like to follow me into the drawing room. 183 00:07:23,364 --> 00:07:24,660 There's a room just for... 184 00:07:24,679 --> 00:07:27,039 Actually, Geraldine, would you mind leaving us, 185 00:07:27,058 --> 00:07:28,599 so we could just look around on our own? 186 00:07:28,679 --> 00:07:30,540 We want to soak up the ambulance. 187 00:07:30,559 --> 00:07:32,142 We won't touch anything! 188 00:07:32,279 --> 00:07:34,356 Word Up! by Little Mix playing 189 00:07:34,375 --> 00:07:37,747 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 190 00:07:40,572 --> 00:07:42,125 Word up 191 00:07:42,534 --> 00:07:44,174 Word up 192 00:07:45,535 --> 00:07:47,365 Hey, hey 193 00:07:48,375 --> 00:07:49,700 Word up 194 00:07:50,415 --> 00:07:52,455 Everybody say 195 00:07:53,099 --> 00:07:56,330 When you hear the call you've got to get it underway 196 00:07:56,349 --> 00:07:58,095 Get it under way... Word up 197 00:07:58,175 --> 00:08:00,775 It's the code word (CHUCKLING) 198 00:08:00,794 --> 00:08:04,666 No matter where you say it, you know that you'll be heard 199 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:05,735 Word up 200 00:08:05,815 --> 00:08:08,575 It's the code word 201 00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:12,685 No matter where you say it, you know that you'll be heard. 202 00:08:15,029 --> 00:08:17,052 OLIVER: So, Harry, we thought it might be rather fun 203 00:08:17,185 --> 00:08:20,010 to have a horn sound every time you get a message on Honc. 204 00:08:20,029 --> 00:08:21,549 Let me run a few of the options. 205 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:22,670 There's this one.... (HONKING) 206 00:08:22,689 --> 00:08:23,767 Not so keen on that one. 207 00:08:23,829 --> 00:08:25,869 Mm-hm. Then there's this one. (HONKING) 208 00:08:25,888 --> 00:08:26,911 Or this. (HONKING) 209 00:08:26,930 --> 00:08:28,690 Or even this one. (HONKING) 210 00:08:28,895 --> 00:08:30,695 My catheter's coming out. 211 00:08:30,869 --> 00:08:33,309 Dad, Peter says his catheter has come out. 212 00:08:33,328 --> 00:08:34,733 Oh, right. OK. 213 00:08:34,752 --> 00:08:37,857 - Uh, this is what we call a code yellow. - What about this one? (HONKING) 214 00:08:37,876 --> 00:08:40,596 Actually, I think it's coming down my trouser leg. 215 00:08:40,615 --> 00:08:42,255 Do you like this one, Harry? (HONKING) 216 00:08:42,429 --> 00:08:43,958 Harry? Harry? 217 00:08:43,977 --> 00:08:45,777 OK, stop! (TIRES SCREECH) 218 00:08:46,795 --> 00:08:48,638 It's pooling in my shoe. 219 00:08:49,509 --> 00:08:51,575 Oliver, can we do this another time? 220 00:08:51,624 --> 00:08:53,224 Well, I... Wait. 221 00:08:53,438 --> 00:08:56,198 What is that soul-stirring sound? 222 00:08:56,266 --> 00:08:57,658 Sail Away by Enya playing 223 00:08:57,677 --> 00:09:01,378 Sail away, sail away, sail away 224 00:09:02,189 --> 00:09:05,187 (MUFFLED) Sail away, sail away, sail away... 225 00:09:05,206 --> 00:09:06,446 - Toot? - No. 226 00:09:06,669 --> 00:09:08,828 Just offering you the pipe of peace, my friend. 227 00:09:08,859 --> 00:09:10,898 Glenn, you're in the last disabled parking spot. 228 00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:13,086 - I've got a code yellow. - Code yellow? 229 00:09:13,487 --> 00:09:16,015 Nasty. That's just two away from brown. 230 00:09:16,461 --> 00:09:17,701 (HE LAUGHS) 231 00:09:17,789 --> 00:09:19,456 Of course you can have the spot, compadre. 232 00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:21,366 In an hour. 233 00:09:21,469 --> 00:09:23,549 (TONY SIGHS) (GLENN CHUCKLES) 234 00:09:23,568 --> 00:09:26,773 I guess there's just some things money can't buy. 235 00:09:27,773 --> 00:09:29,553 (PUTTING OUT HIS ELECTRONIC CIGARETTE) 236 00:09:33,509 --> 00:09:35,829 Tony, it's making the seat wet! 237 00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:42,806 I mean, my thinking is I'll just wear your dad down. 238 00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:45,789 I mean, if we could just get him to come and see this place. 239 00:09:45,808 --> 00:09:47,125 Ellie, are you having a wee? 240 00:09:48,494 --> 00:09:50,488 Fair enough. I went twice. 241 00:09:50,949 --> 00:09:52,008 There you are! 242 00:09:52,027 --> 00:09:53,804 Out of the pool, now! 243 00:09:53,858 --> 00:09:55,125 Give me a minute. 244 00:09:55,298 --> 00:09:56,810 I knew you two were time wasters. 245 00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:59,829 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 246 00:09:59,848 --> 00:10:01,448 We are not time wasters! 247 00:10:01,589 --> 00:10:04,534 Oh, come on! You can't afford this place! 248 00:10:04,553 --> 00:10:06,873 Oh, we can't, can't we? 249 00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:08,873 Fine. 250 00:10:09,597 --> 00:10:11,757 - We'll buy it. - Uh, Mum... 251 00:10:11,909 --> 00:10:13,992 Yeah. We'll buy all your houses, 252 00:10:14,175 --> 00:10:15,459 - be like Monopoly. - Mum. 253 00:10:16,664 --> 00:10:19,250 Ellie, shush. Mummy's buying a house. 254 00:10:19,506 --> 00:10:20,697 Really? 255 00:10:22,429 --> 00:10:23,629 Yeah. 256 00:10:24,180 --> 00:10:25,344 Actually, no. 257 00:10:25,672 --> 00:10:27,984 But not because we can't afford it, 258 00:10:28,389 --> 00:10:31,349 but because we haven't sold our place yet. 259 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:34,799 We'll take it. 260 00:10:35,989 --> 00:10:36,989 Great! 261 00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:38,229 (SHE LAUGHS) 262 00:10:38,309 --> 00:10:40,629 See? We're not time wasters! 263 00:10:42,617 --> 00:10:43,810 Your oldies love you. 264 00:10:43,949 --> 00:10:46,336 Roy said that you're the best thing that ever happened to him. 265 00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:48,164 Oh, thanks, pal. 266 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,160 Roy is actually very confused and thinks I'm his late wife, Mary, 267 00:10:51,179 --> 00:10:52,502 but I'll take the compliment. 268 00:10:53,447 --> 00:10:55,359 You ought to get yourself one of these, mate. 269 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:58,240 Always carry one on the dash in case of little accidents. 270 00:10:58,259 --> 00:11:00,259 Tell me you're not going to be hanging around all day. 271 00:11:00,278 --> 00:11:01,226 Nope. 272 00:11:01,307 --> 00:11:03,554 Just one drop, finish here, then bingo. 273 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,725 It's bingo. 274 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:07,505 You're doing bingo as well? 275 00:11:07,524 --> 00:11:10,884 Yeah. We both know there's only one disabled spot in Mecca. 276 00:11:11,044 --> 00:11:13,524 Looks like you're going to be eating my dust again, Carter. 277 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:14,949 Hey! 278 00:11:15,252 --> 00:11:18,092 Hey, hey, hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 279 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,710 I'm not racing you, Glenn. 280 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,440 What? Scared your kid will see you for what you really are, 281 00:11:22,459 --> 00:11:24,259 a less skilled driver of a long wheelbase 282 00:11:24,278 --> 00:11:25,678 community transport minibus? 283 00:11:25,697 --> 00:11:27,457 Drag racing's illegal in Buckinghamshire. 284 00:11:27,657 --> 00:11:30,357 Yeah, well, bingo's just over the Bedfordshire border. 285 00:11:30,930 --> 00:11:32,292 Harry. 286 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,455 Round up the pensioners. 287 00:11:34,474 --> 00:11:37,021 What does this have to do with teaching me the value of money? 288 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,200 Absolutely nothing. 289 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,354 OK. 290 00:11:41,619 --> 00:11:43,459 Winner gets the funeral run. 291 00:11:43,478 --> 00:11:45,038 And sex with the other man's wife. 292 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:46,851 Seriously, Glenn, you're not married. 293 00:11:47,033 --> 00:11:49,125 - All right, my mum. - Let's keep it professional. 294 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,740 It's your loss, mate. She's fit. 295 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,240 But you can't say anything, nowadays, can you? 296 00:11:56,259 --> 00:11:59,099 To be fair, Bernard, I think that word's always been racist. 297 00:12:03,577 --> 00:12:05,577 Come on! We're racing Glenn to Mecca Bingo! 298 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,360 ALL: Oh! 299 00:12:07,379 --> 00:12:08,836 I can't even imagine what that means. 300 00:12:08,855 --> 00:12:11,215 (HORN HONKS) Wait, my hat. 301 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:12,840 I've left my hat. 302 00:12:12,859 --> 00:12:15,179 - Oh, I'll get it. - Leave the hat. We need to go now. 303 00:12:15,198 --> 00:12:16,638 No, Harry, I must! 304 00:12:16,785 --> 00:12:17,832 After all, 305 00:12:17,906 --> 00:12:20,195 what is a man without his hat? 306 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,867 Quick sticks, Bernard, go, go, go! 307 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,400 Are you coming to bed, Mary? 308 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:26,440 (HE SHUDDERS) 309 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:29,838 Sail away, sail away, sail away. 310 00:12:30,813 --> 00:12:32,563 (ROCK PLAYING) 311 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:36,320 (TIRES SCREECH) 312 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,102 Harry! Harry, wait! Wait! 313 00:12:38,121 --> 00:12:40,149 Oh, bobbins! 314 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,157 Sail away, sail away, sail away... 315 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:49,188 (BOTH MUSIC OVERLAPPING) 316 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:56,920 (TIRES SCREECH) 317 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,946 (BOTH MUSIC OVERLAPPING) 318 00:13:00,650 --> 00:13:01,961 (ENGINES REV) 319 00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:08,116 (TIRES SCREECH) 320 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,080 This isn't the way! 321 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,960 It's a short cut. I'll show him who's the hot dog. 322 00:13:13,979 --> 00:13:15,579 It's like Top Gear! 323 00:13:15,598 --> 00:13:16,998 Come on, Dad! Can't we go quicker? 324 00:13:17,017 --> 00:13:19,250 I'm trying, son! I'm trying, I'm going as fast as I can! 325 00:13:23,722 --> 00:13:24,758 (HE SCREAMS) 326 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,240 Dad, speed bumps. 327 00:13:31,874 --> 00:13:33,328 How's your catheter, Peter? 328 00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:35,032 Peter? 329 00:13:36,019 --> 00:13:38,032 Dad! (TIRES SCREECH) 330 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:40,660 (HE SIGHS) 331 00:13:40,928 --> 00:13:41,987 Balls. 332 00:13:42,968 --> 00:13:44,528 - You all right? - Yeah. 333 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:45,971 What about them? 334 00:13:46,252 --> 00:13:47,943 Fine, still asleep. 335 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:49,843 (HE KNOCKS) 336 00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:54,744 You've rear-ended my beautiful Enya. 337 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,760 She's fitted with front and rear dash-cams. 338 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,299 This is by no means an admission of guilt, 339 00:14:05,365 --> 00:14:06,415 but, uh, 340 00:14:06,736 --> 00:14:08,142 is there any way 341 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,716 we can sort this out without going through the insurance? You know. 342 00:14:10,735 --> 00:14:13,494 No chance! Come tomorrow morning, somebody's boss 343 00:14:13,513 --> 00:14:15,775 is going to be hearing about exactly what's happened here. 344 00:14:16,318 --> 00:14:18,627 By what's happened here, I'm talking about the crash. 345 00:14:18,943 --> 00:14:21,463 When I said somebody's boss, I meant ours. 346 00:14:21,763 --> 00:14:24,174 - You got that? - Yeah, I think I got that, Glenn. 347 00:14:24,193 --> 00:14:25,315 Yeah, good. 348 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,420 Just, you know, text me if you've got any more questions. 349 00:14:28,995 --> 00:14:30,901 (DISCO MUSIC) 350 00:14:35,276 --> 00:14:37,086 Oh, Harry, hello. It's Oliver again. 351 00:14:37,345 --> 00:14:39,111 Look, I'm really, really rather lost. 352 00:14:39,323 --> 00:14:42,003 I seem to have stumbled into some sort of inner city ghetto. 353 00:14:42,022 --> 00:14:43,421 There are youths everywhere. 354 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,480 It's the most hellish storm. 355 00:14:45,499 --> 00:14:47,424 - Please, just call me. - Good afternoon! 356 00:14:47,443 --> 00:14:49,563 (HE SCREAMS) Not today, thank you. 357 00:14:52,096 --> 00:14:55,320 I hope it's Niall's. He's got the nicest clothes. 358 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,360 You do know that you're not actually pregnant, don't you, Ellie? 359 00:14:58,379 --> 00:15:00,213 What you're looking at there is mainly cheese. 360 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:02,552 Oh, yeah. Keep forgetting. 361 00:15:02,914 --> 00:15:04,994 How are you going to tell dad you sold the house? 362 00:15:05,013 --> 00:15:06,773 I'm not. Don't tell dad. 363 00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:08,155 Never tell dad. 364 00:15:08,689 --> 00:15:10,478 Oh, I've really done it this time. 365 00:15:10,497 --> 00:15:12,337 Mum, are you still looking at houses? 366 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,160 It's Rightmove. It's addictive. 367 00:15:17,971 --> 00:15:19,963 All right? All right. 368 00:15:20,275 --> 00:15:21,416 What have you done today? 369 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,205 BOTH: Nothing. 370 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:26,619 What have you done today? 371 00:15:28,732 --> 00:15:30,004 BOTH: Nothing. 372 00:15:30,092 --> 00:15:32,585 Excuse me, I'm so terribly hungry, 373 00:15:32,604 --> 00:15:34,901 but I'm afraid I don't have a reservation. 374 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,080 I don't suppose there's any way 375 00:15:36,099 --> 00:15:38,228 you could possibly accommodate one for supper? 376 00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:40,536 Cissy Strut by The Meters playing 377 00:15:46,005 --> 00:15:47,958 378 00:15:49,637 --> 00:15:51,614 (MUMBLING IN HER SLEEP) 379 00:15:57,544 --> 00:15:58,966 (FAKING THE ENGINES RUNNING) 380 00:16:00,457 --> 00:16:02,114 381 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:06,864 (HE CHUCKLES) 382 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,061 Very funny. 383 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,880 (SHE LAUGHS) What are you doing? 384 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,046 (HE MOANS) 385 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,096 Oh! Heated seats. 386 00:16:15,115 --> 00:16:17,247 Mm. Front and rear. 387 00:16:17,441 --> 00:16:19,201 That's good 'cos I thought I'd wet myself. 388 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,200 (LAUGHTER) 389 00:16:22,811 --> 00:16:26,349 Oh, you're not going to take this back, 390 00:16:26,368 --> 00:16:27,521 Tone. 391 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,802 - I am. - Honey, just think, 392 00:16:29,996 --> 00:16:32,076 all the things that we could get up to 393 00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:35,444 on a quiet lay by with that kind of boot space. 394 00:16:37,137 --> 00:16:39,069 And the seats are wipe clean. 395 00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,339 - Wipe clean? - Mm. 396 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:43,120 (CHUCKLING) 397 00:16:43,139 --> 00:16:45,739 No. No, it's the thin end of the wedge. 398 00:16:45,758 --> 00:16:48,021 So, we're just going to carry on as normal 399 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,640 with ten million quid in the bank? 400 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,160 Well, no. 401 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,442 We can, you know, start shopping at Waitrose, 402 00:16:54,546 --> 00:16:55,551 get a dishwasher? 403 00:16:55,570 --> 00:16:56,890 And buy a new house? 404 00:16:56,909 --> 00:16:59,589 Look, we built this house. 405 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,091 It was you and me, 406 00:17:03,946 --> 00:17:05,137 before all the money. 407 00:17:06,283 --> 00:17:07,677 I just don't want to move. 408 00:17:07,997 --> 00:17:10,200 OK, OK. We won't move. 409 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:13,817 (HE SIGHS) 410 00:17:18,059 --> 00:17:20,450 Why is there a sold sign in the front of our house? 411 00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:22,860 What?! What?! 412 00:17:22,940 --> 00:17:24,460 That's weird, isn't it? 413 00:17:24,587 --> 00:17:25,907 Must be next-door. 414 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,200 Very annoying. 415 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,552 I'll uh... I'll just, you know, get rid of it. 416 00:17:29,571 --> 00:17:33,341 Come Get It Bae by Pharell Williams playing 417 00:17:35,911 --> 00:17:37,317 (EXHALES DEEPLY) 418 00:17:39,662 --> 00:17:41,067 (SHE GRUNTS) 419 00:17:43,755 --> 00:17:45,130 420 00:17:50,715 --> 00:17:53,130 You know I could just pay someone to fix it? 421 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,512 Yeah. And what will that teach you? 422 00:17:55,665 --> 00:17:58,785 That if your car's broken, you can just pay someone to fix it. 423 00:17:58,804 --> 00:17:59,924 I'm going to fix it myself. 424 00:17:59,943 --> 00:18:01,247 I'll see my boss, 425 00:18:01,486 --> 00:18:03,661 I'll own up, I'll say sorry 426 00:18:03,928 --> 00:18:05,184 and I'll take what's coming. 427 00:18:07,340 --> 00:18:08,934 I should come too, you know? 428 00:18:09,132 --> 00:18:10,426 Face the music together. 429 00:18:11,337 --> 00:18:12,442 That's my boy. 430 00:18:13,652 --> 00:18:15,759 You're learning valuable life lessons. 431 00:18:17,434 --> 00:18:18,700 Dad, 432 00:18:19,372 --> 00:18:20,762 what's happening? 433 00:18:21,091 --> 00:18:22,192 We're having a moment. 434 00:18:22,911 --> 00:18:24,606 I don't want to have a moment. 435 00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,193 We're having a moment, deal with it. 436 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,309 (HE GROANS) 437 00:18:28,328 --> 00:18:29,598 OK. Moment's over 438 00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:36,481 What do you reckon? 439 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,576 I think you're getting sacked. 440 00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:43,684 Now, remember, son, whatever happens, 441 00:18:43,703 --> 00:18:45,958 we must always retain our dignity. 442 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,809 I heard there was a little incident yesterday. Is that right? 443 00:18:51,622 --> 00:18:53,614 I'm not going to lie, Davina. 444 00:18:53,930 --> 00:18:55,395 - Yeah, there was. - Tony, 445 00:18:55,716 --> 00:18:57,598 you are giving me no choice. 446 00:18:58,255 --> 00:18:59,739 I can't have unsafe drivers. 447 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,356 (GLENN CLEARS THROAT) Um... Just... It was me. 448 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:03,825 - It was my fault. - You what? 449 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,482 The crash, it was my fault. 450 00:19:06,975 --> 00:19:08,328 I backed into him. 451 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,200 Why did you do that? 452 00:19:11,210 --> 00:19:12,391 Well, uh... 453 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,934 Just jealousy. 454 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,895 Tony being a better man 455 00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:19,567 and a better driver, generally. 456 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,833 Um... I'd like him to have all his old shifts back. 457 00:19:25,051 --> 00:19:27,028 - And... - And what, Glenn? 458 00:19:27,624 --> 00:19:31,284 Just like him to have my bus, 459 00:19:31,902 --> 00:19:34,481 and, yeah, I'd like him to have my Enya. 460 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,080 - Are you sure? - Yep. 461 00:19:44,307 --> 00:19:47,267 I'll tell you what, she handles like a dream. 462 00:19:47,448 --> 00:19:48,596 I don't get it. 463 00:19:48,647 --> 00:19:51,065 Why would Glenn just give you his bus? 464 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:54,174 It's all down to a little thing called respect. 465 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,840 Can't put a price on integrity. 466 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,904 I like big butts and I cannot lie... 467 00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,818 (HARD RAP) 468 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:05,255 I'm getting very mixed messages from you, Dad. 469 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:07,576 What? The message is clear. 470 00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,080 Don't use money to solve your problems. 471 00:20:11,066 --> 00:20:14,386 But if you need to, then do. 472 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:15,771 Simple. 473 00:20:15,818 --> 00:20:16,861 474 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,520 I'm going to pay you back. How does five pound a week sound? 475 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,322 I'm going to push for seven, rising to eight. 476 00:20:22,341 --> 00:20:24,781 And that will take 307 years. 477 00:20:26,323 --> 00:20:27,683 (HE SIGHS) 478 00:20:28,081 --> 00:20:29,371 Come on, then. 479 00:20:32,721 --> 00:20:33,863 Harry? 480 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:35,560 Harry! 481 00:20:35,654 --> 00:20:37,061 _ 482 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,640 Harry! 483 00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,740 So, I've drawn up a list of rules 484 00:20:43,853 --> 00:20:45,318 which we need to live by. 485 00:20:45,504 --> 00:20:47,466 The Carter Magna Carta. 486 00:20:49,224 --> 00:20:50,365 Item one. 487 00:20:50,466 --> 00:20:53,181 Every new purchase has to be agreed 488 00:20:53,427 --> 00:20:54,455 together. 489 00:20:54,826 --> 00:20:56,626 Who votes we get a new house? 490 00:20:58,733 --> 00:21:00,380 Aw, afraid you're one vote short. 491 00:21:01,379 --> 00:21:02,499 Can I get a new bike? 492 00:21:02,649 --> 00:21:05,449 - Can we get a butler? - Can we buy a jam factory? 493 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:06,680 Harry, yes. 494 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,021 Liz, no. Ellie, why? 495 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,560 (DOORBELL RINGS) 496 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,120 Hiya! Today is the day! 497 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,623 So exciting. 498 00:21:17,642 --> 00:21:18,849 (SHE SCREAMS) 499 00:21:20,876 --> 00:21:23,603 Synced and corrected by LittleDuck www.addic7ed.com 500 00:21:23,653 --> 00:21:28,203 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34904

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