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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,833 --> 00:00:06,750 - All right, out. 2 00:00:06,833 --> 00:00:07,833 - [exhaling sharply] - Up. 3 00:00:07,916 --> 00:00:09,333 Squeeze the pelvic floor. 4 00:00:09,416 --> 00:00:10,916 - Jesus Christ, Marty. 5 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,666 You're putting an awful lot of effort into this one. 6 00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:14,083 - Ma'am, you can't-- - Help. 7 00:00:14,166 --> 00:00:15,666 - Hang on. I'll just be a second. 8 00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:20,375 - What? - I'm not doing fewer dates. 9 00:00:20,458 --> 00:00:21,875 - Well, it really wasn't a request. 10 00:00:21,958 --> 00:00:23,375 - Well, I don't know who you're gonna get. 11 00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:24,750 Did you hear about Pentatonix? 12 00:00:24,833 --> 00:00:26,833 - What? - Well, Steve Wynn found out 13 00:00:26,916 --> 00:00:28,125 about your offer somehow 14 00:00:28,208 --> 00:00:30,125 and gave them dates at the Encore. 15 00:00:30,208 --> 00:00:32,375 Huge up-front guarantee they didn't even counter. 16 00:00:32,458 --> 00:00:34,250 - Fuck. 17 00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:36,458 - Oh, take it easy on his pelvic floor. 18 00:00:36,541 --> 00:00:38,166 - You really want to do this, Deb? 19 00:00:38,666 --> 00:00:40,416 You really want to try to fuck me here? 20 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,750 - Oh, Marty. I'll never be doing that again. 21 00:00:43,833 --> 00:00:45,125 He leaves his t-shirt on, you know? 22 00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:46,833 - Oh-- [scoffs] 23 00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:49,416 That's not true. 24 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,625 - Okay. 25 00:00:50,708 --> 00:00:52,458 - ♪ I'm gonna eat that apple ♪ 26 00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:55,041 [Suzi Wu's "Eat Them Apples"] 27 00:00:56,125 --> 00:00:59,291 [alarm beeping] 28 00:00:59,375 --> 00:01:02,333 [bright jazz music] 29 00:01:02,416 --> 00:01:03,791 ♪ ♪ 30 00:01:03,875 --> 00:01:05,583 - And now for the KTQZ weather report. 31 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:09,250 Expect highs of 111 degrees in Clark County today, 32 00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:10,958 so make sure to stay out of the sun. 33 00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:12,583 - Common savers can now take advantage 34 00:01:12,666 --> 00:01:16,166 of relaxed withdrawal rules around 401(k)s. 35 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:17,916 - That's exactly right, Joe. 36 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,833 You know, a lot of people are taking losses 37 00:01:19,916 --> 00:01:22,541 and do need extra help, but actually-- 38 00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,166 [Average White Band's "Work To Do"] 39 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,708 - ♪ Sometimes it might seem ♪ 40 00:01:25,791 --> 00:01:28,000 ♪ That I'm neglecting you ♪ 41 00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:30,375 ♪ But I'd love to spend more time ♪ 42 00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,416 ♪ I got so many things to do ♪ 43 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:33,750 ♪ Oh ♪ 44 00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:34,916 ♪ I ♪ 45 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,375 ♪ I got work to do ♪ 46 00:01:37,458 --> 00:01:39,208 - Morning. - ♪ I got work, baby ♪ 47 00:01:39,291 --> 00:01:41,000 - ♪ I got work to do ♪ 48 00:01:41,083 --> 00:01:42,625 - ♪ I gotta get ♪ - ♪ Got work to do ♪ 49 00:01:42,708 --> 00:01:43,833 - ♪ Hey, baby ♪ 50 00:01:43,916 --> 00:01:47,833 ♪ I gotta get, yeah ♪ 51 00:01:47,916 --> 00:01:50,666 - He's a miracle worker. There's nothing you can't do. 52 00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:52,708 - We're thinking of doing the fuzzy slippers 53 00:01:52,791 --> 00:01:54,375 instead of the glitter wrapping paper. 54 00:01:54,458 --> 00:01:56,333 - Good, the fuzzy slippers always sell really well. 55 00:01:56,416 --> 00:01:58,291 - And can we get color options on that too? 56 00:01:58,375 --> 00:01:59,541 - Of course. 57 00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:01,000 - ♪ Work, work ♪ 58 00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:05,583 [alarm beeping] 59 00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:19,458 [distant car horns blaring] 60 00:02:19,541 --> 00:02:22,583 [warm bluesy music] 61 00:02:22,666 --> 00:02:23,958 [elevator chimes] 62 00:02:24,041 --> 00:02:26,708 [indistinct chatter] - Excuse me. 63 00:02:26,791 --> 00:02:29,916 [baby crying] Sorry. 64 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,958 ♪ ♪ 65 00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:35,833 [indistinct chatter] 66 00:02:35,916 --> 00:02:43,083 ♪ ♪ 67 00:03:03,625 --> 00:03:06,500 - The non-smoking section's over there. 68 00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:08,916 - Thanks. 69 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,875 - Can I get your attention please? 70 00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,000 All casino employees are reminded 71 00:03:13,083 --> 00:03:15,416 to submit timecards by 5:00 p.m. 72 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:16,875 All timecards must be turned in by 5:00 p.m... 73 00:03:16,958 --> 00:03:18,500 [phone vibrating] 74 00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:19,750 To be paid in a timely manner. 75 00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:21,041 - Hey. - Hey, beautiful. 76 00:03:21,125 --> 00:03:22,583 I keep thinking about last night. 77 00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:24,083 I--I didn't think it was gonna be so ticklish but-- 78 00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,916 - What the fuck? - Wait, who is this? 79 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,166 - Ava, your client. You called me. 80 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,166 - Kayla! 81 00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:31,791 Oh, yes. 82 00:03:31,875 --> 00:03:33,416 You are next on my call sheet. 83 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,333 I was about to call you but, um, how're you doing? 84 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,500 How's Vegas? 85 00:03:36,583 --> 00:03:37,625 Are you and Deborah Vance 86 00:03:37,708 --> 00:03:38,833 Thelma and Louise yet or what? 87 00:03:38,916 --> 00:03:40,583 - No, but, uh, but I do want 88 00:03:40,666 --> 00:03:41,791 to drive off a cliff. 89 00:03:41,875 --> 00:03:43,166 How long do I have to do this? 90 00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:44,333 - Well, it's been three days, 91 00:03:44,416 --> 00:03:45,750 so longer than that. 92 00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:47,500 - I don't even know what I'm doing here. 93 00:03:47,583 --> 00:03:49,333 - You're there to write material for Deborah's show, 94 00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:50,708 you know, punch ups for appearances 95 00:03:50,791 --> 00:03:51,958 and things like QVC, and, you know, 96 00:03:52,041 --> 00:03:53,458 any personal joke writing-- 97 00:03:53,541 --> 00:03:54,625 - Yeah, I know the literal job description. 98 00:03:54,708 --> 00:03:56,958 I signed a 470-page NDA. 99 00:03:57,041 --> 00:03:58,291 - Seems right. - [laughs] 100 00:03:58,375 --> 00:03:59,375 God! 101 00:03:59,458 --> 00:04:00,958 [laughing continues] 102 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,958 Too much. - Okay, Kayla. 103 00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:04,458 You're supposed to be on mute. 104 00:04:04,541 --> 00:04:06,875 - Oh, I am. I just pushed the thing, bud. 105 00:04:06,958 --> 00:04:08,208 - Okay, bud. We can hear you. 106 00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:09,541 So you're definitely not. 107 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:10,666 - Oh, don't worry. I'm not listening. 108 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,291 I'm laughing at a meme. 109 00:04:12,375 --> 00:04:13,958 It's like a--there's a Minion with a big eyeball. 110 00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:15,166 - You're supposed to be listening. 111 00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:16,458 We talked about this. 112 00:04:16,541 --> 00:04:17,625 You listen and you take notes, right? 113 00:04:17,708 --> 00:04:18,833 - Yeah. So okay. 114 00:04:18,916 --> 00:04:19,958 Where's my notebook? 115 00:04:20,041 --> 00:04:21,333 Hey, I need to leave early. 116 00:04:21,416 --> 00:04:23,166 I have an adult ballet recital. 117 00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:25,625 Like, just, I can't miss this one because I missed last week. 118 00:04:25,708 --> 00:04:27,000 It just wouldn't make sense. 119 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,166 The whole thing will be off. 120 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:29,500 - Should I leave you two alone? 121 00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:30,750 - Kayla, can you jump off, please? 122 00:04:30,833 --> 00:04:32,333 - No problemo. - Thank you. 123 00:04:32,416 --> 00:04:34,625 Testing, Kayla, testing, testing. 124 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,375 Okay. - You need to fire her. 125 00:04:36,458 --> 00:04:37,750 - I would if I could but 126 00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:39,208 her father owns half the company 127 00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:41,166 so she's essentially my assistant and my boss. 128 00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:43,333 - How does everyone have rich parents except for me? 129 00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:44,750 - Look. Just hang in there, okay? 130 00:04:44,833 --> 00:04:46,750 Every job has a learning curve, right? 131 00:04:46,833 --> 00:04:48,333 When I was 15, I took a summer job at Cinnabon-- 132 00:04:48,416 --> 00:04:49,416 - Jimmy, I gotta go. 133 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,500 If I don't keep moving, 134 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:52,000 I remember that I'm here. 135 00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:54,750 - Are you there? You don't say goodbye. 136 00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:56,208 She doesn't say goodbye. 137 00:04:56,291 --> 00:04:57,750 All right, Kayla, do you want to come in here? 138 00:04:57,833 --> 00:04:59,500 Let's talk about this dance. 139 00:05:00,083 --> 00:05:02,208 - I really like the jade. - I do too. 140 00:05:02,291 --> 00:05:03,500 But normals like subway tile. 141 00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:05,375 - [laughs] Oh, God, they do. 142 00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:07,500 I don't know, Marcus. It's your flip. 143 00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:09,875 - What's going on here? - Marcus flips properties 144 00:05:09,958 --> 00:05:11,708 on the side, like they do on HDTV. 145 00:05:11,791 --> 00:05:12,875 - I don't know. I'm torn. 146 00:05:12,958 --> 00:05:15,291 - Let's ask her. Jade or white? 147 00:05:16,791 --> 00:05:18,833 - Uh, I... 148 00:05:18,916 --> 00:05:20,791 think the white. 149 00:05:21,791 --> 00:05:24,541 - Let's go with the jade. - Yeah, absolutely. 150 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,708 Let me know how it goes. 151 00:05:25,791 --> 00:05:27,333 - So, do you think today 152 00:05:27,416 --> 00:05:29,833 you'll have time to look over what I've been working on? 153 00:05:29,916 --> 00:05:32,500 - Sure, just give me a minute. - All right. 154 00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:34,416 - I noticed you weren't at my show last night. 155 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,875 - Oh, sorry. I came the night before. 156 00:05:36,958 --> 00:05:38,625 I figured it was probably the same. 157 00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:40,500 Should I be coming-- [machine hissing] 158 00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:43,166 - Oh, crap! - I'll get it. 159 00:05:43,250 --> 00:05:45,416 - No, no, no, you're busy. I'll get it. 160 00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,750 [grunts] 161 00:05:51,833 --> 00:05:54,041 [sighs] Excuse me. 162 00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:58,916 [metal clatters] 163 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,375 [grunts] 164 00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:12,125 There we go. 165 00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:13,750 Mm. 166 00:06:24,958 --> 00:06:27,125 [sighs deeply] 167 00:06:28,833 --> 00:06:30,208 Okay, let's go. 168 00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:33,375 [Freddi and Henchi's "Cartoon People"] 169 00:06:33,458 --> 00:06:37,166 ♪ ♪ 170 00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:38,541 Hm. 171 00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:40,791 - Is that a good hm? 172 00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:42,375 - No. 173 00:06:43,041 --> 00:06:45,791 Most of these are unusable but, um, 174 00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:47,208 this part works. 175 00:06:51,166 --> 00:06:53,458 - Oh, cool. 176 00:06:53,541 --> 00:06:54,958 The set up. 177 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,291 - You a lesbian? 178 00:07:01,375 --> 00:07:03,208 - Um... 179 00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:04,708 Not sure you can ask me that. 180 00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,083 - Oh. What? 181 00:07:06,166 --> 00:07:07,333 Someone's gonna show up and arrest me? 182 00:07:07,416 --> 00:07:08,791 - Since you're my employer, 183 00:07:08,875 --> 00:07:10,916 it is illegal. 184 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,166 But... 185 00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:15,125 If you're genuinely curious. 186 00:07:15,208 --> 00:07:17,291 I used to only hook up with men, 187 00:07:17,375 --> 00:07:19,500 but when I masturbated, I thought about women. 188 00:07:19,583 --> 00:07:21,541 So, then in college, I finally hooked up 189 00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:23,333 with this amazing TA, Phoebe. 190 00:07:23,416 --> 00:07:25,333 And I realized that I could connect 191 00:07:25,416 --> 00:07:26,833 more emotionally with women, 192 00:07:26,916 --> 00:07:30,125 which led to deeper sexual experiences. 193 00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:33,000 But sometimes I do still need penetrative sex 194 00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:34,916 with a dick to come. 195 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,333 But I don't know. 196 00:07:36,416 --> 00:07:38,000 Maybe I was just conditioned by the porn 197 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,750 that was fed to me by the algorithm, you know? 198 00:07:41,750 --> 00:07:44,750 So anyway, I'm bi. 199 00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:47,916 - Jesus Christ! 200 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,125 I was just wondering why you were dressed 201 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:50,958 like Rachel Maddow's mechanic. 202 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:53,708 - Great. So, the jokes? 203 00:07:53,791 --> 00:07:55,083 You didn't like any? 204 00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:56,666 - They're not jokes. 205 00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:58,416 I mean, 206 00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,666 they're, like, thought poems? 207 00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:04,791 "I had a horrible nightmare that I got a voice mail." 208 00:08:07,291 --> 00:08:08,291 What? 209 00:08:08,375 --> 00:08:09,625 - It's funny because 210 00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:11,166 voice mails are annoying. 211 00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,208 It's, like, just text. 212 00:08:13,291 --> 00:08:15,000 - First of all, if you start a sentence 213 00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:17,750 with "it's funny because," then it's probably not. 214 00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:20,333 And second, jokes need a punchline. 215 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,208 - Well, in my opinion, 216 00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:24,791 traditional joke structure is very male. 217 00:08:24,875 --> 00:08:27,250 It's so focused on the ending. It's all about the climax. 218 00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:28,625 - Oh, look who's talking. 219 00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:30,791 I just got a TED Talk about yours. 220 00:08:30,875 --> 00:08:33,416 - Deborah, Kiki's here. - Oh, great. 221 00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,833 Thanks, Josefina. 222 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,250 - Sorry, are we done? What's happening? 223 00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:38,333 - I'm playing blackjack. 224 00:08:38,416 --> 00:08:39,833 I don't know what you're doing. 225 00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:41,583 - Why don't you just play at the casino? 226 00:08:41,666 --> 00:08:44,416 - Oh, casinos are disgusting. People smoke indoors. 227 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:46,750 - Yeah, I know. You make me live in one. 228 00:08:46,833 --> 00:08:49,000 - Ha! - Hi, Deborah. 229 00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:50,958 - Hello. - Oh, cute hairdo. 230 00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:53,958 - Oh, thank you. - How's our little Luna? 231 00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:55,750 - She's amazing! 232 00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:57,625 We just had her three-year check-up. 233 00:08:57,708 --> 00:08:59,708 The doctor said her arms and legs are super long. 234 00:08:59,791 --> 00:09:01,583 I think she's going to be a hip-hop dancer. 235 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,375 - [laughs] Oh, good for her. 236 00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:06,083 Kiki, Ava. Deal her in. 237 00:09:06,166 --> 00:09:07,333 - Oh. Oh, no. 238 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:08,625 I don't really know how to play. 239 00:09:08,708 --> 00:09:11,375 - Then why'd you follow me in here? 240 00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:13,666 - Your call. 241 00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:16,166 - Uh, hit me? 242 00:09:16,250 --> 00:09:18,291 - You just moved here, huh? 243 00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:21,958 Well, Vegas fucking slaps! You're gonna love it. 244 00:09:22,041 --> 00:09:23,291 - Not if she keeps playing like that. 245 00:09:23,375 --> 00:09:25,166 - Okay. Any, um-- 246 00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:26,583 Any guidance for me? 247 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,666 - Always hit on 16 and double down on 11. 248 00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:31,375 - Hilarious. I mean about the jokes. 249 00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:33,041 Anything in particular you want? 250 00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:34,208 - Yes, there should be more of them, 251 00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:35,333 and they should be funny. 252 00:09:35,416 --> 00:09:37,458 - Blackjack! Deborah! 253 00:09:37,541 --> 00:09:39,458 - Yay, the Blackjack! 254 00:09:39,541 --> 00:09:41,125 The Blackjack! - Oh, my God. 255 00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:43,083 - Thanks for the ride. - Yeah, no problem. 256 00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,583 It's on the way to my next gig. 257 00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:46,500 [car chirps, engine turns over] 258 00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:48,791 - Uh, nice car. 259 00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:50,416 - So sick, right? 260 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:53,583 Whenever Deborah gets a new Rolls, I get the old one. 261 00:09:53,666 --> 00:09:55,833 This is my third. 262 00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:01,000 - I cannot believe she gave you this car. 263 00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:02,833 So far all I've gotten is emotional abuse. 264 00:10:02,916 --> 00:10:04,166 Today she asked me about the-- 265 00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:05,291 - Okay, that sounds like a bummer, 266 00:10:05,375 --> 00:10:06,416 but I've got to stop you. 267 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:07,625 I've got to sing the chorus 268 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,166 whenever this song comes on. 269 00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,000 - ♪ I needed to lose you to find me ♪ 270 00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:12,416 - God. 271 00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:13,791 [singing along to radio] ♪ This dancing was ♪ 272 00:10:13,875 --> 00:10:17,000 ♪ Killing me softly ♪ 273 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:20,166 ♪ I needed to hate you to love me ♪ 274 00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:21,208 ♪ Yeah ♪ 275 00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:23,125 ♪ To love, love, yeah ♪ 276 00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:25,000 ♪ To love, love, yeah ♪ 277 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,541 ♪ To love, yeah ♪ 278 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:30,458 ♪ I needed to lose you to love me, yeah ♪ 279 00:10:30,541 --> 00:10:32,208 Oh, okay. 280 00:10:32,291 --> 00:10:33,541 You were complaining? 281 00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:35,041 - Sorry. 282 00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:37,666 I-I know I'm lucky to have a job, genuinely, I do. 283 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:40,500 I just, I don't understand why she's making it so hard. 284 00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:42,833 - Listen, Deborah's a hustler like me. 285 00:10:42,916 --> 00:10:44,208 You see this dope shirt? 286 00:10:44,291 --> 00:10:46,041 This was hers. She gave it to me. 287 00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:47,916 - Deborah had a glitter crop top? 288 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,250 - Uh-uh, no. 289 00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:51,041 I had to cut off the sleeves and trim it. 290 00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:54,791 Point is, her shit is ugly, but the quality is there. 291 00:10:54,875 --> 00:10:57,625 So if you can't make it good, that is on you. 292 00:10:58,541 --> 00:11:00,000 Oh, and don't kill me, 293 00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:02,250 but I'm gonna play that song two more times. Eeh. 294 00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:04,500 - Oh, this is a playlist? - Uh-huh. 295 00:11:04,583 --> 00:11:06,333 - Then why did I have to stop talking? 296 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,333 - Honey, when you're on shuffle, 297 00:11:08,416 --> 00:11:09,916 any song can play at any moment 298 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,833 and it is through that randomness 299 00:11:11,916 --> 00:11:14,083 that we can totally receive meaning. 300 00:11:14,166 --> 00:11:16,333 ♪ ♪ 301 00:11:16,416 --> 00:11:20,416 ♪ I needed to lose you to find me ♪ 302 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:22,583 I can see it in your eyes, you wanna. 303 00:11:22,666 --> 00:11:25,333 both: ♪ Killing me softly ♪ 304 00:11:25,416 --> 00:11:28,875 ♪ I needed to hate you to love me, yeah ♪ 305 00:11:28,958 --> 00:11:30,208 - Oh, my God. 306 00:11:30,291 --> 00:11:31,750 both: ♪ To love, love, yeah ♪ 307 00:11:31,833 --> 00:11:34,250 ♪ To love, love, yeah, to love, yeah ♪ 308 00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:35,708 - Yeah! 309 00:11:35,791 --> 00:11:39,333 both: ♪ I needed to lose you to love me ♪ 310 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,083 - Uh, I'm sorry. 311 00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:46,583 I'm gonna-- 312 00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:48,208 - Really? - Yeah. 313 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,791 - Oh, watch the drink. 314 00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,250 - Sorry. 315 00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,916 - Jesus. 316 00:11:55,666 --> 00:11:58,041 [slot machines chiming] 317 00:11:58,125 --> 00:11:59,958 - I'm sorry. I-I can't write in my room. 318 00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:01,958 My neighbors are having, like, performatively loud sex 319 00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:03,291 and the business center is essentially 320 00:12:03,375 --> 00:12:04,791 like a fucking coke den. 321 00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:07,791 - Okay. 322 00:12:07,875 --> 00:12:09,208 - Hey, can I get you a drink? 323 00:12:09,291 --> 00:12:12,166 - Oh, yes. Um, can I get a vodka soda? 324 00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,291 - Sure. - Yeah. 325 00:12:13,375 --> 00:12:14,500 - Oh, drinks are on the house. 326 00:12:14,583 --> 00:12:16,833 - Oh, can I get two? [laughs] 327 00:12:16,916 --> 00:12:18,333 - Oh, I'll get you three, sweetie. 328 00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:19,458 [slot machine chimes] 329 00:12:19,541 --> 00:12:21,041 - Yes! 330 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,541 Do you want me to show you how to play? 331 00:12:23,625 --> 00:12:25,791 - Sure, yeah. - Well, you have to match up 332 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:27,791 the hamsters with the tabby cats. 333 00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:29,125 - The tabby cats. 334 00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,333 - There you go. - Thank you. 335 00:12:31,416 --> 00:12:33,375 - Oh, enjoy. - You too. 336 00:12:33,458 --> 00:12:34,541 - Thanks. - Enjoy? 337 00:12:34,625 --> 00:12:35,666 You too? 338 00:12:36,291 --> 00:12:38,083 [Billy Preston's "Nothing From Nothing"] 339 00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:42,958 - ♪ Nothing from nothing leaves nothing ♪ 340 00:12:43,041 --> 00:12:44,458 - Oh, my God, yes! - Yes! 341 00:12:44,541 --> 00:12:46,666 - ♪ If you wanna be with me ♪ 342 00:12:46,750 --> 00:12:48,000 - Chill, chill. 343 00:12:48,083 --> 00:12:49,166 - Christina. - Whoo! 344 00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:50,333 - Have fun at Disney World. 345 00:12:50,416 --> 00:12:52,000 Yeah, um... 346 00:12:52,083 --> 00:12:55,166 This game is such fucking capitalist bullshit. 347 00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:56,916 I won! Ah! 348 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,458 [laughs] 349 00:12:58,541 --> 00:13:02,125 - ♪ 'Cause that minus is too low to see ♪ 350 00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:03,458 ♪ ♪ 351 00:13:03,541 --> 00:13:06,833 [rhythmic thumping] 352 00:13:10,291 --> 00:13:13,500 [moaning] 353 00:13:15,458 --> 00:13:16,541 [Freddi and Henchi/ The Soulsetters 354 00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:17,708 "Things are Changing"] 355 00:13:17,791 --> 00:13:20,541 - ♪ Things are changing ♪ 356 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:25,000 ♪ Things are changing ♪ 357 00:13:25,083 --> 00:13:27,750 ♪ It's looking good ♪ 358 00:13:27,833 --> 00:13:28,833 ♪ ♪ 359 00:13:28,916 --> 00:13:31,583 ♪ It's looking good ♪ 360 00:13:31,666 --> 00:13:34,708 ♪ Things are changing, baby ♪ 361 00:13:34,791 --> 00:13:36,208 - Yes? 362 00:13:36,291 --> 00:13:39,041 - Oh, um, I was just wondering if you got a chance 363 00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:41,666 to read any of the new stuff I sent for tonight? 364 00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:44,375 - I did. 365 00:13:44,458 --> 00:13:46,166 - And? 366 00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:47,416 - Better. 367 00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:49,375 - Oh. Great. 368 00:13:49,458 --> 00:13:52,375 Um, it'll be great to hear them with a crowd. 369 00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:54,458 - Fifteen, Ms. Vance. - Thank you. 370 00:13:54,541 --> 00:13:55,750 [laughter] 371 00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:59,375 - Oh, but I do love my wine, though. 372 00:13:59,458 --> 00:14:01,750 Now, I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic. 373 00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:02,750 I'd slur it. 374 00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:04,291 [laughter] 375 00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:06,500 But my idea of a perfect evening 376 00:14:06,583 --> 00:14:09,125 is a glass of wine, 377 00:14:09,208 --> 00:14:11,750 and if I'm feeling a little frisky, 378 00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:13,416 I'll pop in an adult film. 379 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,041 [laughter] 380 00:14:15,125 --> 00:14:16,583 But here's the trick. 381 00:14:16,666 --> 00:14:19,083 I watch it in reverse. 382 00:14:19,166 --> 00:14:20,583 [laughter] 383 00:14:20,666 --> 00:14:23,791 Because then it's about being rewarded for sex. 384 00:14:23,875 --> 00:14:25,416 With a pizza! 385 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,125 [laughter] 386 00:14:27,208 --> 00:14:29,458 [bombastic brass music] 387 00:14:29,541 --> 00:14:31,958 [cheers and applause] 388 00:14:32,041 --> 00:14:34,250 Have a good night. 389 00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:35,916 - You said my jokes were better. 390 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:38,875 - They were. - Well, you didn't use any. 391 00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:42,583 - They were better because you stole them from yourself. 392 00:14:42,666 --> 00:14:44,250 Half were from your film script. 393 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:47,083 The others were clearly dated rehashes you threw in. 394 00:14:47,166 --> 00:14:48,750 - You read my script? - Yes. 395 00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:51,041 I had Jimmy send me everything you've ever written. 396 00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:52,458 I do my research. 397 00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:55,041 So the next time you try to half-ass something, 398 00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:56,666 I-- 399 00:14:56,750 --> 00:14:59,708 [upbeat music] 400 00:14:59,791 --> 00:15:00,958 ♪ ♪ 401 00:15:01,041 --> 00:15:02,291 Son of a-- 402 00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:04,750 - There she is. - How dare you! 403 00:15:04,833 --> 00:15:06,125 - Well, if I don't have Pentatonix, 404 00:15:06,208 --> 00:15:07,750 I've got to promote you, right? 405 00:15:07,833 --> 00:15:09,458 And the truth is, 406 00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:12,833 is you don't make me nearly as much money as lobster tail. 407 00:15:12,916 --> 00:15:15,250 But if it's any consolation, 408 00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:19,458 I bet you taste just as good dipped in butter. 409 00:15:19,541 --> 00:15:26,708 ♪ ♪ 410 00:15:38,625 --> 00:15:40,333 [knocks] 411 00:15:40,416 --> 00:15:42,500 - Um, I just--I wanted to say 412 00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:45,833 I'm sorry that I gave you 413 00:15:45,916 --> 00:15:49,166 up-cycled material yesterday. 414 00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:50,333 [sighs] 415 00:15:50,416 --> 00:15:53,083 The crowd loved the show last night. 416 00:15:53,166 --> 00:15:55,125 You might wanna lose that joke 417 00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:56,875 about Anna Nicole Smith though, 418 00:15:56,958 --> 00:15:59,583 as she is... 419 00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:01,708 long dead. 420 00:16:01,791 --> 00:16:03,916 - Let me get this straight. 421 00:16:05,458 --> 00:16:08,583 You not only don't write me anything funny 422 00:16:08,666 --> 00:16:10,791 or even original, 423 00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:15,166 and now you're telling me what jokes not to do? 424 00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:18,166 - I'm sorry. [scoffs] 425 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:19,708 I think it's just been hard 426 00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:22,416 to write in your voice when I don't know you. 427 00:16:25,541 --> 00:16:27,666 - You know what? 428 00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:29,208 You make a good point. 429 00:16:29,291 --> 00:16:31,750 Why don't we 430 00:16:31,833 --> 00:16:33,375 take a little drive? 431 00:16:33,458 --> 00:16:35,083 You can get to know me better on a little road trip. 432 00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:37,166 - Okay, cool. Wait. 433 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:38,541 What about-- what about the show tonight? 434 00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:39,833 - Ah! We'll be back in time. 435 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:40,958 I'll speed. 436 00:16:41,041 --> 00:16:43,000 [groovy guitar music] 437 00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:46,166 - Um, what do you think about the climate crisis? 438 00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:48,208 In theory, I'm an environmentalist 439 00:16:48,291 --> 00:16:51,000 but in practice, paper straws taste like a cardboard worm. 440 00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:52,250 - Uh-huh. 441 00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:54,916 Hey, why don't you turn on the radio? 442 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,333 - All right. 443 00:16:57,375 --> 00:17:00,583 - Whoa, do you have, like, huge hands? 444 00:17:01,666 --> 00:17:04,333 - Um, I think they're a normal size. 445 00:17:04,416 --> 00:17:07,166 - No, no. They look like catcher's mitts. 446 00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:09,500 Your manicurist must use a paint roller. 447 00:17:09,583 --> 00:17:11,083 - Okay. You know, some people think 448 00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:12,333 it's pretty cheap to make fun 449 00:17:12,416 --> 00:17:13,750 of other people's appearances. 450 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,125 - Yeah. 451 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,791 Ugly people. 452 00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:19,833 ♪ ♪ 453 00:17:19,916 --> 00:17:21,125 - Sorry. 454 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:22,500 Had I known the drive was this long, 455 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,041 I would have peed before we left. 456 00:17:24,125 --> 00:17:25,791 - All right, well, just hurry. - Okay. 457 00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,791 - Oh, wait, while you're in there, you might as well 458 00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:31,125 get me a Diet Coke 459 00:17:31,208 --> 00:17:32,625 from the fountain. 460 00:17:32,708 --> 00:17:35,333 - Okay! Jesus. 461 00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:36,833 [grunts] 462 00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,041 Oh. 463 00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,625 Hey. Do you have a reusable cup? 464 00:18:00,875 --> 00:18:02,291 [grunts] Here you go. 465 00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:03,833 - Where's the change? 466 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,291 - Oh, it was only, like, 27 cents or something. 467 00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:07,666 - Go back and get it. 468 00:18:07,750 --> 00:18:09,833 - [laughs] 469 00:18:12,583 --> 00:18:15,125 Okay. 470 00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:17,750 [sighs] 471 00:18:17,833 --> 00:18:20,166 I should've finished college. 472 00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:23,208 [Black Ice's "Shakedown"] 473 00:18:23,291 --> 00:18:30,458 ♪ ♪ 474 00:18:34,833 --> 00:18:36,375 - ♪ Get up, get on the floor ♪ 475 00:18:36,458 --> 00:18:38,541 ♪ Put your hands up ♪ 476 00:18:38,625 --> 00:18:41,333 ♪ It's a love (love) shakedown ♪ 477 00:18:41,416 --> 00:18:42,583 - Okay. 478 00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:44,375 You see that antique shop there? 479 00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:47,333 - Uh, yeah. - Okay. 480 00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:49,041 I want you to go in there, 481 00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:51,791 and I want you to buy 482 00:18:51,875 --> 00:18:54,416 this for me. 483 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,333 - I'm sor--I'm sorry, what? 484 00:18:56,416 --> 00:18:57,750 What is--what is that? 485 00:18:57,833 --> 00:18:59,791 - That is a Jean Royere pepper shaker. 486 00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:01,708 And I want it. But I can't go in. 487 00:19:01,791 --> 00:19:03,625 He'll gouge me. You'll get a much better deal. 488 00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:05,375 - Oh, my God. 489 00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:07,125 That's why we drove all the way out here. 490 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:08,416 You--you didn't want to spend time 491 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:09,875 getting to know each other. 492 00:19:09,958 --> 00:19:12,458 You just wanted a pepper shaker mule. 493 00:19:12,958 --> 00:19:14,375 - Okay, when you go in there, 494 00:19:14,458 --> 00:19:16,000 don't make a beeline for the pepper shaker 495 00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:17,625 because he's gonna know you want it, 496 00:19:17,708 --> 00:19:19,541 so, you know, kind of casually browse, you know. 497 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:21,041 Look at a couple of other things 498 00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:23,166 but then, when you do, 499 00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,750 offer him five 500 00:19:24,833 --> 00:19:27,500 but go up to ten if you have to. 501 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,375 - I'm sorry. Is this $10,000? 502 00:19:30,458 --> 00:19:33,750 For--for a pepper shaker? W-- 503 00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:36,125 - Royère never made tableware. 504 00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:38,250 It's very rare. - [sighs] 505 00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:40,958 - Okay, now don't mention my name. 506 00:19:41,041 --> 00:19:43,083 Oh, and tell him it's personal to you. 507 00:19:43,166 --> 00:19:45,916 He loves a story. 508 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,333 Hurry up! 509 00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:55,250 - I hope you're donating regularly 510 00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:56,541 to Planned Parenthood. 511 00:19:56,625 --> 00:19:58,500 - Go! [car horn blares] 512 00:20:01,916 --> 00:20:03,250 [door thuds, bell jingles] 513 00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:04,416 - Well, hi there. 514 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,375 - Hi, how's it goin'? 515 00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:08,916 - Well, can I help you find something special? 516 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,333 - Um, no, I'm just browsing. 517 00:20:12,416 --> 00:20:15,458 [light classical music playing in store] 518 00:20:15,541 --> 00:20:17,375 ♪ ♪ 519 00:20:17,458 --> 00:20:19,458 [whistles] 520 00:20:23,916 --> 00:20:26,791 Um, how much is this? 521 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:28,458 - Well, look at you. 522 00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:30,583 You have great taste. - [laughs] 523 00:20:30,666 --> 00:20:31,833 - That's one of the most valuable pieces 524 00:20:31,916 --> 00:20:32,833 in the store. 525 00:20:32,916 --> 00:20:35,375 - Oh, mm, yeah. That's-- 526 00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:37,041 - It's French, 527 00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:39,416 Sevres porcelain, signed, 528 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:42,250 early 19th century, with exceptional provenance. 529 00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:43,875 It was purchased by a member 530 00:20:43,958 --> 00:20:45,375 of the Obenchain-McMillan family 531 00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:47,000 at auction in 1930. 532 00:20:47,083 --> 00:20:50,208 - Cute. - It's listed for $32,000 533 00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:54,250 but I could do 28 today. 534 00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:55,958 - Oh, mm, okay. 535 00:20:56,041 --> 00:20:57,708 Maybe. 536 00:20:57,791 --> 00:20:59,583 Maybe. 537 00:20:59,666 --> 00:21:02,666 Oh, um, you know, this just occurred to me. 538 00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:06,416 Do you have a pepper shaker? 539 00:21:07,416 --> 00:21:09,958 - A single pepper shaker? 540 00:21:10,041 --> 00:21:13,708 - Yeah. I love them. 541 00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:19,166 - I did list one, 542 00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:21,125 just today. 543 00:21:25,416 --> 00:21:27,000 - Yep, yeah, wow. 544 00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:29,541 That's so nice. 545 00:21:29,625 --> 00:21:32,375 Uh, would you do 5,000? 546 00:21:34,458 --> 00:21:36,166 - Are you here for Deborah Vance? 547 00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:37,541 - Yes. - I explicitly told you 548 00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:39,208 not to say my name. - He asked! 549 00:21:39,291 --> 00:21:40,708 - Unbelievable. 550 00:21:40,791 --> 00:21:42,625 - Well, well, well. 551 00:21:42,708 --> 00:21:44,208 She shows her face. 552 00:21:44,291 --> 00:21:47,541 I can't believe you would stoop so low as to hire some 553 00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:49,791 niche escort off Craigslist to do your dirty work. 554 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:50,875 - I wouldn't have to send anyone 555 00:21:50,958 --> 00:21:52,041 if you'd just sell it to me! 556 00:21:52,125 --> 00:21:53,500 - Yeah, I wasn't joking, Deborah. 557 00:21:53,583 --> 00:21:55,333 I will never sell to you. 558 00:21:55,416 --> 00:21:56,625 - Oh, get over it! 559 00:21:56,708 --> 00:21:57,875 - Do you know how many years 560 00:21:57,958 --> 00:21:59,791 I put in with that rancid gorgon 561 00:21:59,875 --> 00:22:00,916 before she croaked? 562 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,625 I played Parcheesi with her! 563 00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:04,500 And then you sweep in 564 00:22:04,583 --> 00:22:07,750 and buy the entire estate sale sight unseen. 565 00:22:07,833 --> 00:22:09,875 - It's a free market! Come on! I'll give you 15. 566 00:22:09,958 --> 00:22:12,458 - No. - Oh, you stubborn ass! 567 00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:14,625 20? - Mm-mm, no. 568 00:22:16,083 --> 00:22:18,375 - Okay, name your price. 569 00:22:18,833 --> 00:22:21,208 - An apology. 570 00:22:35,875 --> 00:22:38,291 - No eating in the car. 571 00:22:44,166 --> 00:22:45,750 [tire blows] Oh! 572 00:22:45,833 --> 00:22:47,916 [tires screeching] 573 00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:56,458 Shit. 574 00:22:57,541 --> 00:23:00,041 - All right. Should we get the spare? 575 00:23:01,416 --> 00:23:04,583 - It's a Rolls Royce, not a Suzuki Samurai. 576 00:23:04,666 --> 00:23:05,958 There is no spare. - [scoffs] 577 00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:07,291 Thing's got heated cup holders. 578 00:23:07,375 --> 00:23:08,583 There's no fucking spare tire. 579 00:23:08,666 --> 00:23:10,708 Okay, um, so we'll call Triple A. 580 00:23:10,791 --> 00:23:12,416 - [stumbling] My show's in 90 minutes. 581 00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:14,208 I can't wait. 582 00:23:15,208 --> 00:23:16,708 Danny. Danny, hi. 583 00:23:16,791 --> 00:23:18,666 It's Deborah Vance. Hi, baby. 584 00:23:18,750 --> 00:23:21,291 I've got a flat, and I need to get to my show. 585 00:23:21,375 --> 00:23:22,875 Yeah, I need a ride. 586 00:23:22,958 --> 00:23:24,416 Can you pick me up? 587 00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:26,291 Ugh! You're a sweetheart. 588 00:23:26,375 --> 00:23:28,791 Okay, I'm on Los Vegas Boulevard 589 00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:32,250 about um, 15 minutes north of Primm. 590 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,291 You'll see me! Okay. 591 00:23:35,375 --> 00:23:36,958 - [sighs] 592 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:41,041 Yeah, that is shredded, 593 00:23:41,125 --> 00:23:43,250 shredded to the bone. 594 00:23:44,916 --> 00:23:46,708 [bird caws in distance] 595 00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:56,291 So how long you gonna give me the silent treatment? 596 00:23:56,375 --> 00:23:59,666 - It's not silent. You're breathing very loudly. 597 00:23:59,750 --> 00:24:01,416 - You know, it's gonna be hard to work together 598 00:24:01,500 --> 00:24:03,416 if we can't communicate. 599 00:24:03,500 --> 00:24:05,291 - We don't work together. 600 00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:06,833 You work for me. 601 00:24:06,916 --> 00:24:08,250 And not very well. 602 00:24:08,333 --> 00:24:10,333 You couldn't even do the one thing I asked. 603 00:24:10,416 --> 00:24:11,833 - Well, I'm sorry I couldn't haggle 604 00:24:11,916 --> 00:24:13,958 for your Jean Valjean tchotchke or whatever 605 00:24:14,041 --> 00:24:15,875 but I--I'm a comedy writer. 606 00:24:15,958 --> 00:24:17,750 - Oh, my God. 607 00:24:26,875 --> 00:24:29,541 - You know, this isn't even about the pepper shaker. 608 00:24:29,625 --> 00:24:31,750 - It is most certainly about the pepper shaker. 609 00:24:31,833 --> 00:24:34,125 - No, I think you're just butthurt about that billboard, 610 00:24:34,208 --> 00:24:35,958 and you're taking it out on me. 611 00:24:36,041 --> 00:24:38,208 - Ooh. Great psychoanalysis. 612 00:24:38,291 --> 00:24:40,208 Oh, I get it. You're a therapist. 613 00:24:40,291 --> 00:24:42,708 That explains it. You're certainly not a writer. 614 00:24:42,791 --> 00:24:43,916 - Yeah, how would you know? 615 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,250 You barely give me the time of day! 616 00:24:45,333 --> 00:24:46,666 You skim my work. 617 00:24:46,750 --> 00:24:48,750 I never know where you want me to be or when. 618 00:24:48,833 --> 00:24:50,625 You don't give me any feedback. 619 00:24:50,708 --> 00:24:53,250 You're making it really hard! 620 00:24:55,041 --> 00:24:57,125 - Hard? 621 00:24:57,208 --> 00:25:00,166 You think this--this is hard? 622 00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:01,666 You don't know what hard is. 623 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:04,750 You got plucked off the internet at what, 20? 624 00:25:04,833 --> 00:25:06,250 You just got lucky! - [scoffs] 625 00:25:06,333 --> 00:25:08,875 I may have been lucky, but I'm also good. 626 00:25:08,958 --> 00:25:10,083 - Well, I should hope so. 627 00:25:10,166 --> 00:25:11,458 Good is the minimum. 628 00:25:11,541 --> 00:25:12,916 It's the baseline. 629 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,791 You have to be so much more than good. 630 00:25:14,875 --> 00:25:17,083 And even if you're great and lucky, 631 00:25:17,166 --> 00:25:18,916 you still have to work really fucking hard! 632 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:20,458 And even that is not enough. 633 00:25:20,541 --> 00:25:22,250 You have to scratch and claw, 634 00:25:22,333 --> 00:25:24,583 and it never fucking ends. 635 00:25:25,333 --> 00:25:27,750 And it doesn't get better. 636 00:25:28,666 --> 00:25:30,041 It just gets harder. 637 00:25:30,125 --> 00:25:31,958 So don't complain to me 638 00:25:32,041 --> 00:25:34,708 that I'm making your life hard. 639 00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:37,583 You don't even know what that means. 640 00:25:37,666 --> 00:25:40,833 [helicopter blades whirring] 641 00:25:40,916 --> 00:25:43,166 Oh, good. My ride's here. 642 00:25:48,708 --> 00:25:52,458 - I don't think I'm comfortable riding in a local news chopper. 643 00:25:52,541 --> 00:25:54,250 - Well, good, because you're not. 644 00:25:54,333 --> 00:25:55,458 You've got to get the car back. 645 00:25:55,541 --> 00:25:57,208 - What, you're leaving me here? 646 00:25:57,291 --> 00:25:58,916 - Yep! 647 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,541 And don't run the AC. 648 00:26:00,625 --> 00:26:01,916 It's low on gas. 649 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,333 Hey! 650 00:26:03,416 --> 00:26:04,958 Lucky for you, you don't have to suffer 651 00:26:05,041 --> 00:26:07,291 through another one of my shows! 652 00:26:08,125 --> 00:26:09,500 Nice catch! 653 00:26:09,583 --> 00:26:11,750 Not surprised. 654 00:26:11,833 --> 00:26:14,625 [dramatic music] 655 00:26:14,708 --> 00:26:21,791 ♪ ♪ 656 00:26:31,541 --> 00:26:32,958 [music ends] 657 00:26:41,708 --> 00:26:43,833 - Oh. 658 00:26:46,375 --> 00:26:47,750 Fuck. 659 00:26:47,833 --> 00:26:49,583 [scoffs] 660 00:26:53,250 --> 00:26:55,500 [whispers] Fuck it. 661 00:26:58,041 --> 00:26:59,541 - Jimmy Lusaque Jr.'s office. 662 00:26:59,625 --> 00:27:02,208 - Hi, Kayla. Can I talk to Jimmy? 663 00:27:02,291 --> 00:27:04,291 - It's--who is it? - Ava. 664 00:27:04,375 --> 00:27:06,166 - Oh, my goodness! 665 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:07,708 We've gotta go to the club, girl. 666 00:27:07,791 --> 00:27:09,500 [laughs] Jimmy? 667 00:27:09,583 --> 00:27:10,708 You got a call. 668 00:27:10,791 --> 00:27:14,000 Ava, jump on, babe. 669 00:27:14,083 --> 00:27:15,791 - Hey, hey. How's it going? 670 00:27:15,875 --> 00:27:18,041 - This woman left me in the middle of the desert. 671 00:27:18,125 --> 00:27:21,500 I--I'm so sorry, like, I will do any other job. 672 00:27:21,583 --> 00:27:23,375 What about Camilla? Her room? 673 00:27:23,458 --> 00:27:25,625 - Uh, the job you quit after 11 days 674 00:27:25,708 --> 00:27:27,083 because you said it was basic? 675 00:27:27,166 --> 00:27:28,208 I don't think so. 676 00:27:28,291 --> 00:27:29,708 - I can't do it, Jimmy. 677 00:27:29,791 --> 00:27:32,208 - Uh, Ava, they want me to drop you. 678 00:27:32,291 --> 00:27:34,083 - Wait. What? Who? - The partners. 679 00:27:34,166 --> 00:27:35,708 I used this job with Deborah to convince them 680 00:27:35,791 --> 00:27:36,791 to let me keep you on. 681 00:27:36,875 --> 00:27:38,333 I--I don't wanna drop you. 682 00:27:38,416 --> 00:27:40,791 You're the first person I signed for a reason. 683 00:27:40,875 --> 00:27:43,333 - Didn't you sign Lil Miquela before me though? 684 00:27:43,416 --> 00:27:45,708 - Yes, but she's a CGI Instagram thirst trap bot, 685 00:27:45,791 --> 00:27:47,208 so it's different. 686 00:27:47,291 --> 00:27:49,916 Look, you can do this, okay? 687 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,458 You just have to find a way to prove it to her. 688 00:27:53,583 --> 00:27:56,250 - Okay, okay. 689 00:27:56,333 --> 00:27:57,750 Hey, Jimmy. 690 00:27:57,833 --> 00:27:59,750 Do I have big hands? 691 00:28:00,833 --> 00:28:02,750 - I don't think so. - Yes, you do, girl. 692 00:28:02,833 --> 00:28:04,250 - Kayla! - What? 693 00:28:04,333 --> 00:28:05,958 - They're not big. I wouldn't call them small, 694 00:28:06,041 --> 00:28:08,541 but I wouldn't call them big. Don't worry about it. 695 00:28:11,291 --> 00:28:12,958 - [sighs] 696 00:28:13,041 --> 00:28:15,000 [light ambient music] 697 00:28:15,083 --> 00:28:16,916 - Where's the girl? Did you bury her in the desert? 698 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,291 - [laughs] Not yet. 699 00:28:19,625 --> 00:28:20,916 - Cue intro. 700 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,875 - Ladies and gentlemen, Deborah Vance! 701 00:28:23,958 --> 00:28:25,291 [cheers and applause] 702 00:28:25,375 --> 00:28:27,708 - This donut, it's too small for this car. 703 00:28:27,791 --> 00:28:30,208 You can't drive faster than 50 miles per hour. 704 00:28:30,291 --> 00:28:32,916 - Great, thank you. - Yeah. 705 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,958 [Westerman's "Easy Money"] 706 00:28:36,041 --> 00:28:38,166 ♪ ♪ 707 00:28:38,250 --> 00:28:40,708 [engine revs] 708 00:28:40,791 --> 00:28:42,625 ♪ ♪ 709 00:28:42,708 --> 00:28:45,875 - ♪ I don't doubt ♪ 710 00:28:48,041 --> 00:28:53,000 ♪ Somebody's working harder now ♪ 711 00:28:53,083 --> 00:28:55,416 - I'm closing! 712 00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:58,875 ♪ ♪ 713 00:28:58,958 --> 00:29:00,875 Jesus. 714 00:29:00,958 --> 00:29:02,291 What happened to you? 715 00:29:02,375 --> 00:29:04,875 - It's, um--it's a long story. 716 00:29:05,875 --> 00:29:07,916 So, then I had to leave LA. 717 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,541 It's pretty much the worst thing that's ever 718 00:29:09,625 --> 00:29:11,291 happened to me, and that's saying a lot 719 00:29:11,375 --> 00:29:12,708 because my dad had a stroke 720 00:29:12,791 --> 00:29:14,875 the same day I chipped a veneer. 721 00:29:14,958 --> 00:29:16,291 - And now, for your punishment, 722 00:29:16,375 --> 00:29:18,166 you've got to work for that woman? 723 00:29:18,250 --> 00:29:19,833 Poor girl. 724 00:29:19,916 --> 00:29:23,625 - Life is random, but I-- 725 00:29:23,708 --> 00:29:25,333 I think from that randomness 726 00:29:25,416 --> 00:29:27,916 we can totally receive meaning. 727 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,500 And right now, for me, 728 00:29:30,583 --> 00:29:32,833 there's meaning in that pepper shaker. 729 00:29:32,916 --> 00:29:34,000 [laughs] 730 00:29:34,083 --> 00:29:36,500 Because of that one stupid tweet, 731 00:29:36,583 --> 00:29:39,083 I'm stranded in the Nevada desert 732 00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:42,708 asking you to sell me an antique pepper shaker 733 00:29:42,791 --> 00:29:45,166 because otherwise, 734 00:29:45,250 --> 00:29:46,625 I'll lose this job 735 00:29:46,708 --> 00:29:49,083 that I hate but... 736 00:29:49,166 --> 00:29:50,625 that I need. 737 00:29:50,708 --> 00:29:53,666 So, it's not for Deborah. 738 00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:55,333 It's for me. 739 00:29:55,416 --> 00:29:57,625 So, please. 740 00:29:58,708 --> 00:30:01,833 Will--will you just sell me the pepper shaker? 741 00:30:01,916 --> 00:30:03,708 - ♪ Ornament my body ♪ 742 00:30:03,791 --> 00:30:05,541 ♪ 'Cause I like how it makes me feel ♪ 743 00:30:05,625 --> 00:30:07,750 - No. 744 00:30:11,083 --> 00:30:12,875 - Okay. 745 00:30:12,958 --> 00:30:14,500 I have to respect that. 746 00:30:14,583 --> 00:30:16,333 - Good luck. 747 00:30:23,791 --> 00:30:25,375 - What are you doing? - Sell it to me. 748 00:30:25,458 --> 00:30:27,250 - Are you out of your mind? That's one of a kind! 749 00:30:27,333 --> 00:30:28,583 - Sell me it! 750 00:30:28,666 --> 00:30:30,125 I have nothing left to lose! I'll do it! 751 00:30:30,208 --> 00:30:31,958 - Just stop! Put it down! - Sell me it! 752 00:30:32,041 --> 00:30:33,875 - You think you have nothing in common with Deborah Vance? 753 00:30:33,958 --> 00:30:35,375 No, you're the same! 754 00:30:35,458 --> 00:30:36,916 You're both psychotic bitches! 755 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,166 - You have three seconds to take the money 756 00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:39,625 or I'm gonna do it! - Please! 757 00:30:39,708 --> 00:30:41,416 Think of the Obenchain-McMillan family! 758 00:30:41,500 --> 00:30:43,041 - I don't give a fuck about the Obenchain-McMillans! 759 00:30:43,125 --> 00:30:44,666 They probably owned slaves! - [sobbing] 760 00:30:44,750 --> 00:30:46,708 - Fuck you, Lemony Snicket! 761 00:30:46,791 --> 00:30:50,000 One! Two! Three! 762 00:30:50,083 --> 00:30:52,416 [doorbell chimes] 763 00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:54,416 - Here. 764 00:30:55,166 --> 00:30:56,500 And no. 765 00:30:56,583 --> 00:30:59,166 There was no change. 766 00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:00,958 - You look like hell. 767 00:31:01,041 --> 00:31:04,458 - Yeah, I had a pretty hard day. 768 00:31:05,583 --> 00:31:07,875 - Oh, we can start early tomorrow. 769 00:31:07,958 --> 00:31:11,166 I can be ready for you at 10:00. 770 00:31:11,666 --> 00:31:13,375 - Okay. 771 00:31:17,333 --> 00:31:20,291 [light piano music] 772 00:31:20,375 --> 00:31:27,541 ♪ ♪ 773 00:31:53,250 --> 00:31:54,875 - Oh, good morning. 774 00:31:54,958 --> 00:31:56,791 - Morning. 775 00:31:56,875 --> 00:31:59,208 - So, I have been thinking more 776 00:31:59,291 --> 00:32:00,875 about what you said, and you're right. 777 00:32:00,958 --> 00:32:03,791 You do need to get to know me to write for me. 778 00:32:04,541 --> 00:32:07,833 - For real this time? - Yes. 779 00:32:07,916 --> 00:32:09,000 - Cool. 780 00:32:09,083 --> 00:32:12,041 - So. Come with me. 781 00:32:14,750 --> 00:32:16,583 This is everything I've ever done. 782 00:32:16,666 --> 00:32:19,583 Every joke I've ever written. Every show I've ever taped. 783 00:32:19,666 --> 00:32:23,208 Every TV appearance for the last 40 years. 784 00:32:23,291 --> 00:32:25,875 I want you to digitize it and organize it. 785 00:32:25,958 --> 00:32:28,291 - Well, I'm not-- - Before you say anything, 786 00:32:28,375 --> 00:32:31,166 I know you're a writer. 787 00:32:31,250 --> 00:32:33,666 That's all material, honey. 788 00:32:33,750 --> 00:32:37,291 [War's "Why Can't We Be Friends"] 789 00:32:37,375 --> 00:32:38,833 - Uh, w-- 790 00:32:38,916 --> 00:32:41,333 - ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 791 00:32:41,416 --> 00:32:43,875 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 792 00:32:43,958 --> 00:32:46,375 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 793 00:32:46,458 --> 00:32:49,833 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 794 00:32:49,916 --> 00:32:53,708 ♪ I seen ya around for a long long time ♪ 795 00:32:53,791 --> 00:32:55,375 - Yeah! [laughter] 796 00:32:55,458 --> 00:32:59,500 - ♪ I remembered you when you drank my wine ♪ 797 00:32:59,583 --> 00:33:02,125 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 798 00:33:02,208 --> 00:33:04,708 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 799 00:33:04,791 --> 00:33:07,250 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 800 00:33:07,333 --> 00:33:10,541 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 801 00:33:10,625 --> 00:33:14,625 ♪ I've seen you walking down in Chinatown ♪ 802 00:33:14,708 --> 00:33:15,750 - [giggles] 803 00:33:15,833 --> 00:33:17,291 - ♪ I called you ♪ 804 00:33:17,375 --> 00:33:20,416 ♪ But you could not look around ♪ 805 00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:23,041 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 806 00:33:23,125 --> 00:33:25,500 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 807 00:33:25,583 --> 00:33:28,083 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 808 00:33:28,166 --> 00:33:31,125 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 809 00:33:31,208 --> 00:33:33,166 ♪ I paid my money ♪ 810 00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:36,375 ♪ To the welfare line ♪ [laughter] 811 00:33:36,458 --> 00:33:39,250 ♪ I see ya standing in it ♪ 812 00:33:39,333 --> 00:33:41,083 ♪ Every time ♪ 813 00:33:41,166 --> 00:33:43,708 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 814 00:33:43,791 --> 00:33:46,208 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 815 00:33:46,291 --> 00:33:48,750 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 816 00:33:48,833 --> 00:33:52,083 ♪ Why can't we be friends? ♪ 817 00:33:52,166 --> 00:33:56,333 ♪ The color of your skin don't matter to me ♪ 818 00:33:56,416 --> 00:33:57,666 - Ow! 53631

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