Original subtitles

- [Announcer] Tonight on Wiseguy.

- It's the biggest coke operation in the United States.

And if you save it, you will be a double-digit millionaire.

- I know Mel set up my boy.

I know he did.

- Am I askin' too much to have my family left alone?

- Kill them.

Scorched earth.

(screaming)

- [Earnest] Burn in hell!

- You hired me.

You can handle my resignation.

- Then he'll tell me to kill you, which I will do.

(upbeat heroic music)

(soft instrumental music)

- [Russell] Dear Ma and Daddy,

I've only been in prison two weeks

but it already seems like two years in hell.

I'd never let Mel Profitt talk me into runnin' shine

if it wasn't for that loan being called in

and you bein' afraid of losin' the farm.

I knew I shoulda trusted in the Lord

to see us through.

Believe me when I say I was only tryin' to help.

I thought I knew all the back roads to Gatlin,

but it didn't matter.

The police knew I'd be comin' through,

thanks to Mel.

(banging) (shrieking)

(ominous music)

Right off, I realized I had to build myself up.

In prison, only the strong survive.

I got six years to go.

If we trust in the Lord, maybe they'll pass quick

and I'll be comin' home.

Home's all I think about.

Your son, Russell.

- This is as close as it gets to home for me, Vince.

We'll be here a while.

Get yourself a hotel room.

- George Sank is expecting you.

We have a house to count there.

(suspenseful music)

(speaking in foreign language)

(speaks in foreign language)

- Sure hope you speak English.

(speaking in foreign language)

- My apologies, monsieur.

Your name?

- I'm Vinnie Terranova.

I'm with Mel Profitt.

- Ahh, oui oui.

Mademoiselle! (speaks in foreign language)

- 'Scuse me, pardon me, please.

(laughing)

(soft instrumental music)

I'm gonna love sleepin' here.

(muffled singing in foreign language)

(phone ringing)

- Yeah, Mike Terranova.

- Agent 4587.

Day code, the Journall, world column.

Woesome, Zimbabwe, endemic.

- Vinnie, it's two o'clock in the morning.

- Not where I am.

Tell McPike I wanna meet.

- Okay, the meet will be on the 13th floor

Hotel Vancouver in the file room.

- Okay, great.

I'll talk to you later.

Hey, Uncle Mike? - Yeah, Vinnie.

- How you doin'?

- I'm doin' all right, thanks for asking.

How'd my favorite nephew?

- Ah, I been on the road so long

I forget what you look like.

- (laughs) Well, that's a blessing.

Hey listen, tell McPike it's time we broke bread.

- Yeah, I'd like that.

- Me too.

You take care, Vinnie.

- You too, Uncle Mike.

- Vinnie! - Are you sure he's stable?

- Yeah, I'm sure. - Hey.

What's he doin' here?

- It's my jurisdiction.

- He doesn't have anything to do with you.

- Well, it doesn't matter.

I'm off the case.

- Agent Terranova, operationally you are the case.

You can't just walk.

- [Vinnie] I have no authority here.

- [Charlie] Your authority here is through me.

- You have no authority here,

and I answer to the bureau.

- Semantics.

Same government, same branch, same objective.

- I don't think so.

- Our objective is protecting the same sovereign nation.

- Don't you wave the flag in my face.

We don't share objectives.

- We're sworn to the same Constitution.

- I'm not debating democracy here.

My bein' here stinks.

I'm an OCB operative, not a CIA mole.

- It's an awkward situation, Vince.

It's on an ad hoc basis, which does not make it an order.

It's strictly voluntary.

- I have no vested authority here, correct?

- That's correct.

All right, you got it, he's outta here, Charlie.

- Now wait a minute!

- It is a done deal.

No discussion necessary.

- Look, don't feed Profitt's paranoia

by evaporating without a reasonable explanation.

It's just gonna make it that much tougher

for the next guy to get in.

- I'll tell Roger I'm homesick.

(elevator humming)

(sparks crackling)

Hey Roger.

- Give me a minute, huh?

A man can kill with anything.

You missed Vietnam by what, five years?

- Didn't miss a thing.

- So, what brings you in out of the cold?

- Goin' back to Brooklyn.

- Oh, you are, huh, Buckwheat?

- That's right, Spanky.

- Oh, what is this, a bitter exit?

- I'm on the moon here. - Ah.

- I got opportunity back East,

family, I know the territory.

- Goin' to be a monkey, better know the jungle, huh?

What is it, the money?

- It's not just the money.

- Well, what is it?

You don't live close enough to a pizza parlor?

- Yeah, well, I'd love to stand around

and chat with you, Spanky, but I'm allergic to glib.

- Vinnie, wait.

- What?

- You ever spend any time in Central America?

- No.

- Anywhere around the Caribbean Basin?

You ever hear of Eric Gairy's goon squads,

Papa Doc's Tonton Macoute?

There's a hole in the ozone over Antarctica

the size of Arkansas.

It was put there by petrol chemical companies

and housewives, or space aliens, depends on who you talk to.

Either way, same result.

Dust bowls in Oklahoma, bumper crops on Ottawa,

hemispheric schizophrenia.

- What's your point? - My point is your point.

It's not just money.

There is a lot more going on.

- What?

What's going on?

- Ask Profitt, and you tell him you're leaving.

- You hired me, you can handle my resignation.

- Mel Profitt is insane.

If I tell him you vamoosed 'cause you missed your mama,

he'll extrapolate until he's convinced

you're with the FBI.

And then he'll tell me to kill you,

which I will do.

(suspenseful music)

So if you wanna leave here worry-free,

I suggest you look into his crazy face and tell him adios.

- Leaving?

And you're a smart man.

Well, maybe I should leave too, huh?

What do you think?

- Where would you go? - Where would you go?

And why would you want to?

I need answers before you leave.

- Some people like hotels.

I like goin' home at night.

- Well home is a joke.

It makes you weak and poor.

It's an addiction.

- Vinnie, could you open this please?

- Sure.

(cork popping)

- Elvis is leaving us.

- Why?

- He wanna go home to Guido.

- Who's Guido?

- It's the mob, the outfit.

(speaks in foreign language)

Kiss my ring. - Hey Mel.

Why don't you stick to snide remarks

about my heritage?

All I am to you is a trigger.

In Jersey, I can work on operation.

I can run it.

- Can you, pal? - That's right.

You know, this may come as a surprise to you

but I see myself as a businessman, not muscle.

- Yes, yes, ambition.

Do you know what I do, Vince?

Do you understand what it is Susie and I do?

- Yeah, I understand what you do.

You're drug dealers.

- That much of my business.

I'm a malthusian!

You tell him, Sis, let's tell him.

- We were seeded by the coca leaf,

but it's not where our power comes from now.

Singer's name is on the sewing machine

but it's PNLs and aerospace technologies.

Modern Western economy was based

on the theories of Thomas Malthus.

He was an 18th century wizard.

- Malthus figured it out.

Theory as truth, pure and simple.

Population increases geometrically.

Economy grows arithmetically.

We pop out new babies 100 times faster

than we grow food enough to feed them.

Bottom line, there is never enough food

to sustain the existent population.

Three things keep the balance:

famine, disease, and war.

Eureka, pal.

There is one exception to the rule,

one area of the economy that does grow geometrically.

- Munitions. - Yes!

It's the ultimate deal.

Take a look at this map.

Bullets from Ohio to Pakistan for Afghani rebels

to shoot Soviet soldiers,

or for Pakistani soldiers to shoot Afghan refugees.

Israeli Uzis to Thailand.

Laotians and Cambodians, they lurk at their border like,

like the plague!

I love this!

Bigger countries, bigger deals.

Surface to air missiles, stingers,

exocets, howitzers, mirages,

fully-equipped, laser-guided paveways,

side winders, penguin anti-ship missiles,

$80 million dollars a pop!

And I sit on the Jutai and I do business

by the telephone.

- So what do you sell to Tennessee?

- Drugs.

- You think you're a businessman?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

Here's the chance to run the business

on which I built this empire.

- Save, is a better way of putting it.

- Right.

And if you save it, you will be a double-digit millionaire.

- But if I don't, I'm to give it a proper burial, right?

- That's the deal.

- I don't think so.

Listen, you ever need anything in New York,

I'll be there for you.

Thanks for the champagne, eh.

- It's the biggest coke operation in the United States!

Take Roger.

He can be your man on this one.

What do you say?

(plane engine humming)

- Thanks a lot, Buckwheat.

In the future, please don't volunteer me

for anymore assignments, especially when they include

field trips to dimwit South Carolina.

You lookin' for something?

- Yeah, holes in the ozone.

- (laughing) You gotta go a lot further south.

- Hey Roger, do me a favor, will ya?

- Hm? - Quit callin' me Buckwheat.

(laughs)

- Mr. Terranova. - Yeah.

- Mr. Profitt said you should get this

on our approach.

We're 10 minutes outside of Johnson City.

- All right, thanks.

- what do you got?

- It says here, dear businessman,

welcome to Valdosta Ridge, Tennessee.

Rest, see Jesus, try Lottie's banana pudding.

Save the biz, smart ass.

Be in touch, Mel.

- Mr. Terranova?

- Yeah, you Jesus?

- Nah, I'm just here to pick you up.

Get in the car.

- Is there a problem, mister?

- By my deeds I invited God's wrath.

I accept that.

I swear to the Almighty I'll blaze in damnation

before another member of my family's harmed.

- Ho!

I like you, you're crazy.

Explain this.

Hey! - Roger.

I'm Vinnie Terranova and this is Roger LoCocco.

Who are you?

- Earnest Haynes.

- All right, Earnest, look,

Roger and I think we're here to meet somebody named Jesus

and to examine a business for the guy who owns it.

- Don't forget Lottie's banana pudding.

- Why do you think we're here?

- You're here by way of Mel Profitt

to see Willie Jesus? - Yes.

- You're here for a lot more

than my wife's banana pudding.

(suspenseful music)

Jesus will see you boys in the morning.

You look like you was once good boys.

Am I askin' too much to have my family left alone?

(fire crackling)

- Well.

- No, no, don't get up, don't get up.

- Lottie, this is Mr. Terranova, Mr. LoCocco.

This is Mrs. Haynes.

- So pleased to meet you.

Can I get you anything?

- No, no, no thank you.

- Nice to meet you, ma'am.

- It's late.

Your room's right at the top of the stairs on the left.

- Okay.

- Where's my room?

- Same room.

- (laughs) No, no, you gotta have

a hotel around here somewhere.

- 40 miles away.

Everything's closed for the season.

- Well, we can work somethin' out.

- It's fine for now, thank you.

Goodnight.

- I love the way you quit this gig.

Goodnight.

(suspenseful music)

- Yeah, I had you pegged for a homophobe

the minute I met you.

- Oh, you did, huh?

- Oh, yeah, sure, with that macho black wardrobe

and I-am-a-coiled-snake look.

- Just the fact that you remember

what I was wearing is reason enough for me

not to want to bunk with you, sweetheart.

- Looks like their son was some kind

of a high school hero or something.

Something's wrong here.

Look at you.

I think some of Mel's paranoia has rubbed off on you.

Got no idea what this is about, do you?

- Look, I been with Mel a year.

This is my first encounter with American gothic.

- Now this stinks.

I live by some rules, Roger.

- You're not gonna start speakin' Italian to me, are you?

- Look, if you're not a player, you're not a target.

No exceptions.

- Cut the light, will you?

- All right.

Any time you wanna talk. - Yeah.

(birds chirping)

(upbeat merengue music)

What the hell is that?

- Merengue.

Am I on drugs or what?

Ah!

- Welcome to Dixie.

I'm Willie Jesus.

Now that you've seen me, if you're not outta here

by five o'clock, you're dead.

- What's goin' on here?

- I ask myself every day,

how can I serve hell to save my son?

How'd I let this happen?

But I know, I know the answer.

I've looked into the eyes of scratch.

I let him take my son.

(gasps)

(wheezing)

- Roger, give me a hand here.

- [Roger] Looks like he's hyperventilating.

- This happens all the time.

Only cure is our son's freedom

or those bastards in our backyard dropping dead.

- Tempting, isn't it?

- Yeah, but how'd they get there?

Things just don't show up where they're not wanted.

- Mel and Susan show up wherever they damn well please.

They got poor Earnest thinkin' Mel's the devil himself.

- What do you think?

- Mel's a bump on his rump,

but Susan, she's death for any man short on fortitude.

- You got yourself some real ugly neighbors.

- Mel and Susan.

Four years ago, Mel flashed $10,000 dollars

at my son, Russell.

- The track star? - Yes, sir.

All he had to do was take some shine

across to Gatlin.

- That's in another state.

- Russell was 19.

Like most boys at 19, he knew he'd never die.

Well, they caught him with the shine,

with the money, and,

in and out of court so fast

it'd make your head swim.

30 years.

10 'fore they'd think about parole.

Only thing quicker than the trial

was Susie flying in here with a scheme

to get Russell out early.

They had bribed somebody

so Rusty'd get out in six, guaranteed.

All we had to do was let 'em use the still

as a front for their business.

It's been horror since then.

I know Mel set up my boy.

I know he did.

I called him on it.

You know what he did?

He smiled and said, "Only the toes knows."

You know he's crazy.

- Maybe we should talk to Jesus.

Hm?

(upbeat merengue music)

- Babe, I got 200 acres for you.

(banging)

- Yo!

Oooh.

- Hey, I'm conducting business here.

- What are you sellin', nightmares?

- 400 acres by Friday.

Ciao.

Tell Mel expenses grow faster than income.

- Maybe you're just a bad manager.

- Maybe you smell like Panama City because you're dead.

- I tell you what, why don't we

crack open the books and see what we got, all right?

- Two years ago, Mel brings me here,

promises me a fortune.

"Just keep things running, Jesus," he tells me.

I have not seen my fortune or Mel Profitt since,

so I take what was promised

and to hell with Mel Profitt.

- Let me tell you something,

there are no free fajitas on Mel Profitt's bus.

Now you either pony up his share of his enterprise

or you're gonna die, comprende, fat man?

- Brian!

Throw them out.

- Gonna call Mel.

- Give him my love.

(phone dinging)

- Sailor Hardware, Mike Terranova.

- Can't ID, no papers available.

- Noted. - All right, listen.

I want you to trace this call.

You wouldn't believe what I stumbled on to.

Now first, there's a kid named Russell Haynes.

Now Mel Profitt set him up and stiffed him good.

He's doin' time now and I want him cut loose.

- Hey, wait a minute, I need some specifics.

- Uncle Mike, I've been there

and it ruined part of my life

and I had the full protection of the federal government.

Now, if this kid's story checks out,

I want him released.

(phone bangs)

- What'd Mel say?

- Um, havin' trouble gettin' through.

- Try the 800-number.

(ringing)

- [Operator] S and M Profitt Enterprises.

- Yeah, Mr. Profitt please.

- [Operator] Mr. Profitt is in transit.

Would you like to leave a message?

- This is Vinnie Terranova.

- [Operator] Mr. Terranova, he asks that you stay

in Valdosta Ridge and call him tomorrow.

- All right, thanks.

He wants us to stay put.

- Look, I don't want your projections--

- What?

I don't know what he's doin' in Tennessee.

He was supposed to leave this operation 24 hours ago.

As far as we can tell, he's in Valdosta Ridge.

Let me tell you something,

this kid got scammed.

You look at this file, first offense, running moonshine.

He gets 30 years.

I mean, why in the hell didn't they just hang him?

Everybody involved in this case is crooked,

the arresting officer, prosecuting attorney,

and the public defender.

Russell Haynes should be released immediately.

- I'm a distiller. - As in moonshine?

- Yah.

Even sold to the sheriff.

Aha, got one.

20 years old.

Show me a shiner willin' to wait two decades

to sell his product.

Shine money is a little like

the cheese this rat was after.

Big and inviting, but you never live to enjoy it.

Lead us not into temptation.

If that rat was a Christian, he'd be alive today.

- You makin' tequila these days, Earnest?

- (throat clears) Our Father,

we thank you for the food we're about to receive

in Christ's name, amen.

- Amen.

- [Lottie] Banana pudding.

- Thank you.

(cow mooing) (banging)

- Well, while you boys stand around here

waitin' for orders from Mel,

might pitch in and do something honest.

Why don't you brush old Joe down.

Here you go.

- (laughing) Are you kiddin' me, man?

- Here Vinnie, jump right up.

I got a job for you.

Just jump right up here.

- What? - Atta boy, here you go.

Come right around here.

Now Vinnie, this is Bossy.

- What is this, Green Acres over here?

- No, no, no.

Bossy, now this is Vinnie.

He's a good boy, he won't hurt you at all.

- Yeah, I won't hurt it 'cause I'm not gonna touch it.

- Oh, come on, Vinnie.

Right down-- - I don't wanna do it.

What do I know about-- - Here, here.

Put your behind right here.

- Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.

- Put it right here.

Take hold right there, take hold right here.

- What, this thing there? - Yep, that's right.

Just right there, now squeeze, squeeze.

Gentle. (cow mooing)

- When you leaving?

- You know, it's gonna be a major disappointment

in my life if I don't get a chance to kill that guy.

(cow moos)

- I was just callin' you.

- It's too late, isn't it?

- [Vinnie] What, you mean the business?

- Yeah, I mean the business, what do you think?

I'm bearing witness to the second coming

here in the convenience dump of Valdosta Ridge, Tennessee?

- Yeah, it's too late.

There was nothin' to save.

Jesus took this business over before I got here.

- We were spit out here by the state.

Because I could read, they got me a job

as a janitor in the grammar school

so I could use the library.

If I'd been flatulent, they would've

found me a job as a disc jockey.

Business had to decentralize.

Too many revenuers in Miami,

circling their AWACS like hawks.

Florida was one big DEA convention.

One full DC-3 from Belize to Valdosta Ridge,

non-stop once a week for four years.

Geometric expansion, Vinnie.

Boh.

It's not your fault.

Jesus and his men, Earnest and Lottie, kill them.

Scorched earth.

No chain of evidence.

- Susan with you?

- Susan's at a blood doping.

You take care of business, Vince.

The jet'll be back in three days.

Defoliate and come home.

Big reward waitin'.

Flesh and blood.

All your dreams fulfilled.

(crickets chirping)

- Somethin' troubling you boys?

- No, ma'am, just a hard day on the farm.

- You and Roger, you're not at all

like what we'd expect from the likes of Mel Profitt.

- They're all right.

You should see these two pullin' Bossy's teets.

She won't be givin' milk for a month.

(laughing)

- Oh, I believe you two are blushin'!

(chair scrapes and bangs)

(Roger breathing heavily)

- I'm sorry.

I'll see what's the matter with him.

'Scuse me.

- I am afflicted. (heavy breathing)

- Hey, Roger.

- Those people might as well be my grandparents.

- You talked to Mel, didn't you?

- Yeah, how do you know?

- I saw him at the General Store.

He was in the back, standing in garbage.

Roger, I am not killing these people

for that lunatic.

Money isn't reason enough.

- Money is the worst reason.

- Then why are you here?

- Too much changes if I leave now!

- Too much changes every day whether you leave or not.

Come on, Mel's half way to Rangu

and he doesn't even know it.

- Stay. - Why?

- Just stay, please.

- All right.

- The third world is a desperate place, Vinnie.

- Never been there.

- You don't have to go.

It'll come to you.

- Guess you been all over the place, huh?

- Yeah.

Far East.

Louse, Cambodia.

Less time in South America, the Caribbean.

That'll change, new business.

- What new business?

- Spent so much time there,

I used to dream in Vietnamese.

(soft instrumental music)

(salacious music) (heart beating)

(breathing heavily)

(upbeat merengue music)

- Why do they wait?

I told them to leave or they die.

See if the two white men are available to talk.

Take a gun.

Mr. LoCocco has a dangerous reputation.

(ominous music)

(heart beating)

(banging)

- Ma?

Daddy? - Russell?

- Shut up!

- Russell!

(laughing)

- [Earnest] Son!

- Who are these people?

- [Earnest] Mel Profitt's boys.

(gun clicks)

(suspenseful music)

- Yeah, this is the phone.

- Well, he hasn't checked in in nearly 20 hours.

So we wait.

- I think we oughta be getting directly to the farm.

- You may be right, but I gotta give him his four hours.

- Hey, what if he forgot?

- He's a trained agent.

- With a history of alcohol and mental disorders.

- First of all, that's classified.

- Hey, I've got clearance, Frank.

- Second of all, he has a major distortion of reality.

- Well, all I know is what I read in the COMSTAT Bank.

- Oh Chuck, you make me wonder why I do this.

- I've got clearance.

You think people put things in data banks

simply because they got nothin' better to do?

- Yep.

- What is this?

- You gotta leave, Willie.

- Russell, you are Russell.

Look at you.

Prison was good for you.

Look how healthy you are.

- Thank you.

Now, you gotta leave.

My family can't deal with this.

- I can't go.

We got a deal with your daddy.

- Deal was till I got out.

Here I am.

- No.

Our deal with your father was you be out in six years.

You got two years left.

- You boys made a ton of money here.

Now time's come to move on.

- I've known men like you who run things in prison.

Inside, they respect muscle.

Outside, brains are where the power is.

Think, Russell.

That gun buys you nothing.

They will kill you before you empty the second barrel.

They don't care if I die. (laughs)

You and Mel's flunkies,

get out.

(thudding) (grunting)

(shrieking)

(guns firing)

(gun firing)

- Run, boys!

- Get in the house, Ma!

- [Vinnie] Keep your head down.

- I'm gonna stop this. - Oh, Earnest!

(suspenseful music)

- Burn in hell!

- Noo!

(guns firing)

(booming)

(guns firing)

(booming)

(dramatic music)

(crashing)

(thudding) (grunting)

Stay calm, Mama.

- [Vinnie] Don't do it, Roger, don't kill 'em.

- [Russell] Stay calm, Daddy.

I'll get ya a doctor.

It's okay.

Just hold on.

(suspenseful music)

(police radio chattering indistinctly)

- Hey, there was a guy in here with his head on backwards.

- Well, it's confirmed.

Vince is back in Vancouver.

I'm lookin' at permanent jet lag here.

- I guess congratulations are in order.

- How's that?

Well, well.

You know, once in a while, just once in a while

we get a little satisfaction.

(laughs)

Who put a feather in your pants?

- Nah, no.

10 years ago I was station chief in Uruguay.

I got so strung out on that junk, I went into a coma.

(inhales deeply)

Feels good just to be alive and breathing

through a regular nose.

Well, almost a regular nose.

Baby collapsed on me 'cause of that crap.

- There's no explanation necessary, Chuck.

- Amen, brother.

(soft instrumental music)

- We took care of shutting down a business

that was producing liabilities.

Now that's how define the job.

- Didn't Mel give you a specific set of orders?

- He wasn't on site.

- Okay, what was it on site that caused you

to alter orders?

- Malthus.

Poverty's inescapable, and it's not in my position

to alter it except for myself.

I left them in poverty, and that was enough.

- You have completely misinterpreted

the foundation of modern Western economy.

- No, I haven't.

You know, you people think

that just 'cause I was raised in Brooklyn

that I got my education in the pool hall.

I haven't misinterpreted Malthus.

I haven't misinterpreted anything.

You have.

The only reason you wanted those people whacked

was for your own ego satisfaction.

Now that's bad business no matter who's theory

you subscribe to.

- What do you have to say for yourself?

- (throat clears) Vertical integration.

- What?

- Own everything from the seed to the street,

that way you don't have problems with subcontractors.

- I'm surrounded by genius.

- Well, well, look at this.

If it ain't mutt and mutt.

- Well, aren't we jolly.

And let me compliment you on the way

you gracefully bowed out of this assignment.

- Frank, something incredible came up.

- Yeah, I've seen his sister.

- No.

The only place Mel Profitt doesn't do any business

is at the polar ice cap.

This guy is huge.

He's into arms, drugs, political power.

There is nothing that he doesn't trade in.

- You'll be staying on, then?

- Yeah.

I'm gonna bring him to his knees.

- What else?

- I want you to dig deeper on Roger LoCocco.

This guy's got convictions that just don't go

with a contract killer.

- Vinnie, Vince, don't do this.

Don't pick up strays.

- Frank, trust me.

- Trust me?

That's it?

- No.

I wanna meet the Lifeguard.

- I'll see what I can do.

- Thanks.

(soft instrumental music)

(upbeat heroic music)