All language subtitles for The Present 2024 1080p WEB-DL HEVC x265 5.1 BONE_track3_[eng].ass

- Mom, he's taking all the chicken.
- Wait until everyone's at the table.

Hey, still big camp out tonight?

- We're too old for that stuff.
- I know, I was just kidding.

- I'm going to a party.
- We talked about that.

- Really?
- The answer was no.

I'm literally missing the party of
the year for a family dinner?

Everyone's gonna be there.

Not everyone.

- Shut up, Max!
- Please stop shouting at your brother.

- Taylor's having dinner with us?
- Something's going down.

So your dad and I wanted to talk
to the three of you all in the same place

- about something important.
- Mm-hmm.

This… This is important.

- I just said that.
- I understand.

Yeah, okay.

Okay. So your dad and I wanted to
talk to the three of you

because we've decided
that we need to make a change.

No way.

- What are you talking about?
- They're getting divorced.

- No. No, no, no.
- No, it's a trial separation.

- You're going on trial?
- No, no, we're just going to live apart.

- What about a trial?
- You're not going on trial.

They're getting divorced,
that's what that means.

For forever, just say it!

Would you please just listen to me
for a moment.

Oh, so Taylor can just get up and leave?

Well, at least I won't have
to get used to sleeping alone.

I wouldn't go there if I were you.

All right, so…

we're doing it tonight at dinner.

Where will you stay?

I don't really know.

Dan's got an extra room.

Oh, his place is disgusting.

Yeah.

I don't suppose you want to move out?

Don't put it on me.

-Max!

Mom!

Hey, Max!

- You're gonna talk to Taylor.
- Yeah. And then you talk to Max.

- I know. I know.
- Mom, he's doing it!

Guys, guys, listen. This is important.
No excuses. We need everyone at dinner.

- Seriously?
- Tonight?

- Will we have favorite chicken?
- Yeah, sure, sweetie.

No wait, but Jimmy's having
a party tonight.

It's always the best party
of the year. Everyone's counting on me.

You're 16. What's everyone
counting on you for?

- God, Dad!
- Is Jacob gonna be there?

What? I don't…

- I don't know. Who cares about him?
- He'll definitely be there.

Don't you have a plate to bang on?

-Hey, don't hit your brother.

Oh, my God, stop!

-Oh, no.

- Delivery for a Mr. Diehl.
- Eric! What?

Well, we gave away everything
else my father had in storage.

What are we supposed to do with
a giant broken clock?

- It's a rare antique, Jen.
- It's kind of creepy.

Go wait in the car.

Don't you feel like we should
be clearing stuff away right now?

With everything that we're going through?

Yeah, I'll have him
put it in the basement.

No. You know how Taylor feels
about change.

Well, you can tell Taylor about it
when you tell him about dinner.

- That was not part of our deal.
- And I'll tell Emma.

- No.
- Yeah. Emma!

- Basement's this way.
- Basement.

- You guys got it? I'm so sorry.
- Let's get down there.

No, rotate.

Yeah, just leave
it at the bottom of the stairs. Honestly.

Hey, Mom.

Oh. Hey, Taylor.

They can bring the clock over here.

What is that? "The clock can help
you now and then,

but only you can change events."
Huh, hokey.

This is between you and your dad.

If you want to pull it apart
or throw it from a cliff, you can.

But just don't pull that over on yourself.
It looks pretty heavy.

"Twelve-hour repeater."

There's something else
I need to talk to you about.

You want me to be at dinner tonight?

Yeah, how'd you know that?

Now get the door.

Huh.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Another package for young Taylor.
Still adding on to this computer, eh?

- Never ends.
- Don't we have to go?

Oh, yes. You got your bag?

It's on my back.

Agh, what was...

Ew, gross!

It's on your shoe! Disgusting!

Oh, God!

Why doesn't Emma take me anymore?

Oh, honey, she just
wants to drive alone right now.

She never wants to be with me anymore.

- Is she sick of me?
- She's sick of everyone.

I kind of feel like Taylor got
the best deal to all of us.

Taylor?

Yeah, I mean, because
he has all these issues

that were diagnosed by professionals.

He gets to sit in the basement
all day playing video games.

Honey, Taylor has a really hard time.

Honey, can you imagine not wanting to
be touched, not wanting to go outside?

Today he was actually
fixing grandpa's clock.

- That old piece of crap?
- Max!

Yeah, that old piece of crap.

Let's turn that bar up to four.

- We are here together, guys.
- Let's do this people!

This our moment.
We're gonna take it.

No negativity, let's be positive.

What an incredible session in there.

Oh, thanks.

Sorry about that brutal class.

I'm clearly working through some feelings.

Are you kidding me? I feel like you took
it to a whole new level in there.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm really excited about
tomorrow's private session.

Oh, actually, you need
to get me a signed release.

My studio doesn't want to
be sued by some rich lawyer.

I would never sue you, Jen.
Never.

I would totally sue
anybody you want me to.

Oh, I'm sure that
wouldn't be necessary, but...

No, no, I'm serious, Jen.
Just think of me as your legal eagle.

Ready to dive in and eviscerate
anybody in a moment's notice

What the hell? What did you do to my car?

You didn't see him?

See what?

The kid ran into the middle of the street.

I barely missed him.

Taylor?

Do you have insurance?

Taylor?

Taylor?

Taylor, did you just...
did you leave the house, honey?

Oh, wow, you fixed Grandpa's clock?

Wait, is that the time?

Okay, I'm late for
an appointment. I've gotta go.

If you wanna go out of the house,
just don't do it alone, okay?

I love you.

I love you too.

Have you noticed anything
unusual about Taylor lately?

I saw him this morning.

Dropped the package off to him.

Really?

Yeah. Jennifer, is that so surprising?

No, no, I didn't mean that.
I went to the basement.

- He's my son too. So sometimes I...
- No, I get it...

Interact with him...

I just felt like I was wondering,
because when I went down to the...

Hello? Let's save some of that
for the space, shall we?

Okay.

- So, um… So it's happening tonight.
- Mmm.

- Oh, yes.
- As we talked about last week.

So. Hashtag splitting up.

How are you gonna communicate
this to the three of them

that their family dynamic…

is about to change.

Well, we don't know.
That's why we're here seeing you.

Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

Is that what you would like to talk about?

Yeah, that's... that's why we're here.

- Great.
- Eric?

- Yes?
- Would you like to contribute to this?

Sure. I'm just tired of it all.

The distrust, the disinterest,

the dislike if we're going to be single,

maybe it's best just to get this
over with, better for everyone.

I hear you, brother. I hear you.
So here's what we'll do, okay?

Okay.

We will approach how you would like
this conversation with your children…

Unspooling.

We don't know how to unspool it.
That's why we're here.

- That's why we're talking to you.
- Right.

I'm sensing a little bit of anger from
you, Jen, if I'm gonna be honest with you,

and I think that you should
get your vitamin D tested.

You could schedule a test
from Quest right at your home.

I'm not angry, actually, and there's
nothing wrong with my vitamin D.

Can I just say you're diminishing
my feelings

by putting them all down
to a physical ailment.

I have a teenage daughter who hates me
half the time.

I've got a son who doesn't…

He doesn't want to be touched.
I'm splitting up from my husband.

And you know what the worst part is?
We're paying you to water your plants.

Technically, Jen, not to correct you,
but they are not plants.

You know, they are flowering plants,
but they're not flowers or plants,

it's important
we use the right terminology.

His obsession with flowers
really bugs me.

Jennifer, I believe it's
a flowering plant obsession.

Have you noticed he starts spritzing
every time he talks about anger?

Yes. My gosh. Who recommended him?

Exactly.

They're in your bag.

Hey, I got a little break.
I don't suppose you want to, uh…

I don't know, go back to the house,

you know, take a nap or whatever.

- Are you serious?
- We're still married.

In some countries, you'd have to.

Eric!

Hey.

I thought this was your office.

It is sometimes. Please, sit down.

And here you go.

You could have scanned this.

This is a lot more fun, right?

I have to confirm
there's no nuts in any of this, right?

- None.
- All right, let's do this.

This is a best tapenade in town,

I can't think of anybody else
I'd rather share with it than you.

You're going to love it.

Jen, this might be a little
out of line, but…

I care for you.

While I might not know
too much about your personal life,

I can see that you're not happy right now.

Come on, please tell me how I can help.

Are you okay?

No. How can I be okay when you're unhappy?

Something's happening.

You feel it, too?
It's true.

I've had a connection with you
ever since I met you.

No, something is happening into your face.

Your face is all puffy and red.

I'll call 911.

Nope. EpiPen. EpiPen. My car.

- EpiPen.
- Oh, God!

Richard, are you okay? Where is it?

-Okay?

- It's in the car?
- Oh, God, my window?

- Speak to me.
- Glove compartment!

Found it. It's okay.
Everything's under control. Woo! Okay.

Let's do this.

Oh, God.

- Oh, God.

Why do I feel like we should
be smoking cigarettes?

Please, comfort the man
whose life you just saved.

I… I can't believe they gave you peanuts
after everything that you said.

It's not peanuts, it's tree nuts.
Like almonds.

-What is it?

Sorry.

Everything okay?

Hey, Emma. How are you?

Yeah, so sorry. I just lost track of time.

Wait, what? He's what?

- When did you last see him?
- Till tomorrow!

That went good.

- Taylor?
- Mom?

- Mom, Taylor left.
- You didn't tell me where you were.

Is he back?

No, he left the house.
He never leaves the house.

- He's not here.
- Taylor!

Oh, my God, Taylor…
What a relief.

What's your problem?
He doesn't like to be touched?

I know, honey. Don't ever go out
of the house alone.

Do you understand? What were you doing?

What is your problem?

Taylor, where were you?

Were you at the restaurant right now.

- What restaurant?
- Psycho much?

Chill. Mom, he's fine.

At least we're having your favorite
chicken for dinner tonight.

Oh, my God.

Thank you for saving the day.

Just do what I'm told.

You know, for months, I've been
just so confident

that we're doing the right thing,
and then…

Today I'm like, "What are we doing?"

Jen.

Come on, we... Listen…

We can wait. Okay?
We don't have to tell them tonight.

- All right?
- Thank you.

- Happy to see me?
- What? Why?

You have a bulge in your pocket.

- What do you mean?
- Just right there. Called it.

Oh, yes. Student had an allergic reaction,

so I had to give him an injection.

- You?
- Uh-huh.

- You did this? You hate needles.
- Right?

- I had to give him an injection.
- Oh, my gosh.

Was there nobody at the studio to do this?
You must have freaked.

Oh, we were at a restaurant.

I guess somebody gave him almonds.

Restaurant? Who's the guy?

- Richard. Richard. He's, uh...
- Who?

Yeah, he's a young…
guy that just joined my class.

Huh.

You know, nothing happened.
I mean, we held hands and…

Well, that's it, so.

Congratulations.

Wait, I can't hold hands with
somebody when you're moving out.

I knew it'd be a student.

…I'm literally missing the party
of the year for a family dinner?

- Everyone's going to be there.
- Not everyone.

Shut up, Max.

- Guys. Everybody stop fighting, please.
- Taylor's having dinner with us?

So your dad and I,
we wanted to talk to the three of you

all in the same place
about something really important.

Mm-hm.

- Yeah, this is important.
- I already said that.

Okay, so anyway, Taylor, I haven't even...

- Hey, we're not done talking here.
- Taylor, sweetie!

Taylor…

Max!

Mom, he's doing it again.

-Max, stop. Stop. Mom!

- Mom, he's doing it again. Make him stop.
- Listen up. This is important.

We need everyone at dinner.

- Seriously, tonight?
- Hmm.

Okay.

All right, honey. I'm gonna dispense with
all the formalities and just bribe you.

- What will it take to get you dinner, huh?
- Why are you doing this to me?

Uh, it's not…
It's just tonight, honey. Okay?

Tomorrow night, you can go
out with Jacob till 10:30 at night.

11:00.11:30?

I told you,
I don't even want to go out with him.

It doesn't have to be Jacob. It could
be any of the Old Testament prophets.

I'll pay for non-alcoholic
beverages and G-rated movies,

abstinence pamphlets.

Thank you.

- Whatever.
- I mean it.

Not just for this. For everything. I…

We never have to worry about you.

You've never been able to worry
about me. There's a difference.

Um…

I have to tell you something, Jacob.

I can't go to Jamie's party anymore.

My parents need me at dinner.

Emma, I bought these.

An entire box. Very optimistic.

Let's just do it at my place right now.

You have a death-metal bedspread
and little planes hanging above your bed.

Okay. They're Jedi Starfighters.

Oh, my God.

This is why you're still a virgin.

Guess I lucked out, then.

Speak, if you can.

Stay, good sir, why do you start
at things that do sound so fair?

All hail Macbeth, hail to thee…

What's this about you not
going to Jamie's party?

Ugh, my parents. They want me
at some dinner.

Hey, uh, good stuff.

Witches.

And on stage
he's so good at killing people.

-Hey.

- Eva, can I talk to you for a second?
- Sure.

There's a party tonight at
Jamie's house, parents out of town…

Oh, whatever.

After all, he already
bought an entire box.

Hey.

You okay?

Yeah. You know,
life's but a walking shadow.

You're doing really well,
by the way. The scene.

Thanks. So are you.

And I'm not just saying that
because my character would.

-All hail.

You know, they're, um, they're showing
Denzel's version at the university.

Um, I thought it'd be
fun to see, you know,

his interpretation of the Scottish Play.

I thought that maybe we could do that
or something else or just, you know, that.

Are you asking me to the movie?

No.

Maybe. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Oh, great. Uh… 'kay.

Well. So. Yeah, it's tonight, so…

I can't.

Why is everything happening tonight?

Emma? Emma.
Your mother called the office.

There's been some kind of
family emergency.

Oh, my God.

Cool, cool, cool.

Cool, cool, cool.

Mom?

Mom? Dad!

Taylor, is Mom here?

You promised Mom
you wouldn't use her voice anymore.

Hello, Emma, I'm speaking
to you as a British pop star.

- So you'll pay closer attention.
- I can't believe this.

- I thought there was an emergency.
- There is an emergency.

At dinner, Mom and Dad will separate.
I need your help to keep them together.

That's what this dinner's about?

I mean, I knew they were having problems,
but Mom said they were working them out.

How do you know this?

The clock can turn back time
up to 12 hours.

What? Come on.

I found out when I fixed it
the first day it came.

That's today.

- It came this morning.
- This is the 23rd version of today.

Which is how I know that Mom
and Dad are splitting up at the end of it.

And how I know the next words
you're going to say.

This is stupid.

Yeah, of course you knew that.
This is stupid.

How about this?
Blueberry buttercup fatty pickles.

I think I know how to stop Mm,
but I need your help with Dad.

They're making a big mistake.

How do you know it's a mistake?

Better now than later.
Spoiler alert. Love sucks.

It never lasts.

Jacob's an idiot.

Mom and Dad are different.

Oh, God. You're done barfing, right?

Cause I just cleaned my car.

-Yeah. Oh…

We're off to a flying start.

Pull over, here.

I'm sorry we haven't spent
much time together lately.

We don't really talk much anymore, do we?

I know we're not supposed
to talk about the not talking, but…

you can talk, right?
You just don't want to?

Look, I don't blame you.

Most of what people say is really stupid.
I just wonder if…

Taylor, where are you going?

Taylor, what are you doing?

Oh, my God.

What the hell?
What did you do to my car?

- You didn't see him?
- See what?

The kid.

What the hell just happened? The car
almost hit you. You almost got killed.

Oh, my God.

If Mom and Dad knew what you were
doing right now, you'd be so grounded.

I love being grounded.

But that was the easy part.
Now is where I need your help.

Look at him.

No wonder they're in trouble.
Mom's beautiful and he's a mess.

It's like he's not even trying anymore.
And he's smoking again.

He's such a loser. How is that our dad?

- It's all we have to work with.
- Yeah, I know.

I have an idea. But we need money.

Taylor. Is that real?

- How did you get it?
- The stock market.

Is that totally ethical?

It's for a good cause, right? Okay, so
you're gonna say to him, it's a promotion.

We're giving free haircuts to everyone
in the office, and it's your turn.

I don't like lying.

How short do you want it.

- We have 60 seconds.
- Is this absolutely necessary?

No. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Um…

This guy’s crazy, look at him.

I don’t know if we’re supposed
to be laughing at him.

I think he’s having a breakdown.

I know. I mean…
Wait, I like your hair cut.

She noticed his haircut at least.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. They're going
somewhere together. This is great.

I've never gotten 'em this far.

This is huge. They went home together.

- We actually did it.
- We'll see at dinner.

I know… I acted like I didn't care
when you first told me.

I guess…

I guess it's just easier to act
like you literally don't care, right?

Because you don't have any control
of these things that are happening to you.

The truth is, I can't imagine
Mom and Dad apart.

Oh, crap. Mom's leaving by herself.

La Marmotte?

What were you doing in the kitchen?
Who's that weird guy with Mom?

I'm not breaking in to
anyone's car. I'm not doing it.

I'm not strong enough.

Please? I'll explain later.

Get back.

That's an EpiPen.
I could save someone's life.

You're not even breathing.

Where's the EpiPen?

Oh, God, not my window.

- Right there.
- Oh, God.

I found it. Okay. Whoo!

Okay.

- Start in the car.
- I’m putting it there.

- Just do it!
- Ahh!

What. Killing Mom's new weird guy friend
isn't going to solve anything.

She needs a shock, but not
that kind of shock.

She needs a vision.

Don't forget to stop at the minimart and
buy Favorite Chicken for dinner tonight.

Yeah, I know. I'm on my way.

- Until tomorrow!
- Who's that?

Uh, just some crazy man yelling
at me from the street. Bye.

It's showtime.

Hey, Siri, call Dylan.

Go down, go.

Tomorrow and tomorrow
and tomorrow,

creeps in this petty pace, day to day,

to the last syllable of recorded time.

Out, out, brief candle. It is a tale told
by an idiot filled with sound and fury,

signifying nothing.

My spouse hath died,
but yours still lives.

A chance to change your fate
and fate to you alone gives.

See the light and change your way.

Change your way. And change today.

- It was really okay?
- Oh, my God.

It was so much better than okay.
You totally blew her mind.

Okay. And then what was that part
at the end? That wasn't in the play?

I wrote it. To fit the occasion.

- Wow, you're really good.
- Thank you.

Um…

Thank you again so much
for doing this. I…

- Um…
- Uh…

- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow and tomorrow...

Hey, Macbeth, move it!

- Hey, Mom.
- Oh, hey, kids.

How was your day?

Weird.

Oh, yeah? I guess so.

No, I'm sorry I forgot about that.

I just saw it lying by
the side of the street

and thought "That could stab somebody.
Who would leave it there?"

Maybe a crazy man.

Hey, everybody.

Oh. Oh, hey, hon. Can we talk?

Yeah.

Looks good, right?

Your father and I want to talk
to the three of you, all in the same place

about something important.

But we're not going to do that tonight.

Instead, we're just going to
have a nice family dinner. All right?

- Right.
- Dig in, I'm going to have this.

Yes, thank you very much.
Are you kidding me?

Dylan Barlow?

I knew it. I knew his face.
I couldn't remember his name.

- He's your friend, right?
- No.

Yes. How do you know Dylan?

Well, his mom takes
my Wednesday morning class

and he just followed me around
a supermarket doing Shakespeare quotes.

Huh?

That's really weird.
Why would he do that?

Yeah, that's what
I'm gonna find out, actually.

What are you doing?

- I'm just gonna text his mom.
- No, stop. It was my idea.

I thought that it would
change your plans. And it did, right?

My plans?

With Dad.

To get divorced.

No, that's not what's happening.

Have you been spying on us?

- Yeah, but…
- There is no "but."

We do not snoop in this house.

We just don't. We face each other
from a place of honesty.

Oh, yeah, is that what you told
the weird guy you met for drinks before

you went to his car
and pulled down his pants?

- Emma!
- Emma.

What are you… What is she talking about?

Oh, a new private. We met at a restaurant.
He had an allergic reaction.

It was nothing,
but I had to give him an injection.

- You hate needles.
- Mm.

Congratulations.
Mom and I are separating, everybody.

- I knew it'd be a student.
- Sweetie, no.

- No, Emma.
- Emma!

What's happening?

-Emma,
- Wait. Sweetie. Guys.

Fuckin' piece of shit!

Listen, we didn't mean
to spring it on you like that.

We were gonna go... Emma…

Well, at least I won't have
to get used to sleeping alone.

I wouldn't go there if I were you.

So…

we're doing it tonight?

Where will you stay?

I don't really know.
Dan has an extra room.

Dan? His place is disgusting.

- I don't suppose you want to move out?
- Don't put it on me.

Max!

-Max!

Hey, Max!

What do you want? I'm rocking out.

Go rock out in your own room

with your own headphones.
Nobody wants to hear this.

- That's not true.
- And leave your sister alone.

- Why are you always annoying her?
- See this space? Stay away.

So you're gonna tell Taylor about dinner.

- Then you're gonna talk to Max and Emma.
- Yes, yes.

Guys, Mom and I need everyone at…

-…dinner.

It looks a lot worse than
when we put it in storage.

What does it matter? It doesn't work.

It's kind of creepy.

It's got these scuff marks all over it.
Got a scratch up here.

Looks like the minute hand's missing.
You guys didn't drop it, did you?

- Not yet.
- Take it out down to the basement.

Taylor and I think we can fix it.

Taylor, are…

Wow.

That's incredible.

Don't touch it!

It's very fragile.

Oh, right, Of course. Uh…

Amazing.

There's a package here
for President Obama himself.

Well, well, that is amazing.

Why are you moving out tonight?

Taylor, were you listening
in on our conversation?

Because, you know, we've talked
to you about listening before.

Well, that is amazing.

Promise me that you'll never leave us.

Oh, God.

I love you and your sister,
your brother so much.

I never wanted…

Well, that is amazing.

Are things okay between you and Mom?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's fine.

No matter what happens…

I love you.

And your brother and sister very much.

Fist bump?

All right, I'll see you a little later,
all right? Oh!

Forgot my coat.

Hey, Eric!

Charlie.

- You have a plastic bag?
- No.

-Beth took a... never mind.

Hey, Devan. What's up?

I'm sorry, Mr. D, but I got some
not-so-great news about your apartment.

Apparently, Harry Styles called and wanted
your apartment for his L.A. pied-à-terre.

Offered a bunch of cash,
and they gave it to him. Not cool.

What? What are you talking about?

And I get it. I mean, I'm totally
a Styler, but also not cool.

No, no, no, Devan.

But the good news is I checked out another
place that we manage that you will love.

I could show it to you this afternoon.

- Great.
- Okay, well, then, let's go...

You're going to have misgivings,
part of the process.

- Here.
- Oh, thanks, man.

- How's Devan? Is he helping?
- Oh, yeah, he's a real go-getter.

Yeah. I don't know what I would
have done without him in my divorces.

Gotta have a bachelor pad.

Wait till you start putting
it to good use, right?

- How's Justin handling it?
- Who?

- Justin, your son.
- Oh, yeah.

Yeah. No, he's great.

I think our relationship's probably…
it's as good as it's ever gonna be.

You know, I'm gonna go get a latte.

Yeah, grab me one, too.

- Hey, Dad.
- God!

Oh, this is for a friend.

Terrible habit. I should... he should quit.

- Yeah.
- Why aren't you at school?

They canceled it.

You expect me to believe that?

I believe you were holding
that cigarette for a friend.

Fair enough. What can I do for you?

Well, I have these gift cards from
your last birthday that you haven't used.

- These?
- Yeah.

They're brand-new.

Unlike your smoking habit,
which I'm willing to keep a secret.

- If what?
- If you let me give you a makeover.

What? Me? No.

- What are you talking about?
- Dad…

Honey, I really do appreciate
the thought

and the general weirdness of
your sudden appearance here but...

Trust me.

You need one. Desperately.

Are you sure, honey?

- Yes, I'm sure. You look amazing.
- I don't feel like myself. Honestly.

Please. You just have to be confident.

But when you see Mom,
please tell her this was your idea.

- Okay.
- Okay? I had nothing to do with it.

You did it for her.

No, no, no, honey,
this isn't a good idea for me

- to be lying to your mother right now.
- No, you'll be fine. It's fine.

Oh, what happened to you?

You like it?
I just decided to change my look.

- In time for being single?
- No, I did it all for you.

I don't believe that.

Emma told me to say that.

She showed up at my work
and she gave me a makeover.

- Emma?
- Yeah.

- Well, wasn't she at school?
- She said it was canceled.

- That's weird.
- Yeah.

Tip of the iceberg.
Weirdest day I've ever experienced.

Well, maybe it's just 'cause
you know what's happening tonight.

Hey. Hello. What is the deal
with the Diehls?

I don't know. Let's find out.
Let's find out together. Come on in.

- How are you?
- Good. How are you? Thank you.

Great.

- So, um…
- Sorry. Family emergency.

So, this is happening tonight.

Mm. Mm-hm. I hear that. But what if…

What if it doesn't?

What do we have to do together
to keep you two from uncoupling?

I thought we were telling
the kids tonight at dinner,

- and that's what we've spoken about.
- Feels a little soon.

- Best not rush into things.
- I'm sorry, did something change?

- Because last week...
- Last week was so last week.

Am I right?

I say so many things, you know, words just
come out of my mouth. Just trying things.

But this week, I'm getting this vibe,
right, that you two are just great people.

Great people who can either,
hey, stay together

or make the same mistakes
with less great people.

I don't know, just spitballing here.
Why don't we just stay together, you guys?

Are you serious?

I'm detecting a little
bit of anger in that voice.

Well, you just turned around after months
of discussion and changed your mind.

True. I don't even know what I'm doing.

There's nothing there.
There's nothing there.

There's nothing there.

I know what I'm doing. I'm keeping
you two from burning it all down.

What are you doing? Putting out the fire.
Cooling you off.

Cool off.

How about a candy, you guys?
Let's sweeten the deal for the Diehls.

Oh, you just have a great last name.

I don't like my last name, but we can't
pick our Danish stepfathers.

Nothing was ever
good enough for him. I'm okay.

What about when he
spritzed us, with the water?

- What is wrong with this guy.
- That is so unprofessional.

Who… who recommended him?

Bill. Bill from your work.

- You're right. It was.
- 100%.

And by the way, you have lost,
like, ten years. This haircut is so cute.

Aw. Does that mean we're
touching each other again?

If so, maybe we go back
to the house, take a nap.

Are you serious?

We're still married.

-Some countries you'd have to.

Eric! Eric…

Turns out all I needed to do
to have a good nap was split up.

No wonder half the country's divorced.

Why did we stop trying?

I don't know.

It's just easier, right?

Just give into it. Entropy.

You ever think there's a way back?

What?

You ever think there…

What did you say?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Oh, yeah.

- Are you all right?
- Yeah, fine.

Ugh. I gotta make a work call.

- Got a new private.
- Mmm. Lucky guy.

- How do you know it's a guy?
- Lucky guess.

I'll leave you in private,
so you make your call. Private.

What?

And as you can see,
everything is up to the minute,

cutting-edge, state-of-the-art.

Everything that the modern, hot,
single man, especially with this look,

- could ask for.
- Okay, and I want to be clear about this.

- This place is available immediately.
- Oh, yeah.

It's all yours, no worries, and wait till
the new hookups see this place.

I'm talking muy enthusiastic
consent hombre.

- Okay.
- Okay.

And most of the residents are single,
so you don't have to deal with

any annoying kids.

All right. Right this way.

-All right, here we go.

And you are going to love
this place. Okay?

- Wrong number.

Oh, it gets a little malfunction-y.
Okay, hold on.

Let's do a little…
Here we go.

Welcome to your new bachelor…

Oh, my lord,

It was perfect this morning.

Yo, I'm sorry, Mr. Diehl.
We'll get this fixed up.

Have as good as new…

What am I doing?

Oh, God, I forgot about that yeah.
Who would put it there?

- Maybe a crazy man?
- What?

Were you two…

- What?
- Never mind.

Honey, Can we talk?

Who came up with the idea of a deadline?

Maybe we could do it next week

or a couple of weeks,
or the first of the month.

But you've talked about being in limbo.

Don't you want to move on
with your life as a single guy?

You know that's not what I want.

And if there's any chance that we can work
this out, isn't it worth waiting a moment?

Do you really believe that?

I know I haven't been
fully present for a while.

But, you know, ever since Taylor was born,

I'm like a ghost in this house.
I certainly fell off your radar.

I just… I have three kids who…

- We have three kids, Jen.
- So where have you been?

You're just so much better at it than me.

Especially with Taylor.
I could never reach him at all.

And I can never reach you. I just…

I don't know, just checked out, like I've
had one foot out the door for months.

But today something changed. Really.

God, I don't want to live my life without

my family, without my kids.
Without you.

How do I know you won't have one foot
out of the door again tomorrow?

I'm right here, fully committed.

And you'll let Emma keep dressing you?

Yes, I will.

- Oh, Emma, you can go to your party.
- Really? Yay.

Oh, that's a lot
of excitement for a party.

Oh, I mean, not going. I'm just happy,
you know, to have the option.

Okay.

Dad? What are you doing.

You know, my grandfather always
said the clock can help you now and then.

But it was always broken.

Could never figure out the gears
of the movements.

But look at that.

Galileo said that a pendulum
will stay in motion

unless a force acts to make it stop.

Otherwise, it'll just go forward and
backward and forward and backward.

Great grandfather would
be very proud of you, too.

Text from your realtor. Your new
bachelor pad is clean and ready.

I didn't want to do this in front of
the kids,

but so much for being fully committed.

No, no, no. This is a miscommunication.

This was supposed
to be a trial separation.

- You were gonna stay at Dan's.
- You said Dan's was gross.

I was trying to find a place that
was comfortable for the kids.

- Yeah, and for your new girlfriend.
- There's no new girlfriend.

- Just a lonely bachelor pad.
- There's no bachelor pad.

You better hope there is. Cause you
need somewhere to stay tonight.

And you know what?

It's lucky for you, you have
a packed suitcase under your bed!

- No…
- And I saw it!

Jen…

Jen.

Should I do the honors?

Does he look tired to you?

All right.

We steal his phone, that's great.

But we can't be in three places at once.

- Oh, God.
- Hey, guys. What are you talking about?

Nothing to do with you.

Why are you guys always
leaving me out of stuff?

-Ah!

Ow.

If I'm not in my room
or eating breakfast, he comes down here.

I don't want him involved with this.

- Involved in what?
- Have a nice trip.

You better… ah!

Ow. How'd you know that was gonna happen?

Taylor discovered that grandpa's
clock can turn back time.

Seriously? That's so cool.

Wait, no, no, no, stop.

No, no, no!

Woah!

- It really works.
- You can't tell anyone about this.

Please, just, I don't know,
go to school like it's a normal day.

But I want to help you guys
with whatever you're doing.

Think of us working together.

He turned back o'clock.
He's stuck with us now.

Fine.

Max, we can't afford any screw-ups.
This is a very delicate situation.

Mom and Dad are going to
break up at dinner if we don't do

everything exactly right.

Wait, what?

Pay attention. Max, the clock is aging.

It can't take much more.

This day may be our last chance.

Let me help. They're my mom and dad, too.

It's so obvious that Dad packed this
and not Mom.

Ten pairs of underwear and two shirts?

So both Max and Emma are sick today?

That's right. Thanks for your help.

That sounds so real.
It's even better than the Obama filter.

Hey, guys. What are you doing down here?

I'm gonna drive Max to school today,
so you're off the hook.

To school, but we just…

And, Taylor, honey, did you know that,
um, we're having dinner tonight?

We already told him.
We're all really looking forward to it.

It'll be so nice having dinner together
for a change.

- Yeah, it's been a while.
- Huh.

- Oh, shoot. Watch out.
- What?

Are you sure you can afford this?

We made $8,000 day trading this morning.

- Is that like drug dealing?
- No.

We knew which stocks were
going up in the first hour,

so I put all my
babysitting money into them.

Forget Mom and Dad. Let's go to Vegas.

We can get one of those high roller
suites and have a sibling camp out.

Hey, Mom. Teacher sent me from
school to get information for a report.

Max, what are you…

- Max, this is Richard, my student.
- What's up, bro? Cool duds.

Yeah, you can leave now.
Wait, don't be rude.

Right. Please leave now.

- I'm so sorry.
- No, it's cool.

It's cool. Yeah. Lil bro's on a mission.
Catch you later?

-Okay
-Tell me about your first date with Dad.

- How did you get here?
- I gotta get back to school.

Go. First date.

Um, okay, so, uh, your dad had tickets
to a symphony, and it was classical music,

which I'm not into, but I thought
he was cute, so I said yes,

and we went there,
and there was this concert hall,

and next to it was
a food truck selling beignets.

- What?
- Oh, a beignet. It's like a donut.

But they don't have a hole in it.

Anyway, so, you know, your dad
was like, "Oh, they smell so good.

We have to try one." We were running
late, but I was like, "Ah, okay."

Oh, God, I'll never
forget that first bite.

They was so delicious.
And then it started snowing.

It was so crazy, because,
like, it never snows in town.

And it was just so new.

And so exciting.

And it was just like…
The city, your dad, life.

It was just…

It was packed into this one
magical moment.

Are you okay?

Um, yeah.

Yeah, sweetie, I just hope that someday
you can experience that with someone.

Because it really was special.

Is it still a circle?

- What? Sweetie?
- Even without the hole. A beignet?

No, honey, it's shaped like a square.

Wait, what's this project for?

I have to go.

Wait, Max, how are you
getting back to school?

- Symphony, snow and a beignet truck.
- A what truck?

Like a donut but square and hole-less.

I have friends in a school orchestra,
but where do we get a beignet truck?

I have an idea about the snow.

- Does he even care about the fish?
- Oh, I was just taking him.

Max!

Oh… Nemo?

Oh, no!

I had nothing to do with this.
You did this for her.

No, no, no, honey, this is a good idea for
me to be lying to your mother right now.

No, you'll be fine.
It's fine. You're fine.

Harry Styles called and he wanted you
apartment for his L.A. pied-à-terre.

The good news is I checked out another
place that we manage that you will love.

You can see it right now.

We gotta go.
Dad's gonna be here soon.

Really? Not now. This is so fun.

This is so much fun.
I don't want this day to end.

Don't say that.

Okay.

Hey!

What the hell? What'd you do to my car.

Bumblebee stole my phone.

- The whole place is trashed…
- In position. Make the call.

Good job, Max. We'll finish everything
at home, you know what to do now.

Devan, call for you on my line.

It's Barack Obama.

What?

Hello?

- Is this Devan?
- Yeah, uh, Mr. President.

Devan, I've been trying to reach
you all day. I need a bachelor pad.

Well, what about Michelle?
Okay, well, are the girls coming?

Yeah, Malia…

Max man to base, mission accomplished.

Let's do this!

Yeah.

According to Find Your Phone, you stole…

- You're Jen's kid.
- It's Emma and Taylor's fault.

Let's go Bumblebee.

Oh, my God. This is amazing.

- Did you? I didn't... I…
- I did not. I swear.

Wow.

It was pretty fantastic that date,
that whole night.

- Yeah, it was.
- It was.

This is unusual. Smells good.

Sure does. Should we get a beignet?

Uh, sure.

- We're gonna have two beignets.
- Coming right up.

Dylan.

- All right, here you guys go.
- Where's Max?

They're just as good
as they were back then.

I thought I was too terrified to even eat
because I was afraid

you were gonna slap me
when I asked you to kiss me.

I would have kissed you
at any time during that date.

I probably would have kissed you at hello.

-Now you tell me.

So you didn't do this.
I didn't do this.

It was Max.

Our Max?

He grilled me
about our first date this morning.

- Wait, it's snowing?
- Snow.

This is fantastic.

I want to stay with you and the kids.

There's no other home for me.

I want you to stay too.

All right, Stuart Little, judgment day.

Max, what happened?

Find a Phone?

- I told you to turn it off.
- I forgot.

- You know this little dude?
- Yeah, he's my brother, unfortunately.

Neither of my parents are home right now,
so, uh, thank you for bringing him back.

- But I'll just take it from you here.
- Woah!

What's going on here?

- Nothing.
- Nothing?

Doesn't look like nothing.

So maybe your mom wants
to hear about this. Let's go.

No, no, no.

Let's go. Captain Klepto, tell your mom.

Oh, Richard. What?

- What are you doing here?
- Your kid stole my phone.

Max, is that true?

I'm sorry. Who are you? Who's this guy?

- My student.
- I'm a friend.

A friend or… Yeah.
How do you know my wife?

Okay, let's not do this. I just wanted to
let Jen know what her kid was up to.

Eric! Hey, I thought that was you, man.

All right. Seems to be, uh,
someone here has my phone.

I'm sorry. Who's this guy?

Devan Hayes, I'm Eric's realtor.

Realtor, really?

And that bachelor pad, it is ready.

- Wow. Are you kidding?
- You know what? It's all good.

- I'm just gonna get going.
- You want to go with him?

- Beignets anyone?
- Nobody wants a beignet.

Can they turn this off?

- Turn it back.
- Make this right.

Don't turn it back.

Your timing wasn't exactly great on this.

Do you need a lawyer?

Hold on, hold on,
Um…

Quiet.

Mom and Dad, all we've
been trying to do today

is figure out
how to keep you guys together.

And you keep on screwing it up.

Okay, Max. We can talk
about this inside at dinner.

No, we do not want to go to dinner,

because that's where
you always announce it.

Look, don't take my word for it.

Taylor's relived the day 38 times...

- Max, that's enough.
- And every time you screw it up,

Taylor has to rewind grandpa's old clock.

Taylor? No. Taylor, I told you I got this.

Max had some sort of seizure this morning.

Yes, Miss, I'm looking at it now, Doctor,
is there nothing we can do?

Best thing is to keep him calm.

No surprises or trauma of any kind.

- What hospital are you at?
- We're going to need a second opinion!

This is a real emergency.

Are you kidding? Nobody believes you.

God, I miss the days we used to put
thermometers on light bulbs.

You know I knew your girlfriend
back in the day…

Why would thieves only steal
a dining room table?

Why not jewelry?

In case your dad and I wanted to
talk to you all in the same place

- about something important.
- Yeah, this is important.

No excuses. We need everyone at dinner.

Your dad and I wanted to talk
to the three of you...

That's one million dollars.

And it's yours to keep, all you have
to do is stay married.

- Where did that money come from?
- FBI! Nobody move!

So your dad and I wanted
to talk to the three of you.

Well, I thought that went pretty good.

It was weird though,
it was like they already knew.

Can they... Hey, hey!

Woo-hoo!

Get back here!

Listen, we need everybody
at dinner tonight.

Amazing news, I just won a playwrighting
contest that includes

a four-year scholarship to college.

- Oh, honey, that's amazing!
- Congratulations Emma!

There's just one condition.

The parents of the winning student
have to stay married for all four years.

That's a very unusual condition
for a scholarship.

I mean, it's a religious foundation.
I think they just

want to promote marriage,
you know, but it's not a big deal.

You guys are married?

The American foundation
for Theater and Marriage?

I've never heard of this before.

- Oh, sweetie, that seems bogus. I'm sorry.
- Forget it.

- We'll have to do my research.
- No, forget it.

Wow!

- Weird.
- They think the foundation is bogus.

- We just invent a new foundation, right?
- We need to try cancer again.

- I know I can nail it this time.
- No, look at the clock.

We can't start over anymore.

If we don't do anything,
they're splitting up at dinner.

I know.

What do you think, Taylor?

Why don't you say something for once?

- I'm turning it back.
- Woah, Max. No, you're not.

- Stop.
- No clock-blocking, Emma!

- Oh, my God. Not until we try everything.
- We have tried everything.

- You're gonna waste a day.
- It's over, I'm doing it.

No, you're not.

Oh, God.

Guess that settles that.

We're stuck with today.

- It's not my fault.
- Of course it is.

This is why I don't want you around,
why I always avoid you.

You screw up everything.

Only because you never
think I can do anything.

You can't. You're a walking catastrophe.

- Both of you.
- Don't pick on him.

She didn't mean it, little bro.

I'm not turning it down.

Uh, no… I…

Actually want to collaborate.
If you're still talking to me.

I'm sorry.

All right.

Cool, what do you have?

All right, I'll write what we can say.

But the music part,
I'll let you take that over.

Great, yeah.

Uh, we could say, that, you know,

that they can't have each other
even though they deserve each other.

Max, this is so good.

It's like… it's like when pop songs
are really on upbeat,

but then you listen to the lyrics…

We'll need the decorations, right?
We're going to have to get the stage…

Hello?

- Hi, Mom!
- Hey. Take a seat.

Okay.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Dad. Take a seat.

All right.

This is the story of a couple,
Jan and Derek,

who have everything except for each other.

By the end of today,
they won't be a couple anymore.

Just can't figure out
how to live together.

Ready?

When one moment might
have changed everything.

When one moment
might have made sense of the rain.

That was, uh…

That was…

was…

What was that?

Mom?

Dad?

Sorry, I thought it was off.

We gotta do these
sibling campouts more often.

Yeah, once in a while. We don't
want it to lose its specialness.

Hey, we should probably
return these, right?

I'll see you at dinner.

Did he suspect anything?

Right, like, uh, did this clock
reset the same day 86 times

- before it exploded?
- I don't know, did he?

Hey, good morning. What are
you guys doing down here?

Um, we were just, uh,
helping Taylor clean up.

Mm-hm.

Such a bummer about the clock.
It just broke!

Come on guys, let's go.

Come on, bro, I saved you shotgun.

Taylor, come on!
We're late for school!

So, about tonight...

Nope, I'm going to the movies tonight.