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MARDI GRAS SPRING BREAK (2011)
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Why don't you tell us about
your first Mardi Gras.
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Well, it was the best Mardi Gras ever!
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00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:10,508
When we met, over 60 years ago, I was...
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It was the Rex Parade.
I was in the Queen's court.
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She was a beautiful princess.
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Howie asked me to attend
a ball with him later that week.
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I don't know what took him so long!
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Well, I was nervous.
I'd never seen such a beautiful creature, ever.
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I didn't give up the pussy till the fifth date.
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Kept me waitin' three weeks.
I thought my balls were gonna explode!
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They eventually did, all over my titties.
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Love those titties, honey.
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There they are, winkin' at me again.
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Sweetheart, I love you.
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Hey! That's all of 'em.
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Only one thing left to do.
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You sure about this?
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Nope. But if this doesn't work,
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I don't know what else will.
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God be with us.
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The social environment in contrast
to the natural environment
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plays a key role in self-perception.
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Your notes need some love.
25
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Your arm needs some love.
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You know, that's not
the only part of me that needs some love.
27
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,471
I hope we're thinking about the same part?
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Otherwise what I have in mind
could be incredibly awkward.
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For both of us.
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I think we're gonna be okay.
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There's a study group
at my apartment tonight.
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Is your place quiet?
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00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,430
Should be. Doubt Bump and
Scottie have anything going on.
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00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,199
Party! Big party tonight!
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00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,349
Oh, my God.
36
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,078
4029 Walnut!
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Beer and chips! It's gonna be huge!
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Yes!
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Everyone's gonna get laid!
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Rock on!
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- Did you know about this?
- No.
42
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But it is definitely
gonna get worse before it gets better.
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Please!
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I'll help.
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- Where's the music?
- It's not working.
46
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- Do something!
- Well, what am I supposed to do?
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Figure it out!
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Party tonight! Yeah, yeah.
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Gonna be sweet. Big party!
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Fun times, right? Okay!
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Rock on!
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- Son of a bitch!
- I got it!
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What the fuck?
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It won't turn off.
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Why is that even on there in the first place?
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It's... It must've skipped to my bath mix.
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You stupid bitch, do something!
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This is embarrassing!
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I'm freezing and my cock is so small!
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I look like a goddamn hamster!
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Fuck it.
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Excuse me. Pardon me.
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About how many
of you are there in this row?
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Fifteen, is that something?
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Gonna be beer!
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Gonna be food, gonna be chicks, yeah!
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- Hey, guys.
- Bump.
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Hey. Erica, so...
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We're having a big party
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and you know,
you should bring all of your friends.
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Only the hot ones!
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Hey, so just take one and pass it down.
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So I guess,
it's not gonna be quiet at your place after all.
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It's hard to say.
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Oops.
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Let me get that for you, sweetheart.
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No!
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How have you been able
to put up with this since high school?
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They're my best friends.
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Think it might be time for an upgrade?
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00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,753
Just in case somebody didn't get one, okay?
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Yeah.
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Don't forget! Free booze!
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Gonna be the greatest party of all time!
85
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This is the worst party of all time.
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Okay, guys, think I'm gonna call it a night.
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Maybe go kill myself?
88
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,479
Come on, Bump!
Look on the bright side, man.
89
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,630
Least we got enough
booze and food to last us the rest of the year.
90
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,312
This is bullshit!
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00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,318
We're second semester seniors,
and look at us!
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Well, what? What's wrong with us?
93
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Not you, "us." Us, "us."
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00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,029
Yeah, the two of us
who don't have an incredibly hot girlfriend
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00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,156
who's gonna come over
and screw us any minute now.
96
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,315
Oh, come on! You guys don't have it so bad.
97
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,197
I mean, at least I've been laid.
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Scottie's a goddamn
virgin who talks to his cock.
99
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,114
Okay, leave Max out of this.
100
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:45,670
I refuse to have a discussion
with a grown man who calls his penis Max.
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It's his name, what else would I call him?
102
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,395
A worthless appendage that gets no poon?
103
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,837
I don't know how
our social lives at this college got
104
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so shitty!
105
00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,915
Well, maybe showing
your anus to everyone in Behavioural Psych
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wasn't the best step forward.
107
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,599
This sucks.
108
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,634
I don't know how life could get any worse.
109
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,475
Despair. Destruction. Desolation.
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00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,949
Thankfully New Orleans
refused to give in to defeat,
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00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,519
and today the city thrives again.
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00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,158
Join us tomorrow night at 11:00
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00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:14,832
as our own J T LeBlanc
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reports the rebuilding effort
that continues there today
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even as the city
celebrates this festive Mardi Gras season.
116
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,676
That's it. That's what we have to do.
117
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,194
We should volunteer
in the Lower Ninth Ward?
118
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Are chicks into that?
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I'm talking about Mardi Gras.
120
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,029
This is the answer to all of our problems.
121
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I can't go to Mardi Gras.
122
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,234
I think you guys
are missing the big picture here.
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This is our chance
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to make up for
all of the "almosts" and "never wases"
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of the last four years.
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00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,715
Do you know what
I searched to get this page?
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Mardi Gras!
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This was the first page that came up.
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Are we grasping that point?
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00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,757
Bump, look, I'd love to go.
131
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I've got cousins that live down there.
But I'm not gonna just bail on Erica.
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00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,878
Mike! You're our wingman! We need you.
133
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,195
No!
134
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,880
Look, you don't have to do it for me.
135
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,918
You don't even have to do it for Scottie.
136
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,349
But think about poor little Max,
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00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,476
a ship before its virgin voyage.
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Dry docked.
139
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:15,719
Never even been wet before.
140
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Not even its little head.
141
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,678
- It's not little!
- Do it for Max.
142
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Think of it
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00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,632
as Max's Mardi Gras.
144
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The chicks!
145
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,553
My grandfather died.
146
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:30,834
Oh, my God, Erica!
147
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,231
I take it you came alone?
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00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,793
He meant so much to me.
149
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:38,949
I'll get a flight for the funeral.
150
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,268
No, no. I don't want you to do that.
151
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,477
I think I just need to be alone with my family.
152
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Just for a couple days.
153
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,239
I understand.
154
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,148
Can I do anything?
155
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,516
You could give me a snuggle.
156
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,994
And you could TiVo American Idol?
157
00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,514
Now she wants everything.
158
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,392
You are always there for me.
159
00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,391
I'm so glad that I have a boyfriend like you.
160
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:05,469
You're my rock.
161
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:06,993
That's my job.
162
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,038
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
163
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,316
I love you, too, also.
164
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:15,999
I'm sorry for your loss.
165
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,274
Your family's in our prayers.
166
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I'll text you.
167
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,877
This is fantastic!
168
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,155
Dude! Her grandfather died.
169
00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,196
And she'll be gone for days!
170
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,557
Lmagine a place, Michael, a magical place,
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where a man and his beverage
can walk the streets unaccosted.
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Where drunk, hot chicks come standard,
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and delicious boobies, they grow on trees.
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You guys hear that music?
175
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,034
So what's it gonna be?
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I'll go if you go.
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00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,710
If I go, and you tell Erica...
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Like she'd believe a word
I said anyway. Come on.
179
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:57,795
Well, I guess Scottie does need to get laid.
180
00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,313
So?
181
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,028
- Let's go to Mardi Gras, boys!
- Yes!
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Sorry about that.
183
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:46,759
So, look, guys,
I started mapping out a rough itinerary.
184
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,398
I... I was thinking
185
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,550
we could get tickets
to the Preservation Hall Jazz Band,
186
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,632
and if we have time, I'd love to take an
afternoon and go to the bayou.
187
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:57,076
There's this guy, Fred,
who's renting out airboats that...
188
00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:58,669
Tits!
189
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:04,669
Wow, that hurricane
was worse than I thought!
190
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,273
We've been lied to!
191
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,152
This city's not thriving!
192
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,035
Guys...
193
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,116
Hey, Mike, thanks for paying, bud.
194
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,952
- Did I have a choice?
- No. No, you didn't.
195
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:19,509
But no worries, man.
196
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,876
These things are like heroin at Mardi Gras.
197
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,153
It's a strict jewels-for-boobs operation.
198
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,959
You give a girl beads,
she shows you her delicious tits.
199
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,389
That's not cheating, right?
200
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,312
Last I checked, Mike,
201
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,197
seeing boobs wasn't cheating.
202
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:34,834
It was just plain incredible.
203
00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,393
What the hell are those?
204
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,710
- Bush beads.
- Bush beads?
205
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,916
They want these, they gotta show bush.
206
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,111
What's up with you, Scottie?
You didn't buy anything.
207
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,034
Oh, my God!
208
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:49,874
Jesus Christ, what is that?
209
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,514
It was my grandmother's.
210
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,875
See, I don't need a suitcase full of plastic.
211
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,428
Just one special necklace
for one special woman.
212
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:57,709
Gay!
213
00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:00,351
So what's the deal, boys? Next stop, hotel?
214
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,317
No. We're going straight to Bourbon Street.
Are you kidding me?
215
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,152
These guys have been drinking for days.
216
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:05,719
We got a lot of catching up to do, boys.
217
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,153
Next stop...
218
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:08,920
Paradise!
219
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:14,473
Hey, is this Mardi Gras?
220
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:15,913
I think so!
221
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,194
What time does it start?
222
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,315
I don't really know!
223
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,311
It's a good thing
we got all those beads, Bump.
224
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,312
You don't want used beads. It's classless.
225
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,473
Show your tits!
226
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:28,028
Sorry, boys.
We've just thrown a show down the street.
227
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,872
- A show?
- I got beads!
228
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,198
Got it, I got it, I got it, I got it!
229
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:33,909
Damn it!
230
00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:36,429
Oh, my God!
231
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,476
I'm fine. Thank you for asking.
232
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:44,869
Hey, listen.
233
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,477
I wouldn't be opposed to you earning them.
234
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,153
Hey, come on!
235
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,158
So, how does this work?
236
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,629
You give me these beads, I lift up my shirt,
237
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:56,870
you stare at my breasts
and what, we call it a day?
238
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,598
Absolutely not.
239
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,910
You lift your shirt, I stare at your breasts,
240
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,752
then I give you the beads and we call it a day.
241
00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:04,398
Wow, was I born yesterday?
242
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:05,959
Nice try, but no.
243
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,600
Come on, Lame Girl. Quit being so lame.
244
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:09,954
Listen, dickhead.
245
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,838
You think it's normal
for a girl to sacrifice her dignity
246
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,672
for four cents worth of plastic?
247
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,273
Isn't that just a little ridiculous?
248
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,512
If I say yes, do I get to see your tits?
249
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:25,549
Fellows, huddle up.
250
00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,198
All right now,
you brought me down here for a reason
251
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,269
and that's to have a good time.
252
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,316
So I think the best point of attack here is to...
253
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,634
Are you peeing?
254
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,591
You just pissed on my shoe,
for Christ's sake!
255
00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:35,908
Well, I thought that that
was why we were huddling.
256
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,389
Let me get this straight.
So you won't take a shit in a public restroom,
257
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,072
but you'll piss in the middle
of a crowded street?
258
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,354
I thought that's why we were huddling.
259
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,798
Bad Scottie! No!
260
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,918
Look, the best course of action is to go
straight down Bourbon Street...
261
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:47,989
I found her!
262
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:49,875
Where's Scottie going?
263
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,438
Shit on my tits!
264
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,672
That is Carmen Electra.
265
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:56,589
Hi.
266
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,519
Oh, my God!
267
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,433
Wow, these are really beautiful.
268
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:03,755
They're real.
269
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,075
So are mine.
270
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,349
You're the one.
271
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,152
Aren't you cute! Thank you.
272
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,039
What the hell just happened?
273
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,196
Did you just ask
Carmen Electra to see her tits?
274
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:18,509
That was Carmen Electra?
275
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,033
I gave her my necklace!
276
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,473
Your only necklace?
277
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,835
You just blew
your entire load on Carmen Electra?
278
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,035
Yeah!
279
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,315
Relax, buddy. It's gonna be all right.
280
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:28,594
At least you can say
281
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:31,194
that you gave
Carmen Electra a pearl necklace, right?
282
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,996
I think that the best thing to do here is to
283
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,833
warm up to these girls
a little bit, to get to know them...
284
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,592
- What the hell are you doing?
- Nothing.
285
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:39,795
Do you have insurance for this?
286
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:40,869
Boobs!
287
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,356
I gotta admit,
it's awesome to see a strange girl's breasts.
288
00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:53,199
I'd crawl a mile on broken glass
289
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,157
to suck the dick that fucked her last.
290
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,318
Shakespeare couldn't have said it better.
291
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:00,669
That's it.
292
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:01,749
Snuggle bear?
293
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,831
That's Erica! Code blue!
294
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,353
Scottie, let's go!
295
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:13,749
I don't understand.
296
00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,910
Whoa! Guests only, folks. Need wrist bands.
297
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:16,989
Okay.
298
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:18,069
I just don't understand...
299
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:19,229
- Just keep moving!
- I don't understand!
300
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:20,912
Mike, you get to see those every night?
301
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:24,830
Why isn't she picking up her phone,
what the hell?
302
00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,911
Hey, good extraction. Clean and effective.
303
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:28,749
It couldn't have been her, right?
304
00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,195
I mean, you know,
lots of people have a similar look.
305
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:32,995
How could she do this?
306
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,389
With her grandfather barely in the ground.
307
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:37,835
Right.
308
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,115
There's gotta be a good explanation, right?
I mean, I'm sure there is.
309
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,838
Yes. Erica is a lying whore.
310
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,035
With an amazing rack.
311
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,235
Shut up!
312
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,595
We're gonna get my car, go back to our room,
313
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:48,432
and find out exactly
what hotel she's staying at.
314
00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,158
That's gonna be a problem.
315
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,471
Where the hell is my car?
316
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:56,429
Damn it! My bush beads were in there!
317
00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:58,514
And your car...
318
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,752
Maybe we're on the wrong street?
319
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,353
No, no, no, no, we definitely parked here.
320
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,431
I distinctly remember that fire hydrant.
321
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,154
Oh, great.
322
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,431
Three more drunk college kids.
323
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:15,433
Actually, we're not drunk.
We just need to check in. It's under Smith.
324
00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,471
Well, I'm not finding anything.
325
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,472
When did you make the reservations?
326
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,549
Just yesterday.
327
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,073
We have been booked solid for six months.
328
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,316
Listen, Barry,
329
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,551
it's spelled S-M-l-T-H.
330
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:34,709
Nope.
331
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:35,949
Bump...
332
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,550
Tell me you didn't
drag me down here without a reservation.
333
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:41,718
Scottie, buddy, I gave you one thing to do.
334
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,950
Please tell me that you didn't screw that up.
335
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,515
No, I swear. It's all right here, okay?
336
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,590
The Chateau Burgundy,
three nights, three people, room 745!
337
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,797
745? That's impossible.
338
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:54,791
We only have three floors.
339
00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:58,993
- Well...
- Guys...
340
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,953
You must mean 7:45 p.m.
341
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,919
But feel free to confirm with the maitre d'.
342
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,157
You made a goddamn dinner reservation?
343
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:10,912
Okay, Mike. Obviously, you're a little upset.
344
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:11,989
Let me handle this, all right, buddy?
345
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,798
You made a goddamn dinner reservation?
346
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,917
Well, if you want to get technical,
I made three goddamn dinner reservations.
347
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,194
That sucks!
348
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,077
How do you think I feel?
Where am I gonna take a dump?
349
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,388
Where are we gonna sleep?
350
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:23,109
I'll call my cousins.
351
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:27,909
"Mailbox full."
352
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,514
All right, look,
let's think about this logically, okay?
353
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,354
We're three kids from strong,
middleclass suburban homes,
354
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:38,115
obviously we're not gonna
end up sleeping in some random alley.
355
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,230
- Jesus!
- Morning.
356
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:53,958
Morning, gents! How'd we all sleep?
357
00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,069
Where the hell were you?
358
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,957
I was picking up your car
and I got a cup ofjoe.
359
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,917
Want a sip?
It really takes the alley right out of you.
360
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,069
Guys!
361
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,755
I think it's time to go.
362
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:02,909
What?
363
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,228
I'm not having a good time,
364
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:05,992
and I'm not wading through
a million people to find Erica.
365
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,911
So let's just
get in my car and go back to school.
366
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,310
Scottie. Buddy, come on, help me out here.
367
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,080
I don't know, this vacation kinda blows.
368
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,315
I see, we have a little setback
369
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,833
and suddenly everybody's
ready to pack it in?
370
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,275
It's shaping up to be
more than just a little setback, Bump.
371
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,158
Look, I will be the first
to admit that yesterday was not ideal.
372
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,231
Carmen Electra
robbed Scottie of a family heirloom,
373
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,118
and Mike, your girlfriend
showed half of Louisiana her breasts.
374
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,997
Her wonderful, glorious breasts.
375
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,115
I'm done.
376
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,679
Mike, I know how you feel!
377
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,718
Because how you feel right now
is how Scottie and I feel every single day.
378
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,119
Well, not every day.
379
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,870
Some days. Mostly on the weekends
when people are hanging out and...
380
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,679
We brought you out here
because we needed you,
381
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,113
and now you need us!
382
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:46,352
Look, I admit, at the moment things feel
pretty shitty.
383
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,830
But remember how we felt yesterday?
384
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,878
When we saw those breasts?
385
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,520
- You mean, Erica's breasts?
- No!
386
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,917
Before they were Erica's breasts!
387
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,231
When they were just the two most
388
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,992
beautiful mounds
we've ever laid our eyes on.
389
00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,230
Okay, can we just stop talking about
my girlfriend's breasts, please?
390
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,309
Your ex-girlfriend.
391
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,834
I'm talking about a feeling, Mike.
392
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,277
A fleeting moment of Zen.
We can get that back!
393
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:10,715
We just need to work together.
394
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:12,552
Sure, we can go back to college, finish it out,
395
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,756
graduate in three months
and never know any better than this.
396
00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:16,239
There's that music again.
397
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:17,833
What if we didn't go back?
398
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,355
What if we vow not to go back
399
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,671
until we made Mardi Gras
our own personal playground?
400
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,795
What song is that?
401
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:27,348
Scottie, buddy, what do you want more
than anything else in this world?
402
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:28,714
Carmen Electra.
403
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,552
Let's not limit our sample size, okay?
404
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,189
Mike! Besides
a time machine and a shotgun,
405
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:35,269
what do you want the most?
406
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,119
Nothing? Not gonna help me? Okay.
407
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,519
'Cause I know what I want.
408
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,318
I wanna make my mark!
409
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:44,552
I want to rock the greatest party in the world!
410
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,069
I wanna make Mardi Gras my bitch!
411
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,032
Look, giving up is not an option.
412
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,918
I say we stay!
413
00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:53,191
I say we conquer!
414
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,958
I say, by midnight
Fat Tuesday, no matter what happens,
415
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:01,669
we're gonna be partying on one of those
sweet-ass Bourbon Street balconies!
416
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,875
How the hell are we gonna do that?
417
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,313
Are you with me?
418
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,391
I'll do anything to stop
the fucking music, okay?
419
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,438
Mike, please, trust me.
I'm not gonna let you down.
420
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,229
I don't know, man.
421
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,756
I didn't want to have to do this.
Scottie, show him.
422
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:20,669
You taped it?
423
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:21,829
I had to.
424
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:23,148
You see what she's doing there?
You see that?
425
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,754
She's gonna be doing that
every day, every night,
426
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,558
and then again, all day tomorrow.
427
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:28,869
Especially this part.
428
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:29,995
What kind of pep talk is this?
429
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,433
Look at that smile on her face.
430
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,272
She's so content, she's so happy.
431
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,078
You need to have that smile.
432
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,793
It's 7:00 a.m.
433
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,510
Where can we get a goddamn drink?
434
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,719
Bottoms up!
435
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,799
You're gonna get a disease.
436
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,118
Yeah, it's called alcoholism,
I should be so lucky.
437
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,519
Bump, maybe you should slow down.
438
00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,431
Maybe you should start drinking.
439
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,590
That's disgusting. You're drinking garbage.
440
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,714
A quarter. I'm actually making money.
441
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:07,869
You're an imbecile.
442
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,997
Okay, prima donnas, you got a better
idea how to get drunk at 7:00 a. M?
443
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,115
I'd love to hear it.
444
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,068
Elitists!
445
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,031
Getting an early start, boys?
446
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:20,872
You guys are pussies!
447
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,196
They wouldn't drink the trash!
448
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,518
I think I'm gonna be sick.
449
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,518
Well, pussies, let's get your cat up.
450
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,953
House drinks.
451
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,234
Got to love the Hurricane.
452
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,311
Well, on some level, exposing
453
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,391
the flaws and capabilities of our emergency...
454
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,708
Scottie! The drink!
455
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,228
You'd think they'd change the name!
456
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,839
Hey! Where you going?
457
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:47,589
Alpha dog, Mike.
458
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,149
Leader of the pack.
459
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,880
If we're gonna be the guys on the balcony,
460
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,030
we gotta show this city what's what!
461
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,959
I'm gonna hustle the shit out of these guys
like Paul Newman and Woody Harrelson.
462
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,276
I'm pretty sure
they were never in a movie together.
463
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,590
You shitheads think you can play pool?
464
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,432
I'm like Harrelson, baby!
465
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,272
You should probably take it easy with these.
466
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,154
I had a rough night.
467
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,278
Why is this called the "Hand Grenade"?
468
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:40,912
Hey, welcome back!
469
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:44,676
You've been out cold for two hours!
470
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,992
- Two hours?
- Yeah!
471
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,272
People just left me here on the stool?
472
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,918
Actually, no, no, no, no. Check it out.
473
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,794
Oh, Jesus!
474
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,074
I need some air!
475
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,069
Hey, it's Mike!
476
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,311
Hey, everybody, Mike's up.
477
00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:25,349
Erica?
478
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:27,312
How's your dead grandfather doing?
479
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:28,995
Oh, my God!
480
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,913
Wow! That's the best
pickup line I've heard all week.
481
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,274
Oh, my God.
482
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,557
This is... I'm so...
483
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,914
No, no, no, don't be.
484
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,831
So, what? I ask you about a dead relative
485
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,353
and then we just totally make out?
486
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,909
Mike. I need to borrow 1,000 bucks.
487
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,353
I can give you $18.
488
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,634
Close enough!
489
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,188
How do you do, madam?
490
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,077
Well, aren't you chivalrous!
491
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,749
I have no idea what that means, but yes.
It's quite long and big around, too.
492
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,552
So, I'm guessing
Mike's already told you about his girlfriend?
493
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,755
Bump, we literally just met.
494
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:01,829
No worries.
495
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,990
I'm pretty sure
she's not his girlfriend for much longer.
496
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:05,879
She lied to him,
497
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,151
and showed her tits to all of New Orleans.
498
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:10,231
Hey, don't you have a game to get to?
499
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,993
Yeah! Got these guys right where I want 'em!
500
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,833
For Joe-boy and Dante!
501
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:19,111
So, I hear your girlfriend lied and showed her
tits to all of New Orleans?
502
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:20,715
Where'd you hear that?
503
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,798
I'm sorry. That sucks.
504
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,111
Yeah, but I was asking for it.
505
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,031
Yeah, at Christmas
I hooked up with her sister.
506
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,269
Wow, really?
507
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,430
No! Actually I made a fruit salad.
508
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,317
And I took her nieces carolling.
509
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,079
Well, now it makes sense.
510
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,752
I mean, she's upset to find out you're gay.
511
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:38,953
Yeah. Some women
just don't appreciate a good gay man.
512
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,952
No, they don't. They definitely don't.
513
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,911
But you know, it could have been worse.
514
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,833
You could've found your boyfriend in
bed with his Russian Lit TA.
515
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:47,909
So...
516
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,833
I'm not actually gay.
517
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,311
Yeah, I was talking
about my boyfriend, genius.
518
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:54,794
Wow, you're slow!
519
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,799
I kinda like that in a man.
520
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:57,995
Ouch!
521
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,672
Anyways, my friends figure
Mardi Gras will cheer me up.
522
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,996
You know, getting drunk
and naked is the cure.
523
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,869
Well, in that case
my girlfriend's definitely on the mend.
524
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:09,628
Come on, we're going.
525
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,275
They're dragging me to the Frat House.
526
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:13,349
What's the Frat House?
527
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:17,513
Only the ultimate destination for incredible
bar contests and half-price beers.
528
00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:19,748
Well, have a good time.
529
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,195
Thanks. Lucy. Mills.
530
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:24,634
- I'm... I'm...
- Mike.
531
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:26,473
Yep. I got it.
532
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,031
Those gentlemen
take the game of billiards very seriously.
533
00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:39,634
What happened with your chick?
534
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,870
I don't know. She and her friends took off.
535
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,076
What? You blew it!
536
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:45,952
You do realise that entire conversation
537
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,600
was an l-wanna-potentially-
sit-on-your-face interview, right?
538
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:49,669
Really?
539
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:50,749
Well, what're you looking at me for?
540
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,239
I don't have any
business being in this conversation.
541
00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,072
Mike! You've gotta snap out of it!
542
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,118
If Erica's gonna show her tits to everyone
and probably blow a bunch of dudes,
543
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,317
then there's no reason
for you to be turning down fine tail like that.
544
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:01,992
You need to have fun!
545
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:03,275
I need to shower.
546
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:04,429
Great idea!
547
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,559
You guys go find a room, get changed,
go put your game faces on,
548
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:09,629
I'll get us a bunch of chicks.
549
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,234
We'll meet up in an hour
and rock this town like a hurri...
550
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,320
Like a thunderstorm.
551
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:22,795
During Mardi Gras?
552
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,911
Yeah, right! Hey, Larry.
553
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,194
Now listen to what they just asked me.
554
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:29,793
Ask me again. Go on.
555
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,199
We were wondering...
556
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,236
All right, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Let me get a straight face.
557
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:37,115
We were wondering...
558
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:39,909
No.
559
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,191
During Mardi Gras.
560
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,597
Hey, ask me again, come on.
561
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,072
Hey, are you the guys
that asked about the vacant room?
562
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,230
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Can you help us out?
563
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,517
That's really funny, douche bag.
564
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:19,910
Like eating fish in a barrel.
565
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,072
Ladies.
566
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,992
Let's see what we got here, huh?
567
00:25:35,120 --> 00:25:36,348
Sir, may I take your order?
568
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:38,715
Give me a Party Platter.
569
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,635
After all, I do like to party.
570
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:45,151
Sir, the Party Platter
is recommended for groups of six or more.
571
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,838
- Lame Girl?
- Dickhead?
572
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:49,675
What're you doing here?
573
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,160
So you like, live at Mardi Gras?
574
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,079
That's awesome!
575
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,790
As you can see, I've added to my collection.
576
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,713
If you see one that you like,
I definitely see two that I like.
577
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,039
Aren't you cute?
578
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,872
I remember my first beer, too.
579
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:07,914
I'll be right back with your order.
580
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:09,149
So!
581
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,909
I'm guessing three
beautiful ladies such as yourselves
582
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,911
could use someone
to show them a good time.
583
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,274
Hey, right?
584
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:16,469
Here you go.
585
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:17,549
Diet soda?
586
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:18,709
Tell you what.
587
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,472
If I polish
these babies off in five minutes or less,
588
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:21,595
you give me your number?
589
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:24,399
And how are either one
of those scenarios attractive to me?
590
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,030
They say these things are aphrodisiacs.
591
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,916
It's totally working, by the way.
592
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,958
The three of you
are giving me one hell of a giant boner.
593
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,319
Giant.
594
00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,519
Wow. Still batting a thousand, Romeo.
595
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,076
Listen, Lame Girl, by Fat Tuesday
all the beautiful ladies in this city
596
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,958
are gonna be lining up
for a piece of Bartholomew T. Brown.
597
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,392
Look, I say this out of compassion.
598
00:27:04,360 --> 00:27:05,509
Guys like you,
599
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,595
you come down here desperate for attention,
eager to overcompensate
600
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,433
for whatever
meagre existence you have in college.
601
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:13,873
I see it every day.
602
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:15,913
And it always ends badly.
603
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:17,434
Trust me.
604
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:20,109
Point taken.
605
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:21,872
Challenge accepted. Game on.
606
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,556
Mike, I really gotta go to the bathroom.
607
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,471
Max just went at the last hotel.
608
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,034
Jesus, now you've got me doing it.
609
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:43,111
Well, it's not Max this time, it's...
610
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,671
You don't have a name for your ass?
611
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:48,919
Who names their ass?
612
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:51,759
This is the place from last night.
613
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,235
Well, maybe they had
a cancellation or something.
614
00:27:58,520 --> 00:27:59,509
Hey.
615
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,672
A little early
for your dinner reservation, gentlemen.
616
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:04,429
We figured it was a long shot,
617
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,432
but we just wanted
to see if any rooms had opened up.
618
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,113
Let me just check.
619
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:10,869
No.
620
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,518
The baby's head is starting to crown.
621
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,038
Excuse me, sir, can you point me
towards your nearest bathroom?
622
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:17,997
The bathrooms are for guests only.
623
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:19,354
Please, it's... It's an emergency.
624
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:20,873
Then I suggest you call 911.
625
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,349
You don't understand.
This could do irreparable damage
626
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:24,475
to my lower intestinal...
627
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,710
- Meet me out front in 20.
- Hey!
628
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,149
Get back, don't...
629
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,314
Security.
630
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,913
One or two?
631
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,115
Definitely number two.
632
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:44,959
Hello. Are my eyes deceiving me
633
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,759
or are you two
dead ringers for the Olsen twins?
634
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,759
No fighting over who gets to be Mary-Kate.
635
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:53,998
How about letting me
have a sip of your drink?
636
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,115
Please, by all means.
637
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,713
Hey, Mike! Perfect timing. I was just thinking
638
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:00,472
that the four of us
should continue this conversation...
639
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:01,879
What's going on here?
640
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:04,269
We should probably just go.
641
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:05,918
No, no, no, bud. Let me handle this.
642
00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,228
Hey, listen, pal.
643
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:08,913
You're ruining our game.
644
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,673
Can't you see my boy and I
are working these girls?
645
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,637
You're "working them."
646
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,035
Big time.
647
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,317
We're trying to, you know, do them.
648
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,797
Look, there's three sausages and two ovens.
649
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:24,469
You do the math, big guy.
650
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:27,120
They are 15 and 16, for God's sake!
651
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:28,554
Three days we've been here,
652
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,757
and you're the 100th college guy who's
tried to get in my daughters' pants!
653
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:32,829
Daughters?
654
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,149
Did it work for any of them?
655
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,073
I've got a good mind to check out of our
hotel and go home right now!
656
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:39,195
Daddy, no!
657
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,269
Your dad's right!
658
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,399
This is no place for girls your age.
659
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,190
You don't need to deal with jerks like this
harassing your daughters all week.
660
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,474
And look at him, he's a slob.
661
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,073
If I were you,
662
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:52,195
I'd get out of here, too.
663
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,510
And you! You owe this man an apology!
664
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:57,638
He is obviously a responsible parent,
665
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,678
who understands that
impressionable young ladies
666
00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:05,390
should not be exposed to
what is going on here on Bourbon Street.
667
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:08,594
I'm...
668
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:10,954
Sorry?
669
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,119
Come on, girls, let's go.
670
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:14,474
And thank you. Come on!
671
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,039
Daddy...
672
00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:18,839
What the hell was that?
673
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:20,035
Watch and learn.
674
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,632
We'll need turndown service later.
Thank you.
675
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:01,349
Holy shit.
676
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:08,434
What're the odds?
677
00:31:11,520 --> 00:31:12,839
Well played, Michael.
678
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:16,799
Checking out early, sir?
679
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,069
Not early enough.
680
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,276
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
681
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:27,069
Hello?
682
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:28,434
You're never gonna
guess whose room I'm in.
683
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:29,913
- You're in someone's room?
- Yeah.
684
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:31,994
Come on, guess.
685
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,757
You'll never get it in a million years.
686
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,752
Tell me it's not Carmen Electra.
687
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,075
Yeah. How did you know that?
688
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:39,718
Because she just walked into the hotel.
689
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,438
What hotel? This hotel?
690
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:43,074
Finish up and get the hell out of there!
691
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:44,229
Done and done.
692
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:46,153
Please do come back, visit us again.
693
00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:47,434
Don't count on it.
694
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:52,793
I believe you have a vacancy?
695
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,389
Dude, what's up?
696
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,118
- It won't flush.
- What?
697
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,392
There is a turd
the size of a Norwegian cruise ship
698
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,232
stranded in the toilet and it won't flush!
699
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:08,749
Okay, relax.
700
00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,432
How am I supposed to relax?
It's Carmen Electra!
701
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:11,829
Jiggle the handle.
702
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:13,719
Don't you think I tried that?
703
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,109
How are they gonna know it's yours?
Just get the hell out of there!
704
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,879
It's getting so hot out there!
705
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:22,029
I know!
706
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,955
I can't believe how far we had to walk.
707
00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:46,758
Holy Mary, Mother of Christ...
708
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:48,672
We should wash up before the next parade.
709
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,678
- I'm gonna go take a quick shower.
- Okay.
710
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:09,796
I think the maid used our bathroom.
711
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:11,069
Gross!
712
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,639
Dominique, do you have the soap?
713
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:44,755
Yeah, it's right here.
714
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,030
Don't use all the hot water.
I want to take a quick shower, too.
715
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:13,548
I'll try, but you know
how bad these showers are.
716
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,711
I'll just jump in with you.
717
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,549
Gee, it's hot!
718
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:27,789
That's nice.
719
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:29,154
Don't get my hair wet.
720
00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:30,229
Will you wash my back?
721
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:31,639
- Sure.
- Thanks.
722
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:35,996
Your hands are so soft.
723
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:38,837
I wish I had your boobs.
724
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:41,309
Oh, stop it. Your boobs are gorgeous!
725
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,677
But yours are so perky.
726
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,710
Thanks, but I'd kill for that ass.
727
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:51,549
Not now, Max.
728
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,239
I trust you had yourself
a fine time trespassing.
729
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,319
I am so very sorry.
730
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,277
If I see you again,
731
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,994
rest assured I will be calling the authorities.
732
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:22,829
Okay.
733
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,672
Aren't you forgetting something?
734
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:27,269
That towel.
735
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,712
That's hotel property.
736
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,114
You do not want this towel.
737
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,031
I most certainly do.
738
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:36,076
- No, no, you do not want that towel!
- I want that towel!
739
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:37,554
- Just give me that towel.
- You don't!
740
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,870
I will have that towel, sir...
741
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,070
I will have the towel!
742
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:58,474
I'll show myself out.
743
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:04,510
Well, there's no sweet-ass balcony,
744
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,720
but you gotta admire
the craftsmanship of the bricks.
745
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:10,916
We got showers and beds!
746
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,111
It's fantastic! Did Scottie call?
747
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:16,749
Are you kidding me?
748
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:20,354
God damn it!
749
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:24,469
What's wrong?
750
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:26,399
Get cleaned up, buddy boy.
751
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,309
We're going out.
752
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,636
Who are you
and what have you done with Mike?
753
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:34,669
Showtime.
754
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:50,275
I don't even wanna know.
755
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:52,714
Dude, get out of there.
756
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,279
Something in that fountain smells like shit!
757
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:56,349
Hurry up. Dry off.
758
00:36:57,360 --> 00:36:58,429
Got somewhere to be.
759
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,193
Did you guys shower?
760
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,876
Okay, people,
we're about to start another contest.
761
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,349
Win passes to the hottest party in town!
762
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,477
All teams to the stage. It's the Maxim Party!
763
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:21,788
You don't wanna miss this.
764
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:23,757
We don't want to miss this!
765
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:26,192
It only happens once a year,
766
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:28,635
and this is your chance
to get in on the action!
767
00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:32,633
This is gonna be the biggest party ever
with all the hottest guys and girls.
768
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,199
You don't wanna
go home and tell your friends
769
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,271
that you didn't have
a kick-ass Mardi Gras, do you?
770
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,397
Don't miss this opportunity
to party like a rock star
771
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,313
at the most exclusive event in the city.
772
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:43,914
It's the Maxim Party!
773
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,157
All teams sign up
with Zane at the front of the stage!
774
00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,629
Hey, sailor,
what brings you to the ultimate destination
775
00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,711
for incredible bar contests?
776
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,028
And half-price beers.
777
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,276
Actually, I'm looking for
the girl I've been stalking.
778
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,475
She said she'd be here.
779
00:37:56,560 --> 00:37:58,232
Well, maybe you can
buy me a drink till she shows up.
780
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:00,837
Can't talk. Max has gotta pee. Hi.
781
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:03,349
So that's Scottie.
782
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:04,998
- Who is Max?
- It's his penis.
783
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,956
What, you and your friends
don't refer to your...
784
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,029
Vaginas.
785
00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:10,475
Mike, it's cool!
786
00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:12,630
All women name their vaginas.
It's endearing.
787
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:13,795
Really?
788
00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:15,074
No! It's creepy and weird.
789
00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:17,231
Why would we do that?
790
00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,470
Who can drink more beer than me?
791
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,435
No one!
792
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,353
Who's more amazing at life than I am?
793
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:25,954
No one!
794
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:28,509
Hey, Mike!
795
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:31,878
We've been friends since ninth grade.
796
00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:33,718
Really? That's great.
797
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:34,829
Yeah.
798
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,239
You know, good friends are hard to come by.
799
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:39,949
Apparently they're also
creepy, weird, and really loud.
800
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:41,308
What'll it be, guys?
801
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,389
Two of your largest, bluest
802
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:45,472
and most ridiculous
umbrella-laden drinks, preferably on fire.
803
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,229
How did you know my drink?
804
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:48,548
Everybody loves the Flaming Lucy.
805
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,269
Bump did something stupid.
806
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:51,509
And that would surprise me because...
807
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,431
All right, one last entry!
808
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,636
Please welcome to the stage
809
00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:58,598
Bump, Scottie, and Mike!
810
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:02,995
Come on! Maxim Party!
811
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,640
All the hot girls for Mardi Gras
are gonna be there.
812
00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:08,109
Remember. Free drinks, hot music
813
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:11,715
and, of course,
the special guest host is Carmen Electra!
814
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,555
We're doing this! We're doing this! Let's go!
815
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:16,269
Well?
816
00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:19,630
I don't really do this sort of thing.
817
00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:22,757
You know, I'm really
more the safe guy than the crazy guy.
818
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,197
Well, that's too bad,
'cause the girls and I are going to that party.
819
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:28,878
But, no, you play it safe. That sounds fun.
820
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,997
Check out yesterday's winner
for a preview of the action.
821
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,189
Lucy.
822
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:46,349
Meet Erica.
823
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:47,629
Erica, Lucy.
824
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,917
Looks like I have a contest to win.
825
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:53,839
Yeah, Mike!
826
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:58,239
Let the Wet T-shirt Olympics begin!
827
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:05,952
I'm feeling sexy now!
828
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:08,351
All right, neck to neck.
829
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,556
If you drop the orange, you're out!
830
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:12,549
Go!
831
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,190
To your right. No, to your other right.
832
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,032
Something still smells like shit.
833
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,675
Now it's getting hot.
834
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,555
We have a drop.
835
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:34,599
Sorry, ladies.
836
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:37,475
Yeah!
837
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:42,269
Sorry, ladies.
838
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:45,873
Three teams left. On to round two.
839
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:51,593
Show us your tits, show us your tits...
840
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:55,317
Now we are partying!
841
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,872
I don't wanna show 'em my tits.
842
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,235
Relax. Now,
when we're passing the orange next time...
843
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,356
Bring out the cherries!
844
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:03,875
This is gonna be bad.
845
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:05,234
Mouth to mouth!
846
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:06,793
Slowest team walks.
847
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:08,109
Go!
848
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,716
Well, the girls are off to an early lead.
849
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,476
Our guys seem to be lagging behind.
850
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:16,754
Thank God!
851
00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,118
The guys are going for it.
852
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,794
Grab it! Suck it out of my goddamn mouth.
853
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:23,792
Come on, girls, please don't let us down.
854
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,233
We need you!
855
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:28,595
Oh, Jesus!
856
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,476
We have a drop. Great!
857
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,551
Another team of girls eliminated.
858
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:37,996
God bless America!
859
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,033
Oh, come on!
860
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:56,511
Two teams left. Three beautiful ladies...
861
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,836
And three stupid losers who
are ruining this for everyone.
862
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,878
Don't you listen to that glorified carnie.
We got this in the bag!
863
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,590
You know this is gonna be a great party!
864
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,240
VIP entry. Bottomless drinks.
865
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,592
Speaking of bottomless,
I think it's time to take it up a notch!
866
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,868
I told you this was gonna be hot, didn't I?
867
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:20,837
Now this is more like it!
868
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,715
What kind of misogynist contest is this?
869
00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:25,468
Look, there's no shame in quitting.
870
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,118
Eat me, douche bag!
871
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:28,792
We're gonna be champions of the world!
872
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:30,548
Scottie, take off your pants.
873
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,796
- Oh, no.
- Look!
874
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:34,916
There are more of those at the party.
875
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:36,592
And Carmen's gonna be there!
876
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:37,669
Okay, I'm in!
877
00:42:47,240 --> 00:42:50,755
You know, you're allowed
to switch to boxers when you turn 13.
878
00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,717
- I hate you.
- I know you do, old friend.
879
00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:54,753
Come on, Mike, take it off!
880
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,430
Don't worry, hope isn't lost yet.
881
00:42:58,200 --> 00:42:59,235
Bring it on!
882
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:02,674
Let's show the girls
how much we love them.
883
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,674
Zane, bring out the bananas!
884
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:07,669
Bananas?
885
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:08,749
I don't mind being a virgin.
886
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,353
Shut up. It can't be that bad.
887
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,273
You're gonna pass it from here to here,
888
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:15,112
and end up here.
889
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:17,714
And of course, no hands allowed.
890
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,392
Okay. It's completely horrible.
891
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,591
Fastest team gets the passes. Go!
892
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:27,792
This is more like it!
893
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:29,075
Damn, that's hot.
894
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,353
Okay, boys.
895
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,196
All right,
we are winning this goddamn contest!
896
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:43,912
All right, the girls are way ahead.
897
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:45,549
All right, Bump.
898
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,039
Do me quick and professional.
899
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:52,273
Wait, you guys are actually going for it?
900
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:53,349
Oh, Jesus!
901
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:54,429
Okay, please watch it.
902
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:55,915
No!
903
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,230
Scottie! Turn around and take it like a man.
904
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:05,158
- I quit!
- Get him, Mike!
905
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,110
Come on, girls, faster! Get in there!
906
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:12,792
Oh, my God, no! Please! Can't we... No, no...
907
00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,510
Close your eyes. It'll go faster.
908
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:19,959
I love you, buddy.
909
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:21,629
No!
910
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:23,438
Yes!
911
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:25,678
Congratulations to our winners.
912
00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:27,079
Thank you.
913
00:44:29,400 --> 00:44:31,038
More sausage for the party.
914
00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:32,593
Way to go, crazy man.
915
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:33,949
So I guess I'll see you tonight?
916
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:35,474
Count on it.
917
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:42,520
This party better be amazing.
918
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:53,839
Back of the line, boys.
919
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:57,515
Stop right there.
We're VIPs. We're on the list.
920
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:00,874
Everyone over there's on the list.
921
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:06,554
About how long
do you expect we'll be waiting in line?
922
00:45:06,760 --> 00:45:08,193
I think you know the answer to that.
923
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:10,469
- Have fun.
- What the hell,
924
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,039
you just let in those guys with the chicks.
925
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:14,355
Chicks.
926
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,431
What do you mean? We've got chicks.
They're in there.
927
00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:19,310
I know. "Everyone's got chicks in there."
928
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:23,553
I took a banana up my ass.
929
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,114
Step aside, guys. You're not gettin'
in without girls and costumes.
930
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,796
Okay, new plan.
931
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:32,195
We head back to Bourbon Street,
932
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,874
and don't stop drinking
until somebody vomits all over Scottie.
933
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:36,473
- Who's in?
- I took a banana up my ass!
934
00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:38,437
Guys! Guys, guys!
935
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,315
We're goin' to this party. I'm seeing Lucy.
936
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,914
We're not gonna sit around
some crappy bar, drinking cheap beer,
937
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,592
pretending like everything's perfect.
All right?
938
00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:47,511
- That's not why we came down...
- Did you hear that?
939
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:50,796
I think Mike's balls just dropped!
940
00:45:51,760 --> 00:45:54,354
Listen, while I appreciate your enthusiasm,
941
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:55,759
that line's not moving.
942
00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:58,957
Plus, you heard the man. We're not getting in
there unless we've got some tail.
943
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:00,549
Well, I got an idea.
944
00:46:01,240 --> 00:46:02,992
So what do these
cousins of yours look like?
945
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:04,593
What? You're picky all of a sudden?
946
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:05,795
But yeah, are they hot?
947
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:07,348
Well, I haven't seen them since they were 10,
948
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,193
but from what I remember,
hopefully they've improved.
949
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:11,429
Well, this sounds lovely.
950
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:14,755
I don't care how they look,
they're still my family.
951
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:15,829
You treat them right.
952
00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:20,355
Cousin Michael?
953
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:27,830
I'm gonna make a large
donation to a charity of your choosing
954
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:28,909
if you just let me suck on one...
955
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,670
Janice, Cousin Mike is here!
956
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:33,955
Cousin Mike!
957
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:35,954
It's been so long!
958
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:38,753
Wow!
959
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,956
Twins? He didn't say they were twins.
960
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:42,673
Twins are always hot. Always.
961
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:45,149
I think Mike's family's
a little closer than most, right?
962
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:46,993
They're pretty close. It's...
963
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:48,593
Okay... That's enough.
964
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:49,955
So...
965
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:52,390
These are my friends, Bump and Scottie.
966
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:53,469
Hi.
967
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,596
Need a place to crash?
You could share my bed.
968
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:56,669
Or my bed.
969
00:46:56,760 --> 00:46:58,990
It's just a little small,
but we could squeeze together.
970
00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:01,871
Actually, what we were
talkin' about was maybe
971
00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:03,075
hittin' up this costume party later tonight,
972
00:47:03,240 --> 00:47:04,639
and I didn't know
what you were up to tonight...
973
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:05,789
We'd love to go!
974
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:07,917
Let's get some costumes.
975
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:09,149
Great!
976
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:11,040
Jackpot!
977
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:14,469
These are gonna be so crazy.
978
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:16,596
These... And you're gonna get
the same exact one as me.
979
00:47:17,720 --> 00:47:20,234
Normally, I'd be disgusted
by the idea of incest.
980
00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:23,638
But quite honestly,
if you don't bang the shit out of those two,
981
00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:25,233
I'm gonna punch you right in your face.
982
00:47:26,240 --> 00:47:28,037
- They're my cousins.
- I don't care!
983
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:29,429
We're right next to Mississippi.
984
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:31,954
If we don't get any traffic,
I'll have you there in an hour,
985
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:33,678
and you'll be married
to one of them by midnight.
986
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:34,954
I need to borrow you.
987
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:39,828
I hate you.
988
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:42,794
Oh, God!
989
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:44,233
- What?
- What're you doing?
990
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:47,073
We need a family member's perspective.
991
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:48,599
Yeah, what do you think?
992
00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,236
You are both beautiful.
993
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,193
We want your opinion on our costumes!
994
00:47:57,280 --> 00:47:58,998
We want to make sure
our outfits are appropriate.
995
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,749
You both look, you both look very good.
996
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,114
Does my butt look okay in this?
997
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:04,269
I gotta go.
998
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:05,469
But you just came.
999
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:06,908
Almost.
1000
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:11,315
'Sup?
1001
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:13,794
What the hell are you supposed to be?
1002
00:48:13,920 --> 00:48:16,388
A giant hotdog.
What the hell does it look like?
1003
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,710
The classy, genteel
Southern Plantation Owner.
1004
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:19,789
You look ridiculous.
1005
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:21,359
Thanks, I appreciate that. Unfortunately,
1006
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:23,271
this store only had
one costume left in my size.
1007
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:26,477
So, considering what my options are,
I think I look quite dignified.
1008
00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:30,589
Jesus, Scottie,
what the hell is taking you so long?
1009
00:48:30,680 --> 00:48:31,669
Just pick one, already.
1010
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,433
This is really important. The right
costume could get me to second base.
1011
00:48:34,520 --> 00:48:36,511
Wrong costume... It could be deadly.
1012
00:48:37,000 --> 00:48:38,479
Well, there's obviously no contest.
1013
00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:40,118
- Get the Smurf.
- Smurf?
1014
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,632
Really, I was kind of thinkin' Cowboy.
1015
00:48:42,720 --> 00:48:44,551
Scottie, Smurfs are awesome.
1016
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:47,274
They're cuddly,
they're there for you on a rainy day.
1017
00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:49,476
What about that suggests
that you won't get any?
1018
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:51,108
Everything?
1019
00:48:51,720 --> 00:48:54,598
You know what, I'm goin' Cowboy.
Cowboys are rough and rugged.
1020
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:58,275
Okay, this costume says, "Watch out, ladies,
I deal with horses and Indians."
1021
00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,751
Yeah. It also says, "If left alone on a
snowy mountaintop in a pup tent,
1022
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:02,829
"I might do a dude."
1023
00:49:03,720 --> 00:49:04,709
What?
1024
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:06,279
Cowboys are gay!
1025
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,198
- When did that happen?
- Are you serious?
1026
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,032
Scottie, do you remember when New Kids on
the Block was cool for like a week,
1027
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,350
and then it became totally, utterly gay?
1028
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:17,589
Not really.
1029
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,271
Same thing's happening here.
Cowboys jumped the gay shark.
1030
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:23,756
You know, Bump?
I'm gettin' the Cowboy, all right?
1031
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,720
Okay. Well, we'll swing by a drugstore,
pick you up some body spray,
1032
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:28,400
and a pack of ass condoms.
1033
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:44,478
I wonder if Erica called.
1034
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:49,715
Oh, my gosh! I am so stupid.
1035
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:51,269
What?
1036
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:53,313
I forgot to put my panties back on.
1037
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:54,549
- Janice...
- I know.
1038
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:56,119
I am such a scatterbrain!
1039
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,475
I think your phone's poking me.
1040
00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:13,358
Sorry about that.
1041
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:16,515
You gotta be kidding me.
1042
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:18,318
Wait for it...
1043
00:50:23,720 --> 00:50:24,948
Have fun.
1044
00:50:28,760 --> 00:50:30,352
What... You said that if I brought...
1045
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,668
Two girls, two guys.
1046
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:33,273
No. Guys?
1047
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:35,239
Guys!
1048
00:50:58,520 --> 00:50:59,999
Don't say anything!
1049
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:02,634
Hey, where's Bump?
1050
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:04,712
Must be getting drinks.
1051
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:06,678
Mikey, we wanna dance.
1052
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:09,589
I'll...
1053
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:15,110
Hey, thought that was you guys.
1054
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:18,909
So, listen, I sort of
have this arrangement with the bouncer,
1055
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,877
he's a good friend of mine from the gym.
1056
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:24,589
Anyway, I was wondering, how would you
lovely ladies like to cut the line?
1057
00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,713
- Yeah. Yeah, sure.
- Yeah, sure, great.
1058
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:30,711
Yes. Awesome stuff.
1059
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:35,158
So, I wasn't sure
if you'd recognise me in this outfit.
1060
00:51:35,240 --> 00:51:37,435
We had that moment at the oyster place.
1061
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,513
You four together?
1062
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:42,749
Not him.
1063
00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:46,993
So that's how it is? Fine!
1064
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:51,073
I hope you have a good time at the party.
I don't wanna go anyway.
1065
00:51:51,160 --> 00:51:52,309
'Sup, ladies?
1066
00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,113
Hey, Carmen, it's me!
1067
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:13,273
Hey, Carmen! It's me, too!
1068
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:17,875
We don't need her, bro.
She's not that hot, anyway.
1069
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:20,589
This one?
1070
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:24,511
I didn't mean it. She's hot as shit.
1071
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:27,908
Miss Electra
requests your company in the VIP room.
1072
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:48,069
Lucy!
1073
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:51,029
Mikey, come back!
1074
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:57,469
Hey!
1075
00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,870
I thought that was you
dancing with the hotties.
1076
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:01,429
Those are just my cousins.
1077
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,630
All right. You got a lot of weird
shit goin' on, don't you?
1078
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:06,029
You don't know the half of it.
1079
00:53:13,880 --> 00:53:14,869
Dance with me?
1080
00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:17,429
Okay.
1081
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:33,156
I'm beginning to thank Bump
for draggin' me down here.
1082
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:49,759
- Hey, come here.
- No!
1083
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:53,353
Don't come back!
1084
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:57,513
I'm prepared to
make a civil rights issue out of this!
1085
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,511
Dudes are people, too.
1086
00:54:00,560 --> 00:54:01,549
Hey!
1087
00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:05,239
Say, great costume.
1088
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:08,319
Thanks. I like your whole
Colonel Sanders thing.
1089
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:12,758
I have a brilliant idea, and 100 bucks.
1090
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:14,434
Excuse me?
1091
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:22,869
Hold on a minute.
1092
00:54:22,960 --> 00:54:26,555
It's okay. My girls are already inside.
I'm the anchor.
1093
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:27,755
- The anchor?
- You know,
1094
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:29,478
the chick some asshole's gotta bone
1095
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,597
so his boy can do her hot friend. C'est la vie.
1096
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:36,637
Dude, go home.
1097
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:38,830
Look who it is, the big winner!
1098
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:41,195
What're you supposed to be, a douche bag?
1099
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:45,710
I was gonna put a cock
in my mouth and go as your mom.
1100
00:54:45,960 --> 00:54:47,757
Let's do the Sprinkler.
1101
00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:49,194
Ready?
1102
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:52,713
All right. All right, I can get behind that.
1103
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:54,279
All right.
1104
00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:59,193
- What is this?
- Shopping cart.
1105
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:00,634
Shopping cart!
1106
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:10,668
So I told Harrison Ford,
"Don't you talk to me like that, Harrison Ford!
1107
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:12,318
"Do you know who you're talking to?"
1108
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:13,594
But he's a doll.
1109
00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:16,708
So what does a stylist do, anyway?
1110
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:18,392
What doesn't a stylist do?
1111
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:22,551
Pick out makeup, hair, shoes, clothes.
1112
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:25,110
By the way, I love your little outfit.
1113
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:26,953
Giddy up.
1114
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:30,713
Oh, here! Have more champagne.
1115
00:55:30,800 --> 00:55:31,835
I'm... I'm good.
1116
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:33,359
I did, one, two, three, four...
1117
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,192
- And then, five...
- Don't be a pussy.
1118
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:39,039
Can I borrow your friend for a second?
1119
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:42,428
Hi.
1120
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:43,829
You havin' a good time?
1121
00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,750
- Yeah.
- Listen, I have a confession to make.
1122
00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:48,154
I lost your necklace.
1123
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:50,549
I found it.
1124
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:51,675
What are the odds? That's...
1125
00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:52,909
That's what I said!
1126
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:56,315
It must be fate.
1127
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:58,677
I have to go
make an appearance on the dance floor...
1128
00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:00,398
You know anyone that might be interested...
1129
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:02,389
Then let's go.
1130
00:56:13,200 --> 00:56:15,509
This is one of the best
parties I've ever been to.
1131
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,510
Yeah. It's pretty cool.
1132
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:26,629
Mike?
1133
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:29,433
- What're you doing here?
- Me?
1134
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,076
Is your grandfather
feeling better all of a sudden?
1135
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:33,629
Mike, maybe I should just...
1136
00:56:33,720 --> 00:56:34,709
No, one second, Lucy.
1137
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:37,238
I sent your family flowers.
1138
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:40,633
And the next thing I know,
you're flashing all of Mardi Gras!
1139
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:43,833
Okay! Okay, you're right. All right, I lied.
1140
00:56:45,240 --> 00:56:46,719
I'm sorry.
I just didn't think you'd understand.
1141
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,269
What wouldn't I understand?
1142
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:52,078
It's our senior year.
I mean, all the girls were coming down here...
1143
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:53,799
It's my last chance to blow off some steam.
1144
00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:57,959
So that's what this is about.
1145
00:56:58,040 --> 00:56:59,359
Your friends drag you down here...
1146
00:56:59,720 --> 00:57:02,792
You see me flash a couple of guys,
and now, you're pissed.
1147
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:04,393
So, you kiss this girl to get back at me.
1148
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:08,514
Come on. That's not my Mike.
1149
00:57:09,120 --> 00:57:10,712
Well, maybe you don't know the real Mike.
1150
00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:14,074
Oh, yes, I do.
1151
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:18,314
Goodbye, Mike.
1152
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:26,233
Let's go back home, and everything will go
back to the way it was before.
1153
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:28,358
If we hurry, we can still catch Idol.
1154
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:29,914
Whoa, wait a minute.
1155
00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:30,989
I don't wanna watch Idol.
1156
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,196
Okay. Well, we can watch
something else then.
1157
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:35,352
I don't wanna watch something else.
1158
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:37,112
I don't wanna do any of that any more.
1159
00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:40,238
I wanna be right here, at this party.
1160
00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:42,556
Because this is me, Erica.
1161
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:45,512
What are you saying?
1162
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:46,874
It's over.
1163
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:52,474
What're you gonna do?
Run to your little slut?
1164
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:56,789
If I wanted a slut, I'd stay here with you.
1165
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:01,794
What?
1166
00:58:03,960 --> 00:58:05,188
Lucy! Wait.
1167
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,111
Look, you don't need to explain, I get it.
1168
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:08,589
We all have our roles, Mike.
1169
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,269
- And that's your girlfriend.
- Lucy...
1170
00:58:11,360 --> 00:58:12,839
I'm just a girl you've known for 24 hours.
1171
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:15,275
Lucy, I'm sorry, you... You don't understand.
1172
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:21,073
Have fun at the party?
1173
00:58:21,760 --> 00:58:23,113
Where the hell have you been?
1174
00:58:24,600 --> 00:58:27,068
Funny you should mention that.
1175
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,675
Right out here where you left me.
Thank you so much!
1176
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:33,479
I was worried
I might actually partake in my own plans.
1177
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:35,358
Well, I'm sorry, all right?
1178
00:58:35,800 --> 00:58:36,949
I got bigger problems to deal with.
1179
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:39,156
Bigger problems
than leaving your best friend behind?
1180
00:58:39,240 --> 00:58:41,276
Well, my best friend
would have listened to me
1181
00:58:41,360 --> 00:58:43,351
when I said I wanted to go back to school.
1182
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:47,270
Whoa, wow!
Are we really back on that again?
1183
00:58:47,360 --> 00:58:51,672
Look! If you weren't here,
Erica still would've shown her fun bags,
1184
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:54,558
and you'd still be kissing
the ground that she walks on!
1185
00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:56,233
Nothing has changed.
1186
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:58,072
Well, maybe ignorance is bliss.
1187
00:58:58,240 --> 00:59:00,959
You can't possibly believe that shit!
1188
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,918
You know, Mike, in some messed-up way,
1189
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,992
this is the best weekend of your life,
and you have me to thank for it.
1190
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:10,989
Well, thank you, Bump.
1191
00:59:11,320 --> 00:59:15,518
Thank you for being
the obnoxious novelty act that you are.
1192
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:24,755
Okay, Mike. Good luck.
1193
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:29,436
Somewhere in this city,
there are people worthy of my friendship.
1194
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:38,475
Where the hell is Scottie?
1195
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:14,876
You're my only friend, beignet.
It's just you and me.
1196
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:26,879
Sorry, we're closed.
1197
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:31,915
Oh, baby.
1198
01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:35,432
This is not a good look.
You know, that dress makes you look fat.
1199
01:00:37,160 --> 01:00:39,037
I'm gonna ask you something, Lame Girl.
1200
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:41,752
Would you say I'm a novelty act?
1201
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:45,069
Ask me that again.
1202
01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:48,871
I'm sorry, were you fishing for sympathy?
1203
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:53,629
Okay.
1204
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:56,712
I'm probably gonna regret asking, but...
1205
01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:57,789
What's wrong?
1206
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:01,518
I just try to show everyone
a good time, you know?
1207
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:03,830
Is one awesome weekend too much to ask?
1208
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,873
You know, if you'd been nicer to me,
I'd be more inclined to help your cause.
1209
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:10,868
I have been nothing
but nice to you since the moment we met!
1210
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:12,798
You call me Lame Girl!
1211
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:17,119
Okay.
1212
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:22,593
You...
1213
01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,309
You have nice eyes, Ann Marie.
1214
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:35,391
Tonight, you're off duty. I'm in charge.
1215
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:39,031
It's time you saw the real Mardi Gras.
1216
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:42,029
Put on a clean shirt.
1217
01:01:57,520 --> 01:01:59,397
See? Isn't this great?
1218
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:01,357
Yeah. Yeah, it's... It's great!
1219
01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:04,151
When are we going back to Mardi Gras?
1220
01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:06,630
Bump, this is Mardi Gras!
1221
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:09,670
Look, you see that man leadin' the band?
1222
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:12,513
He's been doin' this for almost 40 years!
1223
01:02:13,440 --> 01:02:15,749
Mardi Gras is not Girls Gone Wild.
1224
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:17,512
It's not just tits and beads.
1225
01:02:17,760 --> 01:02:20,069
It's about family, tradition.
1226
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:23,434
Come on, show me what you got!
1227
01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:33,432
Right. Too soon.
1228
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:38,312
Hi. May I speak with
the hotel operator, please?
1229
01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:40,074
Thank you.
1230
01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,108
This is Mike Morgan.
I'm inquiring about a guest.
1231
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:47,595
I was wondering
if you have a Lucy Mills staying there.
1232
01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:50,988
No?
1233
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:53,399
All right. Thank you.
1234
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:57,273
Mills. Mills!
1235
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:59,073
Lucy Mills!
1236
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:00,718
My tone?
1237
01:03:00,800 --> 01:03:02,950
You've got a problem with my tone?
1238
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:06,237
Well, my tone has a problem
with your... Hello?
1239
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:08,880
Hi, this is Lucy Mills.
1240
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:11,952
I'm trying to track down Mike Morgan.
1241
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:13,589
Thank you.
1242
01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:18,473
Will you please hold on a moment?
I am actually... I'm getting another call.
1243
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:23,069
- Hello?
- Hello?
1244
01:03:24,080 --> 01:03:26,355
- Hello? Hello...
- Hello? Hello.
1245
01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:28,477
Hello...
1246
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:34,158
I am not the one causing
the problem here, sir.
1247
01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:36,196
And frankly, I don't think this is any way
1248
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:37,269
for you to conduct your business.
1249
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:40,909
So, I would like you
to please patch me into your supervisor.
1250
01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:04,629
Where am I?
1251
01:04:10,360 --> 01:04:11,588
Carmen!
1252
01:04:12,120 --> 01:04:15,999
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1253
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:20,359
Yes!
1254
01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:24,558
Max, you did it.
1255
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:27,553
Good morning, my angel!
1256
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:31,953
It may be a good morning,
but it was a great evening, sweetie.
1257
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,556
I can't believe you're even awake!
1258
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:51,110
After that performance,
you deserve to sleep for a week!
1259
01:04:52,720 --> 01:04:53,914
Now...
1260
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:57,312
You've gotta eat at least some of this.
1261
01:04:57,800 --> 01:04:59,199
You need to build up your strength.
1262
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,190
Someone was quite the tiger, hmm?
1263
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:05,513
I don't remember anything.
1264
01:05:05,600 --> 01:05:09,912
So you don't remember Security calling
because of all the noise you were making?
1265
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:11,988
Noise?
1266
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:14,594
They said
it sounded like the Fourth of July in here.
1267
01:05:15,320 --> 01:05:17,436
I don't... I'm feeling queasy.
1268
01:05:20,760 --> 01:05:21,909
Juice?
1269
01:05:22,440 --> 01:05:23,793
Max, you're gay?
1270
01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:40,953
- Thank you.
- Sir.
1271
01:05:46,080 --> 01:05:47,195
- Bump, you know, I didn't...
- Me, too.
1272
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:49,396
Okay, let's not do the whole thing.
I rule, you rule.
1273
01:05:49,480 --> 01:05:52,631
You're not an asshole, I have
overcompensation issues et cetera, et cetera.
1274
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:53,829
Okay.
1275
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:54,909
Rough night?
1276
01:05:55,520 --> 01:05:58,239
I was a moron.
And I gotta make things right with Lucy.
1277
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:01,153
Broad story, I'd offer to help you out,
1278
01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:02,958
but my vagina's in the shop.
1279
01:06:03,520 --> 01:06:05,556
Truffle? They're really fabulous.
1280
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:06,629
No, thank you.
1281
01:06:09,240 --> 01:06:14,633
So I hung out with this chick last night,
and she's pretty lame, but I don't know...
1282
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:15,789
There's something about her.
1283
01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:18,030
Do I sense feelings from Bump?
1284
01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:19,235
Let's not go overboard.
1285
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:21,276
I'm definitely capable
of getting a hotter chick.
1286
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:22,475
I mean, don't get me wrong,
1287
01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:25,438
she's probably like a six-and-a-half,
maybe a seven on a good day.
1288
01:06:26,160 --> 01:06:28,276
She's a little old,
but I figure she's got a couple of years
1289
01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:29,873
before she hits the wall.
1290
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:31,429
Gonna introduce me?
1291
01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:35,357
You are lucky
I even give you the time of day, fat boy.
1292
01:06:36,200 --> 01:06:37,872
Ann Marie. Charmed.
1293
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:42,151
See that? Kind of lame,
but kind of somethin'.
1294
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:44,512
- Scottie!
- Where the hell have you been?
1295
01:06:44,680 --> 01:06:46,796
All right. I'm just gonna
get this out in the open.
1296
01:06:47,320 --> 01:06:48,639
Max had sex last night.
1297
01:06:49,040 --> 01:06:50,473
Oh, my God! Congratulations!
1298
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:52,118
- This is huge!
- That is awesome, man.
1299
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:53,189
With a dude.
1300
01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:54,469
Can I help you?
1301
01:06:54,560 --> 01:06:57,313
If only you could.
But my penis just isn't that into you.
1302
01:06:58,240 --> 01:06:59,639
Guys, I know it's a lot to digest,
1303
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:01,831
and I've given it
a lot of thought, and it's not all bad.
1304
01:07:02,280 --> 01:07:03,269
On the one hand,
1305
01:07:03,360 --> 01:07:06,113
I'm gonna have a clean apartment,
beautiful clothes, washboard abs,
1306
01:07:06,200 --> 01:07:09,033
and I'll finally be able to admit that I know
every word on the Wicked soundtrack.
1307
01:07:10,240 --> 01:07:11,719
Plus I'll be having a shitload of sex!
1308
01:07:12,320 --> 01:07:14,151
On the downside, it'll be with guys.
1309
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:16,629
So, you know, there's that, but
whatever, it's four to one. Right?
1310
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:18,519
That's a pretty big one.
1311
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:20,472
So you're gay! Whatever, right?
1312
01:07:20,560 --> 01:07:22,073
The point is, you got laid!
1313
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,355
Yeah. You got laid.
1314
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:26,709
That's awesome.
1315
01:07:26,800 --> 01:07:28,028
Yes! That's really great.
1316
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:30,157
You're gonna pound so much... Butt.
1317
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:32,790
But just so we're clear,
I'm... I'm not gay. You know?
1318
01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:35,317
- You're... You're not?
- No, no, Max is the gay one.
1319
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:38,075
I'm a straight man living with a gay penis.
1320
01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:40,749
I'm Scottie, by the way.
1321
01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:42,432
Baby, you're gay.
1322
01:07:44,440 --> 01:07:48,274
Well, guys, I guess this is Fat Tuesday.
1323
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:50,316
So much for that Bourbon Street balcony.
1324
01:07:50,400 --> 01:07:52,789
Could be worse.
At least we're all together, right?
1325
01:07:53,400 --> 01:07:55,436
A balcony? Is that all y'all want?
1326
01:07:55,880 --> 01:07:56,949
Come on, fellas.
1327
01:07:58,680 --> 01:07:59,829
Come on!
1328
01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:13,031
Hello, Tommy. Band these guys.
1329
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:15,518
- What's goin' on?
- I have no idea.
1330
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:17,671
That's gonna clash. Do you have it in yellow?
1331
01:08:20,200 --> 01:08:21,679
- Good evening, Ann Marie.
- Hey, Carl!
1332
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:23,478
- Hey, Ann Marie!
- Hey, Laura.
1333
01:08:27,360 --> 01:08:28,679
Who are you?
1334
01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:33,589
How's this?
1335
01:08:34,720 --> 01:08:36,278
My dad's the hotel manager.
1336
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:38,192
I get this room every Mardi Gras.
1337
01:08:38,280 --> 01:08:39,998
Are you shitting me!
1338
01:08:41,440 --> 01:08:44,557
You know,
you're not entirely lame after all, Lame Girl.
1339
01:08:44,920 --> 01:08:47,036
I was only gonna invite a few friends over.
1340
01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:48,589
Unless you have a better idea.
1341
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:53,794
Gentlemen...
1342
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,991
What do you say to a little soiree?
1343
01:09:35,480 --> 01:09:36,959
Yeah, baby!
1344
01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:40,635
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yes! For you!
- Wow!
1345
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:49,829
What the fuck?
1346
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:52,079
All right, I've had enough.
1347
01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:53,229
I'm gonna go find Ann Marie.
1348
01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:54,799
Whoa! What about your balcony?
1349
01:09:55,120 --> 01:10:00,069
Mike! Sometimes the best part
of the party isn't the party.
1350
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:01,229
You know what I mean?
1351
01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:03,278
I know exactly what you mean.
1352
01:10:03,360 --> 01:10:04,349
That doesn't even make sense!
1353
01:10:04,440 --> 01:10:06,590
What's the best part
of the party if it's not the party?
1354
01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:09,669
I don't even know what you're talking
about... Is this a straight thing?
1355
01:10:09,760 --> 01:10:10,749
Scottie!
1356
01:10:12,080 --> 01:10:13,115
Carmen?
1357
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,311
Get down here, you silly boy!
1358
01:10:15,560 --> 01:10:16,549
Me?
1359
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:18,392
Yeah, get down here now.
1360
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:21,073
Listen.
1361
01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:23,871
If I don't make it back alive,
1362
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:25,473
you tell the world Scottie Smith got laid.
1363
01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:26,988
All right.
1364
01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:28,479
Maybe leave out the part
about it being with a dude.
1365
01:10:33,240 --> 01:10:34,389
Scottie!
1366
01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:36,632
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1367
01:10:37,040 --> 01:10:38,029
What are you doin', bro?
1368
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:52,113
Are you okay? I...
1369
01:10:52,200 --> 01:10:54,236
Yeah. I'm fine.
1370
01:10:54,320 --> 01:10:55,514
Where did you disappear to?
1371
01:10:56,080 --> 01:10:57,798
I was a little uncomfortable.
1372
01:10:58,200 --> 01:10:59,997
I think it was his first three-way.
1373
01:11:01,960 --> 01:11:03,393
A three-way?
1374
01:11:04,280 --> 01:11:05,269
You were there?
1375
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:06,634
Yeah, silly.
1376
01:11:07,360 --> 01:11:08,759
- With Jonathan?
- Jonathan?
1377
01:11:08,840 --> 01:11:11,354
No. Jonathan has a boyfriend.
1378
01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:14,229
But isn't he great?
1379
01:11:14,440 --> 01:11:16,032
I'm so glad you guys had a chance to talk.
1380
01:11:16,120 --> 01:11:17,439
I asked him to bring you breakfast.
1381
01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:19,839
Who... Who was the third?
1382
01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:23,639
Max.
1383
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:27,549
You mean, you, me, and Max?
1384
01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:30,554
You mean...
1385
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:32,919
I'm not... He's not...
1386
01:11:36,160 --> 01:11:37,479
Mike!
1387
01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:38,629
Max isn't gay!
1388
01:11:39,040 --> 01:11:40,632
Hey, all right, man!
1389
01:11:40,960 --> 01:11:44,475
Max isn't gay! Max isn't gay!
1390
01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:50,551
I had sex with Carmen Electra!
1391
01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:03,034
Lucy!
1392
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:04,475
Lucy!
1393
01:12:09,440 --> 01:12:11,715
Your friends do know
there's an elevator, right?
1394
01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:20,233
Lucy!
1395
01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:21,594
Lucy!
1396
01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:29,433
Lucy!
1397
01:12:29,520 --> 01:12:30,509
Lucy!
1398
01:12:30,920 --> 01:12:32,069
Lucy, can you hear me?
1399
01:12:32,160 --> 01:12:33,149
Hey! You suck!
1400
01:12:34,200 --> 01:12:35,792
Lucy!
1401
01:12:35,880 --> 01:12:36,869
Where are you, Lucy?
1402
01:12:36,960 --> 01:12:39,428
Lucy, where can you be?
1403
01:12:39,520 --> 01:12:40,555
Lucy!
1404
01:12:40,640 --> 01:12:42,119
Lucy!
1405
01:12:42,200 --> 01:12:45,112
Lucy! Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!
1406
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:47,432
Come on, man! I'm trying to find this girl.
1407
01:12:47,520 --> 01:12:48,509
Lucy! Lucy!
1408
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:50,318
Guys, please, please! Cut it out.
1409
01:12:50,680 --> 01:12:51,715
Her!
1410
01:12:53,600 --> 01:12:54,589
Lucy!
1411
01:13:00,640 --> 01:13:01,755
What do you want?
1412
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:02,829
You!
1413
01:13:03,840 --> 01:13:04,829
What?
1414
01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:06,433
He wants you!
1415
01:13:07,240 --> 01:13:08,958
What about your girlfriend?
1416
01:13:11,480 --> 01:13:14,438
Do you see me hijacking
a parade float to talk to her?
1417
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:17,197
You said last night
1418
01:13:17,280 --> 01:13:18,998
that we all have our roles.
1419
01:13:19,480 --> 01:13:22,153
What I didn't know
is that I've been playing a role
1420
01:13:22,240 --> 01:13:23,798
for far too long.
1421
01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:25,315
A role that isn't me!
1422
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:27,028
So who are you?
1423
01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:28,309
What?
1424
01:13:28,400 --> 01:13:30,391
Who are you?
1425
01:13:30,560 --> 01:13:32,516
I'm the guy you met yesterday.
1426
01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:35,831
The guy who, who kissed two
dudes with a cherry in his mouth.
1427
01:13:35,920 --> 01:13:38,559
The guy who deep-throated a banana!
1428
01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:41,268
That's not what it sounds like.
1429
01:13:41,360 --> 01:13:43,430
Mike! We've only known each other for like...
1430
01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:45,750
Thirty-nine and a half hours!
1431
01:13:47,360 --> 01:13:50,511
Now, I know last night was crazy,
and I know things could've gone better.
1432
01:13:50,880 --> 01:13:53,872
But I have never felt this way before.
1433
01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:56,155
And I will do anything to prove that to you!
1434
01:13:56,760 --> 01:13:57,749
Show your tits!
1435
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,192
Show your tits!
1436
01:14:00,280 --> 01:14:01,759
Show your tits!
1437
01:14:02,280 --> 01:14:03,395
Guys, come on, now. Let's...
1438
01:14:03,480 --> 01:14:06,552
Show your tits! Show your tits!
1439
01:14:28,480 --> 01:14:29,799
Fuck it.
1440
01:14:39,240 --> 01:14:40,468
Cousin Mike!
1441
01:14:43,480 --> 01:14:44,959
Yeah!
1442
01:14:53,080 --> 01:14:54,274
You've earned these.
1443
01:14:55,360 --> 01:14:56,475
Not yet.
1444
01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:02,236
I'm gonna have to ask for these back now.
1445
01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:07,112
Will you please stop that?
1446
01:15:08,440 --> 01:15:10,158
Get up here and make me!
1447
01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:34,519
What happened to playing it safe?
1448
01:15:35,040 --> 01:15:36,075
Safe sucks.
1449
01:15:48,040 --> 01:15:49,359
Whoa!
1450
01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:50,475
Yeah.
1451
01:15:51,480 --> 01:15:52,833
Hi, Mike.
1452
01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:54,069
I saw your penis.
1453
01:15:56,120 --> 01:15:57,348
That was very upsetting.
1454
01:15:58,680 --> 01:15:59,999
Hi. Big fan.
1455
01:16:00,400 --> 01:16:01,958
I'm a big fan.
1456
01:16:02,240 --> 01:16:03,593
So where're we going for spring break?
1457
01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:05,193
Rio, baby!
1458
01:16:05,400 --> 01:16:06,799
All right,
I have been talking to a bunch of people,
1459
01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:07,915
and they all say the same thing.
1460
01:16:08,000 --> 01:16:10,878
They got a Mardi Gras that's way more,
way more messed up than this.
1461
01:16:11,480 --> 01:16:15,393
Plus, Brazil's doing some
really good things with vaginas these days.
1462
01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:17,635
What, too far?
1463
01:16:17,720 --> 01:16:18,709
I'm heading to Cancun.
1464
01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:21,519
Cancun? More like cannot-stop-taking-shits.
1465
01:16:21,600 --> 01:16:23,113
You ever drink the water
down there, Carmen?
1466
01:16:23,200 --> 01:16:24,394
What about Daytona Beach?
1467
01:16:24,480 --> 01:16:25,959
Yeah. Or South Padre.
1468
01:16:26,040 --> 01:16:27,871
Guys, guys, guys!
1469
01:16:27,960 --> 01:16:29,234
We're coming back to New Orleans!
1470
01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:32,756
The greatest goddamn city in the world!
1471
01:16:32,840 --> 01:16:33,875
To Mardi Gras!
1472
01:16:33,960 --> 01:16:35,279
- To Mardi Gras.
- To Mardi Gras!
1473
01:16:35,600 --> 01:16:36,874
Mardi Gras!
1474
01:17:07,480 --> 01:17:08,879
It was so good seeing Cousin Mike.
1475
01:17:08,960 --> 01:17:11,633
I know, it was so sweet of him to come visit.
1476
01:17:11,720 --> 01:17:13,472
I wish he could've stayed longer.
1477
01:17:13,560 --> 01:17:15,994
Me, too. It was sad to see him leave.
1478
01:17:16,320 --> 01:17:19,118
You know, this is gonna sound kind of weird,
1479
01:17:19,960 --> 01:17:22,394
but there was one thing
I wanted to do with him.
1480
01:17:23,840 --> 01:17:25,114
Do you know what I'm thinking?
1481
01:17:25,280 --> 01:17:26,315
Totally.
1482
01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:27,594
Apple picking!
1483
01:17:29,120 --> 01:17:31,509
- That would've been so great.
- I know.
1484
01:17:33,720 --> 01:17:35,039
Also, I wish he would've fucked us.
1485
01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:36,155
Big time.
1486
01:17:39,800 --> 01:17:43,839
What has two thumbs, a hard-on,
and wants this guy to get laid?
1487
01:17:44,640 --> 01:17:45,709
This guy.
1488
01:17:45,800 --> 01:17:48,917
Who has more better odds in life than me?
1489
01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:50,749
Oh, boy.
1490
01:17:57,760 --> 01:17:59,796
They want these, they gotta show bush.
1491
01:17:59,880 --> 01:18:01,029
They gotta show a little pussy bush.
1492
01:18:01,120 --> 01:18:02,633
Gotta show a little vag bush.
1493
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:04,073
Vag pussy bush.
1494
01:18:16,760 --> 01:18:17,954
I thought that...
1495
01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:19,109
I didn't get my line out.
1496
01:18:20,320 --> 01:18:22,231
Hey, you got a lot of...
1497
01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:23,828
Which fucking floor?
1498
01:18:23,920 --> 01:18:24,909
Number two.
1499
01:18:31,360 --> 01:18:33,590
I wanna make Mardi Gras my bitch!
1500
01:18:37,720 --> 01:18:39,995
I know you lost your mind, little white boy.
1501
01:18:40,240 --> 01:18:41,912
Gonna take you more than $100.
1502
01:19:23,800 --> 01:19:24,915
No!
1503
01:19:26,080 --> 01:19:27,149
Hang on, one more.
1504
01:19:28,160 --> 01:19:29,354
No!
1505
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,270
She lied and showed
all of New Orleans his tits.
1506
01:19:39,360 --> 01:19:40,793
- Hey, don't you have a game?
- His tits?
1507
01:19:41,760 --> 01:19:43,751
Her tits. Jesus Christ.
1508
01:19:47,480 --> 01:19:48,469
Fuck!
1509
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,230
Fuck, the bow tie just fell off!
1510
01:20:01,480 --> 01:20:04,392
I remember the first time
I got an erection on the set.
1511
01:20:04,840 --> 01:20:06,239
It was tonight, Duane.
1512
01:20:12,600 --> 01:20:14,158
Join us tomorrow...
1513
01:20:14,240 --> 01:20:15,355
Crap.
1514
01:20:15,440 --> 01:20:17,556
All of a sudden
the shit scene's looking good, huh?
1515
01:20:30,240 --> 01:20:31,719
Coming through.
1516
01:20:57,440 --> 01:20:59,237
The chicks! They came back!
1517
01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:03,999
My grandfather died.
109657
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