Original subtitles

Here is a partial list

of all the items destroyed in the fire.

As you can see, the garage is almost a total loss.

Although it does free up the weekend I set aside

to organize it.

Yeah.

Uh...you see, my nephew C.J. was deep frying a Turkey --

excuse me, am I keeping you?

You are the insurance adjuster. This is your job, isn't it?

I'm sorry, it's the day after Thanksgiving.

I got a Turkey sandwich waiting at home with my name on it.

Well, I have leftovers here.

I'm sure they're not as good --

all right, you twisted my arm.

Bridget, C.J., this is frank, the insurance adjuster.

He's here to help us file our claim for the fire.

Don't forget to tell him about my new car that was in the garage.

And I had $10,000 cash in the glove compartment.

I understand you were deep frying a Turkey

and the oil caught fire.

Sir, that is a lie!

And I will not stand for that kind of character assassination!

I am a man of -- C.J. --

I already told him that the Turkey fryer exploded.

Oh...well, yeah.

Okay, let me just put this in the micro

for 30 seconds.

Do we have any idea what caused the Turkey fryer to explode?

Let me think.

I keep going over yesterday in my head.

Oops.

I'm sorry.

Are you sure there's nothing I can do?

No, the whole point was to give you Thanksgiving off.

Your job is to relax and do nothing.

Which, by the way, is harder than it looks.

No one puts in the hours like you do.

Mom...you're in my work area.

Well...all right, fine.

If anybody wants me, I'll just be relaxing in the living room.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not in the living room.

That's where I'm gonna deep fry the Turkey.

In the living room? Everybody, listen up.

If anyone bumps this fryer

and oil spills in the propane flame,

there's gonna be an explosion so big

even grandpa might hear it.

So I can't let anyone in here with something this dangerous.

Every possible precaution has to be taken.

Wouldn't it be safer to do it outside?

Are you high? It's freezing out there.

I said it's freezing out there!

Fine.

You guys having fun?

Oh, come on, grab that!

That's supposed to be our best receiver.

He couldn't catch a disease in a...

Horribly cold place.

Excuse me!

This was left within my t.F.S.P. --

Turkey fryer safety perimeter.

Anything left inside must be either removed...

Or d.F.'D.

Deep fryed! Stay close, people.

What happened to the new football I gave you?

Principal gibb confiscated it.

Gibb.

What'd you do?

Nothing.

You must have done something.

Sure, stick up for your boyfriend.

He's not my boyfriend.

Fine -- man toy.

I'm not dating ed gibb...

Or making him my man toy.

Why not go out with gibb? Huh?

He seems like a cool guy.

He is a cool guy. He's actually a great guy.

It's just -- he's --

I don't know, he's too...

Mean. Wimpy.

Goofy. Annoying.

Impotent.

C.J., you said you liked him.

I did, I just jumped in. It looked like fun.

Shh! Fourth and 2, they're gonna go for it.

Come on, lions. Come on.

You think it's gonna help your team by fondling your hat?

I'm tapping!

I only fondle during overtime.

Hey, the picture went out!

Heaven's sakes.

Maybe you should fondle the TV.

Fondle the TV? This isn't baseball season!

Okay, after the apples we add a something of butter.

A stitch?

God, grandma's handwriting is so bad.

Wait, wait -- a stink. A stink of butter.

What? No, it says a stick of butter.

Oh...no. Pretty sure it says "stink."

It says "stick." Just go take it out.

Sounds like you're the one that needs to take out the stick.

Let's each just make our own pies.

Fine by me. Give me that!

You don't need it. You can't even read.

Well, you can't reach!

Are you girls fighting?

I'm just training her, mom. Jump, scruffy, jump!

We're fine, mom! Everything is under control.

The fryer!

False alarm! False alarm!

Nothing to worry about!

I just need this and maybe this.

Please, isn't there something that I can do?

Okay, fine, we need something from the store.

Yes, we do. We need...

Va-- is that a "g"?

"N" -- vanilla.

I'm not even gonna tell you what I thought that said.

Ed?

Cate? Hi!

Happy Thanksgiving. You, too.

What are you doing here?

Well, my kids are at home making the whole dinner.

They just made up some errand to get me out of the house.

I just love this holiday. What's your family doing?

Well, my kids are skiing in vail

with my ex and their new stepfather, Marc.

Marc with a "c." Like I care.

But it's good. It's very good.

Well, it's not that good, but it's...

It's pretty good.

Well, if you're alone,

why don't you come to my house for dinner?

No, no, I wouldn't want to impose.

Come on, it's no trouble.

Just follow me. I'm in the blue minivan.

That's really sweet, Cate, but I'm fine.

One of the benefits of being single again

is that I've become extremely handy in the kitchen.

I intend to make myself quite the Thanksgiving feast.

Are these your Turkey dogs?

Well, yes, they are. Thanks.

Bet they're not eating like this in vail.

Uh...blue minivan.

I'll be right behind you.

Cate, wait, wait.

It was lovely of you to invite me to dinner,

but are you sure this is a good idea?

I am your kids' high-school principal.

That doesn't mean they don't like you.

And your father did punch me in the nose.

That doesn't mean he doesn't like you.

Oh, look, ed.

We both know that that was a misunderstanding.

Come on, you're welcome in my home,

and I'm sure my family feels the same way.

Hi, everybody.

Look who I brought home for Thanksgiving. Hi!

Oh, and I thought this was going to be awkward.

Ed, why don't you go to the restroom.

But I don't have to -- it's right over there.

This is not the way we treat guests in this house.

Mom, you were supposed to pick up vanilla.

You don't get much more vanilla than ed gibb.

We're sorry, but you brought our principal back to the house.

Get used to it. He's her man toy now.

All right, I've had it! We're just friends.

Look, he's here because he had nowhere else to go,

so when he comes out, I want everyone to say something nice.

Hey, you nose seemed to have healed up nicely.

Principal gibb, welcome.

Happy Thanksgiving.

I got a wing with your name on it.

Don't get carried away.

Rory?

Nice day for football.

I'm sorry, he's still upset

'cause you took away his football.

He drop-kicked it across the cafeteria

and into a vat of chocolate pudding.

I'll go talk to him.

So, um...Need any help there?

Are you some kind of engineer?

No, I -- so what, then?

You think I need help because I'm old? No, I really --

well, let me tell you something, college boy.

If you hit me again,

I am not coming for Christmas.

Come on, C.J.,

just throw the ball with me for five minutes.

Do I look like I have time for tomfoolery?

Ed, you sure I can't get you something?

Oh, no, I'm fine. I'm just watching the game.

You're watching a broken TV.

I'm a lions' fan -- it's less painful this way.

Actually, I'm just sitting here thinking about

all the things I'm grateful for this holiday.

My kids, my job, my health...

And you, Cate.

Me? Why me?

You've been a good friend.

You take me into your home,

you show me warmth and hospitality.

Out of my chair!

Ew! Your filling sucks!

Yours smells like a wet dog.

Is there a problem?

There is one crust and there are two fillings.

And the pie crust is gonna be mine.

No, the pie crust is mine!

Girls, stop fighting.

I am now refereeing a pie fight.

I feel like the mother of amish teens.

I'm okay.

Uh, dad, maybe you want to unplug that first.

Oh, relax, Cate.

These little zaps make me feel alive.

Fireflies!

I'm gonna go keep an eye on him.

Principal gibb, we need your help.

You can decide whose filling goes in the crust.

Me? Someone has to decide.

Well... Close your eyes...

So you don't know whose filling you're tasting.

What am I tasting here? Cherry?

Cranberry apple.

No, I'm probably not the right person for this.

It'll be really helping us out.

We're just trying to make the right pie...For our mom.

All right, okay, let's do this.

Open wide.

Now try the good one -- mine. I mean, the other one.

Mom... What's wrong?

It's just sometimes...

Cranberries and I don't agree.

Are you allergic to Cranberries?

Ish -- I'm allergic-ish.

I'll be okay.

I need to sit down and get my adrenaline shot.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Shouldn't you get back out there with the fryer? Yeah.

His head's all normal again. I'm out of here.

You didn't bring another adrenaline shot, did you?

'Cause you still didn't try my cranberry filling.

Honey, nobody is having cranberry filling.

You and your sister go out to the garage,

get a couple of frozen pies.

And ed, why would you eat Cranberries

if you knew you were allergic?

The reaction is usually much milder than that,

and the girls really wanted to make you a great pie,

and I wanted to help.

That is so sweet and so thoughtful...

It's the least I could do. And really, really dumb.

You know, I am your boss.

So sweet, so thoughtful.

What are you doing?!

The ball just rolled in.

This thing's like a torpedo heading at that fryer.

All right, fine. Perimeter!

Kerry: C.J., you would never believe

what we saw between mom and gibb.

"So sweet, so thoughtful."

"You saved my life. Kiss me."

And then they were all giggly and acting like a couple.

Yeah, so what?

He's a durwood. It's wrong on a million levels.

There are two main problems with principal gibb --

one, he's our principal, and two, he's gibb.

I suppose that's a good reason not to like him.

I was just thinking how that "durwood"

seems to make your mom happy.

Aah!

Mom, since principal gibb is gonna live and stuff,

can you throw the ball with me?

Uh, not now, honey.

Great -- I can't play football, I can't watch football...

This Thanksgiving totally blows.

Now, that one -- that was a strong one.

All right, dad, that's it.

You don't know what you're doing!

Man: With 22 seconds to go...

You fixed it!

Not too bad for a guy who doesn't know what he's doing.

22 seconds and they're down by four!

Man: And it all comes down to the final play.

Lions, working from the colts' 35.

What are you doing?

It's a ritual. I have to hop or --

that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

Like fondling your hat is gonna help!

It's tapping.

Man: Lions, working from the colts' 35.

Harrington takes the snap.

He's in the pocket. No one's open.

He lofts a hail Mary. Touchdown!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Hopping, huh? Tapping?

It seems to work. What are you doing next sunday?

Come on, Rory. Let's throw that thing around.

I don't know. Come on, come on.

I played football in high school.

How can I say no to that?

You see that?

Grandpa's getting along with ed.

Weird -- maybe those zaps shocked the grumpy out of him.

Yeah, um... About principal gibb --

we wouldn't be completely nauseated and freaked out

if you wanted to date him.

That's so sweet...

And very beautifully put.

However --

all we're saying is we like that he makes you smile.

You like what you see out there?

Oh, now you're gonna tell me that I like him, too?

He did eat the pie of death for you.

Ed: Nice catch, Rory!

Not a bad guy, that gibb.

Dad! What happened to gibb.

He kind of wears you down.

How's he hug?

Not bad.

Rory, go wash up. Dinner's ready.

Thanks for playing.

Sure, anytime.

You don't have to do that anymore.

Not many people could survive

being thrown into the middle of this madhouse.

Not at all -- you have a very sweet family...

When they're not poisoning or punching me.

Ed, you've been so kind and helpful lately,

and I realize I've been putting up a wall,

and I'm not really a wall kind of person.

Um...

I've been wanting to say something,

and it's just so kind of hard to say.

Well, why don't you just say it?

I, um...

I'm...

Really glad you're here.

That was the hard part?

Uh...why don't we just go inside?

Okay. Okay.

You want to have dinner?

I thought that's what we're about to --

no, no, no. With me. A date.

Wow.

Cate, I've wanted to go out with you forever.

Yeah, the timing wasn't just quite right, but --

well, I'm kind of seeing someone now.

Oh. Oh, good.

That's good.

Not really good, but pretty good.

For the longest time you didn't seem interested.

There was that timing thing, and --

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had a girlfriend.

Ish -- she's girlfriend-ish.

You don't have to explain.

Should I go?

Oh, no. No.

This isn't awkward? No, no.

Well, okay, it's awkward-ish.

But please, ed, I want you to stay.

Just go on inside. I'll be in in a minute.

I-I think you're --

you're just great, Cate.

If it would make things any easier,

I could eat some more Cranberries.

No, really, I'm fine.

Damn.

This Thanksgiving really does blow.

So, that's all you can think of to be thankful for?

That you got the good hair?

No, I said it's what I'm most thankful for.

And how about you, Cate? What are you thankful for?

Well, I'm thankful for my wonderful children,

and for my great dad,

and ugh she couldn't be here.

That's what i'm thankful for.

And you, ed?

I'm thankful for great friends.

Yeah. Great friends.

Blah, blah, blah, Thanksgiving. Let's eat.

No, wait.

Finally, I am thankful to all of you, especially C.J.,

for doing all this work.

So that, for once, I don't have to do anything.

I'm gonna go check on a thing.

Frank: Ms. Hennessey? Ms. Hennessey?

Ms. Hennessey? Oh.

You know, it's frustrating.

I still can't figure what made that fryer blow up?

Good enough for me.

I'll send you a check in a few days.

Oh, hey, don't forget about my Ferrari -- total loss.

Don't you want the Turkey?

Really? Great, thank you.

I'll send you back the plate.

Well...guess we'll never know what happened.

My guess --

he started eating as a small child and never stopped.

I meant we'll never know why the Turkey fryer exploded.

That, too.

I-I think you're --

you're just great, Cate.

If it would make things any easier,

I could eat some more Cranberries.

No, really, I'm fine.

Damn.

This Thanksgiving really does blow.