Original subtitles

Hi, Guys.

Hi, honey.

What in god's name are you wearing?

Oh, I'm putting together my costume for the Halloween dance.

Oh, so you're going as a stripper?

No.

I'm a catholic-school girl.

Oh...

Who strips.

You guys, no one is gonna think I look like a stripper, okay?

Hey, look, it's misty,

getting ready for her third and final dance on the main stage.

Hey.

So, C.J., what are you going as for Halloween?

You know what? I don't do Halloween.

It's not that cool.

Really? But Halloween's everything you love --

pagan rituals, devil worship, and fudge.

Just drop it -- how about that?

So, mom, how come C.J. doesn't like Halloween?

Rory, it's private and painful,

and he really doesn't want to talk about it.

I think we should respect that.

Thank you, yeah.

I'm sorry, it's just so damn funny.

It's not that funny to me.

- Come on --

quit being such a baby.

It was 1979, and C.J. went to his first Halloween dance.

Hey... spooky kabuki.

Well, well, well, I must be an English hunting dog

'cause I just spotted a fox.

Ooh.

Hey, check it out. It's the village people!

All I wanted to be was a dancing cowboy...

...but they had to go and make it gay.

Oh, my god, how does a slut like Jenny Jenkins

even get a guy like Pete?

I mean, look at him --

he's like a work of art.

He's like that famous statue, "the Dave."

Bridget...

Okay, see ya.

We really have to start the student council meeting.

Can't you start without me, Max?

No -- because by some cruel twist of fate,

I am the vice president, not the president,

and, according to the by-laws, we can't start without you...

The president.

Did you see that? He just looked at me.

Yes, he, too, can't believe you were elected. Let's go.

Good morning, council people.

Sorry I'm late.

Yes, we were very busy

trying to figure out if Pete gave us a look.

Oh, he did. Don't worry.

All right, so I know we are here to plan the Halloween dance.

Now, I have given this a lot of thought.

Picture this --

a sunken pirate ship at the bottom of an evil sea...

Rivers of blood... Skeletons...

Sword fighting with legions of soulless men.

Our budget is $173.

Oh, okay. Then orange and black balloons.

Moving on...

Before we move on, one little suggestion.

Yeah, it might not be as spooky as orange and black balloons,

but considering our budget --

oh, sorry -- official business.

Hello? Did you just see that?

Did you see what he was wearing?

Did you see what she was wearing?

Did you see what I was wearing?

Okay, so where were we?

Well, Max and I have an idea about the Halloween dance.

Oh, that reminds me -- I have this great idea.

It is gonna blow you away.

Sorry, one second.

Hello?

You did? She did?

Did you see what I was wearing?

Bridget. Hold on. What?

Well, you were gonna tell us all something

that was gonna blow us away.

Ooh, right, right, right.

Ashley saw Pete look at me in the hall.

She thinks it means something.

Tell me everything now.

I can't believe she's president.

Oh, thank you.

I can't believe you two are sisters.

Thank you.

Hey there, halloweenies.

Us? You're the one jumping the gun on the costume.

You're two days early.

Oh, it's no costume, my friend.

I have been hired as head of security

for the Halloween dance...

Although I did get this at a costume shop.

Don knotts not available?

That's funny. That's real fun.

You know, I've worn the badge before.

You were a mall cop.

For three weeks.

Yeah, three crime-free weeks.

So, my little friend,

rumor has it there's a tradition

of freshmen pulling pranks at the old dance.

Know anything about this?

No, I just know that pranks are wrong --

dead wrong.

That's real mature, grandpa. Good one.

Hey, it was the kid's idea. He's got a devilish streak.

That better be the end of it. Oh, I'm sure it is.

I think he was just showing off

when I heard him talking to his friends

about blowing up the giant pumpkin at the dance.

Really?

So the hennessy boy's gonna try to pull a prank on my watch?

Well, let's just say this Halloween,

he's gonna be in for a real...Treat.

I guess the little guy just put 'em all over the house, huh?

No, that was me. What's on TV?

Kerry, you are never gonna believe what happened.

Your little student-council friend, Max?

He's out to get me. Bridget...

Today after the council meeting,

that creep went to principal gibb and told him I wasn't qualified to be president.

By "creep," I assume you mean sexy boy-toy.

Why are you here?

What are you doing in my bathroom?

Trying on scrunchies.

Max and I are making decorations for the dance.

How dare you go to the principal about me!

Hey, he likes to know what's going on,

and I'm fond of telling him.

And if you don't start treating this president thing

a little more seriously, you're out, and I'm in.

Can you believe this?!

Well...

You agree with this?

Face it, Bridget, you care more about boys and phone calls

than you do about the dance.

Traitor and traitor number two!

I have candy apples.

Max, out!

Oh, I was just leaving,

but only because I have a clarinet lesson.

Candy apple?

Thank you, Mrs. Hennessy.

I'll save it till after my lesson.

It makes my Reed sticky.

So what's this all about?

These two don't think i'm capable of being president.

She's not. She's an unfocused scatterbrain.

S-scatterbrain? Oh, you just wait.

You just wait till Saturday night

when I throw the best Halloween party this school has ever seen!

The dance is Friday night.

I know.

No, no, wait!

You, on the ladder,

point the orange light towards the stage.

Pumpkin people, I want him facing out.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I asked for twice as many severed limbs.

This is all they sent us.

Well, cut them in half.

So, am I focused enough for you Max,

or should we call the principal?

I must say it's pretty impressive.

Yeah, good luck keeping that up.

Hey, hey, hey, Pete.

Bite me, dweeb.

We're like brothers.

Yeah, like that's gonna throw me off.

Uh, hey, Bridget. Hi, Pete. Mmm.

Listen, um,

I don't know what you're doing for the dance,

but i'm going to be there alone.

Jenny and I broke up.

You did?! I mean I'm so sorry.

Um, w-w-well, great.

Then I'll probably see you there.

Well, like I said, creepy friend and sister,

I have everything under complete control --

oh!

Aah!

Ohh!

That light looks perfect now.

When you're ready to go, I can give you a ride to the dance.

Mom, I have a problem.

What's wrong?

This really hot guy likes me.

I hate it when that happens.

It's just, I'm really trying to focus on running this dance,

and I know he's going to be there tonight,

and I know it's going to mess me up.

Well, don't let it.

Just do your job, and then deal with him on Monday.

No, I can't. He broke up with slutty Jenny Jenkins,

and now he's available.

But Jenny told Alexia, who told Haley, who told Ashley --

"nose job" Ashley, not "pimple" Ashley --

who told me that she really wants him back.

Really?

And when did you hear all this?

During my algebra final.

The one you got a "d" on?

That teacher is so out to get me.

I just, I can't let all this Pete stuff distract me.

Kerry and Max already think I'm a complete scatterbrain.

Bridget... When you wanna be,

you are the most focused person in the world.

I've been shopping with you the day after Thanksgiving.

You're like a laser --

you hit the shoes and then the coats,

then you hit the tops and the purses --

mom.

The coats come last

'cause you don't want to drag 'em around all day,

and then you start with purses and shoes

so you can match them together.

You see what I'm saying?

Just look at tonight like one giant trip to the mall,

except Pete is a coat --

he comes last.

Oh, but, mom, I'm cold.

So cold.

Pshhhhh!

Pshhhhhh.

Who are you going to pepper-spray?

I think the question is,

"who am I not going to pepper spray?"

So, mom, what's your costume going to be?

Well, since I have to be there as the school nurse,

I thought I'd go as Florence nightingale.

The mom from "the Brady bunch"?

Yeah.

Hey, everybody, look -- it's the hamburglar.

I'm part of a chain gang.

I know, by day.

But at night, you steal hamburgers.

Dad, are you going to be okay here by yourself?

I'm going to put a big bowl of candy out on the porch

with a note that says "take one,"

and then I'm going to watch "the great escape."

I prefer "the dirty dozen."

That's a chick flick.

Not the one I rented.

Rory, let's go. I don't want to be late.

Oh, I'll be right there. Uh, I'll meet you there.

Well, now, that's suspicious.

I'll say.

What is?

The bag.

Oh.

Why would a kid take a bag to a dance?

Well, well, well.

Lookee here -- he gots himself a cherry bomb.

Oh, that little merry prankster

is going to try to blow up the giant pumpkin.

When he gets down here, he's so busted.

Now, wait, wait, wait.

If you really want to teach him a lesson,

we'll catch him red-handed.

And then you publicly humiliate him.

You know, that kind of thing sticks with a kid forever.

Well, you know how that is.

Well, I'm outta here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're not going anywhere, young man.

What do you mean?

Without your little black bag.

Who smells bacon?

You do -- that's right, 'cause Johnny law is in the house.

Idiot.

All right, I'm officer C.J., head of security.

It has come to my attention that a student...Or students

or possibly a combination of the two is planning a prank tonight.

So keep your eyes out for anything out of the ordinary...

...especially anyone in a disguise.

Suddenly, having my mom here

isn't the most embarrassing part of the night.

Hey, kerry! Hi!

Hey, it's going pretty well, don't you think?

Yeah, except you've got no one on the punch bowl.

Well, I'll just add it to my list of duties.

Anything else, zero?

It's Zorro.

Yeah, really original, by the way.

Hey, there.

Hey, Pete! Love your costume!

Thanks.

This is, like, the best dance we've ever had.

You know, I've been getting a lot of that.

You wanna dance? Oh, I would love to!

Um, no, sorry I can't. I can't leave my post.

That's too bad.

Actually, Pete, wait. You know what?

I can't dance out there, but I can sure dance back here.

Ooh!

Oh, for crying out loud!

They're just starting to dig the tunnel.

All: Trick or treat!

Didn't you read the sign? The candy's in the bowl.

What bowl?

Well, it was right there.

Well, it's not anymore.

What else you got?

I got half a movie to watch. See ya.

That's not fair!

Don't get mad at me.

Your little cronies didn't honor the honor system.

What's a crony?

I told you there's no candy!

You're gonna have to be a lot faster than that

to catch sergeant Jim egan.

All right, that was pretty fast.

Oh, well, look at you! Where are you going?

Gonna have a glass of punch with Pete

because I've got everything covered.

Well, not everything.

The fire marshal's here --

it's too many kids and he's thinking about

shutting this thing down.

Fine, I'll go talk to him.

Jenny Jenkins!

What a slut!

Who goes out of the house dressed like that?!

Word has it she's here to get Pete back.

Quite the dilemma.

Take that, you little punks!

Teach you to mess with a veteran of a foreign war.

War? Korea was a police action.

Oh, now it's on!

You know, when I catch you, you're going to need this.

Bridget, I just saw the fire marshal.

Is there a problem?

Oh, some kids were trying to sneak in,

but I got rid of 'em, and everything's fine now.

You are just handling everything.

It's great, honey.

You threw a wonderful party,

and you were afraid that you wouldn't be able to do it.

Well, I should feel good, but I don't.

I lost Pete.

Oh, I'm sorry.

But, listen, there's gonna be a thousand boys,

but tonight is your victory.

I just wish you could take it in.

You know what? Maybe you're right.

Maybe this is the beginning of a more serious Bridget,

you know, a Bridget who doesn't get distracted by anything.

A Bridget who could give a damn

if Pete went back to Jenny Jenkins.

Pete didn't go back to Jenny Jenkins.

She went home alone, and he came back inside.

See ya!

Hey, where you going?

To do what I've wanted to do all night long.

Five bucks to get into a high school dance?

You'd think Johnny Mathis was performing.

Dad, what are you doing here?

Well, I got into a little donnybrook

with a couple of neighborhood kids.

They stole the candy and threw eggs at me.

Oh, no. I'm sorry.

It's all right. I got one of 'em tied up in the garage.

Kinda tough to see in this fog, little man.

Need a light?

I've been waiting to do this all night.

Oh, Bridget!

Oh, my god! I had no idea!

Although, I did kind of...Sense it.

What are you doing? I thought you hated her!

Hey, hey, lighten up, kerry.

Why do you always have to be so mean to your sister?

What?

Oh, my god. Kerry...

You're kissing him?

I broke up with Jenny for you.

A very bad move.

Yep, caught him red-handed.

Good work, C.J.

Now's your chance to really teach him a lesson.

Oh, I'm way ahead of you.

Keep him here for a second.

Rory, this is for your own good.

What's up, Detroit?! Motor city!

All right, I'll tell you what's up.

I'd like to announce that, thanks to me,

the giant pumpkin is safe, and this dance is prank-free.

You know, funk and wagnall's defines "hero"..

Look! It's the village people!

Hey. Hey!

Grandpa?

Yeah.

So, did you have a good time?

I-it was interesting.

Oh, come on!

You've got to admit, Bridget did a great job.

It wasn't the embarrassing, disorganized train wreck

I'd hoped it would be.

Did you really want her to fail?

More than anything.

Kerry, she's your sister,

and no matter what is happening out there,

in here, we're family.

And family sticks together.

I know, I know.

I guess I'm just tired of things always working out for her

because she's Bridget.

You can't be mad at her for being herself.

Can I be a little mad?

We're all a little mad.

Hey.

Hey.

Just so you know,

Max told me this is the best dance he'd ever been to,

and that I showed great leadership qualities,

and he's coming here this weekend

to rake leaves and wash the car.

You were right --

Max is a jerk and so am I.

Oh, well, I wasn't exactly perfect, either.

If it wasn't for you pushing me,

I probably would have screwed things up.

If it's any consolation, I was punished.

I kissed Max.

Not good?

Have you ever had a really bad piece of Sushi

you couldn't wait to get out of your mouth?

Ewww. Yeah, this was worse.

I actually feel bad for his clarinet.

Bridge, I'm sorry.

I can't believe I went against you, my own sister.

It's just...

It drives me nuts that things always work out for you,

and, magically, you always seem to get what you want.

No, not tonight.

I didn't get what I wanted most -- Pete.

Well, the night's not over yet.

And there he is, right on schedule.

God, for one night I would just love to be you.

But not tonight.

Come on, let's look.

Bridget!