Original subtitles

oh I remember years

ago now, with your grandfather, I'm

exotic, but it wasn't

so crowded.

These are dangerous times, so take every

Excuse me, excuse me. I'm sorry. Sorry

Hey, driver, I want a ride. Sorry, no

more business today. Pound man, you had

any mess?Did you hear that?This guy

refuses to do business.

Excuse me, excuse me. Hey, what are you

up to?I told you I'm closed today, huh

Unicorn Valley. A unicorn. Right,

I'll take you.

Ah, ask the teeth to come. Hey, come

on.

Hello, gentlemen, and all my

friends from my home village.

Today's a happy day, made doubly so by

your presence. And with the funds you've

collected, we can always take pride in

helping others. Right.

Pastor Wang, keep a close eye on them.

Your man mustn't let me down. Uh, Chief,

don't you worry. Master Wong's an expert

at kung fu. With him in charge of it,

your money's quite safe from the bandits.

Right. All right. I ain't worry

now. But I can't help feeling nervous

when so much money is being moved.

Because if an accident happens, I must

explain to people. Chief,

you're too considerate. Put your mind at

rest. I promise you we won't let youdown.

Easy, stay calm.

Hey, young master, you

needn't worry. We're safe

here for the time being, but we all need

to be on fully love in Unicorn

Valley. Oh, so I know what I'm doing.

Uncle?HuhIf the bandits haven't

yet heard of Mr. Y, they'll taste my

sword. Come on, get going.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, sure.

Tiger Club. How dare you do this?How dare

you bite, Mr. One?

Where do you guys come here?I don't get a

chance if I just

go. Oh, there's the car.

Come on, let's

go.

Hey, Misty. You

surprised me. I never guess you could run

so fast. Huh

Oh, we don't want trouble.

Neither do I. Reckon it could be the

result of some misunderstanding here. All

right, look on the bright side. You think

of what you still got. Hey, what on earth

is that, ehUh, listen, my friend. Your

head's over there if you want it. I don't

want my

hat. So, you want to keep the whole lot

just for yourself?Don't pretend you're

not after the lot, too. I wouldn't have

put it quite

like

that.

umm

Uncle. Uncle. Great.

Uncle is...

Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh,

God. Ohh

Master. The money's gone?

Stolen by bandits?

But the refugees need that

money to escape. Those bandits,

they'll be stung up.

ohh Don't upset yourself, master.

How can I face the refugees?

And how can I face Master Siu?Not your

fault. You can't blame yourself. Don't

get upset. The money?

I am responsible for the money.

But-- hmm-- those bandits acted bravely.

They came right for us, despite Master

Wong there. If those bastards haven't

tricked me with a diversion, they

wouldn't have got away. I'd have made

them crawl on their hands and knees.

Where did the bandage come from?

Chief, don't worry. No matter what, I--

Uh Chief,

there were two guys there who seemed like

their leaders. One of them was

particularly good-looking. The other one,

I've never seen before. All right, all

rightMr. Wang, I'll check them down. They

won't get away. Just you

wait until I get my hands on those

bastardsAll right,

we'll offer a reward. All

right. Look at these dicky bars. There

you go. Shout, hi. Excuse me. Hi, excuse

me. Stop me in there. Do you want to get

the reward?Yeah. Ohh

Fried chicken. Chicken fried in sesame

seed. We got to enjoy

our food. No point in depriving

ourselves, is there?

Mmm, that smells delicious.

Just put some more wood on the fire.

Sorry. Ohh The things you see, I'd like

to talk some business with you, but if

you don't want to...

Stop looking at it. I

thought you had a chicken cooking away.

It's only potatoes. What's the business?

Oh, it's good business. But the thing is,

I just had this guy having a dream. You

know what I'm talking about?No, I don't.

Oh, there's a reward on his head. Oh?Does

the guy have a beard?Yeah, you're right!

I'll tell you frankly, anybody can guess

that guy, and there's 500 in it. 500?

Yeah. HuhHow do we split?I'll

take 70%, you take 30, huhNo deal.

Oh, what about 50/50?All

right. Pleasure doing business. Oh,

good. We robbed them and ran off.

I got it! I got it! We'll tie him up. Go

on, tie him up.

Ohh

So you two are in this together.

I figured that you wanted to get me.

But what are you after me for?What for?

You know well what's been going on in

town. There are big posts of you stuck up

everywhere, huhI wanted to get to you

before the cops did. But

I want the reward as well. You must have

fallen on your head. I'd never do a thing

like that.

I've laid booby traps all over the plate.

You can't escape. Really think you're

gonna get me. You must be out of your

mind.

Yeah. Did

you catch him?Did you catch him?Of

course I got him. He can't get away from

me, the son of a bitch

Watch out. Now, watch him closely. I'll

get the reward. Hey, partner, don't

forget my 50. I won't. Uh-huhGet out!

Shut up, prisoner.

I'll take 40 winks.

You sure about that?Yeah, I'm sure. He

looked identical. I wasn't mistaken. Hmm

But he's a bandit. A fierce

outlaw. How'd you catch him?

You didn't believe me if you don't want

to, but if you don't go there, he might

have broken free by now.

Anyway, why should I lie to you about

something so serious?If you still don't

believe me...

Here, my mother gave this keepsake to me.

You can keep it if it isn't true, then.

What do you say?

I admire you for doing all this.

All right, I'll call out the guard. We

will go with you. Over there. Just over

there. AhNow that we've got our men with

us, they can't possibly escape. Of course

he won't escape. I got him all tied up.

Where's my money?My money?It's gone!

Where?Where's the money?

It's come back! Where's my money?Where's

my money gone?Oh, my money! Where

is it?

Don't think that you're so good 'cause I

can see your shatter! Come on, get

down.

You see, there he is. Give me the reward.

Right. I'll check first.

Captain, where to go?Huh

Tie him up.

Huh

You call him out, lower. You outran it.

Arrest him for fraud.

It's all right, guys. You can leave him

for now. I have an idea.

I can capture him. And the money.

Without lifting a finger.

ohh Thank you. Welcome.

Come inside. Oh, good

to see you. Oh, thank you very much.

Welcome.

Oh, thank

you. Oh, congratulations. Captain Lu.

What kept you?Why are you so late?Master

Wong and Master Leung arrived early.

Please come inside and have a drink. I

should be toasting your good health on

such an auspicious occasion.

We'll get drunk together. Right, we'll

get drunk inside.

How's today so special, 'cause it's your

wedding day. Here,

for a drink. Hold it.

This isn't wine, it's one tea.

Let's have some wine. But the bridegroom

has drunk too much already. Let him have

just tea. All right. But it's

his wedding date. He shall be drinking

wine. Coming you,

everyone's had so much to drink today. If

you If you would be so kind, just let

them drink tea instead. But you can't do

that.

All right, because you are the one who

talk to them, you can drink tea instead.

Here, drink.

Ah The wedding night is getting closer.

Get closer.

Hey. Closer.

Now, after you've had that drink, you'll

make your fortune. There we are.

Trevor says, drink too much, maybe piss

all night. Tonight you'll be too

busy to pissYou'll have other things to

occupy your time.

Ohh

Oh, yes. Why don't we go

outside?

It's

getting late. My

dear. I want it. Oh

What's happening?Where's the

winter's trap?I'm not afraid. I'm just

afraid of bed. Let me put more clothes

on.

Ohh ohh I hope I didn't

hurt you there. Down there, not at all,

but I've just hurt my back. My dear, did

you just have a banana?BastardYou ought

to know if I'd had a banana.

What's this?Ohh This is just like

the apple Eve gave out in the garden.

Have you hurt yourself?Let's go to bed.

Oh, no. You can't see where you

have bed?Come on.

Here you go. There.

Ohh

What are you getting excited about?Shut

your mouth. You tie me up too long. It's

part of the job. You've got to take it.

Ohh

You're so strong.

What's that noise?It looks like they've

started. Fun's about to begin.

Here I come. Oh!

What's going on?What's the

matter?Are you hurting?Oh!

My dear! Are you all right?Are you

sitting on the bed?Oh! Oh! What

are you doing with your

shoes on in the bed?

Oh, God.

Oh, that's no way to come to themarriage.

Don't

put it up so hard.

Goodbye.

He's

good, isn't

he?Huh I

want

it! How

much?

You better not dare try tricking me. You

hold it there, hey, you know who I am.

I'm talking to you. Ohh

Let's run for it.

Let's sit down and talk. Come on. Thanks.

hmm How is it, master?

Hey, give me back my jade.

Don't get so upset. Drink your tea first.

What a driver. The guy's so stingy. I

don't care. I'll use him instead.

What a passenger. But he's no simpleton.

Maybe I have a use for

him. Here's your job. Oh, I appreciate

that. Hey, we aren't

responsible for stealing that money. But

only you and I know that's true. That's

right. They're blaming us for

masterminding the whole robbery. They're

going to try and make us pay the money

back.

Right. It must be the chief.

Master. Master. Two men outside want to

see you. Oh, the master's busy. Tell them

to go away. Right. Wait.

Every man has his own skill,

so who cares about money,

a good house, and good clothes,

and many servants as well, to see

we're well supplied with

drink, to

drown our sorrow.

No sorrow.

No more you, mister. A

master is--

I'm a famous scholar. He is?

Shut up. I was just

passing by. I heard people say you're a

famous scholar, so I thought I'd come

and look you up. Ohh You're welcome.

Please come inside. Ohh

HmmSit down. After you. Oh, thank you.

Thank you. I'm honored you

should come. What are your instructions?

Oh. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I have come

here because I wanted your advice on

valuing my antique collection.

Also, I wonder if you could show me

your antique

We're all brother scholars. Don't be so

formal. Oh, thank you. Yes, thank you.

Thank you. Miss Allen?Yes?Bring out my

antiques. Oh. Uh..

Son?Hey!

Oh, don't show it yet. It's a lovely

book. The Abbot wrote it

about his trip to India and then

back to China. Ohh

Please have a look. Ohh

Oh. What the hell

are

you up to?All right. Now, let me do it.

Now, this book, our old master ordered us

to read it before he died. Pray for seven

days. If we want to look at its contents,

though-- But you can't see the secondone.

But it's blank. Uh-huhohh

Sorry, Sorry

ohh and this too this sword once belonged

to our family

everybody knows that

we're famous for our antique swords

being broken yeah

let me show you

You careful, what's the matter with you?

Master, are you all right now?

Don't worry. It's only yourself.

He's not worried, neither am I.

I told you that this sword belonged to

us. ohh Of

course. You're quite right, my boy, yes.

Certainly. It's the best salad in our

family. Yes, the best, the best.

How old is that piece of jade you have?

Ohh No deal. My mother gave me that piece

of jade. Does it matter who gave it to

you?Now, if you

like this piece of jade, you can have it.

It's all right. No way, no way. I didn't

quite mean that. What did you mean by it,

then?Ohh I

beg you, please have mercy. I haven't got

any money. I can't decide it. Alice the

housekeeper first. Thank you kindly. You.

No way, no way. I only want to look at

it. Ohh I'm so happy to hear

that. You have so much jade here. Why

should you want this be so much?I like

all jade. I'll show you my jade

collection, please. Don't let's miss this

chance,Now, it's our turn to see what

he's got. Right. You better not stop

me. I want to see the chief. Hey, so you

get out of my way. Let me throw. Let me

throw. You want to see the chief. Warn

you, don't stop me. Don't stop it. I want

to see the chief. The chief. This is the

Jade unicorn of the Tang Dynasty.

You must let me go. Let me see the chief.

I must see the chief. Let me throw. Why

won't you let me in to see him?I want to

see the chief. Let me go.

What's the matter?It is RQ. He

hasn't paid rent for one year, so I sent

some men to bring him back here. The

chief, I didn't even have enough money to

give my wife a funeral.

What have I been telling you?Don't bully

them when they don't have the money, huh

You don't be afraid. Oh, give him $2

now. Yes, of course. Thank you, chief.

Please, this way. Really.

What's the matter with you?Follow me.

Yes.

Tie him up. What's the matter with you?

Don't catch a sheep here, lads. Hurry.

Go. Come on.

Hurry.

Dad, pray for me,

Dad! Oh... My child, what do you come

here for?I wanna get married! You've

married so many times. Your husband's

just died. I don't care! I wanna marry

again! Give me some money to buy a

husband! Oh, that's all right. Follow me.

That how you spend it all?I couldn't

afford that even if I was rich. Father,

don't worry this time. The man I marry

will look after me. I promise you don't

have to worry. No way,

no way. You're fated to be a widow.

Whoever marries you winds up dead.

Here. Father, I guarantee you this time,

my next husband will live! I'll make sure

he'll have to live her! Of course!

My child. Huh

Don't let anyone see this money. Yeah,

don't worry.

Huh

It's yours. It's mine.

It's yours. It's mine.

It's yours. That's not right.

This is mine. It's yours. This is

not good. This should be mine.

The last one left. We split it up. Umm

Still doesn't work. The whole lot should

be mine. I'm

sorry. Ah,

it's you. Right, it's me.

Hey, what are you up to?

Meditating. I'm gonna beat you up.

Those things you got me so bad, they

almost got me caught. You told me it was

for a freak. You didn't tell me you were

going to show it to him. You said you

wanted it. So that's why I got you that

old sword in the books. Right.

You found them for me and ended up making

me look a fool. I'm sorry I embarrassed

you. What can I say for you, though, huh

Huh

The chief doesn't suspect a thing.

Right, good. Hasn't got a clue. He has no

idea.

Hey, look there. A gold dollar.

HuhOh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh, that money for me. I got it.

What did you say?How'd you get so many?

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

BastardAre you saying that I stole it?

Where'd you get it from?Huh, they belong

to me, buddy. Not your concern. Looks

like we're gonna strike it rich this

time. Let's split it. No deal.

Huh

What are you two doing here?Uh,

Captain Money. My money?

Yeah, that's right. You two have

got one hell of a nerve to go around

stealing. Right!

Tile above!

You are completely useless. You can't do

anything. Yeah, you're pretty bad, too.

That's right. I'm not steady now.

Ready?They asked for it. Set,

go!

Idiots! You're not

bad at all!Use the ropes.

Superman. Batman.

Tie him up!

You

won't be going anywhere for now. Quick,

tie them up, then come on up. We'll see

you later. Let's go.

See you later. Bye.

Hurry up. Come on. Come onCaptain you.

They'll run after them. Right up. They

got away from us. You can afford to be

generous. You see, that won't get very

far. Why not?

Hey, you're always saying see you later.

Well, now's your chance. Stop the

wisecracks. We gotta figure a way to get

out of here. Uh, you.

What a

wise to see you here.

You! You like that?

Cheat the muck! We've got the lovers

outside. Come in.

Huh,

huhHmm

Stand up, uh-huh

Line 'em up.

All right, you lot, line up.

Hey, let's stand in front.

Hmm

What's the matter with you?HuhWhat's the

matter with me?Nothing. What are you

standing around like that for?Mm-hmm

Do you know who I was talking to?I was

only talking to those two. Oh.

Stand up. Now,

what kind of work do you two do?What work?

Oh, nothing much. We're drifters.

Oh, so you're drifters. You from out of

town?Huh No, I'm not.

I live here. You live here. Are you a

criminal?Local criminal?Oh! No, I'm

not. No. I don't give a damn.

You two stay here. Let the others go.

All right, come on enough. Come. Get out

of it. Move. Those two are making

a fool out of him. Huh

How dare you try to mess with me?Oh, no,

please.

You two?Show respect for me.

How dare you steal the money from the

refugees?Do you take me for a fool?

I want you both to take a good look at

this.

Do you understand?

If you're smart... you'll do what's good

for you. I want you to pick up two and

sign your names. All right. You mean your

lucky draw,

huh

We need a sign.

Not like that. No. Uh

Never mind. I'll just take you down to

see our happy room. Ah

You'll find that in the happy room, there

are lots of games to amuse you. Let me

introduce them to you one by one.

Take a long, hard look. Here is our

modified pinball machine, complete with

automatic hammer. Do you see?

This is the circle game. All we must do

is sell on it.

Riding on horseback.

Like a bird.

Why do you

confess?I haven't finished with you yet.

Ohh We confess. We confess. We

confess. We confess. It's

all right. We confess. Better take these

two down to the cell. Colm, who confess?

Have you gone crazy?How can we confess to

something we don't even know?

Didn't you get a look at those machines

in there?You wouldn't stand a chance once

he started on you with those. But we

didn't do anything, so what can we tell?

You-- Take it easy. You look after

yourself, 'cause we both gotta find a way

to get out of here. Out, out. Take a

look. Take a look. Why don't you look

over here, huhThis is built to be a

prison, unless you think we're Superman.

Hey, I didn't say we're Superman, but you

saw the film Midnight Express. Huh

Midnight Express. You really think it's

possible?

Be realistic. It's not going to be

so simple. If it was as easy as that,

nobody would be in jail. We'll need to be

Superman. Uh-huh

Uh-huhHey.

I have an idea. Yeah. Midnight Express!

Yay!

Watch it easy. Let me do his voice.

Hey, it's the Davis. Let me have a go.

All right?

Hey, how big's the hole?

It's all right. I checked it out, and

it's perfectly safe. And since we're both

brothers, you can go first. Ohh In that

case, I will go. All right. Since we are

brothers, all right?I'm

gonna

get you!

Ow!

Huh It's a fish.

Huh

Fool me. Pull

me. Hurry

up. Hurry up.

close up the hole. Use that straw over

there. Go on.

You deliberately tried to trick me, but

you won't fool me. Father,Don't get so

mad. How was I to know she'd lost her

marbles. They're going to kill us. Aren't

you concerned at all?Uh, no, I'm not.

After all, what happens to us is all

predestined. I'm

not afraid of death. I just don't

think it's worth dying yet.

Dying?Of course not. But you took

the money and killed them. I would never

do such a thing.

You pretend too well. Oh.

I reckon we got reasonable doubt here.

Just maybe, that money we got is really

the money meant for the refugees.

Housekeeper, Captain Yu,

Mr. Wong. Hey,

I reckon our prime suspect is Captain Yu.

I know, he likes money.

Uh-huhThe key, what are we in for?Come on

up on, right.

oh He's dead. Look at the teeth marks.

Maybe it's a vampire. Impossible, not in

this century.

Well, yeah. Sorry. Mr.

Two, Mr. Two. Mr. Two.

The Chief has been looking for you. Uh,

what is the matter?The Chief's

housekeeper's dead. And he wants you to

bury him. AhA few days ago,

he was in fine spirits. How come he

suddenly died?That's enough talk. Just

come along with me. All right, all right,

let's go.

ah

Lovely coffin. Let's open it.

Wow. You gave me a bad fight.

Ohh We made a deal already. Winner

takes a lot. Come on. Huh

HuhSo much money. All

right, then, I'll do it.

We'll place stone, paper, scissors to

decide the outcome of the contest.

Stone, paper, scissors. Stone, paper,

scissors. Come on. Paper, stone, paper.

No, I win. You lose.

Stop carrying on with me. You won't get

round me. He's come

back!

Steel Jaws! I am Golden Jaws.

Steel Jaws is my brother. He's still

working for James Bond. HuhJames Bond?

Roger Moore! Ohh

All right, all right, all right, it's me.

Oh

Right on that. Come on.

Well, he's gone. Hey, at

last there's a way out of this place.

What are you two doing?

Want to play a little game?

Now watch my sword.

What's my fear?

Your kung fu fighting will be all right

in a normal contest. But when you're up

against me, you stand no chance.

Let's just talk.

Well, I don't think he's so tough. What

do you think?Neither do I.

I'll use my spare instead. One,

two, three,

four, five, six.

Hey. Seven.

You've now tried seven times, but you

still haven't hit me.

Golden George, watch my sword.

One, two, three.

Ohh

Wow. Will you be good?I will, I will

Left, left,

left, left.

Left, left again, left again.

Left, left.

Hey, heyYou almost hit my right

side. I'm pretty good, aren't I, huh

One,

two,Hmm

Hmm

HuhMarket is too

tough.

ohh Look to

the right, look to the left, look to the

right, look to the left. Look to the

right. HuhNo, no,

no Help me! Come on!

hmm

You think you are so smart, but you two

don't fool me.

target.

Oh, I got no energy left. I've had it.

Hey, seems like he's had it. He's cutting

down the distance. HmmHey, let's get the

money. Fine. Do

we still have enough time?Let's find the

cheap.

Seven?Seven. Seven.

Is everything ready?

Let's see. Umm

Let's go.

Bye-bye. You

hold it.

Chief, it's so early.

What's over Hurry?Where are you going at

this hour?Oh, I told them to

deliver some food to the refugees.

Let's go inside and talk. Chief,

it's not necessary.

Oh, what

are you doing?Ah

Just what kind of a chief do you think

you are?You could have fooled us

and the people. But now the show's over.

Anything else you'd like me to do for you?

Master Wayne, you're smart. But

I'm a stranger. How come you know me?

You can't keep a secret here.

You see, I've just been asking a few

questions among those drivers of yours.

What's that?You pushed me too far.

Ah

So you're not a cripple. I never

expected that you'd be able to fake it so

well in front of all of us. And not only

that. I'll teach you something you won't

forget.

Ohh

So now, gentlemen, you still

want the money?Huh

Doesn't matter. Our duty is to find the

money. Otherwise, we don't leave here.

Oh, all right. Then I will go.

You hold it.

Can't get away with

you.

He's just disappeared. He kind of gone

far.

Good morning, Chief.

HuhRemarkable recovery.

And you don't need the stick.

Hey, he's trying to get away. There's no

time for disguises, eh

Hey, I think you're wrong about that.

After all the chief is respectable, why

should he run away?Oh, it's hard to

believe. But nowadays, everyone's out

for money.

Good.

You two?Oh, right. They're looking

for you.

Hey, why don't you run?You want the money?

Come on.

He'll

be no problem. May be tricky. I'll watch

this. You play with him, huhAll right.

Now, don't be

nervous.

Hey,

it's your turn now.

You be careful.

Now we're even.

My friend, you talk too much. He'll talk

even more, ain't a lot.

Help us, Tom.

Help I read a 10-sure chance. He's a

notorious arch criminal. He went to

Crown years ago. What do

you think, then?It's him. I'm positive.

I'm sure I'm right. No firing at 10, Shar

Chen. You haven't changed at all, have

you now?It's enough talk from you

two. Wyatt, come and get me if you're not

scared. Come on.

Let me handle him.

Hospice.

Ohh You, uh, Molly?He's

the well-known police captain, Sharma.

You bastardI didn't know who you were.

Captain Sharmar.

I guessed all along. You two are up to

something. Very well.

You know who I am then?You've heard of me?

You are.

Dragon fist.

There's only one man who can fight Dragon

Fist and live.

Inspector Lieutenant.

Driver, you disguised yourself

well. Hmm, you police have

no right to interfere in my business.

Your business, what about the refugees?

Money lives depended on you.

Nothing to do with me. My interest

is money. My soul!

We're gonna kill you.

We're quick.

It's all over now. Come on down. What's

the matter?What's keeping you?Huh

Mr. Lou?Mr. Lou?He's

dead. Thank you.