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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,675 /Just a little love 2 00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:10,677 /Give it to me baby 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,178 /Just a little love 4 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,847 /Do it do it baby 5 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,390 /Just a little love 6 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,308 /Give it to me baby 7 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:19,269 /Give me just a little 8 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,479 /Give me love /L-O-V-E 9 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,691 /Just a little love /A little goes a long way 10 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,944 /Just a little love /Give it to me baby 11 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,239 /Just a little love /Do it do it baby 12 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,074 /Give me just a little 13 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:35,035 /Give me love 14 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:38,038 /Take me in your arms /oh baby tonight 15 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:41,541 /Your loving makes me feel /all funny inside 16 00:00:41,624 --> 00:00:43,293 /You can make me feel 17 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,587 /Like no one else will do 18 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:46,880 /lf you give me just 19 00:00:46,963 --> 00:00:48,757 /Just a little love 20 00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:51,009 /Just a little love 21 00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:52,385 /Give it to me baby 22 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,470 /Just a little love 23 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,263 /Do it do it baby 24 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:56,723 /Just a little love 25 00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:58,516 /Give it to me baby 26 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,310 /Give me just a little 27 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,812 /Give me love /L-O-V-E 28 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,522 /Just a little love 29 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:06,316 /A little goes a long way 30 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,026 /Just a little love 31 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:09,903 /Do it do it baby 32 00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,404 /Just a little love 33 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:13,323 /Give it to me baby 34 00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:16,659 /Give me just a little /Give me love 35 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,996 /l don't want your money honey /l don't want your car 36 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,416 /l don't mind honey /if you're not a movie star 37 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,085 /l want sugar honey 38 00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:26,670 /Just the way you are 39 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,631 /lf you give me just /just a little love 40 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:30,965 /L-O-V-E 41 00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:33,677 /Just a little love /Give it to me baby 42 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:34,928 /Just a little love 43 00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:37,347 /Do it do it baby 44 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,140 /Just a little love 45 00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,434 /Give it to me baby 46 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,396 /Give me just a little /Give me love 47 00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:45,897 /L-O-V-E 48 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,162 (chattering) 49 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:06,334 - Good morning, ladies! 50 00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:11,131 - Oh, uh, lad-ladies! Ladies, it's all right! 51 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,799 This is our carpenter, Nick Francis! 52 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:15,010 He did the lovely work on the altar! 53 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,224 Yes, your work in the church is excellent, Nick. 54 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,810 But couldn't you be a little more... 55 00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:27,689 - Oh, that's what you get for hiring a confirmed sinner, Father. 56 00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:30,025 (priest sighing) 57 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:33,903 - Well, look, at least try not to scare away 58 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:37,365 any of the other parishioners. Hmm? - Maybe, yeah. 59 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,701 - And, uh, this might be a good time 60 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:42,037 for you to start work on that confessional. 61 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,621 - Over there? 62 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:46,041 Oh, that one. 63 00:02:46,082 --> 00:02:47,709 (whistling) 64 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:51,880 (drilling) 65 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,810 Sorry. 66 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,357 (drilling) 67 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,364 (drill stopping) 68 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,581 Come on. (footsteps approaching) 69 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,168 - l have a sin to confess. - But l'm not-- 70 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,170 - lt's an emergency! - But actually l'm not-- 71 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,506 - lf l don't get some advice right away, 72 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,841 l'm going to commit a horrible, unforgivable act 73 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,427 that really could ruin the life of a wonderful person. 74 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,470 And maybe mine too. 75 00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,722 - Wait, you shouldn't be talking to me-- 76 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,850 - Oh, my gosh, you can tell l'm not a Catholic. 77 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:49,312 But l just need to tell someone about my... 78 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,480 (whispering): ... erotic fantasies. 79 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,025 - Your what? 80 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,778 - Erotic fantasies. 81 00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:02,534 - Please continue, my child. 82 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,160 - l have these... 83 00:04:05,704 --> 00:04:08,331 urges for men. - Yes? 84 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:13,670 - Well, just today l... l saw this guy and l wanted to... 85 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,506 wh-wh-whoa, l cannot tell a priest that. 86 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:20,635 - Well, if it helps to bring you peace to share every detail, 87 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,471 please don't hold anything back, my... child. 88 00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:27,517 (whispering) 89 00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:35,066 And you have these urges 90 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,152 for every man you see? 91 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,528 - Practically. 92 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:43,783 - Hoo... l'm afraid l'm gonna have to leave... right now. 93 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,995 The... the etiquette of a confessional is for the priest to leave first, 94 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,205 so if you just hold on for one minute. - No! Please! 95 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,041 Please don't go! l just... l need help! 96 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,542 - Help comes in mysterious ways. 97 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,045 Something may happen in the very near future 98 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,671 to alleviate your torment. 99 00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:59,883 - But l haven't even told you the most shocking part yet. 100 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,845 - Perhaps l could stay a little longer. 101 00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,681 - l'm getting married in three days. 102 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,184 My fiance, Andre, is a Catholic. 103 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:12,479 He does not believe in sex before marriage. 104 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,938 Mm, no! (stifling exclamation) 105 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,524 Oh, l guess you don't either. 106 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,110 But l'm really sick of waiting. 107 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:21,363 - But you say your... wedding 108 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,156 is in three days? 109 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,533 Three days when, in theory, 110 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,869 you could have wild sex 111 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,747 with the next man you meet? 112 00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,123 - Well, in theory, yes. 113 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,542 But, you see, that's the problem. 114 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:37,337 l mean, l'm not... fantasizing about Andre. 115 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,505 (sighing) 116 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:42,300 l'm about to pledge that l will spend the rest of my life with one man, 117 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,552 sleep with one man for the rest of my life! 118 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:47,472 And l see these other guys and l just can't help thinking, 119 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,724 /Gee, l wonder /what it would be like with him. 120 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,101 /Or him. Or him. - Mm-mm. 121 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,478 lt's understandable. - No, no, it's not. lt's a sin! 122 00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,897 - l don't know. Sin's a bit of a strong word. 123 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,565 - Lust! (stifling exclamation) 124 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,736 (sighing) - Oh, Christ Almi-i-i - 125 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:05,115 l mean l have to go. l have to go. 126 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,741 - We-we haven't finished. 127 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,911 You know, maybe you could give me your phone number 128 00:06:09,994 --> 00:06:12,789 and we could discuss this further over a drink... 129 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:13,790 coffee, obviously. Tea. 130 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,667 - l couldn't impose on you. 131 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,461 - lmpose. 132 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,800 - Thank you 133 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,136 l... l feel better already. 134 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,804 You know? Huh. 135 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,974 l think l'll be strong enough now. 136 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,669 For our wedding night. 137 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,338 (guffawing) - Come on, Vanessa. 138 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,840 You're not entering a nunnery, 139 00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,967 you're finally getting laid. - l know. 140 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:10,221 l just don't want him to think l'm the kind of woman... 141 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:24,319 - You don't think she's going to proposition that guy, do you? 142 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:25,653 - No... - No. 143 00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:44,172 - Uh, excuse me. There was a priest here a while ago. 144 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,007 Do you know when he'll be back? 145 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,553 - Uh.. 146 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,430 Actually, l... - Uh... 147 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,349 lt was you. 148 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,519 l recognize your accent. 149 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:01,356 - Oh, you must be wondering why a priest is dressed like this. 150 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,233 Uh, well, it's to do 151 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,111 with our Attract Teenagers to the Church outreach campaign. 152 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:08,697 You should see the Monsignor's purple hair. 153 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,198 - What a great idea. 154 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:13,993 Um, l'm the one with the, uh... lust problem. 155 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,453 - Yes. Yes, yes. 156 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,163 - l know you're busy, but you said 157 00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,873 you might be able to provide further counselling. 158 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,876 - Yes, l believe l can be of service to you. 159 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,795 - You have no idea how happy that makes me. 160 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,255 - Me too. ln fact, 161 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,883 l'm willing to work at it until you find complete relief. 162 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,636 Even if it means working the entire three days. 163 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,054 And nights. 164 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,306 - You're almost a saint. 165 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,059 - Why don't l come round 166 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,228 to your place tonight? - That would be fantastic. 167 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,981 l live at... You make house calls - that's great. 168 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,858 l live at 325 Prince Avenue. - Nine o'clock. 169 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,901 - l don't know if l can last that long. 170 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,194 - Let's make it seven. - Great. 171 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:59,039 - How do l look? 172 00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,375 l've got a hot date tonight. 173 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,588 - That outfit could be a bit of a turn-off. 174 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,716 - l dunno, l think black suits me. 175 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,593 l like the way it says, ''Trust me.'' 176 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,345 - lt also says, ''One hell of a hard lay.'' 177 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:16,222 - You know, the most beautiful, sexiest girl l've ever seen 178 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:20,143 told me she's desperate for sex and then invited me round to her place. 179 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,978 - That sounds too good to be true. 180 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,356 - Yeah, well, she does think l'm a priest. 181 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:25,774 - Ah. 182 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,109 - But l don't think that's a problem. - You don't. 183 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,362 - The fact she's getting married in three days could be. 184 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,197 - Could be. - But... 185 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,823 if l sleep with her, 186 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:37,786 l'll actually be doing her a favour. - Sleeping with a woman 187 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:38,995 who thinks you're a priest 188 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,289 and is about to get married is doing her a favour. 189 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:42,832 - lt's obvious. - lt's obvious! 190 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,168 - l'm perfectly happy with a one-night stand. 191 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:47,545 - Yeah, a one-night stand always makes a woman happy. 192 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,090 - She can have her final fling with me, 193 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,300 acting out all her wild sexual fantasies, 194 00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:55,512 You know... l don't mind. - You don't mind. 195 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,098 - Oh, she'll get it out of her system, 196 00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,849 and then live happily ever after. 197 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,102 - That almost makes sense. 198 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,567 - Hmm... 199 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:13,488 l just wish l had one of those Pope hats. You know? 200 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,785 What do you think - pants on, or off? 201 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:20,578 - No, Mom, l cannot have this conversation 202 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,080 with you right now. Come in! 203 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,665 You're being unreasonable. 204 00:10:23,707 --> 00:10:26,042 l have to hang up. Bye. 205 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:30,880 Father Nick. 206 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:33,383 l still can't believe you would give up your evening 207 00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:34,884 to come and talk to me. 208 00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:37,846 - Well, they don't call us self-sacrificing for nothing. 209 00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:39,389 Now, where should we start? 210 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:40,724 - Come in. 211 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,232 Can l offer you a drink? Oh, wait - 212 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,609 l guess you don't... except on Sunday. 213 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:54,446 - Let's just get straight to those lustful thoughts. 214 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,240 Now, l've found with my many parishioners 215 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,744 that a little physical contact makes them feel less alone. 216 00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,580 - Yes, that is comforting. 217 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,040 Very comforting. 218 00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:09,169 - Perhaps you could move the burden from your small shoulders onto mine 219 00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,629 if you speak openly about your fantasies, 220 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,965 holding absolutely nothing back. 221 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:16,634 l mean, give me the details. 222 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:20,013 - This is so embarrassing. 223 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:23,683 - Well, a doctor can't make you better unless you tell him your symptoms. 224 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,060 Right? 225 00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,481 - Okay, well... 226 00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:31,566 like l was saying before, l'll... 227 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:34,319 see a guy and l'll just want to-- 228 00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,029 - Tear off his clothes 229 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:39,240 with your teeth? - Yes. Yes, there's that. 230 00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:41,743 Then l... then we're both-- 231 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,078 - Naked? 232 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,623 - And then, uh- 233 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,500 - And then... 234 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,545 - And then... - And... 235 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,673 then... 236 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,549 (something hitting the floor) 237 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,636 - My engagement ring. 238 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,020 - Can you see it? 239 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,690 - Almost... - C'mere. 240 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,527 l-l think l've got it. 241 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,832 - My ring. 242 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,709 - Oh... sorry. Yes. 243 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:36,965 - Surprise? 244 00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:48,143 - But now these gifts are especially for your honeymoon. 245 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,648 - Thank you. - So sexy. 246 00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:55,692 - You look a lot like a guy 247 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,193 my roommate used to date. 248 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,654 l never met him - she showed me snapshots. 249 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,992 Her name is Liz Appleton. - His name is even Nick! 250 00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:06,369 - Well, you know, 251 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,873 as the Bible famously says, small world, isn't it? 252 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:12,125 - l didn't know that was from the Bible. 253 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:15,462 - Hmm? Yes. Yes, it is. 254 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:17,505 Corinthians, 7:1 1 . 255 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,549 ''Thus begat a world of smallness.'' 256 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:22,594 - Yeah, she said they had sex all the time. 257 00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:23,970 This guy was, like, so hot. 258 00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:26,306 (laughter) - Maggie! 259 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,350 - lt's fine. Talk as if l weren't here. 260 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:30,685 lt's your party. What else did she say about him? 261 00:13:30,727 --> 00:13:32,645 - Actually, he dumped her for her best friend. 262 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:35,482 - What a creep. - Yeah, an absolute scumbag. 263 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:38,193 - Maybe he didn't know the other woman was her best friend. 264 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,278 l mean, that could've been incredibly bad luck. 265 00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,530 You meet someone in a bar, you don't say, 266 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:45,075 ''Oh, can l have a list of all your best friends 267 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,160 in case l'm sleeping with one of them.'' 268 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,536 No... 269 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:50,372 And maybe... 270 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:53,875 the relationship wasn't going well, except the physical side. 271 00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,421 Maybe the poor guy was... just looking for love. 272 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,966 Aren't we all just... 273 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,510 looking for love? 274 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:08,014 Well, maybe not all of us. 275 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,185 - Who wants cake? 276 00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:16,523 - Mm, cracking Beaujolais. 277 00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:17,982 - Bye - Are you sure 278 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:22,737 he's not just some cute guy that you dressed up as a priest 279 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,781 so Andre wouldn't get suspicious? 280 00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,825 - He's an angel. Go home. 281 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,034 Bye. 282 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:37,043 - lf you leave the church... my number. 283 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:52,851 - Did you write these books? 284 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,019 - Yes. 285 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,230 God, l feel so guilty. 286 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,607 lf Andre knew, he would be crushed. 287 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,818 - Oh, l don't know, we're all human. 288 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,862 He's probably having the same fantasies himself. 289 00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,613 - Oh, no! Not Andre. 290 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,282 He's incredibly moral, 291 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,576 Not to mention generous and kind 292 00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,536 and smart and-- 293 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:14,080 - No one's that good. 294 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:15,874 - Andre is. 295 00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,626 - Well, you're obviously in some sort of denial. 296 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:20,003 (door bell ringing) 297 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,005 - Excuse me. 298 00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:29,137 - He's probably some sunken-chested, snivelling little rat, 299 00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:31,973 not to mention seriously undersexed. 300 00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:33,808 Probably about four-foot tall, 301 00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:35,393 no brains... 302 00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,860 - Hello! 303 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:45,445 l'm Andre Reid. 304 00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,947 - Nick Francis. Father Nick Francis. 305 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,700 - Father Nick has been giving me some spiritual counselling 306 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,827 before the wedding. - Oh, that's wonderful. 307 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:54,412 What church are you with? 308 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,998 - Oh, l would say a priest is with all churches, 309 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,541 in a profound sense. 310 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:03,963 - Uh... l met him at St. Andrew's. 311 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:06,758 - Oh, the cathedral downtown. l've never been there. 312 00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:10,595 - Good - it's a good church. Fine. Very holy. 313 00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:12,764 - Where did you study? - Pardon? 314 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,307 - Uh, where did you study? 315 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:17,727 - Oh... l-l've... l've taken a vow of silence about that. 316 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,771 - Excuse me? 317 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,940 - Well, l did rather well at priest school, 318 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:25,485 and it was a very prestigious one, so as an act of modesty, 319 00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,946 l vowed never to tell anyone where l studied. 320 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:30,782 (laughing) - l've never heard 321 00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,617 of anything like that. - Well, you know, 322 00:16:32,701 --> 00:16:35,578 l like to keep my spiritual standards as high as possible. 323 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,289 Not this newfangled, holy-means, playing-Kumbaya-on-the-guitar. 324 00:16:38,373 --> 00:16:40,500 No, no, l'm much more of a... 325 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,627 nail-me-up-on-the-cross kind of guy! 326 00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,295 (Andre laughing) 327 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,006 Mm... - Wow. 328 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:47,465 - That's great. 329 00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:54,347 Hey, l, uh... 330 00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:57,350 just wanted to thank you for helping me. 331 00:16:57,434 --> 00:17:01,396 - Oh, l didn't help you as much as l wanted to, Vanessa. 332 00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:03,273 l... l had such high hopes. 333 00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:07,527 - Well, l guess the important thing is, l can make it to my wedding day 334 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,947 without sleeping with another guy, so we've achieved our goal, Right? 335 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,323 - Yeah. 336 00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:16,828 - Would you... would you come to the rehearsal tomorrow? 337 00:17:18,872 --> 00:17:20,999 - l don't know, l have other, uh... 338 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,002 ... parishioners. 339 00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,464 - Of course. l'm being selfish. 340 00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:31,092 l just thought that if l did have any... 341 00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,136 last-minute pangs of... lust, 342 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,680 you would be there for me? 343 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,351 - Maybe l can free up my schedule. 344 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,937 - You try and be holy. 345 00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:44,647 lt's not easy. 346 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:46,399 Another tequila, please. 347 00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:49,527 - There's a lot of honeys out there. Are you sure this one's worth 348 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:51,696 so much effort? - She's... beautiful. 349 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,240 So horny! 350 00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,242 - She must have some faults. 351 00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:58,995 - No. Not that l've noticed. 352 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,497 - See that blonde? 353 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,832 l'll bet she's better than Vanessa. 354 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,626 - Not even close. 355 00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,711 Vanessa's got this special quality. 356 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:09,547 l've never understood the word ''radiant'' before. 357 00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:11,966 - But the blonde isn't getting married in three days. 358 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,827 - Father Nick! (laughing) 359 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,370 Welcome to my house. 360 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,665 - lt's, uh... it's big. 361 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,875 - Well, when Bill Gates told me my software idea 362 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,128 was the most brilliant thing he'd ever seen, 363 00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:50,630 l had to do something with all the money, huh? 364 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,841 Oh, do you know Father Edward? Come. 365 00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:56,344 This is Father Nick, the priest l was telling you about. 366 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,179 - Yes, yes, Andre mentioned 367 00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:00,015 that you're at St. Andrew's. 368 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:02,267 l know Father James there very well. 369 00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:03,935 - Oh! 370 00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:05,937 - Oh, my goodness. 371 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,773 Oh, my... l've just remembered, l have another appointment. 372 00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:11,943 l have a funeral! Yes! Good job l'm wearing black! 373 00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:14,320 l must run. - Father Nick? 374 00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:15,905 Father Nick? 375 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,116 Hi. Could you come upstairs for a minute? 376 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,211 (moaning) 377 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,797 - l need the last rites. 378 00:19:32,881 --> 00:19:34,841 - There's another priest downstairs. 379 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,885 - You're not dying, Mom. 380 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,387 - My heart. lt's fading away. 381 00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,977 Beat. 382 00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,355 Beat. 383 00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:50,023 Beat. 384 00:19:50,732 --> 00:19:52,150 Please, Father... 385 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,444 the last rites. 386 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:57,113 - We're not even Catholic! 387 00:19:57,197 --> 00:20:00,367 - You know why l'm dying? 388 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:02,160 My daughter drove a stake into my heart! 389 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:03,870 - l did not! 390 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:08,166 We really need some emergency family counselling here. 391 00:20:08,249 --> 00:20:09,501 - Yes, actually, 392 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:12,504 uh, my specialty is pre-marital counselling. 393 00:20:12,587 --> 00:20:13,880 - You have a specialty? 394 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:15,548 - Yes. 395 00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,384 - Everyone's waiting. 396 00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:29,354 Oh, who's giving the bride away? 397 00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:30,897 - l don't have anyone. 398 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:35,527 - Oh! Father Nick can do it. 399 00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:36,861 Father... 400 00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:38,863 Right? - Would you? 401 00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:41,574 - Well... 402 00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,410 - l'd be so grateful. 403 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:46,871 - Do you know what? 404 00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,623 l would love to. 405 00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:58,717 (whispering): - l used to think about my wedding day when l was little, 406 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,803 walking down the aisle on my father's arm. 407 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:03,346 - Are you all right? 408 00:21:03,388 --> 00:21:04,639 - Yeah. 409 00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:06,683 Just happy... l guess. 410 00:21:07,726 --> 00:21:09,352 At least l've got you. 411 00:21:10,562 --> 00:21:12,564 l can't believe we just met yesterday. 412 00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:14,649 l feel like l can tell you anything. 413 00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:16,693 lt's because you're a priest, l guess. 414 00:21:22,907 --> 00:21:23,992 - Ahem. 415 00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:34,586 - Father, l... l think l'm supposed to be standing there. 416 00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:36,588 - Oh, sorry. Yes! 417 00:21:43,553 --> 00:21:46,181 - Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today 418 00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:47,974 to join in holy-- 419 00:21:48,058 --> 00:21:50,268 - l can't do this! 420 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,193 - Probably for the best. 421 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:04,157 - The wedding is off! No more wedding! 422 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,700 Wedding's bad. 423 00:22:05,742 --> 00:22:07,660 - There... there must be a reason. 424 00:22:07,744 --> 00:22:09,871 - l'm the wrong person, that's the reason. 425 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:13,166 My girlfriends are wonderful people, maybe you should propose to one of them. 426 00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:15,377 - Okay, okay, w-w-wait here, wait here. 427 00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:24,135 - lt's not like that purple satin bridesmaid dress 428 00:22:24,219 --> 00:22:26,012 won't come in handy. 429 00:22:26,096 --> 00:22:27,555 - l just don't understand it. 430 00:22:27,639 --> 00:22:29,683 l mean, they seem like the perfect couple. 431 00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:31,393 Don't you think so, Father Nick? 432 00:22:31,434 --> 00:22:34,354 - Who knows? Hmm? 433 00:22:34,437 --> 00:22:36,356 Who knows? 434 00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:39,067 The human heart is full of surprises. 435 00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:42,821 - Father Nick. 436 00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,413 - l thought maybe Father Nick could help. 437 00:22:51,454 --> 00:22:53,415 - Andre, l want to tell you something. 438 00:22:53,456 --> 00:22:55,208 - Oh, no, no, no, l can explain everything. 439 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,335 - l want to elope. Now. 440 00:23:02,716 --> 00:23:04,467 l love you. - l love you. 441 00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,803 - Uh, are you sure about this? 442 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,138 - Positive. 443 00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:10,807 - Well, you've obviously been having second thoughts about this man. 444 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,393 - Not about Andre, about me. - Well, this is a little unusual, 445 00:23:13,476 --> 00:23:15,770 but if it's what the bride and groom want. 446 00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:16,980 - lt is. - Uh, Father, 447 00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:19,149 is there a phone l could use? 448 00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:21,026 - Yes, right through there. 449 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,822 Oh, yes, the marriage, yes. 450 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:27,824 Well, we'll get right on it here. 451 00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:30,118 We'll, uh... we'll, uh... 452 00:23:30,201 --> 00:23:32,120 Have you got the rings? 453 00:23:32,162 --> 00:23:33,663 (phone ringing) - Hello. 454 00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:34,956 - S/teve, 455 00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:36,875 l've done something stupid. 456 00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:38,710 - l know. You've disguised yourself as a priest 457 00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,337 to trick a woman into sleeping with you. 458 00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:41,963 - No, no, no, it's worse than that. - Worse? 459 00:23:42,047 --> 00:23:45,425 - l've fallen in love with her. We were standing in front of the priest, 460 00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:48,678 and it was like suddenly l wanted him to say, 461 00:23:48,762 --> 00:23:51,014 ''Do you, Nick Francis, take this woman?'' 462 00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:54,142 And then her fiance pushed me aside as if l meant absolutely nothing. 463 00:23:54,184 --> 00:23:57,270 - Nick Francis in love. Are you sure about this? 464 00:23:57,354 --> 00:23:59,064 - l'm sure. 465 00:23:59,773 --> 00:24:01,858 /- Well, at least it was only /the wedding rehearsal. 466 00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:03,902 You still got two days to break up her engagement. 467 00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:07,197 - No. She's getting married right now. 468 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,324 - l guess you lost this one, buddy. Tough break. 469 00:24:09,366 --> 00:24:12,369 - Let me talk to him. l've been in the exact same situation! 470 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:14,496 - l wouldn't have thought it was that common. 471 00:24:14,579 --> 00:24:17,123 - Forty years ago, l fell in love with a beautiful woman. 472 00:24:17,207 --> 00:24:20,460 - Wh-wh-who are you? - S/he was engaged 473 00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:23,672 to someone else. - Did she think you were a priest? 474 00:24:23,713 --> 00:24:26,758 - Maybe not the exact same situation, but similar. 475 00:24:26,841 --> 00:24:31,429 The night before the wedding, l decided honesty was the best policy. 476 00:24:31,513 --> 00:24:35,058 /l told her my true feelings. S/he called off the wedding, 477 00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:36,893 married me instead. - Huh. 478 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:38,687 - Honesty. 479 00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,897 Now there's a thought. 480 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,983 - That's beautiful. So everything turned out great. 481 00:24:44,067 --> 00:24:47,862 - No. Her fiance bought a shotgun, tried to kill me! 482 00:24:47,904 --> 00:24:51,032 My leg still hurts on rainy days. 483 00:24:51,074 --> 00:24:53,702 And the lying bitch was frigid! 484 00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:57,163 - Nick! Nick, are you still there? 485 00:24:58,415 --> 00:25:00,250 (under his breath): - Honesty is the best policy. 486 00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:02,460 Andre, can l have a word in private, please? 487 00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:03,837 - Why, Father? 488 00:25:05,714 --> 00:25:09,009 - The younger priests have a whole new way. 489 00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:11,136 lt's a new generation. 490 00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:13,138 - Ah. - Hands on. 491 00:25:13,221 --> 00:25:14,597 - Right. 492 00:25:14,681 --> 00:25:16,307 - Um, so, Andre, um... 493 00:25:16,391 --> 00:25:18,852 there's something l'd like to speak to you about. 494 00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:20,186 Uh... 495 00:25:21,563 --> 00:25:23,398 Andre, you can't marry Vanessa. 496 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,608 - Why not? - Uh.., 497 00:25:25,692 --> 00:25:27,736 l can't tell you. 498 00:25:29,571 --> 00:25:32,532 - l'm confused, Father. Wh-wh-why can't you tell me? 499 00:25:32,615 --> 00:25:34,909 - Because... she confided the reason to me 500 00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:38,621 in the sanctity of the confessional and my lips are sealed. 501 00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:42,042 So l think the best solution to this little problem 502 00:25:42,125 --> 00:25:44,127 is for you to trust me, 503 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:46,671 call off the wedding, and don't tell her 504 00:25:46,755 --> 00:25:48,340 that l said anything. 505 00:25:49,924 --> 00:25:53,178 - l'm sure if it's important, Vanessa will tell me herself. 506 00:25:54,095 --> 00:25:55,513 - Let's play charades! 507 00:25:56,431 --> 00:25:58,058 - Charades? 508 00:25:58,141 --> 00:26:00,727 - Charades. That way, l wouldn't be telling you anything. 509 00:26:00,810 --> 00:26:03,146 - Father, l've never heard of anything like this. 510 00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,106 - l just think as a priest, sometimes, 511 00:26:05,148 --> 00:26:07,359 it's better for me to put the greater good 512 00:26:07,442 --> 00:26:09,903 ahead of a little, teensy-weensy, little bit of a good! 513 00:26:09,986 --> 00:26:12,947 - But the sanctity of the confessional, Fath... 514 00:26:16,493 --> 00:26:18,870 Six words. First word. 515 00:26:20,705 --> 00:26:22,332 Uh... uh... 516 00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:26,920 Uh, you're, uh, riding a bicycle. 517 00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:28,630 Uh, you're swinging a rope. 518 00:26:28,672 --> 00:26:30,298 You're, uh, swinging... You're... 519 00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:32,384 you're slapping somebody! You're wiggling... 520 00:26:32,467 --> 00:26:34,427 Father, l... 521 00:26:34,511 --> 00:26:36,888 l don't know what... You're kissing the air, 522 00:26:36,971 --> 00:26:39,099 you're, uh, kissing the air... 523 00:26:39,182 --> 00:26:40,975 Um, you're... 524 00:26:41,059 --> 00:26:42,936 Ooh-ooh, oh... 525 00:26:43,019 --> 00:26:44,688 you're looking at your fingernails! Fingernails... 526 00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:46,898 You're nearsighted. Farsighted. 527 00:26:46,981 --> 00:26:48,149 Dancing. 528 00:26:48,608 --> 00:26:49,567 Dancing... 529 00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:52,737 You're Hawaii, from Hawaii. 530 00:26:52,821 --> 00:26:54,197 Hawaii? No? 531 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:55,532 Uh... 532 00:26:57,033 --> 00:26:58,034 Okay, opposite. 533 00:26:58,118 --> 00:27:00,161 Opposite... Uh, boxing. 534 00:27:00,245 --> 00:27:01,621 Boxing, boxing... 535 00:27:01,705 --> 00:27:02,789 Uh... 536 00:27:02,872 --> 00:27:04,207 You're very, uh... 537 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,835 You're strong, you're strong! You're, uh, strong. 538 00:27:06,876 --> 00:27:08,336 You're spitting... 539 00:27:08,378 --> 00:27:10,505 You're very manly, very man... 540 00:27:10,547 --> 00:27:12,007 Man! You're a man. 541 00:27:12,048 --> 00:27:14,509 You're a man. Opposite - woman. You're a woman. 542 00:27:14,551 --> 00:27:15,802 A woman... a small woman. 543 00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:17,512 You're a woman... You're a she. 544 00:27:17,554 --> 00:27:20,682 She. She! She... Two words. 545 00:27:20,724 --> 00:27:23,351 Second word, yes. Uh, sounds like... 546 00:27:23,393 --> 00:27:24,811 Sounds like... 547 00:27:24,894 --> 00:27:26,855 Uh, you're crawling on the ground. 548 00:27:26,896 --> 00:27:28,732 You're crawling on the ground... 549 00:27:28,815 --> 00:27:31,443 You're a dog, you're a dog spinning... 550 00:27:31,526 --> 00:27:32,944 chasing his tail You're... 551 00:27:33,028 --> 00:27:34,487 You're playing the piano... 552 00:27:34,571 --> 00:27:35,947 Oh, you're being eaten alive 553 00:27:36,031 --> 00:27:38,491 by... You've got ants on you! 554 00:27:38,575 --> 00:27:39,451 Ants! ANTS!! 555 00:27:39,534 --> 00:27:41,578 Ants... You've got ants, sounds like ants... 556 00:27:41,661 --> 00:27:42,787 Went. She went... 557 00:27:42,871 --> 00:27:45,373 She w... wants. She wants... 558 00:27:45,457 --> 00:27:46,458 Third word. 559 00:27:46,541 --> 00:27:48,084 Two... two, two. 560 00:27:48,168 --> 00:27:50,170 Two. Two. She wants to... 561 00:27:50,253 --> 00:27:52,130 To... Fourth word. 562 00:27:52,213 --> 00:27:54,799 Second... two syllables. First syllable... 563 00:27:54,883 --> 00:27:58,094 She wants to... Um, you're like... 564 00:27:58,178 --> 00:28:00,722 Oh, you're like a mother kissing the baby. 565 00:28:00,764 --> 00:28:01,848 Kissing... (making kissing sounds ) 566 00:28:01,931 --> 00:28:04,184 Kissing the baby. No. She wants to fly 567 00:28:04,267 --> 00:28:06,227 She wants to fly... She's a... 568 00:28:06,269 --> 00:28:08,605 a fairy. She's a... 569 00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:11,191 she's eating candle wax. 570 00:28:11,274 --> 00:28:12,734 She wants to... 571 00:28:12,776 --> 00:28:14,277 Eating candle wax... 572 00:28:14,361 --> 00:28:15,612 she's... (buzzing sound) 573 00:28:18,365 --> 00:28:20,909 You're a Japanese airplane? 574 00:28:20,950 --> 00:28:22,994 (buzzing) 575 00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:27,624 A fly! She wants to fly... 576 00:28:27,707 --> 00:28:29,459 No. She wants to fly... 577 00:28:29,542 --> 00:28:32,087 she wants to fly... she wants to... Ah! 578 00:28:32,128 --> 00:28:34,464 She wants to... A bee! She wants to be... 579 00:28:34,547 --> 00:28:36,633 Oh, she wants to be. She wants to be... 580 00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:38,093 Two. Yeah, second syllable. 581 00:28:38,134 --> 00:28:39,636 Uh... 582 00:28:39,719 --> 00:28:41,179 (Nick moaning) 583 00:28:42,222 --> 00:28:44,474 She wants to be... (moaning loudly) 584 00:28:50,647 --> 00:28:52,440 (exclaiming) Father, l hate to say it, 585 00:28:52,482 --> 00:28:54,317 but it looks an awful lot like a... 586 00:28:54,401 --> 00:28:55,694 an org... 587 00:28:56,611 --> 00:28:57,946 Aha-ha-ha-ha! 588 00:28:57,987 --> 00:28:59,322 - Ha-ha-ha! 589 00:28:59,406 --> 00:29:01,991 - She wants to become! 590 00:29:02,909 --> 00:29:04,703 Fifth word. 591 00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:05,870 A. 592 00:29:05,954 --> 00:29:07,831 (lauging) She wants to become a... 593 00:29:07,914 --> 00:29:10,834 Sixth word. Final word. 594 00:29:10,875 --> 00:29:12,335 Final word...! 595 00:29:12,419 --> 00:29:15,171 She wants to become... She wants to become an egg! 596 00:29:15,255 --> 00:29:16,965 There's a fly around her head. 597 00:29:17,007 --> 00:29:19,551 She's... No, she wants to become 598 00:29:19,634 --> 00:29:22,303 a holy person. She wants to become... 599 00:29:22,345 --> 00:29:23,722 the world. 600 00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:25,849 Opposite. Opposite... 601 00:29:25,932 --> 00:29:28,685 She's, uh... You're showing... 602 00:29:28,768 --> 00:29:30,854 your bum, you're showing your bum 603 00:29:30,937 --> 00:29:33,189 to people Oh, you're lifting... 604 00:29:33,273 --> 00:29:35,442 You're a stripper? You're a stripper... 605 00:29:35,525 --> 00:29:37,235 you're a... Opposite of a stripper. 606 00:29:37,318 --> 00:29:39,696 Opposite of a stripper. You put your clothes on. 607 00:29:39,779 --> 00:29:41,322 You put your clothes on and pray. 608 00:29:41,364 --> 00:29:42,657 You pray... - Ohm... 609 00:29:42,699 --> 00:29:44,200 - You're a Buddhist monk. 610 00:29:44,284 --> 00:29:47,203 You're a fat Buddhist monk. Jesus. Uh... 611 00:29:47,287 --> 00:29:49,581 A nun!!! - Yes! 612 00:29:49,664 --> 00:29:51,332 - She wants to become... 613 00:29:51,374 --> 00:29:53,084 She wants to become a nun? 614 00:29:58,882 --> 00:30:00,884 - l've been ditched. - Ditched is such a harsh word. 615 00:30:00,967 --> 00:30:04,179 Why don't you think of it as being set free. 616 00:30:04,220 --> 00:30:07,682 - He won't even tell me why. - Well, you wouldn't tell him 617 00:30:07,724 --> 00:30:09,851 why you called off the wedding earlier today. 618 00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:11,311 - l was too ashamed. 619 00:30:11,394 --> 00:30:13,188 - So it was the lust problem. 620 00:30:13,229 --> 00:30:15,023 - Mm. 621 00:30:15,065 --> 00:30:17,067 lt's bigger than you realize. 622 00:30:19,069 --> 00:30:21,363 My family has... 623 00:30:21,446 --> 00:30:23,031 hereditary lust. 624 00:30:23,073 --> 00:30:24,741 lt's in the genes. 625 00:30:24,824 --> 00:30:27,577 - Your mother seems to have it under control. 626 00:30:27,660 --> 00:30:30,622 - My father. - l thought he'd passed away. 627 00:30:30,705 --> 00:30:33,708 - My mom kicked him out six months ago. 628 00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:36,336 He had a wandering eye... 629 00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:37,962 hands... other things. 630 00:30:38,046 --> 00:30:40,924 - And you think you've got the same problem. 631 00:30:41,007 --> 00:30:42,717 - Yes. But with your help, 632 00:30:42,801 --> 00:30:46,012 l do think l could make a marriage work. 633 00:30:46,096 --> 00:30:47,222 - Mm... 634 00:30:47,263 --> 00:30:49,808 it's only been 24 hours. 635 00:30:49,891 --> 00:30:51,393 - You're right. 636 00:30:51,434 --> 00:30:53,478 l probably wouldn't have lasted much longer. 637 00:30:53,561 --> 00:30:55,397 - Have you considered the possibility 638 00:30:55,438 --> 00:30:58,817 that God was trying to give you a message? 639 00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:03,321 - God wanted me to have an affair right before my wedding? 640 00:31:03,405 --> 00:31:05,198 That seems unlikely. 641 00:31:05,281 --> 00:31:06,991 - Maybe he was trying to tell you 642 00:31:07,075 --> 00:31:09,828 that Andre is the wrong man. 643 00:31:09,911 --> 00:31:12,872 Maybe, somehow, this whole thing was a way for God, 644 00:31:12,956 --> 00:31:15,917 Fate, call it what you will, 645 00:31:15,959 --> 00:31:19,921 to get you to meet the right man 646 00:31:20,005 --> 00:31:21,506 under amazing circumstances, 647 00:31:21,589 --> 00:31:25,510 circumstances that you will look back on one day, 648 00:31:25,593 --> 00:31:27,846 laugh about, 649 00:31:27,929 --> 00:31:30,056 telling your grandchildren... 650 00:31:33,101 --> 00:31:34,561 Vanessa? 651 00:31:38,106 --> 00:31:39,858 (laughter) 652 00:31:42,110 --> 00:31:43,737 /- Father Edward explained to me 653 00:31:43,820 --> 00:31:46,114 that it's very common, when people are first exposed 654 00:31:46,197 --> 00:31:48,533 to a new religion, to get a little carried away. 655 00:31:48,616 --> 00:31:51,453 He assured me that Vanessa's case is nothing more than that. 656 00:31:51,494 --> 00:31:52,620 (laughing) l was so relieved. 657 00:31:52,704 --> 00:31:55,790 - Mm, l'm sure you were. - Although you were wrong on this one, 658 00:31:55,832 --> 00:31:56,958 l really appreciate your concern. 659 00:31:57,042 --> 00:31:59,210 You're a credit to that collar, Father Nick. 660 00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:02,172 You will be at the wedding the day after tomorrow, won't you? 661 00:32:27,739 --> 00:32:29,407 - Father, are you all right? - l'm fine! 662 00:32:29,491 --> 00:32:31,076 - Would you like me to get a doctor? 663 00:32:31,159 --> 00:32:32,077 - No! 664 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,079 - But if you're suffering! 665 00:32:34,162 --> 00:32:35,455 - l'm not suffering! 666 00:32:35,538 --> 00:32:38,333 - Ah, maybe this is a test. Maybe God is trying to find out 667 00:32:38,375 --> 00:32:40,335 if l'm as worthy as the Good Samaritan. 668 00:32:40,377 --> 00:32:43,088 - lt's not a test, okay! 669 00:32:43,171 --> 00:32:46,675 - lf l leave you, l could be dooming myself to eternity in hell! 670 00:32:46,716 --> 00:32:48,426 - Bless you - now fuck off! 671 00:32:48,510 --> 00:32:50,804 - HEY! THERE'S A SlCK PRlEST HERE! 672 00:32:50,887 --> 00:32:52,555 Right here! 673 00:32:52,639 --> 00:32:54,057 He wasn't gonna... 674 00:32:54,099 --> 00:32:55,850 THE PRlEST! HE COULD BE DYlNG! 675 00:33:00,105 --> 00:33:02,399 - Hi, Mom. /- You'll never give me grandchildren. 676 00:33:02,482 --> 00:33:05,276 l might have seen this coming if we were Catholic. 677 00:33:07,904 --> 00:33:09,781 - What are you wearing?! 678 00:33:09,864 --> 00:33:11,866 - l was going to fix you up 679 00:33:11,908 --> 00:33:13,535 with Mrs. Layton's niece. She's lovely. 680 00:33:13,618 --> 00:33:15,954 But not if it's going to cost you your career. 681 00:33:16,037 --> 00:33:17,539 - That's why l'm doing this! 682 00:33:17,580 --> 00:33:19,708 - This has something to do with Mrs. Layton's niece? 683 00:33:19,749 --> 00:33:22,669 - No! l'm doing it because l'm in love. 684 00:33:22,752 --> 00:33:24,754 She's getting married in two days. 685 00:33:24,838 --> 00:33:27,090 - So you're a priest and getting married in two days? 686 00:33:27,173 --> 00:33:29,718 - No, she's marrying someone else. 687 00:33:29,759 --> 00:33:32,095 - You've lost your mind. My son has lost his mind! 688 00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:34,681 On the bright side, l might get grandchildren after all. 689 00:33:34,764 --> 00:33:36,975 Of course they might need a little remedial schooling. 690 00:33:37,058 --> 00:33:38,768 - Mom, l will give you grandchildren someday. 691 00:33:38,852 --> 00:33:42,939 - The men you date, l don't want to see what evil spawn they'd breed. 692 00:33:43,023 --> 00:33:46,776 - l haven't lost my mind. l met the perfect woman. 693 00:33:46,860 --> 00:33:48,903 She's beautiful and so hor-- 694 00:33:48,945 --> 00:33:51,448 - She's a whore?! And she's a thing for priests? 695 00:33:51,531 --> 00:33:53,783 Call me old-fashioned, but l think that's sick! 696 00:33:53,867 --> 00:33:55,035 - She's not a whore! 697 00:33:55,118 --> 00:33:57,579 She's bright and funny and... 698 00:33:57,620 --> 00:33:59,247 What's the point? 699 00:33:59,330 --> 00:34:00,999 l've lost her. 700 00:34:08,548 --> 00:34:10,300 - Tell me, Sandy. 701 00:34:10,383 --> 00:34:11,968 Was it something l did? 702 00:34:12,052 --> 00:34:14,346 - Yeah, Mom. lt was everything you did. 703 00:34:56,429 --> 00:34:57,806 - S/omething wrong, Nick? 704 00:34:57,847 --> 00:34:59,182 - Uh, no. 705 00:34:59,265 --> 00:35:01,810 l'm just destined for a life of misery. 706 00:35:01,851 --> 00:35:04,354 - Ah... Romantic troubles, hmm? 707 00:35:05,689 --> 00:35:09,734 - Have you ever lied to a woman to try and get her into bed 708 00:35:09,818 --> 00:35:12,153 and it all kind of backfired and you...? 709 00:35:12,195 --> 00:35:13,988 No, l guess not. 710 00:35:14,030 --> 00:35:16,032 - And just how did it backfire? 711 00:35:17,367 --> 00:35:19,994 - l fell in love with her. 712 00:35:20,036 --> 00:35:22,664 But now, even though she's marrying another man, 713 00:35:22,706 --> 00:35:26,501 l... l don't know how to tell her that l love her. 714 00:35:26,584 --> 00:35:28,336 She thinks l'm somebody else. 715 00:35:28,378 --> 00:35:29,838 - Well... 716 00:35:29,879 --> 00:35:32,382 what kind of a lie did you tell her? 717 00:35:34,551 --> 00:35:36,386 - Oh, let's change the subject, Father. 718 00:35:36,469 --> 00:35:38,555 - Oh, now, come on, Nick. Now, come on. 719 00:35:38,638 --> 00:35:40,515 lt can't be all that horrible. 720 00:35:40,557 --> 00:35:42,058 What did you do, 721 00:35:42,100 --> 00:35:45,895 suggest you have a lot of money, a big car, 722 00:35:45,979 --> 00:35:47,522 a really impressive job? 723 00:35:47,564 --> 00:35:48,857 - Mm... 724 00:35:48,898 --> 00:35:51,026 Uh, the last one. 725 00:35:51,067 --> 00:35:54,612 - Well, now, you have nothing to be ashamed of. 726 00:35:54,696 --> 00:35:57,073 You are an artist 727 00:35:57,157 --> 00:35:58,950 Now, the parishioners 728 00:35:59,034 --> 00:36:01,619 are really raving about your work. 729 00:36:01,703 --> 00:36:03,121 - Thank you. 730 00:36:03,204 --> 00:36:05,331 Thanks, Father James. - Hmm-hmm. 731 00:36:08,543 --> 00:36:10,503 - l was so afraid l wouldn't find you. 732 00:36:10,587 --> 00:36:13,465 - l'm going to go and take my coffee break now. 733 00:36:13,548 --> 00:36:15,967 - Uh... hello. l'm Father James. 734 00:36:16,051 --> 00:36:18,219 - Hi. Vanessa Sinclair. 735 00:36:18,261 --> 00:36:19,929 Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 736 00:36:20,013 --> 00:36:22,349 - l have to ask you something. lt's about my wedding. 737 00:36:22,432 --> 00:36:25,477 - Vanessa, me and Father James have a little business to finish up. 738 00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,145 lf you could wait one minute? 739 00:36:27,228 --> 00:36:30,023 - You must be the woman that Nick has been telling me about. 740 00:36:30,106 --> 00:36:31,858 Now, uh... 741 00:36:31,941 --> 00:36:35,028 l don't think you know the whole truth about this young man. 742 00:36:35,111 --> 00:36:38,073 - Why don't we do this sometime next week? 743 00:36:38,114 --> 00:36:40,658 Do the brunch thing. And... l'm really busy today. 744 00:36:40,742 --> 00:36:43,328 - l'm going to come right out and say it. 745 00:36:43,411 --> 00:36:46,998 Now, whatever he may have led you to believe, 746 00:36:47,082 --> 00:36:48,667 the truth about Nick... 747 00:36:50,293 --> 00:36:52,504 He's the finest carpenter 748 00:36:52,587 --> 00:36:54,381 l've ever known. 749 00:36:54,464 --> 00:36:56,549 - Carpenter? - Yes. 750 00:36:56,633 --> 00:36:58,301 And think what that means. 751 00:36:58,385 --> 00:37:01,096 He can take a rough piece of wood - 752 00:37:01,179 --> 00:37:04,265 something most people would walk past without ever noticing - 753 00:37:04,349 --> 00:37:06,101 and then he shapes it 754 00:37:06,142 --> 00:37:08,269 into an object of great beauty 755 00:37:08,311 --> 00:37:11,481 that brings joy to the rest of the world. 756 00:37:17,696 --> 00:37:19,155 - l understand now. 757 00:37:22,867 --> 00:37:23,993 Jesus was a carpenter. 758 00:37:24,077 --> 00:37:25,787 - Uh... 759 00:37:25,870 --> 00:37:27,372 that's true. 760 00:37:28,873 --> 00:37:32,669 - And we're all just rough pieces of wood, 761 00:37:32,752 --> 00:37:34,838 until God and the Church 762 00:37:34,921 --> 00:37:37,882 shape us into beautiful works of art. 763 00:37:40,385 --> 00:37:41,845 - Wha...? Uh-uh-uh... 764 00:37:41,886 --> 00:37:43,221 Why, yes. 765 00:37:44,723 --> 00:37:46,683 - And so you're right. 766 00:37:46,725 --> 00:37:49,477 Our friend here is a wonderful carpenter. 767 00:37:53,106 --> 00:37:56,484 - l had never thought of priests as being like carpenters before. 768 00:37:56,526 --> 00:37:58,987 - Father James - always a sucker for a metaphor. 769 00:37:59,029 --> 00:38:02,699 - l have to confess, l came here to ask you a favour. 770 00:38:02,782 --> 00:38:03,825 - Great. 771 00:38:03,867 --> 00:38:05,452 Whatever - l'll do it. 772 00:38:05,535 --> 00:38:06,953 - You're such an incredible person. 773 00:38:07,037 --> 00:38:09,497 l haven't even told you what it is yet! 774 00:38:10,874 --> 00:38:13,293 l want my father to give me away at the wedding, 775 00:38:13,376 --> 00:38:15,337 even if my mother never speaks to me again. 776 00:38:15,378 --> 00:38:18,340 l mean, l know what he did, but he's still my dad. 777 00:38:18,381 --> 00:38:19,799 The thing is... 778 00:38:19,883 --> 00:38:22,677 l'm kind of scared of going over there alone. 779 00:38:26,222 --> 00:38:28,641 Would you mind wearing your priest clothes? 780 00:38:28,725 --> 00:38:30,477 He might be more apt 781 00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:33,730 to listening to somebody who looks like a spiritual authority. 782 00:38:33,813 --> 00:38:35,357 - Actually... they're at home... 783 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:38,360 - Great! l'd love to see where you live. 784 00:38:40,070 --> 00:38:41,363 - Great! 785 00:38:47,744 --> 00:38:49,329 - This is not what l expected. 786 00:38:49,412 --> 00:38:51,498 - Research. - Research? 787 00:38:51,581 --> 00:38:53,667 - l spend most of my nights reading the Bible. 788 00:38:53,750 --> 00:38:57,128 You know, ''Jesus wept.'' But l can't do my job well 789 00:38:57,212 --> 00:39:00,340 if l lose touch with the life of the average sinner. 790 00:39:00,423 --> 00:39:03,259 - l guess that makes sense. - l get so tired, though - 791 00:39:03,343 --> 00:39:05,887 all that raunchy rock music and X-rated videos. 792 00:39:05,970 --> 00:39:09,432 But as l said, the name of the game is self-sacrifice. 793 00:39:09,516 --> 00:39:11,935 - You're nothing like l expected a priest would be. 794 00:39:12,018 --> 00:39:13,645 - l hope that's a compliment. 795 00:39:15,355 --> 00:39:16,981 l'll get my robes. 796 00:39:20,860 --> 00:39:23,405 - They're in their special place of honour. Of course. 797 00:39:33,707 --> 00:39:35,125 - lt's great to be with you. 798 00:39:36,543 --> 00:39:38,795 - lt's great to be with you, too. 799 00:39:40,463 --> 00:39:41,923 - l mean, with you, 800 00:39:41,965 --> 00:39:43,174 l can be honest. 801 00:39:43,258 --> 00:39:46,553 Most guys would take advantage of the situation 802 00:39:46,636 --> 00:39:48,138 if they... 803 00:39:48,221 --> 00:39:50,724 knew how l just wanted to... 804 00:39:50,807 --> 00:39:53,685 drag a man to the nearest bed and... 805 00:40:00,442 --> 00:40:02,027 - Vanessa... 806 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,573 - ls that a tattoo? 807 00:40:07,323 --> 00:40:09,409 - What does it say? - lt's really embarrassing. 808 00:40:09,492 --> 00:40:12,370 l underwent the excruciating pain to actually embed in my skin, 809 00:40:12,454 --> 00:40:13,705 like a crown of thorns, 810 00:40:13,788 --> 00:40:18,293 a slogan that would constantly remind me of the evil that is in one's own heart 811 00:40:18,335 --> 00:40:20,211 that we must wage a battle against! 812 00:40:23,757 --> 00:40:25,050 Amen. 813 00:40:28,053 --> 00:40:32,140 - You know, l'm not so sure that this is a good idea. 814 00:40:32,182 --> 00:40:34,684 l mean, my mom would be so humiliated 815 00:40:34,726 --> 00:40:37,854 if my dad came to the wedding with some... bimbo. 816 00:40:37,937 --> 00:40:39,898 - Oh, come on, what are the chances of that? 817 00:40:39,981 --> 00:40:42,067 - l'll be right back! 818 00:40:42,150 --> 00:40:45,070 Don't you dare get out of that bed, hot stuff! 819 00:40:46,780 --> 00:40:47,906 Hi! 820 00:40:49,449 --> 00:40:52,035 Hare Krishna, right? 821 00:40:52,118 --> 00:40:54,871 - Maybe you could save me a trip to the store. 822 00:40:54,954 --> 00:40:57,374 You wouldn't happen to have a spare condom, 823 00:40:57,457 --> 00:40:58,875 would you? 824 00:40:58,958 --> 00:41:00,960 (laughing) 825 00:41:01,044 --> 00:41:02,671 - That's what marriage is - 826 00:41:02,712 --> 00:41:04,172 fidelity, right? 827 00:41:04,214 --> 00:41:06,424 - l totally agree. 828 00:41:06,508 --> 00:41:08,009 Absolutely, uh... 829 00:41:08,093 --> 00:41:09,594 Oh, shit. 830 00:41:11,054 --> 00:41:12,097 - Pardon? 831 00:41:12,180 --> 00:41:14,474 - Oh shit-a-hinki-dinki-du. 832 00:41:14,557 --> 00:41:15,975 lt's a... it's a... 833 00:41:16,059 --> 00:41:17,560 it's an old Hindu prayer 834 00:41:17,644 --> 00:41:20,063 which means that when you meet the right person, 835 00:41:20,146 --> 00:41:21,981 all others must be forgotten, 836 00:41:22,065 --> 00:41:24,359 like the leaves of another summer... 837 00:41:24,401 --> 00:41:25,527 - Nick? 838 00:41:25,610 --> 00:41:26,986 - Oh, yes... 839 00:41:27,070 --> 00:41:28,238 - Nick, is that you? 840 00:41:28,321 --> 00:41:30,073 - Oh, no, no... 841 00:41:30,156 --> 00:41:32,409 - You're a priest? 842 00:41:32,492 --> 00:41:34,994 (laughing) Oh, my... No, l don't believe it. 843 00:41:35,078 --> 00:41:36,287 You, of all people. 844 00:41:36,371 --> 00:41:39,040 - Oh, actually, l've always had a spiritual side, Janice, 845 00:41:39,082 --> 00:41:40,834 l just didn't flaunt it. 846 00:41:40,917 --> 00:41:42,377 - Oh, my God, 847 00:41:42,419 --> 00:41:44,462 this feels so weird. 848 00:41:44,546 --> 00:41:47,007 l mean, just to think that l had the... 849 00:41:47,090 --> 00:41:49,300 hottest sex of my life with a priest. 850 00:41:50,593 --> 00:41:52,345 That is just too kinky for words. 851 00:41:52,429 --> 00:41:54,764 You know, l was... 852 00:41:54,848 --> 00:41:57,559 thinking about maybe giving you a call sometime, 853 00:41:57,642 --> 00:41:59,352 have another go at it? 854 00:41:59,436 --> 00:42:02,105 But l guess, under the current circumstances, 855 00:42:02,188 --> 00:42:03,690 that would be out of the question. 856 00:42:03,773 --> 00:42:05,942 - Yes, it... it would. 857 00:42:07,402 --> 00:42:09,446 - Well, you sure are full of surprises, 858 00:42:09,529 --> 00:42:12,365 you little devil. Well, not Devil. 859 00:42:12,449 --> 00:42:15,326 Although in the old days, 860 00:42:15,410 --> 00:42:17,078 that sure would've been the word for it. 861 00:42:17,162 --> 00:42:18,329 You should've known him then. 862 00:42:19,581 --> 00:42:21,666 Oh, you're not one of those trendy nuns in streetclothes, 863 00:42:21,750 --> 00:42:23,752 are you? - No. 864 00:42:23,793 --> 00:42:27,297 - Well, let me tell you something. He sure showed me heaven 865 00:42:27,380 --> 00:42:28,840 a few times. 866 00:42:31,968 --> 00:42:34,429 - Janice was exaggerating. 867 00:42:34,471 --> 00:42:35,930 l mean, some. 868 00:42:40,769 --> 00:42:42,145 - l've figured it out! 869 00:42:42,228 --> 00:42:45,774 - What? - Why you said you'd counsel me, 870 00:42:45,815 --> 00:42:47,317 why you came to my home, 871 00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,736 why we've been spending all this time together! 872 00:42:49,819 --> 00:42:52,280 - Vanessa, this is not how it looks. 873 00:42:52,322 --> 00:42:54,949 - l thought a priest would've led too sheltered a life 874 00:42:54,991 --> 00:42:56,910 to understand what l have been going through. 875 00:42:56,993 --> 00:42:59,371 But you... 876 00:42:59,454 --> 00:43:01,456 (sighing) lf l hadn't met you, 877 00:43:01,539 --> 00:43:03,875 l probably would've slept with another man 878 00:43:03,958 --> 00:43:05,960 and had to call off my wedding. 879 00:43:06,044 --> 00:43:08,755 Do you know how upset Andre would've been?! 880 00:43:08,838 --> 00:43:10,715 - lt's really important that you marry the right person. 881 00:43:10,799 --> 00:43:13,593 Andre, he will understand. 882 00:43:13,677 --> 00:43:16,137 A little bit of time and-- - My girlfriends are throwing me 883 00:43:16,179 --> 00:43:18,973 a bachelorette party tonight. l was a little worried about it. 884 00:43:19,015 --> 00:43:21,309 To be honest, you know how they can be. 885 00:43:21,351 --> 00:43:22,977 - Vanessa... 886 00:43:23,061 --> 00:43:25,188 can we talk, talk? 887 00:43:25,271 --> 00:43:28,983 - No, we don't have to! That's what l'm trying to say. 888 00:43:29,067 --> 00:43:30,527 l hear you. 889 00:43:30,568 --> 00:43:33,571 l just have to put other men out of my mind 890 00:43:33,655 --> 00:43:36,866 and focus on Andre. 891 00:43:36,950 --> 00:43:40,036 His friends are throwing him a stag party tonight, also, 892 00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:42,580 and l don't have the slightest fear 893 00:43:42,664 --> 00:43:45,458 that he'll cheat on me with another woman. 894 00:43:47,836 --> 00:43:50,046 Nick. Nick! Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick! 895 00:43:50,088 --> 00:43:52,048 Just wait. 896 00:43:52,090 --> 00:43:54,384 - This way, they won't think you're a hooker. 897 00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:58,805 Okay, he likes his women to be very demure and... moral. 898 00:43:58,888 --> 00:44:01,641 Why did l pick you? Mom would've been better! 899 00:44:01,725 --> 00:44:03,101 Let's just go! 900 00:44:03,184 --> 00:44:05,603 (party sounds ) - WHO ATE MY BANANA?! 901 00:44:07,063 --> 00:44:08,606 - You're perfect! 902 00:44:27,751 --> 00:44:29,085 Excuse me! 903 00:44:30,754 --> 00:44:32,380 Hello! Anyone home?! 904 00:44:33,340 --> 00:44:35,550 We met earlier today. 905 00:44:38,428 --> 00:44:41,431 - Oh, yeah. You're that Hare Krishna guy. 906 00:44:41,514 --> 00:44:44,267 - l thought you were involved with Mr. Sinclair. 907 00:44:45,602 --> 00:44:47,645 - That old man? Get real. 908 00:44:47,729 --> 00:44:50,231 He's got the apartment upstairs. 909 00:44:57,197 --> 00:45:00,658 - So my little girl's getting married tomorrow. 910 00:45:00,742 --> 00:45:02,869 - Yeah. - She didn't invite me. 911 00:45:02,952 --> 00:45:05,080 Well, it's my own fault. 912 00:45:05,121 --> 00:45:06,998 Men are such idiots. 913 00:45:07,082 --> 00:45:08,958 Do we ever want to grow up? 914 00:45:09,042 --> 00:45:10,460 We see a beautiful woman, 915 00:45:10,543 --> 00:45:13,171 before you know it, you're telling one lie 916 00:45:13,254 --> 00:45:15,715 after another. 917 00:45:15,799 --> 00:45:17,717 You end up all alone. 918 00:45:17,801 --> 00:45:19,219 - But what about all the women? 919 00:45:21,054 --> 00:45:23,139 - There was only one woman. 920 00:45:23,223 --> 00:45:25,809 And it only lasted one night. 921 00:45:25,892 --> 00:45:27,811 lrene wouldn't believe me. 922 00:45:27,894 --> 00:45:29,979 l'm not blaming her. 923 00:45:30,063 --> 00:45:31,564 Once you tell one lie... 924 00:45:31,648 --> 00:45:34,275 And the crazy thing is, 925 00:45:34,317 --> 00:45:37,070 the sex wasn't one-tenth as good 926 00:45:37,153 --> 00:45:38,822 as it was with lrene. 927 00:45:38,905 --> 00:45:40,448 God, l miss her. 928 00:45:40,490 --> 00:45:42,826 - Come to the wedding tomorrow. 929 00:45:42,909 --> 00:45:45,245 - lf l'm not welcome... 930 00:45:45,328 --> 00:45:47,247 - l'll go around to Vanessa's and explain everything. 931 00:45:47,330 --> 00:45:50,500 - Well, even if Vanessa will forgive me, lrene won't. 932 00:45:50,583 --> 00:45:54,504 - Get your suit ready and l'll pick you up in the morning 933 00:45:54,587 --> 00:45:56,423 and we can talk to lrene together. 934 00:47:14,376 --> 00:47:15,460 - Father Nick! 935 00:47:17,212 --> 00:47:19,964 Father Nick! 936 00:47:20,048 --> 00:47:22,801 Oh, l'm so glad you're here! 937 00:47:22,884 --> 00:47:24,969 - Hey, hey, you okay? (Vanessa groaning) 938 00:47:25,053 --> 00:47:26,638 - lt was terrible! 939 00:47:26,721 --> 00:47:29,808 My friends took me to this club 940 00:47:29,891 --> 00:47:31,643 with male strippers. 941 00:47:31,726 --> 00:47:34,979 And they paid one of the guys 20 bucks to torture me. 942 00:47:35,063 --> 00:47:36,314 Mm-hmm. 943 00:47:36,398 --> 00:47:38,316 His name was Toro, the Love Stud! 944 00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:40,485 And he stood right in front of me, 945 00:47:40,568 --> 00:47:42,028 and he went like this! 946 00:47:52,747 --> 00:47:54,416 Who could resist that? 947 00:47:54,499 --> 00:47:56,710 - l don't know. (laughing) 948 00:48:01,881 --> 00:48:03,591 - Oh, Nick, 949 00:48:03,675 --> 00:48:06,136 now l can't stop thinking about sex. 950 00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:10,640 l know what l should do. 951 00:48:10,682 --> 00:48:12,642 l should sleep with someone. 952 00:48:12,684 --> 00:48:14,978 - You should? - Yes, yes, for Andre's sake. 953 00:48:16,354 --> 00:48:17,981 l love him. l... 954 00:48:18,857 --> 00:48:20,567 ... wonder if Toro's still there. 955 00:48:20,650 --> 00:48:22,986 - Hey, hey, hey. Vanessa, Vanessa. 956 00:48:23,069 --> 00:48:25,280 Listen to me. Listen. 957 00:48:25,363 --> 00:48:26,948 You're drunk. 958 00:48:27,032 --> 00:48:29,492 lt's not a good time to make decisions. 959 00:48:30,326 --> 00:48:31,828 - You're right. 960 00:48:33,371 --> 00:48:35,665 Toro's not the right kind of guy. 961 00:48:38,376 --> 00:48:40,837 l need to find someone... 962 00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,381 who will never tell anyone... 963 00:48:44,716 --> 00:48:45,675 - Vanessa, 964 00:48:45,759 --> 00:48:47,761 look, l want to - 965 00:48:47,844 --> 00:48:50,805 oh, my God, l want to - but... l can't. 966 00:48:50,847 --> 00:48:52,974 lt... it's just not right. 967 00:48:53,058 --> 00:48:54,517 - lt feels right. 968 00:48:55,727 --> 00:48:57,187 Doesn't it? 969 00:49:07,697 --> 00:49:10,784 (singing): /Rip my clothes off baby 970 00:49:10,867 --> 00:49:13,787 /'Cause l'm ready for love 971 00:49:13,870 --> 00:49:15,205 (Andre laughing) l wrote it. 972 00:49:15,288 --> 00:49:16,956 - That's very good. - l know. 973 00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:19,793 - l always wanted to be in a rock band, you know? 974 00:49:19,876 --> 00:49:21,628 Like The Carpenters/; they were great. 975 00:49:21,711 --> 00:49:23,797 Okay, okay, no, no, okay, do it again. 976 00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:25,423 - Okay, okay. - Do it again, do it again. 977 00:49:25,507 --> 00:49:27,342 S/o rip my-- /Rip my-- 978 00:49:27,384 --> 00:49:29,636 /Clothes off baby /Clothes off baby 979 00:49:29,719 --> 00:49:32,972 /'Cause l'm ready for love /Ready for love 980 00:49:33,056 --> 00:49:34,349 (laughter) 981 00:49:38,561 --> 00:49:40,689 - You gotta get the moves, though. - The moves? 982 00:49:40,730 --> 00:49:42,315 - Yeah, oh, yeah! - Oh, no way! 983 00:49:42,399 --> 00:49:43,983 (singing) 984 00:49:44,067 --> 00:49:47,320 /Rip my clothes off 985 00:49:47,404 --> 00:49:48,488 /Baby 986 00:49:48,571 --> 00:49:51,199 /'Cause l'm ready for love 987 00:49:51,741 --> 00:49:53,034 (laughter) 988 00:49:55,078 --> 00:49:58,039 You ought to try it. - No, no, l can't, l can't. 989 00:49:58,123 --> 00:50:00,667 No, l can't do it. l got too many bones. 990 00:50:00,750 --> 00:50:02,210 (both groaning) 991 00:50:03,420 --> 00:50:04,838 - Steady... Way. - Whoa! 992 00:50:04,921 --> 00:50:06,339 - Ooh! - Okay. 993 00:50:06,423 --> 00:50:09,342 /Rip my clothes off baby 994 00:50:09,426 --> 00:50:11,845 /'Cause l'm ready for love 995 00:50:11,928 --> 00:50:12,887 - Way! (Andre groaning) 996 00:50:12,971 --> 00:50:15,724 Oh! - Okay, l'm okay. You do it? 997 00:50:15,807 --> 00:50:19,269 You do it yourself. Do it again, do it again. 998 00:50:19,352 --> 00:50:20,353 Do it again. 999 00:50:20,437 --> 00:50:23,189 - lt's like... /Rip my... 1000 00:50:23,273 --> 00:50:24,691 /Rip my 1001 00:50:24,774 --> 00:50:26,359 /Clothes off 1002 00:50:26,443 --> 00:50:28,194 (sighing softly) 1003 00:50:28,278 --> 00:50:29,696 /Baby 1004 00:50:29,779 --> 00:50:32,198 /'Cause l'm... 1005 00:50:32,282 --> 00:50:33,742 (Andre snoring) 1006 00:50:35,118 --> 00:50:37,078 Wait. Whoa. W-whoa! Hey! 1007 00:50:49,466 --> 00:50:50,925 (dog barking in distance) 1008 00:51:14,574 --> 00:51:15,867 - Oh, sh... 1009 00:51:21,581 --> 00:51:24,542 l slept with a priest the night before my wedding. 1010 00:51:26,753 --> 00:51:28,880 l'm really sorry about this. 1011 00:51:42,435 --> 00:51:44,521 - Vanessa? - This didn't happened, okay? 1012 00:51:44,604 --> 00:51:48,191 Even if the Pope grills me, l'll deny everything. 1013 00:51:48,274 --> 00:51:50,568 - B-b-but it's great that this happened. 1014 00:51:56,116 --> 00:51:58,034 No, Vanessa, l'm not really a priest! 1015 00:51:58,118 --> 00:52:00,120 l was only pretending! - Don't question your faith 1016 00:52:00,203 --> 00:52:03,206 because of what happened, all right? You were born to be a priest, Father. 1017 00:52:03,289 --> 00:52:05,291 - l-l think you can call me Nick. 1018 00:52:05,375 --> 00:52:08,086 - Just tell yourself it was, like, a... a saintly act. 1019 00:52:08,169 --> 00:52:09,796 You know, you were coming to the aid 1020 00:52:09,879 --> 00:52:11,715 of a needy parishioner! 1021 00:52:11,798 --> 00:52:13,216 - No, l'm a fraud! 1022 00:52:13,299 --> 00:52:16,011 l was never a priest! - You're not a fraud! All right? 1023 00:52:16,094 --> 00:52:18,847 You are a fine priest. Just don't have a spiritual crisis 1024 00:52:18,888 --> 00:52:22,142 because of something that's my fault. - Vanessa! l'm trying to tell you, 1025 00:52:22,225 --> 00:52:24,936 l'm in love with you! - Taxi! 1026 00:52:29,733 --> 00:52:32,402 l am going to marry Andre. l am. 1027 00:52:32,485 --> 00:52:34,821 And you, go back to being holy. 1028 00:52:34,904 --> 00:52:37,532 And we'll never see each other again. 1029 00:52:38,575 --> 00:52:39,743 - Vanessa. 1030 00:52:39,826 --> 00:52:41,870 Vanessa! Hey, hey, hey! 1031 00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:52,422 - Didn't go so well, then? 1032 00:52:53,590 --> 00:52:56,509 - Please, just tell me Andre fell in love with you last night. 1033 00:52:56,593 --> 00:52:58,428 - No. 1034 00:52:58,511 --> 00:53:00,805 Sorry, Nick. Did my best. 1035 00:53:10,065 --> 00:53:12,317 - l have to get to her before she marries Andre! 1036 00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:13,735 - Andre's not a fool. 1037 00:53:13,777 --> 00:53:15,987 lf you come running in an hour before the wedding, 1038 00:53:16,071 --> 00:53:17,322 desperate to see Vanessa, 1039 00:53:17,405 --> 00:53:19,616 don't you think he might get a bit suspicious? 1040 00:53:19,699 --> 00:53:21,993 - You're forgetting, l'm a priest. - lt's easy to forget. 1041 00:53:22,077 --> 00:53:24,037 lt's not like you were a priest last week. 1042 00:53:26,289 --> 00:53:28,583 Good luck! - Oh, no, you have to come too! 1043 00:53:28,667 --> 00:53:30,251 - Why? - You have to distract Andre 1044 00:53:30,293 --> 00:53:32,003 so l can be alone with Vanessa. 1045 00:53:32,087 --> 00:53:34,089 - Oh, the pizza-delivery girl crashes the wedding. 1046 00:53:34,130 --> 00:53:36,675 - Just say you're my date. 1047 00:53:36,758 --> 00:53:38,385 - You're a priest! 1048 00:53:38,468 --> 00:53:41,388 - Right. l forgot. 1049 00:53:41,471 --> 00:53:43,098 - l told you it was easy to forget. 1050 00:53:43,139 --> 00:53:46,101 - We'll think of something on the way. But take your own bike - 1051 00:53:46,142 --> 00:53:49,437 l've got to pick up Vanessa's dad! - Oh, so you're a priest 1052 00:53:49,479 --> 00:53:51,022 and a taxi service? - Come on!!! 1053 00:53:51,106 --> 00:53:54,109 - Argh, God! He might not even remember me! 1054 00:53:58,446 --> 00:54:00,657 - l didn't realize your brother was a priest. 1055 00:54:00,740 --> 00:54:03,743 - Yeah, we're all very proud of him. (frantic pounding on door) 1056 00:54:05,912 --> 00:54:07,372 - l need to speak to Vanessa! 1057 00:54:09,416 --> 00:54:10,834 Oh, SHlT! 1058 00:54:12,377 --> 00:54:13,503 - Oof! 1059 00:54:14,045 --> 00:54:16,881 - lt's a very progressive wing of the Church. 1060 00:54:32,647 --> 00:54:34,649 - Hi. St. Andrew's Cathedral? 1061 00:54:34,733 --> 00:54:36,192 Hi, hello. 1062 00:54:36,234 --> 00:54:39,487 l'm calling on behalf of Father Edward from St. Matthews. 1063 00:54:39,571 --> 00:54:43,033 Um, we're trying to find a priest whose name is Father Nick? 1064 00:54:43,074 --> 00:54:44,659 - Excuse me. - Would you-- Oh! 1065 00:54:44,743 --> 00:54:46,202 Ah, he's here. 1066 00:54:46,244 --> 00:54:47,245 Yeah. Thanks anyway. 1067 00:54:47,328 --> 00:54:49,414 What? Who am l talking about? 1068 00:54:49,497 --> 00:54:51,666 - Hello, hello? Yes. Yes, this is Father Nick. 1069 00:54:51,750 --> 00:54:54,502 The service next Sunday, 9:00? l'll be there. 1070 00:54:54,586 --> 00:54:56,379 Just enjoy your golf. Yes, bye. 1071 00:54:56,463 --> 00:54:59,883 - Oh, Father... Father Nick, we're so glad you're here. 1072 00:54:59,924 --> 00:55:02,052 l've been looking everywhere for you. 1073 00:55:02,135 --> 00:55:03,678 l wonder if you could... 1074 00:55:04,804 --> 00:55:06,264 - l have to go and find Vanessa, 1075 00:55:06,348 --> 00:55:08,266 wish her the best of luck before the ceremony. 1076 00:55:08,350 --> 00:55:10,393 - Oh, but, Father Nick, we're just-- Oh! 1077 00:55:13,229 --> 00:55:14,606 (shouting a warning) - Whoa, whoa! 1078 00:55:14,689 --> 00:55:16,316 - Ahhh! (loud crash) 1079 00:55:16,399 --> 00:55:18,443 - How could you bring that man here?! 1080 00:55:20,737 --> 00:55:22,781 Do you know what that man did to me? 1081 00:55:22,864 --> 00:55:24,991 - l think there's some confusion on the subject. 1082 00:55:25,075 --> 00:55:29,162 - Oh, you mean he denied cheating on me and you believed him! 1083 00:55:29,245 --> 00:55:31,539 Do you men always stick together?! 1084 00:55:31,623 --> 00:55:35,210 lf there's one thing l taught my daughter, 1085 00:55:35,251 --> 00:55:37,170 it is never trust a man who lies. Never! 1086 00:55:37,253 --> 00:55:39,381 - Mm, yeah, l suppose lying is quite hard to forgive. 1087 00:55:39,464 --> 00:55:42,342 - Oh, you bet it is. lf a man lies once, 1088 00:55:42,425 --> 00:55:44,427 how can you ever believe him again? 1089 00:55:44,511 --> 00:55:47,305 - But you know, there must be lies, and then there are lies. 1090 00:55:47,389 --> 00:55:49,766 There's ''l slept with somebody else, so l lied'' lies, 1091 00:55:49,849 --> 00:55:52,644 and then there's ''l want to sleep with you, so l lied'' lies. 1092 00:55:52,727 --> 00:55:54,604 - Lying is lying. 1093 00:55:54,688 --> 00:55:56,981 - l-l don't know much about the Bible - 1094 00:55:57,065 --> 00:55:59,317 of course, l know about the Bible. The point is, 1095 00:55:59,401 --> 00:56:02,195 it has a word or two about forgiveness. 1096 00:56:02,278 --> 00:56:03,655 Tom made one mistake. 1097 00:56:03,738 --> 00:56:05,448 - One?! 1098 00:56:05,532 --> 00:56:06,783 Ah! 1099 00:56:06,866 --> 00:56:09,577 lt was probably going on for years! 1100 00:56:09,619 --> 00:56:11,996 - No, he's got no reason to lie to me. 1101 00:56:15,709 --> 00:56:17,836 - Well, maybe he lied to you 1102 00:56:17,919 --> 00:56:20,422 so that you would lie to me. 1103 00:56:20,463 --> 00:56:22,465 That's the way liars think, isn't it? 1104 00:56:22,549 --> 00:56:24,634 You wouldn't know, you're a priest! 1105 00:56:26,386 --> 00:56:29,472 - No, l... No, l do, l do. l... 1106 00:56:29,556 --> 00:56:30,974 l do. l understand. You know, 1107 00:56:31,016 --> 00:56:33,393 l can see where you're coming from. l do. 1108 00:56:37,397 --> 00:56:38,940 - You know the hardest part? 1109 00:56:41,234 --> 00:56:42,694 When it happened... 1110 00:56:44,070 --> 00:56:46,364 ... l was still dizzy in love with him. 1111 00:56:47,907 --> 00:56:50,493 And l was... 1112 00:56:50,577 --> 00:56:54,706 stupid enough to think he still felt the same way about me. 1113 00:56:56,249 --> 00:56:59,044 - Look... let me go and find Tom. 1114 00:57:00,420 --> 00:57:02,130 He'll explain everything. 1115 00:57:03,006 --> 00:57:04,507 Explain the truth. 1116 00:57:13,975 --> 00:57:15,143 Tom! 1117 00:57:29,032 --> 00:57:32,494 - l can't believe you missed your hairdresser's appointment 1118 00:57:32,577 --> 00:57:34,662 this morning. What were you doing? 1119 00:57:34,704 --> 00:57:37,499 - l just forgot, OKAY? - Okay. Okay, just relax. 1120 00:57:38,375 --> 00:57:40,710 Now how... how's that? 1121 00:57:44,881 --> 00:57:47,634 Okay, well, l know l'm not a professional hairdresser, 1122 00:57:47,717 --> 00:57:50,470 but it's not /that bad. - Get out of here! 1123 00:57:50,553 --> 00:57:52,138 - You can't just run away from me! 1124 00:57:52,222 --> 00:57:54,182 - Father Nick? - You didn't tell Andre, did you? 1125 00:57:54,224 --> 00:57:56,518 - Tell Andre what? - Of course l didn't tell Andre! 1126 00:57:56,601 --> 00:57:58,687 - lf he sees you here, he'll get suspicious. 1127 00:57:58,728 --> 00:58:00,480 - Suspicious of what? 1128 00:58:00,563 --> 00:58:03,149 - Look, l just want to talk. - Talk about what? 1129 00:58:03,233 --> 00:58:05,151 - l will never talk to you! 1130 00:58:05,235 --> 00:58:07,028 - l can explain. - Go away! Now! 1131 00:58:07,070 --> 00:58:08,238 - Please! 1132 00:58:08,321 --> 00:58:11,241 - Okay, now l am dying to hear what he has to say. 1133 00:58:12,534 --> 00:58:14,202 - l love you. 1134 00:58:16,996 --> 00:58:18,498 - Don't say that to me! 1135 00:58:18,581 --> 00:58:20,375 - Well, last night wasn't just about-- 1136 00:58:20,417 --> 00:58:22,252 - l don't remember last night! So there! 1137 00:58:22,335 --> 00:58:24,254 - Of course you remember last night! 1138 00:58:24,337 --> 00:58:27,173 You can't forget last night! 1139 00:58:27,257 --> 00:58:29,884 - This is the best wedding l've ever been to, 1140 00:58:29,926 --> 00:58:32,178 and it hasn't even started yet. 1141 00:58:36,057 --> 00:58:39,019 - l am not speaking to you again until l am safely married! 1142 00:58:41,855 --> 00:58:43,606 - You have to take over the service. 1143 00:58:45,442 --> 00:58:47,318 Father Nick, l keep sneezing and coughing! 1144 00:58:47,402 --> 00:58:50,989 - Your cold's not that bad! - l'm going to ruin the ceremony! 1145 00:58:51,072 --> 00:58:53,992 - Wh-wh-what's-- - He's refusing to do it! 1146 00:58:54,075 --> 00:58:57,579 - Father, surely if you can substitute for somebody who's playing golf-- 1147 00:58:57,662 --> 00:58:59,706 - Andre, have you met my sister? Sandy!! 1148 00:58:59,789 --> 00:59:02,709 Oh, she's wonderful, she's very funny, calm, quiet, 1149 00:59:02,792 --> 00:59:04,210 - Have we met somewhere before? 1150 00:59:04,294 --> 00:59:06,588 - She does have other clothes. Really, she does. 1151 00:59:06,671 --> 00:59:09,632 Have l mentioned she's in the church choir? - Really? 1152 00:59:09,674 --> 00:59:11,259 - Actually, um, no. 1153 00:59:11,343 --> 00:59:13,595 l'm in a band/; we're called, uh... 1154 00:59:13,678 --> 00:59:15,764 She-Devils ln Heat. 1155 00:59:15,847 --> 00:59:17,307 (Nick laughing too loudly) 1156 00:59:18,683 --> 00:59:21,269 - She's such a kidder. Have l mentioned her sense of humour? 1157 00:59:21,353 --> 00:59:23,438 - Father Nick, please, l have a temperature of 103. 1158 00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:26,983 - Listen, why don't you two kids go off and get to know each other?! 1159 00:59:27,067 --> 00:59:28,902 That's great - before the wedding! Thank you! 1160 00:59:28,985 --> 00:59:30,320 - l beseech you, Father Nick. l... 1161 00:59:30,403 --> 00:59:32,447 - Listen you know, l have a very good reason 1162 00:59:32,530 --> 00:59:34,616 for refusing what you're asking me to do. 1163 00:59:34,657 --> 00:59:36,618 l mean, really l do. lt's very... 1164 00:59:42,207 --> 00:59:43,500 l'll do it. 1165 00:59:46,711 --> 00:59:47,921 - Father Edward. 1166 00:59:48,004 --> 00:59:50,715 l think we're ready to begin. 1167 00:59:52,258 --> 00:59:53,718 Are you okay? 1168 00:59:54,719 --> 00:59:58,473 - Father Nick will be doing the ceremony, 1169 00:59:58,515 --> 01:00:00,642 because l... Come on. 1170 01:00:00,725 --> 01:00:02,102 You're so kind.. 1171 01:00:03,561 --> 01:00:05,021 - Oh, l love this. 1172 01:00:05,063 --> 01:00:07,482 Wait a second. Who's going to give you away? 1173 01:00:08,900 --> 01:00:10,235 l've got it. 1174 01:00:10,318 --> 01:00:11,945 Toro. - Stop it. 1175 01:00:12,028 --> 01:00:13,655 - lt's okay. 1176 01:00:13,738 --> 01:00:15,657 Your dad'll give you away. 1177 01:00:18,868 --> 01:00:19,911 (''Wedding March'' playing) 1178 01:00:53,069 --> 01:00:54,863 - l-l'm a little nervous. 1179 01:00:54,904 --> 01:00:57,032 This is... this is my first wedding. 1180 01:00:57,115 --> 01:00:58,867 Just like it's Vanessa's first wedding. 1181 01:00:58,950 --> 01:01:01,661 But hopefully it won't be the last for either of us. 1182 01:01:01,745 --> 01:01:03,997 (Andre laughing) (guests laughing uncomfortably) 1183 01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:05,331 Okay. 1184 01:01:05,415 --> 01:01:08,835 We are gathered here today, under the eyes of the big fellow, 1185 01:01:08,918 --> 01:01:11,254 to witness the union 1186 01:01:11,338 --> 01:01:12,881 of Andre and Vanessa. And... 1187 01:01:13,423 --> 01:01:18,261 ln lo of the last few days, l have cometh to know this fine couple. 1188 01:01:18,303 --> 01:01:20,889 And l feel l know Vanessa particularly well, 1189 01:01:20,930 --> 01:01:24,392 and therefore would like to dispense with the traditional ceremony, 1190 01:01:24,476 --> 01:01:26,561 and, instead, begat a few words 1191 01:01:26,603 --> 01:01:28,521 from my own heart. 1192 01:01:28,605 --> 01:01:31,232 Or maybe a little lower down. 1193 01:01:31,274 --> 01:01:33,651 'Cause l feel that a topic that abides 1194 01:01:33,735 --> 01:01:36,071 in all of our minds at a time like this... 1195 01:01:36,112 --> 01:01:38,698 is lust. And verily, let us say unto one another, 1196 01:01:38,782 --> 01:01:41,534 what is Lust? Why was it begat? 1197 01:01:41,618 --> 01:01:42,869 For lo, 1198 01:01:42,952 --> 01:01:47,540 lust is a curse that women suffer too, hmm? 1199 01:01:47,624 --> 01:01:49,876 Despite what my mother told me. 1200 01:01:49,959 --> 01:01:53,004 Although ''suffer'' may be too harsh a word. 1201 01:01:53,088 --> 01:01:56,341 ls it possible that lust has had a bad rap? 1202 01:01:56,424 --> 01:02:00,345 Because verily, l say unto you there are two kinds of lust. 1203 01:02:00,428 --> 01:02:02,597 There's that ''flash in the pants'' lust/; 1204 01:02:02,681 --> 01:02:04,641 you know, ''sleep with the secretary'' lust, 1205 01:02:04,724 --> 01:02:06,893 Toro lust. And that's wrong! 1206 01:02:06,976 --> 01:02:09,604 But human. l mean, if we weren't supposed to feel it, 1207 01:02:09,688 --> 01:02:11,690 why did the big fellow give us hormones! Right? 1208 01:02:11,773 --> 01:02:13,775 Yes, l see a few nods in the back there. 1209 01:02:13,817 --> 01:02:16,236 Show of hands! Who's sorry they slept with a tramp? 1210 01:02:16,319 --> 01:02:19,948 Come on, show your hand! Don't be afraid! 1211 01:02:20,031 --> 01:02:21,241 Okay. Oh, fine, 1212 01:02:21,324 --> 01:02:23,076 play it coy. Play it coy. 1213 01:02:23,159 --> 01:02:27,539 But l can tell you knoweth what l'm talking about. 1214 01:02:27,622 --> 01:02:30,500 But, no, today l want to talk about the other kind of lust. 1215 01:02:30,583 --> 01:02:32,210 The Old Testament lust! 1216 01:02:32,293 --> 01:02:35,213 Because verily, l say unto you, have we really felt 1217 01:02:35,296 --> 01:02:37,966 the full power and glory of lust?! Yes! 1218 01:02:38,008 --> 01:02:40,552 Yes!! l believe l'm having a revelation! 1219 01:02:40,635 --> 01:02:42,178 Perhaps it comes to pass 1220 01:02:42,262 --> 01:02:44,472 that lust is a way of telling ourselves 1221 01:02:44,514 --> 01:02:47,225 of a... of an everlasting truth. 1222 01:02:47,308 --> 01:02:50,020 Because what if... we feel an almighty lust 1223 01:02:50,103 --> 01:02:52,856 for someone we think we doth not love? 1224 01:02:52,939 --> 01:02:55,817 Not Toro lust, 1225 01:02:55,859 --> 01:02:59,195 but the kind of lust you're still going to feel 1226 01:02:59,279 --> 01:03:00,822 after 30 years of marriage. 1227 01:03:00,864 --> 01:03:03,658 Maybe your body is telling your mind 1228 01:03:03,742 --> 01:03:06,578 something it does not want to hear. 1229 01:03:06,661 --> 01:03:08,705 And if we refuse to listen... 1230 01:03:10,373 --> 01:03:15,378 lf we refuse to open our hearts and minds to this eternal truth, 1231 01:03:15,462 --> 01:03:18,173 we could find ourselves damned, 1232 01:03:18,214 --> 01:03:20,008 forevermore, 1233 01:03:20,050 --> 01:03:22,344 to that everlasting hell... 1234 01:03:22,385 --> 01:03:23,970 of being lonely. 1235 01:03:27,474 --> 01:03:30,060 l think l've made my point. 1236 01:03:30,143 --> 01:03:32,312 - Marry us!! 1237 01:03:33,396 --> 01:03:35,190 - What? You sure? 1238 01:03:35,231 --> 01:03:36,608 - Yes. 1239 01:03:38,735 --> 01:03:42,030 - Andre Reid, do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife 1240 01:03:42,072 --> 01:03:43,865 and whatever, etcetera, amen? 1241 01:03:45,575 --> 01:03:46,785 - l-l-l do-- 1242 01:03:46,868 --> 01:03:48,870 - And, Vanessa Sinclair, do you take this man 1243 01:03:48,912 --> 01:03:51,956 to be your lawfully wedded husband in sickness and health, etcetera, amen?! 1244 01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:53,541 - l do. 1245 01:03:56,544 --> 01:03:59,422 - Well, l now pronounce you husband and wife. 1246 01:04:03,343 --> 01:04:05,011 (Andre laughing nervously) 1247 01:04:06,554 --> 01:04:07,806 - The rings. 1248 01:04:07,889 --> 01:04:09,099 - The ring! The ring. 1249 01:04:09,182 --> 01:04:11,685 The ring, the rings! Do the ring thing. 1250 01:04:11,768 --> 01:04:13,603 Come on, Andre, the ring thing. 1251 01:04:13,687 --> 01:04:15,313 (sighing impatiently) Yes, well, 1252 01:04:15,397 --> 01:04:17,857 l now pronounce you husband and wife - again! 1253 01:04:28,284 --> 01:04:29,869 (applause and cheering) 1254 01:05:00,108 --> 01:05:01,776 - Where are you going? 1255 01:05:01,860 --> 01:05:04,446 - l tried my best. lt's over. She's married now. 1256 01:05:04,529 --> 01:05:06,114 - No, she's not! 1257 01:05:06,197 --> 01:05:07,782 You're not a real priest. 1258 01:05:07,866 --> 01:05:09,659 - Oh, l forgot about that! 1259 01:05:11,161 --> 01:05:12,662 Come on!! 1260 01:05:18,543 --> 01:05:21,629 Okay, you distract Andre, l'm gonna go get Vanessa. 1261 01:05:21,713 --> 01:05:22,797 - Thanks. 1262 01:05:22,839 --> 01:05:24,632 - Andre, congratulations. - Oh. 1263 01:05:24,716 --> 01:05:26,509 Ah... Father Nick! 1264 01:05:26,593 --> 01:05:28,636 - Sandy. Nick's sister. 1265 01:05:28,678 --> 01:05:30,347 - Vanessa. Nice to meet you. 1266 01:05:31,056 --> 01:05:34,100 - Well, l-l-l can't say l agree with everything in your sermon. 1267 01:05:34,184 --> 01:05:35,935 (laughing nervously) 1268 01:05:36,019 --> 01:05:38,980 B-but l appreciate you filling in at the last moment. 1269 01:05:39,022 --> 01:05:41,149 - My pleasure. lt's always a pleasure, never a chore. 1270 01:05:41,191 --> 01:05:44,194 l know you haven't got much time and we have to leave soon, 1271 01:05:44,235 --> 01:05:46,321 so, well, Sandy here, she's got a few questions... 1272 01:05:46,404 --> 01:05:48,990 Well, l'll let her explain. Vanessa, can we have a word? 1273 01:05:49,032 --> 01:05:52,535 - Yes. l would like to speak to you, uh, alone. 1274 01:05:54,079 --> 01:05:55,622 Pardon me. - Mm, love you. 1275 01:05:57,749 --> 01:05:59,209 (laughing nervously) 1276 01:06:01,211 --> 01:06:03,296 S-so, uh, what was it you wanted to say? 1277 01:06:03,380 --> 01:06:04,506 - Yeah, uh... 1278 01:06:04,547 --> 01:06:07,008 do you wanna come and see my band? 1279 01:06:13,390 --> 01:06:16,768 - So, listen, the good news is, the annulment will be much easier 1280 01:06:16,851 --> 01:06:18,812 than you think. - That collar or not, 1281 01:06:18,895 --> 01:06:22,315 you are still the most despicable human being l have ever met! 1282 01:06:22,399 --> 01:06:24,901 What happened to the sanctity of the confessional?! Mm? 1283 01:06:24,984 --> 01:06:26,945 You practically announced to everyone out there 1284 01:06:27,028 --> 01:06:29,322 that l've been lusting after another man! 1285 01:06:29,406 --> 01:06:33,535 - l-l think most people appreciated the universal nature of my sermon. 1286 01:06:33,576 --> 01:06:35,995 - You could've ruined my life! - Saved! 1287 01:06:36,079 --> 01:06:37,497 Listen to me-- - l'm not listening 1288 01:06:37,580 --> 01:06:39,374 to another word you say! - Come on, you promised 1289 01:06:39,457 --> 01:06:41,334 you would talk to me after you got married. 1290 01:06:41,418 --> 01:06:42,836 - l changed my mind! 1291 01:06:42,919 --> 01:06:45,880 Now if you'll excuse me, l am going on my honeymoon! 1292 01:06:47,340 --> 01:06:48,717 (Nick stuttering) 1293 01:06:54,097 --> 01:06:55,765 l hate you! - Vanessa-- 1294 01:07:19,873 --> 01:07:21,291 - Ooh, Father Nick. 1295 01:07:21,374 --> 01:07:22,959 - Andre. 1296 01:07:23,043 --> 01:07:26,254 l-l-l was just looking for some tablets. 1297 01:07:26,296 --> 01:07:28,465 l have an absolutely awful headache. 1298 01:07:29,382 --> 01:07:30,800 - ln the bathroom. 1299 01:07:30,884 --> 01:07:31,968 - Would you mind? 1300 01:07:32,052 --> 01:07:34,304 l feel a little bit dizzy. 1301 01:07:42,729 --> 01:07:45,106 - There you go. - Oh, thank you. 1302 01:07:46,232 --> 01:07:47,817 Could l have a glass of water? 1303 01:07:47,901 --> 01:07:49,527 - Of course. 1304 01:07:51,738 --> 01:07:53,448 l know your views are a little different 1305 01:07:53,490 --> 01:07:56,242 from the mainstream Church, but l'm sure you can understand 1306 01:07:56,326 --> 01:07:58,578 how glad Vanessa and l are that we decided to wait 1307 01:07:58,661 --> 01:08:00,538 until our wedding night. 1308 01:08:03,500 --> 01:08:05,085 l-l've taken a lot of ribbing 1309 01:08:05,168 --> 01:08:06,670 from my buddies. But... 1310 01:08:06,753 --> 01:08:08,421 l used to be pretty wild. 1311 01:08:08,505 --> 01:08:10,757 And l think it got kind of... cheapened. 1312 01:08:10,840 --> 01:08:13,426 You know what l mean? l said to myself, the next time, 1313 01:08:13,510 --> 01:08:15,637 l wanted to be sure it was forever. 1314 01:08:15,679 --> 01:08:18,723 l am going to have one hell of a honeymoon. 1315 01:08:18,807 --> 01:08:20,183 Thank you. 1316 01:08:28,525 --> 01:08:30,819 Been a long day. l hope you're not too tired. 1317 01:08:30,860 --> 01:08:32,487 - No, no, l'm not tired at all. 1318 01:08:32,529 --> 01:08:34,823 - Andre! Vanessa? 1319 01:08:34,864 --> 01:08:37,784 This is where you're having your honeymoon?! 1320 01:08:37,867 --> 01:08:38,952 What a coincidence! 1321 01:08:39,035 --> 01:08:43,206 l-l-l booked a room here about a month ago. 1322 01:08:43,289 --> 01:08:45,166 You know, a little sabbatical - 1323 01:08:45,208 --> 01:08:46,710 meditation, yoga, water-skiing-- 1324 01:08:46,793 --> 01:08:48,003 - Father, if you don't mind, 1325 01:08:48,086 --> 01:08:50,213 we'd just like to check into our room now. 1326 01:09:08,023 --> 01:09:10,817 - Oh, there you go. Thank you. Thank you very much. 1327 01:09:12,360 --> 01:09:14,279 Oh... this is nice, 1328 01:09:14,362 --> 01:09:15,947 isn't it? 1329 01:09:16,031 --> 01:09:19,034 l'm so glad l decided to keep you company. 1330 01:09:19,075 --> 01:09:22,162 l think l'm gonna stay here all night long. 1331 01:09:22,245 --> 01:09:25,040 - Ahem. Uh... F-Father Nick, 1332 01:09:25,081 --> 01:09:28,543 we're getting a little... tired. 1333 01:09:28,585 --> 01:09:31,129 - Oh, of course you are. What a day. 1334 01:09:31,212 --> 01:09:34,090 Your wedding, then the reception, then the drive here. 1335 01:09:34,132 --> 01:09:35,717 l bet both of you 1336 01:09:35,759 --> 01:09:37,135 didn't sleep much last night. 1337 01:09:37,218 --> 01:09:39,554 Vanessa, l'm sure you tossed and turned for hours. 1338 01:09:39,596 --> 01:09:42,724 - Andre's trying to tell you that we'd like to be alone. 1339 01:09:42,766 --> 01:09:44,976 - Alone! Oh, me too! 1340 01:09:45,060 --> 01:09:47,145 That's why l came up here. 1341 01:09:47,228 --> 01:09:49,397 To spend some nice, quiet time alone. 1342 01:09:49,439 --> 01:09:51,191 - We'd like to be alone now. 1343 01:09:51,274 --> 01:09:53,151 - Vanessa, we don't want to be rude. 1344 01:09:53,234 --> 01:09:54,402 - Go away! 1345 01:09:54,444 --> 01:09:55,987 - You mean you want to be alone together? 1346 01:09:56,071 --> 01:09:57,364 - Yes! - Of course you do! 1347 01:09:57,447 --> 01:10:00,325 lt's your wedding night! But you know, as a priest, 1348 01:10:00,408 --> 01:10:02,535 l would like to give you some advice. 1349 01:10:02,619 --> 01:10:06,164 l find that couples who postpone the consummation of their marriage 1350 01:10:06,247 --> 01:10:08,208 have a much better track record. 1351 01:10:08,291 --> 01:10:11,503 That first night, a little bit tired and irritable, 1352 01:10:11,586 --> 01:10:14,464 well, things never really live up to expectations. 1353 01:10:14,506 --> 01:10:16,716 But if you wait a day, 1354 01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:19,052 a week, a month, a year, 1355 01:10:19,135 --> 01:10:20,178 poof, fireworks! 1356 01:10:20,261 --> 01:10:23,640 How about a game of Parcheesi?! - No! 1357 01:10:23,723 --> 01:10:25,183 - How about chess? 1358 01:10:25,266 --> 01:10:26,518 Blackjack? Crazy Eights?! 1359 01:10:43,451 --> 01:10:45,203 Spiritual crisis. 1360 01:11:12,731 --> 01:11:14,315 Hi. Hi, hi, hi. 1361 01:11:14,399 --> 01:11:16,234 Father Nick, hotel priest. 1362 01:11:16,317 --> 01:11:19,821 Just checking for evil spirits. Everything seems to be fine. 1363 01:11:19,904 --> 01:11:21,698 So sleep well. 1364 01:11:54,272 --> 01:11:55,940 - At last. 1365 01:12:00,945 --> 01:12:02,447 Aren't you getting into bed? 1366 01:12:04,574 --> 01:12:06,826 - There's something l should tell you first. 1367 01:12:06,910 --> 01:12:08,328 - Vanessa... 1368 01:12:08,411 --> 01:12:10,580 if it's about your past, l don't care. 1369 01:12:10,663 --> 01:12:12,874 Whatever either of us did before this night is irrelevant. 1370 01:12:12,916 --> 01:12:14,668 - But l really think that l should tell-- 1371 01:12:14,751 --> 01:12:17,253 - There's nothing that would make me change my mind. 1372 01:12:17,337 --> 01:12:19,547 - But there's one particular-- - No. 1373 01:12:22,092 --> 01:12:24,803 All l want is to finally make love to my wife. 1374 01:12:35,271 --> 01:12:38,441 Father, this isn't a good time. How'd you get in here? 1375 01:12:38,525 --> 01:12:41,403 - l'm possessed by the devil. That's why l wouldn't leave earlier! 1376 01:12:41,444 --> 01:12:43,363 l'm terrified of being alone. 1377 01:12:43,446 --> 01:12:44,447 Vanessa, 1378 01:12:44,531 --> 01:12:46,908 you look great. - Andre, please come back to bed! 1379 01:12:49,452 --> 01:12:52,288 - Please, Andre, you don't know what kind of nightmare this is. 1380 01:12:52,330 --> 01:12:54,958 - Father, l don't think you're possessed by the devil. 1381 01:12:55,041 --> 01:12:57,794 - Then why did l give that sermon at your wedding? ln defence of lust! 1382 01:12:57,877 --> 01:12:59,921 What priest in his right mind would do that?! 1383 01:13:00,005 --> 01:13:01,423 - Well, you're a little eccentric. 1384 01:13:01,464 --> 01:13:05,135 - Look - this is what l did to myself yesterday! 1385 01:13:06,386 --> 01:13:09,347 - Well, maybe you're going through a time of doubt, but the Devil? 1386 01:13:09,431 --> 01:13:11,808 (speaking gibberish in guttural voice) 1387 01:13:11,891 --> 01:13:13,309 What did l just say?! 1388 01:13:13,393 --> 01:13:15,478 - l-l-l don't speak Spanish. 1389 01:13:15,562 --> 01:13:17,105 - lt was Devil talk, 1390 01:13:17,147 --> 01:13:19,149 for you are my slave! 1391 01:13:20,608 --> 01:13:24,154 Please help me fight this monster! 1392 01:13:31,077 --> 01:13:32,537 (TV playing) 1393 01:13:39,127 --> 01:13:41,171 - Hello, can l help you? 1394 01:13:41,254 --> 01:13:42,881 Sure, one second. 1395 01:13:46,968 --> 01:13:48,845 - lt's kind of fun, isn't it? 1396 01:13:48,928 --> 01:13:51,348 - You seem to be doing all right, Father. 1397 01:13:52,599 --> 01:13:54,726 - They all speak Japanese? 1398 01:13:55,769 --> 01:13:57,354 Uh... 1399 01:13:57,437 --> 01:13:58,855 Yeah, hi. 1400 01:13:58,938 --> 01:14:01,775 Uh, l speak a little bit Japanese. 1401 01:14:01,858 --> 01:14:03,902 - l th... l think l'll get back to Vanessa. 1402 01:14:03,985 --> 01:14:05,362 - But what if Satan returns? 1403 01:14:07,030 --> 01:14:09,991 - Well, maybe it wasn't the Devil, maybe it was just... 1404 01:14:10,033 --> 01:14:11,618 the shrimp in your salad. 1405 01:14:13,203 --> 01:14:15,246 (in Satan's voice): - l am the evil one, 1406 01:14:15,330 --> 01:14:17,832 Lucifer! Satan! 1407 01:14:17,874 --> 01:14:21,294 Destroyer of souls! 1408 01:14:21,378 --> 01:14:23,505 Prince of Darkness! 1409 01:14:23,546 --> 01:14:25,548 Bbbbeelzebub! 1410 01:14:25,632 --> 01:14:27,676 Belllllzebub! 1411 01:14:27,717 --> 01:14:29,844 Blllllezebbbulb! 1412 01:14:29,886 --> 01:14:31,763 - Mr. Beelzebub? 1413 01:14:41,731 --> 01:14:43,149 - What just happened? 1414 01:14:44,567 --> 01:14:47,320 - Maybe it's, uh, a little more than indigestion. 1415 01:14:50,740 --> 01:14:52,325 l-l'll stay a little longer. 1416 01:14:56,913 --> 01:14:58,331 - You're a nice man. 1417 01:14:58,415 --> 01:15:00,834 - Not really. 1418 01:15:00,917 --> 01:15:03,336 - You're giving up your wedding night 1419 01:15:03,420 --> 01:15:05,296 to be with a complete stranger. 1420 01:15:05,380 --> 01:15:08,008 - Well, anything to ward off the Prince of Darkness, huh? 1421 01:15:09,384 --> 01:15:11,177 - l must look like a fool sometimes. 1422 01:15:11,261 --> 01:15:14,431 - l think that's a pretty normal occurrence 1423 01:15:14,514 --> 01:15:16,516 in cases of demonic possession. 1424 01:15:19,394 --> 01:15:21,062 - Have you ever really been in love? 1425 01:15:21,104 --> 01:15:23,815 So in love you would do anything? 1426 01:15:23,898 --> 01:15:25,817 You find yourself doing things 1427 01:15:25,900 --> 01:15:29,279 you can't believe, but if it gives you a chance, 1428 01:15:29,362 --> 01:15:31,823 the tiniest chance, then it's worth it, 1429 01:15:31,906 --> 01:15:35,326 even if the whole world thinks you're a complete fool. 1430 01:15:39,914 --> 01:15:41,708 - lt's your move. 1431 01:15:58,099 --> 01:16:00,852 l spent so long thinking about my honeymoon. 1432 01:16:00,935 --> 01:16:02,896 Never thought l'd be spending it 1433 01:16:02,979 --> 01:16:04,981 with a priest possessed by the Devil. 1434 01:16:11,196 --> 01:16:13,448 You know, Vanessa must be wondering where l am. 1435 01:16:13,490 --> 01:16:16,534 This might be a good time for me to check on her. 1436 01:16:16,618 --> 01:16:18,286 - Get out of me! 1437 01:16:18,328 --> 01:16:20,455 Ah! Get out of me! 1438 01:16:20,538 --> 01:16:22,248 (yelling) 1439 01:16:23,041 --> 01:16:25,251 (in Satan's voice): l will never leave you! 1440 01:16:27,128 --> 01:16:29,506 - You need some help there? 1441 01:16:32,801 --> 01:16:34,302 - l'll kill you! 1442 01:17:16,219 --> 01:17:19,264 - Would you like to see a menu? - No, it's fine. l'm... 1443 01:17:19,347 --> 01:17:22,017 just... just looking for someone. 1444 01:17:47,417 --> 01:17:48,793 /Why are you doing this? 1445 01:17:48,877 --> 01:17:50,045 - Because l love you. 1446 01:17:50,128 --> 01:17:52,297 - l don't care. - Yes, you do. 1447 01:17:52,380 --> 01:17:54,591 You love me, too. - Oh, yeah. 1448 01:17:54,674 --> 01:17:57,844 l always told my girlfriends, one day l'll meet the perfect guy. 1449 01:17:57,927 --> 01:17:59,346 One who wants to be Pope. 1450 01:17:59,429 --> 01:18:01,222 Listen to me! 1451 01:18:01,264 --> 01:18:02,766 l am married to Andre! 1452 01:18:02,849 --> 01:18:05,685 - You said he doesn't light your fire. - l never said that! 1453 01:18:05,769 --> 01:18:07,854 - Yes, you did. The night before last when-- 1454 01:18:07,937 --> 01:18:10,523 - Don't talk about that! - lt was the best night of my life. 1455 01:18:10,607 --> 01:18:12,192 - l don't even remember it. 1456 01:18:12,275 --> 01:18:14,944 - Yes, you do. You remember every second of it. 1457 01:18:15,028 --> 01:18:16,529 And you always will. 1458 01:18:18,198 --> 01:18:20,867 - l don't remember anything that happened after the stripper 1459 01:18:20,950 --> 01:18:22,535 shoved his underwear down my dress! 1460 01:18:23,870 --> 01:18:25,330 l'm gonna go find my husband. 1461 01:18:25,413 --> 01:18:29,459 - Look, Andre's a great guy, but you don't love him. 1462 01:18:29,542 --> 01:18:31,795 You love /me. 1463 01:18:31,878 --> 01:18:33,421 - l'll be back later. 1464 01:18:35,799 --> 01:18:38,677 - No, /l will come back later! 1465 01:18:38,760 --> 01:18:40,428 With my lawfully wedded husband! 1466 01:18:40,470 --> 01:18:43,932 - Actually, there's something l should tell you about that. 1467 01:18:47,727 --> 01:18:50,397 - Oh, Vanessa, l'm so sorry. - Father, Father, excuse me! 1468 01:18:50,480 --> 01:18:52,273 l wonder if you could do us a favour. 1469 01:18:52,315 --> 01:18:54,734 This couple want to get married right away. 1470 01:18:54,818 --> 01:18:58,113 They have the license, the bans have been read, 1471 01:18:58,154 --> 01:19:01,408 But they had a fight, she came here to be alone. He followed her, 1472 01:19:01,491 --> 01:19:02,659 they've sorted out the misunderstanding, 1473 01:19:02,742 --> 01:19:05,203 now they just want to get married and go on their honeymoon. 1474 01:19:05,286 --> 01:19:06,579 - Sorry, no, l can't. 1475 01:19:06,663 --> 01:19:08,540 - No, please, Father. lt would mean so much to us. 1476 01:19:08,623 --> 01:19:10,375 - l'm sure there are other priests. 1477 01:19:10,458 --> 01:19:12,127 - Actually, no one's available until tomorrow. 1478 01:19:12,210 --> 01:19:14,421 - We really don't want to wait until tomorrow. 1479 01:19:14,504 --> 01:19:16,589 - lt would be a mistake for me to marry you. 1480 01:19:16,673 --> 01:19:19,759 - Our wedding would be a mistake? Why do you say that? 1481 01:19:22,178 --> 01:19:24,389 - l just can't! 1482 01:19:24,472 --> 01:19:25,849 - What does he know, Rob? - What? 1483 01:19:25,890 --> 01:19:28,268 - Did you cheat on me with Cynthia? ls that it? 1484 01:19:28,351 --> 01:19:29,811 Does everyone in the whole world know? 1485 01:19:29,853 --> 01:19:31,771 - l didn't mean-- - l never slept with Cynthia! 1486 01:19:31,855 --> 01:19:34,941 - A priest is refusing to marry us! He must sense something is wrong! 1487 01:19:35,025 --> 01:19:38,028 And l thought we were gonna be so happy together. 1488 01:19:38,111 --> 01:19:39,612 Goodbye, forever! 1489 01:19:39,696 --> 01:19:42,407 - Wait. l don't sense anything. l don't even know who Cynthia is. 1490 01:19:42,490 --> 01:19:44,743 - Then why won't you marry us? 1491 01:19:44,826 --> 01:19:46,119 - Because l... (elevator dinging) 1492 01:19:49,372 --> 01:19:51,249 Because l'm not a real priest. 1493 01:19:55,545 --> 01:19:56,755 Vanessa... 1494 01:20:04,220 --> 01:20:06,348 - Let's go home, Andre. 1495 01:20:06,389 --> 01:20:09,017 Father Edward should be feeling better by now. 1496 01:20:13,730 --> 01:20:15,815 - Yeah, so he likes to dress like a priest. 1497 01:20:15,899 --> 01:20:17,776 Could be worse, could be women's underwear. 1498 01:20:22,072 --> 01:20:24,032 Hey, Nick. 1499 01:20:24,074 --> 01:20:25,867 What's new? 1500 01:20:25,909 --> 01:20:27,035 - Well? 1501 01:20:27,077 --> 01:20:29,621 - Well, l went on their honeymoon, 1502 01:20:29,704 --> 01:20:31,831 got possessed by a devil, then when l wouldn't marry 1503 01:20:31,915 --> 01:20:35,085 this other couple - don't want to make a habit of it... 1504 01:20:35,168 --> 01:20:38,380 - Oh, no. Certainly not. - And everybody found out the truth. 1505 01:20:38,421 --> 01:20:40,882 So Andre and Vanessa are having another wedding. 1506 01:20:40,924 --> 01:20:42,676 - You're not being paid by the caterers? 1507 01:20:42,759 --> 01:20:44,469 - And then they're gonna have another honeymoon, 1508 01:20:44,552 --> 01:20:46,554 but this time without me. 1509 01:20:48,264 --> 01:20:50,392 - Nick, um... 1510 01:20:50,433 --> 01:20:53,520 Mom's been getting kind of worried about you. 1511 01:20:55,522 --> 01:20:58,441 And, uh... Well, actually, we all have. 1512 01:20:58,525 --> 01:21:00,276 - l just miss Vanessa, you know? 1513 01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:02,570 - l know. - What does she have against me? 1514 01:21:02,612 --> 01:21:05,198 At first she doesn't like me 1515 01:21:05,281 --> 01:21:06,449 because l am a priest. 1516 01:21:06,533 --> 01:21:08,660 Now she doesn't like me because l'm not one. 1517 01:21:08,743 --> 01:21:11,496 - Mm, yeah, l think there might be just a little bit more to it. 1518 01:21:11,579 --> 01:21:13,748 - She's married, but she's not really married. 1519 01:21:13,790 --> 01:21:15,250 lt's easy to fix things. 1520 01:21:17,252 --> 01:21:18,795 Although she probably is married now. 1521 01:21:26,428 --> 01:21:27,971 - Take that look off your face. 1522 01:21:28,054 --> 01:21:29,764 - Where's she gonna go to, Father Edwards? 1523 01:21:29,806 --> 01:21:32,684 l've gotta get everything ready. Come on, we've got time! 1524 01:21:32,767 --> 01:21:35,770 Sandy, come on! Come on! - La, la, la! No! 1525 01:21:35,812 --> 01:21:38,231 No! Oh, it's over! (grousing) 1526 01:21:54,456 --> 01:21:55,582 Nick. 1527 01:21:56,291 --> 01:21:57,417 Nick! 1528 01:21:58,126 --> 01:22:00,712 This is the way that she wants it! 1529 01:22:00,795 --> 01:22:02,672 - l'll bet it's at Father Edward's. 1530 01:22:10,722 --> 01:22:13,475 Now will you please give up. 1531 01:22:13,558 --> 01:22:16,019 - l have an idea. - l was afraid of that. 1532 01:22:27,197 --> 01:22:28,990 - Mr. Sinclair! 1533 01:22:29,032 --> 01:22:30,158 l'm not too late! 1534 01:22:30,200 --> 01:22:31,868 - Nick. 1535 01:22:31,951 --> 01:22:34,371 - Where's the wedding? 1536 01:22:34,412 --> 01:22:36,873 - l'm sorry, they ordered me not to tell you. 1537 01:22:39,876 --> 01:22:41,544 - Please, l love her. You, of all people, 1538 01:22:41,628 --> 01:22:44,172 must understand what it's like to lose the woman you love. 1539 01:22:46,091 --> 01:22:48,134 - Nick, l'm sorry, l can't. 1540 01:22:57,894 --> 01:23:00,730 - St. Andrew's! They said it's the last place you'd look! 1541 01:23:02,732 --> 01:23:04,192 - My church. 1542 01:23:17,414 --> 01:23:21,042 - He pretended to be a priest just to trick you into bed?! 1543 01:23:22,419 --> 01:23:25,338 That's like the most disgusting thing l've ever heard! 1544 01:23:25,422 --> 01:23:27,549 - That's not what l said. - What a monster! 1545 01:23:28,758 --> 01:23:30,635 Just pretend you never even met that guy, okay? 1546 01:23:30,719 --> 01:23:31,761 Put it out of mind. 1547 01:23:31,845 --> 01:23:33,638 - Yeah... 1548 01:23:33,722 --> 01:23:36,599 - l said l would like to thank you so much 1549 01:23:36,641 --> 01:23:38,685 for the use of your lovely church. 1550 01:23:38,768 --> 01:23:40,687 Especially on such short notice. 1551 01:23:40,770 --> 01:23:42,731 - Well, it's so hard to believe 1552 01:23:42,772 --> 01:23:45,358 that Nick Francis would pretend to be a priest. 1553 01:23:45,442 --> 01:23:48,862 - Mm. Well, l think that's the last we'll see of him 1554 01:23:48,945 --> 01:23:49,946 until the everlasting damnation. 1555 01:23:57,454 --> 01:23:58,913 - ls anyone else coming? 1556 01:23:58,955 --> 01:24:01,249 - No. Wh-who else would be coming? 1557 01:24:01,291 --> 01:24:03,626 Nobody else knows where the wedding is. 1558 01:24:03,710 --> 01:24:05,670 - Well, let's make sure, huh? 1559 01:24:08,048 --> 01:24:09,507 - Look at you. 1560 01:24:46,920 --> 01:24:50,006 - Nick! Are you sure you want to wreck two of her weddings? 1561 01:24:50,090 --> 01:24:53,009 - As many as it takes. - Have you thought about the fact-- 1562 01:24:54,427 --> 01:24:56,596 --that she obviously wants to marry this guy, not you?! 1563 01:24:56,680 --> 01:25:00,392 - lt's not a good time to talk,Sandy! They might be getting to the ''l-dos!'' 1564 01:25:00,475 --> 01:25:03,061 - But how are you gonna stop her from doing what she wants?! 1565 01:25:03,144 --> 01:25:06,398 - l'm not gonna burst in there like an idiot! l've got a plan. 1566 01:25:06,481 --> 01:25:09,067 - What is it? - l'm gonna burst in there like an idiot! 1567 01:25:09,150 --> 01:25:11,111 - l can't watch this! lt's too humiliating! 1568 01:25:11,695 --> 01:25:12,862 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy. 1569 01:25:12,946 --> 01:25:13,863 Easy, easy. Fine. 1570 01:25:13,905 --> 01:25:16,074 Fine, l'm going. lt's over. 1571 01:25:16,157 --> 01:25:20,203 lt's not like l'm willing to die for her! You know? 1572 01:25:25,500 --> 01:25:27,002 - ... these two together 1573 01:25:27,043 --> 01:25:29,004 and seal their commitment in-- 1574 01:25:31,214 --> 01:25:32,507 ... celebrate the bond... 1575 01:25:32,590 --> 01:25:35,343 which the two of you make 1576 01:25:35,385 --> 01:25:37,679 as you enter into this-- 1577 01:25:40,223 --> 01:25:41,975 - l have a confession to make! 1578 01:25:54,571 --> 01:25:56,948 - l want to tell you about /my fantasy. 1579 01:25:58,074 --> 01:25:59,617 l keep imagining myself 1580 01:25:59,701 --> 01:26:01,953 with a certain woman. 1581 01:26:02,037 --> 01:26:04,289 These fantasies are about a four-letter word 1582 01:26:04,372 --> 01:26:05,874 beginning with L. 1583 01:26:07,917 --> 01:26:10,378 The word is love. 1584 01:26:14,341 --> 01:26:16,551 - l think you better go now, Nick. 1585 01:26:16,593 --> 01:26:17,886 - Vanessa? 1586 01:26:17,927 --> 01:26:21,014 - You pretended to be a priest, 1587 01:26:21,097 --> 01:26:24,142 you actually performed a wedding ceremony, 1588 01:26:24,225 --> 01:26:27,312 you followed us on our honeymoon. 1589 01:26:27,395 --> 01:26:30,565 And even now, when l know the truth, 1590 01:26:30,607 --> 01:26:32,609 you break into a church 1591 01:26:32,650 --> 01:26:34,235 and crash our wedding? 1592 01:26:34,277 --> 01:26:36,780 - And l tried to get my sister to sleep with your fiance. 1593 01:26:36,863 --> 01:26:39,282 - What? - And l pretended 1594 01:26:39,324 --> 01:26:40,867 to be possessed by the Devil. 1595 01:26:40,950 --> 01:26:43,286 And l'd do it again in a minute. 1596 01:26:43,370 --> 01:26:44,913 - Vanessa doesn't want a man who lies 1597 01:26:44,954 --> 01:26:46,498 and pretends to be possessed by the devil! 1598 01:26:46,581 --> 01:26:48,291 - Don't you? 1599 01:26:51,628 --> 01:26:53,254 - No. 1600 01:27:00,762 --> 01:27:01,971 - Well... 1601 01:27:03,348 --> 01:27:05,100 ... there's one thing l won't do, 1602 01:27:05,183 --> 01:27:07,644 and that's stand here and watch you marry another man. 1603 01:27:58,737 --> 01:27:59,904 - Nick's sister, 1604 01:27:59,988 --> 01:28:01,114 right? 1605 01:28:01,197 --> 01:28:02,699 - Yeah. 1606 01:28:06,036 --> 01:28:07,996 - You seem to be a passionate family. 1607 01:28:08,038 --> 01:28:10,165 - Well, we do our best. 1608 01:28:16,713 --> 01:28:18,840 - l've never been on one of those. 1609 01:28:24,012 --> 01:28:25,180 - Well... 1610 01:28:25,221 --> 01:28:26,389 hop on. 1611 01:28:28,391 --> 01:28:29,851 - All right. 1612 01:28:58,922 --> 01:29:02,467 - So since l married you once, l don't have to do it again, right? 111193