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1
00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:07,007
- Kenneth, I'm gonna duck uptown
2
00:00:07,299 --> 00:00:08,485
and have lunch
with my boyfriend.
3
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:09,801
- Yes, ma'am.
4
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:12,374
Is that code for some kind of
older gal medical procedure?
5
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,598
- No, Kenneth. I
really have a boyfriend.
6
00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,170
Look. He's handsome
and a doctor.
7
00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:16,850
- A doctor?
8
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,936
Well don't get too attached.
9
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,997
As soon as people
realize his tonics don't work,
10
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,189
it's on to the next town.
11
00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,192
- Hey, Ken, you know
what I have a craving for?
12
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,611
- Jerk chicken from
that place in mill basin?
13
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:28,529
- And some?
14
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,572
- Catalog photos of
expectant mothers
15
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:31,864
in their swimming suits?
16
00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:34,243
- You are my
radar O'Reilly, Ken.
17
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,775
Now get in here and rub my feet
18
00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,664
till you hear a chopper coming.
19
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,416
- Lemon, how's Tracy?
20
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,710
What's his mood?
- Oh, upbeat and confused.
21
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,522
- Perfect. You know
his contract is up.
22
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,047
- Has it been that long?
23
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,650
Boy, we sure have
done some crazy things
24
00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,034
with Tracy in the
last three years.
25
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,302
- Huh, we sure have.
26
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:55,138
- I'm thinking about
some of them now.
27
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,558
- Me too.
28
00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,102
Anyway, I'm handling
the Tracy thing myself.
29
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:01,955
- Right. Play hardball.
Get your business jollies.
30
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,146
Well, sadly enough this time
31
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:06,024
with Tracy it's not
about money anymore.
32
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:06,942
His video game made a fortune
33
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,735
and he invested all of it
34
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,463
in a company that
dismantles bank signs.
35
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:11,572
They're doing very well.
36
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:13,383
- You don't think he's
gonna leave, do you?
37
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,408
- Oh, don't worry.
38
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,344
When you're above money,
personal relationships
39
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,703
become your currency.
40
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,871
Tracy and I have
become quite close.
41
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,624
Look. We got BFF bracelets.
42
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,310
- You guys are
best friends forever?
43
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,295
- That's not what
that stands for.
44
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,047
- [Whispers unintelligibly]
45
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,508
- Why would you celebrate that?
46
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,760
- So wait, tell me where
you went to school again?
47
00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:35,053
- Well, uh, I...
48
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:36,406
- Hey, you really
look nice today.
49
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:38,682
- Thank you.
- Do you know her?
50
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:41,226
- No, I don't think so.
51
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:42,185
- Oh, wait! No, no!
52
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,477
No, uh, that's my car.
53
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:44,645
- Meter's expired.
54
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:47,441
- I forgot to get quarters.
55
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,776
- You know what? I got quarters.
56
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:51,236
- Thanks, officer.
57
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,155
- You're welcome.
58
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,198
- Boy, people sure
are nice to you.
59
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,658
- Yeah, I guess.
60
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,202
- Excuse me. I'm Calvin klein,
61
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:02,331
and I think you should be
my next underwear model.
62
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:05,042
- Well, thanks.
63
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,419
- You don't want to get
a card, phone number?
64
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:08,712
- He'll figure it out.
65
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:11,715
[Exciting jazz music]
66
00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:20,007
♪ ♪
67
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,071
- Hey.
68
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:35,643
- You went to plunder for lunch?
69
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:36,822
How did you get a table?
70
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,158
- I don't know. It was packed.
71
00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:39,951
But they just gave Drew a table.
72
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,679
It is ridiculous how
people treat him.
73
00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,414
The chef sent over
food. Ladies sent drinks.
74
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,583
Mayer Bloomberg
asked him to dance.
75
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,044
- Well, beautiful people
are treated differently
76
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,672
from moderately...
Pleasant-looking people.
77
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:54,466
- It's true.
- They live in a bubble.
78
00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,427
A bubble of free drinks,
kindness, and outdoor sex.
79
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,280
- How did Drew turn
out as well as he did
80
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,464
going through life like that?
81
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:01,908
- The bubble isn't
always a bad thing.
82
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,492
Look at me. I turned
out okay, didn't I?
83
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,268
- Jack, I want you
to pay close attention
84
00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,230
to the following
over-the-top eye roll.
85
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:09,690
Oh, brother.
86
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,901
- Lemon, I don't
share this often.
87
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,363
But this is a photo of me
when I was 25 years old.
88
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,281
- What the... what?
89
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,242
You have a Superman chest!
90
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,244
- I know.
- Oh, my god.
91
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,621
The lady will have two
tickets to the gun show.
92
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,623
And your eyes are so much bluer.
93
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:27,624
What happened to your eyes?
94
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,251
- My point is, Lemon,
95
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,561
the bubble doesn't last forever.
96
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,546
So get in there with Drew
and enjoy those perks
97
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:33,838
while you can.
98
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,002
- Can I keep that?
- Uh, no.
99
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:38,301
It's my only copy.
100
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,056
- Everyone gather around please.
101
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,349
Actor announcement.
102
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,308
As you probably know,
103
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,310
especially if you read page six
104
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,979
of my publicist's emails,
105
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:52,107
I have decided to cut my
hair and donate it to charity.
106
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,735
- But, miss Maroney, why
would you cut your beautiful hair?
107
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:58,321
You look just how I
picture Mary magdalene.
108
00:03:58,613 --> 00:03:59,757
- Well, because, Kenneth,
I am a selfless person
109
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,241
who can't get
arrested in this town.
110
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:04,411
Meanwhile, Tracy
Jordan's face is everywhere.
111
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:05,245
- Jenna, I already
explained that.
112
00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:06,204
That was a police
sketch of a flasher
113
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,166
who happened to look
like Tracy... we hope.
114
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,727
- Whatever. He's
hogging the buzz.
115
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:11,793
- You've got buzz.
116
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,088
You were in that
magazine that time.
117
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,517
- I don't even know
what you're referring to.
118
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,927
And that was two years ago.
119
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,099
As usual, I have to create
my own opportunities.
120
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,599
No one will be talking about
Tracy Jordan this Friday
121
00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:29,561
when I cut my hair
off on the today show.
122
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:35,150
- You're what I think
Judas looks like.
123
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,320
- Tracy, I hope you know
how much we value you here
124
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:39,070
at TGS.
125
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,157
I like to think of
this staff as a family.
126
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:43,468
- This is better than a family.
127
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:46,369
No one around here asks
me for my damn bone marrow.
128
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:48,541
- Well, why don't we
make this easy on ourselves
129
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:55,378
and renew your existing
contract with a 3% increase?
130
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,380
- Okay.
131
00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:58,900
Sorry it took me
so long to answer.
132
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:00,401
I was just thinking
about how weird it is
133
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,593
that we eat birds.
134
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,386
- All right, we have a deal.
135
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,222
You see how easy negotiating
136
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,074
can be when it's not
really about money.
137
00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,226
- How's this really
not about money?
138
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:11,394
- Well obviously you
don't need to work.
139
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,355
What's that now, Charles?
140
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,565
- I'm just saying you
made $300 million
141
00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,400
last year so there's
no financial need
142
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,292
for you to continue
with the show, but...
143
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,905
- I never thought
of it like that.
144
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:23,406
Thank you.
145
00:05:23,698 --> 00:05:25,700
I quit. Good-bye.
146
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,286
- Uh, Tracy.
147
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,498
Had he really not
put that together?
148
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,417
- Tracy's is a tactile
kinesthetic learning style.
149
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:38,129
- Dotcom, so help me god...
150
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,528
- It's nice of those guys
to give up their court for us.
151
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:48,014
- Yes, for us.
152
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:51,852
- So I should probably
warn you I was pro in college.
153
00:05:52,143 --> 00:05:53,395
- What?
154
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,872
- Yeah, I started
teaching kids at the y
155
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,165
and then all their
mothers wanted
156
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,482
to take private lessons from me.
157
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,294
But I promise I'll
take it easy on you.
158
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,526
- [Laughs]
159
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,572
[Theme from a
summer place playing]
160
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:11,864
♪ ♪
161
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,330
- Oop...
162
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,547
- It's been a long time
since college, huh?
163
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,215
- What do you mean?
164
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:25,427
- Excuse me. Do
you give lessons?
165
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,347
- [Scoffs]
166
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,394
- Now what is this?
167
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:37,647
- Dr. Drew's salmon bourguignon.
168
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,691
- What is this orangey taste?
169
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,402
- Gatorade.
170
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,041
That was awesome.
171
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,251
- [Laughs nervously]
172
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,341
[Gagging]
173
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,342
- Are you choking?
Are... are you choking?
174
00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:06,634
I'm a doctor. Stay calm.
175
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:07,904
Stay calm. I just need to...
176
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,721
I just need to shake it loose.
177
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,389
Wait, don't panic.
178
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,223
I just need to find something
to push it down with.
179
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:13,058
Do you have a chopstick
180
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,478
or a fireplace
match or something?
181
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:23,109
There you go.
- [Gasps]
182
00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,278
- Jack, there you are.
183
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:25,987
I need to talk to you
about something.
184
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,479
- The Tracy deal is a process.
185
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,241
Lemon, we are in process.
186
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,202
- No. Something
happened with Drew.
187
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,203
- Oh, no. He's not a BFF.
188
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,704
- Ugh, no. Never.
189
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,247
It's the bubble.
190
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,659
He is a doctor who doesn't
know the Heimlich maneuver.
191
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,543
He can't play
tennis. He can't cook.
192
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,462
He's as bad at sex as I am.
193
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,547
But he has no idea.
194
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,967
That is the danger of
being super handsome.
195
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,986
When you're in the bubble,
nobody ever tells you the truth.
196
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,179
For years I thought I
spoke excellent French.
197
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:54,015
[Speaks gibberish
in French accent]
198
00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,393
- Drew deserves
to be told the truth.
199
00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,603
He's a good person
who is a victim
200
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:02,148
of our nation's obscene
cult of superficiality.
201
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,192
- Okay, Lemon, did you tell him
202
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,586
that he was no good in tennis?
203
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:05,986
- No, I let him win because
204
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,672
I wanted to make out
with him in the cab.
205
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:09,197
[Sighs]
206
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,533
It's not fair to let
Drew live a lie.
207
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,265
And I think I'm the
woman to fix him.
208
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,493
- Be careful, Lemon.
209
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,414
You wake a sleepwalker,
you risk getting urinated on.
210
00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,083
- Or thanked... on.
211
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,210
Hey, Kenneth...
212
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,255
- Mr. Jordan quit.
- What?
213
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:27,465
I thought you were in process.
214
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,477
- Tracy's taking a
strong position right now
215
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:30,010
in the negotiation.
216
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,178
It's not unheard of
for him to stay home
217
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,264
while I formulate
my counter-proposal.
218
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:37,100
- What if it doesn't work?
What if he doesn't come back?
219
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,577
[Thick southern accent] Oh, no!
220
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,437
When I get upset
my accent come out!
221
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,230
And when it gets to comin' out
222
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,274
I can't get to talkin' nuh-uh...
223
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,693
- Jack, I have a show on Friday.
224
00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,611
- It will be rectified.
225
00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:49,446
- I didn't mean to
upset you, miss Lemon.
226
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,948
Mr. Donaghy told
us not to tell you
227
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,300
but I couldn't
hold it in anymore.
228
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,324
- Wait a minute.
229
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:55,845
Are you hiding your
screw-up from me?
230
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,496
- Don't cling to this, Lemon.
231
00:08:58,788 --> 00:08:59,932
- [Imitates Donaghy]
Be a Manager.
232
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,625
Control your people.
Buy better clothes.
233
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,603
- I'm allowing this
because I made a misstep.
234
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:05,627
I'm handling it.
235
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,464
And Tracy will be
here by Friday night.
236
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,090
- Just get it done.
237
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:12,343
Nope, I lost it.
That was Batman.
238
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,474
- Thank you team
Jenna for being here.
239
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:19,642
Obviously my today
show charity haircut
240
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,534
is just the first step
in my reinvention.
241
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,313
- This is serial
killer language.
242
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,207
- My mother's boyfriend
raised me to believe
243
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,275
that a woman's hair
is her crowning glory.
244
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,919
A haircut can make
or break a career.
245
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:29,611
Before the Rachel,
246
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,297
Jennifer Aniston was
just a chunky nobody
247
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:32,655
who couldn't get a job.
248
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,240
- Wasn't she already on friends?
249
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:35,926
- Richard Esposito,
move to the back.
250
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,952
But if I make the wrong choice,
251
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,388
I could end up
like keri Russell,
252
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,413
Felicity, season two.
253
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:41,998
Okay let's brainstorm.
254
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,459
Everyone shout out words
that describe my beauty.
255
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,044
- Fading.
- '80s.
256
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,336
- 1880s.
257
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:50,465
- Hey, you needed me?
258
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,509
- Lemon, you know
Rick from accounting.
259
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:53,801
- I don't. Hi.
260
00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:55,678
- Hi, nice to meet you.
261
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,681
- I have arranged for one
of Tracy's childhood idols
262
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:01,226
to reach out to him.
263
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,394
[Phone rings]
264
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,021
- Hello?
- Tracy, this is Jack.
265
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,482
I have someone here who
wants to speak with you.
266
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,734
- [Imitates bill Cosby]
Tracy, this is bill Cosby.
267
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:11,456
- [Whispers] Really?
This is your strategy?
268
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:12,362
- I heard him
do this at a party.
269
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,197
- I want you to come back
270
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,074
to the TGS for the people
271
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,686
who like the jokes
and the things.
272
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,452
- Bill Cosby, you
got a lot of nerve
273
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:20,370
getting on the phone with me
274
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,622
after what you did
to my aunt Paulette!
275
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:25,250
- I think you're confusing
me with someone else.
276
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,293
- 1971, Cincinnati.
277
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:30,338
She was the cocktail
waitress with the droopy eye.
278
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,382
- I'm the guy
with the pudding...
279
00:10:32,674 --> 00:10:34,259
- Try to tell me what to do?
280
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,303
Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable
with your light-ass kids.
281
00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,431
Jack, why would you
make me talk to this man?
282
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,058
- Uh, Tracy, don't hang up.
283
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,430
[Deep voice] Yeah, Tracy,
this is Billy Dee Williams.
284
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,830
I just want to say
I love your work.
285
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,856
It's very smooth.
286
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,700
- Hey. Sorry I'm late.
287
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,410
Why are you waiting here?
288
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:01,702
- Well, I put our name in
289
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:02,972
but it's gonna be
a 45-minute wait.
290
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,206
- What? I'll go
talk to the hostess.
291
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,041
- No. I want to
show you something.
292
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,044
We're going to
wait for the table.
293
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:13,131
- Okay.
294
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,425
I hate this.
295
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,386
- Yeah. This is
gonna be unpleasant.
296
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,055
- As Tracy's family
and inner circle,
297
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,557
I wanted to enlist your help.
298
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:25,101
While I'm sure all of you
treasure him being home more...
299
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,145
- I'm sorry. You want our help
300
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:28,479
with your problem?
301
00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:30,691
Donaghy, you need to
get our father back to work.
302
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,108
- That's what I'm trying to do.
303
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,111
- You want to see what he
packed me for lunch today?
304
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,071
Mayonnaise...
305
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:38,656
And a pack of cigarettes.
306
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:39,948
- That is unfortunate.
307
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,576
- He set up a home
recording studio
308
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:42,868
in our rec room.
309
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,455
- ♪ My girl has a fat neck ♪
310
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,415
I'm sharp. Let's do it again.
311
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,376
- Thanks to you, I now
have an unemployed father.
312
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,308
You trying to make a
stereotype out of me?
313
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,088
Did you even vote for Obama?
314
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,566
- We've heard from Tracy junior.
315
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:56,590
Where is your mother?
316
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,198
- She said she had
to take a spa week
317
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,224
at canyon ranch before
my dad broke it in half.
318
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,790
What's that even
supposed to mean?
319
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,568
I shouldn't have to
hear that. I'm a child!
320
00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:05,350
- Tracy junior, George foreman,
321
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,122
I want to get your
father back to work
322
00:12:07,352 --> 00:12:08,436
just as much as you do.
323
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,568
But what do I offer the
man who has everything?
324
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:12,232
I don't know what to do.
325
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,163
- I didn't come here
to hear more excuses.
326
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,111
I came here to see the dumbest
cracker in all of New York.
327
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,030
You gotta fix this,
Donaghy. Fix this!
328
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:21,491
- You know I don't
see it on the menu
329
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,035
but I would love
a catfish po'boy
330
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,995
and a diet raspberry Fanta.
331
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:26,996
- Oh, that is a great idea.
332
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,666
Let me order that
for you. Excuse me.
333
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,543
We will have a
Turkey burger deluxe
334
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:36,172
and a catfish po'boy with
a diet raspberry Fanta.
335
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,904
- I'm gonna come
back in five minutes
336
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:39,425
you try to order
off the menu again
337
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:42,178
I will smack those
glasses off your face.
338
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:46,557
- Okay, thank you.
- Your welcome.
339
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,017
- What was that?
340
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,662
Why didn't she call
you "sweetheart?"
341
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:50,955
And where's the
complimentary app sampler?
342
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,021
What's going on?
343
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,066
- Okay, Drew, this is
how most people live.
344
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:58,111
See because of
your whole, you know,
345
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,446
Disney prince thing...
346
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,058
- Actually they
used footage of me
347
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,300
from my high school swim
team to draw prince Eric.
348
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,324
- Right.
349
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:07,203
Because of that
you live in a bubble
350
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,247
where people do what you want
351
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,599
and tell you what
you want to hear.
352
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,041
- Oh, I don't think that's true.
353
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,936
- Drew, I'm going to tell
you this for your own good.
354
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,004
You can't put
Gatorade on salmon.
355
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,714
- Yes, you can.
356
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,275
The hot Italian lady from
the food network told me so.
357
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,092
- Did she say it on TV?
358
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,279
- No, she said it to me
when she jumped escalators
359
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:28,016
to try to talk to... oh.
360
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,708
Well, I don't want
to live that way.
361
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:30,869
I don't want you to
treat me that way.
362
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,186
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
363
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,188
Liz, I'm an adult.
364
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,942
You can be honest
with me. I can take it.
365
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,281
- That's game. Your serve.
366
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:47,994
- That's it! I quit!
367
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,955
This racquet is a fart
and you... you cheat!
368
00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,624
You're a cheating bitch!
369
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,421
- [Sighs]
370
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:01,966
- Kenneth, I need your help.
371
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,385
You know Tracy quite
well, wouldn't you say?
372
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:05,928
- Oh, I know Mr. Jordan
373
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,972
like the back of my
stepfather Ron's hand.
374
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,974
I know all his atm pin codes.
375
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,185
I know when he's cranky
and needs his binky.
376
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:15,271
I know that by binky he
means 1970s pornography.
377
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,940
- So how is he
functioning without you?
378
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,984
- Oh, I'm still doing
everything for him.
379
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,986
Tonight I have to ride my bike
380
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,505
over to his house in New Jersey
381
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:24,590
to hold his hand during lost.
382
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,240
- That's it, Kenneth.
Don't you see?
383
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:29,285
You're our ace in the hole.
- How dare you!
384
00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:31,120
- You're what I've
been looking for.
385
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:34,165
The one thing at TGS that
Tracy cannot live without.
386
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:37,710
Now Kenneth, I need you
to cut Tracy off completely.
387
00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:40,004
- Oh, I don't know
if I could do that.
388
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:41,398
- You want him to
come back, don't you?
389
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,007
This is the only way.
390
00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,299
[Phone rings]
391
00:14:44,509 --> 00:14:45,903
Don't answer that.
It could be Tracy.
392
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,762
- But I have to
answer the phones.
393
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,138
That's my job.
394
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:53,226
[Phone rings]
395
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:56,521
- [English accent]
Hello. Studio 6h.
396
00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:59,107
This is... Cranston.
397
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,317
- Oh, hey Cranston, I
was looking for Kenneth.
398
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,403
- He's not here.
399
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:08,241
But I'm sure wherever he
is, he loves you very much.
400
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:18,209
- Liz, you seem
really stressed out.
401
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,561
Do you want to talk
about what's going on?
402
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,212
- I just hope it's
not a mistake.
403
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,505
- Well, maybe it is.
404
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:23,941
But you have to
listen to your heart.
405
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,551
- Yeah, but why meddle with
something that was great?
406
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,636
- Oh, Liz. It'll grow back.
407
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:29,928
- What?
408
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:33,683
- We're talking
about my hair, right?
409
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,350
- ♪ Fat neck girl ♪
410
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,521
♪ let me count your neck rings ♪
411
00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:41,691
I'm thirsty!
412
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:46,237
Family! Who's in
charge of my thirst?
413
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:55,037
Cranston, why hasn't
Kenneth called me back yet?
414
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,040
I miss him.
415
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:02,086
Cranston, why are you crying?
416
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,423
- This is too hard, Mr. Donaghy.
417
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,217
I cannot stand by while
Mr. Jordan dies of dehydration
418
00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,094
in his recording studio.
419
00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:13,931
Plus, I've started to
dream as Cranston.
420
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,058
Kenneth, the more
desperate Tracy becomes
421
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,510
the more our plan is working.
422
00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,287
The next thing he'll
do is show up here.
423
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,189
He'll demand you go
with him. You say no.
424
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,357
Stay strong and he'll cave.
425
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:24,649
Trust me.
426
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,110
- I hope your
right, Mr. Donaghy.
427
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,988
Because you're playing
with people's lives here.
428
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:33,618
- Don't you think I know that?
429
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,412
- We are back with sketch
comedian Jenna Maroney.
430
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,331
- Thank you, Meredith.
431
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,703
But please, I'm not a hero.
432
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,226
I'm just trying to
raise awareness
433
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,730
that I'm more than
just that hot chick
434
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:43,920
on Tracy Jordan's show.
435
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,421
So this is for locks of love?
436
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:46,940
- No, locks of love
turned me down.
437
00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,150
They said my hair
was too processed
438
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:48,841
for a sick person to wear.
439
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,551
But this is for a
wonderful charity
440
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,512
called merkins of hope.
441
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,138
- Okay.
442
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,430
Let's make the big cut.
443
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,556
- [Squeals]
444
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:59,101
- So what about that crazy
news that Tracy Jordan
445
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,978
has quit TGS?
- What?
446
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,523
- Oh, yeah, word is he
quit over a contract dispute.
447
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,574
Guess you're the only
star left on that show.
448
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,252
- No, no... stop!
Stop cutting my hair!
449
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,486
I don't need this anymore!
450
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:09,778
Oh!
451
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,947
- It's okay.
452
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,449
It's okay. I can fix this.
453
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:18,037
- Jack, is Tracy still not here?
454
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:20,164
We have three hours
before the show.
455
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,309
- Security told me that
he's in the building, Pete,
456
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,043
so it's working.
457
00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:27,713
Now it's all up to
Kenneth Ellen Parcell.
458
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,006
- Hey, Ken.
459
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:29,966
I've been calling you.
460
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,343
Has Cranston not been
giving you my messages?
461
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,929
- No. He told me.
462
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,348
- Yeah, well... don't worry.
463
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,141
Just came to get
a few of my things.
464
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,561
Then I won't bother you.
465
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,568
All right, I guess
that's everything.
466
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,987
But I want you to know
467
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,339
if I walk out that door, Ken,
468
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:53,948
I'm not gonna call again.
469
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,326
It's over. You understand?
470
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,123
- I can't do this.
471
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:06,043
I'm sorry,
Mr. Donaghy, but I can't.
472
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,713
Mr. Donaghy wanted
me to stop talking to you
473
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,005
so you'd come back.
474
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,300
- So you used Cranston
as his gatekeeper.
475
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:14,510
- I'm very
disappointed, Kenneth.
476
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:15,802
- I know. I blew it.
477
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:19,432
I guess I'm only farm
strong and not heart strong.
478
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:20,724
Fine. Go and help him.
479
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,119
I shouldn't have
tried to manipulate
480
00:18:22,143 --> 00:18:23,394
the two of you that way.
481
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:24,746
But I will need you to turn in
482
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,063
your page jacket.
483
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,357
- What?
484
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:30,529
- Well, your main duty
was taking care of Tracy.
485
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,445
Tracy no longer works here.
486
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,989
Therefore your services
are no longer required.
487
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,074
- As a page?
488
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:39,327
[Thick accent] Oh, no!
489
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,762
- Wait a minute. You
want to fire my boy Ken?
490
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,264
- Stay out of this, Tracy.
It's not your concern.
491
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,373
- Unless.
- Unless what?
492
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:47,209
- You said Kenneth can't work
here because I don't work here.
493
00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,046
But if I work here,
so can Kenneth.
494
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,547
- I don't understand.
495
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,215
- Of course you
don't, you idiot.
496
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,134
I'm coming back to work, Jack.
497
00:18:55,426 --> 00:18:57,178
With Kenneth!
498
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,614
- Damn you and your meddling.
499
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,139
- I'll be in my dressing room.
500
00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,892
- That a boy, tray. Come on.
501
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:09,065
- I've got to get
back into that bubble.
502
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,115
- Sir, you are
pulling that look off.
503
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:19,927
- I wanted to apologize
for my behavior
504
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,345
the other day on
the tennis court.
505
00:19:21,369 --> 00:19:22,828
That is not who I am.
506
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,348
But you made me
feel like a loser.
507
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,372
- 'Cause you lost.
508
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,084
Okay, maybe I shouldn't
have done that to you.
509
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,252
But you have so much potential.
510
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,046
- But I'm happy this way.
511
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,090
I didn't like it
outside the bubble.
512
00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,175
Liz, it was very ironic.
513
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:37,467
- No, it wasn't.
514
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:38,302
That's not how
you use that word...
515
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:39,220
- Stop it.
516
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,555
I want to use ironic
however I want.
517
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:44,266
I want to stay in
the bubble, Liz.
518
00:19:44,558 --> 00:19:46,185
And I want you in there with me.
519
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:49,230
Come on.
520
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,522
Come away with me.
521
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:53,067
We can go upstate
on my new motorcycle.
522
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:57,446
- Oh, boy, Drew.
523
00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,408
I don't think this
is going to work.
524
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:03,536
- Okay.
525
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,580
I guess I'll see
you around then.
526
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,290
Or as the French say,
527
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,167
[speaks gibberish
in French accent]
528
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:13,963
- Yeah. I'll see you around.
529
00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,716
[Theme from a
summer place playing]
530
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,676
[Engine rumbles]
531
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,348
[Tires squealing and screeching]
38272
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