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1
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,180
Ms.Lemon, here's the research you wanted for that white house skit.
2
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Oh, okay, thanks.
3
00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:11,230
You know it, lady broseph!
4
00:00:14,060 --> 00:00:16,100
What!
Those are your new interns.
5
00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:18,670
Aren't they a little old, and over-dressed?
6
00:00:18,690 --> 00:00:21,830
They're all former investment bankers who
were laid off after that economic crash
7
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that Nancy Pelosi caused.
8
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:27,150
They've had zero real-world skills, but God, they work hard.
9
00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:31,550
Gentlemen, I need you to run out and pick up some flowers,
10
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A collection of bath soaps, and some
spanish-language gossip magazines.
11
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Soap and spanish magazines?
12
00:00:39,230 --> 00:00:42,790
What, are you expecting a visit from the, uh... um...
13
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,040
Oh, Lemon, don't start unless you've got something.
Okay.
14
00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:47,420
Elisa's grandmother's coming to visit.
15
00:00:47,430 --> 00:00:49,230
I don't think she likes me.
16
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I don't understand it.
17
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,780
Well, as long as Elisa likes you, that's all that matters, right?
18
00:00:55,790 --> 00:00:59,310
Oh, no. I need concepcion on board.
She's the matriarch of this family.
19
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:02,590
And in Puerto Rico, elderly women are held in very high esteem.
20
00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:07,210
You should go there, Lemon. They'd love you.
21
00:01:08,890 --> 00:01:11,120
None of this is mine.
22
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:14,220
I live in 3-b, this is 13-b. You know what, I'm gonna say it.
23
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Women should not deliver the mail.
24
00:01:16,060 --> 00:01:18,270
Dr. Andrew baird? Do you know this guy?
25
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I don't think so.
26
00:01:19,410 --> 00:01:21,730
Well, he's a pediatrician, so you know he likes kids.
27
00:01:21,770 --> 00:01:23,350
Or feet. No, no, kids.
28
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:27,220
He has a bill from a divorce lawyer, so you know he's single.
29
00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:29,870
And he has a golf magazine, so you know he's not gay or poor.
30
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Jenna, come on.
31
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Now let's see what kind of movies he likes.
32
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What are you doing?
That's a federal offense.
33
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And you already have two strikes.
34
00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:37,900
I do not support this!
35
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Muppets take Manhattan.
36
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Caddyshack.
37
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And a documentary about how pies are made.
38
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Hello, Dr. Baird.
39
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Wasn't that a treat?
40
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Only the special tours get to see Conan without his wig.
41
00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:56,520
Mi programa esta empezando ahora.
42
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Oh, I'm sorry but her show's on now.
43
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Do you think we could...
44
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,490
Uh, yes, yes. Jonathan, would you come and help Mrs. Padriera?
45
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,810
I think your grandmother hates me.
46
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:08,910
I don't understand.
47
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She's usually a very loving person.
48
00:02:11,070 --> 00:02:12,940
Is it because I'm white?
No.
49
00:02:12,950 --> 00:02:15,810
I've had white boyfriends. Black, cuban...
50
00:02:15,820 --> 00:02:18,880
Brazilian guys with german heritage...
I get it.
51
00:02:18,890 --> 00:02:21,630
You've been with other men. Congratulations.
52
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:24,210
Thank you.
What is she watching?
53
00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:26,130
Los Amantes Clandestinos.
54
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It's a mexican telenovela.
55
00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:28,800
But who is that?
56
00:02:28,810 --> 00:02:32,520
That isel generalissimo. He's the villain of Los Amantes.
57
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Pa!
58
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The name of the actor is Hector Moreda.
59
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Dime donde estan los diamantes.
60
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Nunca!
61
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Dime.
62
00:02:41,610 --> 00:02:44,180
He looks exactly like me.
63
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He does look like you.
64
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:24,370
Dude, I have to meet you. I'm Brian.
65
00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:25,580
What's up, Brian?
66
00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:30,000
We love you. "This honky grandma be trippin.'
67
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,540
Hey, when I quote lines from your movie, that's not racist, right?
68
00:03:32,570 --> 00:03:34,930
Of course not. I transcend race.
69
00:03:34,940 --> 00:03:38,090
Hey, look, we're all going out after work, and I know you like to party.
70
00:03:38,110 --> 00:03:39,440
We'd be honored if you'd come with.
71
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:42,130
You shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition at.
72
00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:44,680
But yeah, I'm in.
73
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,170
We'll start off at McManus-McMinnigan's.
74
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Have you ever drunk a yard of beer?
75
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:53,260
A yard, like a lawn? Yes, I have.
76
00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:57,490
Tracy Jordan!
77
00:04:02,630 --> 00:04:05,280
He has an ice cream maker? Come on!
78
00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:07,610
Don't be weird-looking, don't be weird-looking.
79
00:04:07,650 --> 00:04:09,340
Ah, girl!
80
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:10,340
Oh, God!
81
00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:13,520
Dr. Baird, there's someone at your door.
82
00:04:13,990 --> 00:04:16,350
Oh, thanks, Oswald.
83
00:04:16,370 --> 00:04:18,160
Oswald was just helping me hang some pictures.
84
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:21,890
I live in the basement, so I have all the nails.
85
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:27,500
I'm Drew. Sorry I smell like frosting. I just love to bake.
86
00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:34,330
I want to go to there.
87
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:36,430
So will I see you before Saturday?
88
00:04:36,460 --> 00:04:38,330
Jack, about this weekend...
89
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,910
I don't think you should come to my cousin's police academy graduation,
90
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,060
or my other cousin's parole party.
91
00:04:44,090 --> 00:04:48,510
Boy, I hope those two have a showdown that pits family against justice.
92
00:04:48,540 --> 00:04:50,800
Hang on, you mean you don't want me to come?
93
00:04:50,840 --> 00:04:51,990
It's not me.
94
00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:54,130
Abuela thought it should just be family.
95
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,660
Is this about the generalissimo?
96
00:04:55,690 --> 00:04:56,550
Jack.
97
00:04:56,590 --> 00:05:00,590
As a child, my grandmother worked in a
silver mine without proper ventilation.
98
00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:04,080
Now her mine is squishy like a hacky sack.
99
00:05:04,090 --> 00:05:06,640
But no matter what, she's still my abuelita.
100
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:10,260
Even though sometimes she comes at me
with a knife because of a silver frenzy.
101
00:05:10,290 --> 00:05:12,200
I'll call you tomorrow, okay?
102
00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:14,450
Okay, good night, querida.
103
00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:21,930
Generalissimo.
104
00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:26,340
Look at Dr. Baird. How did you get a picture of him?
105
00:05:26,350 --> 00:05:30,940
I told him his haircut was exactly what
I've been trying to describe to my barber.
106
00:05:30,950 --> 00:05:33,740
Yeah, smooth, I know. I'm way out of my league here.
107
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,390
Okay, don't get intimidad.
You know he can't be perfect.
108
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,990
No, he might be.
109
00:05:38,030 --> 00:05:39,840
I got some more of his mail.
110
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And I opened it.
111
00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:42,800
Uh-huh,yeah, I'm the worst.
112
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,830
It just proves that I don't deserve this guy.
113
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He went to medical school at Columbia, all kinds of charity baloney.
114
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He gets alll of the movie channels, including Starz.
115
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,740
And he trains seeing eye dogs at home.
116
00:05:54,780 --> 00:05:57,730
Oh, well, that's no good for you. You're allergic to dogs.
117
00:05:57,740 --> 00:06:00,780
I guess I'll have to step in then.
Shut up. Just let me think!
118
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,400
Please keep your voices down.
119
00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:05,540
Mr. Jordan is a little hung over.
120
00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:08,200
He pulled an uncle Harland Parcell last night.
121
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:09,910
Minus the wistful jug blowing.
122
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,480
I went out with the interns.
123
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,670
Those white boys are not kidding around.
124
00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,540
Have you ever tasted scotch?
125
00:06:16,570 --> 00:06:17,620
It's terrible!
126
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:22,100
And this thing they call "box seats at the rangers game," it's so cold!
127
00:06:22,140 --> 00:06:23,770
And what is rohypnol?
128
00:06:23,810 --> 00:06:25,660
Tracy, those are roofies!
129
00:06:25,690 --> 00:06:28,010
So I shouldn't have taken two of them for my headache?
130
00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:29,700
There he is!
131
00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:33,390
Tonight, shooters at blockheads, lay a base, at
meet up with my bro-hams at the cornell club?
132
00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:35,990
Hey, you know it, bri-man! A'ight!
133
00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,450
I have no idea what either one of us just said.
134
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,610
He thinks you're going out again.
You gotta tell him you can't.
135
00:06:41,620 --> 00:06:43,250
I have a rep to maintain.
136
00:06:43,300 --> 00:06:46,450
If I can't keep up with a bunch of wall street frat boys...
137
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:50,250
Uh-oh, here come the roofies.
138
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,580
You can do whatever you want to me.
139
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:59,190
Uno, dos...
140
00:07:02,090 --> 00:07:04,550
You wanted to see me?
Lemon, this is Elisa.
141
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,680
What? Come on, you're a nurse?
142
00:07:06,690 --> 00:07:08,400
Yeah, some of us are hot.
143
00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:11,040
Lemon, we have a problem... with him.
144
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:17,840
Boy, that guys looks a lot like you.
145
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:18,780
Precisely.
146
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,190
Two hours a day, five days a week, Hector Moreda
147
00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:24,920
and the generalissimo are poisoning
Elisa's grandmother against me.
148
00:07:24,930 --> 00:07:27,050
Oh, he just blew up that kid!
149
00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:28,710
Elisa and I have enough obstacles.
150
00:07:28,730 --> 00:07:32,400
Our work schedules, our cultures, her adorably broken english.
151
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,500
Metrocards are a real thing, Jack.
152
00:07:34,530 --> 00:07:36,520
You use them on the subway.
153
00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:40,480
Anyway, this morning, Telemundo, which is owned by Sheinhardt-Universal,
154
00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:43,400
purchased Los Amantes, uh... Clandestinos.
155
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:46,030
And now, I own it.
156
00:07:46,060 --> 00:07:47,490
Isn't that romantic?
157
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:52,900
Now, all I have to do is kill off the
generalissimo, and clear a path to Elisa'sabuela.
158
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:56,230
Lemon, the director needs a script by this afternoon,
and Elisa here will help you with the spanish.
159
00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,700
No, no, no, don't drag me into this. I have my own problems.
160
00:07:58,710 --> 00:08:01,080
And I've never even watched that show.
161
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,560
All you need to know is that el geralissimo is pure evil, look at him.
162
00:08:05,590 --> 00:08:09,220
He stole that girl's love letters and opened them.
163
00:08:09,260 --> 00:08:13,210
Opened her mail? That is just shocking. He's a monster.
164
00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:15,730
Or he has a really good reason to do it.
165
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:21,120
Oh, no, his only reason was to trick
her into giving up her honor to him.
166
00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:24,640
Uh-huh, and how did he use her mail to do that, exactly?
167
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:30,260
He read her most intimate secrets, and
turned himself into that which she desired.
168
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:35,170
What she loved, he pretended to love too, until it was too late.
169
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:44,500
My dog ran away!
170
00:08:44,510 --> 00:08:46,560
Oh, my God. Let me get my coat.
171
00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:56,950
Buster.
Buster!
172
00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:01,080
Come here, boy! Buster!
173
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:04,050
The funny thing is this is what I love about him.
174
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,730
Don't worry, Liz. We're gonna find him.
175
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:14,330
If we don't, I don't think I could ever be around dogs again.
176
00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:20,800
You know, I'm actually on the board of the
pediatric restless leg syndrome association.
177
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:25,120
Oh, I forgot I even had this on. I have so many charity t-shirts.
178
00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,780
We have so much in common.
179
00:09:26,820 --> 00:09:28,990
Well, Buster's probably dead.
180
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:32,710
Do you want to go to the wine bar around the
corner, deal with these emotions, get some dinner?
181
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,330
Uh, I would love to, Liz, I really would.
182
00:09:36,340 --> 00:09:39,610
But, I just got divorced not that long ago.
183
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:42,420
I'm really not ready for this kind of thing just yet.
184
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:46,370
Plus, I have not given up on that dog. He's a fighter.
185
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:48,060
Buster!
186
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,920
Yeah, Buster!
187
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:53,190
Shoot it, dog!
188
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,370
I'm going to! I'm Tracy Jordan.
189
00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:58,000
Why would I be afraid of fire next to my mouth?
190
00:09:58,010 --> 00:10:00,290
Drink, drink, drink!
191
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:09,320
Is she watching?
Yes.
192
00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:12,090
I told her it was a very special episode.
193
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,990
Goodbye, general.
194
00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:24,410
Esto es por mi padre!
195
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:27,890
Fallaste!
196
00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,980
Wait, wait, wait. What did he just say? That wasn't in the script.
197
00:10:30,990 --> 00:10:33,390
He said "you missed."
198
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,790
Fallaste otra vez!
199
00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:37,320
He said "you missed again."
200
00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:41,130
Y ahora, esta pocion me dejara vir por siempre!
201
00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:44,310
"And now, this potion's gonna make me live forever."
202
00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:46,140
What's happening, Jack?
203
00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:48,900
El generalissimo was supposed to die!
204
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,390
Morena has gone broken arrow. Jonathan!
205
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,640
We really should have had somebody on the set who speaks spanish.
206
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,270
I'll call you back.
207
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:05,180
Moreda.
208
00:11:10,410 --> 00:11:12,080
Moreda!
209
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,730
Welcome, Jack.
210
00:11:20,750 --> 00:11:22,430
Cigar, brandy?
211
00:11:22,450 --> 00:11:24,030
What happened, Hector?
212
00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:26,470
The general was supposed to die.
Ay.
213
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:30,140
Do not try to out-generalissimo me, my friend.
214
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,390
This role has made me rich, famous and respected.
215
00:11:33,430 --> 00:11:37,090
I get to cut the line at Disneyland, if I come mid-week.
216
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,420
I have a lucrative endorsement deal with sabor de soledad!
217
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,850
Ahora con mas semen del toro.
218
00:11:42,890 --> 00:11:45,460
I am not going to let you take all that away from me.
219
00:11:45,490 --> 00:11:46,790
I know where you came from, Hector.
220
00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:50,250
Play ball, or you'll be back doing R-rated hypnotism at the bull fights so fast,
221
00:11:50,260 --> 00:11:51,340
you won't know what hit you.
222
00:11:51,350 --> 00:11:53,860
You come over here and say that to my face.
223
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,090
No, you come over here.
Nunca!
224
00:11:56,100 --> 00:12:00,670
If you refuse to be reasonable, I must call the presidente of Telemundo.
225
00:12:04,130 --> 00:12:05,970
La oficina de Jack Donaghy.
226
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,740
Hola?
227
00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:09,880
Well-played, Jack.
228
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:15,610
I see that we are not so different, you and I.
229
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:18,020
We laugh alike.
We think alike.
230
00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:20,230
At times, we even drink alike.
231
00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:22,790
You can lose your mind.
232
00:12:25,190 --> 00:12:28,490
Look, you should know, I'm doing this for a woman.
233
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:30,790
This woman.
234
00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:35,110
Wow, I am super gay, and I would totally switch for her.
235
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,810
She's amazing.
236
00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:41,270
But her grandmother hates me, because she
hates the generalissimo, so he's gotta go.
237
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:45,060
El generalissimo does not have to die to clear the way to the abuela.
238
00:12:45,110 --> 00:12:47,560
Not if the abuela comes to love him.
239
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,320
But that's impossible.
240
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,590
Seduction ner impossible forel generalissimo.
241
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:58,030
I will become everything that old hispanic women desire.
242
00:12:58,070 --> 00:13:00,300
I will make her love me.
243
00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:01,720
You really think you can pull that off?
244
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,120
It will be the performance of a lifetime.
245
00:13:04,170 --> 00:13:06,510
Like Julie Harris in The Belle of Amherst."
246
00:13:06,550 --> 00:13:09,660
Wow, you are surprisingly gay.
247
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,740
Okay, so?
248
00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,330
So did you ever find Buster?
249
00:13:13,370 --> 00:13:17,010
What did you understand that picture is from a dog food ad.
250
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,050
Hi, Lemon. Here's today's script.
251
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:23,580
I translated it, and took out thestar wars references.
252
00:13:23,630 --> 00:13:25,100
Are you an actress?
253
00:13:25,140 --> 00:13:26,560
No, I'm a nurse.
254
00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:27,820
Oh, good.
255
00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:30,770
Don't listen to anyone who says you should become an actress.
256
00:13:30,780 --> 00:13:32,330
Okay.
257
00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:35,250
Uh, I also cut the scene between the general and Tia Maria.
258
00:13:35,270 --> 00:13:36,620
They cannot be together.
259
00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:38,630
Not after what he did to Maria's daughter.
260
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:39,800
Why? What did he do?
261
00:13:39,810 --> 00:13:41,820
Oh, it was despicable.
262
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,760
Even worse than his misuse of the mails.
263
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:49,900
The generalissimo tricked her to the villa by inviting her to a fancy party.
264
00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:53,930
But when she got there, it was just the two of them.
265
00:13:53,940 --> 00:13:57,120
He drugged her champagne and had his way with her.
266
00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,860
Later, she gave birth to the devil. You know, sweeps week.
267
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:02,510
That's what I could do to Drew.
268
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,540
Drug him? Liz, no.
269
00:14:04,550 --> 00:14:07,230
Having been on both sides of that, I could tell you it's not a good idea.
270
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,130
No, I'm going to tell Drew that I'm having a little
271
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,370
"welcome to the building" party for him, but there is no party.
272
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:17,430
And then, when he shows up, I'll laugh
and say "oh, it's the wrong night."
273
00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:20,280
And then he'll laugh, and say "oh, well, one glass couldn't hurt."
274
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:21,780
And then I will put my mouth on his mouth.
275
00:14:21,810 --> 00:14:23,910
No, Lemon, do not do this.
276
00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:26,660
The trickery, the deceit is a slippery slope.
277
00:14:26,710 --> 00:14:29,810
Yeah, but you haven't seen Dr. Baird. He looks like a cartoon pilot.
278
00:14:29,820 --> 00:14:32,050
Be very careful.
279
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,840
El generalissimo was once a good man.
280
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,040
But the years of loneliness drove him insane.
281
00:14:38,050 --> 00:14:41,270
I am not the generalissimo, Elisa.
282
00:14:43,690 --> 00:14:48,360
Mr. Jordan, I called my uncle Harland, and I got his hangover cure.
283
00:14:48,370 --> 00:14:52,900
"mix two cups boiled possum meat with
one messload ragweed, stir in alcohol... "
284
00:14:52,910 --> 00:14:55,770
Ken. These interns are wearing me out.
285
00:14:55,780 --> 00:15:01,840
It's like I said in my not-hit comedy cruise
boat, "I'm gettin' too old for this ship."
286
00:15:01,890 --> 00:15:03,590
Well, you are getting older, sir.
287
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:06,020
There's no reason you have to keep acting like you're 20.
288
00:15:06,060 --> 00:15:07,760
Yes, there is.
289
00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:11,860
Do you know what happens to a comedian
when he gets old and loses his audience?
290
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:14,440
He starts to get offered serious roles.
291
00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:17,090
And do you really want to see me play Arthur Ashe?
292
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:19,380
That would be terrible.
293
00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:20,520
You leave him alone!
294
00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:21,870
Exactly.
295
00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:26,660
So if I'm gonna keep my hilarious reputation, these interns gotta go!
296
00:15:26,690 --> 00:15:29,120
But where?They don't know how to do anything,
297
00:15:29,130 --> 00:15:30,910
and there are no jobs left on Wall Street.
298
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:33,610
Then I'll find something for them to do.
299
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,470
Drew.
300
00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:40,930
Oh,uh, am I the first one here?
301
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,230
What?
302
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,510
No, the party's tomorrow night.
303
00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:48,970
Tonight, I'm just hanging out, eating fondue by candlelight.
304
00:15:49,030 --> 00:15:52,290
Bucome in, I was just opening a bottle of wine to drink alone.
305
00:15:52,340 --> 00:15:55,490
Okay, I guess one glass couldn't hurt.
306
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:57,830
I found your dog!
What?
307
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,660
He lost his collar, but I recognize him from the poster.
308
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:02,400
That's not possible.
309
00:16:02,410 --> 00:16:03,650
Of course it's possible.
310
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:06,620
How could he not want to come back to this beautiful lady?
311
00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:08,820
My dog is back!
312
00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:11,190
I'll open the wine.
313
00:16:11,670 --> 00:16:14,020
Just put him down.
314
00:16:43,650 --> 00:16:45,730
Oh, muy dulce.
315
00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:49,610
Si, si, si.
316
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,540
Oh, you need more.
317
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,530
Buster, you wang!
318
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:39,600
Let's get you back in your special kitchen cabinet.
319
00:17:39,610 --> 00:17:41,420
Man, that dog is giving me a headache.
320
00:17:41,450 --> 00:17:44,890
I have some aspirin in my white bag there if you need any.
321
00:17:52,230 --> 00:17:53,440
Everything okay in there?
322
00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:55,350
Yeah, it's okay, he's just playing along.
323
00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:57,910
Or he bites me.
324
00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:02,500
Alone at last.
325
00:18:04,690 --> 00:18:05,990
Are you okay?
326
00:18:15,990 --> 00:18:16,950
You did what?
327
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:18,750
No, no, not me. The pills!
328
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:19,880
Is this my mail?
329
00:18:19,930 --> 00:18:22,010
Okay, no, you're not thinking clearly.
330
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,120
Why is it all open?
331
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,900
That's not your dog.
332
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:29,860
I can explain. Just relax.
333
00:18:29,870 --> 00:18:31,630
Help!
334
00:18:32,990 --> 00:18:34,870
I am the generalissimo!
335
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,350
I don't know what that means.
336
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,060
Abuela made you breaded calf's brains.
337
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:42,930
Muchas gracias.
338
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,630
She really liked the chgeyou made in Los Amantes clandestinos.
339
00:18:54,660 --> 00:18:58,280
She's very proud that I am dating such an important television man.
340
00:19:04,850 --> 00:19:07,380
It's too sad.
341
00:19:08,890 --> 00:19:11,740
I'll look into it, uh, abuela.
342
00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:17,360
Hi, Liz.
343
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,680
Again, I am so sorry about everhing...
344
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,350
I actually got some of your mail.
345
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,870
Oh, okay. Hope you didn't open it.
346
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:29,490
I did. Live at the Hollywood bowl. Classic.
347
00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,790
Membership in the cheese of the month club,
348
00:19:31,830 --> 00:19:35,610
and the steak of the month club, and a copy of vegetarian times.
349
00:19:35,630 --> 00:19:36,920
I'm a ip-flopper.
350
00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:40,790
Also a response to your complaint about bad grammar in subway ads.
351
00:19:40,830 --> 00:19:43,460
The word "whom" deserves a defender.
352
00:19:43,500 --> 00:19:46,080
I'm just saying that based on your mail,
353
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:50,170
I actually would have wanted to meet this Elizabeth Lemon in 3-b.
354
00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:52,420
Really?
355
00:19:52,430 --> 00:19:54,220
Do you want to try this again?
356
00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:57,040
I know that I lied to you, and I accidentally roofied you,
357
00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,820
but weirder things have happened, right?
358
00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:02,320
Isn't that Tracy Jordan?
359
00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:08,000
The Lehman Brothers Investment bank will reopen
under the direction of comedian Tracy Jordan.
360
00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:11,430
I'm doing this so no one will know I'm getting old.
361
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,940
But you just told us you're old.
362
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:14,430
This interview is over.
363
00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:16,930
Yeah, I guess weirder things have happened.
364
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,140
And now to lighten things up, some pictures of beautiful latin babies,
365
00:20:20,150 --> 00:20:23,050
and the music of Tito Puente.
366
00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:25,580
Jack this is ridiculous.
367
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:30,490
Okay, it's a date.
368
00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:32,180
Okay.
28709
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