Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,231 --> 00:00:03,958
Liz, did you hear?
2
00:00:03,958 --> 00:00:05,771
Yeah, is your brother
Gonna be okay?
3
00:00:05,899 --> 00:00:07,295
Oh, no, not that.
4
00:00:07,432 --> 00:00:10,346
A new movie about janis joplin
5
00:00:10,346 --> 00:00:11,675
Is going into production.
6
00:00:11,888 --> 00:00:14,362
And sheinhdt-universal
Is making it.
7
00:00:14,606 --> 00:00:16,464
I know jack can get me
An audition.
8
00:00:16,465 --> 00:00:19,755
So i'm gonna storm
Into his office in character.
9
00:00:19,989 --> 00:00:20,691
Yay!
10
00:00:20,691 --> 00:00:23,783
Oh, liz, i knew
You'd be happy for me.
11
00:00:23,783 --> 00:00:27,880
- somebody's sleepy.
- i am sleepy.
12
00:00:28,201 --> 00:00:29,964
But i'm also so excited.
13
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:32,705
Hey, max, is this
Your baby sister?
14
00:00:32,873 --> 00:00:35,830
Oh, what a cute little girl.
15
00:00:35,830 --> 00:00:38,998
Or boy if you grow up and feel
That's what's inside you.
16
00:00:41,423 --> 00:00:43,160
Omg, liz.
17
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,422
Look at you and me
And our biological clocks.
18
00:00:45,422 --> 00:00:46,794
You're going baby crazy
19
00:00:46,794 --> 00:00:49,274
And i keep getting turned
On by car accidents.
20
00:00:49,274 --> 00:00:51,317
I'm not baby crazy, jenna.
21
00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:52,822
This whole adoption thing
22
00:00:52,822 --> 00:00:54,915
Is just taking a lot longer
Than i thought.
23
00:00:55,124 --> 00:00:56,457
Where did you get
That little shoe?
24
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,429
It isn't stealing
If it fell on the ground.
25
00:01:03,936 --> 00:01:06,240
So, uh, that's the tour,
Elisa.
26
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:10,239
I think you'll find being
My mother's nurse a mixed bag.
27
00:01:10,262 --> 00:01:13,640
When she's in a foul mood,
It can be horribly unpleasant.
28
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,550
But at other times,
She is...asleep.
29
00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:18,830
I understand.
Elder care can be stressful.
30
00:01:19,007 --> 00:01:21,099
Uh, especially when
The object of that care
31
00:01:21,099 --> 00:01:24,885
Wanders around at night
In depression-era petty pants.
32
00:01:25,245 --> 00:01:27,721
You should've seen my
Grandmother in her later years.
33
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:28,945
Do you know
What kind of clothes
34
00:01:28,945 --> 00:01:31,064
Old puerto rican ladies
Wear around the house?
35
00:01:31,064 --> 00:01:31,702
No.
36
00:01:31,702 --> 00:01:33,500
Me neither 'cause
She never wore any.
37
00:01:33,617 --> 00:01:35,298
But family is family.
38
00:01:35,976 --> 00:01:37,047
And you're a good son.
39
00:01:37,047 --> 00:01:39,180
Well, i do what i can
For my mother.
40
00:01:39,334 --> 00:01:42,471
Jack, somebody's gotta
Dry me off.
41
00:01:42,887 --> 00:01:44,959
He just left, mrs. Donaghy.
42
00:01:45,532 --> 00:01:47,203
I'm coming to help you.
43
00:01:51,419 --> 00:01:56,537
www.1000fr.com presents
44
00:01:56,537 --> 00:02:02,245
sync:frs@luscinia
45
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,113
30rock s03e07
46
00:02:10,318 --> 00:02:12,808
Tracy, your friends and i
Are concerned about you.
47
00:02:12,996 --> 00:02:15,485
We think your spending
Has gotten out of control.
48
00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:17,361
Give me an example.
49
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,080
Well, you bought three hours
Of network primetime
50
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,574
For your salute to benny hill.
51
00:02:30,624 --> 00:02:32,403
Jack, you don't get it.
52
00:02:32,524 --> 00:02:34,164
I don't want to spend
So much.
53
00:02:34,264 --> 00:02:35,258
I have to.
54
00:02:35,409 --> 00:02:37,091
I'm afraid angie
Will divorce me
55
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:40,046
If i ever have enough money
For her to live off of half.
56
00:02:40,137 --> 00:02:41,554
So before she can get,
57
00:02:41,638 --> 00:02:43,755
I have to spend it all
On useless things
58
00:02:43,755 --> 00:02:46,777
Like gold shoes
And grizz and dotcom.
59
00:02:47,203 --> 00:02:49,725
Well, she's not gonna get
Half your money, tracy.
60
00:02:49,725 --> 00:02:51,047
What does your pre-nup say?
61
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:52,279
I don't got a pre-nup!
62
00:02:52,407 --> 00:02:53,813
When angie and i
Got married,
63
00:02:53,813 --> 00:02:55,078
My only assets were
64
00:02:55,078 --> 00:02:57,981
A toaster oven and two tickets
To a young mc concert.
65
00:02:57,981 --> 00:02:59,561
You need to be protected.
66
00:02:59,561 --> 00:03:00,691
Let's bring angie in here.
67
00:03:00,691 --> 00:03:03,076
We'll think of something.
A post-nup, if you will.
68
00:03:03,076 --> 00:03:05,174
Something that will bring you
Peace of mind.
69
00:03:05,246 --> 00:03:06,073
Okay.
70
00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:07,829
I'll bring angie in.
71
00:03:08,454 --> 00:03:11,507
But i'm gonna tell her this
Is all your idea.
72
00:03:15,766 --> 00:03:16,929
Don't help me.
73
00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:18,787
I'm too proud.
74
00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:25,903
Hi!
75
00:03:31,329 --> 00:03:32,325
Hiya, bunny!
76
00:03:32,426 --> 00:03:32,923
Uh, excuse me.
77
00:03:33,841 --> 00:03:34,638
Hello, there.
78
00:03:35,245 --> 00:03:36,506
Did you just touch my head?
79
00:03:36,647 --> 00:03:37,316
Well...
80
00:03:37,986 --> 00:03:40,414
I had to do something
To get your attention.
81
00:03:40,947 --> 00:03:42,325
Okay, you've got it.
82
00:03:42,609 --> 00:03:43,481
Yeah, i do.
83
00:03:44,605 --> 00:03:45,735
I like your tie.
84
00:03:46,022 --> 00:03:48,393
And i li aggressive women
With a nerdy vibe.
85
00:03:48,703 --> 00:03:50,849
How about we grab
Some coffee and explore this?
86
00:03:51,447 --> 00:03:52,623
Yeah.
87
00:03:53,908 --> 00:03:55,183
What?
88
00:03:58,116 --> 00:04:01,329
Howdy, jack!
It's me, janis joplin!
89
00:04:01,429 --> 00:04:06,927
And i want to audition for
My sheinhardt-universal biopic so bad
90
00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:09,126
That i came here
Dressed as me.
91
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,959
Actually, i am me
92
00:04:11,959 --> 00:04:14,235
So, well, i dressed normal.
93
00:04:14,362 --> 00:04:16,910
But my friend, jenna
94
00:04:17,396 --> 00:04:20,678
She should be my understudy.
95
00:04:21,117 --> 00:04:23,325
I mean, she should audition
For me.
96
00:04:23,650 --> 00:04:26,204
But i'm me now actually.
97
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:29,149
I'm going train wreck aside,
I love this idea.
98
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:30,659
- it's great synergy.
- yeah.
99
00:04:30,669 --> 00:04:33,073
By putting a tv actress
Into the movie world
100
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:33,960
We can promote both.
101
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,889
It's like we're including
A heroes dvd
102
00:04:36,122 --> 00:04:38,368
With missile guidance system
We sell.
103
00:04:38,928 --> 00:04:40,534
- i'll call the studio.
- yes!
104
00:04:40,534 --> 00:04:45,015
I'm so glad that
I time-traveled here from 1969.
105
00:04:45,556 --> 00:04:48,200
Whoa, what is that iron bird?
106
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,505
They had airplanes
In the '60s, jenna.
107
00:04:49,505 --> 00:04:50,241
Oh, right.
108
00:04:51,511 --> 00:04:53,947
Boy, i feel like
I've just been talking nonstop.
109
00:04:54,113 --> 00:04:55,349
No, you also ate quite a bit.
110
00:04:56,399 --> 00:04:58,440
It's my fault for wanting
To hear all about your job.
111
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,380
It's just so much more
Interesting than the u.n.
112
00:05:00,490 --> 00:05:01,361
Oh, come on, really?
113
00:05:01,361 --> 00:05:03,698
You got all the different
Languages and the costumes.
114
00:05:03,698 --> 00:05:05,104
And that big meeting room.
115
00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:08,114
It must be like working in
The galactic senate in star wars.
116
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:09,223
They are similar.
117
00:05:09,612 --> 00:05:11,067
We are also very concerned about
118
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:13,110
The growing influence
Of the sith lords.
119
00:05:17,272 --> 00:05:18,037
Wow.
120
00:05:18,037 --> 00:05:19,909
Are you free for dinner
Some night this week?
121
00:05:20,144 --> 00:05:21,738
Yeah, sure, i'd love it.
Sounds great.
122
00:05:28,304 --> 00:05:29,951
Who was that?
123
00:05:29,988 --> 00:05:31,449
A guy that i met.
124
00:05:31,449 --> 00:05:32,883
Is this part
Of your mommy thing?
125
00:05:32,883 --> 00:05:34,534
Only in so far as we met
126
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,880
Because i touched his head
Thinking he was a child.
127
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,128
Oh, liz.
128
00:05:38,128 --> 00:05:39,839
I like him.
He's smart.
129
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,636
He's funny.
He's got a job.
130
00:05:41,636 --> 00:05:42,588
- yay!
- but you know what?
131
00:05:42,588 --> 00:05:43,593
I'm gonna screw this up.
132
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,443
I always find a way
To screw good things up,
133
00:05:45,443 --> 00:05:46,862
And this one
Is a mine field.
134
00:05:47,054 --> 00:05:48,978
Did i mention that we met
Because i thought he was a baby?
135
00:05:49,117 --> 00:05:50,140
He doesn't have to know that.
136
00:05:50,364 --> 00:05:51,491
He can't know that.
137
00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:53,069
But what if i say
Something stupid
138
00:05:53,069 --> 00:05:56,873
Like order a tall coffee
Or talk about my nintendo wii?
139
00:05:56,874 --> 00:05:58,742
Liz, you like this guy.
140
00:05:58,742 --> 00:05:59,953
You're a grown woman.
141
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:03,340
Take a lesson from janis
And show some self-control.
142
00:06:04,012 --> 00:06:05,644
How far into that biography
Are you?
143
00:06:05,644 --> 00:06:06,485
Not very.
144
00:06:06,976 --> 00:06:08,296
Why?
What happens?
145
00:06:08,506 --> 00:06:09,686
So let me get this straight.
146
00:06:10,277 --> 00:06:11,543
If i sign this
147
00:06:11,543 --> 00:06:14,850
And then tracy decides to run away
With that chunky chick from hairspray--
148
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:18,235
Or any female
Of equivalent thickness.
149
00:06:18,236 --> 00:06:20,456
Then i get $8,500?
150
00:06:20,456 --> 00:06:21,282
That's correct.
151
00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:24,865
Ugh.
152
00:06:25,502 --> 00:06:26,355
What do i care?
153
00:06:26,711 --> 00:06:28,439
I'll sign your stupid contract.
154
00:06:28,927 --> 00:06:30,619
Never gonna leave this man
Anyway.
155
00:06:30,896 --> 00:06:31,784
You're not?
156
00:06:31,945 --> 00:06:32,760
Baby.
157
00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:34,888
I'm gonna be with you
To the very end.
158
00:06:35,152 --> 00:06:37,216
I'm gonna watch you die,
Tracy jordan.
159
00:06:38,817 --> 00:06:40,544
She's done it before, jack.
160
00:06:41,815 --> 00:06:42,587
Forget it!
161
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,562
I know you're not
Gonna leave me.
162
00:06:44,602 --> 00:06:47,259
I got somebody
Who's gonna watch me die!
163
00:06:47,259 --> 00:06:48,891
Tracy, let's not get
Emotional.
164
00:06:53,283 --> 00:06:54,431
This is happening, jack.
165
00:06:54,869 --> 00:06:55,901
You could stay
Or you could leave,
166
00:06:55,901 --> 00:06:57,097
But it's gonna take a while.
167
00:06:57,549 --> 00:06:58,768
Oh, yeah!
168
00:07:02,769 --> 00:07:05,791
Uh, liz, jenna got the lead
In the janis joplin biopic
169
00:07:05,791 --> 00:07:06,605
That i'm co-producing.
170
00:07:06,605 --> 00:07:07,981
And i want her to open
The next show
171
00:07:07,981 --> 00:07:10,009
With a song from the movie.
172
00:07:10,195 --> 00:07:11,300
Aw, come on, jack.
173
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,454
You can't fight synergy, lemon.
It's bigger than all of us.
174
00:07:13,519 --> 00:07:15,145
Nice dress.
Are you going to dinner?
175
00:07:15,256 --> 00:07:16,294
Don't forget your book.
176
00:07:16,565 --> 00:07:19,162
I'll have you know that
I'm having dinner with a man.
177
00:07:20,487 --> 00:07:23,104
So stuart, what is it like
Living under a bridge?
178
00:07:23,104 --> 00:07:23,817
Kenneth!
179
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:25,427
Hey, liz.
180
00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:26,653
I was just telling him about
181
00:07:26,653 --> 00:07:28,192
My new apartment
In williamsburg...
182
00:07:28,395 --> 00:07:29,348
Under the bridge.
183
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:31,272
The u.n.?
184
00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:32,236
They still have that?
185
00:07:32,248 --> 00:07:33,387
I could've sworn
They turned that building
186
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:34,480
Into a barnes and noble.
187
00:07:34,516 --> 00:07:37,016
Like you guys in corporate america
Are doing any better?
188
00:07:37,061 --> 00:07:37,890
Have you learned how to say
189
00:07:37,890 --> 00:07:40,251
"do you want fries
With that" in chinese?
190
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,363
Ha!
191
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:42,535
Jack donaghy,
192
00:07:42,535 --> 00:07:45,456
Ser vp for television
And microwave oven programming.
193
00:07:45,456 --> 00:07:47,275
Stuart lagrange,
U.n. High commission
194
00:07:47,275 --> 00:07:49,496
On water temperature and food taint.
195
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,265
And how did you and lemon meet?
196
00:07:52,441 --> 00:07:55,637
Uh, liz here just saw me on the street
And went for it.
197
00:07:56,072 --> 00:07:56,792
Lemon did that?
198
00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:58,612
Yeah. You know me.
199
00:07:58,843 --> 00:08:01,363
Spend my lunch hour
Walkinup and down 6th aven
200
00:08:01,507 --> 00:08:02,996
Looking for a hot meal.
201
00:08:03,099 --> 00:08:04,024
Okay.
202
00:08:04,136 --> 00:08:05,623
Classic lemon man-eater.
203
00:08:06,193 --> 00:08:07,214
Cat sound.
204
00:08:08,162 --> 00:08:09,185
Well, nice to meet you, jack.
205
00:08:09,262 --> 00:08:09,929
Yeah.
206
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,043
There he is!
207
00:08:13,043 --> 00:08:14,459
I owe you, jackie d.
208
00:08:14,568 --> 00:08:16,893
When i'm on my death bed,
Frenching my wife,
209
00:08:17,012 --> 00:08:18,099
I will think of you.
210
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:19,201
Please don't.
211
00:08:21,940 --> 00:08:22,867
No, no.
Not again.
212
00:08:22,985 --> 00:08:23,836
This is real, people!
213
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,214
This is not a drill!
214
00:08:25,645 --> 00:08:26,261
Let's go!
215
00:08:26,261 --> 00:08:27,094
Yeah!
216
00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:29,207
Tracy, my back!
217
00:08:29,564 --> 00:08:31,118
Ooh, baby,
Hurt my back.
218
00:08:31,192 --> 00:08:33,240
- yeah!
- oh!
219
00:08:36,364 --> 00:08:37,341
I just want you all to know
220
00:08:37,341 --> 00:08:39,073
As i prepare to venture
Into moviedom,
221
00:08:39,302 --> 00:08:41,137
That an actor is only
As good as the words--
222
00:08:41,137 --> 00:08:41,885
Oh, my thing is on.
223
00:08:41,886 --> 00:08:43,372
Everyone shut up.
Shut your mouths.
224
00:08:43,701 --> 00:08:47,289
Breaking news now
About a new janis joplin biopic.
225
00:08:47,389 --> 00:08:49,832
Julia roberts has agreed
To play the tragic singer...
226
00:08:49,832 --> 00:08:50,672
What?
227
00:08:50,672 --> 00:08:52,294
In a film directed
By martin scorse
228
00:08:52,294 --> 00:08:54,918
And written by the best
Screenwriter in the world,
229
00:08:54,921 --> 00:08:55,933
Whoever that is.
230
00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:58,828
The announcement is a huge blow
To a competing project
231
00:08:58,828 --> 00:09:01,196
From jenna moroney
And steven spielberger.
232
00:09:01,393 --> 00:09:03,408
That's right.
Spielberger.
233
00:09:03,867 --> 00:09:05,470
Here's moroney on a windy day.
234
00:09:07,168 --> 00:09:08,802
Don't turn it off,
Ms. Moroney.
235
00:09:08,803 --> 00:09:10,945
They haven't shown that good news
You were telling us about.
236
00:09:11,341 --> 00:09:13,438
'Cause that all seemed
Like really bad news.
237
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:17,284
It's 7:00.
238
00:09:17,284 --> 00:09:19,091
Why don't i hear my mother
Yelling "go home"
239
00:09:19,091 --> 00:09:21,057
To the asian contestant
On jeopardy?
240
00:09:21,058 --> 00:09:22,175
'Cause she's asleep.
241
00:09:22,175 --> 00:09:22,841
Really?
242
00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:24,671
How did you do that?
243
00:09:24,671 --> 00:09:26,059
She fought me at first,
244
00:09:26,059 --> 00:09:29,572
But i find that authoritative
Rapid spanish subdues white people.
245
00:09:30,568 --> 00:09:31,951
Well, i'm heading out
For the evening.
246
00:09:32,432 --> 00:09:33,416
Oh, i forgot.
247
00:09:34,097 --> 00:09:36,014
Somebody dropped that off
For you earlier.
248
00:09:39,128 --> 00:09:40,839
Oh, good god.
249
00:09:41,525 --> 00:09:43,131
Oh, gold shoes.
250
00:09:43,422 --> 00:09:44,995
My nephew just joined
The marines
251
00:09:44,995 --> 00:09:46,111
To try to pay for college,
252
00:09:46,111 --> 00:09:47,610
But that's fun.
253
00:09:47,810 --> 00:09:49,199
No, no,
They're from tracy jordan.
254
00:09:49,294 --> 00:09:51,876
I tried to get him
And his wife to sign a pre-nup,
255
00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:54,676
But all that led to were pledges
Of everlasting love and devotion.
256
00:09:54,676 --> 00:09:56,132
Was ridiculous.
257
00:09:56,530 --> 00:09:57,968
What's ridiculous about love?
258
00:09:57,968 --> 00:09:59,845
Well, the idea of depending
On one person
259
00:09:59,845 --> 00:10:01,339
For the rest of your live
Is irrational.
260
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:03,244
You come in alone,
You go out alone.
261
00:10:03,427 --> 00:10:04,993
That's the saddest thing
I ever heard.
262
00:10:05,085 --> 00:10:06,877
There's nothing sad about it
At all, actually.
263
00:10:07,238 --> 00:10:08,293
I have a great life.
264
00:10:08,431 --> 00:10:10,543
Tonight i'm going out
With a fox news correspondent.
265
00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,362
We'll have some dinner,
Some laughs, some sex.
266
00:10:12,769 --> 00:10:13,911
Not necessarily
In that order.
267
00:10:13,911 --> 00:10:16,563
But i'm not counting on spending
The rest of my life with her.
268
00:10:16,619 --> 00:10:17,567
So what's your plan?
269
00:10:17,778 --> 00:10:19,132
Get old, die alone
270
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:21,315
In an empty room
With your gold shoes?
271
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,026
That's what happens
To most of us.
272
00:10:23,026 --> 00:10:24,359
At least i'm prepared.
273
00:10:24,649 --> 00:10:26,110
Without getting
Into specifics,
274
00:10:26,110 --> 00:10:27,842
My exit involves
A mcflurry machine
275
00:10:28,209 --> 00:10:30,666
And a video tape of
Risque commercials from overseas.
276
00:10:30,699 --> 00:10:32,097
Well, i don't even know
What to say to that.
277
00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:33,775
Except that in puerto rico,
278
00:10:34,146 --> 00:10:36,476
A mcflurry, it's called
Asenor flurry.
279
00:10:39,746 --> 00:10:41,229
This guy makes badhushas.
280
00:10:41,229 --> 00:10:43,312
They're like an indian donut.
They're amazing.
281
00:10:46,995 --> 00:10:48,220
Careful, buddy, it's hot!
282
00:10:49,629 --> 00:10:53,188
Are you trying to pick me up
To keep me from touching fire?
283
00:10:53,243 --> 00:10:53,823
Kiss me.
284
00:10:54,166 --> 00:10:54,917
Wait a minute.
285
00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:58,031
When you first met me,
Did you think i was a child?
286
00:10:58,031 --> 00:10:58,906
Yes, i did, sir.
287
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:00,498
Unbelievable.
288
00:11:01,183 --> 00:11:02,955
I knew i should've listened
To my friends.
289
00:11:03,170 --> 00:11:04,847
Kofi said you were
Too good to be true.
290
00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:06,063
Na ah
291
00:11:06,255 --> 00:11:07,999
Told me to wait three days
Before i called you.
292
00:11:07,999 --> 00:11:08,902
And yet here we are.
293
00:11:09,362 --> 00:11:11,452
Was anything even going
To happen between us tonight?
294
00:11:11,452 --> 00:11:11,931
No.
295
00:11:12,508 --> 00:11:13,781
But not because of your size.
296
00:11:13,781 --> 00:11:15,757
It's because i have a thing
About intimacy.
297
00:11:15,757 --> 00:11:17,669
I'm the weird one.
I'm weirder than you.
298
00:11:18,204 --> 00:11:19,561
- ??
- you're not.
299
00:11:19,561 --> 00:11:20,536
That came out wrong.
300
00:11:20,839 --> 00:11:21,791
You came out wrong.
301
00:11:23,536 --> 00:11:25,878
Oh, and i lied
About your show.
302
00:11:26,875 --> 00:11:27,892
I have seen it.
303
00:11:31,269 --> 00:11:32,478
Be careful crossing the--
304
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:37,155
The lady will be having
The tasting menu
305
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,719
But with some substitutions.
306
00:11:38,719 --> 00:11:40,483
Instead of any of it,
307
00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:42,961
She'll have a cup of hot water
With a chicken bone in it
308
00:11:42,961 --> 00:11:44,920
And a bowl of salted ice cubes.
309
00:12:03,469 --> 00:12:04,363
A towel, sir?
310
00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:08,023
I have something on my ball.
311
00:12:09,777 --> 00:12:10,599
Mint?
312
00:12:20,541 --> 00:12:21,705
Good morning.
313
00:12:22,183 --> 00:12:23,101
Morning, everyone.
314
00:12:24,990 --> 00:12:27,245
Are you all right?
You look very pale.
315
00:12:27,835 --> 00:12:28,412
I'm fine.
316
00:12:28,601 --> 00:12:29,787
I had a good hour
Of sleep last night,
317
00:12:30,087 --> 00:12:31,065
Took a few showers.
318
00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:33,655
There anything you want
To talk about?
319
00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:35,520
I am a nurse.
320
00:12:35,742 --> 00:12:36,434
It's nothing.
321
00:12:37,605 --> 00:12:38,529
It's embarrassing.
322
00:12:39,555 --> 00:12:41,659
More embarrassing
Than your cd collection?
323
00:12:41,659 --> 00:12:44,334
I didn't know michael buble
Had so many albums.
324
00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:45,973
If you must know,
325
00:12:46,938 --> 00:12:47,950
I found a lump.
326
00:12:48,243 --> 00:12:48,996
On your testicle?
327
00:12:50,371 --> 00:12:51,108
Let me see it.
328
00:12:51,609 --> 00:12:52,511
No, thank you.
329
00:12:52,556 --> 00:12:54,155
I think i have it
Under control.
330
00:12:56,205 --> 00:12:56,616
What?
331
00:12:57,906 --> 00:12:59,012
You're talking so fast.
332
00:13:00,343 --> 00:13:01,444
Is that the subjunctive?
333
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,483
How did you do
334
00:13:04,621 --> 00:13:05,915
I told you i was
A professional.
335
00:13:06,985 --> 00:13:08,907
And you forgot
To put on your underpants.
336
00:13:11,889 --> 00:13:14,540
So, uh, any big plans
For your day off?
337
00:13:14,722 --> 00:13:16,085
I'm going to prospect park.
338
00:13:17,653 --> 00:13:19,599
It's my goddaughter's
Quincenera.
339
00:13:20,474 --> 00:13:23,083
Oh, it'sind of like
A debutante...ball.
340
00:13:23,688 --> 00:13:24,737
You did that on purpose.
341
00:13:24,936 --> 00:13:25,681
I did.
342
00:13:26,361 --> 00:13:29,567
Well, there is something there.
343
00:13:29,690 --> 00:13:30,924
Could be a number
Of things.
344
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:32,751
You should get it
Checked out by a doctor.
345
00:13:32,774 --> 00:13:35,018
Thank you for telling me
What i already know.
346
00:13:35,018 --> 00:13:36,776
You should work
Forthe huffington post.
347
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:37,742
I'm sorry.
348
00:13:38,619 --> 00:13:41,213
I'm sure you have friends
Or family you can call.
349
00:13:41,213 --> 00:13:41,863
I'm fine.
350
00:13:42,335 --> 00:13:43,098
Oh, please.
351
00:13:43,098 --> 00:13:45,157
Don't try
To besenor macho solo.
352
00:13:46,035 --> 00:13:48,333
Which is actually
What we call a mcrib sandwich.
353
00:13:48,334 --> 00:13:49,056
I'm fine.
354
00:13:49,536 --> 00:13:50,712
I'm handling this...
355
00:13:51,683 --> 00:13:52,497
All alone.
356
00:13:56,828 --> 00:13:59,527
Jack, what are we doing
About this julia roberts movie?
357
00:13:59,527 --> 00:14:00,610
Aren't people over her?
358
00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:01,672
I mean, come on!
359
00:14:01,944 --> 00:14:03,380
Jenna, you're single like me.
360
00:14:03,428 --> 00:14:06,816
Do you think we need
Some mythical soul mate
361
00:14:06,816 --> 00:14:08,430
To hold our hand through life?
362
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,664
Why, do you want
To get married?
363
00:14:09,664 --> 00:14:10,260
I'll do it?
364
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:11,715
- what?
- what?
365
00:14:11,715 --> 00:14:13,057
Uh, no.
Uh, never mind.
366
00:14:13,388 --> 00:14:14,615
The movie's gonna
Work out fine.
367
00:14:14,615 --> 00:14:16,997
We're very close to securing
Janis joplin's life rights.
368
00:14:16,997 --> 00:14:17,578
Close?
369
00:14:17,727 --> 00:14:19,630
I'm supposed to sing
One of her songs friday night.
370
00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:21,040
Do we at least have
The music rights?
371
00:14:21,192 --> 00:14:22,579
Uh, yes and no, jenna.
372
00:14:22,579 --> 00:14:23,442
Yes, i'm talking.
373
00:14:23,442 --> 00:14:24,986
No, we do not have the music.
374
00:14:24,986 --> 00:14:26,424
But i'm on it.
It's all gonna be fine.
375
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:31,862
Hello.
376
00:14:31,936 --> 00:14:32,799
Stuart, it's me.
377
00:14:34,862 --> 00:14:36,352
Look, liz,
I'm really busy right now.
378
00:14:36,352 --> 00:14:38,725
I just wanted to apologize
For the other night.
379
00:14:38,725 --> 00:14:40,530
But i didn't get a chance
To explain myself.
380
00:14:41,121 --> 00:14:44,306
I'm...kind of baby crazy
Of late.
381
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,188
Socially inept and baby crazy.
382
00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,244
I feel like i'm
In a beer commercial.
383
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,143
Yeah, i get it.
I'm a piece of work.
384
00:14:50,143 --> 00:14:51,764
But i really like you.
385
00:14:51,861 --> 00:14:53,655
And if you gave me
Another chance,
386
00:14:53,655 --> 00:14:54,971
Maybe this could be something.
387
00:14:55,511 --> 00:14:56,717
Liz, at this point
In my life,
388
00:14:57,083 --> 00:14:58,732
Maybe just isn't good enough.
389
00:14:59,744 --> 00:15:00,876
Okay, here's a thought.
390
00:15:01,049 --> 00:15:02,493
Did you see
Thesex in the citymovie?
391
00:15:02,493 --> 00:15:04,422
Once again, liz,
I am an adult man.
392
00:15:04,631 --> 00:15:06,715
Okay, well miranda and steve
Were having issues
393
00:15:06,715 --> 00:15:07,929
Because steve cheated--
394
00:15:07,929 --> 00:15:09,070
Oh, so bored.
395
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:11,343
The point is they decided
To take a break
396
00:15:11,530 --> 00:15:13,467
And then meet up
At the brooklyn bridge
397
00:15:13,467 --> 00:15:16,026
At such and such a time
If they wanted to stay together.
398
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,799
Maybe we could do
The same thing.
399
00:15:18,058 --> 00:15:20,178
Brooklyn bridge,
This saturday, 2:00 p.m.
400
00:15:21,439 --> 00:15:22,014
Okay.
401
00:15:22,656 --> 00:15:23,546
But for whatever reason,
402
00:15:23,546 --> 00:15:24,625
If i don't see you there,
403
00:15:26,375 --> 00:15:27,195
Take care, liz lemon.
404
00:15:27,442 --> 00:15:28,190
You too.
405
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:31,156
Oh, and can you transfer me
To the italian ambassador's office?
406
00:15:31,156 --> 00:15:33,312
Because i lika to maka
Prank phone call.
407
00:15:34,221 --> 00:15:35,280
Please hold.
408
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:50,676
Jack.
409
00:15:51,458 --> 00:15:52,632
What are you doing here?
410
00:15:52,819 --> 00:15:55,177
I wanted to come by
And thank you for all your help.
411
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:56,878
I wasn't sure what
You were serving,
412
00:15:56,916 --> 00:16:00,622
So i brought a '65 moet
And some pizza-blasted pringles.
413
00:16:00,673 --> 00:16:01,943
That was very thoughtful.
414
00:16:02,173 --> 00:16:03,904
I'm sorry if i was rude
The other day.
415
00:16:04,309 --> 00:16:05,603
Oh, you were not being rude.
416
00:16:05,603 --> 00:16:07,126
You were just being stupid.
417
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:08,740
Did you go to the doctor?
418
00:16:08,989 --> 00:16:10,110
I had a biopsy,
419
00:16:10,315 --> 00:16:11,738
And i'm waiting
For the results.
420
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:12,667
So i'm handling it.
421
00:16:12,815 --> 00:16:14,149
Good.
I'm glad.
422
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:16,857
Excellent.
So, uh, here you go.
423
00:16:17,012 --> 00:16:17,806
Thank you.
424
00:16:20,559 --> 00:16:21,530
Jack, would you like
To stay?
425
00:16:21,811 --> 00:16:23,557
Oh, i don't want
To impose.
426
00:16:23,557 --> 00:16:24,634
Oh, come on.
427
00:16:24,941 --> 00:16:27,053
Oh, thank you.
Okay.
428
00:16:27,218 --> 00:16:28,430
Oh, thank you so much.
429
00:16:29,038 --> 00:16:30,368
All of these people
Are your family?
430
00:16:30,368 --> 00:16:31,720
Why are they smiling so much?
431
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,936
Who's being ostracized?
432
00:16:33,155 --> 00:16:35,137
Everybody, this is
My friend jack.
433
00:16:35,844 --> 00:16:38,407
???
434
00:16:38,809 --> 00:16:40,271
??
435
00:16:40,271 --> 00:16:41,643
????
436
00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:52,988
I need to ask your advice
About stuart.
437
00:16:52,988 --> 00:16:56,065
We decided to do this whole
Meet me at the brooklyn bridge
438
00:16:56,065 --> 00:16:57,295
If we still want
To be together thing
439
00:16:57,295 --> 00:16:58,620
From thesex in the city
Movie.
440
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:00,076
They do that a lot in movies.
441
00:17:00,271 --> 00:17:01,591
An affair to rember,
442
00:17:01,773 --> 00:17:03,247
Sleepless in seattle,
443
00:17:03,535 --> 00:17:06,431
And that remake of
An affair to rember that i was in,
444
00:17:06,601 --> 00:17:08,528
A blaffair to rememblack.
445
00:17:09,057 --> 00:17:10,495
I just don't know
What to do.
446
00:17:10,694 --> 00:17:12,334
Here's what you don't do.
447
00:17:12,717 --> 00:17:13,518
Be alone.
448
00:17:13,518 --> 00:17:15,626
We were never meant
To be alone, lemon.
449
00:17:15,626 --> 00:17:17,910
Surround yourself
With people and love
450
00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:19,927
And babies
With pierced ears.
451
00:17:20,614 --> 00:17:21,331
What is wrong with you?
452
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,141
I've had a crazy 48 hours.
453
00:17:23,259 --> 00:17:25,366
It all started when
I realized i'm probably dying.
454
00:17:25,366 --> 00:17:26,969
You see, i have this thing
On my testicle.
455
00:17:27,132 --> 00:17:28,514
- ew, my god.
- no, no, it's okay.
456
00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:29,504
Whatever happens,
It's okay.
457
00:17:29,504 --> 00:17:31,738
I don't want to die alone
And now i don't have to
458
00:17:31,928 --> 00:17:32,896
Because...
459
00:17:34,628 --> 00:17:37,012
I'm in love
With my mother's nurse.
460
00:17:38,310 --> 00:17:40,269
Now you have what
Me and angie have,
461
00:17:40,269 --> 00:17:41,645
Minus the hypertension.
462
00:17:41,681 --> 00:17:43,831
Jack, slow down.
Have you been to a doctor?
463
00:17:43,831 --> 00:17:45,282
I'm waiting for
The results of a biopsy.
464
00:17:45,282 --> 00:17:46,373
We went to this picnic.
465
00:17:46,373 --> 00:17:48,251
Lemon, have you ever had
Apiragua?
466
00:17:48,385 --> 00:17:51,425
It's exactly like a snow cone
Except they call it apiragua.
467
00:17:54,354 --> 00:17:55,490
It's my doctor's office.
468
00:17:56,544 --> 00:17:58,029
- you take it.
- no, jack.
469
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:00,437
I'll do it
470
00:18:02,688 --> 00:18:03,376
Hello?
471
00:18:04,127 --> 00:18:04,713
Yes.
472
00:18:05,408 --> 00:18:06,042
Okay.
473
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:07,787
Thank you.
474
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:10,924
The test was positive.
475
00:18:11,607 --> 00:18:12,614
No, no, no, no--
476
00:18:12,615 --> 00:18:14,750
I mean positive
Like it's good.
477
00:18:15,167 --> 00:18:16,752
The test results
Were negative.
478
00:18:18,699 --> 00:18:20,043
Oh, i see your confusion.
479
00:18:20,451 --> 00:18:21,409
That is funny!
480
00:18:25,027 --> 00:18:26,173
- okay.
- funny!
481
00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,705
Jack thought the test results
Was positive!
482
00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:31,444
Supersonic idiotic
483
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:32,740
Disconnected not respected
484
00:18:32,740 --> 00:18:34,676
Who would ever really want
To go and top that
485
00:18:34,676 --> 00:18:35,523
Top that
486
00:18:37,373 --> 00:18:38,027
Thank you.
487
00:18:38,546 --> 00:18:41,206
That was the rap song"top that"
From the movieteen witch.
488
00:18:41,569 --> 00:18:44,267
Once again, i apologize
That our regular warm-up comic
489
00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:46,215
O.d.ed at a gay man's
Apartment this morning.
490
00:18:46,411 --> 00:18:47,342
30 seconds.
491
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:51,592
I've decid to go
To the bridge tomorrow.
492
00:18:51,968 --> 00:18:52,982
You've inspired me.
493
00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:55,727
What if this experience
Hasn't changed me?
494
00:18:56,204 --> 00:18:58,117
Maybe everything
I was feeling for elisa
495
00:18:58,117 --> 00:18:59,983
Was just neediness
And fear.
496
00:19:00,671 --> 00:19:04,935
I mean, can two people fall in love
Over a benign gonad cyst?
497
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:05,696
Why not?
498
00:19:05,696 --> 00:19:06,886
It's not about
Where things start.
499
00:19:06,886 --> 00:19:08,097
It's about where it goes.
500
00:19:08,097 --> 00:19:09,258
Tracy told me that.
501
00:19:09,623 --> 00:19:10,540
He's kind of on a roll.
502
00:19:10,808 --> 00:19:11,721
Ladies and gentlemen,
503
00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,709
Miss janet jopler!
504
00:19:14,409 --> 00:19:15,046
Who?
505
00:19:15,046 --> 00:19:16,316
Until we get the life rights,
506
00:19:16,316 --> 00:19:17,572
We have to
Protect ourselves.
507
00:19:18,178 --> 00:19:19,975
I'd like you to come on
508
00:19:20,411 --> 00:19:21,533
Come on
509
00:19:22,075 --> 00:19:24,791
Come on and take it
510
00:19:24,791 --> 00:19:28,834
Take another little chunk
Of my lung now, mister
511
00:19:29,157 --> 00:19:31,261
Also, we didn't get the songs.
512
00:19:31,261 --> 00:19:32,790
I wrote this myself
Five minutes ago.
513
00:19:32,889 --> 00:19:34,980
You know you bought it
514
00:19:34,980 --> 00:19:38,632
If life makes you
Sweet food
515
00:19:38,964 --> 00:19:40,138
Now this i like.
516
00:19:49,129 --> 00:19:50,059
Waiting for someone?
517
00:19:50,531 --> 00:19:51,134
What?
518
00:19:51,476 --> 00:19:52,325
What do you think
You're doing?
519
00:19:52,530 --> 00:19:53,321
Oh, i'm so sorry!
520
00:19:53,435 --> 00:19:54,581
I thought he was someone else.
521
00:19:57,998 --> 00:19:58,969
Liz.
522
00:19:59,495 --> 00:20:00,252
Wh--
523
00:20:00,539 --> 00:20:01,900
Shut it down!
524
00:20:17,641 --> 00:20:18,547
Chunk of my lung
525
00:20:18,547 --> 00:20:20,204
Chunk of my lung
526
00:20:20,204 --> 00:20:21,862
And take it
527
00:20:21,862 --> 00:20:25,762
Take a big ol' chunk
Of my lung now baby
528
00:20:26,610 --> 00:20:27,744
Take it
529
00:20:27,744 --> 00:20:29,967
Take a big old chunk
Of my lung
530
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:31,716
Chunk of my lung
531
00:20:32,892 --> 00:20:35,166
You know you bought it
532
00:20:35,271 --> 00:20:37,795
If you buy it with things
533
00:20:38,048 --> 00:20:39,912
welcome to www.1000fr.com
36993
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof