All language subtitles for The.Nanny.S06E19.WEBRip.x264-ION10-eng

Oh, Val, I am sitting on
a secret for over a week now

and I cannot tell a living soul.

[sighs]

-Good cake.
-Niles and Ms. Babcock
are having an affair.

[gasps]

-With who?
-With each other.

So where are they now?

Well, he was called out of town

for this big family reunion
in London

and she said she'd take him
to the airport in the limo.

In the back,

because all of a sudden
she was in need

of duty-free L'air Du Temps.

Hello, hello.

-Hi, Ms. Babcock.
-Hi, Ms. Babcock.

Um, Ms. Babcock,

did Niles get off okay?

Yes.

Oh, Nanny Fine,
would you please tell Maxwell

that there's a crack in
the privacy glass in the limo.

It looks to me
like someone's heel
went through it.

Oy, the limo.

Oh, I feel so bad
for Ms. Babcock.

These are the moments
that you wanna share
with someone close to you.

-Yeah.
-You know, like your mother.

Ma.

Maggie, I have something
to tell you.

I got that modeling campaign
in Japan.

Oh, congratulations.

What I'm about to say
your parents aren't gonna like.

But I have to leave
in less than five days

and I can't stand
the thought of us

being apart for a whole year.

So, Maggie...

will you marry me?

-Yes!
-No!

[theme song playing]

♪She was working
In a bridal shop
In Flushing, Queens

♪Till her boyfriend
Kicked her out

♪In one of those
Crushing scenes

♪What was she to do?
Where was she to go?

♪She was out on her fanny

♪So over the bridge
From Flushing
To the Sheffield's door

♪She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more

♪She had style! She had
flair!
She was there!

♪That's how she became
The Nanny

♪Who would have guessed
That the girl we described

♪Was just exactly
What the doctor
prescribed?

♪Now, the father
Finds her beguiling

♪Watch out C.C.!

♪And the kids
Are actually smiling

♪Such joie de vivre

♪She's the lady in red

♪When everybody else
Is wearing tan

♪The flashy girl
From Flushing

♪The Nanny named Fran!

This boy just asked my daughter
to marry him.

What do you mean "yes"?

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.

I didn't mean to say yes
before you.

It's just that it's in my DNA.

I hear a marriage proposal,
I have to accept.

Look, Margaret is entirely
too young to get married.

Why? I was just about her age
when we got married.

Well, all right,
I should have been her age
when we got married.

Excuse me, but this is
a very important moment
in my life.

Could we have privacy?

-No.
-Yes.

Fine.

I love you, Michael,
and I would love to marry you.

Oh, my God.

-Oh, my God.
-What's wrong?

Come see the ring my son-in-law,
the Jewish model,

gave my daughter.

Oh, my God.

No one's getting married.

You're getting married?

Oy, I have never been this thin
in a wedding photo before.

How fast can you do it?

We got five days
to plan the wedding.

There is no wedding.

Are ostrich feathers
politically correct after dark?

-Excuse me.
-Oh, look at that ring.

-We have to get dresses.
-I don't wanna sit
next to her cousin.

Excuse me.

I haven't finished here.

Oh, sorry, honey. Keep talking.
We're listening.

-What--
-I think that we should have

a make-your-own
Belgian waffle bar.

-Is that perfect?
-Ooh!

What are you talking about?

There isn't gonna be a wedding.
Will you come back here
and discuss this?

Where are you going?
Get back here.

I have not finished with this.

What's all the noise about?

I'm marrying your sister.
But actually, Fran said yes

and your grandmother left
with the ring on,

and no one's letting
your father talk.

Welcome to the mishpachah, bro.

[music playing]

Margaret, you haven't even been
seeing this boy for a year.

How about a cupid fountain
that pees mimosa?

Ooh!

Oh, the Schwartzburgs
had that at the bris.

It was very unique.

[sighs]

-I need some air.
-You know, that doesn't work.
Give it here.

Dad, I don't understand.

First you're upset
because Michael and I
wanna move in together

and then you're upset
because we wanna get married?

Excuse me.

-Val?
-Uh-huh.

I'm a little bit nauseous.

Do you have any
soda crackers or anything?

Well, I got some Cap'n Crunch
in the glove compartment.

-Honey, could you get some?
-Oh, here, use this.

-I thought you said
it didn't work.
-On the window,

but it's perfect to pry open
the glove compartment.

How about a caricaturist
for the wedding?

Oh, that's so tacky, Ma.

Can we just stick with
the cupid peeing?

Well, I'm sorry, but I don't see
a box of Cap'n Crunch in here.

Oh, no, they're not in a box.
They're loose.

Here. Take these.

Now, I've had enough.
I am the head of this household.

And as such,
I have a say in the future
of my eldest daughter.

This will not be rushed into.

There will be no wedding.
End of discussion.

Oh, you are going to make
such a beautiful bride.

This is a knockoff of the dress
Melissa Rivers almost bought.

[together] Ooh!

Oh, Fran, what are we gonna do
about Daddy?

He was so upset when Val
dropped him off at the theater.

Oh, sweetie.

It's been my experience
with your father

that he just needs time
to think about it

and then he changes his mind.

Fathers are always devastated

when their little girls
get married.

But your father was happy.

I said little girls.

[sighs]

-Fran?
-Yeah?

I remember the first time
you brought Maggie in.

You were just the nanny
and I was working here
behind the counter.

-Yeah.
-Now you're married,

you got a whole family

and I work at a doughnut shop

six blocks closer
to the bus stop.

When you wish upon a star.

It's so fancy.
Everyone will look at me.

So? They'll think
you're a beautiful girl.

I don't know.
I'm not good at this
like you are.

Honey, that's what I'm here for.

What do you think?
You turn 14 and boom,

you've got the savoir faire
and sophistication

of a woman of my years
and experience?

Look, when I was 14...

Oh, go try it on.

Who knew this job would be
so demanding?

Please, I'm exhausted.

Oh, sweetie, what's wrong?

I'm just so happy

that I got married before her.

Oh. Sure. Yeah.

Do you think it would take away
from the bride if I wore this?

[music playing]

Hi, sweetie.

I knew you were upset,

so I made you
a little chocolate pudding.

You made it?

Well, I made it to Zabar's
before they closed.

Oh, sweetie.

You have no idea
how your disapproving
of the wedding

upsets Maggie.

I mean, can you imagine
how upset I would be

if my parents disapproved of me
marrying you?

I mean, in a world gone mad.

Yes, but it just doesn't seem
right to me.

I mean, she's not ready.

Well, it seems right to her.

And if you would just
stop yelling at her

and try listening to her,

I think that you would know
what it feels like.

I can't. I can't talk to her.

She'll just look at me
with those eyes of hers

and I can't refuse her anything.

Honey.

That's exactly what
we're counting on.

Oh, hi, honey.
Look who's out here.

Sweetie, why don't you sit down,
talk to your father

and I'm gonna go
check on dinner.

Gracie, how's it coming?

Daddy, I know you're upset,

but I don't think
you really understand

how Michael and I
feel about each other.

Sweetheart, how can you be sure?

You haven't known him
long enough.

Didn't you know
the moment you saw Fran?

Yes, but we both wanted to wait
the proper amount of time.

Fran wanted to wait?

Dad, why wait when you know?

I mean, it's like
when you read a script

and you just know that
it's gonna be a hit.

I mean, except for when
you passed onCats...

-because that was kind of--
-Yes, yes. All right,
no need to rehash.

Well, Daddy, can't you see
that Michael is myCats?

Please, just don't let me pass
on this one.

[music playing]

You're really in love,
aren't you?

So much.

You know, I love you too, Daddy.

And I love you, sweetheart.

And you're gonna make
a beautiful bride.

[music continues]

Thank you for inviting me
to your wedding, Maggie.

Yetta, I'm--

[mumbles]

Did you hear about Ms. Babcock
and the male maid?

What are you talking about?

Well, Franny and her husband
walked in on them

when they were doing
the horizontal hora.

Where? Kitchen, closet,
stairway, limo?

Walmart?

Walmart, huh?

Well, if they dig the danger
of getting caught,

they should try the aluminum
sheds at Home Depot.

Fran, everything looks
so beautiful.

It's exactly how I pictured it.

Oh, sweetie,
remember all those times

you'd come down these stairs

holding the flowers
from the foyer,

making believe you were a bride?

That was you, Fran.

Niles. They saw us.

No. No. No.

No, what does it matter where?

The important thing is
when you get back,

I need to pick up something
at Home Depot.

-[bell dings]
-Oh, honey, that's Michael.

You can't let him see you
before the wedding.

-It's bad luck.
Go put some makeup on.
-It's on.

Well, put some more.
You're taking pictures
with my family.

You're gonna disappear next to
the cast of Ringling Bros.

-Hi, sweetie.
-Hey.

[kisses]

Let me take your coat.
Come on in.

Hello, Dad.

Hello, son,

who's taking my daughter away.

I just wanna let you know that
I love your daughter very much.

I am gonna take
such good care of her.

I'm sure you will.

I've always dreamt
of having my daughter
marry an underpants model.

Oh, look. "Mr. and Mrs. Brolin."

Yeah, it's my cousin James.

James Brolin?

Oh, boy, if his wife's name
is Barbra,

they can really have fun
with that.

His wife's name is Barbra.

Oh, do they really have fun
with that?

I don't know,
they just got married.

-In July?
-Yeah.

-In Malibu, California?
-Yeah.

-Were her photos in People?
-Uh-huh.

-And they're coming here?
-In, like, 10 minutes.

They wanted to get here early
'cause they have to leave early.

She's got a 9:00 flight.

[gasps] Oh, my God.

Oh, my daughter
is marrying a boy

whose cousin
is married to Barbra.

My dreams are finally
coming true.

I'm going to be a Streisand.

Maxwell.

-Maxwell.
-What, darling?

Barbra Streisand
is coming to my house and...

-And...
-And what, darling?

I think I'm going into labor.

What? Oh, my God.

Someone, pack a suitcase.
Quick. It's time.

Sweetheart, we have to get you
to a hospital.

No. No. The pain is not that...

[groaning]

Bad.

No, darling, we're going
to the hospital.

-No. No. I don't wanna go.
-Come on.

-I don't wanna go.
-Come on.

I'll have them over here.
It'll be fine.

Please. Honey, not today.

Barbra's married to Dr. Kiley
fromMarcus Welby.

He'll know what to do.

All right, I got her makeup bag

but someone else is gonna have
to get her clothes.

Yetta, would you let
everyone know that
Fran's doing just fine.

The doctor's in
with her right now.

It turns out
it was a false alarm.

Fran.

She's pregnant.

Yes, well, of course
I'm the father.

Well, because I just know,
that's how.

Yetta, would you put someone
else on the phone, please?

Mrs. Sheffield, it seems you had

some unusually strong
Braxton Hicks contractions.

It's very common for women
over 35 under stress.

Have you been stressed
about anything recently?

You mean, besides the fact
that you think I'm over 35?

Nothing to worry about.
You're in no danger.

But you do seem
a little agitated.

Yeah, well, you would be too

if Barbra Streisand
was at your house
at this very moment

and had to leave
in less than two hours.

Who?

Oh, my God.

Darling, darling, what is it?

He does not know
who Barbra Streisand is.

Sweetheart,
I've just spoken to your mother.

The guests are gonna
enjoy their dinner

but we're gonna postpone
the ceremony until tomorrow.

But what about Barbra?
What about Barbra?

She's enjoying herself
thoroughly.

She's singing.

Barbra Streisand is singing
in my house?

Mrs. Sheffield, I'm sorry,

but you've got to
remain here overnight.

But you said
that I wasn't in any danger.

I want to play it safe.
I'd prefer if you stay
off your feet.

You know, the doctor's
absolutely right, sweetheart.

What you need is
a calming environment.

What could be more calming than
Streisand singing 'Evergreen'?

'Evergreen.'
That's Barbra Streisand.

My uncle's her dentist
in California.

I've met her.

Oh, my God.

It's six degrees of aggravation.

Okay, he's gone.

-Get my dress, get my purse.
-No. Darling, darling,
no, no, no.

I want you in that bed.

You know, honey,

if you said that ordinarily,
it would be a big turn-on.

But right now,
get out of my way.

Sweetheart, you'll just have to
see Barbra another time.

Come on, you've waited
this long.

What you need right now
is to stay calm

and not get over excited.

-But, honey--
-No buts.

-I want you to stay in that bed.
-But, Max--

Do you understand me?

Yes.

And you know I'm right?

-Yes.
-Yes.

I'm sorry, honey.
I know that I'm acting childish.

I'll spend the night here
like they want me to.

And I'll be right here
by your side.

Oh, sweetie, I love you.
You're such a good husband.

You're so busy
taking care of me.

Meanwhile, when was
the last time you even ate?

Oh, I don't know.
I had some breakfast
this morning.

Matter of fact,
I'm a little peckish.

Why don't I pop out,
bring us both back some dinner?

-Okay.
-What are you in the mood for?

Whatever you're in the mood for.

Well, I could go for a burger.

Really? You couldn't go
for Chinese?

I could go for Chinese.

You too?

-I'll be right back.
-Okay.

I love you.

You're the best husband

in the whole wide world.

But I'm a person
who needs people.

And in about 10 minutes,

I am going to be
one of the luckiest people
in the world.

[music playing]

Hello, gorgeous.

Barbra?

Barbra?

Barbra, can you hear me?

[phone ringing]

-Hello, hello?
-[Maxwell]Sweetheart?

Oh, hi, honey.

Uh, are you mad at me
because I ran out?

[Maxwell]Not half as mad as
you're gonna be with yourself.

Why?

Because when I called home,

I arranged a little surprise
for you.

♪Even our piano

♪In the parlor

♪Daddy bought for ten cents

♪On the dollar

[all together]
♪Everyone knows that I'm just
Second hand Rose

[singing]

[music playing]

And do you, Maggie,

take Michael to be
your lawfully wedded husband?

-I do.
-[sobbing]

Oh, Niles,
I really wish you could be here.

You should see
how beautiful Maggie looks.

Yes, everybody is using
the coasters.

Here's Ms. Babcock.

Normally,
at this point in the ceremony,

I like to say a few words
about the couple

embarking on their life.

But I think the sentiments
were best expressed by Barbra

who just last night
stood right here

and sang 'What Are You Doing
the Rest of Your Life?'

She sang that too?

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

[Sylvia sobbing]

[cheering]

['Wedding March'
playing on piano]

Oh, wasn't it beautiful, Mama?

-Beautiful.
-Oh, yes.

Is Barbra's voice
as flawless in person?

Well, actually,
it was a little tired

after singing
the score ofFunny Girl

and six new songs
from her next album.

I'm so glad that I'm pregnant.

Why?

It's the only thing that's
keeping me from killing myself.

Oh, Val, I am sitting on
such a huge secret

for over a week now.

But I cannot tell a living soul.

[sighs]

Good cake.

Val...

-Good cake.
-Niles and Ms. Babcock
are having an affair.

[gasps]

-With who?
-With each other.

I don't know the line.

When are they seeing...
When are they...

[man] "So where are they now?"

Oh, God.

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]