Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪♪

Rick: Christine.

Rick? What are you doing here?

Your vacation isn't for another month.

Well, I'm not on vacation.

I'm here on assignment with Mr. Harrison.

I've just been made his assistant.

Assistant to a vice president?

-Yep. -Well, congratulations.

Thanks.

Um, if this briefcase is full of work,

you're in for a busy trip.

Well, not too busy to, uh, get to see each other,

if you think there might be a chance.

Well, that's very sweet,

but I told you over a year ago that I happen to be involved.

But, uh, just thought you were traveling alone, that's all.

I am traveling alone, but I'm still involved.

No law against that, is there?

Bye.

Uh, Tucker, there you are.

I was waiting for you on deck.

Mr. Harrison, I just ran into somebody from the company --

Christine Burton from payroll, do you know her?

2,000 employees -- I can't be expected to know everyone.

You're lucky I know you, Tucker.

Now, check on my luggage for me, will you?

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

[ Telephone ringing ]

That's a pretty bracelet you're wearing, miss.

I have a generous friend.

Your generous friend has excellent taste.

And cares for you very, very much.

Have a nice cruise.

Bye-bye.

-Hi. -Hi.

I'm gopher Smith. Welcome aboard.

May I have your nurse, please? Your name?

My name is Herbert Chandler.

Nice to see you.

I'm Donna maloney.

You know something?

You and I have a lot in common.

I'm the purser.

You're the nurser.

Cruise brochure said there was entertainment.

I pray that wasn't a sample.

-Mr. Chandler, I believe? -Yes.

Your travel agent notified us.

I'm Adam bricker, the ship's doctor.

Another doctor.

And you must be Mr. Chandler's nurse.

I just want you to know the medical facilities

aboard are completely at your disposal.

Night or day, just call me.

Thank you.

I don't suppose you've noticed, doctor,

but I'm the one in the wheelchair.

Of course.

Just trying to help.

After years of observation, I've found that doctor's

can help their patients most by staying away from them.

Miss maloney, please take me to my cabin.

Good day, sir. -Good day.

You know, gopher, whenever I see a dedicated nurse like that,

I just feel it's my professional duty

to spend as much of my time as possible helping her.

I know what you mean, doc.

And I feel it's my professional duty

to spend a lot of my time helping you help her.

[ Foghorn blows ]

♪♪

Julie: Oh!

It is him.

It's Colin Crawford.

I've got to meet him.

Oh, wait till I tell my friends back home.

You're welcome.

Oh, thanks.

I needed that. -Sure.

Julie, we've had movie stars aboard before.

Oh, but never a movie star

that I've been in love with ever since high school.

I'm his number-one fan.

Oh, I have so many questions to ask him.

Oh, hello.

Well, welcome aboard, Mr. Crawford.

I'm captain stubing,

and this is our cruise director, Julie McCoy.

Ah, congratulations, captain.

Everything about your ship is so beautiful.

Perfume -- tout le monde?

My favorite.

Oh, this is my, uh, secretary, Gina.

-How do you do? -Hello.

Captain, I have a lot of work to do.

Would it be possible to have a typewriter sent to my cabin?

Well, I'm sure our purser can handle that.

Thank you.

She's so efficient.

Well, thank you again, captain.

Looking forward to a very enjoyable voyage.

For a number-one fan, you didn't say very much.

Where are you going?

To have this bronzed.

[ Chuckles ]

Hiya.

Hi.

Having fun?

Doing nothing but relaxing and I love it.

Think we could have dinner together?

Thanks, but I plan on spending the evening in my cabin,

and I'm really aboard for a rest.

Well, Tucker.

I thought you'd be hard at work by now.

Well, I was waiting for you, sir.

Uh, I ran into Christine here,

and we got to talking.

Uh, right, I don't believe you know each other.

Uh, Mr. Harrison, this is Christine Burton --

you know, the lady I told you about from payroll?

My pleasure, miss Burton.

Thank you, Mr. Harrison.

Well, I'm ready to work if you are, sir.

Ah, well, in that event, I'll tell you what you do.

You go down to my cabin,

make sure that all your pencils are sharpened,

and I should be there in, uh, about an hour.

Tucker.

I'll see you in an hour.

So, if I'm not there in an hour, he can start without me.

[ Chuckles ]

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Is it true that when he made "love me in Paris,"

he had a hot affair with his leading lady?

He was hot.

He had a temperature of 102 during most of the filming --

a reoccurrence of his malaria.

Oh, that's right.

He got it on location shooting "loves of a pirate king."

You seem to know more about him than I do,

and i'm his private secretary.

Excuse me.

Ah, Julie McCoy, the young lady who doesn't speak.

Oh, well, you see, whenever I see you in person,

my mouth just stops working.

Well, from what I see,

everything seems to be working just fine.

This young lady is your biggest fan.

That's right -- I even wrote you a letter once,

but I guess you wouldn't remember.

Let me see.

You asked me to send you a picture, I believe.

You do remember.

Oh, you must get hundreds of letters from ladies like me.

You found me out.

Mr. Crawford, you better finish reading your script.

The studio's waiting to hear from you.

Ah, yes -- business, business, business.

I've been invited to eat at the captain's table this evening.

I know.

But I won't go unless you join me.

I'll be there.

Okay.

Gopher, if she has dinner with me,

at least we'll have something to talk about.

She's a nurse. I'm a doctor.

Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that, doc.

Donna and I probably have a lot to talk about.

She's a nurse. I've been a patient.

Adenoids when I was 6.

They didn't think I'd make it.

Hi.

How's our favorite patient getting along?

And our favorite nurse?

I'm fine, doctor.

Oh, would you get me some more lemonade?

Oh, here -- let me give you a hand.

-No, no, no, no, I'll get that. -No, I'll get it.

-Doc, you said I could -- -i know what you said,

but I said I'll get it. -Hold it, hold it.

Now, here's what we're going to do.

Doctor, you take the pitcher.

Mr. Smith, you take the glass.

Miss maloney, you take me.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Slow music playing ]

Christine, I figured it out.

-Figured what out? -It's not an accident

that the two of us are on this cruise together.

-It's not? -Unh-unh.

No, it's, uh, fate.

Uh, Rick, why don't you give

another girl on this ship a break?

Fate has already supplied me with one man in my life.

No, look, that -- that doesn't make sense.

I mean, no guy lets his girlfriend go on a vacation

alone unless he's an idiot or he's married.

Well, you're half right.

His IQ is over 150.

Married?

Well, it's not as bad as it sounds.

We're very much in love.

And he's getting a divorce, and we're gonna get married.

Make sense to you now?

Well, if you mean does that make me want to give up,

the answer to that question is no.

No.

Not until you've tied the knot.

Look, I'm gonna ask Mr. Harrison

if you can join us for dinner tonight.

Um, well, if that's all right with Mr. Harrison.

Well, he may not like it at first

because he's here to work, but I'll convince him.

Well, um... If you can talk him into it.

♪♪

Mr. Crawford, I've read where some actors

do their own stunts in their pictures.

Do you do your own stunts?

Yes, I do, captain.

I never used a double for any of my dangerous kissing scenes.

Even when I had chapped lips.

[ Chuckles ]

Mr. Crawford, have you ever fallen in love

with one of your leading ladies?

No, I haven't, Vicki.

But then again, you've never been my co-star.

[ Chuckles ]

I don't know how you do it.

If I had your job,

I'd just stare at him all day long and breathe hard.

It's all in a day's work.

How can you concentrate?

Simple -- I'm married and very happily.

Well, working with Colin Crawford all day,

your husband must be something special.

He's wonderful, but it's just a job.

"Just a job"?

You want to trade?

[ Chuckles ]

See, now, isn't this better than eating alone?

You know, when I asked Mr. Harrison

if you could join us, you know what he said?

He said, "I insist."

To a very thoughtful boss.

Yeah, right.

I do my best to keep our employees...

Totally satisfied.

[ Chuckles ] All 2,000 of them.

And you manage so well.

Good employee relations are the first thing

in Mr. Harrison's book.

Isn't that right, sir?

Well said, Tucker.

And here you are, Mr. Chandler.

You don't have to say "here you are, Mr. Chandler."

I know where I am.

Yes, sir. I'm sure you do.

Donna, I'm delighted you could have dinner with me tonight.

Aren't you just as delighted that I could have dinner

with you tonight, Mr. Smith?

Of course I am, Mr. Chandler.

And to show you how delighted I am,

why don't you just call me gopher?

The reason I don't call you gopher

is because gopher is a very silly name.

Yes, sir.

Uh, Donna, would you like to go dancing after dinner?

Yes, she would, but with me.

Well, I love to dance,

but I have to be with Mr. Chandler.

Well, why don't you go dancing if that's what you like, Donna.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Chandler.

I'll take you back to your cabin before we go.

Yes, we'll all take you back to your cabin, Mr. Chandler.

It would be a pleasure to take you

back to your cabin, Mr. Chandler.

No, it won't.

I'm going with you.

♪♪

♪♪

You certainly are generous to your fans.

Thank you.

Would my favorite fan care to dance?

I would love to.

Mr. Crawford, it's getting late.

I think I'll go to my cabin.

Oh, and I promised the ship's photographer that he

could get some more shots of you in the morning.

Thank you, Gina.

Uh, if there's anything else you want...

No, just leave my usual call for 6:30 A.M.

I already have. Goodnight.

-Goodnight. -Goodnight, Gina.

6:30 A.M.?

Our photographer isn't up at that hour.

Why should you be?

Oh, I have my usual little routines --

sit-ups, jogging.

It's a lot of hard work to make it look

as though it all comes naturally.

Well, it looks great to me.

[ Chuckles ]

We're lucky Mr. Harrison decided to go to bed early.

Gives you and me the rest of the evening together.

Well, Rick, it's been fun,

but I'm feeling a little tired myself.

Oh, I thought we'd take

a little walk on the deck or something.

Well, the truth is, I'm very tired.

Oh.

Well, I guess tomorrow's another day.

No, I-I don't think so.

Tomorrow's not another day?

-Gopher. -Hmm?

I'm beginning to feel a little bit guilty

about neglecting Mr. Chandler.

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that if I were you.

The way they're hitting it off,

i bet you they'll be gabbing away for hours.

You like to dance, Mr. Chandler?

What kind of a question is that to ask of a man in a wheelchair?

I mean, of course, after you've recover.

Your accident, I understand, was seven months ago.

You had multiple fractures?

That's right.

It's none of my business of course,

but, uh, it's a little unusual to be

in a wheelchair so long after injuries like that.

You're right. It is none of your business.

And if you have any more questions,

they're none of your business, either.

♪♪

Do you remember the way that one ended?

There was you and the girl on the cliffs

overlooking the ocean with the waves crashing

and the wind blowing in her hair.

I remember she turned to you and said,

[ French accent ] "Francois, is this the end?

Will I never see you again?"

Very good. Very good.

Have you ever thought about acting?

[ Normal voice ] Oh, the only acting I ever did

was in grade school.

I played a carrot.

You must have made a lovely carrot.

[ Chuckles ]

Go on, you seem to know all the words.

No, you're embarrassing me.

I'll tell you what. Come over here.

Okay, just stand on this Mark right there.

This can be your key light.

[ Chuckles ]

Camera.

Action.

[ French accent ] Oh, francois,

how can I face tomorrow without you?

[ French accent ] Let's not think of tomorrow, Marguerite.

We still have tonight.

Francois, you want the moment.

I want forever.

This moment is our forever.

But will you leave me with nothing to remember you by?

Only this.

[ Normal voice ] This is where you kissed her.

♪♪

Colin.

[ Sighs ]

[ Sighs ]

[ Groans ]

Mr. Chandler!

Let me help you.

[ Groans ]

Are you all right?

Yes, I -- I'm fine.

Thank you. Just -- just fine.

That could have been a nasty fall.

Let me do that for you.

Well, here we are.

Are you sure you're all right?

You, uh, don't want to see our doctor?

I've just been with your doctor, captain.

I certainly don't need him.

But I thank you for your help.

I-I'm fine, believe me.

Well, if there's anything you want,

just pick up the phone and it's yours.

I will. Thank you, and goodnight, captain.

Goodnight.

♪ ...are two of the things that I love ♪

Hi.

Rick, what are you doing?

Can't say goodnight without a nightcap.

What do you say?

A bottle of Isaac's very best bubbly.

Won't you ever give up?

No, not until after you're married.

Rick, I'm not on this cruise alone.

Huh?

You see, I told you some of the truth,

but not all of the truth.

My friend is on the trip.

Matter of fact, he's in my cabin now.

That's why I can't invite you in for a drink.

Aw, come on. You're putting me on.

Come on, I'm not that easy to get rid of.

Just what does it take to get rid of you, Tucker?

Mr. Harrison?

Go to bed, Tucker.

♪♪

Gina, you're still up.

We have to talk.

Well, can't it wait until morning?

I saw you kissing that girl.

Oh, Gina, Julie and I were just acting out

the last scene from "the pirates of maracaibo."

She knows all the dialogue and everything.

She's quite a fan.

I suppose you were acting out the bedroom scenes, too.

Now, you know me better than that.

Do I?

I was just trying to please an admirer, that's all.

You've gone too far this time, Colin.

I do believe you're upset.

And why shouldn't I be? I'm your wife.

Good morning.

That island off our port side is one of the cedros islands,

an area rich in marine life.

Keep your eyes open, and you're bound to see

whales and dolphins frolicking in the waves.

And don't forget our scrumptious breakfast

on the lido deck. -Hi.

Hello.

Still talking to me?

[ Scoffs ]

I guess I better.

After all, you're the boss's girlfriend.

Well, I suppose I deserved that.

But I did tell you he was getting a divorce

and that he was gonna marry me.

Yeah, you just left out the part about him being Mr. Harrison.

Sorry.

You know, I guess I only have one thing

to say to you, miss Burton.

What's that?

Congratulations.

Do you mean that?

Why wouldn't I mean that?

It makes me a friend of the boss's wife.

Gina, you haven't said a word this morning.

I have nothing to say.

Look, I told you, we were just acting.

It didn't mean anything.

Now, look.

That's it. You're jealous.

But you know what they say --

jealousy's good for a marriage.

With what I saw, I have every right to be jealous.

The way you were holding that woman

and kissing her passionately.

It was nothing.

Why don't you believe me?

Maybe because I knew someday this was bound to happen,

what with my pretending to be your secretary

and you acting free as a bird.

-Gina. -No, Colin.

This arrangement of ours,

it's like sitting on a time bomb.

Nonsense.

That's easy for you to say.

But if isn't Julie McCoy, who knows?

Maybe it'll be that bosomy little starlet

in your next film, or that cute waitress.

Look, I resent your accusations.

And I'm an honorable man.

Yes, you are.

You're perfect.

And you want every woman in the world to remind you of it.

Julie: Good morning.

Ah, good morning, Julie.

I hope you haven't forgotten that this is the morning

I'm taking you on a special tour of the ship.

How could I forget?

Oh, good.

Unless you're busy.

Oh, no, no, no.

My, uh, secretary can take care of the business.

Great.

Excuse me.

Got a couple of cabins on --

-uh, merrill. -Adam?

I just examined Mr. Chandler's leg.

There were no apparent injuries from the fall.

Well, that's certainly a relief.

No, but I'm confused.

I could only give him a cursory examination,

but, uh, muscle tone and reflexes are fine.

From all appearances, Mr. Chandler

could be jogging around the deck.

Well, then, what's he doing in a wheelchair?

Maybe it's a scam.

Maybe he's trying to knock off his insurance company.

That's really none of our business.

Our business is simply to make certain that he didn't

hurt himself while on our ship.

I know, but the curious doctor in me

still wonders why a man stays

in his wheelchair when he doesn't have to.

The curious man in me wonders the same thing.

♪♪

Buenos dias, amigos mios.

This is it, acapulco --

world-renown haven for honeymooners, vacationers,

and just plain jet-setters.

Tours can be arranged at the desk in the purser's lobby.

♪♪

Oh, Gina, I'm so glad you're here.

-Are you? -Yes, I was wondering

if we could talk, woman to woman.

What is it, miss McCoy?

Oh, please, call me Julie.

Well, it's about -- who else --

the world's greatest lover, Colin Crawford.

Of course.

I've grown very fond of Colin.

And the feeling is mutual?

Yes... I think so.

A woman senses these things.

Yes, she does.

Well, I'd like to get him something special,

and since you know him better than anyone else,

I thought I'd ask you what he might like.

Well, there's something you should know about Mr. Crawford.

Oh, I know -- that there's nothing

I could get the man that has everything.

-No. -Well, then, what is it?

You see, Mr. Crawford...

That is, he gets so many gifts from his admirers.

Oh, I can imagine --

the world's most eligible bachelor.

And he is charming, handsome, and worldly.

Any woman would give him anything he wanted.

I'd like to see something around his neck.

A gold chain. That's it.

I don't know why I didn't think of it.

Thank you, Gina.

You wanted to see me, sir?

Ah, yes.

Get the purser to cash this check, will you?

I want you to go shopping for me in acapulco.

Shopping for what, sir?

I want you to buy a special gift for a special lady.

Oh.

I think something in, um, Mexican silver.

She loves the stuff.

Um, earrings might be nice -- perhaps set with turquoise.

Here, let me, um --

let me make out a card that you can put with it.

"To the one who is always there when I need her,

my endless devotion."

You like that, Tucker?

Very nice, sir.

No, I think perhaps I should add a few words

concerning our future together.

"One wonderful 20 years deserves another."

20 years, sir?

There you go, Tucker.

Mr. Harrison, the card here says

"my darling Francine." -Well, of course it does.

I'm sending you to buy

an anniversary present for my wife.

You are?

You see something wrong in that, Tucker?

Well, no, sir. No, sir. Nothing at all.

It's certainly nice that you still care enough about her

to write something like this, even though

you're gonna be divorcing her to marry miss Burton.

Divorcing my wife? Where'd you hear that?

Well, sir, Christine told me that you told her --

oh, y-yes, well... [ Chuckles ]

I think, um -- I think it's time, Tucker,

that you grew up.

You see, I told miss Burton the same thing

that I told miss Shaw two summers ago.

-Miss Shaw in office services? -That's right.

And before her, there was miss, um, Thompson.

In public relations.

But, sir -- -i know.

I'm a regular, little, old heartbreaker.

Now, just be sure you remember

to put that card with my wife's gift.

You know, Tucker, someday,

when you've worked your way up to the executive suite,

you'll find a few little cuties of your own.

One little cutie would be enough for me, sir.

♪♪

"Jason saw the shadow fall on the stairs

and was gripped with terror.

His heart pounded in his mouth, as he reached for the poker."

Isn't this exciting?

Apparently not.

Doc: Donna.

Hi, Donna.

Donna, I want to ask you something.

When was the last time Mr. Chandler saw his doctor?

I don't know. Quite some time ago.

His brother's his doctor. Why?

Is there a problem?

Well, I don't know if there's a problem,

but I know there's a question.

I think he should be able to walk.

You must be mistaken, doctor.

If he could walk, why wouldn't he?

Yeah, that's the question.

I just can't believe he'd stay in that wheelchair

if he didn't have to.

He seems to hate it.

Could be, but I still think he can walk.

Well, I hope you're right, doctor.

I guess I hope you're right.

What do you mean by that?

Well, to be honest,

I thought about the time he'd recover,

and I think I have mixed emotions about it.

Mixed emotions?

When he walks, he won't need me anymore.

Oh, a good nurse can always find work.

Thanks, but this is a little different.

I think I'm in love with him.

In love with him -- Mr. Cranky?

You haven't seen his good side.

He's a wonderful man -- gentle, kind, and warm.

That must be when he's on land.

I haven't seen much of those qualities.

Does he know how you feel about him?

No, and he's not going to.

I'm just his nurse.

It's not up to me to tell him that.

I don't think there's room in his life for me.

Well, I wouldn't know about that,

but I still wonder why there isn't room

in his life for walking.

Silly little girl.

It was sweet of her to give me this chain.

It was my suggestion.

Oh, excellent.

You've finally come to your senses.

You realized the girl is harmless.

Possibly.

Colin...

I've given what I'm about to say a lot of thought,

so, please, listen to me.

What is it?

Our relationship -- this charade we've been playing --

it won't work any longer.

Gina, we've been over this many times.

We both agreed it was best for my career.

I must admit it's been hard on you, but it's worked.

And I can assure you,

despite what you may think happened between Julie and me,

i have not compromised my side of the bargain with you.

I don't know what to think.

Perhaps this incident with Julie

is perfectly innocent, but who knows?

Someday, somewhere --

I'll not hear you talk like this any longer.

It's an old story, Colin.

The loyal wife ages.

The marriage becomes boring.

The husband wanders off.

Only in this case, I haven't even had the satisfaction

of being recognized as your wife.

But our situation's unique.

It's the way it had to be.

I love you, and I always will.

You must understand that.

And I love you...

Perhaps too much.

And that's why I have decided to step out of your life.

Step out of my life?

You can't be serious.

I've never been more serious.

♪♪

♪♪

And that's the story.

He has no intention of getting a divorce.

He's just stringing Christine along.

Why don't you tell her?

Because she knows that I love her desperately enough to lie.

It's Harrison she'd believe, not me.

Mm.

I'm sorry to have to say so, but you got a point.

What's in the box?

A gift for Harrison's wife.

You know, I just wish Christine could have seen

him sitting there writing this card out to his wife.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Piano music playing ]

This card to his wife.

Isaac, that's it!

Thanks. You saved the day.

I got to learn to stop saving the day

and having people run off without leaving me a tip.

How did I wind up with you?

Where's my nurse?

Oh, she said she had something very important to do

and would meet you in the lounge later.

Now, just relax.

I want to show you more of the ship.

So far, all you've shown me are the hallways.

Well, they're not hallways.

On a ship, they're known as passageways.

Mm, it's worth the cost of the cruise to learn that.

And these are the crew's quarters.

Good.

Now, you take me back to my cabin immediately,

or there'll be one ship's doctor

found severely injured in the hallway and/or passageway.

-Gopher, please, don't. -Wait.

Gopher: Donna, I can't sleep.

I can't eat. All I think about is you.

I want you. I need you.

-Gopher, don't, please! -Just let me hold you!

-Wheel me in there. -Oh, I can't do that.

That's gopher's cabin.

Besides, it isn't nice to eavesdrop.

I'll do more than eavesdrop. I'll kill him!

Get your hands... Off her.

You can walk.

It's a miracle.

Why didn't you walk before?

Because I was afraid I'd lose you,

and once I walked,

there'd be no reason for you to stay with me.

All you had to do was ask.

What do you mean? What exactly should I ask?

Anything.

Ask anything.

Well, first, I'd like to ask why a beautiful woman like you

would be at all interested in a man like me.

Because I love you.

You've been in intensive care and you never knew.

[ Sighs ]

I certainly know now.

♪♪

Harrison: You're a fantastic woman, Christine.

Christine: Thank you.

You know, the first time

I saw you in the company lunch room,

I said to myself, "Harrison, you must have her

for your very own." -"For your very own."

[ Knock on door ]

Ah, that must be the wine steward.

Here it is, sir -- that gift you wanted me

to pick up for that very special woman in your life.

Charles, how sweet.

Miss Burton, I didn't know you'd be here.

Uh, this is a surprise.

Well, I am surprised.

Are you out of your mind?

Sir, I had no idea she was gonna be here.

Oh, they're exquisite.

"My darling Francine"?

It's a beautiful note --

warm, full of love.

Hardly something you'd give to a woman who,

uh, you were going to divorce, is it?

Darling, what can I say?

The note says it all for you, Mr. Harrison.

♪♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

we hope you enjoyed your visit to acapulco.

As we sail for Los Angeles,

won't you join us for dancing on the lido deck?

And don't forget our fabulous midnight champagne buffet.

If you're looking for a shoulder to lean on,

you can try this one for size.

Thanks, but I don't know if I deserve one.

I haven't been a very good judge of character.

Everyone makes mistakes.

Except for me.

[ Both chuckle ]

I didn't make any mistakes about my feelings for you.

Is that shoulder still available?

Sure.

You see, you didn't turn out

to be such a bad judge of character, after all.

Hmm.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

[ Upbeat music playing ]

Excuse me.

Gina. Gina.

I've been looking for you everywhere.

Why?

Please, we've got to talk.

I have nothing more to say to you.

[ Music continues ]

[ Drum roll ]

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have a very important announcement to make.

For years, you have known me as Colin Crawford, the actor,

playboy, man about town.

That is perhaps an image more created

by fan magazines and press agents,

but one that I certainly have not discouraged.

[ Laughter ]

At least until now.

No more will I be the eligible bachelor,

because tonight, I'm about to introduce to you

the one, true love of my life --

my wife of 15 years,

Gina Crawford.

[ Gasping, applause ]

I'd like to dedicate this song to her.

[ Piano plays softly ]

♪ If the sun should tumble from the sky ♪

♪ if the sea should suddenly run dry ♪

♪ if you love me, really love me ♪

♪ let it happen ♪

♪ I won't care ♪

♪ if it seems that everything is lost ♪

♪ I would smile and never count the cost ♪

♪ if you love me, really love me ♪

♪ let it happen, darling ♪

♪ I won't care ♪

♪ shall I catch a shooting star ♪

♪ shall I bring it where you are ♪

♪ if you want me to, you know I will ♪

♪ you could set me any task ♪

♪ I'll do anything you ask ♪

♪ if you'll only, if you'll only love me still ♪

♪ when at last our life on earth is through ♪

♪ I would share eternity with you ♪

♪ if you love me, really love me ♪

♪ then whatever happens ♪

♪ I won't caaaaaaare ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

♪♪

And that's the whole story.

It never dawned on me how unfair I've been to Gina

all these years.

And you've been so devoted to him.

Yes, it took the jolt

of nearly losing her to bring me to my senses.

Well, I'm happy for both of you.

Can you ever forgive me, Julie?

After what you've done to me?

You've shattered my life.

You've shattered my dreams.

How dare you speak to me like that?

Don't you think I have feelings?

"Interlude in venice."

The gondola scene.

I'll never forget it.

Well, if it's any consolation, Julie,

you're the one who deserves the credit

for saving our marriage.

I never thought I'd play such an important part in your lives.

Then you really do understand.

Oh, of course.

I'm your number-one fan.

[ Chuckles ] Oh, no, you're not.

[ Sighs ]

♪♪

This turned out to be a real good cruise for you two.

Yeah, it did, Isaac.

Gonna hate to see it end.

Well, there's one good thing about endings.

They're a chance for new beginnings.

Oh, well, thanks for sailing with us.

-Yeah, so long. -Thanks, bye.

Uh, Christine. Tucker.

Yes, Mr. Harrison?

Uh, I'm very sorry about everything.

I -- I hope you'll both forgive me.

Well, sir, we've talked it over

and decided to let bygones be bygones.

You have?

In fact, we are going to give you the number

of a lovely woman we know you'll go for.

Oh, well, thank you.

-You're welcome. -Bye.

Sweet kids.

Hold it.

This is my home number.

Well, still on your feet, I see.

You bet he is, thanks to you two.

Doctor, I hope you'll forgive my deception.

I will if you'll forgive mine.

Forgive you?

We're gonna name our first two children after you.

Doc and gopher.

Maybe not.

These days, every Tom, dick, and Harry is named gopher.

-Goodbye. -Bye.

-Bye-bye. -Bye-bye.

♪♪

♪♪