Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard, it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

♪♪

♪♪

Captain, this is great.

We should do this more often.

Right.

Yeah, Chinese food is my favorite.

Uh, Vicki, no, no, no.

Here. No, put that down.

Listen.

You hold your chopsticks in your right hand like this,

okay?

You pick up a morsel of food like that.

You see?

You just take -- oops.

And then, you send your pants to the cleaners like this.

[ Laughter ]

Here are the fortune cookies.

Help yourselves. Oh.

Good. Thank you.

Hey, listen to this --

you're about to embark upon an exotic journey

to the far east.

I wish.

Shanghai means "above the sea."

The great wall of China is over 3,000 miles long.

You know that I read in the paper --

they just found another hundred miles of that wall

that had been buried for centuries.

Nothing like a little education with your lunch.

I, uh, have to be honest.

I had those fortune cookies made to order

because... We are going to China.

-You're kidding. -Wait, now. What?

-Are you serious? -Now, we sail from Hong Kong

on the Pearl of scandinavia

into the people's republic of China,

stopping at Shanghai and Peking.

Well, how did you manage to swing that one?

Well, the captain of the Pearl used to be with our line.

And I suggested this exchange program for one cruise,

and both the lines seemed to like it.

Oh, gopher, now, you're really gonna have to show me

how to use these chopsticks.

Yeah, I better learn, myself.

[ Laughter, indistinct conversations ]

♪♪

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to transasian airlines.

Our total flying time to Hong Kong

will be 15 hours, 55 minutes.

We hope you have a comfortable flight.

♪♪

Fasten your seat belts, ladies and gentlemen.

We're starting our descent into Hong Kong's Kai tak airport.

Doc: Oh, that's quite a sight.

Gopher: Isn't it beautiful? That's Victoria harbor.

Gopher: How do you like that, Vicki? They named a harbor after you.

Vicki: One side of the harbor is Hong Kong island,

and the other side is the peninsula of kowloon.

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Here we are.

Peninsula hotel is one of the most famous hotels

in the world. -Excuse me.

Would you mind taking a picture of all of us together?

Thank you.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

♪♪

-Can I help you, sir? -Yes.

Been quite some time since I've seen mount kiso rum.

Do you think you make me a shark's tooth?

I can make it if you can tell me what it is.

What it is, my friend, is four jiggers of mount kiso,

a touch of white creme De menthe...

And a squeeze of lime.

And a squeeze of lime.

-You've been to great exuma? -Yes, indeed.

The white whale bar?

Eddie makes a great drink.

Burt gardner.

Carole Stanton.

Would you join me in a glass?

Uh...

Eddie would be very disappointed

if two of his customers didn't take the opportunity

to be better acquainted.

Well, we wouldn't want to disappoint Eddie.

Two.

Mm. You anticipated me.

To a lovely world traveler.

To a gallant world traveler.

You are lovely, you know.

I hope we'll meet again.

So do I.

But I'm afraid it won't be for a while.

I'm off to China on the Pearl of scandinavia today.

Oh.

Well, we will meet again.

I'm going to be on that same ship.

Wonderful.

To our next meeting.

Now, you put yours on mine straight up.

Now, we are one, together forever.

♪♪

Vicki: There's the Pearl of scandinavia.

Oh, it looks like a great ship, dad.

Merrill: Yes, I've checked her out

from stem to stern -- she's a beauty.

Oh, I just can't believe we're in Hong Kong.

If we're not, I blew $2 on this tour book.

You know, the passengers will be coming aboard

in a couple of hours.

Well, there's one thing that I just don't understand.

Is Hong Kong part of China? -No, Vicki.

It's a British crown colony -- till 1997.

All I know is when that horn blows,

we're off for Shanghai and Peking.

Or as the Chinese call it -- Beijing.

Well, whatever they call it, I'm glad we're going there.

[ Speaking Chinese ]

Attention, all passengers --

the Pearl of scandinavia

will be sailing for Shanghai at 8:00 P.M.

Well, thanks, Don.

I really appreciate you and the guys seein' me off.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

It's not often we Hong Kong newspapermen

get to hobnob with a famous columnist from the states.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

They've been reading your advice to the lovelorn for a year.

And they got a big kick out of discovering

that you're "dear Roberta."

Come on. Anybody finds out who I am,

I'll never get a moment's peace.

Relax. And have a great time.

-Yeah, deliver, please. -Oh, yeah. Sure.

Why not?

"Dear Roberta"?

Far out.

♪♪

Barbara fields. It's strange.

But your name isn't here.

But that's impossible.

I...

[ Sighs ]

It's probably under my married name --

Kingman.

Oh, newlywed?

No, newly divorced.

Oh. Oh, yes, of course.

It's right here, Ms. Kingman.

You're on the main deck, cabin 94.

I'm sure you'll meet some nice people.

I should've said, "very newly divorced."

I'm not sure I want to jump back

into the mainstream just yet.

Thanks.

Absolutely nothing available, sir.

Not one cabin?

Why, surely, you must have one.

You see, I must get on this ship.

Sir, I'm sorry.

This cruise was booked months in advance.

I wish I could help you.

I don't suppose you'd accept a bribe?

[ Chuckles ] I didn't think so.

♪♪

-Hello, world traveler. -Hello.

Checked in already?

Yes, yes. I'm all set. How 'bout you?

-Mm, just about. -Excellent.

I boarded early so I'd be here to greet you.

You still got your bag.

-Well, I didn't want to miss you. -How nice.

[ Speaking Chinese ]

I'm sorry. Let me -- let me try that again.

[ Speaking Chinese ]

[ Chuckles ] Excuse me.

It looks like you're having a little communication problem.

A little? Unfortunately, these dictionaries

can't tell you how to say,

"your cabins are through those doors

and to the left." -Ah.

[ Speaking Chinese ]

Uh, could I interest you

in becoming my personal interpreter?

Well, it couldn't be very personal

if I don't know your name.

Oh, Adam bricker.

-Leslie webb. -Hi.

Well, where did you learn to speak Chinese like that?

I've been living in Hong Kong since I was 19.

Yes, I like to travel to the people's republic

as often as I can.

Sounds like you lead a pretty exciting life.

It's getting more exciting by the minute.

Yeah, I'm sorry, but I'm not up

on my shipboard insignias.

Are you the captain? -Unh-unh.

-The purser? -No. I'm the doctor.

Well, fortunately, I always carry a supply of apples.

-Apples? -An apple a day

keeps the doctor away.

Welcome aboard. I'm your purser, Greg munford today.

Hey, Greg. Hey, welcome aboard, guy.

But, uh, you couldn't possibly be traveling alone.

Absolutely solo.

See, I got this little problem, gopher.

I'm madly in love with two girls.

Oh, finally narrowed it down to two, huh?

-What a guy. -Two of the best.

I'm tellin' you. Joanne is perfect for me.

She's classy and sophisticated.

Then, there's Laurie.

She's wholesome and down to earth.

She's perfect for me too.

Well, at least you know what you want --

everything. [ Laughs ]

But, um, do they know about each other?

Are you kidding?

Why, that's why I have to get away by myself.

I've got to decide which one I want to marry.

Joanne: Greg.

Joanne.

Oh.

Hey.

-Good to see you. -Yeah.

I just couldn't stand the thought of being without you.

Of course, mother thought it was foolish of me

to come all this way.

-What do mothers know? -Yeah, right.

Gopher, this is, uh, joanne Morgan.

Uh, this is gopher. He's an old friend of mine.

And she's a new friend of mine, a very close one.

Greg, listen. I just --

i -- I just have to get out of these old rags

and into something pretty.

I'll meet you on the deck later. Okay?

So much for the solo cruise, guy.

But, hey, if joanne followed you all the way to China,

she must really, really love you.

Well, maybe you're right, gopher.

Maybe she does love me more than Laurie does.

I think maybe my problem's solved.

[ Chuckles ]

-Hello. May I help you? -Yes, I'm Laurie Blake.

Has Greg munford boarded yet?

Let me see.

No, not according to my list.

Oh, good. I want to surprise him.

He doesn't know I'm gonna be on this cruise.

Oh.

You're all set, Mr. Haskins.

You're on the Asia deck, cabin 84.

I hope you have a terrific trip.

I could use it, my first vacation in 3 years.

Well, you certainly picked a good time.

-Enjoy your cruise to China. -Thank you.

I'd like to leave this at the purser's desk.

I'll pick it up and take it to my cabin later.

I don't believe it.

Will you look who's here.

[ Air horn blows ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

We've just lifted anchor and are sailing from Hong Kong.

Our first port of call

will be the fascinating city of Shanghai.

♪♪

Champagne for dear Roberta.

Shh.

No one's supposed to know.

Oh, well, I won't tell a soul.

But it says right here,

"dear Roberta sky deck cabin 12."

I'm supposed to deliver this to her.

Her?

Uh, she's in the shower.

Hey, you must be her husband, right?

Uh, no.

Oh.

Well, I'd still love to meet her.

Uh, not right now, of course.

But if she's got a few minutes,

i got something kinda personal I'd like to tell her.

Well, perhaps, uh, later, we can work something out.

I'm about to take a shower.

But I thought you said she was --

oh. [ Chuckles ]

Right.

Right.

Sorry.

♪♪

I am so glad you decided to come on this cruise.

Oh, me too.

What's more romantic than a slow boat to China?

[ Chuckles ]

Let's toast.

To us.

-Just the two of us. -Yeah.

Oh, sweetheart.

Uh, boy, that sun is bright.

You know, it got right in my eyes.

I don't think we better stay out here very long.

Say, uh, what time is your beauty parlor appointment?

Well, I don't have a beauty parlor appointment.

Well, I guess you're right.

I'm sure the sea air makes everybody's hair frizzy.

-Frizzy? -Yeah, frizzy.

Well, maybe I'd better see if I can make an appointment.

[ Laughs ]

Yeah.

Gopher.

Yo, Greg.

I just saw Laurie.

-Laurie who? -Laurie, I mean, the --

the other girl I'm in love with.

What am I gonna do?

Well, Greg, you're gonna do

what any guy in your position would do --

sneak around a lot and lie like crazy, man.

Laurie: Greg?

On second thought, just lie.

Laurie, honey.

-[ Laughs ] Surprise. -Yes.

I took this cruise just so I could have you all to myself.

What a nice thing to do.

♪♪

You wanted to see me, merrill?

Oh, yes, Adam.

We have a sick woman aboard.

I just received a wire from her doctor.

He wants us to keep an eye on her.

Serious?

Heart problem.

[ Sighs ] I feel wonderful.

So do I.

Have you been to Shanghai or Beijing before?

Oh, yes, yes,

but, uh, not with you.

You haven't been anywhere with me.

We'll remedy that, won't we?

♪♪

Studyin' up?

[ Sighs ]

Well, I'm afraid I won't be able to see it all.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

My friends from Hong Kong, they gave me a list a mile long.

By the way, my name is Robert Richards.

Barbara fields.

Mind if I join you?

Oh, I'm sorry. Are you here with someone?

[ Sighs ] Well, actually, I'm not.

I...just would like to be alone.

Oh. Well, it was nice meeting you.

♪♪

Hi, Leslie.

Oh, hello, doctor.

I just came by to give you the Dr. Bricker award

for hastiest departure after meeting me.

Was it something I said?

It wasn't anything against you personally.

Ah.

Well, it's just the medical profession

is not what I hold in the highest esteem.

I think we're in a pretty noble profession.

I'm sure you do.

You know, in China, there's a story about a praying mantis

who raised his arm to stop an approaching carriage.

Well, naturally, this was far beyond his powers.

But he had an inflated opinion of himself.

Western doctors remind me of that praying mantis.

Well, that's hardly fair.

Western doctors have performed some medical miracles.

Well, let me tell you about one of your miracles.

My mother went into the hospital for a minor routine operation.

I never saw her alive again.

I'm sorry.

That's funny.

That's what my mother's doctor said.

Leslie, I can understand how you feel.

But I can't discuss the case with you

because I don't know the facts.

The only fact I do know is that when we met,

there was a chemistry between us.

I don't deny that.

But I still have these feelings.

Well, I still have my feelings too,

the same feelings I had when I met you.

Excuse me.

♪♪

Have you ever been to the great wall of China?

-No. -It is spectacular,

just a -- a timeless memorial to the ingenuity of man.

I can't wait to take you there.

I'll hold you to that.

There's another place I want to take you.

There's a little place in Bavaria

that is so perfect it --

one day at a time, okay?

-My cabin. -Ah, all right.

I will, uh... I will see you

at the captain's welcome aboard party,

won't I?

If not, I'll meet you in Bavaria.

Charlie: Hello, Burt.

Well, what do you know.

-First cruise? -No.

Looks like my last.

♪♪

Haskins, you are nothing if not tenacious.

And you are a cool one, gardner, one of a kind.

Istanbul, Bali, Singapore.

I have been trackin' you for three years.

You should've had me in Istanbul.

I wasn't more than 30 feet away from you in that market.

Were you? [ Laughs ]

And then, you dropped out of sight.

Nobody knew nothin'.

And I got a wire from my office,

tellin' me I'm wasting the taxpayers' money.

"Come home," it said.

Just like that.

"Come home."

You are free.

You escaped.

No, never should've been in jail in the first place.

Well, look,

a college professor's no different from anybody else.

You kill a man, you got... -I killed an animal,

man who was pushing drugs to kids --

my kids, my students.

-Do you want a medal? -Yeah.

I think I should've had one.

Besides, you know it was an accident.

-You know that. -Oh, look.

I -- I ain't no judge and no jury.

I'm just a man doin' a job.

I'm not sayin' he wasn't the dregs of humanity.

But the law's the law.

You can't take it in your own hands.

Well, I may be going to jail.

But at least now, I've got a cabin.

I tell you -- I wasn't lookin' forward

to another sleepless night out there on deck.

Look.

Are these necessary?

Come on, haskins.

I've met someone.

Now, we're at sea. Now, where am I going to go?

♪♪

Good evening, passengers.

You're all cordially invited

to the captain's welcome aboard party

in the Pearl room.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

♪♪

Excuse me.

Barbara, I'd like to present Robert Richards.

Robert Richards, Barbara fields.

And if you'd like, there's dancing later on next door.

Excuse me.

Uh, sorry.

Uh, Julie doesn't know I struck out with you.

I wouldn't say, "struck out."

Actually, Julie's being very sweet.

I -- I think she's trying to fix me up.

Well, uh, if I'm imposing, uh...

Oh, no. Please stay.

I should've told you I got a divorce a while ago.

And I'm afraid I've been a bit of a hermit since.

Well, everyone goes through a transitional period.

-Are you divorced too? -Oh, no.

I've never been married.

But withdrawal is natural after a breakup.

Yeah. It's been awkward.

Just take it a step at a time.

That's dear Roberta, right?

You promised you'd introduce me.

-Uh, champagne? -Yes.

Thanks.

Later.

Here we go.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

Um, gopher, have you seen Greg?

Uh, no. But he's gonna be here. I'm sure.

Where else would he be?

Thank you.

Are you sure you don't want to go to the captain's party?

Are you kidding?

Well, we'd just have to get all dressed up

and be with all those people.

I'd much rather stay here and be alone with you.

Always the romantic.

Well, it's easy... With you for an inspiration.

I forgot something.

Greg.

Be right back.

♪♪

Sorry. It got stuck in between floors.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Greg.

Hi. You're late.

Why, and you're beautiful.

Oh, then again, my watch could be a little fast.

Oh, come on, come on. They have a marvelous buffet.

You must be starving, huh?

Oh, yes, I am.

I can't remember when I ate last.

[ Chuckles ]

I don't know where you get the energy.

Dancing is good for you.

The only thing better for you is champagne.

Ahh.

Tell you, you're driving me right into the ground.

You only live once.

I -- I did live once before we started dancing.

There she is, Adam.

Together.

Forever.

Come on, dad. Let's dance again.

Again? [ Laughs ]

Okay, honey. I'd love to.

Excuse us, Adam. -Sure.

-Hello, Adam. -Leslie.

Oh, I'm so glad you could make the party.

Me too. Thank you for the personal invitation...

-You're most welcome. -...And, uh...

The gift.

[ Both laugh ]

I decided to take your advice and listen to my heart.

Here I am.

Well, honey, finish your food.

What I have planned later tonight for you...

You're gonna need all the energy you can get.

[ Both chuckle ]

Sounds like my kind of evening.

Where are you going?

To get my vitamins.

Carole, I'd like you to meet a very dear friend of mine.

This is Charlie haskins.

Carole Stanton.

-Nice to meet you, ma'am. -Hello.

Oh, I didn't know you had a friend aboard.

Mm-hmm. Practically inseparable.

Oh, yes.

Charlie had a little mix-up with his cabin.

So he's staying with me.

♪♪

Where were you?

Looking all over the ship for this.

See, I figure one long-stemmed beauty deserves another one.

You always do the sweetest things.

Here.

For the only woman in my life.

Your food got cold, but I saved you dessert.

♪♪

Can I interest you in a glass of champagne?

No, thank you, ma'am.

Charlie doesn't drink.

I'm glad.

Then, he'll be our steadying influence.

Oh, I think I need a little air.

Are you all right? You look pale.

Too much champagne.

I'm just going out there for a...

Oh, here, let me go with you?

I... -No, no, no. Wait for me.

Don't look so worried. I'm fine.

♪♪

Adam.

Huh?

Excuse me a moment.

♪♪

Are you all right?

Ms. Stanton?

I'm captain stubing. This is Dr. Bricker.

Hello, doctor.

Your doctor wired

and asked us to keep an eye on you.

Looks like you've been overdoing it a little.

Doctor, I've got just a little bit more to go

and a little bit more to do.

And I found somebody I want to go and do it with.

I appreciate your concern, both of you.

But this could be a last chance for me.

And I'm taking it.

Look, I know we can't order you --

I know. Take it easy.

I will. I promise.

♪♪

♪♪

This is going to be a wonderful trip.

Mm. Looks like you're beginning

to come out of your shell a little bit.

A little.

We'll just have to do a little more about that.

I've got some great plans for us when we get to Shanghai.

I've checked off some sights for us to see

and then a little shopping on nanjing road,

-an intimate dinner -- -oh, wait a minute.

And then followed by a romantic stroll.

That's a little more than I'm ready for.

I thought we're gonna take this one step at a time.

Well, I figured I'd cover steps 1 through 10

in one fell swoop.

Uh, if you were to ask my advice --

I didn't.

Too much outside advice ruined my marriage.

And I don't want any more of it to ruin my life.

Sorry if I jumped the gun.

Does this mean no Shanghai together?

No.

It just means back to one step at a time.

Little teeny ones?

Little teeny ones.

Step two.

[ Laughs ]

Attention, all passengers -- this is the last call

for our delicious breakfast buffet.

Gopher, I got to talk to you.

Yo, Greg.

How's the world's greatest lover, guy?

That's what I have to talk to you about.

Listen, now. I worked up a little schedule for Shanghai.

-What schedule? -A schedule.

See, I figure while I take Laurie to the people's park,

you could take joanne to renmin square.

-Now, I can take joanne -- -uh, no.

I'm the purser, not a tour guide.

Gopher, gopher. You don't understand.

You're watching your friend die before your very eyes.

Look, you got to help me out.

Okay.

Attaboy.

Okay, listen. I won't forget about this.

Okay.

I got a feeling I won't either.

♪♪

Doc: Hi, merrill.

Leslie: Hello.

-Oh, hi. -Are you feeling any better?

Uh, just about the same, Adam.

Well, what happened?

Oh, I have this little back problem

from the party last night.

I think I've got to do less dancing

or get a taller daughter.

It's a problem I've had on and off for years since the Navy.

Are those painkillers I gave you helping at all?

A little, Adam, a little.

Western medicine -- when in doubt, pop a pill.

Why not stop it naturally without chemicals?

I know a great acupuncturist in Shanghai.

Acupuncture?

Isn't that where they stick needles in you?

-Uh, sounds a little drastic. -Not at all.

Acupuncture's been used for centuries to relieve pain.

Leslie, please.

I deal with injuries like this all the time.

Well, what's the matter, Adam?

Are you afraid it might work?

Now, why should he be afraid?

It's my back.

Well, maybe you should try it, dad.

-I don't know, Vicki. -Well, it might help.

What do you think, Adam?

It's up to you, merrill. If you want to, try it.

Well, I have heard that acupuncture can be effective.

Uh, maybe I should consider it.

♪♪

Ni hao, ladies and gentlemen.

And welcome to fascinating Shanghai,

one of the largest cities and busiest ports in the world,

situated 25 miles upstream along the mighty yangtze river.

♪♪

[ Traditional music plays ]

♪♪

It's enough you had to share your cabin with him.

Do you have to share your date too?

I'm sorry about that.

But he asked if he could come along.

And I really couldn't say no.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Let's ditch him.

Hey, hey, hey!

In here, right here.

♪♪

[ Conversing in Chinese ]

♪♪

[ Engine turns over ]

Charlie, you're not as fast on your feet as you used to be.

I owe you one.

Let me be alone with her for a while, will you, please?

Oh.

Come on.

You said you owed me one. It's important to me.

I'll give you a little breathing space.

That's it.

Okay.

Are you two all right?

Fine, fine.

Oh, good.

Well, come on. Shanghai awaits.

♪♪

In our clinic, we treat many people

with many problems.

Ooh, Dr. Lee. What is this procedure?

It's a form of acupuncture used for over 2,500 years.

It's called cupping.

I keep telling Ms. Webb she should be my assistant.

Is that what you're going to do to me?

No. For your problem, I will use needles.

Oh.

I, uh, didn't know they were so long.

Well, don't worry. It won't hurt.

The needles are inserted at precise points in the body

to block the flow of pain

from the brain to the nervous system

by closing the gate in the spinal cord.

No drugs are necessary at all.

Adam, why don't you and Leslie go sightseeing

until Dr. Lee is finished with me?

In fact, I'd prefer it.

Oh, merrill. I wanted to watch.

Well, I'll take some pictures for you.

I may want some 8-by-10 glossies.

-Come on, Adam. -Okay.

Well, shall we begin?

♪♪

Greg: I'm so glad we're together.

Laurie: Me too.

There's no one else I'd rather be with.

♪♪

Joanne: Listen, gopher. Thanks for showing me Shanghai

while Greg's busy.

Hey, my pleasure.

I'm glad you found some time for us to be together.

I'll always find time for you.

♪♪

Laurie: You're really taking good care of me, gopher.

I hope Greg knows what a good friend he has in you.

Oh, he knows. He knows.

♪♪

Listen, I've got to get one more picture here.

Greg, isn't that your friend over there?

It is. It's gopher. Gopher!

Gopher, that woman's callin' you over there.

I don't know anybody in Shanghai.

Gopher, come on.

Gopher, that was you. Small world, isn't it?

Yeah, getting smaller all the time.

Hi. I'm joanne Morgan.

I'm Laurie Blake.

And this is, uh... Where'd he go?

Well, nice seeing you, Laurie.

We got to go. We're late for lunch.

And I'm really starved.

Gopher, we already ate lunch.

-Really? -Yeah.

That's what I get for eating so fast.

Die trying -- we got to...

Nice to meet you.

Honorable lady like my new hat?

Greg, you just missed gopher.

Oh, shucks.

♪♪

Stand over there.

Is this all right?

You know, I hate bein' this far away from you.

This place is incredible.

And that's the Washington tea house.

And that bridge? That's the bridge of nine turnings

because evil spirits cannot go around corners.

Isaac, I love sightseeing with you.

It's like going to school.

Oh, it's even better.

There are no exams.

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, looks like your matchmaking is working out.

Oh, don't they look happy together?

I guess she finally took my advice.

-She took your advice? -Mm-hmm.

That's a switch.

-You have the prettiest smile. -Thank you.

Isaac: Hey, Mr. Richards.

Hey. Would one of you mind taking a picture of us?

Isaac: Oh, I'll do it.

She sure is beautiful.

You know, I always pictured dear Roberta

to be the matronly type.

Oh, I assure you, dear Roberta is far from being matronly.

Okay, say, "nailao."

That's Chinese for "cheese."

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Both laugh ]

For passengers interested in trying their luck at Blackjack,

the casino will be open until 1:00 A.M.

I can't understand it. He's not on the bridge.

He's not in his cabin.

Maybe his back got worse.

Adam, I've been looking for you.

Oh, merrill, where have you been?

All over Shanghai.

I just got back an hour ago.

What a day.

I had lunch on the roof garden of the peace hotel

overlooking the entire city.

And then, I went bicycle riding.

-Bicycle riding? -Yes.

Leslie, I can't thank you enough.

Dr. Lee has made me feel 100% better.

Oh, merrill, that's terrific.

Any questions about acupuncture now, doctor?

Please don't needle me.

[ Laughs ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hey, guy. Where are the girls?

Sleeping finally.

I tell you, that was a pretty close call today

-between joanne and Laurie. -I hear you.

Oh, gopher, I need a day off.

Okay. Uh, okay. Here's what you do --

you tell the girls you got to stay in your cabin

all day long 'cause you got the flu,

and you'll see 'em tomorrow.

Gopher, that's a great idea.

Why, I mean, that way, you can take care

of both of 'em for me.

You know, I could just kiss you.

Hey, guy, not with the flu.

Woman: Sir, cards?

♪♪

[ Bell rings ]

♪♪

He never lets us out of his sight.

Do you know he has been following us

everywhere we've gone?

Who?

Who?

Charlie.

Oh.

I've had this urge to kiss you all day, Burt.

You have?

You know I have.

I had no idea.

You mean, you had no urge of kissing me?

None whatsoever.

But now that you've mentioned it...

What are you waiting for?

Well, you're obviously self-conscious.

I'll overcome it.

[ Laughs ]

Burt, why don't you let Charlie

have the cabin to himself tonight?

-Where would I sleep? -Well, if you don't mind

sharing a cabin with a friend,

maybe you won't mind sharing another cabin

with another friend.

You would do that for me?

I'll do anything for you.

[ Laughs ]

Leslie: This is part of the yu garden.

The garden was created over 400 years ago

for, um, an official of the ming dynasty.

Now, this part,

this is called rock of the hill.

I'll say one thing --

I bet I've had the best guide in Shanghai.

I think I've seen every garden in the city.

Oh, for the Chinese,

gardens have always been a symbol of a perfect world,

you know, where -- where nature and art

blend in total Harmony.

Want to sit down?

In the orient, gardeners are highly respected.

Much more than doctors, I suppose.

[ Chuckles ]

As a matter of fact,

I'm beginning to reconsider my image of doctors.

Hmm.

After all, since I've met you,

I've never felt better.

♪♪

Laurie: I'm so sorry Greg's sick.

But we'll still have a wonderful day, gopher.

Oh, isn't this beautiful?

Look over there.

All those works of art were done over 600 years.

♪♪

[ Bell rings ]

♪♪

You tired, gopher?

Hey. What, are you crazy?

[ Yawns ] Unh-unh. I'm --

oh. Oh! You know what I want to do?

I want to get a shot of that bridge.

Will you wait here just a minute?

Sure.

I just want to --

sure.

Okay.

♪♪

Excuse me.

Aren't you gopher's friend, joanne?

We met yesterday at the market.

-Laurie, right? -Right.

Oh, good.

[ Both laugh ]

So, uh, how long have you known gopher?

Oh, we just, uh, met on the cruise.

My boyfriend introduced us.

-He and gopher are old friends. -Really?

Yeah.

I'm on the cruise with my boyfriend,

and he's a friend of gopher's too.

No kidding.

He's cute as soon as button. Wait 'til you see him.

Oh, mine is handsome too. I'll show you.

Look at this. Isn't he cute?

To think I came all the way to China just to be with him.

What do you think I came here for, the duck?

Listen, let's just make-believe none of this happened, okay,

until we come up with a plan to get back at that two-timer.

♪♪

Shanghai is so beautiful.

It's a shame to leave.

What's wrong?

I'm scared.

The last person I felt this strongly about was my husband.

But he hurt me very badly.

Well, I'm sorry that that happened.

But... -I'm not comparing you.

It's me I don't trust.

It's just happening too quickly.

All right. Let's ease off a bit.

You want some time to yourself? Fine.

Just don't forget --

I'll be around if you need me.

Thanks.

Come on. I'll take you back to the ship.

♪♪

We are now leaving Shanghai, ladies and gentlemen.

We hope you found it as exciting as we did.

We're now on our way to xingang,

the port of entry for the extraordinary,

wonderful city of Peking

in the people's republic of China.

♪♪

[ Knock on door ]

♪♪

Hold me close.

Yes, yes.

Oh, I'm glad you got away.

What did you tell Charlie?

The truth -- that I love you.

Do you?

I do...

More than I've ever loved anyone in my life.

With that big cabin all to himself,

i bet Charlie sleeps like an angel tonight.

♪♪

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Our breakfast buffet

is now being served in the explorer's lounge.

♪♪

-Open book exam? -Hi, Adam.

Hi, Leslie.

Do you know what numerology is?

Uh-huh. The study of numbers.

Right.

I already know what your numbers add up to --

a perfect 10.

[ Laughs ]

Well, the Chinese have been using numerology

for thousands of years.

It's a -- a science

to help each of us discover our destiny.

Hmm. Anything about us?

Well, according to the tables,

our solar does show that we are destined to be lovers.

Oh. Suddenly, I'm a firm believer.

Uh-huh.

What else?

Oh, the numbers also show that when our live paths cross...

...one of us will face death.

I like the first part better.

Good morning.

Oh, good morning.

What did I do to deserve that?

Oh, do I need a reason?

Oh, no. Feel free any time you want.

I'm sorry about yesterday.

I'm trying not to be afraid of my feelings anymore.

Ah, here we go.

Orange juice and coffee for the lady.

Well, thank you, Isaac.

You know, it just doesn't seem like morning

without orange juice, coffee, and dear Roberta's column.

Love that lady.

Well, personally, I'd rather read the obituaries.

[ Laughs ]

That's good.

What was that all about?

Search me.

I sense you're not too fond of, uh, dear Roberta.

Have you ever read her column?

Once or twice.

Seemed okay to me.

I hate that kind of pop psychology.

I think it's irresponsible and dangerous.

♪♪

Laurie, listen.

I've got it all figured out --

the perfect way to get even with Greg.

Shoot.

No, shooting's too good for him.

Okay. What's the plan?

First, you tell Greg

that you've fallen madly in love with gopher.

Hmm?

Yeah, yeah.

Then, when he comes running to me,

I'll tell him I'm madly in love with gopher.

Perfect.

That way, he'll lose both of us

and never know that we're on to him.

-You are terrible. -I know.

I knew there was something about you I liked.

I'll see you later.

Charlie: Two lousy hours' sleep.

Tonight, you sleep here.

I ain't spendin' the night outside her cabin again.

She's a nice woman.

You're not bein' very fair to her, are you?

You have to tell her.

None of your business, Charlie.

This what you're looking for?

I'll say one thing for you, Charlie.

You only slept 2 hours.

But you sure slept soundly.

[ Telephone rings ]

Yes?

Oh, Carole.

Look, if you don't mind,

i think I'll stay in and rest up for Beijing tomorrow.

No, no, no. I'm fine.

Remember, you promised to take me to the great wall.

All right, darling.

Speak to you later.

Bye-bye.

Satisfied?

Yes.

Believe me -- it's for your own good.

There's always tomorrow.

Not for everybody.

♪♪

You know, I'll tell you something, gopher --

this havin' two girlfriends

is about to drive me crazy.

Hey, guy, how do you think I feel?

Listen, Greg. You cannot keep

leading them on like this, man.

You have got to make up your mind.

-It's not fair. -Yeah, I know.

I think I made up my mind.

-I think it's gonna be Laurie. -All right.

Here, to Laurie.

-Sweetheart. -Greg.

-Hi, Laurie. -I need to talk to you.

Well, have a seat.

I can't go on living a lie.

I don't love you, Greg.

I want gopher.

I've fallen madly in love with you.

I'm sure she doesn't mean any of this.

Yes, I do.

In Shanghai, it was all I could do to keep my hands off you.

My fingers tingled.

My stomach was jittery.

That must have been something that you ate.

Laurie, you can't mean this.

I'm sorry, Greg.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

Well, some friend you turned out to be.

Well, you still got joanne.

I should've known this was gonna happen.

♪♪

♪♪