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Damn it!

Here, let me do that.

No, I'll fix it.

You'll just re-injure your back,

and we'll be screwed for another year.

Becca, I told you, I'll do it.

The doctor said I'm going to go back to work.

It's about time.

Your worker's comp ran out two months ago.

Babe, you need to relax about all this stuff, okay?

I told you, it's going to be okay.

And we can start trying again to get pregnant.

It's going to happen.

That's my girl.

And there's no time like the present

to start trying again.

There's no time, period.

I have to go to work.

I hate to burst your bubble,

but this whole infertility thing,

it might not be me.

I know.

I'm going to get checked out.

You've said that before.

I mean it this time.

I am.

Oh, don't forget,

we've got to go to Max and Wendy's tomorrow.

Okay, I'm going to work.

Love you.

Love you, too.

I swear, I still need a GPS

to make my way around this place.

See, I told you, darling,

the guest should use the maid's bathroom.

It's so much closer.

Have our guests use the help's bathroom?

No, not in my house.

Our house, darling.

It's our house.

See, honey, now you've started an argument.

Wendy and I don't argue, ever.

You know that's actually true?

You don't argue?

No way.

Every couple argues.

I hate to be blunt,

but it's because we're rich.

Max, you're so gauche.

He's become so obnoxious lately,

ever since he closed that real estate deal

on Rodeo Drive.

Oh, he's been doing that

ever since our fraternity days.

He's humble-bragging.

Look, all I'm saying is that statistically

the number one thing couples argue about the most

is money, or the lack thereof.

So if you take that off the table,

what else is there to argue about?

Like I said before, Ron,

you ever need a little help,

all you have to do is ask.

And like I said before,

don't be ridiculous.

You know, all I need is one big construction job

and I'll be flushing it.

And once he's done redoing the loft,

I'll give it for a fortune.

So don't you worry.

We'll be fine.

Mindy, I really like your new hair.

Oh, thanks.

You know, it is so true what they say.

Blondes have way more fun.

I hope our husbands don't get us confused.

Speaking of which...

How's your sex life these days?

Uh, it's...

it's great.

Yeah?

Yeah, no complaints.

Yeah, couldn't be better.

That's what you think.

So being rich gives you guys better sex, too?

Come on, guys.

What's with you two today?

Well, actually, that's the point.

You see, it's not just...

us two.

What's not just us two?

Yeah, what are you talking about?

Mindy and I have been

on an extraordinary adventure.

We've opened our marriage.

It's a whole new glorious world.

Wait, so you guys are having sex with other people?

Yes, we are.

Isn't that dangerous?

Like playing with fire?

Mm, it is.

But playing with fire is what makes it so hot.

Until you get burned.

That's where the rules come in, sweetie.

We have our limits.

I mean, I never thought I would ever do this.

I'm the one that demanded a cheating clause in our prenup.

Which was completely unnecessary.

But as long as you follow the rules that you make,

nobody gets hurt.

Rules?

Yeah, like what?

Like, for example,

our number one rule is...

No extracurricular activities

without the other person.

Boom.

Really?

And practice safe sex, of course.

Of course.

You know what?

It's getting really late.

I think we should get going.

Suit yourself.

I just have a really early morning tomorrow.

Yeah, we'll, uh, continue this discussion another time.

Hope we didn't scare you off.

Okay.

So, what did you think?

You go first.

Okay.

Okay.

Morning, babe.

So, Mendy was in rare form last night.

Were you as surprised as I was

about their extracurricular activities?

Yeah, completely.

I didn't think they were that tight.

Are we?

Are we what?

The tight?

I mean...

I... I just...

Come on.

Be honest.

You clearly got excited about the idea.

Well, you were obviously excited yourself.

Because it was hot to think about.

But I don't know if I could actually do it.

I mean, I would never do anything you didn't want to do.

You know, I would never do anything to hurt you.

I know.

I mean, maybe it would be a welcome distraction.

From?

You know, stuff.

Yeah.

Stuff's been pretty rough lately.

Obviously, it would be entirely up to you.

Great.

So, if it doesn't go right, then it's all on me.

Yeah, I mean, I wasn't even seriously considering it.

You're right.

I don't know if you noticed,

But I finally finished stripping the paint off the brick yesterday.

Are we still scheduled to move out in March?

Probably more like May or June.

It's a better time to flip properties in, anyway.

I know it's no big deal to you,

But I'm having a harder time with this uncertainty.

You mean about money coming in?

That's part of it.

Please, babe, don't rub it in.

I feel guilty enough that you have to work double shifts at the hospital.

Ron, look at me.

It's my turn to be the breadwinner.

I'm okay with that.

Really.

Then what is it?

Someday, I'd like to feel like our home is our home.

And if we're ever able to start a family,

I don't want to be so transient.

I'm sorry, honey.

Maybe Max and Mindy have the right idea.

About open relationships?

No, about money-solving stuff.

Oh, that.

Yeah.

I see what you mean.

All right, I gotta get to work.

Wait a minute.

Last night was the first time that you and Ron had sex in three months?

Yep.

I thought you two were trying to have a baby.

A lot. Like bunnies.

We are.

Well, we were.

I guess we are again.

Okay. Well, that's good.

But why the sudden change?

I don't know.

Come on. Spill it.

Okay.

So, last night, we went up to our rich friend's house in Malibu.

And they suggested that we try opening...

A lemonade stand?

No. Okay.

That Ron and I try opening up our marriage.

Oh.

This got interesting.

You know, to, like, spice things up.

So, you two had a four-way with Max and Mindy last night?

No. We just talked about it.

Okay. I believe you.

Then what happened?

Then I guess the conversation just got Ron and I a little frisky.

And when we got home, you know, things just...

Kind of happened.

So you were turned on by the idea?

I never thought I'd say this, but...

Yeah.

And if I'm being completely honest,

I'm kind of intrigued.

And so is Ron?

Oh, yeah. He's a guy who I remember.

Trust me. I remember.

So, what do you think?

Well, in gay land,

open relationships are...

pretty normal.

Unless you're ugly.

In which case, nobody wants to have sex with you.

Tough crowd.

But seriously,

between two men,

we, you know,

we get it.

Get what?

That love and lust are two different things.

Sex is sex.

I'd feel threatened if I watched Ron

have sex with another woman.

A loving, trusting relationship

doesn't have to feel threatened by

opening things up.

In fact, it can strengthen it.

How?

Well, by experiencing something exciting together.

As a team.

But now that you're married, it's different, right?

Not at all.

Gary and I have an open marriage.

You do?

Sure.

And you may want to close your mouth

before a fly lands in there.

You never told me that.

You never asked.

You guys just seem so happy

and so committed.

That's the point.

We are.

And you never get jealous?

No. Not at all.

What you need to do is have a conversation

with the rich wife.

Mindy? Yeah.

You need to have a one-on-one with her.

Woman-to-woman.

Make sure that you two are on the same page.

So come on, spit it out.

It's been a long enough to beat around the bush.

Okay, so

I wanted to talk to you about the

isolationist proposition for you

and your hot, juicy slab of a husband.

Yes.

The whole idea just seems so naughty.

And I mean, I wasn't approved

before I married Ron or anything.

A little bit of a late bloomer,

but you made up for last time.

And while Ron is definitely open to it,

though he's trying to hide

how open to it he is.

It's all about ghosts, trust me.

When Max first suggested it,

I almost slugged him.

Slugged him? I thought you don't fight.

We don't.

I just hit him sometimes.

But I don't leave a mark.

Really?

I'm kidding. What is up with you today?

You mind?

Didn't you worry when he brought it up?

Didn't it make you feel insecure?

First, I don't do insecure.

And second,

neither one of us would ever dream of cheating.

Why's that?

Because of our prenups, silly.

If I get caught cheating, I get kicked to the curb with nothing.

And if he gets caught cheating,

I take him to the cleaners.

So an open marriage

is not considered cheating?

Nope.

Our arrangement is that we

experience everything together.

So there's no cheating,

there's no lying, there's no secrecy.

I don't know.

I just don't know if Ron and I's relationship

is on solid enough ground right now.

I'd be afraid it would drive us further apart.

What's going on

with you two?

This past year has just been

a perfect storm of problems.

Look,

I didn't want to tell you this

because I didn't want you to worry,

but just last year, Max and I were heading

for divorce.

Really?

You covered it well.

I'm good at that.

Anyway, we decided to try

this whole open relationship

and the most amazing thing happened.

It rekindled

the spark that had gone from our marriage.

We're happier now than we've ever been.

Huh.

So...

No pressure.

But I hope you give this

some serious thought.

It worked for us and it just might work for the two of you.

I consider you my best friend.

I didn't know you thought

so highly of me.

I'm...

I'm honored.

My fertility test came back.

Oh?

And?

The doctor says I have a

1% chance of having children.

Sorry to hear it, pal.

Are you okay?

At least I know now what it's like

to be part of the 1%.

Very funny.

How's Becca taking it?

I haven't told her.

Why not?

Just don't say anything, all right?

Especially to Mindy.

One more piece of bad news, right?

She deserves to know.

I'm gonna tell her.

When I get a construction job, at least then she'll see me as successful at something.

Come on.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

No, I'm not, man. She could decide to leave me over this.

That's crazy talk.

You two are the happiest couple I know.

Not lately.

We had sex for the first time in months

the other night.

Really?

Yeah. The night you and Mindy

had that whole open marriage thing.

What?

Our little conversation got you two all hot and bothered?

I guess it kind of did.

I don't think we're ready to go through with it, though.

Hey.

Don't mock it.

This open relationship

has brought me and Mindy closer.

What about us, Max?

Our friendship, what would it do to us?

It's just sex.

Trust me.

As long as everyone's on the same page,

no one gets hurt.

No one gets hurt.

You got me feelin' fine

Got me feelin' fine

I'm gonna lose my mind

You got me feelin' fine

Come on, come on

Come on, come on

That's my ding.

I know your ding, honey.

My, my. We're popular.

That's a first.

Who's it from?

I got one from Max.

Let me guess.

Sleepover this Saturday?

That's it exactly.

So what do you say?

I don't know.

What do you say?

You sure about this?

I'm sure I want to try it.

Yeah, now you do, you naughty girl.

Remember the rules.

Yeah, of course.

Number one, we do nothing without each other.

And number two, if one of us wants to stop,

we both stop. No questions asked.

Okay.

This painting, it's new, isn't it?

I acquired that at an auction in Paris last year.

I think it's hideous, but Max likes it, so what do I know?

I'm not an art critic.

Ron, what do you think?

Well, the colors are nice, but it's not really my style.

See, Max? Ron agrees.

So, Becca, not to put you on the spot or anything, but whose side are you on?

Well, I like it. It's striking, and it commands your attention.

I couldn't agree more.

Wrap my legs around you

And you feel me holding you tight

Lost here inside my heavy breath

I dare you to speak a word

Victim of seduction

Prisoner in my world

Just one glance in this devil's eyes

I dare you to speak a word

I dare you to speak a word

So?

So what?

So what? We haven't even talked about last night yet.

What's there to talk about?

Seriously?

I know. I, uh...

I don't know what to say.

It brought up a lot of mixed emotions.

Yeah, I understand. We don't have to do it again.

No, that's not what I'm saying.

Uh...

Was it what you thought it was gonna be?

Did you ever see yourself doing what we did?

I mean, I've thought about it in a fantasy kind of way.

Because I'm a guy.

Really?

I mean, the fantasy was a little different.

More women. Less Max.

How do you feel about it?

You promise you won't get mad?

Sure.

I thought it was really hot.

And I can tell you did too.

I did.

But that's not the point.

What's the point?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm just being a hypocrite.

I enjoyed it. And you enjoyed it.

So...

So we're good?

We're good.

We're good.

Listen, there's something I have to tell you.

I don't wanna jinx it.

But I just put in a bid for a big construction job.

A community center that's being commissioned by the mayor.

That's good. I'm so proud of you.

Yeah, I don't wanna get my hopes up too high.

But I think I have a real shot at this.

That's great, sweetheart.

Things are finally looking up.

Guess what I got.

Text from Max?

Yep.

Same here from Mindy.

So what do you think?

The alley door behind Crawley's?

They've certainly got my curiosity up.

Glad you decided to show.

You ready?

So what is this place?

Open for business.

It's an underground club.

Mindy founded it.

There's this app called Caligula that shows all the nearest hot spots.

For open-minded people like us.

I wasn't expecting to do this with total strangers.

Yeah.

Stop worrying.

You can just watch. No pressure.

Password?

Kumquat.

Let's go.

I am Bolivia.

And we only have three rules here.

Number one, anything, and I mean anything goes.

Number two, if anything doesn't go, well tonight's safe word is suspended.

And number three, have fun.

Now down the hall and to your left is Pandora's Labyrinth.

But you know what, I don't think your friends are ready for that yet.

And this is the meat and grease.

So you know what?

Why don't you meet and grease?

So what's your pleasure?

Sex on the beach?

Or would you like the cocktail first?

That's a good one.

Why thank you, baby.

Stick around.

I got a million of them.

Actually, I'm not drinking tonight.

Really?

In a place like this, I don't want to dull my senses.

I'm with you, gentlemen.

I'm designated driver.

I guess I'll pass, too.

Suit yourselves.

Galoshes, anyone?

Yeah, good idea.

How many of those do you plan on using?

Honey, they're free.

I'm just playing it cool.

I don't think I'm ready for this.

It's too much.

Yeah, I'll be there.

I'll be there.

Hey.

Hey.

Relax.

We're just here to watch.

You know, have fun.

This is just foreplay for our...

Foreplay.

Let's go.

It's so small.

Well, yeah, it's kind of a tight fit.

That's the idea.

So, who wants to go first?

Mindy.

Mindy.

What is it, sexy?

Where's Max and Becca?

Here, come on.

Isn't rule number one that we're all supposed to be together?

I...

We are all together.

In this club.

Sorry, guys.

The chair we got stuck with was giving me a backache.

We just went to go find something more comfortable.

That's it.

Anyway, it's getting late.

Let's get dressed.

Okay.

Okay.

You enjoyed yourself last night.

Wasn't that the point?

I guess.

I mean, yeah, it was.

You certainly seemed to be having a good time.

Oh, I did.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

What is it?

It's just that...

Never mind.

Look, I'm sorry.

Max has a bad back and I was just looking out for his condition.

Well, Max's bad back doesn't stop him from earning millions.

I didn't mean to compare the two.

Anyway...

I think we should stop.

Really?

What do you mean, really?

You're not being fair.

You were an absolute heaven.

You're right.

I was.

But it's off.

Clearly we can't handle this.

If I don't lose five pounds by November,

I'm not going to be able to fit in a badge-leaning Mieczka that Max bought me for my birthday party.

What are you talking about?

You don't need to lose one ounce.

Thanks.

That's why I love you.

Oh, that reminds me.

It's a little gift for me for no other reason than everyone deserves a little surprise every now and then.

Here.

It's yours.

Shoot, you don't like it?

No, I like it.

I mean, I love it.

Good.

Delighted.

Listen, I need to talk to you about something.

I'm listening.

We're calling the whole open thing off.

Why is that?

It just got too complicated.

Seems pretty simple to me.

What do you mean?

You're afraid.

Afraid of what?

I don't know.

You tell me.

I'm not afraid.

Yes, you are.

Of what?

Of breaking out of your shell.

Shaking things up a bit.

I know.

It's not me.

Ron's actually the one who called it off.

And if one of us wants to stop, we both stop.

No questions asked.

He'll come around.

Don't worry.

Yes!

Oh!

Oh my God!

Oh!

Oh, great!

Hey, babe, what's up?

Hey.

So it turns out I'm going to be working late shift tonight.

Covering for Dylan.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I'm just here watching the game.

You want me to save you some pizza?

No, I'm going to be here till midnight.

Ah, yeah, I'll probably be asleep by then.

No worries.

Don't wait up.

Come on, come on!

Yeah, I love you too.

Bye.

You are a goddess!

Glad I could help.

Thank you.

I thank you.

My husband thanks you.

But most of all, Lady Gaga thanks you.

Because she just couldn't go on if you and Gary weren't there for moral support.

From the nosebleed scene.

First mezzanine!

Whatever.

Get out of here before I change my mind.

Thanks.

Tonight's password...

Romeo.

Okay.

You're just going to watch.

There's no harm in watching.

Password.

That's, uh, Romeo.

Welcome back, baby.

And an H2O for Romeo.

Thanks, poor baby.

You're welcome.

Can I get you anything else?

No.

Anything?

No.

No.

Hi.

I'm Angelique.

And you are?

Ron.

I'm Ron.

You are just breathtaking.

I can't.

You can't what?

I can't do this.

Then why are you here?

My wife, she, uh...

What about her?

She doesn't know I'm here.

Well, I won't tell if you won't.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What's the matter?

You're back?

No.

I wanted to tell you something.

What is it?

Well, I went to the fertility clinic and I got tested.

Finally.

And?

And I'm the reason you can't get pregnant.

They said there's only a one percent chance.

I'm sorry, Ron.

I really am.

But how long have you known this?

A couple of weeks.

Wait, you've known this a couple of weeks and you didn't tell me?

I'm sorry.

I know.

I wanted to tell you, it just never seemed like it was the right time.

So every morning for two weeks you silently watched me take those fertility supplements as if it was my fault?

I knew you'd be upset.

Of course I'm upset.

I thought we were in this together.

I cannot believe you didn't tell me something this important.

I'm sorry.

I should have told you as soon as I found out.

Yeah, you should have.

Can you just forgive me?

Give me the keys.

Becca, I'll drive.

I don't want to be with you right now.

Give me the keys.

How am I supposed to get back?

Feeling all alone

Something's never right

Trying to find my home

Wondering if I'm right

Sitting here alone

Confused with what I find

Becca!

Becca?

I was never fine

People are alone

Cause they can't see

It takes two to make a pile

Of luxury

I can't do this on my own

Cause then I'll be

Just like everybody else

Alone, but free

Hi, you've reached Becca's cell.

Leave a message after the beep.

We need to talk.

I don't want to talk about it.

I just want to go to bed.

Good morning.

Morning.

Ron?

Yes?

Have you seen an expensive black car

parked across the street lately?

No, I haven't noticed.

It's the second time I've seen it

ever since the night at the club.

Oh, babe, you're just,

you're just being paranoid.

I don't know.

This whole thing has made me feel so

vulnerable.

You expecting someone?

No, but I'll go see who it is.

Who are those from?

You tell me.

To Becca, my one and only.

How sweet of Dylan.

Your co-worker.

Yeah, he knows I've been under

a lot of stress lately.

Some friend who doesn't even know

your favorite flower.

Chrysanthemums are my favorite flowers.

Why don't you call in sick today?

We could both use some quality time

here at the house, just you and me.

I don't have any sick days left,

remember?

And somebody has to pay the bills.

Uh-huh.

Here we go.

Come on.

Yeah, yeah, one more.

Come on.

Good.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Take it easy, Hulk.

What's gotten into you?

You all right?

No, I'm not all right.

I don't appreciate you

sending my wife flowers.

What are you talking about?

I didn't send her flowers.

Come on, man, it had to be you.

It had to be you.

They arrived at the loft this morning.

Ron, if I secretly wanted

to send your wife flowers,

why would I send them to the loft

where you would obviously see them?

Okay, I'm sorry.

Apology accepted, jerk.

So did Becca say who they were from?

The gay friend Dylan that she works with

at the hospital.

And how do you know it was him?

Because I could tell she was lying.

At least I think she was.

So who else could it have been?

Your guess is as good as mine.

She's always working late.

She's never around.

She's always out of the house.

You're being paranoid.

She's probably just getting together with Mindy.

I don't know what to believe anymore.

What's gotten into you?

I messed up, Max.

I went to the club alone.

Open for business?

You know, it sounds worse than it is.

Some girl kissed me at the bar.

I never felt so guilty.

I couldn't bear it, so I stopped.

Then I left.

That's all? Just kissing?

I swear, I wouldn't lie to you, Max.

Does Becca know about this?

No.

She wouldn't believe it and never went further.

She's already furious at me

for not telling her about my fertility test.

So you finally told her, huh?

Yeah, and she blew up at me

for keeping her in the dark about it for weeks.

Now is not the time to confess

going to the club on my own.

Our marriage will be over.

Look, I'm sure she'll forgive you.

Eventually.

This whole open marriage thing

was supposed to be an escape from our problems.

I feel like all it's done is cause more.

I hope you don't blame me.

No, of course not.

You!

Hey, boys.

You guys are looking all pumped up and sweaty.

You haven't been to a gym

since you were four-student college.

Yeah, since when did you become a gym buddy?

Since you bought me a badge

when we used to go two sizes too small.

But that's not the only reason I'm here.

Oh? What else?

What can I say?

I miss my boys.

And I really miss our little get-togethers.

You guys have to admit,

that was the hottest sex ever!

Mindy, what's gotten into you?

Keep it down.

I know what I'm not wanted.

Mindy.

Yes?

You seen Becca lately?

Not as much as I would like.

The last time you left,

I didn't know how it was going to turn out here.

Yeah, just a jacked car with a high folded head,

didn't have the class of 35,

didn't think he was gonna make it back here this year.

Hi, you've reached Becca's cell.

Leave a message after the beep.

Hey, babe, I'm just calling to check in

to see how you're doing.

Don't work too hard.

Don't work too hard.

Love you.

Critical care.

How may I help you?

Hey, Dylan, it's Ron.

Oh.

Hi, sexy.

How's it hanging?

Uh, can I speak to Becca?

She's not here.

Well, when will she be back?

She won't.

She's not working this shift.

That's odd.

She told me she was working late.

Nope.

You must have gotten the dates mixed up.

She left three hours ago.

Hey, Dylan, did you send her flowers this morning?

No.

Why would I send her flowers?

Uh, never mind.

Well, I'd love to chat the rest of the night away,

but Nurse Ratched's giving me the evil eye,

so adios, amigo.

Okay, yeah.

Thanks.

Bye.

Password.

Boomerang.

Welcome back.

You're a loser.

A virgin Harvey Wollbanger.

And a charity proving.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I know you'd come.

I can't stop thinking about you.

I came here to tell you it's over.

Just because Ron called it off?

No, because I'm calling it off.

The four of us might be off, but not me and you.

Remember, this was your idea.

This wasn't about you and me, Max.

We don't have to do this anymore.

I'm pregnant.

That's what you wanted, isn't it?

Yeah, of course.

But now no more.

No more lies, no more rules, no more...

You're right.

I mean, I want you, but you're right.

I can't do this to Ron anymore.

No, we can't.

I'm sorry, Mindy.

Please don't send any more flowers.

I don't know how to explain that to Ron.

What are you talking about?

I didn't send you flowers.

If you didn't send them, then who did?

You're up.

I was worried.

Why were you worried?

I called the hospital and you weren't there.

Are you spying on me?

Why weren't you at work?

None of your business.

I'm your husband.

You lied to me when you said you were working late.

And the flowers didn't come from Dylan either, so tell me the truth.

What's going on?

Nothing.

You call this nothing?

When were you going to tell me?

I just wanted to wait and see if there was no complications.

We've been trying for so long.

I didn't want to get your hopes up.

Do you think I could be the father?

Of course you're the father.

You beat the odds.

Your one percent chance came through.

But what about Max?

What about Max?

We used protection.

You know that.

That was one of our golden rules.

Where were you?

I just wanted to be alone to think.

So I went to the mall and I looked at baby merchandise.

And the flowers?

I honestly have no idea.

A secret admirer, I guess.

Happy birthday, Mindy.

You two look like twins.

Oh, do you need a drink?

No, I'm good.

Oh, I need a refill.

Darling, would you do the honors and escort me to the bar?

You look beautiful tonight.

Yeah, I look exactly like your wife.

You know she gave me this dress?

Yeah, I know.

She had me buy two.

I guess now I know why.

Listen, I need to ask you something, but only if you promise to keep this between us.

Not having sex with you again, Max, if that's where this is going.

No, I'm worried about Mindy, actually.

Oh?

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but my gut tells me she's pretty infatuated with your husband.

She won't stop talking about him.

Newsflash, she's always had a thing for Ron, ever since college.

I know, I'm not blind, but it's more intense lately.

A lot more.

A lot, actually.

You mean since she's consummated her friendship with Ron?

Even before that.

When you suggested the open marriage, it wasn't hard for me to convince Mindy,

and I think she welcomed any excuse to have sex with your husband.

Well, she's not having sex with Ron anymore.

It's over.

Mindy doesn't give up easily,

and I have a very strong suspicion that she's scheming a plan to have her cake and eat it, too.

What's this about cake?

I'm famished.

I haven't had a carb in two months.

I thought you wanted to wait until after dinner to blow out your candles.

Well, I changed my mind.

It is a woman's prerogative to change her mind.

Isn't it, Becca?

Let them eat cake.

So, let me get this straight.

You're just assuming Max is the father.

There's only a one percent chance it's Ron's.

You do the math.

One percent is still one percent.

You need to be sure.

We'll get you a prenatal paternity test.

How can I afford that?

Insurance won't cover it.

Relax.

We'll get you a prenatal paternity test,

and we'll get you a prenatal paternity test,

and we'll get you a prenatal paternity test.

How can I afford that?

Insurance won't cover it.

Relax.

I know a guy.

That'll do it for free.

Old boyfriend.

He owes me.

Only requires a blood draw from me.

Right.

But you'll also need a DNA sample of Ron.

How am I going to do that without rousing suspicion?

Geez, honey.

You really need to start watching more crime shows.

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Up before me and making breakfast.

Yes, I'm making breakfast.

You know, that's one of the things I love about you, babe.

How observant you are.

What's the occasion?

Does there have to be an occasion?

Can't it just be to remind you that I love you

and that you are the most amazing woman in the world?

Wow.

Okay.

Um...

Oh, and check this out.

Huh?

Am I dreaming?

And guess what?

I have some really great news.

What?

I got the job.

What?

The community center, yeah.

Really?

Yeah, we're gonna make a fortune.

The mayor's setting up a press conference.

My construction business is going to skyrocket.

This is amazing.

Best of all, you don't have to do double shifts at the hospital anymore.

In fact, when the baby comes,

you don't have to do any shifts at all if you don't want for as long as you want.

This is such good news.

Yeah.

Kids are finally looking up.

Yeah, and guess what else?

There's more?

We're not gonna flip the loft.

We're not?

No, we don't need the money.

This place can be ours to keep a real home for us.

For our family.

Yeah.

You know, I really think this whole open relationship thing,

even though it's over, really did help us in a roundabout way.

Flowers again?

Better not be.

What the hell is this?

Who knows you're pregnant?

Nobody.

You haven't told anybody.

No.

This is really creepy.

You know what?

You're right.

Somebody is spying on us.

The files you're looking for?

Thank you.

So, did anything hair-raising happen last night?

Mission accomplished.

Nice work, Nancy Drew. And your blood donation?

Dracula thanks you.

I thank you.

Anything for my BFF.

And whatever happens, I'm here for you, okay?

Okay.

Good.

Now, cover for me.

I'll run these over to my ex and be back in a jiff.

Unless he wants to fool around. For old time's sake.

To Ron, no one deserves this windfall more than you.

Hear, hear. You've worked so hard for this. I'm so proud of you.

Thanks guys. Now for the hard part.

Actually getting this thing constructed on time and on budget.

You'll kill it, pal. I know you will.

Is this the girl you were looking at the first night at the club?

Yeah.

Do you care to tell me how and when this happened?

I went back to the club. One time.

Um, Mindy, maybe you and I should go inside.

No. You stay right here.

You went back to the club by yourself?

Yes. And I am so sorry.

Okay, but I didn't do anything.

You didn't do anything?

No. I mean, obviously I kissed her, but that's all.

Kissing is something.

I know. You're right. I'm sorry.

She wanted to do more and I stopped.

What do you want, a medal?

I'm sorry.

Ron, you were the one who put a stop to this whole open relationship.

I know.

I completely and totally messed up.

Yes, you did.

Now what?

I'm fired.

What?

The mayor got the same text that we got.

That's it. I'm out.

Just like that, we're back in the poorhouse.

That's it. I am done. I am sick of all the lies.

Max, do you want to tell him?

Becca, please. Be careful what you're about to say.

Max and I went back to the club by ourselves, without you, Mindy, and without you.

How does that feel?

Is this true, Max?

Oh, wait, and that's not even the worst part.

That's enough.

I want you and Ron out of here now.

I thought we meant more to each other than this.

I thought this whole open relationship was going to bring us closer together.

But I don't know you anymore.

Either one of you.

I don't know you anymore.

I don't know you anymore.

Afternoon, doll. How was last night?

Don't ask.

Are you okay?

Well, whenever you're ready, my shoulder's available.

This may not be a good time, but the results are in on your paternity test.

And?

Well, I didn't peek. That would spoil the drama.

And the winner is... drumroll, please.

Sorry.

I just can't right now.

It's okay, sweetie.

Thank you for doing that, though.

My pleasure.

All right, now get out of here. Your shift's over.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Mindy?

Ron?

Anybody here?

Oh, my God, Ron!

Consider that a warning.

So you're the one with the black car?

Stalking us?

Stalking?

I wouldn't call it that.

I think it's more like keeping in touch.

Stop.

Right.

There!

Yes, Mindy?

Take off your clothes. Put that on.

We'll look so much alike, Ron won't know who's who.

This is going too far!

I said put it on.

I've never had it so good.

Two for one.

Mindy, what the hell is going on?

What took you so long? I texted you an hour ago.

Honey, I can tell that you're upset.

I'm not upset. I'm happy.

Now, be a sport and take your clothes off and join us.

One last time.

Mindy?

No!

Just do what she says.

Okay, okay.

Can't we just talk this through calmly like adults?

You need help.

I'm not crazy, Max.

Well, you're not in your right mind, sweetheart.

You've lost the ability to distinguish between right and wrong.

Didn't we let all that go, that whole right and wrong thing?

I saw all of you in the club sneaking around.

Wait.

You're the one who put our pictures on the Caligula app?

Guilty as charged.

Why would you do that to Ron?

He lost his job over it!

This thing you've got for Ron has got to stop right now.

You think that all of this is about Ron?

Yes, sweetheart, you're obsessed!

You're damn right I'm obsessed!

But not with Ron.

I'm your secret admirer.

Becca.

Who do you think sent the flowers?

And the baby carriage?

You and Max are not very discreet.

Oops.

Didn't see that coming.

I'm sorry I hurt you.

No harm done.

I've always wanted to be just like you.

For us to be best friends.

For us to look the same.

Be the same.

If this is between you and me,

Where did Ron and Max go?

Becca.

You still don't get it, do you?

Deep down, you love Ron.

So I love Ron.

He's a part of you, so he has to be a part of me too.

I was so happy you wanted to open your marriage.

So we could share everything.

So that we could be united.

Physically.

And spiritually.

You know, this does remind me of all the times that we shared together.

Those times, it changed me.

It opened me up to something deeper.

Yeah.

They were hard times, weren't they?

Very.

In fact, Ron was just talking the other day about how he missed those times we shared.

Well then, shall we?

I think it would help if we untied Ron.

He's taking up all the bed.

Yeah.

Okay.

Go ahead.

Untie him.

Happy now?

Let the games begin.

Max, lay on the bed next to Ron.

And you, next to me.

Having fun?

I love you.

I love you too.

I love you too.

I appreciate it.

What's that?

An eternity test.

I'm a father.

I knew it.

What am I looking at somewhere new by yourself?

I never felt we were apart, but now our love is just a memory.

It's gone and gone.

Let all the future spit over you.

They say a promise can't last a lifetime, and loneliness can't do the same.

You don't believe in second chances, because you've never been in love before.

You only lift me up just to let me down, and the time is wasted.

You miss the point of true romance, because you've never been in love before.

Never been in love before.

I get up.

I feel pathetic and certain.

This time I lay down my guard and stand.

I lost my shoes and I lost my friend again.

This is the calm before the storm.

I could not hurt.

I'm letting go.

I hope what happened is what you left behind while you change your mind, because

you don't believe in second chances, because you've never been in love before.

You only lift me up just to let me down, and the time is wasted.

You miss the point of true romance, because you've never been in love before.

Never been in love before.

A distant memory of when love was lost and never found again.

No time for secrecy, because too much emotion buries all within.

I can't expect you to understand, but I hope you will give it a try,

because I'm infested and it'll be just a lie.

It's come to this.

It's the time to make things right.

No more knocking down your door, because it's killing me inside,

and I won't get slated.

Turn away, turn, turn away now.

Turn, turn away.

I know that you'll get back.

You don't believe in second chances, because you've never been in love before.

You only lift me up just to let me down, and the time is wasted.

You miss the point of true romance, because you've never been in love before.

Never been in love before.

Turn away, turn, turn away now.

Turn, turn away.

Turn away, turn, turn away now.

Turn, turn away.

Turn away, turn, turn away now.

Turn, turn away.

Turn away, turn, turn away now.

Turn, turn away.

I know that you'll get back.

I know that you'll get back.