Original subtitles

Lamb chops.

Dog meat.

Close pins.

Close pins.

Police headquarters.

Sorry, I meant to knock you down.

Yes, Dobby.

No, Dobby, Dobby.

Yes, Dobby, Dobby.

Really, Dobby, I won't.

Goodbye, Dobby.

That was my wife.

Really?

I thought you were talking to a pigeon farm.

Well, what's this?

Are you wearing her apron strings in public?

No, those are sort of forget -me -nots.

Things my wife told me to remember not to forget.

That's cute.

She better not tell you to remember anything else or you'll have to use your

toes.

Well, that's what's new.

I've been reading that story of yours about this counterfeit,

a $100 bill daily.

Oh, that.

It's a cooked -over yarn of six months ago.

Good evening, Sergeant.

Good evening.

I'd like to see Captain MacTavish.

What's the name, please?

Gilbert.

What do you want to see him about?

Something confidential and private.

Very private.

Well, what about it?

Well, I'll have to know what it's about.

I can't phone the captain without knowing.

You know, he's a pretty busy man.

Oh, that's different.

Excuse me.

Yes?

Captain, there's a man here by the name of Gilmour.

Said he'd like to- Gilbert.

Huh?

Gilbert.

Oh, yes, Gilbert.

Gilbert.

Captain, there's a man by the name of Gilbert.

He says he wants to see us.

Very important.

I'm sure you'll want to see him.

I'll be right out.

He said he'd be right out.

Good evening, Captain.

My name's Gilbert.

How do you do?

I'd like to have a little private talk with you.

Hello, Captain.

Good evening, Miss Blaine.

You, uh, you wouldn't throw a story to a poor starving girl reporter,

would you?

No.

And you keep away from Gehagan.

Why?

People beginning to talk?

Come right in, Mr.

Gilbert.

We'd be glad to cooperate with you, Mr.

Gilbert.

But I thought a secret service like the G -Men didn't work with the police.

Well, ordinarily, we don't work with anyone at all.

But occasionally,

situations arise where the local police can do things that we can't...

without tipping our hand.

Now, this is such a case.

I need a police officer to front for me.

And from what we know in Washington, Steve McBride is our man.

Well, it's quite an honor.

Well, it'll be honor enough in this for all of us if we get our man.

The secret service have been after him for 14 years.

Who is it, Bailey?

That's right.

$100 a bill, Bailey.

I understand he's pretty smooth.

Doesn't go for any rough stuff.

Yeah, that's right.

But the brainiest of them slip up now and then.

And Bailey has finally made a mistake.

Yeah?

Is that so?

Yes, he quarrels with one of his own men.

We got to him and found that Bailey was coming out here to pass the stuff at

the races.

Well, if you know that, it ought to be easy to nab him.

The only way we can do that is to give him his head for a while.

Let him think he's getting a wee with it.

You mean you're going to let him pass some of his counterfeit of the track?

No one will be stuck with it.

The department in Washington has made arrangements with the local Federal

Reserve to...

Honor Bailey's counterfeit until we are ready to close in.

I can understand that.

And we'll be only too glad to have a hand in it.

Well, first, I want you to get me on one of the $100 windows of the track.

Or I can spot the bills as they come through and tip my men to follow the

passers -by.

Well, I can get you on the window all right.

That track steward owes us a few favors, doesn't he, Captain?

Good.

But don't let him know I'm a government man or what I'm working on.

And then you'll have to see the editors of the newspapers...

and ask them to kill any stories about counterfeit circulating.

I'll get the newspapers to play ball.

Steve, keep away from tortured.

This thing is over.

I'll do that, Cap.

Miss Blaine, my fiancée is a newspaperwoman, and I won't be the word to her.

Well, I hope you don't, old man.

Say, I'd like to see that track steward and get everything settled tonight,

if I could.

All right.

We can drive out to his house right now.

Fine.

Oh, incidentally, McTavish,

you'd better make the routine check on me with Brennan.

All right.

Our phone, Brennan.

Oh, send him a note.

That's the routine way of doing it.

Then you'll have a record for your file.

Just check for identification.

Brennan knows I'm here and why,

but I'm not supposed to contact him until I need him.

Yes, I understand that.

I'll tell Gahagan to bring the car around.

Well, I was going to have Gahagan take a note to Brennan.

Well, say, my car is parked down the block.

Why not use that?

All right.

I won't need Gahagan.

Oh, get the car.

I won't need you.

I'm going to drive McBride somewhere because Gahagan is taking a note to

Brennan.

Put the car in front of the station.

What's on your chest there, handsome?

Captain wants to see it.

What have I done now?

I feel a poem coming on.

Captain McTavish is a Scotchman.

McBride and me is mix.

If I tell Torchy one more thing, they'll send me to the sticks.

Ha ha ha!

Not bad.

Not bad.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Did I send for you?

I mean, did you send for me, Captain?

Yes.

Sit down.

Yes, sir.

I think that ought to cover it.

Yeah, that ought to do it.

Hey.

Yes, sir.

I want you to take this note to Tom Brennan and the Federal Building.

Is the office open this late, sir?

If it isn't, they'll give you his home address.

Yes, sir.

I mean, yes, sir.

Bring back his answer.

Yes, sir.

And don't show that to Torchy Blaine.

Oh, you know B for us.

Yeah, that's the trouble.

Yes, sir.

You all ready, Mr.

Gilbert?

Yes.

The car is down front.

All right.

Let's go.

Thank you, Captain.

You're going to be a great help.

Yeah.

See you all later.

Well, I'd begun to think dinner was going to turn into breakfast.

Oh, I'm sorry, Torchy, but I can't take you to dinner.

You what?

You may...

Oh, you mean on account of this gentleman here.

Well, he can have dinner with us.

Oh, this is Miss Blaine.

I mean, Miss Blaine, this is Mr...

How do you do, Mr.

Gilbert?

How do you do, Miss Blaine?

You'll have dinner with us, won't you?

Well, I'd like to.

But we have some things to do with Torchy.

We have some important business.

I'll call you later.

Come on, Mr.

Gilbert.

Hmm.

I think I'll have a snoop instead of a stick.

Stevie!

Stevie!

Torchy, I thought I made you understand.

We got important business.

Well, I'm stuck here.

Drop me someplace.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Go ahead, Mr.

Gilbert.

Look out now.

All right, take care.

So, Torchy.

Get in!

Get in!

Oh, don't ever do that, Torchy.

Now, what's the matter?

Yeah, Hagen, I forgot to tell Steve something important.

Follow him, Paul.

Oh, listen, Torchy.

Listen, I'm sorry.

I can't do that.

I got an important errand to do.

What have you got to do?

Well, I got a delivery note to, uh, to, uh...

Mr.

Brennan of the United States.

Cheat torchee, I come here saying something I shouldn't have.

I gotta get out of here.

Fine couple of basketball players.

Who are you and who do you think you're talking to?

I'm a cop.

Well, you'll have to prove it.

Says who?

There's us.

We're from the D .A.'s office.

Yeah?

Well, you guys must be new on the staff.

Everybody knows me.

I'm Gahagan, Lieutenant McBride's driver.

Well, you'll have to prove it, buddy.

There's a guy going around in a phony police car posing as a cop making

stickers.

Yeah, but this ain't no phony police car.

And here's me badge.

Yeah?

This guy stole her badge, too.

What other identification have you got?

Well, I got me wallet with my police card.

There it is.

What's this letter?

Well,

that's a letter from Capric Tabish to operator Brennan in the post office.

You see, I'm doing secret service work for the next half hour.

Do you think he's all right?

I guess so.

Here you are, Gahagan.

All right, buddy, be on the lookout for this guy, will you?

And if you pick him up, it may mean a promotion for you.

Okay, I'll keep my eyes open.

No phony cop can fool me.

So long and good luck.

See you later.

Mr.

Brennan?

Yes?

I'm Gahagan from Capric Tabish's office.

Ah.

Here's a letter for you.

Those are all right, John.

Thank you, sir.

Well, it's after 9 .30.

Don't tell me that old buzzard's still up.

He is.

Well, let's see.

He told me to wait for an answer.

Make yourself at home, Dr.

Hagan.

Thanks.

Oh, here you are, Dr.

Hagan.

There we are.

Thanks.

Do you smoke?

I don't smoke anything.

Have a cigar.

Oh, thanks.

Colorado Cabancio.

Colorado Cabana.

Oh, here, my Greek ain't so hot.

I'll smoke it a little later.

Nothing like a good cigar.

It reminds me of a poem I once wrote.

Uh...when your head is all a muddle, and your noise is all a jar,

and you've got no one to cuddle, you'll get a joy in a cigar.

Not bad.

Well, uh, not good.

Yeah, but not bad.

You'd better get back with that note, Cajagan.

Okay, I'm on my way.

Thanks again for the cigar.

Lester!

Lester, darling, Lester!

Oh, Lester!

Hey, wait a minute.

What is this?

Lester, you can't do this to me.

How can I do what I ain't doing?

Father, you see how he treats me.

Young man, what do you mean by spurning my daughter?

I didn't do no such thing.

I never even met today.

I've made a mistake.

Oh, I'm so sorry, but you are the living image of my Lester.

We apologize, Mr.

Humbly.

Uh -huh.

Mr.

Cajagan is the name.

Come along, give him.

Well, what are you laughing at?

Your face.

Well, yours is no monologue, so get her out of the way.

How did the girl act come on?

As it always does, without a hitch.

You suppose Cajagan has wised anything?

Not a chance.

What do I do about this letter?

Give it to me.

Yeah, and I got one here, too.

Yes.

I'll save it for Bailey and he'll add them to the collection.

Say, when do we start shoving the quay?

From what happened tonight,

I think Bailey will start working the racetrack tomorrow.

Here you are, Cap.

Swell guard out, Brennan.

Ho, ho, ho.

What did he do, kiss you?

Huh?

Say, where did you get that lipstick on your face?

Lipstick?

I must have come from that dame that kissed me.

Listen, Cajagan, when the captain sends you out on an import...

You're not supposed to stop and play kissing games.

I didn't stop.

In any way, it wasn't me she thought she was kissing.

Say, have you been drinking?

Oh, no, Cap.

I haven't touched a drop in months.

Five minutes after I get through telling you not to talk to Torchy Blaine,

I catch you showing her where you're going.

Say, what's ailing you?

It's me mind.

It's working all the time.

I'm just fatacued, I guess.

I think he needs a rest, Cap.

So do I.

Take her two weeks.

Right now.

Oh, that's great.

You'll give me a chance to work on that horsebacking system I perfected.

Thanks, Cap.

Two weeks vacation.

I don't know why it's coming over that guy lately.

Neither do I.

Here, Steve, read that.

See you later.

Gilbert's an important man in the Secret Service, all right.

Well, it's nice to see you, Charlie.

I'm glad you stopped here.

Come in again sometime.

Okay, nice to see you.

Okay, good luck.

Thank you.

Archie!

Come here.

Sit down.

When are you going to hand me a story that's worth your salt?

Well, it's a story in whatever Steve's working on now,

but I haven't been able to find him for two days.

Now, lay off what Steve's working on.

Let him alone.

Well, this is interesting.

My boyfriend's working on a case that's so important,

you won't even talk to me about it,

and my news hungry editor tells me to lay off of him.

Now, listen, torture, there's certain things we can't even touch.

Oh, like this Mr.

Gilbert, for instance?

I can't even discuss it with you.

So they've got you muzzled.

Well, listen, big boy, they're not going to muzzle me.

I'm a newspaperwoman with a set of old -fashioned morals and ethics that tell

me I have an obligation to my readers.

I'm going to crack this Gilbert case, and if you don't print the story,

I'll take you to a paper that will.

Twitie, come here.

I'm going to lose my job, my livelihood, my pittance, if I don't get a story.

Well, how can I help?

By telling me what you know about that Gilbert case the lieutenant's working

on.

Now, why, now, I couldn't tell you anything about that.

Not even to save my job?

I'd lose my job.

Oh, oh, well, I wouldn't want you to do that.

Where's Gahigan?

On vacation.

He's playing the races and cleaning up with a system he's got.

Gahigan has a system?

Yes, sir, and he's getting rich fast.

The lieutenant said when he saw him at the track yesterday...

Steve was at the track yesterday?

So that's where he's been hiding.

Now, listen, Miss Blaine, if he ever finds out that I let that slip...

Oh, he won't find out.

I haven't even seen you, Sergeant.

I just heard about Gahigan beating the races,

and I'm going out to swipe his system.

I'm going out to swipe his system.

Did you send your man after that guy in a white suit?

I'll stick with your man in case he gets into trouble.

Hey, Steve, come here.

Don't fall.

Maybe he might spoil everything.

Let my man do it.

When I give you the word, step in, but not before.

You know, one slip and we're dead.

Oh, okay.

I'm sorry.

But I'm itching for action.

No, you don't get it.

Don't worry.

Ow!

Why don't you look where you're going?

I ain't going no place.

Yay!

Oh, gee, welcome to the sport of kings.

What a day, what a day.

Come on, listen, be a pal.

Now, let me in on that system.

How did you find out about it?

Oh, everybody's talking about it.

OK, I'll tell her to you, but you've got to keep it, Mom.

Be very secret, dear.

Well, I don't care about that, but you've got to keep it, Mom.

Yeah.

Come on, let's go somewhere where normal here is.

There's a good place up there.

Come on, I'm all ears in my palm inches.

Well, I'll tell you how it works.

First, I concentrate.

Follow her two into a trance.

Then I make my mind go blank.

That should be very easy.

Make my mind go blank?

It's the easiest part of the system.

As I was saying, I make my mind go blank till a number pops into it.

A blank number?

A blank number.

No, no, any number.

Then I multiply the number by the same number,

and the last number of the result is the whole number.

If I had a horse, I'd plunk it on.

Simple, ain't it?

Simple.

Listen, Professor, I haven't your keen mathematical mind,

so let's get on the cases.

How do you intend to, uh, bet this next race?

Oh, uh, I never bother with those things.

Let me see.

Number six.

Six times six is 37.

Number seven is our horse.

Six times six is 36.

Are you sure?

It has been for the last few years.

Well, I guess it's number six we bet on,

although number seven feels better to me.

And I don't like to go against me mathematics.

There goes the bugle.

Better get your bet down.

And remember, keep my system to yourself.

Only me and you and Steve know anything about it.

Did you let Steve in at it?

Oh, sure.

But you know, Steve,

I think the system is a little too much for his mental fatalities.

Where is Steve?

There he is.

And there he's been standing for two days, like one of them flowers in a pot.

I'll meet you at the rail.

Hello, stranger.

Oh, hello, torture.

What are you doing here?

I came out to interview a horse, but he's like a police department.

He won't talk.

How's your luck?

Well, I, uh...

I haven't been playing much.

Thank you, Dad.

What?

There's your friend, Mr.

Gilbert.

Where?

Where?

Don't give me that word.

You've been acting like a screen ever since I started talking to you.

Now, listen, torture.

You get this straight.

Mr.

Gilbert came to see me in MacTavish about, uh...

about a private matter.

Whereupon you start dodging me, refused to return my calls,

and came for the racetrack with Gilbert Works.

Oh, nothing of the kind.

I simply came out here to, uh...

To learn Gehagan's system, I know.

You pardon me while I put two frog skins on a Gehagan's special.

The fourth race.

The horses are under the gate, and they're all lined up nicely.

It looks like a well -behaved field.

Seabreeze is just broken through and is causing trouble.

Look at the way that Seabreeze is acting up.

Seabreeze?

Yeah, number six, the horse we're betting on.

Maybe he's just raring to go, huh?

I hope so.

But I still think we should have bet on number seven, War Race.

There they go.

Which one is our horse?

The last.

Well, they're not.

They're all by the side.

It's Rainbow in front by a length.

My girl is second, and War Race.

I think he's got a chance to come in, huh?

Yeah, but don't set up for him.

Around the turning into the back stretch, it's Rainbow by a head.

War Race on the rail is second, and my girl is third, and fair play.

Around the far turn and coming for home, it's Rainbow by a head, and War Race.

War Race is driving hard, and it's War Race in Rainbow.

War Race is in front by a length.

War Race wins by a length and a half.

War Race, my number's seven.

I told you I had a feeling.

After this, I'm going to use my own system.

What do you know about mathematics anyway?

All I know is I want to stay.

Have you got any around here?

Yeah, over there.

Only they call them hamburgers.

They call them hamburgers.

Oh, hello, Steve.

Hello, Tom.

What are you doing here?

You know what I'm doing here.

Oh, I'm trying to make it the hard way.

Over there.

Listen to Ben McBride.

Let me know what they're talking about.

Okay, Chief.

You been over to $100 windows?

I got orders to stay away from the $100 windows.

From Washington?

No, from my wife.

Say, I haven't cashed her bed all day.

Give me something good in the last race, will you?

Hello, Chief.

Hi, Gahagan.

Mr.

Brennan, you know Gahagan, my driver.

Oh, hello, Mr.

Brennan.

Hello, Gahagan.

Yes, sir.

Yeah, I know Mr.

Brenner from way back.

Have a cigar.

And they're your kind, Colorado Cabagio.

Thanks.

I'll smoke it later.

Nothing like a good cigar after dinner.

That's right.

Reminds me of a poem.

I heard it.

That's right.

You did.

Say again, give Tom something good in the last race, will you?

With pleasure.

Number eight.

Number eight.

Oh, that's an awful dog.

Can't help it.

My sister says he's hot.

I have 100 for number nine to win.

100 for number nine to win.

Take those to Beulman.

Get your back down.

I'll see you in the stands and tell you all about it.

See you later, Chief.

See you later.

Well, I'll take a flyer on it.

See you later.

See you there.

Nothing stirring but a breeze.

Just more talk.

Brad's watching.

Follow that Greek who just went out.

Follow that Greek who just went out.

Did you get any more bad paper?

Yeah, from that creep I just left here.

Was that one of your men you sent after him?

Gonzales, one of my assistants.

You know who the Greek is?

I'm not sure, Steve, but I think that's Bailey himself.

No kidding.

I hope he didn't recognize you.

No, he's not suspicious, or he wouldn't come near the track.

Hope Gonzales don't lose him.

He won't.

We'll have a line on there to hide out tonight.

No, that suits me.

I'm fed up with doing nothing.

Gee, Hagen, where have you been?

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Gee, Torchy, you know how much me and Mr.

Brennan won on the last race?

Oh, how much?

600 bucks a piece.

And that's what happens when nobody interferes with me mathematics.

Hey, Hagen, you're marvelous.

Where did you go to school?

PS 14 on 28th Street, but the system's me own idea.

Yes, sir, 8 times 8 is 68.

Have you heard that 6 times 6 is 37?

No.

Yeah.

Well, hello, Steve.

Hello, Gil.

How much bad money passed today?

Heh, plenty.

There you are.

Holy smokes.

How do you manage to take this from the window without being short?

Why, I replace it with my own money.

How do you like that?

That's the most genuine looking stuff I've ever seen.

I couldn't tell them from the real McCoy.

Why, you can't tell them from the real McCoy.

You could spend that anywhere in the world, Steve.

Well, I've got to go, Steve.

My boys will be reporting in.

OK, I'll see you tomorrow.

Boy, am I dying to get my hands on that guy, Bailey.

Well, I'll be right with you when you do.

Oh, good.

Come on.

This is the end of this video.

This is the end of this video.

What is this guy a fish?

Hello, G.

Hello, Marie.

How are you?

Fine.

Good.

Hello, boys.

Say, I just had a little fun teaching McBride's girlfriend.

Listen, boss.

If that dame gets in your hair, I'll wash her out.

Oh, gloomy.

When you've been with me for a while,

you'll learn to solve your problems with brains instead of bullets.

Yeah?

Well, I don't like any dames what go gumshoeing around.

Well, right now, Miss Blaine's shoes are too wet to do anything, but go home.

The boys tell me you put on quite an act for McBride down there at the track.

Oh, and a very profitable act.

There you are.

It's about ten grand.

Hey, I showed them to McBride.

Told him it was a phony I picked up.

What'd he say?

Well, he examined them.

He said they were so well made, he couldn't tell them from the good ones.

Poor Sappy didn't know that Uncle Sam made them, and they'd better be good.

Have you got help to just how they operate?

Yep.

I got the inside and the whole system.

I know when the deposit and the bank they use.

Everything.

And I'll swap a bunch of our stuff for the real McCoy every day.

Until we have to take it on the land.

When will that be?

When the bills get to the Federal Reserve Bank and they send for the Secret

Service.

Sounds airtight, all right.

But don't you think that we should have someone watching the Federal Reserve

Bank?

Well, I'm glad you brought that up.

Look, Gonzales, you camp across the street from the Federal Reserve.

Every day, from the time it opens to the time it closes,

the minute that Brennan or any of these men go into that bank,

you hop out to the track and give me the office.

I'll duck out and we'll blow.

Okay, Chief.

And every night,

the government men don't show and meet me at the apartment in the city so they

can bring the money out here in case I don't get away.

Right.

You gonna keep on camping at that city place, boss?

Well, I've got to.

You can't hear a newsboy call.

calling an extra paper out here in the country.

You don't miss a trick, do you, boss?

Well, I'd better not.

Gee, this is a nerve -wracking business.

As soon as this job is finished, I'm going to pick up a nice,

quiet little home on an island far, far away.

Well, just be sure it's not Alcatraz.

Yeah, but it seems to me this guy Gilbert is working awful slow.

You may be right.

But these federal men work differently.

And as long as he thought enough of us to ask us to work with him,

we'd better go along his way.

All right, I won't say anything to him then.

Hello, Gil.

Hello.

Good morning, Gilbert.

Morning.

What's the matter?

Anything wrong?

Lenny, Bailey shook us off last night.

What?

How?

Well, my man Gonzalez tailed Bailey to a restaurant.

Then he phoned me at the apartment.

Well, I joined Gonzalez, and we followed Bailey.

Then, who do we find tailing us but Miss Blaine?

Miss Blaine.

Steve,

I'll have to ask you to please keep that girl out of my hair before she spoils everything

Leave it to me.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Steve.

What's the matter?

Did you dial the wrong number?

Listen, Torchy, what's the idea of tailing Mr.

Gilbert?

So, he's been telling tails to teach her, huh?

Listen,

you'll keep out of it if I have to frame a charge and throw you in jail.

Oh, well,

then I'll have you pinched for false arrest and maybe they'll put us in the

same cell.

Wouldn't that be ducky?

Guess he didn't think so.

Hiya, baby.

Hello.

Well, what are you going to do, give a bride away?

I say get up, huh?

Yes, only it's half past two.

Well, I know what time it is.

It doesn't look like it.

Wearing a morning suit in the afternoon.

Well, it was more when I put it on.

I'm taking the day off from making my millions.

Say, Torchy, how about writing a story about me and my system?

Why don't you try the comic supplement?

Well, you can work in about the ransom bills.

About the what?

When I made my deposit this morning,

the bank people asked me about a bill I got at the racetrack.

Oh, I thought it was kidnapping dough.

Hey, again.

The light begins to glimmer in the gloom.

What gloom glimmers where?

Well,

I happen to know that they're not looking for any ransom bills in this part of

the country, but they might be looking for something else.

What, for an instance?

What denomination was that bill they questioned you about?

A hundred dollar bill.

And how do you like that?

The first one I get my hands on is something the matter with it.

Oh, I get it.

A hundred dollar bill, Bailey's working the track.

And this Mr.

Gilbert's a secret service operator sent there to catch him.

And they're not going to let me in on it, huh?

Well, I'm going to get that Bailey.

Good.

And you're going to help me.

Oh, Torchy.

What's the matter?

Oh, I feel a poem coming on.

If it's my job, I should lose.

You can blame a dame.

You can't blame booze.

And I'll tell you where to put the blame.

A pond ahead of torch he blamed.

Oh, will you stop?

I'm gonna get you promoted.

Here, read this.

Thank you.

How did you get on to this?

What do you care?

It's worth an extra, at least.

Sorry, kid.

We can't print it.

Why not?

It's because we've been asked to lay off.

Hear the papers, too, until the government cracks the case.

What if they don't land Bailey?

We miss a swell story.

They'll get him.

Ah, they've been saying that for 15 years.

So what?

What do you want me to do about it?

I want you to assign me to this story exclusively.

Give me a free hand -caught blanch and all the expense money I need.

Stop pipe -draining.

Oh, listen, Maxie,

we've caught criminals while Steve and the local police were chasing red

herrings.

I'll bet you 20 bucks against yesterday's herald that I find Bailey before

Gilbert does.

What can you lose?

If I flop and the Secret Service takes Bailey, I'm still on the inside,

and you scoop the country on a government story.

I don't like it, Torchy.

Now, Bailey isn't supposed to be a killer.

But if he's corny, he'll bite and scratch like the other rats.

Well, this cat can do a little scratching on her own, too, you know.

What do you say?

All right.

I'll give you the assignment on two conditions.

Name them.

First, that you don't interfere with Steve or Gilbert in any way,

and you don't let them know what you're doing.

Oh, Maxie, you're a honey.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Thank you.

You know what I think this means?

What?

That bill they asked me about is counterfeit.

You're a bright boy.

That's why I'm going to give you a job.

Oh, but I don't want no job.

I'm on me vacation.

Never mind.

I want you to go out and rent me a bloodhound.

A bloodhound?

Yes, the kind of a pooch that can smell his way around.

And step on it.

I'm going to make you one of the biggest police heroes in the country.

Yeah, but I don't want to be a hero.

I just want to play me system.

Listen, two and two isn't going to be five all your life.

Now go on.

Go on.

No, I never know my own mind.

Hello, license bureau.

I want to talk to Jimmy Higgins.

I came to the Federal Reserve all day.

The government man didn't show.

Good.

Give this to the professor.

Did you make much of a hold?

Tell the boys I'll be out later.

Right.

Thank you.

Hi.

Whistles.

Hello, kid.

Meet Blitzen.

That's German for lightning.

It acts like he was hit with it.

I thought I told you to get a bloodhound.

Oh, listen, the way Blitzen can stiff a cradle,

may a bloodhound look like he had a cold.

Who sold you that, Bill of Goods?

Schmidt and a boy store.

Blitz got a big police rating in Germany and Scandinavia and worked Scotland

Yard.

Which you're luck owns.

Yeah.

You didn't need any of the birdseed in that store, did you?

I tell you, he's the McCoy.

He don't even speak English.

Oh, that's fine.

We don't speak German.

All we need is a dialect.

Schmidt gave me a book on how to order Blitzen around.

How to pronounce the words and everything.

Tell him to sit up and show some signs of life.

Sit up.

Sit up.

Blitzen, set stick.

Are you listening?

Set stick.

You're sure that's German you're talking.

No, that's what it says in the book.

Maybe he doesn't like your accent.

I made a mistake.

I told him to sit down, and he's doing that already.

You see?

You can't hold him.

That's what they say about horse flies.

Give me that book.

Blitzen.

Come, mit Meijer.

Come, mit Meijer.

Come, mit Meijer.

Come, mit Meijer.

Now, goof, remember, sie das.

First day?

Shh.

Don't first day so loud.

Pipe and sie down.

Say, what's the idea of having a dog sniff the tire?

I put creosote on the tires.

It'll leave a scent on the road that'll last for days.

Oh.

Now, all we have to do is wait for Gilbert.

It may be long in a few minutes, and then again, it may be hours.

Well, as long as we have to wait for Gilbert.

Wait.

How about sitting in my car?

Your car?

Sure.

There it is.

My sister paid for it.

Come on.

6 times 6 is 37.

Hey, you know, I think I got this stuff down pat now.

Let's see.

Stand up.

Stay off.

That's right.

Uh, sit up.

Ma -hu -bitch.

What?

Ma -hu -bitch.

Oh, listen, Gahagan.

Kiss me.

Oh, Tawchee, I can't.

What would Steve say?

Oh, you stoop.

I'm not asking you to kiss me.

It's a phrase here in the book.

Look.

I've got to learn that and spring it on, Steve.

Give me your ein and curse.

Hey, what's the big idea?

Ha -ha.

You ask for it.

I told you, you can't fool him.

Hey, look.

Is that him?

Yeah, that's him.

Don't listen.

I mean, Gahagan.

After him, but not too close.

He's going the same way he did last night.

Let him get ahead.

There's the detour sign now.

Pull over to the side and stop.

Come on.

Come, Sir Rec.

In the car.

Get high, Nene.

Get high, Nene.

We'll have to stop and let him sniff it.

In every road it turns off.

Come on.

Didn't I tell you that pooch knew his onions?

Hope he doesn't get them mixed up with that creosote.

What does that mean?

It means it's the end of the road.

Blitzen must have given us a wrong steer.

I don't believe it.

We must overlook some turning off place.

Well, then let's drive back.

Hey, Torchy, ain't that a gauge?

Yes.

Wait a minute.

This must be the place.

Come on.

Shh.

It's locked.

All right.

Do you have to climb over?

Oh, nice.

Oh, nice.

Yes.

What about me?

Never mind you, Sue.

Get over here.

I feel that something's going to happen to my pants.

Nothing's going to happen to your pants.

Go on.

Hey, that's Gilbert now.

I'll bet the old geezer's another secret service man.

Gee, I'd sure like to get a load of what they're talking about.

Why don't you go inside?

You could hear better.

Where'd you come from?

Shh!

Quiet, silly Blitzen.

Hello, buddy.

Remember me?

Of course I remember you.

Well, so they got the state's attorneysmen working on the case, huh?

Quiet, Blitzen.

He's a cop, too.

Say, what was your name again?

Stonem.

Stonem.

This is Officer Stonem.

This is Torchy Plain as a morning herald.

Lieutenant McBride's financing.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Shall we go inside?

Go in.

Yes, let's go in for down.

All right.

Come on, Bletland.

Oh, after you, please.

Well, Miss Blaine.

Oh, Mr.

Gilbert.

Come in.

What a persistent pursuer.

It's the ink in my blood, I guess.

I'm just as anxious to meet this Mr.

Bailey as you are.

Well, before we talk about that, tell me, how did you manage to trail me?

Crier salt on your tire.

Oh, I see.

You remember you were sure like home.

That's right.

But I'm afraid we're a couple of stupid Dr.

Watson's, and is my face red?

Oh.

Well, I wouldn't worry about that.

Won't you sit down?

You said you were anxious to meet Mr.

Bailey, didn't you?

You said it.

Stick around.

You may have that pleasure any minute.

You mean you know where Bailey is?

Well, I have a pretty good idea.

And you're going to let me in on it?

Well, I think such devotion to duty deserves a reward.

You've caught him?

Well, no, not exactly.

You see, Mr.

Bailey has done the catch.

Oh, Bailey's done the catch.

What?

Professor, suppose you present, Mr.

Bailey.

Nothing would give me greater pleasure.

Miss Blaine, permit me to present Mr.

Bailey.

Hey, what's the gag?

It's no gag.

I get it now.

And Steve thought...

That I was Mr.

Gilbert of the Secret Service.

No, my dear, there is no Mr.

Gilbert.

We manufactured credentials and sold them to Steve,

along with some notes that fooled him in the Secret Service.

Gee, those feds must be dumb dicks.

Oh, quite on the contrary.

They are very smart operators.

Their only mistake is not studying my methods...

Carefully, as I study things.

Oh, I see.

And now,

may I present the professor engraver to America's number one counterfeiter.

And may I add, for Mr.

Gahagan's benefit, he wrote the letters you so faithfully delivered to Mr.

Brennan and Mr.

McTavish.

How do you like that?

Dinner is soy.

Oh, but you don't have to stand on ceremony with our friends.

They're going to be with us for several repasts.

OK, then come and get it.

How did you find the soup?

Oh, I just looked into the dish and there it was.

And it was swell.

So I heard.

Oh, well, don't misunderstand me, Miss Blake.

I think Steve is a great guy.

And I can understand your affection for him.

But you must admit that his appeal is...

well, shall we say, one of, uh, brawn rather than brain?

Well, let's just wait until the case is finished.

Did you know last laughs and all that sort of thing?

Pick up your mints.

Steak!

Oh, you must have known I was coming.

So you were partial to steaks, Miss May?

Ah -ha.

It's fondest thing I is of.

Sure.

She's always pressed to save the buyer of fillet mignon.

And he doesn't?

How ungolent?

Possibly he's too much of a gourmet to indulge what he considers a plebeian

palate.

Hey, let's cut out the dirty cracks about Steve.

You can't blame him for being fooled when you took in the government, Dex.

Should make a swell story.

I'd sure love to write it.

But maybe I'm not gonna write any more stories, huh?

Well, of course you are, Miss Blaine.

We'll detain you only until I've finished my little job at the trap.

And when will that be?

Well, that depends upon another charming and unpredictable member of your sex.

Lady, look.

This looks like a kidnapping to me.

And you know what that means.

The feds will get us if it takes them 10 years.

And we'll all wind up in the electric chair.

He's right.

There shouldn't be any witnesses.

There shouldn't even be a corpus delicti.

Oh, I know.

I only reassured her so she wouldn't suffer while she waits for it.

Now, we need something that'll destroy all evidence.

But something humane.

A can of nitroglycerin with a clock set to go off after we leave.

That's it.

Arrange it.

In the meantime, Gloomy, you and Bugs humor him.

Give him anything they want.

Remember, tomorrow's getaway day.

We'll really take him tomorrow.

Hello.

Hello, Maxie.

You know where Torchy is?

You know, Steve, she hasn't been in this morning.

Well, where can she be?

The landlady said she wasn't home all night.

Well, that doesn't sound much like Torchy.

Listen, Maxie, is she working on this Bailey thing?

Well, in a way, but she won't interfere with you or the government, boys.

Well, I told you to keep her out of it.

Now, if she comes in, have her calling.

Now, something going wrong?

Miss Blaine's disappeared.

No.

She's sticking her nose in this Bailey case.

I don't like it.

Well, I wouldn't worry about that if I were you.

She strikes me as a girl who can take care of herself.

It's late.

I'd better get to the track.

OK, let's go.

Yeah, give me iron force.

Ah.

Now, give me the other, um, pardon me, the iron and, uh, yes,

I'll give you L -I -B -E -R.

Say, I just told her something.

I got to get out of here.

Sit down.

Huh?

Sit down.

Well, how long are you going to keep us here?

Bailey's told you when he's finished what he's doing.

Now, sit down.

Well, he hadn't better keep us here long.

Why not?

Well, Schmitt, I'll let me have the dog for a day.

And if I don't get him back, he'll be looking for me.

He will?

Sure.

That poacher's white doe.

Cost me 50 bucks to rent him.

Say, listen, this dog hasn't been out all day.

I oughta take him.

I'll take him.

You can't.

You don't talk his language.

Let her take him.

The boss told us to humor them.

All right.

We'll all go.

Come on, Blitzen.

Come with me.

Come on, Flatfoot.

You can't call me.

Why not?

Well, I...

I just don't like the word.

That's all.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

Listen, go there and start something.

Huh?

Go do something to attract their attention.

What do I do?

I don't care anything, but keep them busy.

Yeah, but what do I do?

Go on, go on, go on.

Oh, no.

Oh!

What's the big idea, Flatfoot?

Get high.

Not house.

Schnell.

Hey.

What are you trying to do?

Bring the cops?

Here, wait a minute.

Hey, you.

You.

Come here.

Yeah.

Get in the house.

Both of you.

Perlin and two of his men showed up at the Federal Museum.

Okay, hop out and tell the boys to get everything with it to blow.

Right.

I'll teach McBride after the last race.

He's going to professor where to meet me.

He works for McBride, don't he?

Suppose the guy that owns the pooch goes to McBride,

and he puts two and two together.

I'm told McBride is rather bad at putting two and two together.

You know, your idea was more melodramatic than practical.

But since you folks seem to fancy the melodramatic, we'll give you some.

Ropes, gags, secret panels, and all the rest.

Go through it, folks.

Okay.

Maybe I should have married Steve and had babies.

Yeah?

Let me know if she comes in, will you?

Thanks.

Goodbye.

Thanks a lot, buddy.

Okay, everybody.

Hello, Blitzen.

Bill, come here.

Well, well, let's get Hagan's, huh?

Mr.

Gill, I haven't been able to find Miss Blaine yet.

I'm getting worried about her.

Well, I don't think you have anything to be worried about, Steve.

Well, I'm willing to bet she'll be phoning you before the night is over,

asking you to buy her a steak.

Steak?

Yes, you were telling me how fun Miss Blaine is at steak.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

I think I'd better take a taxi into town, Steve.

I've got some things to run down.

Why don't you come along with me?

I'll drive you to the place you want to go.

Well, this is confidential.

I'd better go along.

Well, maybe you can help me.

Why?

How?

Well, maybe Miss Blaine has got mixed up with Bailey's.

And you know the ropes about him better than I do.

Come on, do me a favor.

Well, all right.

Oh, oh, oh.

Listen.

It was hostage.

He should bark.

He would think the fifty dollars come out of his pocket.

But, Mama, we don't lose the fifty bucks, sir.

I tell you, Gahagan comes tomorrow.

So, and I tell you, Gahagan has screamed out.

What?

He told you he needs the dog for police work.

Yes.

And his landlady told me he is out of the police department.

When she said this?

Just now.

I was just talking to her over the telephone.

And she said he wasn't there yesterday, he wasn't there today,

he wasn't there tonight, and he wasn't there tomorrow.

Mama.

Sweetheart.

You know, Gahagan is a friend of a Lieutenant McBarrack's.

Only if Gahagan don't come tomorrow, I will see Lieutenant myself.

Why put off from today till tomorrow?

It should be done yesterday.

Mama.

Hush, mouth.

What?

You said it.

Why don't you?

Why don't we set the clock and blow out of here?

No.

Why not?

Because the boss may have changed his plans.

You don't think that copper McBride could have had a brainstorm, do you not?

McBride hasn't got the material required for a brainstorm.

Papa.

What are you doing with Blitzen?

I'm doing nothing with Blitzen.

You are doing it.

What am I doing?

You are going to Lieutenant McBride and getting the $50.

But, Mama, I can go alone.

I don't need a door.

But maybe the Lieutenant wouldn't believe you.

This policeman wants evidence, and Blitzen is the evidence.

Now go.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah, Blitzen, that's the trouble, Madolce.

You are living my life, and I'm living yours.

That's nice.

And come, Anishina, house or on again.

Gee, I wish the boss had told us what time to set the blast off.

No, don't worry.

He'll call us.

Yeah, but it's seven o 'clock.

Now, what's keeping him?

Calm yourselves, boys.

Bailey knows what he's doing.

Hey, Dad!

Oh!

What did you say Gahagan wanted the dog for?

For some police work.

He wanted to follow a skint.

You mean a scent?

Yeah, skint.

Gahagan wasn't working on any of the case, was he?

No, but somebody else was.

Somebody who might need Gahagan.

Who?

Miss Blaine.

She's been missing for two days.

Now we find out Gahagan's been missing too.

And this dog that he hired comes back, alone.

It's Clara's day, Chief.

They're being held somewhere.

And the dog got away.

What do you think, Gil?

Well, I think you boys are trying to hatch a plot.

Well, there isn't one.

Gahagan's probably been playing that system with the track you told me about.

Making more money than he was accustomed to and has gone to his head.

Well, what about the dog and the scent?

Well, he hires a valuable dog to impress someone.

Gives Smith a cock and bull story so he won't charge him too much.

Then,

since he's probably lost his shirt at the track and hasn't affected a pay,

he's standing Smith off.

That's nice.

Well, there may be something in that.

What about Miss Blaine?

Well, you yourself told me how eccentric she is and her way of working.

I wasn't predictable.

I'm still willing to bet you, Steve,

that she'll be in here before the night is over with a scoop for her paper.

And ask you to buy her a stake.

I hope you're right.

Well, I've got to see McTabbas.

You fellas, stay right here, will you?

Yes, but what about my 50 bucks?

You'll get your 50 bucks as you stay here, too.

Steve, really, I should be going.

Oh, do me a favor and stick around a couple hours, will you, Gil?

I'm a little worried.

I might need you.

I'd do the same for you.

Well, if you insist.

Yeah, I'd appreciate it.

Mm -hmm.

Oh, my God.

Uh, uh, uh, uh.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh?

Biffle, Rooette.

Didn't she hear the man promises to 50 buckses?

Smart dog.

Hello?

Captain, Mr.

Gilbert.

Hey, I'm going to be detained a little while.

Yeah.

Now, I won't want very much to eat.

Just set the regulator on the stove for, uh, eight o 'clock.

Go ahead to the show.

Okay, honey, I'll see you later.

At least it has to set the clock for eight and then get out of here.

Go to it, Bugs.

Right.

Great.

Sergeant, give me those bluffs of behagans, the ones he left in the car.

Here they are, Chief.

All right, come out here, fellas.

Gil, I just had a brainstorm.

I got a hunch to talk to you in Behagan Arby and Hell someplace,

and this dog can lead us to him.

Well, Steve, you're going storybook on it.

Well, maybe so, but what have we got to lose?

Let's climb in a squad car, see what we can find.

Oh, well, count me out, Steve.

I haven't very time for this kindergarten stuff.

Oh, be a good guy.

Come on and bring that dog.

Come on, Smitty.

All right, boys, pile in.

Get in there, Smitty.

Give me that dog.

Oh, yeah?

Don't know where we're going, but we'll get the general direction from a dog.

Here, boy.

Take a smell of this.

Now, find him.

Tell him to get going.

Game the finger here, Hagin.

Get your finger, Hagin.

He's headed for the east highway.

Get up to him.

Come on.

Go, go, go.

Let's go.

Looks like this is it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Come on, let's go.

Listen, come here.

All right, over you go.

Hey Gil, come on.

Well, I'll wait out here, Steve.

This is your show.

You don't need me.

Listen, we might have to break in.

You'll want Uncle Sam behind us.

Come on.

Something funny about this thing.

No one upstairs, Chief.

There's no one down here either.

Well, there you see, Steve.

What so I'll do, Chase?

Come on, let's go.

Wait a minute.

What's your hurry?

Come on.

I've got an appointment, Steve.

Really, I can stay.

Oh, don't worry about that.

Let's stick around a while.

Yeah, but, what do you mean?

What are you going to do?

Let's sit down a minute.

Maybe something will happen.

What, what can happen?

Oh, I don't know.

Sit down and see.

Oh, listen, Steve.

I'm better with this horse play.

I'm going.

Yeah.

Sit down.

Well, Bailey, looks like the show is over.

What did you say?

You heard me.

Where's Torchy?

Oh, I don't know what you're talking about.

I think you're out of your mind, but let's talk about her outside.

What's the matter with right here?

Look, I'd like to see you make a fool of yourself this way and...

And what?

Well, Steve, we've got to get out of here.

We can't stay here another minute.

Bailey, what's eating you?

It's a nitro bomb.

It'll go off in a minute.

Where is it?

It's in the cellar.

Quick, boys, douse it.

Where's Torchy and Gahyck?

I'll show you.

What are you doing now?

There she is.

Torchy!

Mary, put the cuffs on here.

Now, will you mind your own business?

Oh, girl, you're our owner.

Oh, Mr.

Kepner, I was never so glad to see anybody in all my life.

What was that crack you made about brains and brawn, Mr.

Bailey?

Well, I guess I made a mistake.

One little slip, Bailey, but it was enough.

What is that?

Twice you popped off about Torchy liking steaks.

I may be a dumb dick, Bailey, but I know I never told you anything about that.

So you must have got it from Torchy, which meant you'd been torched.

I didn't know anything about it.

That's pretty thin, Steve.

Well, it was enough to give me a hug.

to check up on you.

So tonight, when I told you I had to see McTavish, I called up Brennan.

He said he didn't know any Gilbert in a secret service.

So I figured you were a phony.

And those notes that sold you to me and the captain were forgeries.

Isn't he the dumbest thing?

So then I knew you must be Bailey and had Torchy and Gahagan.

I knew I couldn't break you down, so our only chance was a dog.

Whoever broke him loose really deserves a credit.

But thank Torchy.

Oh, thank Gahagan.

Well, have a chill, boy.

What about my 50 boxes?

You'll get your 50 boxes.

Blitz, for you that gives sliver.

You're welcome.

Ha ha.