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1
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,000
[Kate] Mmm.
2
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,160
[chuckles]
3
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:17,800
[Anthony] What?
4
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:22,320
-Just a sec.
-No, baby, no, no, no!
5
00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,560
Just do it here. Come on. You won't get
back in if you get out now.
6
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:25,800
Seriously, Anthony, let me go.
7
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:26,920
It's going to come out on its own!
8
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,040
No, you have to learn.
9
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,360
-Anthony, I'm going to hit you.
-Ah.
10
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:30,560
Stay in the bed!
11
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,640
Just put your bum out over the edge
and just let it go.
12
00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,160
Please. It's just a fart.
13
00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:37,520
Oh, my God.
14
00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:47,720
It's shy now. Don't look at me.
15
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,160
-You're beautiful.
-[chuckles]
16
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,240
-[farts] Oh, God.
-Oh!
17
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,600
Excellent.
18
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:53,920
[farts and gasps]
19
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:55,600
Wow!
20
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:56,880
[continues farting]
21
00:00:58,600 --> 00:00:59,640
[chuckles]
22
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:00,960
-Was that...
-Oh, my God. Get out.
23
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,120
[laughing] Oh, my god.
24
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,640
-Oh, my God, did you just...
-Don't look!
25
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,240
Stop it! Get out!
26
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,560
-Baby, it's lino, it's lino!
-[screams]
27
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,000
[sobs]
28
00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:23,400
[theme song playing]
29
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,920
I can't help you unless
you tell me what happened.
30
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,880
The only significant detail
is that she's annoyed with me
31
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,360
for something that wasn't
in any way my fault.
32
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,640
But it probably was your fault
33
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,760
so why don't you break a habit
of a lifetime and apologize?
34
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,280
-Do you still have my Frankfurter shirt?
-Yes.
35
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,840
Just say you're sorry.
You don't have to mean it.
36
00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,440
-This is really complicated.
-Just turn it inside out.
37
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,520
And you're the one who can
never apologize.
38
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,480
What the hell have you done to my T-shirt?
39
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,560
My T-shirt. And I'm always apologising.
40
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,280
Do people really do this every month?
41
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:52,720
Can you explain to me what
you are wearing, please?
42
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:54,920
It's a onesie, it's very chic.
43
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,360
-Tell me what happened.
-Well, you look like a child.
44
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,680
[scoffs] Thank you. Tell me what happened.
45
00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:00,400
What do you mean about
me not apologising...
46
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,720
-Jesus, just turn it inside out!
-Oh, OK, OK, OK, OK.
47
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,880
[grunts] OK.
48
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,160
Just tell me what happened and
I'll tell you if it was your fault.
49
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,360
Well, come on. I'm getting panicky
in my onesie.
50
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,720
I'm not telling you anything ever again.
51
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,320
You just end up telling
the whole hospital.
52
00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,640
-That was a misunderstanding.
-[mocking]
53
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:22,520
And you should have apologised like I did,
you arsehole.
54
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,920
I won't take the piss or tell anyone,
55
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:26,400
I promise.
56
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:29,280
She was...
57
00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:31,600
Doing a fart
58
00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,160
and it turned into a poo
over the side of the bed.
59
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:37,440
And she's blaming me
60
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,480
because I wouldn't let her out of the bed
to do the fart.
61
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,640
Um, if you're laughing,
I'm going to suffocate you.
62
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,600
-[chuckles]
-You're laughing. You're laughing!
63
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,280
[Lulu] I'm not laughing!
64
00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,440
Give me the corners,
just give me the corners!
65
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,200
[laughing] Tried to do a poo!
66
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,160
Did you tell management about your door?
67
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:58,800
-Management?
-Yeah, when you registered.
68
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:01,480
Registered?
69
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,280
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
70
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,400
I'm so sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
71
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,040
Oh, please forgive me.
72
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,040
-So, it's you.
-[gasps]
73
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:16,400
It's an emergency
74
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,280
and this is the first time I've done it.
75
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:19,880
Colin has gone.
76
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,240
[chuckles] To the dentist.
77
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,880
-He'll come back.
-What if he doesn't?
78
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,480
What the hell am I supposed to paint?
79
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,160
[Sam] So, this is the sexiest property
we have on our books.
80
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,000
Two beds, one kitchen,
bunch of walls, big window.
81
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,400
And the shower has excellent pressure.
82
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,520
A screaming bargain, mate.
83
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,560
-What about the owners, are they...
-In Ibiza.
84
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,000
Ooh, a prune!
85
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,640
-Do you want anything?
-No, I'm good.
86
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,280
Hey, thanks for sneaking me in on
a weekend. I really owe you one.
87
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,440
-Friend of the bitch is a friend of mine.
-[door opens and closes]
88
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:52,760
-Guys!
-Oh, hey.
89
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:55,080
Hi, hi, hi. I'm sorry I'm late.
90
00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,880
[laughs] This is a nice place!
Is this a nice place?
91
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:58,960
-Hi.
-Hi.
92
00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,040
Hi.
93
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:03,360
[Fred snickers]
94
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:04,520
Smooth, guys.
95
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,360
Whoa, look at this place!
96
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:11,800
Surfaces and skirting boards
and cupboards and...
97
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,270
An oven!
98
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,070
Can you believe people
actually live like this?
99
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,920
[chuckles] I know, it's super cute, eh?
100
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:17,800
So...
101
00:04:18,840 --> 00:04:19,640
Lunch?
102
00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,960
I really appreciate you bumping me up.
Thank you.
103
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:24,840
A guardian can fast-track
another guardian.
104
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,760
It keeps the community-feel strong.
105
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:27,840
-Indeed.
-Indeed.
106
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:31,200
OK, you are aware that if Louise
does make a tit of herself,
107
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,680
you will be accountable
for her as her referee?
108
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,680
I am. She will not let me down.
109
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:36,920
-Mmm-hmm.
-Great.
110
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,280
Now, if we can have all your documents
and the deposit.
111
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:40,640
I'm sorry, what?
112
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,440
I'm afraid we need the money up front.
113
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,440
I'm afraid I don't have any money.
114
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,000
Well, I need the money now.
115
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,080
There are a lot of people on this waiting
list who do have the money.
116
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,160
Can you hold on for a couple of hours?
117
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,760
For the money? Yes.
118
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,600
I just want the money and my superiors
want the money very much.
119
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,320
Are you working towards
anything in particular?
120
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,040
Seen any good films recently?
121
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,480
Can you take your top off?
122
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,720
-Why?
-It's just better.
123
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,600
No. [clears throat]
Sorry, that wasn't the agreement.
124
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,080
[stammering] I'm not... That's not...
125
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,360
I'm not comfortable taking my...
Being naked.
126
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,840
I understand the whole
desexualised art thing, yes.
127
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,280
But I'm just... No.
128
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,400
OK... No.
129
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:38,640
D'accord.
130
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,920
I mean, I know I shouldn't
care, not in this situation...
131
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,680
But, I hate my body and I wish
I had the sort of body confidence
132
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,680
to just drape myself all over everything,
but it's just, well...
133
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,120
It's not like I don't think I'm... No.
134
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,520
You hate your body?
135
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,760
Of course I do. Everybody does.
136
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:52,400
Everyone hates your body?
137
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,120
No, I mean... Well, probably,
if they were honest,
138
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,800
I just... I'm not the sort of person
to just, you know, take my top off
139
00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,600
and then not care that my top was off.
140
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,520
I would just never do that.
141
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,000
I'm leaving my bra on.
142
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,960
D'accord.
143
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,240
Ready for me to paint you?
144
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,520
Don't breathe.
145
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,880
[Sam] Stop hitting yourself, poodle dick!
146
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,160
Can't stop it, haven't got the energy.
147
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,160
You are out of control. Stop it, stop it!
148
00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:26,560
[laughs] Oh, my God. Stop.
149
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,680
You guys are just too funny.
150
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,240
So, how long's this been
on the market, then?
151
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,440
I'd say about 28 years.
152
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,280
I mean, there's minimal storage space
153
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,160
and there's a couple of smelly corners,
154
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,800
but it's worth it for the little willy
that comes with it.
155
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:39,800
What's on the menu?
156
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,600
Just a little something
I picked up on my travels.
157
00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,600
-He is a really good cook.
-Oh, coolio.
158
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,440
He also buys himself small companies
159
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,320
and makes them stronger
and more commercially viable.
160
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,520
Well, that's impressive.
161
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,000
You make it sound
like I work for a charity.
162
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,200
Oh, yeah, he's a Samaritan
when he's got the spare time.
163
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,120
Cool.
164
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,800
Stop it! Really.
Makes me sound like a knobber.
165
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,080
Don't tell him about the paper. [chuckles]
166
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:00,720
Fred?
167
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:03,080
Oh, yeah, he also writes a column
for a financial paper.
168
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,320
And, and he bakes!
169
00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,680
Well, hey, who doesn't love
a home-made bun?
170
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,680
Not big on carbs actually, myself.
171
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,120
-Hey, shitty tits, get my bag.
-OK.
172
00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:12,440
Don't say anything inappropriate.
173
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,520
-Get your cock out.
-What?
174
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,600
[Fred] I heard that!
175
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,080
[yells] It was a test!
176
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,440
You passed.
177
00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:24,000
-Just.
-[laughing]
178
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,560
All right, you muckers, grub's up.
179
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,120
-OK. Ready?
-[Lulu] Yeah.
180
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,520
-No leaving the room.
-Deal.
181
00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,160
In. Charm. Get the money. Out.
182
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,320
Easy. We're going to nail it.
183
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,160
[knocking]
184
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,960
-Just don't drink...
-The Golden Goo. I know.
185
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:52,680
-[gasps] Lulu!
-[Lulu] Aunt Gladys!
186
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,480
You are a vision.
187
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,240
And Anthony, what a treat!
188
00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,880
[Lulu] Little pressie!
189
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:03,400
Well, come on in, you two.
I have drinks to drown you in.
190
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:04,480
[laughing]
191
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:06,560
[Lulu] Oh!
192
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,160
[laughing continues]
193
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,520
[Sam] So, you going to put an offer in?
194
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,760
Uh... I'll think about it, sure.
195
00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,040
[laughs]
196
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,360
Hey, have you got a second?
197
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,720
-Like, now?
-Yeah.
198
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,360
-Yeah.
-Thanks, man.
199
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,080
It's not cool how you talk to Fred.
200
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:32,150
Calling him "bitch" and "pencil prick"
and "freaky tits."
201
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:35,640
I'm not a gaping arsehole.
I know it's just for laughs,
202
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:39,720
but that sort of language
is actually pretty insidious.
203
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,480
I just think you should
just dial it down a bit,
204
00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,160
before it starts making a dent.
205
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,840
You're a smart guy, you know what I mean.
206
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,480
-[toilet flushing]
-Shit, I'm sorry.
207
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,920
Yeah, of course. [stammers] I've never...
208
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,560
-Never thought of it like that.
-Thanks, man.
209
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:54,720
-I knew you'd get it.
-Sure.
210
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:55,800
[toilet door opens and closes]
211
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,400
Everyone happy?
212
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,160
Never happier, cummy bum.
213
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,280
-[spanks butt]
-[Fred] Oh, God!
214
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,800
-Home-time?
-OK.
215
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,320
[door shuts]
216
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,000
This one is a real goer.
217
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,280
I found it on the Silk Road.
218
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,200
In Asia?
219
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,160
No, no, no.
220
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,960
It's a dark Internet.
221
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,720
Awful place, all sorts of things for sale,
222
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,600
but the occasional delight.
223
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,440
-Sip it.
-Oh, no, thanks.
224
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,640
-Sip it!
-Uh, we really can't stay long.
225
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:31,320
Oh, please sip it, darling.
226
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,560
I'm just so touched you popped round.
227
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,920
No-one ever just pops round
for no reason these days.
228
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:42,280
-Sure.
-[both laugh]
229
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,000
I was actually going
to ask you for something...
230
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,440
Don't say money.
231
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:47,080
Please.
232
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,400
I couldn't bear it.
233
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:55,320
[chuckles softly]
234
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,720
And ten for ten more years
of life ahead. Chin-chin!
235
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,080
[slurry] Oh, OK!
236
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:13,080
Now, that has to be the last one,
237
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:15,320
you naughty thing, you.
238
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,480
Darling, what is this that you're wearing?
239
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,360
-It's ridiculous.
-It's a onesie.
240
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:22,440
It's divine!
241
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,440
But where does it open?
242
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,840
And how does one get in?
243
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,760
Isn't it a nightmare to get it off?
244
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,560
Nope. No, I've got the knack.
245
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,240
Honestly I can have it off
in seconds, Auntie.
246
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,320
[laughing]
247
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:38,800
Are these little poppers?
248
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,600
[Anhony] So yeah, what's...
What's up with me?
249
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:41,680
I'm working in a restaurant.
250
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,560
Oh. So are you finally in a relationship?
251
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:45,880
Well, yeah...
252
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,920
Lulu always said you would
end up together.
253
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:51,640
Living together.
254
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,240
End up living together.
255
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,840
Oh. Have I said a whoopsie?
256
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,880
Oh, never mind. [laughs]
257
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,480
-I have actually met someone.
-Oh.
258
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:03,960
-We're engaged.
-Oh! How lovely!
259
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,680
What does she look like?
Is she a curvy girl?
260
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,080
No. She's slim.
261
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,560
Is she? Ooh.
262
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,320
Sticky little thing, is she?
263
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,280
Petite? Is she a tiny little thing?
264
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,560
She's very smart.
265
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,040
So is she a porker, then?
266
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:20,000
Oh, lovely!
267
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,880
Oh, darling, this outfit!
268
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,600
I simply love it!
269
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,400
[laughing]
270
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,080
-Listen, Auntie, we really...
-[clicks tongue]
271
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:34,280
My best friend died this morning.
272
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:37,680
Where is the toilet again?
273
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,320
Oh, yes.
274
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:44,320
It's at the very, very, very,
very top of the stairs.
275
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,040
-You might be some time.
-Yup.
276
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,320
Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
277
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,320
You two will come to each
other eventually.
278
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,840
[slurred] Can I borrow some money?
279
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:05,840
It's just...
280
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,920
You go through your whole life...
281
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,400
And then you shit
on your boyfriend's floor.
282
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:14,440
Did he like it?
283
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,480
You never know. Everyone finds
something weird sexy.
284
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,040
What do you find sexy?
285
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,880
I can hardly remember
why I've got a vagina.
286
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,440
-You guys don't have sex?
-No, we do, just...
287
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,680
The downstairs response is rare
288
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,120
and very specifically prompted.
289
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:33,480
What do you think it wants?
290
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,720
-Well...
-[shouts] What do you want?
291
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,440
-Jesus!
-[laughs]
292
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,080
Let's see if she gets back to us.
293
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,200
Do you like sex?
294
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,280
[chuckles softly]
295
00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:47,280
Silly question.
296
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:48,880
Is it?
297
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,520
Are you all right?
298
00:12:57,640 --> 00:12:59,080
Do you have a toilet she could use,
please?
299
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,120
Hmm.
300
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:04,680
-[Anthony] She won't be long.
-Mmm.
301
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,720
-[door slams]
-[Lulu] No, no, no, no.
302
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,560
[grunts]
303
00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:20,400
[grunts loudly]
304
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,160
[screams] Let me out!
305
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,360
[gasps and urinates]
306
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,480
-[mobile phone ringing]
-Excuse me.
307
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:36,760
Hi. Yeah.
308
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,360
OK. Bye.
309
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:41,360
Excuse me.
310
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,440
Why do you want to be a property guardian?
311
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:01,520
Yes.
312
00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:03,520
OK.
313
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:05,480
Have you got the money? The deposit?
314
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:06,840
Do you take cash?
315
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,160
Any money. Just the money would be great.
316
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,520
Just give him the money, Lu.
317
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,720
I don't trust him.
318
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,720
Great. Thank you for joining
the guardian programme.
319
00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,320
You seem like the perfect candidate.
320
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,320
[Kate] You're so beautiful.
321
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:35,800
Oui.
322
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,840
How are you so confident?
323
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,760
Well, it's not useful to anyone for me
to be ashamed of myself.
324
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,520
They want us to hate our bodies.
325
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:47,040
It's how they control us.
326
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,560
-Oh, my God.
-Super!
327
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,360
-Oh, fuck off, they're amazing!
-[laughs]
328
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,840
I'm even more depressed than ever now.
329
00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,920
Do you really like Colin?
330
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,400
-Of course.
-Why?
331
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:21,640
Because he's given up.
332
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,000
And that's attractive to you?
333
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:23,960
Right.
334
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,120
He just wants to be small and good and...
335
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,040
Because of that he is huge and beautiful.
336
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,480
Everyone wants to be big.
337
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,600
It's bullshit.
338
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,320
And he won't fuck me. Which I love.
339
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,200
Why do you like Anthony?
340
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,400
Have you got any more wine?
341
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:49,520
Oui.
342
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:50,920
Have you got any more paint?
343
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:04,920
Yo, titty-face, what are you doing?
344
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:06,680
Do you want to give me a massage?
345
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:09,280
I got your special ice cream.
346
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,480
-Hey.
-Oh. Hey.
347
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,960
Hey! We're watching Blue Planet.
348
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,320
-The whales are extraordinary.
-Whales are extraordinary.
349
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,800
Oh, they're powerful creatures.
350
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,200
-Fred, are you eating normal ice cream?
-Hmm.
351
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,680
He shouldn't be eating normal ice cream.
352
00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,480
I've got him the sugar-free variety.
353
00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,280
I've got quite a few friends
who are diabetic so...
354
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,200
Sure.
355
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,520
So I know where to get the good stuff.
356
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,280
Do you want to try some?
357
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,200
Nah, no.
That stuff's just a little less creamy.
358
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:34,680
Hey, Sam. You want to join?
359
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,600
-[women screaming]
-What was that?
360
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,800
-Don't worry, I'll find out what that is!
-I'll make sure we're safe!
361
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:41,600
[screaming]
362
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,440
That's not a danger scream.
363
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,240
That's a jovial scream.
364
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,480
[screaming continues]
365
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,280
[Anthony] Please
don't tell her I'm smoking.
366
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,080
She doesn't show me her body.
367
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,640
Because of the secret willy
she hides in the crease?
368
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,110
If it was only that simple.
369
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,240
She gets undressed under the duvet
and she farts in the hall.
370
00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:11,590
You've always farted in bed.
371
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:12,960
I'm farting while I'm saying this.
372
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,200
I just wish she'd let go a bit,
you know, laugh at herself a bit.
373
00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:21,960
Just wish she was more...
374
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,160
That really smells, doesn't it?
375
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,110
That's the most disgusting
thing I've ever tasted.
376
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,200
Thank you.
377
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,480
I am sorry
378
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,920
that I didn't say sorry about accusing you
of trying to fuck Sam.
379
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,040
I can fuck who I like.
380
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,720
No, you can't. I have to have approval.
381
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,240
-Fuck you!
-Fuck you!
382
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,600
No, really, fuck you.
383
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:47,640
Can we stay up all night
and get really drunk together, please?
384
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:48,520
Yes!
385
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,200
You know what the greatest
tragedy about us is?
386
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:53,320
My nose?
387
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,280
No.
388
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,920
That you'd make a much better girl
and I'd make a much better boy?
389
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:57,800
No.
390
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,000
You never know when to shut up, do you?
391
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:01,440
[women screaming]
392
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,560
Whoa-ho! Party!
393
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,960
Shit. Kate's going to flip!
394
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,920
[Lulu] Whoo! What are they doing?
395
00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,320
[upbeat music playing]
396
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,240
[screaming and laughing]
397
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,840
[gasps]
398
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,520
-Baby!
-Why are you topless?
399
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,280
I'm being free. Why are you?
400
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,400
Why aren't we all?
401
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,000
[all screaming]
402
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,240
[whooping]
403
00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:39,120
Come on!
404
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:42,720
[yelling]
405
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:52,800
[gasps]
406
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,640
You did not just do that.
407
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,320
-You!
-Stop making me bum you!
408
00:18:58,360 --> 00:18:59,560
[yelling indistinctly]
409
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,920
-Colin!
-[all scream]
410
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,160
Naughty Colin!
411
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,080
No! Naughty!
412
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,000
Colin! You come back now!
413
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,120
Colin!
414
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:16,520
Whoa!
415
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,760
-Careful.
-Where have you been?
416
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,160
-The dentist!
-All day?
417
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,600
What is wrong with your mouth?
418
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,600
Were you watching Cara
and Brian shopping again?
419
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,960
No! Yes! It's OK!
420
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:29,040
I gave Cara my house keys back
and told her to budgie off.
421
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:30,560
[laughs]
422
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,520
I cannot quite believe this is my home.
423
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:36,680
You are one of us now.
424
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,480
Yes, I suppose I am.
425
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,720
[laughter continues]
426
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,240
[all] Colin!
427
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,440
Good evening.
428
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:47,960
-Thank you.
-[Anthony] Put this on.
429
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:51,720
No! These are my boobs
and they want to see the world.
430
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,600
-[all cheering]
-Oui.
431
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,520
They can see the world of the showers.
432
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:56,720
Oh!
433
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,000
[all booing]
434
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,640
I want to stay!
435
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,960
-[screaming]
-[grunts]
436
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:05,800
No, no, please!
437
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:10,400
[both urinating]
438
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,360
Hey, I know you've been
grieving your father,
439
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,320
and that can sometimes
make you act a little bit...
440
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,440
You're a bit of a prick, aren't you?
441
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,040
Yep.
442
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,240
-Don't you like it?
-No.
443
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,480
-Not at all.
-Mmm.
444
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:40,360
That's a shame.
445
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,000
Because my little bitch loves it.
446
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,360
Don't push me, Sam.
447
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:52,600
Uh-uh.
448
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,240
Just don't.
449
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:58,680
[grunting]
450
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,120
[exhales]
451
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:26,200
[sighing in relief]
452
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:29,880
Want to fuck?
453
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,240
I'm not allowed to.
454
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:40,440
-Want to fuck?
-Yeah.
455
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,560
-OK. I'm just going to pee first.
-Sure.
456
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,760
I've heard things about you.
457
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,280
Yeah, well, I've heard
things about you, too.
458
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,400
I've heard you can't poo unless
you are completely naked.
459
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:53,120
[laughs] You know, I've heard you thought
Germany was a continent so...
460
00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,440
Mmm.
461
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,320
Anthony's not going to like this.
462
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,520
[laughs] Anthony's not going
to know about this!
463
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:12,680
What happened?
464
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,760
I shat on the floor and I grew some tits.
465
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:17,040
Mmm.
466
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:18,840
I shouldn't have made you fart in bed.
467
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,160
Shh, I love you.
468
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,320
-Huh?
-I love you. Shh...
469
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:30,760
Oh, I...
470
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,480
Shh.
471
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,280
[whispers] I know you do.
472
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,440
-OK.
-Shh.
473
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,920
Baby...
474
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,240
[Anthony] Mmm-hmm?
475
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,320
I think I've been pretending.
476
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:50,400
What? Orgasms?
477
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,720
Come on, I thought we'd nailed that.
With the crying and the...
478
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,520
No. Pretending to...
479
00:22:58,600 --> 00:22:59,680
What?
480
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,160
Pretending to be in love with you.
481
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,200
[nervous chuckle]
482
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,920
Pretending to be jealous.
483
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,240
Pretending to find you funny.
484
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,840
Pretending to love you.
485
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:22,880
Sorry.
486
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:24,440
[snoring]
31658
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