Original subtitles

Previously on The L Word: Generation Q...

Oh, shit!

[Tess] I have got so much on my plate already.

[Shane] I can help with that.

Your help is how this happened.

[Shane] Let me just stay out of your way then.

-[moaning] -[Dani] Nat?

[Nat] Hey, Gigi just called me.

I can't get ready on my own,

and I didn't want you to be late.

[Taylor] It was nice to meet you.

[Alice] Yeah, you too.

[Taylor] And good luck on the show.

[Alice] You should stay and watch.

[Finley] Congratulations on the baby.

You're not supposed to know that.

Look, we're not having a baby.

[Finley] We're fine.

-We like each other, okay? -No, we don't.

And to be honest, I liked whoever

she was fucking while you were gone.

[Hendrix] My name is Samuel Hendrix.

I am your professor. I am happy you're in my class.

[Sophie] I lost a contestant

for the dating game? Can you please do it for me?

Contestant three, I choose you.

-[confetti pops] -[Alice] You're funny.

-For a regular gal. -Yeah.

[Dani] What is going on between you two?

-[Gigi] I'm just confused. -[Dani] I'm done.

[Sophie] You want to come over?

Truce.

[Maribel] I don't want to push you

into something that you're not ready for.

I want to have a baby with you.

Hey, Tess?

I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier.

All is forgiven.

[Tess] Can we just go home?

Great show.

Ah...

Uh, same-same to you.

I don't find trouble, yeah, trouble finds me

upbeat music

That's how I feel

Boo, it's spooky season

- Yeah, spooky season - Boo

It's spooky season, yeah...

Dani is in a very sensitive place right now, okay?

-Gotcha. -She's probably...

Oof, depressed, anti-social,

-all of it. Mm-hmm. -I get that.

-Hi, hi. -[Sophie] Hey.

Oh, wow. Look at you. You look so good.

Oh, thank you. You know, I feel good.

-What's up, bud? -What's up?

-Sophie thought you'd be a mess. -What? No.

I didn't say a mess.

She absolutely fucking said that.

Not a mess.

I just thought that, you know, from the breakup...

[Dani] Uh-huh. I am...

I am totally fine.

I'm more than fine, actually.

Guess who's coming to town tonight?

If it's Harry Styles, can you please get us tickets?

-Is it Harry Styles? -No.

It is way better than that.

-Okay. Doubtful. -Uh, who is it?

It's Roxy.

-Roxy? What? [laughs] -Yeah.

Wait, who's Roxy? Ooh, chocolate.

-Mm-mm, it's sausage. -Oh.

-Ooh. Um... -Sorry. [chuckles]

Roxy is Dani's bad friend.

[whispering] Ba-da, ba-da, bad...

-She-she... No. -Ooh.

-She's not bad. -Okay, yeah. The last time

she was here, you guys ended up

in an orgy in San Luis Obispo.

Shut the fuck up.

-[Sophie] Mm-hmm. -That... that was actually

a leather party in the Valley,

-and it was fun. -[Sophie] Same thing.

I love fun friends. I'm a lot of people's fun friend,

and I... that's a compliment from me.

[Dani] She said that she's gonna meet us here,

but she's, like, two hours late to everything,

so I'm not gonna hold my breath. Um,

she is going to be my wingman tonight.

-Hey. -Oh, good for you,

getting back on that horse.

-Mess no more. -Yeah.

Yeah, we are going hard this Halloween.

-Whoa. Okay. [chuckles] -Okay, now I'm scared.

[gasps] Roxy!

-[squeals, laughs] -D-Bag!

Hi.

Happy Halloween, bitch.

They're gonna end up in jail.

Well, at least they'll have you to bail them out.

Aw, babe.

We can take it to the graveyard, yeah

Singing boo-oo-oo, yeah

Boo-oo-oo, yeah

Show the living how the dead can dance

Singing boo-oo-oo, yeah

[sustained buzzing]

[snoring softly]

[buzzing stops]

[Alice] Good morning, sunshine. Wow.

You are a deep sleeper.

I grew up near a firehouse.

Learned to sleep through anything.

-For real? -[laughs] No. I took

a gummy at 2 a.m. because I woke up and

-I couldn't fall back asleep. -Well, I slept

great because I was very tired from you.

Wow.

You got heels and, like, you

look like Alice, the superstar. [laughs]

-What, this? -Yeah.

Oh, no. I dress like this for you.

[laughs]

Hey, what about tonight? Should we go to Dana's,

-and, like, dress up? -Oh, man.

I wouldn't even need a costume

for tonight. I'm, like,

halfway to Walking Dead extra.

Just missing some blood here, some dirt...

I was thinking it could be really fun

if we stay here and we do, like, a scary movie marathon?

I know you haven't left my house in two days, but...

-Yeah. -Yeah?

-Yeah, yeah. -Oh, good.

-Okay, good, good. -Yeah. Let's keep the zombie

off the streets. I like the way you think.

Yes, because I have all these

great decorations,

and I thought this could be kind of fun to, like,

-hang them all. -Wow. [laughs]

You're, like, a Halloween person.

Eh. I'm more like a girl

who steals things from work, but...

-You're a thief. [laughs] -Yes, I'm a thief.

-Good morning. Oh. Okay. -Morning breath.

Yeah, pumpkin-flavored.

Um, I was gonna make you coffee 'cause I thought,

you know, you're sick of making... coffee.

-Yeah? Okay, good. -Okay. Oh, that's really nice.

Thanks. Do you have any contact solution?

[sighs]

Mama, do you want to dress up for Halloween?

I found, I think it's Dorothy

from The Wizard of Oz...

-Let me just finish her lip. -[laughs]

Okay, I see how it is.

Doesn't she look amazing? Look at this.

[Tess] You look phenomenal.

Yeah, there you go. Check that out. Huh?

[laughs]

[Tess] I'm so happy to see that you're still faithful

to Dolly Parton.

Oh, she's my higher power.

-Patty? -Hmm?

-Ready for breakfast now? -Yeah, sure am.

-Okay. -Oh, happy Halloween.

Oh, also, the smoke machine is gonna be delivered

-at noon to the bar. -You look good.

-So, I'm gonna go sign for it. -[Tess] Cool, thanks.

What were you last year, Ma? I forget.

[Patty] What? I don't know.

[Tess] Hang on a second, I'll find a photo.

-[Shane] Here you go. -[Patty] A photo?

A photo of what?

[Tess] It's, uh... hold on.

I just got an email from the contractor.

[Patty] F... Wh... What are you talking about?

Are you good with n/naka tonight for dinner?

[Patty] Uh, how am I supposed to eat this?

Do you need a... Could you get her a spoon?

Oh, Patty, I'm sorry. Yeah, of course.

[Patty] I don't have a spoon.

-[Shane] So? -[silverware clinking]

Are you...

Are you good with n/naka? There you go.

Uh, yeah. God, Gloria is gonna be here at four,

and then, yes.

Okay.

Oh, she's gonna get cold in that. Can I grab this?

-Hey. Hey. -What?

Here, Mama. Let's get this on.

-[Patty] What? For me? -[Tess] Yeah.

[Patty] But that's not part of my costume.

[Tess] Well, you'll just wear it for now, okay?

-How's that? -Good.

[Tess] You know what? How about we go for a walk

around the reservoir before Gloria gets here?

Just you and me, Dolly. What do you say?

[Patty] I say, "Get my pocketbook."

[Southern accent] Okay, then, Mama.

I'll get your pocketbook. It's right here.

[Shane] Tess?

[Tess] Maybe we sit by the water a little while, huh?

I'll see you... later? We'll touch base?

Yes.

Bye.

You look just like the real Dolly. [laughs]

[Patty] Oh, get out of here.

[Micah] Okay, so I made a whole list of questions

for your coworker and their partner,

so when we get there, I kind of figure that...

Ta-da.

-[scoffs] No. -What?

No, I thought we nixed the avocado.

But you said you'd think about it.

Look, we're about to meet the only trans,

nonbinary parents that we know.

And?

And I don't want to be there as an avocado.

I have questions about life insurance

-on the list. -Except it's Halloween.

[Micah sighs]

And I'm pretty sure their family will be dressed up.

Okay, well, do you have

any other questions that you want to add?

[scoffs] I mean, "Why is my baby zaddy so fine?"

-[sighs] I'm serious, Maribel. -[chuckles]

-What? -Okay, just...

let me know if you think of anything, okay?

And, uh, I'm sorry,

but it's a "no" on the avocado. I love you, though.

-I do, I promise. -No.

Come on, I need another half.

- Bad bitch - I'm-a roll up in a golden

Carriage pulled by six white stallions that match

What I'm wearing, I walk in

And my status is apparent

And I fan myself with feathers while I yawn in Paris

My hair and my nails and the heels that I'm on

All look like the candy I got on my arm

You can't taste the candy I got on my arm

-Angie! -Oh...

-Hi. Oh, my God, guess what? -Hi.

I got my first professional gig.

-What? Oh! -I'm a paid actor.

-Oh! Oh, my God! -[squeals]

That's incredible. Bella.

I'm the only undergrad freshman who made it.

Well, except for this one other person,

but who cares about her. You have to come see me tonight.

It's one night only.

Oh, that's such a bummer.

I-I just... I-I can't.

-What? No. -Yeah,

I have this... I have this exam that I have to study for.

Yeah, but you always have to study.

It's like... you're missing college.

I-I know. I'm-I'm really sorry,

but, you know, I know you're gonna kill it.

[stammers] Got to go, break a leg.

Angie.

Let them eat cake

Let them eat cake, let them eat it

You got to eat that cake

Let them eat cake, let them eat cake

I'd like to do the alternative assignment.

[Hendrix] Okay, have you

decided which work you want to use?

r. erica doyle's proxy.

Right, okay. So...

all you have to do is reimagine that in a different medium.

You could do a movement piece,

a culinary work of art, a short film...

-See you, Hendrix. -Hey, uh, have a good day, Ben.

[Benny] Thanks.

Happy Halloween.

[student] Hey, thanks. You, too.

Oh, are you going to the...

[conversation continues indistinctly]

gentle music

Hi.

How do you always smell so good?

-[door opens] -[coughs]

[Benny] Sorry, I... left my phone on the table.

All good, Ben.

See you.

[chuckles]

"Spooky Scary Skeletons" by LVCRFT

Spooky, scary skeletons send shivers

Down your spine

Shrieking skulls will shock your soul

And seal your doom tonight...

[Maribel] You should've worn the avocado.

I stand by my choice.

You know...

I hope you're happy.

Oh. Yeah, no. I-I...

-[retches] -Fuck!

Oh, shit. Fuck.

-[crying] -[Maribel] Micah, language.

Shoot, shoot, shoot.

I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hey, I'm sorry. Are you okay?

-Oh, my God. -You're okay, baby. Hey.

Hey, Maribel.

-Hey, you made it. -[Maribel] Hi, Reese.

-This is Micah. Micah, Reese. -Hi, nice to meet you.

-This is Phoenix. -Hi, Phoenix. Hey...

-So sorry about your shoe. -No, I...

Thank you for inviting us.

Yes, of course. I'm happy you're here.

[Max] Phoenix?

Oh, sweetheart.

-Here, go to nibi. -Come here.

-This is my partner, Max. -[Maribel] Hi.

Hi. It's nice to meet you both.

Yeah. No, uh, same. Yeah.

Are you all right? Does your tummy hurt?

All right, what do we say we lay off the sugar

-for a little bit? Yeah? Cool. -Okay.

[Phoenix groans]

And, um, if you follow me,

I can get you a wet wipe for that shoe.

I'm sorry, okay?

I-I think I made this all a lot worse.

-Not at all. -[Reese chuckles]

Let me tell you, puke is just a part of it.

-[Reese] Yes. -I mean, really. Yeah.

-Come with me. -[Micah] Okay.

-Learning so much already. -[chuckles]

[chuckles] Well, let's get you a drink.

-Yeah. [laughs] -Let's go.

[Reese] It's good to see you out of the office.

[Maribel] Right?

But the publishing process just takes

so goddamn long that, by the time my debut dropped,

I felt like a different writer,

and I can't even read it now, so...

Yeah, I'm glad nobody else read it.

-Mm... Mm. -Stop.

-Yep. -No. Stop.

[laughs] I'm so sorry.

I'm, like, on chapter six of the audio book.

Oh, my gosh. It's like you are sniffing my dirty laundry.

-No. -I love that for me.

[laughs] No. What... um...

Um...

I'm sorry. I don't think I should be here.

What?

Yeah.

-No, no. It's okay. -[scoffs]

Why'd you think I wanted to go out on Halloween so bad?

I just thought you really liked malt balls or something.

No, no, no, no. It is because we can be us.

We're in disguise,

and we're gonna have a good night.

-[laughs] Okay. -Come on.

-[howling sound plays] -There's a haunted house.

-Sorry, a what? -[laughs]

-Oh, my gosh. -No, no, no, no.

-No, no, no, no, no. -Oh, my God. Yes!

-Come on. -Oh, my God.

[indistinct chatter, screaming]

-Okay. -[Angie] Come on, it's just

the drama department. It's not gonna be scary at all.

Uh...

Okay. Um, but,

if I see a clown... Mm-mm.

There's not gonna be a clown.

-Are you sure? -Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Can...

How do you see where you're stepping? Like...

upbeat music

Show me your city

Space it right

Show me your city

Shine bright

Oh, oh, ooh, babe...

-She's cute. -Duh. She looks like a mistake.

-[chuckles] -Yeah, but, like,

the good kind.

Hello?

[Dani] Shane? No.

[Roxy] What? She's fucking hot.

[Dani] Uh...

She-She's got a serious girlfriend.

Yeah, she'd probably still sleep with you anyway.

[Roxy] Oh, shit. I don't fuck with that.

[Finley] What are you starting rumors for?

She's with Tess. They're, like,

fucking married.

Come here, Finn.

I just think that, the other day, I...

[Roxy] What about her?

I sort of, maybe, saw something and...

No way. Bullshit.

You're nuts. Hey, uh,

these are from the folks over in the booth.

Let me know if you guys need anything else, okay?

-Well, look at that. -Oh.

-Cheers. -Thank you.

Well, what am I? Fucking invisible?

-No. You're just not single. -Mm.

Okay, but they don't know that.

[sighs] What's wrong with me?

[Roxy] Well, the costume's not great.

-[Dani] She's right. -Oh, come on.

Are you kidding me right now?

Look at this shit right here. Look at this gangster shit.

[Roxy] Yeah, we're looking at it.

[Dani] It's not good.

I am "raining cats and dogs." Meow, ruff, ruff.

-Definitely not. -No.

[Sophie] Really? Come on,

it's funny. I made this.

-Yeah, I can tell. -Aw, fuck.

[Roxy] Look, you're hot, but the costume's not.

Come with us. Let's-let's fix this.

All right. I spent the whole day at Ross's

putting this together. You know, in that section

where they got all the crystals and stuff?

[Dani] That's clear. Less clothing, less is more.

[Sophie] It's Halloween.

[laughter, chatter]

So, they actually carried our first child.

-Can you hold? -Yeah, it was totally unplanned.

[Max] It was before Reese and I were together. I was dating this

gay cis guy, and he was, like...

he turned out to be the worst.

[scoffs] Yeah, no, I, uh...

I dated one of those, too, so...

And our middle two is from my first marriage.

The boring old hetero way.

[Max] And then we adopted Phoenix

from foster care last year.

-Hey, Phoenix? -[Phoenix] Yeah?

[Max] Honey, will you come and eat some

-of this turkey jerky? -Thank you, nibi.

She is gonna crash big-time.

Wait, so do they call you both nibi?

Or where did that come from?

Oh, no, no, no. So, I'm dama and Max is nibi.

[Maribel] That's so cute.

[Reese] Yeah, we like it.

[Max] Yeah, we just sort of figured, you know,

-"dad" is just a sound. -Mm.

I mean, the meaning is totally made up.

[Maribel] Aw, that's really funny because,

for the longest time, I thought "dad" was just

a person my mom made up, so...

[Reese laughs]

-Same, honey. -[Maribel] Right?

But, baby girl,

you got to get rid of that shit before the baby comes.

Trust me, it'll hit you when you least expect it.

Yeah, wow, um...

That's a lot.

Makes sense, though.

[Max] Are you two in therapy?

Uh, yeah, I mean, I am,

and, uh, I'm a therapist as well,

so I kind of live in that world.

Oh.

Yeah, no, I do not.

[Max] We just found it so helpful

to get on the same page about everything.

You know, parenting...

[Reese] And life. So much pops up,

so it's just so much easier

if you have the same shared guiding principles.

Oh, we have one. [chuckles]

-"Don't drop the baby." -[Reese] Girl.

Obviously, don't drop the baby.

You better quit playing. [laughing]

I'm not gonna drop the baby.

But, like, no, what happens if we do?

[Max] I mean, generally, they'll be all right.

[Reese] Yeah, they bounce right back. [laughs]

-[screaming] -[Angie laughs]

-No, no, no, no, no, no. -What?

Oh, my God. Calm down.

-What? -You're screaming.

You're like... [high-pitched scream]

Stop. You should've seen your face.

You were like, "Oh, my God. Hold me, help me."

Why you looking at me?

-You just screamed... -[both laugh]

I wasn't like that.

-[laughs] -Okay, you were squeezing my arm

so hard, I thought you were trying

-to take my blood pressure. -No, I wasn't. [laughs]

[both laughing]

Okay. Oh, my gosh.

Well, either way, I just have to say,

that was the most fun I've had

-in a really long time. -Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

-Me, too. -[laughs]

-[Bella] G! -Oh, my God.

-Shit. -[Bella] I knew that was you.

You play too much, acting like you weren't gonna come see me.

Oh, my God, surprise.

I'd never miss your first gig.

Who's that guy you're kissing, hmm?

Oh, I don't know. Just... some guy I met in line.

-Oh. -[chuckles] Yeah.

Sorry.

Congratulations, though. That's... great.

You know, I'll-I'll see you at home.

Okay.

See ya.

Ugh, that was close. I don't think she saw us.

[sighs]

Um...

I'm sorry. Um...

What?

Is something wrong?

Is it, like...

is it, like, awkward, um...

that I'm, like, your teacher?

No. 'Cause when we met, you weren't--

-Yeah. Right, right. -You-- We weren't.

Yeah.

[laughs]

[both laugh]

But I like you.

I like you, too.

-[both laugh] -Okay.

-[grunts] -Okay, I'm gonna need some help.

[grunts]

Darling, go, watch your head

Don't look down, baby, under the bed

Let it show what you bred...

[phone ringing]

Hey.

Hey, um, so bit of a snag.

Um, they sent a new nurse.

[Shane] Okay.

It's not Gloria, it's, um... Hold on.

Hey, what was your name again?

-Uh, Victor. -Victor.

They sent Victor.

All right, well, then,

get him situated, and then come down here and meet me.

No, I don't think that I can do that.

[sighs] Tess, it's dinner.

It's gonna be a few hours. It's just that.

Okay, no, you're not listening to me.

I'm not gonna leave my mom alone with a stranger.

But he's not a stranger,

he comes from the same agency Gloria--

Okay, look, I said that I'm not doing it, okay?

All right.

Okay.

-I got to go. -Do you want--

-[line beeps] -Hello?

somber music

[sighs]

All right, how are you gonna

make me look hotter?

-[gasps] Not Seth. -[Roxy] Yeah.

-For starters. Yeah. -[Sophie] What?

-Oh, my God. -What about this thing?

I think we can split it at the seams.

-What? Split it? -Okay.

Are you serious?

[yelps] Oh, my...

-So much better. That's nice. -Bye.

-Pilates arms. -You guys...

I love that. That looks really good.

-Oh, my God. -Yeah.

The costume doesn't even make sense anymore.

You got to show a little skin, baby.

[Dani] Didn't make sense to begin with.

[Sophie] What are you talking about?

Look at that, spooky.

At least now, you...

can have some swag for Halloween.

-Oh, my God. -Look at that.

Is it better, really?

Pssh. You look...

-Sexy. -Mm-hmm.

Okay.

All right, I'm gonna go pee. It's gonna take me

a minute to get these pants back up.

-[door opens, closes] -You do look cute, for real.

[gasps]

Excuse me.

What?

She is into you.

What? No.

Yeah, she wants to fuck. She wants to go.

No, no. She's like that with everyone.

-No, she is not. -Yeah, she is.

Stop it. Trust me, she's into you.

-[toilet flushes] -Get it.

-[door opens] -Okay, let's game plan.

If we don't like any of the prospects here,

there is a rooftop screening of Bound

on the Eastside. Could be some cuties.

Or we could Uber to the WeHo Carnaval.

Uh, that might be a shit show.

I think I heard about a block party in Venice.

-We could check that out... -Do you, uh,

want to... go home with me?

To watch reruns of One Tree Hill or...

I'm... yes, but, uh,

no.

I mean, like,

you know, I'm single, you're single.

Could be fun?

I'm halfway out the door, baby.

Okay. [laughs] Let's do it.

[clears throat]

[muffled music playing]

tense music

[sighs] Hey, uh...

you good?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I'm good. [clears throat]

[door opens]

[door closes]

What do you mean you want to go?

I'm tired.

It's early, though. I mean, it's, it's not even eight.

Look, I didn't come here to get interrogated.

I just... Can we just go home, please?

I haven't even gotten through half of my questions.

I don't know. Just google them.

You know you can't really google these kinds of questions.

Honestly, I didn't know that they were gonna be this nosy.

Yeah. No, I know, but... I don't know, I still like 'em.

And, look, I... This is important, you know, for me.

[rock music playing]

Babe, I know.

You should stay, though, but I'm gonna go home, okay?

Okay. Yeah, okay. Love you.

Love you, too.

[child] Excuse me.

-Um, can I have a cupcake? -Hi. Want a cupcake?

-Yeah. -Okay, yeah, for sure.

Here you go. Happy Halloween. Love your costume.

[child] Thank you.

[adult] Wow. A princess.

[horror soundtrack playing on TV]

[Alice] Oh, God.

Oh, God, it's gonna get bad.

Oh...

-Oh, it's bad. -Mm.

-It's bad. -Oh, yeah, it's so bad.

Are you not watching?

Oh, no, no, I totally am.

Are you asleep? Oh, my God.

This has happened to me before.

Okay, it's just, my-my eyes are burning like hell

because I've been in the same contacts for 48 hours.

Well, why don't you just take it out?

Because one of them now feels like it's, like,

lodged up in my brain or something.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because you wake up looking like you're in a tampon commercial.

Okay, is that a compliment? 'Cause that kind of feels

-like it could go either way. -It's just, you're like...

you're like this perfect person.

-Ah... -And-and I drool, and--

-[loud thud] -[both shriek]

-[rolling sound] -What was that?

I-I don't know 'cause I can't see.

[rolling, thud]

-Maybe a squirrel? -[thud]

Okay, that's-that's not a squirrel.

-[loud thud] -[screams] Okay, okay.

-Oh, my God. What? What? Wait. -Somebody's trying to break in.

-No. You serious? -Find my phone. Find my phone.

-Find my phone. -I don't have your phone.

-[rolling] -Fuck!

It's in the kitchen.

[rolling]

-[loud thud] -[both screaming]

How high can you take me, baby?

Feel me lately, make me lazy...

-Don't worry. It is just me. -Oh.

-Thank God it was just you. -[laughs]

Take two, can you make it memorable?

How high can you take me, baby?

Feel me lately, make me lazy

You make me dizzy, dizzy, spinning round the room

Make me dizzy, dizzy, all my daisies bloom

Now I'm a sucker, sucker, lolli, lolli

Hotter than a cup of coffee

You're my secret garden...

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. I got you something.

-What? -Wait, wait, wait.

A little sweet and sour always does me right...

Bam.

-Come on. -[laughs]

You didn't have to get me anything.

Oh, I did. I really did.

We can make the magic happen...

-So they have your initials... -Oh, wow.

...on the inside. I don't know.

I just saw them. I thought of you.

I thought they were amazing, and

you owe me a fucking haircut, so...

You're right, I do.

I really do.

How long till you see me tremble?

Take two, can you make it memorable?

I should move that. Yeah.

-All right. -Mm-hmm. [grunting]

How far can you take me, baby?

How far can you take?

- How far can you take me? -[laughs]

Don't laugh at me. I'm trying to be sexy.

How far can you take?

[busy signal sounding]

How can 911 be busy?

It's Halloween. I mean, this is the Super Bowl of mischief.

We should've gone out.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Just deep breaths, okay?

-Okay. [sighs] -Breathe.

My mother warned me. She warned me not

to turn my panic room into a wine cellar.

-I should have listened. -[loud thud]

Oh, fuck, we're gonna die!

All right, you know what? Fuck it.

-I'm gonna go check it out. Oh. -What?

I can't see my own death coming anyway,

and if it does happen, then you'll have time

to run out the back.

Taylor?

Taylor? Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Care... No. Oh, Taylor, be care...

-[thud] -[Taylor] Ow!

-Oh! Fuck. Fuck. -Oh, fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

-[thud] -Oh, fuck.

[door opens]

[pumpkin screams, laughs] Happy Halloween.

I think it came back to haunt you.

When we tell this story,

we're gonna tell it really differently.

Oh, hell no, uh-uh. [laughing] We're telling it

-just like it happened. -[laughing] No.

[Alice] Mmm.

What was that for?

Well, you were gonna save my life.

Yeah. Yeah, you know what?

[laughing] I was gonna save your life.

You like me.

Of course I like you.

You're hiding medical emergencies from me.

[laughs] Well, you know what?

I've been at your house for three days,

and you have never once had anything in your teeth.

You-you wore white pants and ate a whole plate of nachos,

and you didn't spill a drop. I mean...

who are you?

I can show you who I am.

I just didn't know if we were, you know, there.

Yeah. Exactly.

I mean, I didn't know either.

soft, gentle music

-But are we? -[sighs]

You gonna let me take that contact out of your eye?

Oh, my God, would you, please?

Yeah, doesn't look so good.

[Patty] I need to go to the bathroom.

Okay.

Come on, let's get you up.

[groaning]

Come on.

-Oh. I can use the thing. -The bedpan? No. Remember?

The doctor said that it's good for you to get up

-and move around? Oh. -No, no, no.

I can use the bedpan.

No, you're not gonna use the bedpan.

The doctor said to get up.

Come on, we can do this. Come on.

-Oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh. -Oh, sorry.

Oh, God. No, you can. Come on. The doctor said

it's good for you to get up and move around,

-so we can, we can do this. -[groaning] Oh, stop. Stop.

-Mom, why are you fighting me? -[panting]

I don't want to be your patient.

-Mom, I don't mind. -Victor! Victor?

-[Victor] Yes? -No, Victor, we're fine.

-You sure? -We don't, we don't need Victor.

I'm-I'm right here.

I don't want you.

I want Victor!

-[Victor] What's going on? -Victor, come here!

-It's... We're... -She's trying to kill me.

No, I'm not.

I'm not. Okay?

We've done this before. We can... you know,

I'm gonna get you up and you're gonna go to the bathroom, okay?

-Come on. -[Patty groans]

-Come on. Come on. -Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

You need to let me go.

Oh, oh... let me go.

-Let me go. -Okay.

-Oh, this is not right. -Okay, I'm sorry.

[groans] I want to go live in the nursing home.

No, you... no, you don't.

[sniffles] No, you don't.

I know what I want,

and it's not this.

It's not this, Theresa.

-Um... -It's not this.

-Okay. Okay. -[Patty] Victor. Victor.

Okay. Um...

She... There's a...

-I-I know. -Okay.

I-I saw them. I got this.

Okay.

[Victor] You're good. You're okay.

River of words

Bury me alive

River of words

Bury me alive

-Boo! -Jesus Christ.

[laughing]

You really scared me.

[quietly] They, uh, they stripped me down

so you could see a little more skin.

-Oh, did they? -Mm-hmm.

[laughs] Oh, my God.

-You like it? -Yeah, you look sexy.

Oh, thank you.

[chuckles]

Mmm...

-Hey. -Hey.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Shane earlier.

It was stupid. [sighs]

What? Why are you doing this?

I talked to Shane. It's... She didn't...

-[sighs] -Well, um...

She's probably hiding it from you because...

she's embarrassed about what she did.

I mean, she can't just come out and say it.

She's ashamed.

Is that what it felt like for you with me?

Um... yeah. I-I guess. I mean, still does.

[Finley] So, why do you do it?

That's not something that I do.

I mean, I have done it, but...

-I don't know about that. -You don't know about what?

I just mean, like, you know, you kind of have a pattern.

I do not have a pattern. I made a mistake.

You cheated on your girlfriend before Dani, too, with Dani.

Yeah, I was 20 years old.

And then you slept with someone while I was in rehab.

It's not not a pattern.

slow, plaintive music

Is that what you think about? When you think about me?

No. Mm...

I have to answer that again.

Um...

[exhales] Sometimes.

Wow. So this is why we're not having sex.

What? What does that have to do with--

All this fucking bullshit is sitting

between you and me all the time.

And you can't see me.

You can only see the people that I've fucked

and the mistakes that I've made.

And then you look at me like I'm fucking crazy

for following the rules that you made up.

But I'm here. I'm still here.

And I can't do anything but wait for you to trust me.

So, tell me, Fin,

when are you gonna stop punishing me?

I don't want to punish you.

-That's not... -You know...

I'm just gonna go home.

Wow.

pulsing, dramatic music

[sighs]

[sputters]

Fuck.

[waitress] Here you go. Have a great night, okay?

[Sophie] Thank you.

[Nava's "Bones" playing]

You know I feel alone without you on my bones

You're not leaving, are you?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I...

-[chuckles softly] I am. -Damn.

I was just gonna ask if I could buy you a drink.

Um...

I have a girlfriend. But... thank you. Really.

-Have a good night. -Have a good night.

On my bones, hey

On my bones

Run, run, run

[panting] Run, run, run

I can't seem to face up to the facts

I'm tense and nervous and I can't relax

I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire

Don't touch me, I'm a real live wire

Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?

Fa-fa-fa-fa, fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa, better

Run, run, run, run

Run, run, run away

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Ay-ya-ya-ya, ooh

We are vain and we are blind

I hate people when they're not polite

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Ay-ya-ya-ya, ooh

Run, run, run, run

[Max] Thanks for coming.

[guest] Hey, thanks for having us, Max.

-See you, buddy. -[child] Thanks.

[guest] Good night. See you soon.

[Micah] Hi.

[Max] Oh, hey. Great.

You guys are still here.

Yeah. Yeah, uh, well, Maribel had to call it a night.

But, um... I still have,

like, a laundry list of questions about parenting

and I just thought, well, maybe you're open to it,

and if you weren't too tired, we could grab a beer

and you could answer some more?

-Sure. I'd love to. -Yeah? Awesome.

-Definitely. -Thank you. It's, um...

I don't know, I-I-I know that we don't really...

know each other, but, um... this is...

It's special. This.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It is.

I mean, it is for me, too.

-Really? -Yeah.

'Cause I'm the one who gets to tell you

how great it's gonna be.

Your whole life.

You get to reinvent everything for yourself

and be your own kind of...

your own kind of parent and your own kind of man.

Yeah, I'm excited for you.

Wow. [exhales]

Uh... it's a, it's a little harder to cry now, on "T," but--

Oh, yeah. I know that.

[chuckles]

So glad to meet you.

-I appreciate that. -Let me just make sure

Reese is all good with the kids and then we'll head out.

Sound good?

Sure. That sounds perfect.

-Awesome. I'll be right back. -Okay.

[sighs]

[door opens]

[Shane] Hey.

[scoffs]

-[patrons chattering nearby] -[music playing]

[Finley] I trusted you.

I defended you. I just, I...

I don't know who you are anymore.

It's like... [scoffs]

Tess is fucking perfect, man.

-Mm. -And when I see you two,

I'm like, "Holy shit, that's it.

That's-that's, that is what I want.

That makes perfect sense."

And then you have to go shit all over it.

I saw you, Shane.

Oh, my God.

I got to... get out of here.

I looked up to you,

and you're a real fucking disappointment.

[door opens]

[door closes]

upbeat, percussive music

Hey. [chuckles]

You like the view?

It's not bad, not bad.

If I tell you I want you

It don't mean that I need you

I'm the hand that can feed you

And you know I'm-a feed you

I'm making big waves now

Parting the seas on the way down

I'm polishing my crown

Show some respect, boy, and bow down

My body is a temple

Assume your position...

The view is even nicer than I thought.

[both laughing]

My mind is influential

Make me your religion

And show me how you worship

Let me see you worship

-Meow. -[laughs]

Show me how you worship

You say I'm so good, oh, my goodness

You treat me like I am a goddess

-Ah. Ow. -Oh.

[laughing] I'm sorry. You okay?

Yeah. This, uh... this earring.... it stuck me.

It's all good.

Do you want to put some music on? What's up?

Uh...

-Sorry. -You okay?

What's going on?

Um, I...

I think I'm, I think I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend.

Shit.

-Sorry. -Okay.

Um... it's okay, man.

I'm sorry.

Oh, honey.

-Have you cried about it yet? -No.

[Roxy] No? Oh, okay, here.

Put my leg around you.

Come here. You got to let it out.

-Come on. -[chuckles]

[chuckling] Let it out.

[crying]

What's wrong with me?

[Roxy] Nothing.

There's nothing wrong with you.

-It's okay, baby. -[sniffling]

Is this what you imagined it would be like

for our first time hooking up? [laughing]

Oh, oh, yeah.

The snot's a bit extra.

[laughs] Ew.

God, you feel so good.

I know, these are the best kind of hugs.

-Arms and legs. -[chuckles]

Thank you.

-How's the eye? -[Taylor] It's good.

-Oh, it's actually better. -Oh, good.

Yeah.

-What do you got? -Okay.

Ready? Um, all right.

I have to wear this every night

because I grind the shit out of my teeth.

So...

Okay. All right, that's not a bad start.

-Need more? -Mm-hmm.

-Okay. -[chuckles]

Mm-hmm. Got it.

I have to wear these sometimes

because my neighbor decided to sell their house

to the drummer of Maroon 5.

And I know everyone loves that band, but I'm not a fan.

I'm gonna need some of those.

What else do I have? So many things wrong with me.

-[Taylor] Mm-hmm. -Oh, I know.

Um, when I'm really stressed out,

I have to watch clips of The Voice Australia.

-[laughs] Okay. -[chuckles]

I know that it's really

not good for the environment and all, but...

Oh... what?

[quietly] I love Styrofoam cups.

-Oh, I kind of unders... -[laughing] Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I get it. I get it.

I don't have a driver's license.

-What? -Mm-mm.

Oh, we... Oh, wait. No. No. Mm-mm.

-What? -No. One sec.

-Okay, I'm ready. -Yeah, you are.

I'm a little strange

- Got poison in my veins -[phone chimes]

They don't know who they're talking to

I'm a, I'm a, I'm a

I'm a mad

Madwoman

Madwoman

[Max] Shane?

-[Shane] Max. -[Max] Hey.

Oh, my God, Max. How you doing?

-I'm great. -Wow, hi.

It's-it's wild to see you here.

This is my place.

-It is? -Yeah.

-It's so nice. Wow. -Thank you.

I'm so happy to see you doing so well.

Yeah, what has it been?

Uh, I mean, what are we going on?

-Twelve, 13 years? -Yeah.

About that.

I've-I've... so much has happened.

I feel like I've lived a thousand lives

since I've seen you last.

Well, all good ones, I hope.

Yeah.

-I've got four kids. -What?

You have four kids? Are you serious?

Yeah. It's a madhouse for sure. But... It's so joyful.

-Wow. -What about you?

Did you settle down or are you still being Shane?

[chuckles]

Oh...

[both laughing]

Yeah. No, no, no. No, I'm not.

I-I-I have a girl. You know? She's-she's great.

-That's great. -She's great.

-I'm happy for you. -Thank you.

And it seems like you've changed a lot,

which is... it's cool to see.

So for what it's worth...

just want to apologize.

For how we were back then.

I'm great, man.

-Good. -I'm happy and...

I hope you're happy, too.

I'm trying.

Good to see you, Max. Really good to see you.

Listen, anything you'd like tonight, please.

-On the house, all right? -Good to see you.

You, uh, you two know each other?

Yeah. I mean, we used to.

-Yeah. -Small world.

-Uh, here. -Thanks.

I, uh, just had a few more questions

-if you've got some time still. -Sure, yeah.

-Yeah? -Should we sit down?

Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks.

All right, what... So, what do you got?

Well, uh, so, with the diapers...

how do you know when to change them?

Like, just when they smell or...?

[laughs] You know... listen.

First off,

can I tell you something that I wish I'd have known?

Yeah, yeah, God. Anything. Please.

Just don't forget to have fun, too. Okay?

-Okay. -What else?

Uh, well, okay, this one sounds stupid,

but I'm, like, I'm genuinely worried.

Like, what if the kid is weird?

[laughs]

[sighs]

[Maribel] Ugh, fuck this city on Halloween.

[Sophie] Rough night?

[scoffs] I spent two hours waiting for an accessible Lyft.

-Where's Micah? -Oh, he's talking to a real

smartass who told me to resolve my daddy issues

-before I have a baby. -Oh, my gosh.

[both groan]

Wait, is there SweeTarts in there?

Yeah. Um...

[whispering] Yes.

Do you think I'm like Dad?

Fuck, I hope not.

-I'm serious. -[chuckles]

Do you think I'm, like...

a cheater?

I mean, you do have a pattern.

-Oh, my God. -What?

That's exactly what Finley said.

Whoa, okay, that is the only thing

-Finley and I have in common. -[sighs]

I fucking love her.

I know you do.

You know, and I don't want to be like Dad.

Can you believe that bastard just left us?

Oh, my God.

They all leave. Fuck 'em.

[smacks lips] But not Micah.

Mm-mm.

Micah is not Dad, okay?

Micah is...

[sighs] ...is a kind, sweet, anxious...

[laughs] ...perfect person.

He ain't ever gonna leave you.

-Are you sure? -Mm-hmm.

[quietly] You could be nicer to him sometimes.

[scoffs] Okay.

-Sometimes. -Mm.

You're not Dad.

[clicks tongue]

[sighs] But how do you...?

How do you know for sure?

Bitch, 'cause I can see you.

Even when you can't see yourself.

-I promise. -Mm.

Okay.

I do have to tell you something.

What?

SweeTarts is the dumbest fucking candy to love.

-Are you serious? -Yeah.

Wow.

[mutters]

[door opens]

Hey.

How was the rest of the night?

Good.

Bella, you were so, so good.

Mm-hmm. Okay.

So... who's the guy?

-Uh... what guy? -Come on, G.

Don't be like that. I thought we were friends.

[scoffs] You look so intimidating

-with this makeup on. -I know.

-Okay. -[laughs] Spill.

It's just the fact that it's really new and nobody knows...

-[gasps, squeals] -...about it yet.

-Okay. -A secret boyfriend. Yes!

Okay, wait, tell me everything.

Okay, what do you want to know? [laughs]

Everything.

-Go. -[exhales]

He's my creative writing instructor.

Girl! [laughing]

Oh, my!

-Yeah? -[gasps]

This is a scandal I am here for,

so please spill.

[Roxy] So good.

[Dani] Oh, it's burnt.

-[laughs] Whoops. -Okay.

Thank you for coming home.

-Huh. Anything for you, baby. -So what's next?

Mm, my brother just bought a boutique hotel

on the beach in Costa Rica.

-Might help him set it up. -Okay.

And, um... why don't you just stay in L.A.?

[chuckles softly]

'Cause you're not ready to be my wife yet.

[scoffs]

Okay. Really, though.

No, I-I'm being real.

Call me when that heart heals. I'll come running.

Hey, mami...

-you know what? -What?

- Hey, mami -You sexy.

-Oh! - Hey, mami...

-Oh. -Remember?

-This is the... Okay, hold on. -Yeah, yeah.

-This is what I know. What? - Hey, mami, you sexy

-Okay. -You got it? Whoa.

-Whoa. -Oh, yeah.

- Hey, mami, you beautiful -[laughing]

Hey, mami, you sexy, hey, mami, you sexy

-[both vocalizing] - Hey, mami, you sexy

Hey, hey, can I get that number?

Hey, mami, you sexy

Hey, mami, you beautiful

- Hey, mami, you sexy -[laughing]

British guys playin' rugby

Brooklyn boys who want to thug me

Skanky, cranky, foogly, oogly

Slammin' dudes that

- Hey, mami -I fucking love you.

- Hey, mami -I love you.

You cute

You were right...

...about everything.

I'm sorry.

I'm...

I want to trust you, I just, I don't know how.

Well, we're gonna figure this out.

Okay?

I just can't stop thinking about this person you slept with

while we were on a break.

-They didn't mean anything. -I know that,

but I think my imagination

is just way worse than the real thing.

Finley.

-I know. But... Please. -[scoffs]

Will you just tell me everything?

[sighs]

Okay.

[exhales]

[Maribel chuckles softly]

My God, you look adorable.

Okay, pass me my phone.

I need to remember this moment forever.

-Really? -Yeah.

-Do you? -Yes.

Okay, but it's just for you.

-Yeah, we'll see. -Not even Sophie.

Um, I don't know about that.

Okay, go. Let's see.

-[camera clicks] -[Maribel giggles]

Oh, amazing.

Look.

It should be fun.

-It should be. -[chuckles softly]

I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the ass.

[chuckles] It's okay.

Really, I mean, I had fun tonight.

And... I really needed that.

Yeah?

Yeah. You looked pretty good, too.

-Thanks. -[chuckles]

Don't leave me, okay.

I won't.

Not ever.

But be nicer.

[chuckles]

Can I take this off now?

No. I kind of like it.

[both chuckle]

Okay, thank you.

All right, good night.

[music playing faintly]

-Hey. -Are you ready?

-Yeah. -Mm.

As much as I'd like to...

I can't.

Maybe let's just... let's not say anything.

Okay.

And let's just call this exactly what it was.

And what was that?

An awakening.

For both of us.

[chuckles]

You know, you really, um, you brought me back to life.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

This meant...

a lot to me.

No, I mean that, I mean that.

-So, please. -Okay.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Take care.

Uh...

Fuck you, Shane.

-[gasps] -[patrons gasping]

We keep on falling apart

Falling, falling, falling

We keep on falling apart

Falling, falling

Into things, oh, the things

That we do to another

We keep on falling apart