Original subtitles

Thank you. Thank you. And now my

teacher, right?

Please. Easy. Ladies and gents,

I ain't all that good, you knowBut he

will try his best.

right. Thank you. Come on, pal. Hey,

he's as bald as a coat. No, no,

noThese people here have noticed that you

have no hair. Oh. Well,

he makes me more handsome.

He suits me. Ah, we two friends.

Travel the world. Yeah, travel the world.

We've left our homes and our families.

Left our homes?But we have friends. We

have friends. We have chopped trees. We

have chopped trees, capsized boats. We

have road boats. We've capsized boats.

Hey, we have road boats. Yeah,

but they always capsize. Ah We have

worked hard. It means I've worked hard.

Hey, those fellas are really crazy.

Now it's time to sell our goods. Yeah,

that's right, we've got to eat. Tell me,

what do we sell?Oh, it's very good. For

what?Good for broken bones. You

got it wrong again. The stuff that we're

selling does much more than that. You

never told me that. Shut up. Our stuff's

very special. How's it different?Now

look. It's the famous iron

pills. Iron pills?Yes, iron pills. What

are they?You really want to know?Sure.

Well, listen. Listen, folks, listen and

he'll tell us all. Yeah, now listen

here. Are those the pills?Yep, these are

they. There they are. And now, ladies and

gentlemen,Listen carefully. And don't you

miss this chance. It won't come again. A

chance to broaden your horizons. These

little black pills here are very unusual.

Teacher, this fella doesn't seem very

clear yet. Ah A real man's

body is hard, like

steel. Any real man has to be

hard. Yeah, don't worry. Now,

you just take one of these pills, no

matter how soft you are. It'll fill you

with iron vigor, with

strength and morality. That's right.

It will, too. Ah, now,

folks, this is our first time here. Our

first time here. So way cheap. Very

cheap. Big discount. Very big. Bargain

day. Now's your chance. Ah, for every one

you buy. You get one free. So

that's. Now what about you, Sir?What

about you?Come on, you can't miss this.

Can you really?What about you, Sir?Comeon,

you. Listen, I told you it's no

good. Oh, customers. Hey, now, what

about you, Sir?I'm sure you'd love to

have one.

Me. Those lousy pills. They nearly killed

me. Sure, I took one. Hey, my gutty, the

whole night. You're a fake. Yeah,

trying to poison us. Holdy. Hey. There's

nothing wrong with our pills. There's

nothing wrong. You're a lousy gusset of

no good. Yeah, right. Yeah. They come

here, they start accusing us of something

wrong. You're accusing

us.

huh Old dad, huhGod, we'd better pack all

our things and get the hell out of here.

Come on, quick.

Come on, now, hurry up. I can't go no

faster. One of

these days, we're gonna get beaten to

death. Nonsense.

Hey, wait for me.

Hey, my son. Look over there.

Let's have a drink and a rest.

You really got no idea. You don't know

what hardship is. Can't go for a few

hours without wanting to stop.

All right. Oh,

hello. Come on. Have a seat.

Hey. Quick, quick.

Hey, sit down.

Good. Now then, some drinks. Ohh

You like some tea?Yeah. Throndad, fetch

some tea. Just passing through.

Yeah. You see, we're

just wanderers. Right. Oh,

where's your home?

The world's our home. Right. Oh, dear.

You mean you've got no family anywhere.

Why, you've never married.

Well, you see, look at me. Now, who'd

ever marry me?

You don't have to be handsome, though, as

long as you're useful.

Tell me,

what's your name?Me, I'm

Candy. Him, he's my granddad.

Well, now, I'll tell you,

him,He's my pupil. In

performance, he doesn't mean match for

me. Ah

So your kung fu is good?Uh It's the best.

You what?

With this saber, I've traveled around the

world. And with this fist here, I've

conquered ten provinces. I'm a man who

helps the weak against the strong.

Grandad, let me help. Thank you. Why'd

you do that?Why

shouldn't I, ehGrandad, help

me! Grandad, help

me!

help me! Stop him!

You said you always help the weak. Helpme!

Student, go on. You--

You go in first. I'll back you up. Me?Go

on. Go on.

You use everything that I've taught you,

you'll soon fix them.

Looks

like a leper. That's a great leper fist.

Oh.

Hey, I'm on it

high.

Don't you worry. That's a special style

for Trojan horse technique.

That's

good. What's that one called?

That style, he practices every day, and

it's called...

Ah, it's called the stumbling technique.

Very good, very good.

We've a long way to go. Get to

bed.

Hey, get up, get up. Now listen. Yeah,

yeah, yeahHey, get up. Now what?I

warn you, don't you call me student

again, 'cause if you do, you'll be sorry.

Oh, yeahYou little idiot.

You had a good meal, huhSo you're feeling

uppity, huhIs that right?

Are you really fighting?No,

No noNo, we're just practicing. That's

all it is. That's right. Good fighters

must practice all the time.

Right. I tell you, I'm not kidding you

now. I mean, all over the

world. I have hundreds of students,

many of them famous, too. And just to

count those would take me hours. I can't

even remember them all. Oh,

that's all. No wonder your student could

beat those men. HmmStudents?

The best, the best. Uh,

I... What is it?Well, I'd like your best

student to help me. Hey. I am a

man who just loves to help others. To

me, helping others is a joy.

What is it?Just tell me, huhReally?

That's

good. That's great.

Listen, I have to go out now.

Well, that's better. What's better?

You're so stupid. I came in here

especially to see you. To see

me?That's

right. I would like to learn that

that style.

Oh, stumbling technique. All right! The

one that you used to beat those men

today. It's good, isn't it?Yeah, you

teach me, huhTeach you?

Oh, dear. Look how hard the floor is.

Where should we learn?On the

bed. On the bed. Yeah, yeah

But who has to stumble first?I don't

know. I never learned that.

Come on together.

ooh Come

on, let's go. Quick, come on. Come on,

hurry out of here. Hurry, hurry. Come on,

quick. Hey, hey,

hey, come on, hurry. Come

on, come onLet's go. Come on.

Quickly. Come on, loud water.

Come on, hurry, come on.

That's very annoying. And just when I was

getting so good, it's well.

Who could it be at this hour?Don't know.

Greetings, teacher. Greetings,

teacher. That's right.

What's this?Now, Miss, we may as well be

frank with you. We fellows in all our

lives have never been beaten. Yeah,

but today that young guy beat us easily

because we were no good. So then

we thought that we come here and beg them

to take us on as their students. Right.

Your timing's poor, too. They

they just left here. No.

That's bad. So we just miss them.

I shall miss them as well. I mean,

that bald guy nearly taught me.

Now, look, no matter where we rush to,

we're going to wind up in trouble. Don't

you worry. Why not?

Must be one place that's OK.

Well, folks, this place is a real nice

village. Uh, everything's always so

peaceful. That's because our brother

takes care of us all.

You had very

good weather. Real good

harvests. So now's a good

time to make a little

contribution. HuhHuh

Don't you agree?

Yeah, you're right. I guess we

should. Good, you agree?

Good. Well, then why not stop giving?All

right?The more you

give, the better you'll laugh. Lu

Domingue. Yes?

Hey. You're the mayor

here, so you've got lots of money.

So you give more. Don't you like being

mayor, then?Oh, sure. Well,

give more then, huh

Is $10 enough, then?Uh,

that's a bit more like it. Hey,

now come on, come onHey,

all right, now then. Listen, I want to

talk. As from next month, there'll be no

more taxes.

Instead of taxes, I'll come

for your gift.

Hey, hey, hey, stop grumbling! You want

trouble, huhI'm a reasonable

man. Starting from next month, the

outnumbered houses give. Then the next

month, the even numbers. Huh

Hey, every house here must give at

least $10. Well, I don't have to pay. My

house is never number now.

Oh, so your house is no number. That's

illegal, a crime. And for that,

you should go to jail. But there's an

alternative. You have to pay a fine.

And so every month, hey, 20 bucks

more. Huh, $20?

Your turn. Come on.

Hey, you deaf?

Mr. Pye, that's deaf Chen's son.

And he's deaf as well. HuhDo you

say deaf?Sure, what's more, he's a mute

also. Oh, god. Oh,

dear. What a poor fella. Yes. That's

real sir.

Yes. Hey, Berta, go and get the charity

box and give him $20. And from

now on,You needn't pay.

Hey, I must take more care

of the handicapped in future.

Don't you agree?I've asked. The village

accounts show that they've hired two top

fighters. Do they have to pay as well?

Fighters! Where?Where

Where are they?You see?

Oh, my eye's trembling.

Oh, my God. I'll tell you something.

Those damn fighters are coming here. And

they're coming soon. Right. We're

finished here. Let's go back home. We'll

come back next month. Let's go. Come on.

Come on

Quiet, quiet, quiet. Well, I

never met him. A friend of mine hid them

in the city, but that was weeks ago.

They should be here by now.

Anytime, anytime at all.

First of all, I will, on behalf of all

the village here, welcome these two

heroes. Thank you,

thank you, thank you. Thank you, thank

you, thank you. Sit down. I believe

and hope that with the help of these two

men, this place will from now on

prosper. Huh And on that hopeful note,

I give you a hero.

Now have some food. Come on. Come on

There's plenty.

Yeah. YeahTry

something. Mary. Come on.

Come onCome on

Good. Good

And now, then, here's your payment, then.

There's $100 here. That's 50 for each of

you. They don't

look too satisfied. And not enough?

Well, now, not enough?Ohh Well, we

could have some more, a little bit more.

Right. A bit

more. Shall we say another 100 for each

of you, then?

100. Yes.

Oh, fine.

Listen, are you giving us all?

Fly. Fly. Where?I killed it.

Mayor, we're both very straightforward

men. And as you've acted promptly,

you'll act promptly too! Well,

Well now, good to hear that. It's

obvious that you're fine men, the best.

Oh no no no noBut that money, we took it

out of the village accounts. Right.

So as a favor, so that folks see

what their money's getting, would you

mind to do something for us?That is,

just demonstrate, choose what you

can do.

Yeah, sure. Just show us your skill.

Show our skill. Well, that's no

problem. Student, show the

folks a few tricks. Some tricks?Yeah.

Yeah, right. Hey!

Hey. All right. Yeah.

There. You can see that.

That's our skate. The hand skate.

Great kung fu. Amazing. Now

look at all the small things. Mr. Mayor,

here's to you, huhGood.

Right.

My God!

Amazing! Amazing. I never

saw

anything in my whole life.

Amazing. Unbelievable. Well, I must say,

you have great kung fu. We really picked

the right men to fight all those bandits.

What's that?I said, fight the bandits.

What bandits?Tiger

Wu. And also his top

men. One of them's called

Leopard, and the other is the Wolf.

All three are vicious, deadly killers. So

then we hired you two famous heroes to

come here and protect us. Hmm

So you two miserable fools thought that

you'd come and beat me. Fools,

aren't they?

Hey, listen. We've managed to

catch these fools, but the village still

expects them. Huh

HuhWell, let them wait.

Say nothing, and just let them wait for

the rest of the month. Then we'll go and

collect their money. Hey, hey,

Bart, and we'll beat them up, too. Hmm

You hear him?He likes beating.

Hey, let's go and celebrate. Go! We'll

have a great party.

Hey, Bart, there's trouble. There's

trouble! Stop gaveling. Sure?

Report. Boss, I just heard

two more fighters have come here. Two

more have come?Strange, we've already

caught two. How come there's two more in

the village, yeah?When we caught these

two, there shouldn't really be any more.

Am I right?Yeah, you're right. Maybe,

boss, maybe we made a mistake?Yeah. I

couldn't have. Hey, I am the

tiger here. And so are you.

He is too. And tigers don't make

mistakes. How about I go back there and

check things?Oh, let me think.

Uh, now let me think.

Oh, I got it. It's a trick.

HuhA trick?It must be. Those

crummy peasants, they're always trying to

pull tricks on me.

Right. I'll send two men down to

investigate.

You scared me. Where is this place?

You mean you don't know?Well, this is my

home. I'm sometimes called the Tigress.

The village gave me instructions. I'm to

take very good care of you two heroes. Ohh

Yes, of course.

We're heroes.

Well, my two heroes, you have some

tea. It's ginseng.

I'll get you some nice food, too.

Something good.

What's wrong?Look, we're really in

trouble. Why?Now come on, you know

we ought to leave here. But why?Now look,

it was food, a big feast. Then they gave

us money as well. Yes. And look, now

now they gave us women, too. We're gonna

get into big trouble. Oh, God.

Wolong. We're fed, we're housed,

and money, too. And also,

also.. Also, also, yeah, also the

bandits. Ah

We won't fight bandits. Don't you

worry, eh

Just you watch me.

All right, the hammer.

The hammer. Ah, that

sounds bad.

All right. Now the axe.

That's no problem. Eh

The spear, on top of that.

You think you're really good, huhNow...

Try these double dragons here. Wow.

WowDouble dragons.

I'll say hell with your dragons. HuhI'm

getting bored now. I've had enough of

this. Well, all right.

Hey, hey, heyGo to bed now.

Hey, hey, heyCareful. Now,

come on. Okay. Bring me

alone. Oh, ow. Oh.

Oh. Hey, you're drunk. Hey.

You're wrong. You watch me.

I'm not drunk.

Oh. UhHe could do the

drunken fist. My God. Hmm

Wow.

Ohh

Well, can't sleep or something.

Oh, no. Practicing.

Do you practice every night?

No. Well, at least, not kung fu.

I shall see for myself now.

Data, I hear your kung fu's great.

HuhIn kung fu, nobody can beat me.

HuhIs that true?I'll tell

you, huhYeah. I know. The Buddha style.

The toad style. Lizard style. Also...

HmmAlso.. Nasty

style!

Listen, you say you know all those

styles, is it true?Well, of course it

is. I'll tell you, I'm especially good at

this one here, in the bed.

What's this?Ah

Those men, they're my husbands.

Uh, so many-- Hey, come on.

Yeah, don't be scared. Why not?Well,

they're all dead now. They're

dead. That's all right. Hmm

It's a very sad story. Oh. Those

11 husbands, not one of them

could keep up with me. After one

year of marriage, they died.

Hey. Well, your kung fu

must be good. Not my

fault, but the people call me the Deadly

Tigress. Well, it's no

wonder they call you that. Look up there.

Red, white, brown, yellow.

United Nations, huhHey,

you got the nerve to try for the 12th

place, ehUh, me. Mmm.

It's still vacant.

well

now let me tell you yeah I first married

at 15 and now I'm just 26

none of my husbands were with me for very

long no can't you guess how lonely I am

And me, too. We're both the same. We're

both in the same boat. I tell you, I'm

always great in the bed. A

first-rate rider. Any distance or track,

weather, name it. I'm always up there. I

don't give up! All

are thirsting, and you're useless. Just

useless. Well, you have to

admit, at least I tried. But

you're too much. I can't give

up. Oh, you!

You're all damn talk! All you do is to

make me feel nervous!

What's this?Well, this pill is some

special drug that was left me by my last

husband. Just suck at it for a while,

then give it back.

What's it for?Uh, never you mind. Just

don't swallow it.

What's it for?Oh, shut up.

Well, hurry.

Huh

Flower brothel?YeahWell, tell us what you

saw. Those two fellas are real tough.

You take my word for that. Those fellas

use many weapons. First of all, they use

big hammers. HuhThey use hammers?

And also, the axe and the

spear. Wow! That

doesn't sound so good. What's more, one

of them knowsThe Buddhist style, toad

style, lizard style, and what was the

other one though?Nasty style. What, you

know it's a nasty style?Come on, what the

hell is that?Yeah, what is it?

Uh, you're stupid. You know the dragon

legend, huhNot all the passive styles.

Well, there's nine passive styles. That's

one of them, huh

Really?Hey, and the other.

Oh. The other?Well, he's even worse.

He can see through walls. From inside, he

knew where I was. What?

I think I'd better leave here. Oh, come

on now. What are you frightened

of?Well, you heard him. One of them

sounds like a magician, and the other one

like Superman. How can we fight him,

huhWell, I'm not giving up. Look,

we need to tackle him. What do you mean?

Just two of you?Can you?Ah,

don't you worry. An arrow from the dark

is very hard to avoid. And while they may

be very good, I have my ways of

dealing with things like this.

Hey, Pai-San, we've still got time to get

out. Hey, are you kidding?

Now you look here. Gonna have you stand

up, I'll put my pants on, let

alone run.

Oh, no. Well, you asked for it, though. I

didn't. Well, it didn't get like that by

itself.

Wolong, my heritage depends on

that. HuhTough luck.

Never thought I'd get myself in a state

like this.

Hey, Wolong,The pill she gave me was left

by one of her late husbands, the eleventh

one. Ah, you still enjoying the taste

of it, then?Oh, yeah. I mean, no. Well,

enjoy yourself. You shit

Ah

Can't rely on anyone when I've always

been so good to you. God damn

it!

Good morning. Good morning.

Hi, there. How are you?Bye-bye.

Listen. I'll watch the other. You watch

him. Hi.

Hello. I'll get

you. I got you.

It's you, the hero. Come on,

teach us some kung fu, huhYou wanna learn

some kung fu?Yeah, right, come on. Come

on, come

onWhat is this?You scared me. What are

you doing?I'm following that fighter. Ah,

you're not doing it very well. Now

listen, you watch the other, and I'll

watch this one, then we can both meet up

later. Go on. Okay.

Huh Hey.

Oh.

Come along.

Yeah, that's fun, huhHey,

what about some real kung fu?A little

thing?Yeah, yeahReal

kung fu. Come on. All right, all right

I'll show you. Okay. Right.

Wow. Oh, gosh.

Gee.

Hey, what about the throwing knives?Oh,

yeah. I'm sorry to see

that. Come on. Come on, show her.

Okay, I'll show you.

Come back. That's right. Hey! Ohh

Hey,

I'll find it. Bandit?

Hey, let's have

a look. That's right. My name's Wolf. I'm

the third man in the tiger gang.

Everyone knows me. Who are you, huh

What's your name?Uh, I... You want

my name?Forget it.

Him?He's the one in the village hired.

The hero! Wolong. Sure. And he's Tai.

Well, in that case, I shall challenge a

hero to a fight. HuhA fight?

Well, not now. Hey, I tell you what.

Let's fix a date. We can't fight with

these kids here. It's not nice to see.

I tell you this. Our hero here could beat

you easy. No problem, right?

Well, hey, you tell him.

Well, the hero's scared.

Would you like me to give you the no

fighting medal?Shut up. Grab him and

take him to the court. Right now?Sure,

sure

Get him

down!

Go! Go! Go!

You

Wow, what's so sad?What?

Stumbling style. You

really are something.

It looks

like that hurts.

Here I come! Where have you been then?Go

get him!

Killer bastard

Well, now, I told you not to fight. Next

time, you'll listen to me. Damn you! You

wait! I'll get you! You..

Oh, God, isn't this ever gonna go away?

I can't stand much more.

God, God.

This can't be true. I can't even stand

up. God, why does

this have to happen to me?

Oh, God, if I meet somebody, what am I

going to tell them?

OhhOh,

ohh please. Help me. What's wrong?

It's all your fault. You carry bad luck.

You're a man killer, that's what. Haven't

you got some medicine for me, please?You

said that you wanted to be my husband,

didn't you?

Well, use it. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no

You're bad luck. So you just leave me

alone, please. Hey! You're not going to

spoil my fun. I won't let you. I won't!

No, no, noCome on, come

on, please. Leave me alone, please. Come

back here. No, no, no, don't go.

Hey!

Oh, please. Oh, please.

I beg you, I beg you. No, please, no, no

Please. Darling, come on.

No, please, please, no. Please,

please, me.

I love

to

see men fighting. Oh,

listen. Are you all right?

Well, try this one.

Ohh

God damn you.

I'm catching! God damn you!

You did hurt my husband!

No way, no way, everybody. You two are

really something. Your first day, you

proved yourselves. You took the Tigers'

best man. Terrific. That's

nothing. We just grabbed them and brought

them in. Sure did. You did great. Not

quite. What's that?It was me who got one

of those fellas. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeahMadam fellas, I've decided

to send these two men tomorrow morning to

the main city. To the police and let

them taste the prison line. Yeah.

OK, take 'em. No, no,

no,

noNoNoI think that the tiger won't leave

things like this. Hey, don't

worry. We have secret

weapons. Secret weapons?

Hey, what's that you're doing there?

You see this thing here?It's a special

weapon, and I invented it myself.

One, it protects. Two,

it rebounds. Oh, that's good. But

still, that tiger guy's a real tough

fella. I don't know how you can handle

him. Huh

Another secret weapon. I call that the

killing shoe. Oh, I get it.

Uh, I guess I'm finished. Huh There's

people who dare challenge me.

People who would actually dare to

challenge the tiger.

Hey, now listen.

Since we can't fight these guys,

then we just give up and we leave here.

What are you talking about?

I

know he's gone nuts. Sure...

Crazy. Crazy, yeah. Crazy!

Don't you misjudge me! I am a

genius!

I got it! Got it!I

got it. Hey, boss, you got a plan?Uh,

well, of course. I've got a

plan, and that's why I'm the chief here.

Hey, boss, tell us what the plan is. I'll

tell you. Tomorrow, you send a note by

messenger. Send it to my good friend, the

Golden Lion. HuhHuhThe

Golden Lion?Who's the Golden Lion?Hey,

let me tell you guys. If he

comes here, those two fellas wouldn't

have a chance. Ha ha ha.

And be careful.

Shh! You fool!

Do you want to die?You know that we're

not good fighters. And so we're leaving,

while we still can. If they catch

us, they'll finish us, you fool!

Oink. Oink.

I just want to save my life.

Wesley, birds. Tell me.

You hear me?

Are you dumb?Hey,

heyYou want to go to the village?

And as soon as I can, too, to kill some

guys.

Hey, who are they?

Some fellows hired by the village to

fight my friend the tiger.

Tell him. Tell him. Go that way.

Over there with those guys they hired.

They're really tough. Yeah, yeah, really.

Really. Really. And vicious.

Now, these fellas, are they as tough as

me?No.

You're tougher for sure. For sure.

Your kung fu's great. It's great. But

still-- But still what?But still,

I hear those guys left yesterday.

So your trip is useless, you see?

Well, I won't quit till I smell blood.

Those fellas may have left, but they're

still a village! I'll go then I'll wipe

the whole damn land out!

Well, in that case, you should go that

way. First you head north, then head

west, and the village is right there.

Yes, that's right. The village is over

there. Yes, right there.

Oh,

my God. Let's run. Come

on. Come on

Hey, are you so frightened that you

can't even run?

Listen. Yes?I'm not leaving.

I'm going back. You what?Go

back. You mean that?Have you

just got tired of living or something?

Well, I've no money for a wreath for you.

What an idiot. Come

on. Listen. Just think. Those

villagers back there saved up all their

money to give us that silver. Ah

That was their fault. It was their idea.

What's more, they had to pay for all

those big meals that we had and for the

rooms in that place, too. Hey, you even

had a woman, too. Huh That was free

of charge. Hmm

They were good to us. Now we desert them

when trouble's coming. Hey.

That's a very unethical thing to do.

Yeah?And just when did you

learn such a big word?Hey, kid,

let me remind you of something.

This world has never had much sympathy

for ethical men. Now, you kill and

rob and you can live on a bed of roses.

But you be nice and kind and you'll live

a dog's life.

Hey, well, are you

coming or not?

You go on. I'm going back there.

Hey! We really splitting up.

HmmHey! Hey, hey, hey, hey

Now look.

We get on real fine. We make good

partners, huhI'm not going to ask you to

risk your life. What?Hey,

are you saying I'm a coward?

Well, I didn't say it.

Ulla, if you're gonna go back there,

you're gonna have to fix that killer

first. But we can't handle him.

I know that. He's tough. Now

Kung Fu isn't good enough. For sure. So

what are we gonna do?It's a

problem. Yeah. 'Cause we're

gentlemen. That's why we can't

handle thugs. But still, ladies

sometimes can. Ladies can. Yeah.

Hey, Hey good idea!

Lady, it could work. A

beauty trap! Of course! A beauty trap! A

beauty trap!

Listen, one question. Where's the

lady?

Well, where can we find a lady?I'm a

lady! Finally

found you! What do

you want?I want to learn that stumbling

technique. God, you mean you're still

anxious to learn that?

Right, we'll teach you. But still,

you must do something for us first. Oh,

what's that?

Oh. Hey.

All right. Right

Still, there's one more problem. What's

that?The tigress.

AhWell, I guess that I'm number 12 now.

Right. Just one dozen. That's right. One

dozen.

I'm number one. now listen, a girl

must look to the future. And since you're

the 12th husband I've had now, who'll

guarantee that you'll last very long?

That's true. Well,

then. Suppose I may as

well order my coffin now.

All men must die. So for the

sake of the village, I've no choice.

I'll sacrifice myself for the village.

You're so good.

You're bad. Come on. Try

this one. Thank you.

And some of

this. Cheers.

Drink it.

So much. When you fight tomorrow,

you be careful that you don't get hurt. I

look after myself just for

you.

And tonight I'll sleep with you, but you

make sure you leave me some strength. Oh,

you're bad. Come on, eat out

now.

Oh, another toast.

I present you with your cook-on's hat.

Mr. Chin, there's me.

What about me?Oh, I

like you as well. Promise

you tonight you have fun.

Seems like I can give you the hat back

completely untouched.

Stupid thing. Let's get rid of it.

Boss. Boss.

You scared me.

What, John?Boss.

The Golden Lion, he's here. Oh, where is

he?Oh, he's... He's at the Flower

Brother. Oh?That place again?

So you want protection money?You'll have

to beat me first. Hey, I don't

bully women.

That's so?Yeah. But I like to bully men,

though. Like to try me?

Oh, sure.

I

got teeth. Chop teeth. She got

teeth. He's not got

teeth. A friend of mine told me her

friend's got a stone frame. He's hard as

a rock. He just banged his head. Umm

Hey, ready?

Ohh

Get the bags. Let's

him finish then. Hey, I got

finished. What?The

stumbling technique.

you promised me that. Me?Look. Come on.

Come onWhat?

Help me. What?

Damn you. Hey, husband.

We should try not to waste a minute

tonight. It'll be so

nice. Hey, look, I'll

take a bath and get changed. You wait for

me. Don't move. Hey.

Hey, I... Now look!

You promised me!

Right. Go on.

Hey, now, now, now, don't move. Let me

tell you, if you don't obey me and stay

very still, I'll goddamn smash

you.

Golden Lion. We ripped your mane off.

The day that you messed with me was real

unlucky for you, huhBut you asked for

what you got. I tell you, frankly,

nobody with any sense dares mess with me.

Now, if I want, there's

nobody in this whole damn world that I

can't beat. No one at all that I can't

lick. Right.

I remember the time. Some years ago,

when I got the better of a whole bunch of

bandits, and all by myself too, I

stood there calmly, took up a firm

stance, and I faced them. First

two of the gang made a rush for me, but I

used the sweeping cloud style on them,

and I smashed both of them to the ground.

A third one, he made a flying leap for

me, but I saw him coming though, and I

casually kicked him.

That settled him. Then a fourth one came

on. Thought he had a chance, but I

grabbed hold of him, though, and with a

quick jerk I simply tossed him away.

Then the first two decided they'd try

again. I divided them and I gave them

both a taste of my fist and they didn't

like that. And then another fella came at

me from behind. He lasted just three

seconds. Then another two came from the

front, so I let them all a taste of my

fist too. And then another

one. He thought he had a chance. But

still, I was in no hurry. I

acted really cool. I took out

my stick from behind me.

And then, slowly, slowly,

I walked forward. And then

slowly lifted my hand.

Higher. Higher.

And then I got ready to bring it down

with every ounce of my strength.

What's happened?He fainted.

HuhFainted?Yeah. Hey,

boss. Boss, what's wrong?What's the

matter?I fainted. Oh, no,

no it wasn't you. It was him. It was him.

It was him.

Hey, boss, what do we do now?

But you said that you wanted to learn

some Kung Fu. Right now. I want to learn

something else.

Husband?Husband, where are you?

Husband?It's strange.

Husband?

Hey, have you seen my husband?Where's my

husband?You silly old cow,

you!

Where now?

Alright, what's going on?Where do you

think you are?

Hey, where's my husband now?

Well, isn't he with you?He's not. He

simply disappeared when I was having my

bath.

I think he slipped off. You're a bastard

so he's scared of me! Come on.

When men hear your name, they're all

scared. What?Do you really believe that

men don't want me?If I give them just a

hint, they'd be lighting up.

Well, I guess there's still tomorrow.

Tomorrow

Don't worry. I'll handle the tiger.

Hey, what's wrong?Ah, it's bad.

Your friend has just disappeared. Can you

handle this alone?Oh, God, don't you

worry. I got the problem completely

wrapped up now. Oh, good. I can ask for

absolutely anything. When that tiger

comes tomorrow, you can have your

revenge, I promise you. Meanwhile, let's

hit him. Give it to him. Let me

have a go. It's fun.

Hold it. Well, the

air around this place is so refreshing.

Well, it's your turn now, huh

Hey, it's that bull fella. Oh,

so it's the hero, eh

Hey, what are you doing?Hey, are you

the chief of Monkey Hill, a so-called

tiger?Ah, that's right.

I've been the chief of Monkey Hill for

years. Tell me, didn't you

invite a friend to help you?Oh, sure,

but still, that

arrived. Not arrived.

In fact, he came here before you.

He's right there. Oh, my God. Who's in

there?How can you treat a man like that?

Oh, that's easy. Like this.

Want some more?

Hey, I tell you, if you want to have

your friend back, it's real simple. But

there are some conditions. All right, but

what are they?Listen, as from today,

you don't come into this village again.

Umm Well, all right. Now what else, then?

God damn him.

Also, as I'm now the official protection

for this village here, you'll have to pay

protection fees, 500. Well,

all right, no problem.

No fighting and the money as well. Great.

What else?Also, you must call

me Godfather. HuhOh, sure. You can teach

me to come forward.

And anything else?Also, as I

like you very much indeed, I think that

I will adopt you.

That all?That's all.

Hey, you want to fight?Look

there. Oh,

well, I realize you're a hero.

So then, how about you give us a

demonstration?What do you think?Oh, yeah,

sure. Yeah, right there. Well,

all right, sure. I'll give you a

demonstration. Catch. Oh.

All right.

You finished?Oh, that was nothing. Just

warming up. What's that called?

Oh, it's catching the shadow.

Oh, catching shadow technique. All

right, we'll show you our techniques next

time. Hmm

Use your head.

Ah, you fool. What are you doing?Hey,

boss, it's of no use. Hmm Put

me down, will you?What's that?

Well, that's a tiger's claw.

Tigers,

come

on.

Well, I'm sorry. It wasn't me.

Come on, hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Come on.

ohh The bear protection cap!

ah

Well, Tiger, so fierce.

Well, do some more. It's you! Let

me tell you, my 12th husband has just

disappeared. Here's your chance.

Oh, no, thanks. I don't. I don'tYou got

teeth. Hey, help

me.

Well, Baldy, we meet again.

Your plan did work, but it doesn't mean

it was in that bag.

What's happening?

God damn you! I'll kill you!

ohh

We call that changing the position

technique!

Oh, God, Husband! Wolfenham will be

beaten to death! Go and help him! Quit

hurrying! You're gonna help him! Come on!

I don't have any strength left! We'll

fight! You'll be sorry when you get home!

HuhCome on. Fight. Come on, you can

do it. Chris, go help him! Oh,

yeah. Get yourself ready, then!

Chip! Chip out!

Hey, where you from?From nowhere.

Raise your arms. Ohh

Butterfly style.

Fly!

Hey you! What's that called,

huhWell,

butterfly. Now, come

on. Big smile.

Sure.

Now change positions. One.

Two.

Three.

Go get him. Go on, man. Yeah.

Backwards.

Forward. Downward.

Hey, you have one leg.

Watch out. And again.

Now fly.

Ready?And now

fly.

Again! Again! Again! Okay! To the right!

To the left! Now kneel

and smile. Come on, Paul!

The Russian duet.

Now ball, and turn,

and wave.

Now, kick. And now kick.

Now kick. And again now.

And pose. And smile.

Look left. And now

you fly. Fly, fly, fly,

fly. And look

right.

And fly again. Fly, fly,

fly.

Fly, fly,

fly. Now fall.

And smile.

What's that?

Yeah, something new.

My invention of rebounding vest.

Now give them a fire, blaster!

The chain kick!

Now then!Fly right, fly left!

Smile, huhYou're a new star

now, blindfaced!

Hey! Hey, are you all right, then?Huh

Shit You tried to kill me,

you bastard you! HuhWhen I was

stuck in that bag, you kept beating me!

Go on! Go

on!

Whoa, hurry!

Right, here you go.

Oh, God! We missed him again. We'll get

him this time, though. Quick!

Come on. Let's do it properly this time.

Come on, Ray, pull.

Hey, whoa, no! Quick!

Let's go!