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1
00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:07,341
[pop music]
2
00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:09,468
- [Billie sighs]
- It's not fair.
3
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,637
You're flying business class
and I'm stuck here?
4
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:13,597
[dad] Your parents
are making you spend summer
5
00:00:13,681 --> 00:00:15,683
- on a lake... We're monsters.
- But I'm losing
6
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,685
two months of swim training
and senior prep
7
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,271
and missing the junior
climate conference I organized.
8
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,440
[mom] Okay, everyone
needs an off-season, hon.
9
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,275
[Billie] But I said I'm sorry.
10
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:26,211
- Why can't I just come home?
- [mom] You know why.
11
00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,070
Now, daddy and I both
feel it's safer with you
12
00:00:28,154 --> 00:00:30,048
in the country while
we're on tour with the book.
13
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:32,032
[Billie]
You think it's safer here?
14
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:34,076
I'm about to get eaten
by inbred hillbillies or
15
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,430
- rumble with drunken townies.
- And it's important to know
16
00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,265
your birth father now that
he's back in the country.
17
00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:39,790
I have a dad
18
00:00:39,874 --> 00:00:41,500
who's usually
pretty cool when he's
19
00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,627
not sending me back
to the factory for parts.
20
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,939
We're giving you a chance to
connect with your birth story.
21
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,965
You know how daddy and
I feel about open adoption.
22
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,759
- [sighs]
- Just once.
23
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:51,802
Angry nuns hiding a slutty
teen mom might be nice.
24
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:54,013
[mom] Well, you know,
Justin does skew a bit slutty
25
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,557
but good luck trying to find
his skeleton in a closet.
26
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,933
"Rainbow pops."
27
00:00:58,017 --> 00:01:00,060
That's just a bit on the nose.
28
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,771
Chocolate.
29
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,606
Uh, pandering.
30
00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:06,567
Vanilla...
is probably triggering.
31
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,402
Oreo.
32
00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:10,946
Definitely insulting.
33
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:13,449
And Neapolitan is
every flavor of colonialism.
34
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,578
- Do you need a hand?
- Wah...
35
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,205
- Back there?
- Um...
36
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,916
Uh, um...
37
00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:26,545
Uh no, I'm great,
I'm good. I got my...
38
00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:28,088
I got my stuff.
39
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,757
I just have to get
a couple of things.
40
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,968
Some cafecito,
41
00:01:33,052 --> 00:01:34,887
cheddar, little bit of smep...
42
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,806
Don't know what that is.
43
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,141
And who doesn't want
a fruity hole?
44
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,561
Weirdo sausage cooker.
45
00:01:42,645 --> 00:01:45,898
Bugs,
don't want any of that stuff.
46
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:48,400
- [clattering]
- [Riley] I got it.
47
00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:49,819
[Justin] Sorry.
48
00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:52,571
- Hi.
- Hi.
49
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,323
Hi.
50
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,449
Hi.
51
00:01:56,659 --> 00:01:58,077
No ice cream?
52
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,912
You lose
the argument back there?
53
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,207
Oh yes.
Uh, very lactose intolerant.
54
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,627
Who needs to douche after
a shot of two percent, right?
55
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,047
TMI...
56
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,424
- Yi-yi.
- [chuckles]
57
00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:15,219
No, my daughter is an athlete,
58
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:18,472
so you know, it is just
a bit of, like, a fit shamer.
59
00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:20,391
Wow. My daughter.
60
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,142
That is so weird
to say out loud.
61
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,644
Only if it's not your daughter.
62
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,771
No, I... I had her in high school
63
00:02:25,855 --> 00:02:27,356
and then I took off
to Australia.
64
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,066
That's why I'm so young...
65
00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:32,528
But there was an adoption
in between that time.
66
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:34,405
So like, she's got parents
and they love her
67
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,248
and she feels really good
about it and I feel
68
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,117
really good about it.
I mean, it was tough
69
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,178
for a little while, like,
you know, good five years where
70
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,705
I was just like a total mess.
But no, it's great now.
71
00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,708
I'm just looking after her
while they're away and
72
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,250
it's our first
vacation together.
73
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,752
I got us a sweet
little place up on the lake.
74
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,462
Lucky to find a spot.
75
00:02:50,546 --> 00:02:51,881
It's mostly lifers up here.
76
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,465
Yeah, I know. I know.
77
00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:55,968
My grandparents used
to own a cottage up here
78
00:02:56,051 --> 00:02:57,887
then my dad sold it because
my stepmom wanted
79
00:02:57,970 --> 00:02:59,722
some shitty condo
in Florida or something.
80
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,891
Ouch. Oh,
81
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:05,185
but without their shining
example of marital dystopia,
82
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,122
I'd have missed out
on years of formative trauma
83
00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:09,231
dating any bearded
man-child with tat...
84
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:13,444
...Toos.
85
00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:16,780
[beep]
86
00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:20,659
Have a great summer.
87
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,456
They look great on you.
88
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,252
[Billie] I thought we were
stopping for ice cream.
89
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,715
That better be your shit.
90
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:35,883
[Justin] Yeah.
91
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,639
What happened?
92
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,265
I think I just tried to seduce
93
00:03:43,349 --> 00:03:45,392
my prison hipster fantasy
with anal douching.
94
00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:47,353
That's what my generation
doesn't have sex.
95
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:48,854
- Ugh.
- Oh...
96
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,565
- Whoa!
- What?
97
00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:53,192
Still plugged in.
98
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,110
Well, how much longer
till a full charge?
99
00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:57,488
- 30 minutes.
- 30 minutes?
100
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,239
Saving the environment
takes time.
101
00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,408
- Oh, God!
- [horn honks]
102
00:04:01,492 --> 00:04:06,413
[pop music] ♪ Ooh, whoa... ♪
103
00:04:06,497 --> 00:04:09,500
♪ I wanna be
with you everywhere ♪
104
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:12,920
♪ Ooh, whoa... ♪
105
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:15,547
♪ I wanna be
with you everywhere ♪
106
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:20,012
I know I probably should
have gotten one of those
107
00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:21,929
four by four things, but...
108
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:24,556
it just seems so homophobic.
109
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,351
Hey, you've seen pictures
of the cottage I rented, right?
110
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,395
So cute.
111
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,313
Fingers crossed there's AC.
112
00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:32,982
Air conditioning
is one of the biggest
113
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,942
contributors to climate change.
114
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:36,902
Right. Who needs AC on a lake?
115
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,077
[upbeat pop music plays]
116
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,621
- [sighs]
- See?
117
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:50,833
Total lakeside fantasy.
118
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,752
♪
119
00:04:56,505 --> 00:05:00,676
[horror instrumental]
120
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,886
And '80s horror realness.
121
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:07,141
I'll have to stay a virgin if
I want to make it to Labor Day.
122
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:10,102
Now feels like the right time
to start drinking.
123
00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:12,646
Maintaining
a low key buzz is critical
124
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:14,481
to every college experience.
125
00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:17,317
So is Mama a Rose or a...
126
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,569
Sauv Blanc?
127
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,612
Mama is 16.
128
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:22,990
Right.
129
00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:25,284
So maybe just
a swim in the lake.
130
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:28,787
Everything feels better
after a swim in the lake.
131
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,583
[gasping]
132
00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:34,877
I got it.
133
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,628
- [Billie] Ew.
- [Justin] What?
134
00:05:36,712 --> 00:05:39,006
Don't tell me you've never
swum in a lake before?
135
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,400
You're supposed to
be training for, like,
136
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:41,759
the baby Olympics or something.
137
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,469
There better not be any leeches.
138
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:46,346
[woman] Actually,
leeches are excellent
139
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:47,973
for curing hypertension,
140
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:51,018
also for reattaching fingers
after surgery.
141
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,561
Just like
the cure for hemorrhoids
142
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:53,979
the Romans had hoped.
143
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:57,316
Hello, my name is Irika.
144
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:58,942
I have the cottage next door.
145
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,070
Hola. Hi, I'm Justin.
146
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:03,089
- This is my daughter, Billie.
- Uh, birth daughter.
147
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,448
- I'm adopted.
- [Justin] Yes,
148
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,241
but it was an open adoption so
149
00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:08,136
the birth parents are still
part of their kid's life.
150
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,637
He got his best friend
pregnant at prom
151
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,121
like in a dumb teen comedy.
152
00:06:11,205 --> 00:06:12,664
But not funny
because we thought we'd
153
00:06:12,748 --> 00:06:14,225
ruined our lives
and our families hated us.
154
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:17,878
Oh. Well,
wolves raise pups communally.
155
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:19,630
The male emu looks
after the young
156
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,513
while the female goes
in search of a new mate.
157
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:25,928
Yes. Yeah. Polyemu-ry
is a valid life choice.
158
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,889
I have a little
[indistinct] hour around five.
159
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,224
Please come by any time.
160
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,809
- Okay. Thanks.
- Great.
161
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,852
[Irika] Dido.
162
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:37,272
Tra-la-la.
163
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:39,525
Please tell me that's seaweed.
164
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:42,361
Unwaxed seaweed,
but the hat's a fresh spin.
165
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,779
You still wanna swim in that?
166
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,864
- No, I think we'll canoe...
- Awesome.
167
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:49,451
And let this lake
air out a little bit.
168
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:54,206
♪
169
00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:58,377
♪
170
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,546
[Justin] Oh, no, no, no.
You make a J.
171
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,548
You make a J with your paddle,
make a J...
172
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,049
[Billie] Uppercase or lowercase?
173
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,759
[Justin] Well no,
just like a letter J.
174
00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:07,803
- Just like J for like Justin.
- [Billie] Okay!
175
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:11,181
Yeah, okay or like, Lustin.
That also works.
176
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,477
[Justin] Hey,
you see that cottage?
177
00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:16,812
[Billie] Yeah.
178
00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:18,230
[Justin]
That's the Henderson's.
179
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:19,815
After 30 years
of subpar banging,
180
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,608
Mrs. Henderson
leased her husband out
181
00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,735
to her best friend,
Maureen, two nights a week.
182
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:27,656
But escandalo, Mr. Henderson
broke the agreement
183
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:31,076
and married Maureen
at Tilt-a-Palooza next summer.
184
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,953
- Tilt-a-Palooza?
- Yeah,
185
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,514
it's the last event
on the lake before
186
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:36,123
the boathouse shuts
for the season.
187
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,625
There's a regatta.
It's a potluck throw down.
188
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,460
There's the Tilt Off.
Everybody competes
189
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,212
for shitty prizes
and bragging rights
190
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,131
and people hold grudges
for generations.
191
00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:45,674
Sounds about white.
192
00:07:47,426 --> 00:07:48,626
- [Justin sighs]
- And that one
193
00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:49,803
used to be ours.
194
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,555
My great grandfather built it.
195
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,515
It was my happy place
till my dad remarried
196
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:56,059
and my wicked stepsister
ruined everything.
197
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,396
I spent every summer
there as a kid.
198
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,273
Who owns it now.
199
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:02,482
I don't know.
200
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,695
Do you want to find out?
201
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,155
Shouldn't we call first?
202
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,240
No, I'm just a neighbour.
203
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:11,783
I'm dropping in
on another neighbour.
204
00:08:11,867 --> 00:08:14,203
Feels more like trespassing.
205
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,829
Justin, I don't like this.
206
00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,831
Well, you should probably
turn us around then.
207
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:23,503
Uh-oh, someone needs
to work on their J-stroke.
208
00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:30,302
♪
209
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,638
Ugh. Do you believe how...
210
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,598
[Billie] Gorgeous it is?
211
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,850
It's like heaven took a nap.
212
00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:38,727
And that dock.
213
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,604
I want a baby with that dock.
214
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,856
- [knocking]
- Hello!
215
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,945
- [knocking]
- Okay. We came, we knocked.
216
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,988
- We leave.
- No, Come on!
217
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,740
I want to see how
these power douches
218
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,493
ruined the homestead
with their exquisite taste.
219
00:08:57,162 --> 00:08:59,414
You know, you climb up that,
220
00:08:59,498 --> 00:09:00,916
you can get in
through the window.
221
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,501
It's how I snuck home
after curfew...
222
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,711
Except you're not 12
and that's a felony.
223
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:06,255
No! It's an adventure.
224
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,048
It's like a classic,
summer shenanigan.
225
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,050
See, for a Black girl,
breaking and entering
226
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,677
is more a,
"When they see us" adventure
227
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,762
than a Wet, Hot American
Summer shenanigan.
228
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:15,347
Fair point. Okay.
Just keep an eye out
229
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,432
to see if anybody
comes back, okay?
230
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,184
[laughs]
231
00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:20,560
I'm doing it!
232
00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,562
Birth dad is doing it.
233
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:25,065
Mom will definitely let me
come home if she sees this.
234
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,484
- Damn.
- [Justin] Yep.
235
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,986
I'm still flexible.
236
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:35,492
[panting]
237
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,294
Holy shit.
238
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,463
Oh, it's all the same.
239
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,632
[sighs]
240
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,152
Shit. Shit, shit.
241
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,546
No way.
242
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,510
My God, Grandpa.
243
00:10:35,594 --> 00:10:37,179
- Justin.
- Shit!
244
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,222
- Let's go! Someone's coming.
- Okay.
245
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,992
- What are you doing?
- What? It was my grandpa's...
246
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:42,696
Put it back
or I'm calling the Coast Guard.
247
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,478
There's no
Coast Guard on a lake.
248
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,104
It's a committee
and you get elected.
249
00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:47,988
[Billie] Oh, my God.
Would you shut up and go.
250
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,529
Oh!
251
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:58,492
♪ Another place
where I can be ♪
252
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:03,288
♪ Another dream
to carry away ♪
253
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:08,502
♪ To carry away ♪
254
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:16,802
♪ Another world
that waits for me ♪
255
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:20,097
♪ Another life ♪
256
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:24,226
♪ I can wait for love ♪
257
00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:27,604
♪ I can wait for love ♪
258
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:34,986
♪ Till we meet again ♪
259
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:36,780
[music dying]
260
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,698
- [Victor] Uh, who are you?
- Uh, sorry.
261
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,534
We're Billie.
I'm Billie. He's Justin.
262
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:43,453
Yeah, I'm her dad.
I'm her birth dad.
263
00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:45,414
[Billie] I'm adopted.
264
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,082
Gave me up because he's gay.
265
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,750
No, I just
chose parents who could
266
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,877
give her a better life.
Wasn't even out yet.
267
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:52,796
- Well.
- But I am now.
268
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,716
Yes, queen.
269
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,386
Nice to meet you. I'm Victor.
270
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:00,971
- This is my son, Killian.
- Hi.
271
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:02,931
[Killian] What are
you doing on our dock?
272
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,992
[Billie] Oh, my great grand
something built your cottage.
273
00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,828
- He wanted to show me.
- [Justin] Yeah, I did.
274
00:12:06,852 --> 00:12:08,770
I-I knocked. We did knock,
but nobody was home.
275
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:10,730
Maybe you could give us a tour.
276
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:12,691
- Yeah.
- [Victor] I'll ask my wife.
277
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:14,526
- It's her cottage.
- Yeah.
278
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:15,920
[Victor] Everyone's getting
ready for the boathouse
279
00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:17,195
barbecue tonight.
280
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:19,364
- [Justin] Oh...
- You comin'?
281
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,576
Yeah. We wouldn't miss it.
282
00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:26,496
We got so much unpacking to do.
283
00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:29,791
Just loads of it but
it was really nice to meet you.
284
00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,835
- We'll, um...
- [Billie clears her throat]
285
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,378
It was really good to mee...
286
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,046
We'll just get out of your hair.
287
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,858
- [Billie] Yeah.
- You guys need help at all?
288
00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:38,925
[Justin] No, no, no, no, no,
no. No. We're fine.
289
00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:41,219
- Have fun.
- [Justin] Okay, well,
290
00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:42,554
it was great to meet you.
291
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,389
Really great meeting you. Bye.
292
00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:46,308
[Justin] Bye.
293
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,852
[Killian] Why do you need to
ask mom to show the cottage?
294
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:52,272
[Victor] Son, you know your mom
likes everything to be perfect.
295
00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:54,441
For the record,
that's how you get
296
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,151
a tour without
invading someone's home.
297
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,570
A tour of what? Your vagina?
298
00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:01,323
I saw you drooling over
that Aber-zombie.
299
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:04,868
Yeah. And you were eye-boning
his dad, so whatever.
300
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:08,038
Yeah, well I don't need to stay
a virgin to survive the summer.
301
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,831
♪
302
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:12,083
Get ready for some deep dives
303
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:14,127
into septic tanks
tonight at the barbecue.
304
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:17,005
How you flush your poop is
a hot button topic on the lake.
305
00:13:17,088 --> 00:13:18,381
[Billie]
There's no signal here.
306
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,842
Yes. Someone is
coming on Monday.
307
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:23,845
You can ask Irika
to use hers but...
308
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:26,640
I don't know if textiles
and bandwidth are compatible.
309
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,558
Do you know how parenting works?
310
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:30,727
'Cause, baseline,
you keep the kid safe.
311
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,979
Like, don't rent a cottage
in the middle of the woods
312
00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:35,500
if you can't call for help when
invaded by rednecks or demons.
313
00:13:35,524 --> 00:13:37,192
Or don't be the redneck
314
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:39,110
invading someone else's cottage.
315
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,071
I just wanted to show you
where you came from.
316
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,490
- That's all.
- I know where I came from.
317
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,534
Three hundred clicks from here.
And I'm going back
318
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,744
as soon as I tell Mom and Dad
that you broke into...
319
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:50,372
No. Let's just...
Woop, put the pause on.
320
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,541
I-I I just got...
321
00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:55,043
I got a little excited
moving from Face Time
322
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:57,671
to real time, that's all.
323
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,354
I just haven't been
on the same continent
324
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:00,715
as you since you were a baby.
325
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:02,342
Whose fault is that?
326
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,989
[Justin] Look, I don't know
what you did to deserve it
327
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:09,173
but your parents said that
it was either summer with me
328
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,976
or it was
Pioneer Girls Bible camp.
329
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,811
Now, if you would
prefer experimenting
330
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,564
with light lesbianism
and the word of our Lord,
331
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:18,441
then by all means,
call them from the boat house.
332
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,905
Look, Billie,
I know that this is not
333
00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:25,841
the summer that you wanted...
[Billie] Oh? You mean
334
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,985
moderating the virtual climate
conference I organized?
335
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:30,787
- [sighs]
- What is the point
336
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,247
of trying
to save the environment
337
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,873
if you're not gonna
enjoy any of it?
338
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:41,339
I bet that you could ask, uh,
Kissy, kissy Kissian
339
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:43,383
to show you around
the barbecue tonight.
340
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:45,510
I am the child. Me.
341
00:14:45,594 --> 00:14:46,886
Just give it a shot.
342
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,054
At least for tonight.
343
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,682
Just...
344
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,058
Don't try to be my parent.
345
00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:54,060
Never. No.
346
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,688
I'm not like other birth dads.
347
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,690
I'm a cool birth dad.
348
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,984
Are you quoting Mean girls?
349
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,652
Your parents have their Bible.
350
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,362
I have mine.
351
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,323
[loon calling]
352
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,202
[Billie] Pretty extra
for a boat house.
353
00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:14,080
[Justin] Well,
it's over 150 years old.
354
00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:15,707
Used to be a fishing club.
355
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,876
Menfolk only
and then ladies became people.
356
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,961
So, hard pivot.
357
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:21,671
Uh, it's kind of
like if the PTA ran
358
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,632
a daycare for
functional alcoholics.
359
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:27,886
[music plays]
360
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:31,931
[chattering]
361
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:42,484
Why is everyone staring at us?
362
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:45,737
Because my gay ass
giving you up for adoption
363
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,657
was the second biggest
escandala to rock the lake
364
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,326
since Whore-reen shacked up
with Saggy Balls Henderson.
365
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,678
Hot flash:
Whore-reen is the lady
366
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:54,162
we're renting the cabin from.
367
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:57,540
[Billie]
Woah... So much sunburn.
368
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,126
Yeah, the beginning of
the season's always muy charro.
369
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:02,420
We're weeks from peak sunscreen.
370
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:04,255
Too late to make a run for it?
371
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,983
For me, yes. The sharks
are already circling.
372
00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,652
But the lifeguard lounge
down the hall is empty.
373
00:16:07,676 --> 00:16:10,804
- Go run for your life.
- Justin Love joy!
374
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,347
Can't believe you're back, bud.
375
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:14,766
Hey, Wayne. Jane.
376
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,810
- Was that...?
- Child I abandoned? Yes.
377
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,728
- [laughs]
- Hilarious.
378
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,498
That sense of humor hasn't
vanished with your waistline.
379
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:23,108
O-M-Jeepers.
You are so mini now!
380
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,485
Australia.
The misogyny and the melanoma
381
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,070
just melt the fat away.
382
00:16:27,153 --> 00:16:28,822
Is it true?
Did you date a Hemsworth?
383
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,305
- Yeah.
- A Coffs Harbour Hemsworth.
384
00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:32,200
Yeah.
Shorter, more knuckle hair.
385
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,786
Oh, and now you're back
to be a parent
386
00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,080
after giving it up
for the wild gay lifestyle.
387
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:39,374
Well, this place has
seen more threesomes
388
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:40,959
and fists in the tush than me.
389
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:44,421
[laughing]
390
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,965
Hey, listen, you need any help,
you come see us, alright?
391
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:48,842
- We got four now.
- Oh fuck.
392
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,136
[Jane] Terrier, Jerika,
Kerrigan and Olive.
393
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,512
Low motility.
394
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,013
Yeah, they stuck
a bunch of eggs up
395
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,724
because my guys
don't swim so good.
396
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,451
Well, I guess they had
a fucking grappling hook.
397
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,936
They blew out Janie's vulva.
398
00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:03,398
It's so great to have you home.
399
00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:05,692
Just like old times.
400
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,360
Oh fuck, I hope not.
401
00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:09,696
[Jane chuckles]
402
00:17:13,992 --> 00:17:16,786
- [Killian] Hiding?
- Oh, it was a bit.
403
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,330
Housewives of Cottage Country
up there.
404
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,291
What's this
chapter in Sunstroke?
405
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:24,252
[Killian] Tilting.
Its canoe jousting.
406
00:17:24,335 --> 00:17:26,045
Yeah, that definitely
wouldn't happen
407
00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:27,505
with more melanin on the lake.
408
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,674
It's actually
pretty fun, though.
409
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,384
There's
a tournament every summer.
410
00:17:31,468 --> 00:17:32,802
My dad's won it nine times.
411
00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:34,554
One more, he get a free canoe?
412
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,306
Better. He beats
Wayne Moore's record.
413
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,057
That dude's a talking shark.
414
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:40,852
So a bunch of guys
affirming patriarchal rituals
415
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,520
of dominance and aggression.
416
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:43,938
Maybe I should try.
417
00:17:44,022 --> 00:17:45,315
Subvert the system.
418
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,984
You would be going up
against the junior champ.
419
00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:50,612
And I hear he's unbeatable.
420
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,239
Sounds like a dare.
421
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:57,368
So, must be weird not
having the old place, huh?
422
00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,078
Never thought you'd let it go.
423
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,806
Yeah, well, it wasn't
really up to me, Wayne.
424
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,749
Do you know who owns it now?
425
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:06,044
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
I dropped by earlier today.
426
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,504
- Mm.
- Wow.
427
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,339
- Mm.
- And you were cool with that?
428
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,591
Yes. Yeah. Guys,
you can't live in the past.
429
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:14,677
You know,
you gotta move on. And, um...
430
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,888
you know what? I'm actually
gonna go say hi right now,
431
00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:18,765
but it was great
chatting with you both.
432
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:23,269
And you...
You have not changed at all.
433
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,021
- Exactly the same.
- What does that mean?
434
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,356
I don't know.
435
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,650
- Hey, Victor. Hi!
- [Victor] Justin.
436
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,276
[Justin] Yeah.
Do you know Riley?
437
00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,903
Yes, from earlier.
438
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,571
From the gas
and goin' down, not on you.
439
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,240
I mean, like in flames.
440
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,908
Because when we met,
I was such a re...
441
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,952
No. We don't say
that word anymore.
442
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,411
That's a bad word.
443
00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:41,746
So good to meet you again
444
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,957
for a second time
to do this again.
445
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,458
[Victor]
And this is my son, Darian.
446
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,711
- Opal.
- I'm so sorry.
447
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,964
Last time.
Opal is his chosen name.
448
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:52,882
- My pronouns are he and him.
- Hey, me too.
449
00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,300
Pronoun twinsies.
450
00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:56,803
[Victor] We're having
a bit of a rough night.
451
00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,596
Opal's pick got torpedoed
for movie night.
452
00:18:58,680 --> 00:18:59,973
But I got there first.
453
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,808
That's why
there's a sign up sheet.
454
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:04,394
Now, we have
to watch the Minions. Again.
455
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:05,770
I thought Minions were cool.
456
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,522
More like cretins.
457
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,291
You can watch "Carol,"
later with your Zoom crew.
458
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,442
Fine, but Killian can't
watch porn when we do.
459
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:13,152
The buffering's maddening.
460
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,322
Carol.
461
00:19:16,406 --> 00:19:18,116
- Tough sell.
- He's still a bit upset
462
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:20,785
over getting booted off
the talent show committee.
463
00:19:20,869 --> 00:19:22,996
He wanted to replace
the annual show with.
464
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,415
Boathouse Drag Race:
Canadian Diva Edition.
465
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,876
- Oh.
- You start in with Anne Murray.
466
00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:30,420
Work your way
through Jann Arden, K.D. Lang,
467
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,921
Sarah McLachlan.
468
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:33,756
Anyone can do Celine or Shania.
469
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,550
Yeah, that's so true.
470
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:36,968
I really want to meet your wife.
471
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,720
Dying to, in fact.
Is she around?
472
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,805
Yeah, yeah,
473
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,408
there's something
you should know about my...
474
00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:43,474
[Maisie-May] Justin?
475
00:19:46,895 --> 00:19:49,272
Justin Love joy?
476
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,482
- Maisie-May?
- Your stepsister.
477
00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:54,944
[Maisie-May]
Welcome home, little brother.
478
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:03,202
[exhaling quickly]
479
00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:04,871
Wow.
480
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,749
Remember,
brace before you swing.
481
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,626
Oh, I'll brace. Your face.
482
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,085
- [scoffing]
- That's weak.
483
00:20:11,169 --> 00:20:13,129
Still gonna destroy you.
484
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,732
Here's the thing
about pride and fal...
485
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:16,841
[grunting]
486
00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:23,139
Told you to brace...
487
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,766
[grunts]
488
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,019
Works both ways.
489
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:30,396
[Terri] Oh, my God.
Killian, stop pawing her.
490
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,023
She's not a chew toy.
491
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,028
Uh... uh, Billie, this is...
492
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:40,657
uh, Kerri,
Terri, Jerri. And Olive.
493
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,075
- Hi.
- They have the cottage
494
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,576
across from the boathouse.
495
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,220
Look at what we nicked
from the canteen.
496
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:49,207
This Tiltin's
'bout to get turnt.
497
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:56,798
[upbeat pop]
498
00:20:56,881 --> 00:21:00,218
[laughter]
499
00:21:00,301 --> 00:21:04,639
Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!
Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!
500
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:09,394
♪
501
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,437
- You ready, Jerri?
- It's Terri.
502
00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:12,772
Whatever, Taylor.
503
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,357
- Nice.
- Go Terri,
504
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:17,235
- go Terri, go Terri...
- Let's go, Airy.
505
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:20,196
[grunts]
506
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,115
Boom.
507
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:23,366
[grunts]
508
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,702
Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!
509
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,578
- [grunts]
- Shot! Shot! Shot!
510
00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:29,998
Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!
511
00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:32,500
- Maybe that's enough?
- [Billie] Back off, Kissy.
512
00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:35,545
[Justin] I don't understand.
513
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,171
My dad was gonna
sell the cottage
514
00:21:37,255 --> 00:21:40,133
so that your mom could buy,
some, like...
515
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,093
condo in Florida.
516
00:21:42,176 --> 00:21:44,429
[Maisie-May]
He changed his mind.
517
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:46,323
[Justin] So what?
Did you like, buy it from him?
518
00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:47,724
No, he left it to me.
519
00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:52,020
I think he saw how
much it meant to me.
520
00:21:52,103 --> 00:21:53,521
And how much
it meant to the boys.
521
00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,189
He wanted to
keep it in the family.
522
00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:57,608
Yeah, it's weird because
we're not even related.
523
00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:00,945
Your mom is like
barely married to my dad.
524
00:22:01,029 --> 00:22:03,239
16 years. Yeah,
but the first two don't count.
525
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,033
He was still married to my mom.
526
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:09,245
Listen, I know
that you and your...
527
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:12,165
Dad didn't have
an easy relationship.
528
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:14,459
I mean, I'm not making
excuses for his behaviour.
529
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:16,627
After you gave Billie up,
530
00:22:16,711 --> 00:22:18,296
he really did change.
531
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:20,256
You should
have seen him with Opal.
532
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:23,301
And...
533
00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:25,428
And I understand why you left.
534
00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:27,805
I couldn't imagine
giving my babies up.
535
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:31,893
I know how much
the lake meant to you
536
00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,519
when you were growing up.
I mean,
537
00:22:33,603 --> 00:22:35,164
that's why you brought
Billie here, right...
538
00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:36,790
- Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!
- Oh, my God, Billie.
539
00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:38,816
[Maisie-May]
Oh, you know we don't litter.
540
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:40,026
Shot! Shot!
541
00:22:40,109 --> 00:22:41,861
- Drink up!
- [laughter]
542
00:22:41,944 --> 00:22:43,613
Hey, hey, what's going on here?
543
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,073
Oh, hi.
544
00:22:45,156 --> 00:22:47,033
I'm tilting the shit out
of these three...
545
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,256
- Six bitches.
- [Justin] Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
546
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:51,871
Easy, Spinnie-Minnie.
547
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:54,207
- Mm.
- She had it when we got here.
548
00:22:54,290 --> 00:22:56,584
- [Maisie-May] What's goin' on?
- [Billie coughs]
549
00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:58,353
It's fine, Maisie,
I can handle it, alright?
550
00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,296
Well, let me help you.
I know these kids.
551
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,357
I would know them too if
you didn't steal the cottage.
552
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:04,092
- Oh, my God...
- They stole our cottage?
553
00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:05,819
- [Jane] What's going on, girls?
- Uh, I don't know.
554
00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:07,523
We were just teaching her
how to tilt, Mom.
555
00:23:07,553 --> 00:23:09,430
Yeah, she was like
this when we got here.
556
00:23:09,514 --> 00:23:12,308
The rules are very clear about
underage drinking:
557
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:14,727
A two week suspension
from boathouse privileges
558
00:23:14,811 --> 00:23:18,940
and the parents pay a $200 fee
to the Canteen Renovation Fund.
559
00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:21,651
Both biological and adopted.
560
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:24,112
Mm-mm. I don't want to
go to Bible camp.
561
00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:25,655
Shit, your breath.
562
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:28,825
The only one
drinking here is me.
563
00:23:36,624 --> 00:23:39,085
- [gasping]
- Oh, my God.
564
00:23:40,086 --> 00:23:42,588
Oh. You know what?
565
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:44,090
Why shouldn't I be drinking?
566
00:23:45,049 --> 00:23:48,302
My birthright was stolen from me
567
00:23:48,386 --> 00:23:50,596
by trickery and deception.
568
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,557
- There was no...
- De-cep-tion.
569
00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:56,102
[burps]
570
00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:58,855
Oh, fuck. I forgot all
about the wine I, uh...
571
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:00,898
[whispers] Wine before liquor.
572
00:24:00,982 --> 00:24:02,733
- Never sicker.
- That's right, girls.
573
00:24:02,817 --> 00:24:05,319
To reclaim my family hon our,
574
00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:07,655
I challenge you,
575
00:24:07,738 --> 00:24:10,116
Maisie-May,
576
00:24:10,199 --> 00:24:14,620
by the sacred blood oath
of trial by tilt.
577
00:24:14,704 --> 00:24:16,164
That's not a thing.
578
00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:17,665
Come on.
Let's see where this goes.
579
00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:18,875
This could be good. Come on.
580
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:20,751
If defeated in lawful tilt,
581
00:24:20,835 --> 00:24:24,338
you have to return the cottage
to its rightful owners.
582
00:24:25,882 --> 00:24:28,092
Will you answer the call?
583
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:29,385
No... We will.
584
00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:30,845
- What?
- [Victor] Trust me.
585
00:24:30,928 --> 00:24:33,306
The challenge was
actually for Maisie.
586
00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:35,892
Well as her husband
and champion,
587
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,518
I'm sworn to defend her hon our.
588
00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:39,145
A moment, Sir Lancelot.
589
00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:41,272
Mm-mn. You can't win.
590
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:43,649
Victor's been
tilting champ nine...
591
00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:45,443
I lost every tilt
and my father's love
592
00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:48,196
by the third grade,
but if I do this,
593
00:24:48,279 --> 00:24:50,406
no one is going
to remember your drinking.
594
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:53,701
Are you insane? You can't give
away our cottage if you lose.
595
00:24:53,784 --> 00:24:55,828
Just play along.
Babe, he just found out
596
00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:57,663
that his dad gave it to you.
I'll let him
597
00:24:57,747 --> 00:24:59,749
knock me around a little,
make him feel better.
598
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,334
Trust me.
599
00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:02,585
We're ready!
600
00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:04,003
You're gonna humiliate yourself
601
00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:05,671
in front of all these people?
602
00:25:05,755 --> 00:25:06,964
For you?
603
00:25:07,882 --> 00:25:09,383
Anything.
604
00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:11,052
Aww.
605
00:25:11,135 --> 00:25:13,471
But I'm gonna need you
to walk me to the dock
606
00:25:13,554 --> 00:25:15,556
because a lot
is starting to spin.
607
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,433
It's happening, it's happening.
608
00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,101
[Wayne] We got a tilt.
609
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:23,064
- Hi.
- [Riley] Hi.
610
00:25:23,147 --> 00:25:24,815
- Hi.
- [Riley] Hi.
611
00:25:24,899 --> 00:25:27,151
Perhaps we should go inside
and have some bread.
612
00:25:27,235 --> 00:25:30,279
[intense chord plays]
613
00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:34,158
[chattering]
614
00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:47,922
We didn't steal
your dad's cottage.
615
00:25:48,005 --> 00:25:50,132
Birth dad.
616
00:25:50,216 --> 00:25:52,843
And whatever you thought
was happening here...
617
00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:53,970
[blows raspberry]
618
00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:55,096
It's over.
619
00:25:57,890 --> 00:26:00,226
We're not really gonna lose
our cottage if Daddy loses,
620
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:02,937
- Right, Mom?
- No, sweetie.
621
00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:04,355
Just our dignity.
622
00:26:04,438 --> 00:26:06,524
Oh, my God.
623
00:26:06,607 --> 00:26:08,234
Pick it up.
624
00:26:08,317 --> 00:26:09,527
Okay.
625
00:26:09,610 --> 00:26:13,447
- [groaning]
- [crowd cheering]
626
00:26:13,531 --> 00:26:20,079
- [hand drum plays]
- [flute plays]
627
00:26:20,162 --> 00:26:25,876
♪
628
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,004
What the fuck?
629
00:26:29,755 --> 00:26:30,798
Tilt!
630
00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:37,471
[crowd cheers]
631
00:26:38,264 --> 00:26:40,099
Don't forget to brace.
632
00:26:41,434 --> 00:26:42,643
[grunts]
633
00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:44,186
Oh, nope!
634
00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:45,896
[splash]
635
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,277
- Oh, shit.
- [teen girl] Seriously?
636
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:52,945
That was disappointing.
637
00:26:53,029 --> 00:26:55,489
- Ah, I'm gonna grab a beer.
- See?
638
00:26:55,573 --> 00:26:57,033
[man shouting indistinctly]
639
00:26:58,826 --> 00:27:00,494
- [Billie] Hi.
- [Justin weakly] Hi.
640
00:27:00,578 --> 00:27:02,055
[Billie] I don't think
anyone saw you vomit
641
00:27:02,079 --> 00:27:03,497
when you hit the water.
642
00:27:03,581 --> 00:27:05,249
I think there's
a good chance that
643
00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:08,044
Wayne and Jane posted
my Tilt a Hurl online.
644
00:27:09,337 --> 00:27:10,713
Thank you
645
00:27:10,796 --> 00:27:13,424
from saving me
from getting saved.
646
00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:15,152
You know I'm still
going to baptize your ass
647
00:27:15,176 --> 00:27:16,218
in the lake, right?
648
00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:20,181
[groaning]
649
00:27:25,936 --> 00:27:28,272
What happened in Australia?
650
00:27:28,356 --> 00:27:29,815
Why'd you come back?
651
00:27:29,899 --> 00:27:32,526
My ex became
a Buddhist and, you know,
652
00:27:32,610 --> 00:27:34,320
I could deal with the meditating
653
00:27:34,403 --> 00:27:36,739
but it was the chlamydia
that started to feel personal.
654
00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:41,619
But if he hadn't banged
half of Bondi Beach, then...
655
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:43,287
I wouldn't be here with you.
656
00:27:43,371 --> 00:27:45,456
So, thanks, Chris.
657
00:27:46,957 --> 00:27:49,502
Okay, it's your turn.
658
00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:51,754
Why'd your parents want
to send you to Bible camp?
659
00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:55,174
Oh. Uh...
660
00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:58,427
A few sexts
accidentally uploading
661
00:27:58,511 --> 00:28:00,513
to the family cloud may
have convinced them
662
00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:02,324
it was time to reconnect
with my birth story.
663
00:28:02,348 --> 00:28:04,600
Ooh, I thought it was
because you got arrested
664
00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,977
- at that climate march.
- Oh no, they were proud of that
665
00:28:07,061 --> 00:28:09,814
but my booty shots
to Jared, not so much.
666
00:28:09,897 --> 00:28:11,500
Well, it's hard to
get the lighting right.
667
00:28:11,524 --> 00:28:13,109
I mean,
even Captain America made
668
00:28:13,192 --> 00:28:14,610
his pretty dinky look shrinky.
669
00:28:14,693 --> 00:28:16,612
Such a stupid way
to get them to notice me.
670
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:19,198
We've all sexted a Jared.
671
00:28:19,281 --> 00:28:21,909
What was he, like, a DJ?
Or a snowboarder?
672
00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:23,619
Leader of
my activist youth circle.
673
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:25,079
Fuck.
674
00:28:25,162 --> 00:28:26,872
I'm so old.
675
00:28:27,998 --> 00:28:29,625
Well,
if your parents sent you here,
676
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:31,544
he must be either 40 or 12.
677
00:28:31,627 --> 00:28:33,003
Ew. 22.
678
00:28:33,087 --> 00:28:34,567
And he starts
grad school in the fall.
679
00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:36,298
Because that's why
you sent those pics?
680
00:28:36,382 --> 00:28:38,509
For his big... brain?
681
00:28:40,803 --> 00:28:43,514
But if you hadn't
sent him child porn,
682
00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:44,890
then you wouldn't be here.
683
00:28:44,974 --> 00:28:47,476
So thanks, Jared.
684
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:48,811
[Killian] Who's Jared.
685
00:28:49,645 --> 00:28:50,771
Oh, um...
686
00:28:52,523 --> 00:28:55,192
Uh, he's my, um...
My weed dealer.
687
00:28:55,276 --> 00:28:57,194
God, wished he delivered.
688
00:28:57,278 --> 00:28:59,822
Hangovers. Ah. Right?
689
00:29:01,282 --> 00:29:04,577
Um, Mom wanted me to give you
some of your dad's old stuff.
690
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:07,079
- Hey, thanks.
- [Killian] Mm-hm.
691
00:29:10,624 --> 00:29:12,126
Don't get into drinking contests
692
00:29:12,209 --> 00:29:13,544
with Kerri, Terri or Jerri.
693
00:29:13,627 --> 00:29:15,087
Olive's the weak link.
694
00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:18,299
Right.
695
00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:22,553
Holy shit, I think
he just proposed to you in boy.
696
00:29:22,636 --> 00:29:24,388
His family stole our cottage.
697
00:29:25,139 --> 00:29:27,057
But maybe there's regret
698
00:29:27,141 --> 00:29:29,435
and a sound environmental
policy under those abs.
699
00:29:30,436 --> 00:29:32,146
Now you're
too young to daydream,
700
00:29:32,229 --> 00:29:34,315
so you need a project. Go.
701
00:29:34,398 --> 00:29:36,025
Make out town is that way.
702
00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:39,445
[pop plays]
703
00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:45,284
♪
704
00:29:45,367 --> 00:29:48,829
Killian! Killian!
705
00:29:48,913 --> 00:29:50,080
Ugh.
706
00:29:50,164 --> 00:29:55,211
♪
707
00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:03,135
Hey, I found this.
708
00:30:05,221 --> 00:30:06,305
[grunts]
709
00:30:07,348 --> 00:30:09,475
Are you okay?
710
00:30:09,558 --> 00:30:11,185
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
711
00:30:11,268 --> 00:30:12,311
Great.
712
00:30:15,397 --> 00:30:17,277
Didn't you shove that
down your pants yesterday?
713
00:30:21,570 --> 00:30:23,405
My grandpa made it.
714
00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:26,200
My grandma taught me
to needlepoint at the cottage.
715
00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:30,037
So, we'd embroider when
it rained. And my dad...
716
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,289
hated it.
717
00:30:32,373 --> 00:30:34,017
You know, because
he thought I should be out
718
00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:36,627
catching frogs
or pissing on shit
719
00:30:36,710 --> 00:30:39,171
or doing whatever it is
that little straight boys do.
720
00:30:40,464 --> 00:30:42,591
But then when grandma died,
721
00:30:42,675 --> 00:30:45,636
my grandpa let me teach him
the pet it point and it just...
722
00:30:46,637 --> 00:30:48,681
It just kept her alive for us.
723
00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:53,811
"There once
was a man from Chile,
724
00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:56,105
with holes down
the length of his willy.
725
00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:58,274
When he got an erection,
he could play a selection
726
00:30:58,357 --> 00:31:00,401
of the opera Aida by Verdi?"
727
00:31:01,777 --> 00:31:03,153
Um...
728
00:31:03,237 --> 00:31:06,282
He was a little racist.
729
00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:08,492
[Justin sniffles]
730
00:31:13,455 --> 00:31:15,374
So where's Killian.
731
00:31:15,457 --> 00:31:17,376
Oh, he's gone already.
732
00:31:17,459 --> 00:31:19,920
Think this fell out
of the box he brought us?
733
00:31:26,302 --> 00:31:28,345
It's an addendum to Dad's will.
734
00:31:28,429 --> 00:31:29,597
What?
735
00:31:31,181 --> 00:31:33,017
Maisie doesn't own the cottage.
736
00:31:34,518 --> 00:31:36,270
It's in a trust.
737
00:31:36,353 --> 00:31:38,689
And if she ever leaves...
738
00:31:41,358 --> 00:31:43,277
it passes to me.
739
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,447
Your dad changed his will so
you could get the cottage back.
740
00:31:46,530 --> 00:31:49,575
No. I... I doubt it.
I mean, I begged him,
741
00:31:49,658 --> 00:31:51,535
I begged him
not to sell the cottage.
742
00:31:51,619 --> 00:31:53,939
And then he said to me, "Well,
if keeping it in the family"
743
00:31:53,996 --> 00:31:55,807
was so important to you,
then why'd you give up
744
00:31:55,831 --> 00:31:57,207
- "my only grand kid?"
- Dark.
745
00:31:57,291 --> 00:31:59,084
If we could get Maisie
to leave...
746
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:01,629
Like if we could find
the right push...
747
00:32:01,712 --> 00:32:02,921
Like off a dock?
748
00:32:03,005 --> 00:32:04,149
Well, no.
She's a varsity swimmer.
749
00:32:04,173 --> 00:32:06,133
We'd have to hold her under.
750
00:32:06,216 --> 00:32:08,510
We need to give Maisie
a reason to leave.
751
00:32:08,594 --> 00:32:10,054
And then what?
752
00:32:10,137 --> 00:32:15,309
And then
we take back what's ours.
753
00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:19,688
Because your birth dad
ain't nobody's bitch.
754
00:32:19,772 --> 00:32:21,690
[rock plays]
♪ Heard you missed us ♪
755
00:32:21,774 --> 00:32:23,567
♪ Yeah, guess who's back ♪
756
00:32:23,651 --> 00:32:25,027
Mm!
757
00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:30,866
♪ Guess who's back ♪
758
00:32:34,703 --> 00:32:36,288
♪ Guess who's back ♪
759
00:32:36,372 --> 00:32:39,041
♪ Wake up the people
Sh-shake it out ♪
760
00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:42,044
♪ Hope you don't mind if
we get a little loud ♪
761
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:44,380
Hey!
762
00:32:48,384 --> 00:32:51,887
♪ I'm on a new kick
Yeah, sing some more ♪
763
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:54,807
♪ The future is
knockin' at your door ♪
764
00:33:00,938 --> 00:33:03,357
♪ Heard you missed us ♪
765
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:05,901
♪ Heard you missed us ♪
766
00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,695
♪ Yeah, guess who's back ♪
767
00:33:07,778 --> 00:33:10,155
♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
768
00:33:10,239 --> 00:33:12,282
♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
769
00:33:12,366 --> 00:33:13,575
♪ Guess who's back ♪
770
00:33:13,659 --> 00:33:16,203
♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
771
00:33:16,286 --> 00:33:19,206
♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
772
00:33:21,667 --> 00:33:23,293
♪ Guess who's back! ♪
55337
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