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1
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[instrumental music]
2
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[phone hangs up]
3
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,298
[man#1] No answer.
4
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:50,884
- [man#2] Must be out shopping.
- [man#1] God forbid.
5
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,427
[man#2] Why do you say that?
6
00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:56,348
[man#1] Mo reason. It's just something men
say when they talk about their wives.
7
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,725
One guy says, "She must be out shopping. "
8
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:00,936
The other guys says, "God forbid. "
9
00:01:02,939 --> 00:01:05,315
- [man#1] It's ajoke.
- [man#2] Oh. [chuckles nervously]
10
00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:12,447
[instrumental music]
11
00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:29,965
So what do you make of all this, Bob?
12
00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:33,927
- What do you mean?
- How's it feel to be out on the road?
13
00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:37,973
[sighs] I can see
where it could be tiring.
14
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:40,183
Yeah, there's a lot to this job.
15
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,645
You'd never know it,
but there's a lot to it.
16
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:46,523
[train whistle blows]
17
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,318
[bicycle bell dings]
18
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,991
You seem to have been at this a long time.
19
00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:58,660
Tell you the truth, Bob,
20
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:03,498
I feel like I've been shaking somebody's
hand one way or another my entire life.
21
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:06,918
- You're very good at it.
- Well, thank you, Bob.
22
00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:08,670
I mean, judging from what I hear.
23
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,172
Don't qualify it, Bob.
24
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:24,853
- [man] What time you got?
- [Bob] Quarter to 5.
25
00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:26,646
[man] Hmm. Wonder if Larry got in?
26
00:02:26,731 --> 00:02:30,734
- [Bob] Don't you carry a watch?
- [man] The world is full of clocks, Bob.
27
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:35,030
Clocks and mirrors.
It's a damn conspiracy.
28
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,991
Not that it matters to me anymore.
29
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,577
All my chances have come and gone
a long time ago.
30
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,121
Why do you say that?
31
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:44,622
Oh, I'm not complainin'.
32
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:48,752
Everybody peaks somewhere.
People find their niche.
33
00:02:49,754 --> 00:02:51,046
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
34
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,132
[Bob] Uh, how old are you?
35
00:02:55,051 --> 00:02:56,468
If you don't mind me asking.
36
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,635
[man] I'm 52.
37
00:03:02,058 --> 00:03:04,351
[Bob] Your secretary said
you looked distinguished.
38
00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:05,602
[man] She did?
39
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,687
She said your face had character.
40
00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,357
I will give her
the benefit of the doubt
41
00:03:10,441 --> 00:03:13,485
and assume that she meant that
in a favorable vein.
42
00:03:18,074 --> 00:03:21,284
[Bob] Sometimes I wonder what
I'll look like when I get to be your age.
43
00:03:22,370 --> 00:03:24,454
[exhales] Tear my heart out, Bob.
44
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:27,916
- Oh, no. That's not what I meant.
- That's okay.
45
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,585
I've heard tell of people
living well into their 60s.
46
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:32,295
I only hope it's true.
47
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:36,674
[Bob] A-All I mean is,
I wonder how a person attains character.
48
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:39,344
Whether it's something
that you're born with
49
00:03:40,012 --> 00:03:41,930
that kind of reveals itself
over time, or...
50
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,974
whether you have
to go through certain things.
51
00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:47,727
I never think about it.
52
00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:51,231
For all I know, I could have
a face full of character
53
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,399
and not even know it.
54
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,360
- You think?
- [exhales]
55
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,862
It's a two-edged sword, Bob.
56
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,157
[man] So how long
you been with the company?
57
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:02,867
[Bob] Six months.
58
00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:05,453
- Straight out of school?
- Yeah.
59
00:04:06,372 --> 00:04:07,789
[man] Well, a word of advice:
60
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:11,543
It's never too early to start thinking
about where you want to end up.
61
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,254
- [Bob] It's a lot to think about.
- [man] Yes, it is.
62
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:18,508
Pretty soon somebody's gonna be handing
you a cake with 40 candles on it.
63
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,176
Maybe 50.
64
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:24,305
Bunch of people are gonna jump out
of a closet and yell, "Surprise!"
65
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:28,059
Like it's something you haven't been
thinking about every waking moment.
66
00:04:38,404 --> 00:04:40,613
- What's that you're reading?
- Penthouse.
67
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,116
Oh.
68
00:04:43,576 --> 00:04:45,869
- Wanna borrow it when I'm done?
- No, thanks.
69
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,372
- You don't want it?
- No, I don't read magazines like that.
70
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:50,457
Oh. [chuckles]
71
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,376
Are you one of those that believe
that magazines
72
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:54,627
like this shouldn't be published?
73
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,380
I'm one of those who believe
they shouldn't be purchased.
74
00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,717
[man] That was a very clever answer, Bob.
75
00:05:01,677 --> 00:05:03,344
[Bob] I just said what I thought.
76
00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:06,222
[man] That's what I mean.
you did it without thinking.
77
00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:09,601
Which leads me to believe
you could have a career in marketing.
78
00:05:12,605 --> 00:05:15,607
[inaudible]
79
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:22,739
[Bob] What's your wife say
about you reading magazines like that?
80
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,786
It's not my wife's concern.
81
00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:31,247
It's not?
82
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:33,124
No.
83
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:35,960
We're divorced.
84
00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:39,797
Mind if I ask you what the problem was?
85
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,344
[grunts]
Maybe you better try your wife again, Bob.
86
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:46,179
Sure.
87
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:50,892
I just have a real hard time imagining
what it must be like to get a divorce.
88
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,603
The picture becomes perfectly clear...
89
00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,855
after a very short period of time.
90
00:05:58,609 --> 00:05:59,901
Believe me, Bob.
91
00:06:02,071 --> 00:06:03,071
[elevator dings]
92
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,116
Oh, excuse me.
93
00:06:08,953 --> 00:06:10,995
- [bellhop] How're you doin'?
- Pretty good. How 'bout yourself?
94
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,830
Can't complain. What floor?
95
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:15,208
That depends on where you're headed
with all this food.
96
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:16,125
Fifteen.
97
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,127
- Hospitality suite.
- Yeah.
98
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,296
Hmm, me too. On 16.
99
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,132
Oh, yeah.
100
00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:26,928
[elevator dings]
101
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:42,777
This is it?
102
00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:43,861
Hi, Larry.
103
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:46,114
This is fucking it?
104
00:06:47,199 --> 00:06:49,742
What do you mean, "This is fucking it"?
Of course it's it.
105
00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:50,660
What'd you expect?
106
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,079
Phil, buddy,
the operative word was "suite. "
107
00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,416
Hospitality suite, not Hospitality closet.
108
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,001
There's no room in here.
109
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:00,003
I did- It's the best I could do.
110
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,672
Where do you expect people to stand,
out in the hall?
111
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:05,633
What are you bitching about?
It's on the 16th floor.
112
00:07:05,718 --> 00:07:06,551
Look at the view.
113
00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:10,430
Phil, man, we're in Wichita, Kansas.
114
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:13,725
What does it matter whether we're on
the first floor or the 500th floor?
115
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,018
It all looks the same.
116
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,020
Well, then next time
you make the arrangements.
117
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,147
Murdoch would have had a room
four times this size.
118
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:20,982
Oh, yeah? Well, Murdoch's not here, is he?
119
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,317
You can say that again.
120
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:26,446
At least we have something to jump off of
when nobody shows.
121
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:27,363
Fuck you, Larry.
122
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,782
See? That's what I get
for having aesthetic values.
123
00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:31,701
Foul language thrown in my face.
124
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:34,287
[Phil] You know Bob from research?
125
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:36,331
Sure, I know Bob.
How you doing there, Bob?
126
00:07:36,415 --> 00:07:37,248
Hi.
127
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,708
He's on the phone to his wife.
128
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,669
I only hope his wife
does most of the talking.
129
00:07:41,754 --> 00:07:43,880
We've got to conserve
what little oxygen we have.
130
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:49,677
What is this?
131
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,347
What does it look like?
132
00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:54,474
- You tell me.
- It's hors d'oeuvres.
133
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,893
You call these hors d'oeuvres?
134
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,062
Don't start with me, alright, Larry?
135
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,397
Phil, buddy, these are not hors d'oeuvres.
136
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,524
I don't know what that is.
137
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:06,527
Carrot sticks, celery sticks,
couple of ranch dressing
138
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,196
and an overgrown cheese ball?
139
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,240
This- This whole thing was
spur-of-the-moment, you know it.
140
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,284
Do you know what
the tool and dye outfit is serving?
141
00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:15,203
I don't know and I don't wanna know.
142
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:18,414
Shrimp, my friend. Jumbo shrimp on ice.
143
00:08:18,874 --> 00:08:22,043
Oysters on the half shell.
All these weird kind of French cheeses.
144
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,586
These little puff pastries.
145
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,214
That's hors d'oeuvres, Phil,
my friend of many years.
146
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,716
Not this. Downstairs they wouldn't let
a celery stick near the place.
147
00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:30,176
They'd make you check it at the door.
148
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:33,513
- Well, then go eat downstairs tonight.
- Well, I just might have to.
149
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:35,973
Jesus Christ!
Bob, can you believe this?
150
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:40,853
Looks okay to me.
151
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:43,690
Well, that's exactly my point.
You don't know anything.
152
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,734
No offense, but how many
of these things have you been to?
153
00:08:46,819 --> 00:08:48,528
- Just one.
- This one, right?
154
00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,030
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's what I thought.
155
00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:53,199
Who knows, Phil?
Maybe we'll get lucky
156
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:56,202
and everyone that walks through the door
tonight will be a first-timer like Bob.
157
00:08:58,706 --> 00:08:59,747
Is there a problem?
158
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,750
No. There's no problem.
159
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,381
Oh, catching up
on your technical reading there, Phil?
160
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,882
Mind your own business, Larry.
161
00:09:09,967 --> 00:09:12,135
Yeah, I'm not condemning.
I'm just saying I noticed.
162
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,012
You should have seen the girl
that sat next to me on the plane.
163
00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:17,432
- Pretty?
- I should say so, and built,
164
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:20,101
and... wearing a business suit.
165
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:23,688
[chuckles] That's right.
You like 'em in business suits.
166
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,983
There's something about a woman
in a business suit that drives me wild.
167
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,986
It's as if they're all tied up
in this neat little package
168
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,904
just waiting for someone to come along
169
00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:34,407
and pull the cord
that sets everything free.
170
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,701
A woman in a business suit
is my idea of art.
171
00:09:37,536 --> 00:09:38,619
What about you, Bob?
172
00:09:38,704 --> 00:09:40,621
What kind of woman's attire
gets your motor running?
173
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,041
I'm sure I couldn't tell you.
174
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,126
No favorites, huh?
175
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,754
Uh, I try not to think about it.
176
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:51,799
[Larry] You try not?
177
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,260
[Bob] I'm married.
178
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,012
Of course you're married.
We're all married.
179
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,597
Even Phil was married at one time.
180
00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,724
I'm just asking you in which direction
your tastes run.
181
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,601
I- [chuckling] I don't know.
182
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:03,936
Oh.
183
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:07,899
Let me, uh, ask you
a question there, Bob, seriously.
184
00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:09,650
- What's that?
- Are you gay?
185
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,111
- Larry!
- What? I'm just asking.
186
00:10:12,196 --> 00:10:14,405
He seems to be missing one of the
fundamental characteristics
187
00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:15,448
of the American male,
188
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:18,159
which I could understand if he were,
you know, but you're not.
189
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:19,494
I mean, at least you think you...
190
00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:20,578
Aren't you married?
191
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,165
I just see no reason
to let my eyes go wandering
192
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:27,126
when God's given me
a wonderful woman to be my wife.
193
00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:30,171
Oh, I see.
You're a spiritual man, then.
194
00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:31,964
That's a part of it.
195
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,300
So do they blind you
when you get saved, do they?
196
00:10:35,344 --> 00:10:37,470
Jesus said if you look at
a woman with lust,
197
00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:38,679
it's the same as committing adultery.
198
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:40,598
He did?
199
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:43,684
He must have never seen a woman
in a business suit.
200
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:44,852
If he had, who knows?
201
00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,437
We might have
a different kind of religion,
202
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:48,189
one where lusting is a sacrament.
203
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:55,655
Hey! I thought you weren't interested
in my hors d'oeuvres.
204
00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,699
I'm just tasting, Phil.
I'm not actually partaking.
205
00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:00,785
I'm just gonna make sure
that nobody's gonna gag.
206
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,246
Well, don't eat the whole thing up.
207
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:06,082
You know why you're here,
don't you, Bob?
208
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,751
No. Not exactly.
209
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:12,296
Jesus Christ. No wonder this company
is spiraling into the shit can.
210
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:15,216
You're here for cosmetic purposes, Bob.
211
00:11:16,260 --> 00:11:17,260
What do you mean?
212
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,262
You're here to represent research.
213
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:23,182
Technical support.
The brains of the company.
214
00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,393
- Me?
- Absolutely.
215
00:11:25,936 --> 00:11:27,812
But I don't have that much experience.
216
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,314
That doesn't matter.
You, as a person, don't really matter.
217
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,566
It's what you represent.
218
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,318
Am I supposed to be doing anything?
219
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:37,697
Nope. Just stand there and look wise,
or sit. It's entirely up to you.
220
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:40,074
You'll do fine, Bob.
221
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,369
Jeez, I hope so.
222
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,581
You know, when you think about it,
to tell the truth,
223
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:48,833
Nobody's really here.
224
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,919
You think you see people walkin' around
those hallways? You don't.
225
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,046
What you see is functions.
226
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,257
That's the nature of a convention.
227
00:11:59,011 --> 00:12:00,386
What Larry means is,
228
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,599
if you look at it in the standpoint
of why we're here,
229
00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:07,518
what we are is more important
than who we are.
230
00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:10,938
Well, that seems kind of impersonal.
231
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:12,648
Of course it's impersonal, Bob.
232
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,151
Why do you think they hold conventions
in places like this?
233
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:18,821
Is there anything about this place
that smacks of personality to you?
234
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,366
Still, it seems a shame.
235
00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,285
It's not a shame, Bob.
236
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:32,126
[sighs]
237
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,927
- So who do they have you
working for these days?
238
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,219
Uh, Professor Young.
239
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:43,679
Jim Young?
240
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,222
Yeah. You know him?
241
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:46,933
We've met.
242
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,769
- Tremendous guy.
- Oh, really?
243
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,228
[Larry] How so?
244
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,441
He's got- What, 20, 30 patents?
245
00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:58,110
I think he's even
a deacon in his church.
246
00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,112
And all that makes him tremendous?
247
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,114
Well, the patents alone.
248
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:05,993
Listen, Bob, no offense. I can see
that you admire the man and all.
249
00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:09,038
But let me tell you a little something
about Jim Young.
250
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,206
[Bob] What's that?
251
00:13:10,749 --> 00:13:11,916
He's an idiot!
252
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,543
- What?
- He's a moron, Bob.
253
00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:16,337
I wouldn't trust the guy to wax my car.
254
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:17,880
How can you say that?
255
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:18,965
I've met him, remember?
256
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,342
I've gotten an earful of Jim Young
on more than one occasion.
257
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,178
I can tell you for a fact
the guy is full of shit.
258
00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:27,223
Well, I don't think so
and I work with him every day.
259
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,308
Well, maybe you just don't know
what to look for.
260
00:13:29,393 --> 00:13:31,352
Maybe I just have different standards.
261
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:42,571
Listen, Bob. You got a minute?
I wanna tell you something.
262
00:13:43,532 --> 00:13:44,532
[sighs] Sure.
263
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,368
There are people in this world, Bob,
264
00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:51,372
who look very official,
while they're doing, what they're doing.
265
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,540
And do you know why?
266
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:53,666
Why?
267
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,376
Because they don't know
what they're doing.
268
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,752
Because if you know what you're doing,
269
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,838
you don't have to look like
you know what you're doing.
270
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,798
- It comes naturally. You follow me?
- Sure.
271
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:05,428
Okay, so now, do you know
how you can tell the difference?
272
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:07,096
No.
273
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,848
All right, the way you tell is...
274
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:12,518
A little voice pops up
in the back of your mind
275
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:16,188
to say that this guy who's sitting before
me, or she,
276
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:19,817
is lying through his teeth
and telling me stories.
277
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:22,653
Now, once you get
that little piece of information,
278
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:24,655
What do you do?
279
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,991
Uh, I don't know.
280
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:28,534
Here's what I would do.
281
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:34,206
I would say, "Buddy, I've heard
a lot of horseshit in my time,
282
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,583
"'cause God knows I'm a salesman
283
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:39,045
"and we all have to wade through our share
of the snow to get to the cabin,
284
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:43,007
"but you... take the cake.
285
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:47,094
"I don't believe you have the first idea
what you're talking about.
286
00:14:47,179 --> 00:14:49,221
"Your children admire you, I'm sure,
287
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:51,098
"as we all hope they do.
288
00:14:51,183 --> 00:14:53,017
"And maybe your wife doesn't know,
289
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,560
"but I know.
290
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:58,105
"And my knowledge forces me
to call you on the fact
291
00:14:58,190 --> 00:15:02,318
"that you are a goddamn cocksucking liar
from the word go!"
292
00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,989
And then I would sit down
and finish my soup.
293
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,245
[scoffs]
294
00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,081
You would not.
295
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:17,458
Phil, have you
or have you not ever heard
296
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,710
or seen me doing
what we were just talking about?
297
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,378
Yes.
298
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:22,713
There, you see?
299
00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:26,425
That's why there's hope, Bob,
because there's people like me who listen.
300
00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:29,845
- When was this?
- [Larry] What do you mean, "when"?
301
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:33,182
Are you doubting a man that sits there
reading Penthouse to expand his mind?
302
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,642
Are you gonna question that?
303
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,647
It was a couple years ago. We were
having lunch with a purchasing agent.
304
00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:41,816
You see?
305
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,610
- And you actually said that?
- Word for word.
306
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,320
It was not word for word.
307
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:49,907
In principle, Phil.
308
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:52,660
I'm speaking to the boy in principle
because after all,
309
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,955
he's a bright young man and he understands
the meaning of a concept.
310
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:57,915
So what happened?
311
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:00,417
What do you think happened?
312
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:02,378
What would you expect to have happen?
313
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:07,299
- The guy got angry.
- The guy got furious.
314
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:11,512
He just sat there through the rest
of the meal fuming, not saying a word.
315
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,305
Did you lose the account?
316
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,810
Of course we lost the account.
317
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:21,355
Bob, you can't speak to a man like that
and expect to keep the account.
318
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,940
And if you do...
319
00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:27,319
If you say that to a man
and he puts down his fork
320
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:29,822
and he says, "Bob...
321
00:16:31,783 --> 00:16:33,284
"you are absolutely right.
322
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:38,706
"I have been faking like I know what I'm
talking about from the moment I sat down,
323
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:39,874
"and I'm sorry.
324
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,711
"Not to you, because I don't owe you
anything, but to myself.
325
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:47,506
"Because I want to be the best human being
I can possibly be,
326
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,218
"and I want to be honest above all else. "
327
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:55,014
Well, then you forget about the account,
you forget about everything.
328
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,057
You shave your head,
you put on a saffron robe,
329
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:59,351
you sell pictures of this guy
at the airport,
330
00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,855
because he has no fear
and he's just proved it.
331
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,357
He deserves to be worshipped.
332
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:13,949
Wow.
333
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:18,245
"Wow" is right, Bob.
"Wow" sums it up quite nicely.
334
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,624
I mean, I can't believe
you actually said that.
335
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,084
- Do yourself a favor, Bob.
- What's that?
336
00:17:24,169 --> 00:17:26,921
- Don't ever become one of those people.
- No, I wouldn't.
337
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:30,049
I don't want to have to confront you
at lunch one day like that other guy,
338
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,135
but I will, for your own good,
because I like you.
339
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:35,804
Sure.
340
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,312
- You all right, Bob?
- Yeah. I just need to use the restroom.
341
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,189
Want me to fix you something
while you're on the throne?
342
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,774
No, thanks. I just need to go.
343
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,206
- [Phil] Who wound you up?
- [Larry] Nobody wound me up.
344
00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,791
I'm just excited, that's all.
345
00:18:03,875 --> 00:18:06,252
We're gonna do some
business tonight, Phil.
346
00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:10,464
There's business in the air.
Do you smell it?
347
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,758
It's the kind of air that makes
account ledgers grow.
348
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:15,928
There's only one account ledger
that matters to us tonight.
349
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,305
We're gonna get that one too.
You watch.
350
00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:21,141
Fuller's gonna come walking
through that door.
351
00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:23,102
He's gonna take one look around.
352
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:25,938
He will be so overwhelmed
353
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:29,858
with the fact
that he's on the 16th floor overlooking
354
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:34,280
all of Wichita, like some ancient king
surveying his fiefdom.
355
00:18:34,406 --> 00:18:38,450
Larry predicts, that he will say,
"You talk to me about moxie?
356
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:42,037
"Anybody with the aesthetic wherewithal
357
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:44,748
"to pick this, of all places,
for a hospitality suite
358
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:47,584
"must certainly have
the right line of industrial lubricants
359
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,003
"for my plant in Gary.
360
00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:53,674
"What would it take to get you guys
to sell me everything you could make?
361
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:58,012
"How much can I pay you personally,
as a bribe?"
362
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:03,017
- He's gonna say all that, is he?
- Word for word.
363
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,895
You know what I'm gonna say to him?
"Mr. Fuller, you are absolutely right.
364
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:10,941
"We do have the right line of industrial
lubricants for your application,
365
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:14,320
"and I personally would be proud
to handle the account myself.
366
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:17,573
"But there is one thing I ask of you,
as a favor,
367
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:20,326
to help us get better acquainted. "
368
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,787
- What's that?
- That you take me as your concubine.
369
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,873
or Phil, if you think he's better looking.
370
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,667
You really think he's gonna go for us?
371
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:30,669
- He has to, Phil.
- What if he doesn't?
372
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:32,379
- If he doesn't go for us?
- Yeah.
373
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,590
Then I think what we do is;
we get up tomorrow morning,
374
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:37,092
we pack our bags,
we catch the breakfast flight home,
375
00:19:37,177 --> 00:19:39,887
we wander into the office
around half past 2,
376
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:42,931
and then we hang ourselves
in the bathroom by our tie.
377
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,060
Do you know what he looks like?
378
00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:48,145
- No. You?
- I haven't the foggiest.
379
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:49,855
What about Bob?
380
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,524
Bob. How's Bob gonna know
what he looks like?
381
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:53,901
Oh, yeah. Well, it doesn't matter.
382
00:19:53,985 --> 00:19:55,694
That's one of the great things
about conventions.
383
00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,655
All God's children wear name tags,
especially a guy like this.
384
00:19:58,740 --> 00:20:00,491
He probably had one
specially made in neon.
385
00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:03,035
"Dick Fuller". You know, "President. "
386
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,204
"Nickname: El Kahuna Grande. "
387
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:08,165
[Larry] I'm only hoping
he's wearing a ring I can kiss.
388
00:20:12,295 --> 00:20:16,090
- Phil, what is that?
- It's a coat rack.
389
00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:18,550
I know it's a coat rack.
What's it doing in here?
390
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:19,468
It's for coats.
391
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,679
Who the hell's gonna bring a coat?
We're all in the same damn hotel.
392
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:25,015
Get it out of here. There's little enough
room in here as it is.
393
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,392
I wanted to be prepared.
394
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:29,144
If I don't have a coat rack,
you're gonna say,
395
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:31,063
"Phil, where's the coat rack?"
396
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:34,191
Now we know where it is.
It's out in the hall.
397
00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,154
Is he all right in there?
398
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,949
- I don't think he's feeling very well.
- Really? How come?
399
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:45,077
Maybe it's nerves.
400
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,705
Or maybe he just couldn't
take the likes of you.
401
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:49,623
What?
402
00:20:49,707 --> 00:20:52,042
Especially when you come at him
with both barrels like that.
403
00:20:53,128 --> 00:20:55,838
What, me?
Nah, I was just talkin' to him.
404
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,006
- He's a good kid.
- 'Course he's a good kid.
405
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:00,008
I wouldn't waste my time
with him if he wasn't.
406
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:01,802
That's the last thing I need to do
407
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:04,388
is grease another asshole
for the lubricant industry.
408
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:12,604
Besides, he reminds me
of you in a lot of ways.
409
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,648
No, he doesn't.
He reminds you of yourself.
410
00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:17,025
Yeah, but I take after you,
so it all works out.
411
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:20,112
I don't want any of these bozos
making long-distance calls.
412
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:22,030
Well, take it off the bill.
413
00:21:27,245 --> 00:21:29,997
Or who knows?
Maybe he's just basking in the experience.
414
00:21:30,081 --> 00:21:33,083
- Going to the bathroom?
- Yeah. Have you been in there yet?
415
00:21:33,168 --> 00:21:35,127
- No. Why?
- It's terrific, man.
416
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,129
It's the only thing I like about this
place.
417
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:39,298
They got a spotlight over the john.
418
00:21:39,382 --> 00:21:41,925
That and there's mirrors on three sides,
419
00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:44,970
so you can actually watch yourself
wiping your own ass.
420
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:47,639
Is that a major goal of yours?
421
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:49,308
Well, I think it's something everybody
should experience
422
00:21:49,392 --> 00:21:50,684
at least once in their lifetime.
423
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:52,728
Do you realize what
the ancient kings of Egypt
424
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:55,355
would have given if they'd been able
to watch themselves
425
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,773
wiping their own asses?
426
00:21:56,858 --> 00:21:59,776
Plenty! But they couldn't
because the technology was unavailable.
427
00:22:00,278 --> 00:22:02,988
- They had mirrors.
- Oh, hand mirrors, Phil.
428
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:04,531
Little bitty jobs.
429
00:22:04,616 --> 00:22:07,951
You try watching yourself
wiping your own ass with a hand mirror.
430
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:09,870
You might-
You can't see anything.
431
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,872
You might as well
be watching somebody else.
432
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:16,543
No, no, no. To do it right you need
the full-fledged wall-to-wall mirrors.
433
00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:18,629
Then you get the total picture.
434
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,006
Reminds you you're not much different than
anybody else
435
00:22:21,090 --> 00:22:23,675
when it comes down to it.
Gives you a sense of humility.
436
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,219
Whatever you say.
437
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,932
Oh! The door is jammed.
438
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:33,519
- I put a call in.
- Oh, Christ.
439
00:22:35,647 --> 00:22:37,689
Hey, you feelin' any better, Bob?
440
00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:47,157
Yeah. Just, uh,
just a little queasy is all.
441
00:22:47,450 --> 00:22:49,785
What? Did Phil have you working
on the floor all day?
442
00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:51,119
Some of it. [kicks table]
443
00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:55,082
- Workin' the booth?
- Uh, yeah.
444
00:22:55,792 --> 00:22:57,918
No wonder. You should've told him
to go fuck himself.
445
00:22:58,002 --> 00:22:59,211
I hate workin' the booth.
446
00:23:00,171 --> 00:23:02,756
- I thought it was kind of interesting.
- There's no closet in here.
447
00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,426
That's why I got the coat rack.
448
00:23:06,511 --> 00:23:09,263
[Larry] Yeah, well, anything's interesting
for a while, Bob.
449
00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:12,474
Dental surgery is interesting
for a while,
450
00:23:12,559 --> 00:23:14,434
But some things get old in a hurry.
451
00:23:17,021 --> 00:23:19,648
- It's somethin' that has to be done.
- Ah! Well!
452
00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:25,153
There you are, Bob.
Words handed down from on high.
453
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,406
[deep voice] It's something
that has to be done.
454
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:30,909
Larry, let me bum a cigarette off you.
455
00:23:30,994 --> 00:23:33,245
Well, you could ordinarily, Phil,
but not anymore.
456
00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:36,081
- I gave it up.
- You did not.
457
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:37,833
- I swear to God.
- When?
458
00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:40,877
Couple of months ago. And you would too,
if you knew what was good for you.
459
00:23:40,962 --> 00:23:42,713
Fuck you, Larry. You're not my wife.
460
00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:46,258
You're right, Phil. I'm not your wife.
461
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:48,969
And it's good of you to point that out
462
00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:52,139
because, as close as we are,
I sometimes forget.
463
00:23:52,849 --> 00:23:55,267
You know, Bob's got more sense
than the two of us put together.
464
00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:57,603
You've never smoked a cigarette
in your life, have you, Bob?
465
00:23:57,687 --> 00:23:58,562
No, I haven't.
466
00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,731
I bet you don't drink much either, do ya?
467
00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:02,816
An occasional beer now and then.
468
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:04,860
- Yeah, but nothin' hard, right?
- No.
469
00:24:04,944 --> 00:24:06,320
And correct me if I'm wrong,
470
00:24:06,404 --> 00:24:08,655
But I'm willing to bet-
I'd even lay money...
471
00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:10,240
that never in your life
472
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:13,076
have you walked into a strip joint,
walked up on the stage,
473
00:24:13,161 --> 00:24:14,703
grabbed the dancer,
threw her down on the ground
474
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:16,705
and fucked her brains out,
in front of everybody.
475
00:24:17,832 --> 00:24:21,251
- I never what?
- Jesus Christ, Larry.
476
00:24:21,336 --> 00:24:23,086
Just answer the question, yes or no.
477
00:24:24,589 --> 00:24:27,799
No. I- I've never even been near
a place like that.
478
00:24:27,884 --> 00:24:30,385
See, that's what I was saying.
you oughta apply for sainthood, Bob
479
00:24:30,470 --> 00:24:33,555
Competition's not as stiff as it used to
be. You got a good chance of gettin' in.
480
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:34,931
- You Catholic?
- No.
481
00:24:35,016 --> 00:24:36,767
- Episcopalian?
- No.
482
00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:38,226
- What then?
- Uh, Baptist.
483
00:24:40,063 --> 00:24:41,563
Oh, well, that is a problem.
484
00:24:41,648 --> 00:24:43,690
But they must have something like that,
shouldn't they?
485
00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:45,901
For people who go through their
whole lives without doing anything.
486
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:47,527
Not as far as I know.
487
00:24:47,612 --> 00:24:49,946
Well, damn it.
Then it's time to change religions, Bob.
488
00:24:50,031 --> 00:24:52,366
Go someplace you're appreciated,
where there's a chance to move up.
489
00:24:52,450 --> 00:24:53,825
You let me know if it happens.
490
00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:55,202
[Bob] You'll be the first.
491
00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:56,370
Remember it was my idea.
492
00:24:56,454 --> 00:24:59,498
I get dibs on the concessions:
little plastic statues, things like that.
493
00:24:59,582 --> 00:25:00,499
Where are you going?
494
00:25:00,583 --> 00:25:03,210
I'm gonna run down to the bar.
I'll be right back.
495
00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:05,837
I'll go with you.
496
00:25:06,714 --> 00:25:08,965
Uh, no, no. You better stay here.
497
00:25:09,384 --> 00:25:11,343
Have to have somebody
keep their eye on Larry,
498
00:25:11,427 --> 00:25:13,136
make sure he doesn't
sublet the joint.
499
00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:15,555
When you're there,
why don't you stop on 15?
500
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,100
And see what it's like with people
who know what they're doing.
501
00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:20,102
That is, if you can live with the shame.
502
00:25:21,521 --> 00:25:23,230
And bring me back some shrimp!
503
00:25:26,526 --> 00:25:27,526
What a nut.
504
00:25:28,903 --> 00:25:30,821
- Him or you?
- Him.
505
00:25:31,322 --> 00:25:32,572
The guy cracks me up.
506
00:25:32,657 --> 00:25:35,492
He's not the one I would exactly
call a nut around here.
507
00:25:35,576 --> 00:25:37,160
That's just because you don't know him.
508
00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:38,578
You want a carrot stick, Bob?
509
00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,580
How long have you
and he worked together?
510
00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,374
That depends on what you mean.
511
00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:44,376
- Do you want a carrot stick, Bob?
- No, thanks.
512
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:48,046
Well, in geologic time, we just met.
513
00:25:48,131 --> 00:25:50,173
However, in dog years, we go way back.
514
00:25:51,259 --> 00:25:52,426
How 'bout human years?
515
00:25:56,681 --> 00:25:58,014
- Human years?
- Yeah.
516
00:25:59,934 --> 00:26:02,060
We've known each other a while.
Why do you ask?
517
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:06,022
- He strikes me as an interesting guy.
- Oh, that's one hell of a guy.
518
00:26:06,899 --> 00:26:09,234
Bob, if you're looking
for somebody to admire, pick Phil.
519
00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:11,319
Not that asshole Jim Young.
520
00:26:12,113 --> 00:26:13,613
How long has he been divorced?
521
00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:18,827
I don't think he is officially,
I think it's still pending.
522
00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:20,829
but don't quote me
'cause I don't really know.
523
00:26:21,205 --> 00:26:23,457
I think it's a shame
he has to get divorced.
524
00:26:24,917 --> 00:26:26,585
Well, he doesn't have to, Bob.
525
00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:29,379
I mean, he's making a choice
to gain something.
526
00:26:29,797 --> 00:26:32,632
- Like what?
- His freedom, I guess.
527
00:26:33,384 --> 00:26:35,927
Still, it seems like an awful lot
to give up.
528
00:26:36,012 --> 00:26:38,263
Well, sometimes, Bob,
you gotta chew your leg off
529
00:26:38,347 --> 00:26:39,890
to get out of life's traps.
530
00:26:41,142 --> 00:26:42,142
I guess.
531
00:26:51,903 --> 00:26:54,654
Phil's gone through a lot of changes
in the last couple of years,
532
00:26:54,739 --> 00:26:56,156
And I don't just mean the divorce.
533
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,283
Really? How so?
534
00:26:58,868 --> 00:27:00,452
Well, he used to be a-
535
00:27:02,163 --> 00:27:03,163
I don't know.
536
00:27:04,415 --> 00:27:07,292
One day he'd be ridin' the clouds,
the world was a beautiful place,
537
00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:09,503
And he was just happy to be in it, and...
538
00:27:10,087 --> 00:27:11,087
the next day,
539
00:27:11,172 --> 00:27:13,965
you wouldn't even know
you were talkin' to the same person.
540
00:27:14,050 --> 00:27:15,926
It was like somebody
let the air out of him.
541
00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:20,889
You got the impression that at any moment
he could pull out a gun and shoot himself.
542
00:27:21,432 --> 00:27:23,308
[Larry] And even then,
he was real personable.
543
00:27:23,768 --> 00:27:24,768
He just...
544
00:27:25,603 --> 00:27:28,146
I don't know. I got the feeling that
something inside of him
545
00:27:28,231 --> 00:27:29,648
had kind of... collapsed.
546
00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:33,026
- [bartender] What can I get you?
- Change for the cigarette machine.
547
00:27:38,241 --> 00:27:41,076
Crown Royal on the house.
Poured one too many.
548
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,329
- No, thanks.
- It's all right, really.
549
00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:47,499
No, no, thank you.
Just the change. Thanks.
550
00:27:58,010 --> 00:27:59,928
[Bob] Things you don't know
about a person.
551
00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:02,639
[Larry] That's why God gave us
eyes and ears, to find out,
552
00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:05,642
except for some things
that are none of our goddamn business.
553
00:28:08,396 --> 00:28:09,396
Sure.
554
00:28:09,897 --> 00:28:11,565
Ask me whatever you want about Phil.
555
00:28:11,649 --> 00:28:14,484
I'll be glad to tell you,
if I think you're being sincere.
556
00:28:15,069 --> 00:28:17,070
But... don't ask him.
557
00:28:17,154 --> 00:28:19,781
He's been through a lot.
He doesn't need to be pressed.
558
00:28:32,128 --> 00:28:35,213
- How long have you been married, Bob?
- Six months.
559
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:39,217
- You love your wife?
- Do I love my wife?
560
00:28:40,344 --> 00:28:41,344
Why wouldn't I?
561
00:28:41,804 --> 00:28:45,473
Well, people get married
for a lot of different reasons, Bob.
562
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:48,143
You seem like
a real principled guy to me.
563
00:28:48,227 --> 00:28:49,227
So?
564
00:28:50,563 --> 00:28:53,940
Well, I've known people.
I'm not saying you're one of them.
565
00:28:54,025 --> 00:28:56,860
It's just I've known them
who were real principled,
566
00:28:56,944 --> 00:29:00,780
and then they met somebody else
who was real principled,
567
00:29:00,865 --> 00:29:02,574
and then the two of them got married,
568
00:29:03,993 --> 00:29:07,037
only to find out one day
it was their principles that got married.
569
00:29:07,538 --> 00:29:09,998
Two of them
just kind of came along for the ride.
570
00:29:11,792 --> 00:29:12,792
Oh.
571
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,838
Love has a lot of counterfeits,
Bob, not to get too deep.
572
00:29:17,924 --> 00:29:18,924
Sure.
573
00:29:24,388 --> 00:29:26,806
Hey, speak of the devil,
where's my shrimp?
574
00:29:27,266 --> 00:29:28,266
[chuckles]
575
00:29:29,477 --> 00:29:31,478
[Phil] Eat a carrot
if you're so goddamned hungry.
576
00:29:32,188 --> 00:29:33,355
Have a cheese ball.
577
00:29:34,523 --> 00:29:37,025
I don't want any cheese ball, alright.
I want some shrimp.
578
00:29:37,109 --> 00:29:39,402
Then call room service and get some.
579
00:29:39,946 --> 00:29:41,571
I would, but I don't want
to embarrass you
580
00:29:41,656 --> 00:29:42,822
[whispers] in front of the boy.
581
00:29:42,907 --> 00:29:45,158
Believe me, Larry,
as long as I've known you,
582
00:29:45,242 --> 00:29:49,329
nothing you could possibly say or do,
could ever embarrass me in the least.
583
00:29:49,413 --> 00:29:51,623
You see what I have to put up with?
Twelve years now.
584
00:29:51,749 --> 00:29:54,167
But one day, no more.
I'm comin' to work with an Uzi!
585
00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:56,586
You're gonna read about us
in the newspapers the next day.
586
00:29:56,671 --> 00:30:00,674
- You sure I can't fix you something, Bob?
- Yeah, maybe just a cola.
587
00:30:02,927 --> 00:30:04,594
- Give me an ashtray.
- All righty.
588
00:30:04,679 --> 00:30:07,847
How 'bout you, Phil? What'll you have,
a Black Russian? Martini with a twist?
589
00:30:09,934 --> 00:30:12,602
- I'll have a 7Up.
- A 7Up?
590
00:30:13,688 --> 00:30:15,313
7Up with a twist of lime.
591
00:30:15,940 --> 00:30:17,440
You feelin' all right there, Phil?
592
00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,860
- I quit drinking.
- You did? When?
593
00:30:21,445 --> 00:30:22,445
Recently.
594
00:30:23,572 --> 00:30:25,615
Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.
595
00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:27,575
I don't smoke, you don't drink,
596
00:30:27,660 --> 00:30:29,953
and Bob here, wouldn't think about
lusting after a woman.
597
00:30:30,037 --> 00:30:33,206
Between the three of us,
we're practically Jesus.
598
00:30:35,209 --> 00:30:37,210
Which reminds me,
who's gonna bar tend tonight?
599
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,838
- I figured Bob would.
- Me?
600
00:30:39,922 --> 00:30:40,922
Yeah. You mind?
601
00:30:41,007 --> 00:30:44,009
- Like I said, I'm not accustomed
to drinking hard liquor.
602
00:30:44,969 --> 00:30:46,678
Nobody's asking you to drink it, Bob.
603
00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:49,556
- We're asking you to serve it.
- I won't know what I'm doing.
604
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,683
It doesn't matter, Bob.
All you do is pour stuff in a glass.
605
00:30:51,767 --> 00:30:53,268
See? Now you know bartending.
606
00:30:53,894 --> 00:30:55,979
What about the formulas?
607
00:30:57,523 --> 00:31:00,233
Formulas. They're called recipes.
608
00:31:00,317 --> 00:31:02,527
We'll send out for a book. That's all.
609
00:31:02,987 --> 00:31:05,071
What if somebody wants something exotic?
610
00:31:05,156 --> 00:31:08,033
Oh, that's perfect.
The only reason people order exotic drinks
611
00:31:08,117 --> 00:31:09,659
is to show how sophisticated they are.
612
00:31:09,744 --> 00:31:11,911
If they have to tell you how to mix it,
it's all the better.
613
00:31:11,996 --> 00:31:12,996
It makes them feel like experts.
614
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,165
Plus Larry and I are gonna
have our hands full.
615
00:31:16,500 --> 00:31:18,209
Well, the brains of the company will try.
616
00:31:18,294 --> 00:31:20,712
That's all we ask for, Bob,
is that you try.
617
00:31:21,589 --> 00:31:24,674
Gentlemen, here's to the profound,
religious experience
618
00:31:24,759 --> 00:31:26,426
that comes from doing a job well
619
00:31:26,510 --> 00:31:29,846
- and being grossly underpaid.
- Happy days.
620
00:31:30,473 --> 00:31:32,098
- Happy Jesus.
- Happy-
621
00:31:32,433 --> 00:31:33,433
Amen.
622
00:31:37,730 --> 00:31:39,397
What time is this thing
supposed to start tonight?
623
00:31:39,482 --> 00:31:40,398
Seven.
624
00:31:40,691 --> 00:31:41,691
You hungry?
625
00:31:43,027 --> 00:31:45,361
- I could probably eat, I guess.
- What do you feel like?
626
00:31:46,197 --> 00:31:47,822
Maybe we oughta go on downstairs.
627
00:31:48,407 --> 00:31:50,325
Yeah, that's what we'll do
That's exactly what we'll do.
628
00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:52,994
We'll go downstairs,
we'll fill our bellies full of hotel food.
629
00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:55,288
We'll oogle the waitresses
a little... or not.
630
00:31:56,207 --> 00:31:59,459
And then we'll come back up here
and we'll show Bob the ropes.
631
00:31:59,543 --> 00:32:03,171
We'll teach him what it's like
to do business.
632
00:32:04,673 --> 00:32:05,757
I'm looking forward to it.
633
00:32:05,841 --> 00:32:07,801
You think you're ready
for the big time, Bob?
634
00:32:07,885 --> 00:32:10,011
Well, I guess
there's only one way to find out,
635
00:32:10,387 --> 00:32:12,931
that's to throw me in the water,
see if I can swim.
636
00:32:13,015 --> 00:32:14,682
Oh, I think you're missing
the point here, Bob.
637
00:32:14,767 --> 00:32:17,727
We're about to throw you off a cliff
and see if you can fly.
638
00:32:18,771 --> 00:32:21,564
- [Phil] You got a tag on your pants.
- [Larry] I just bought it.
639
00:32:21,649 --> 00:32:22,941
[Phil] Take the little strings off.
640
00:32:23,025 --> 00:32:24,943
[Larry] Jesus Christ.
You got any scissors?
641
00:32:46,799 --> 00:32:48,675
[Bob] The brains
of the company will try.
642
00:32:48,759 --> 00:32:52,095
You are saved!
You are saved!
643
00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:53,179
[sounds of a party]
644
00:32:53,264 --> 00:32:54,722
Drinks on the house!
645
00:32:54,807 --> 00:32:57,809
[jazz music]
646
00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:04,607
There you go!
647
00:33:04,692 --> 00:33:08,153
We save with Jesus!
Drinks for everyone on the house.
648
00:33:08,237 --> 00:33:10,572
Line 'em up.
Line 'em up, boys and girls.
649
00:33:10,656 --> 00:33:11,656
You need a light?
650
00:33:19,290 --> 00:33:22,417
- [lady] So- [laughs]
- Yeah, you want a Gin Fixer.
651
00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:24,961
Did you say Gin Buck or Gin Fix?
652
00:33:28,340 --> 00:33:30,091
It's... [murmuring]
653
00:33:31,844 --> 00:33:33,136
What did you want?
654
00:33:33,596 --> 00:33:36,764
Uh... I'll give you this, some of this.
655
00:33:49,987 --> 00:33:50,987
[sighs]
656
00:34:04,585 --> 00:34:05,585
Phil?
657
00:34:06,754 --> 00:34:09,047
Phil, Phil, Phil!
Do you know what time it is?
658
00:34:09,673 --> 00:34:12,008
- I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
- It's 9:30!
659
00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:12,926
So what?
660
00:34:13,010 --> 00:34:15,178
What do you mean, "So what?"
We started at 7. He's not coming!
661
00:34:15,262 --> 00:34:16,262
He said he'd be here.
662
00:34:16,347 --> 00:34:18,556
Well, he's kidding, because he's not here.
He's not here.
663
00:34:18,641 --> 00:34:21,643
- Well, what do you want me to do?
- Act a little concerned.
664
00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:23,519
I'm concerned.
665
00:34:23,604 --> 00:34:25,813
Oh, really?
'Cause you hide it really, really well.
666
00:34:27,399 --> 00:34:30,652
Well... just... have faith,
667
00:34:31,237 --> 00:34:32,237
Would ya?
668
00:34:32,905 --> 00:34:33,905
Just once.
669
00:34:35,866 --> 00:34:37,742
Have fa- Ha-
670
00:34:40,454 --> 00:34:42,580
Have faith.
671
00:34:42,665 --> 00:34:46,125
[loud talking]
672
00:34:46,210 --> 00:34:49,170
[cheering]
673
00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:15,405
[man] Hey, thanks a lot, buddy.
674
00:35:22,288 --> 00:35:24,289
[background chatter]
675
00:35:24,373 --> 00:35:26,791
[man] This is the finest champagne...
676
00:35:32,506 --> 00:35:36,509
[jazz music]
677
00:35:54,028 --> 00:35:55,528
[Phil] That son of a bitch...
678
00:35:56,572 --> 00:36:00,408
talked to me about basketball
for nearly two hours.
679
00:36:01,243 --> 00:36:02,785
And all he did was exhibit
680
00:36:02,870 --> 00:36:05,121
that he doesn't know
the first thing about the game.
681
00:36:06,623 --> 00:36:09,250
What? You think you can get me
a smaller glass?
682
00:36:09,335 --> 00:36:12,837
- How 'bout a little thimble or somethin'?
- They're all dirty.
683
00:36:14,631 --> 00:36:15,631
Give me that bottle.
684
00:36:17,551 --> 00:36:19,385
That's what I love about these things.
685
00:36:19,470 --> 00:36:21,012
It kills me about these things-
686
00:36:21,096 --> 00:36:25,350
Is that you get a guy
away from his wife for a couple days.
687
00:36:25,768 --> 00:36:27,769
You pour a couple of drinks into him,
688
00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:33,149
He, all of a sudden, becomes
the world's foremost expert on sports.
689
00:36:33,233 --> 00:36:36,402
That's why God created wives, Bob.
690
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:41,657
So that they could show men
when they're bein' assholes.
691
00:36:41,742 --> 00:36:44,160
I mean, you get a guy away
from his wife,
692
00:36:44,745 --> 00:36:46,120
for any length of time,
693
00:36:47,790 --> 00:36:50,083
and he hasn't the first idea
how to behave.
694
00:36:51,627 --> 00:36:52,627
Take it from me.
695
00:36:52,711 --> 00:36:56,714
The Bible said God created Eve
as a help mate.
696
00:36:58,467 --> 00:37:01,761
- As a what?
- A helper.
697
00:37:02,262 --> 00:37:03,721
Suitable to meet his needs.
698
00:37:04,515 --> 00:37:08,476
I don't know anything about that, Bob,
but what I do know is this:
699
00:37:09,228 --> 00:37:12,230
God created women to be mirrors,
700
00:37:12,314 --> 00:37:15,191
so a man could see what an ass he is.
701
00:37:17,027 --> 00:37:18,903
I mean, you talk to me about souls?
702
00:37:21,198 --> 00:37:25,118
A man does not know
what his soul looks like.
703
00:37:25,786 --> 00:37:28,996
Hasn't any idea what his soul looks like
704
00:37:29,081 --> 00:37:33,751
until he gazes into the eyes of the woman
that he's married to.
705
00:37:33,836 --> 00:37:37,004
And then, if he's any kind
of decent human being,
706
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:39,966
he spends the next
couple days throwin' up.
707
00:37:41,885 --> 00:37:45,096
Because no man, no honest man,
708
00:37:45,180 --> 00:37:46,305
can stand that image.
709
00:37:47,057 --> 00:37:49,767
Go ahead, take your shoes off
and be comfortable. Everybody's gone.
710
00:37:52,688 --> 00:37:54,647
I thought you said
you didn't like being married.
711
00:37:56,066 --> 00:37:57,400
Well, I didn't,
712
00:37:58,819 --> 00:38:00,903
But that doesn't mean
I don't recommend it.
713
00:38:01,572 --> 00:38:03,739
[sighs]
714
00:38:03,824 --> 00:38:07,660
There's a lot of things in this life, Bob,
that are good for you...
715
00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:09,412
that are not necessarily pleasant.
716
00:38:09,997 --> 00:38:11,372
Like circumcision.
717
00:38:17,296 --> 00:38:20,798
Well, it's about time.
Where the hell have you been?
718
00:38:20,883 --> 00:38:22,967
What do you mean,
where the hell have I been?
719
00:38:23,051 --> 00:38:25,595
While you've been sittin' here,
strokin' every swingin' dick
720
00:38:25,679 --> 00:38:27,180
that walked through that door,
721
00:38:27,264 --> 00:38:29,682
I've been in search
of the Grand Kahuna!
722
00:38:29,766 --> 00:38:31,058
[clattering]
723
00:38:31,643 --> 00:38:34,228
- The what?
- The savior, Bob.
724
00:38:34,313 --> 00:38:36,063
El Presidente.
725
00:38:36,148 --> 00:38:40,109
The man who, with one small utterance,
one tiny ejaculation of sound,
726
00:38:40,194 --> 00:38:42,236
could make this company big with child.
727
00:38:42,321 --> 00:38:43,571
Did you find him?
728
00:38:46,074 --> 00:38:48,534
Phil, use your intuition here
for a second.
729
00:38:48,619 --> 00:38:52,747
Use that God-given gift you have
for smelling out the truth of a situation.
730
00:38:52,831 --> 00:38:54,832
Do I look as though I found him?
731
00:38:54,917 --> 00:38:57,168
- No.
- Good. You still have it.
732
00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:59,003
[Bob] Who are you guys talking about?
733
00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:03,758
We're talking about the Grand Kahuna, Bob.
734
00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,511
The great white wha- Did you ever read
The Old Man and the Sea?
735
00:39:06,595 --> 00:39:08,721
- No.
- Oh well then forget about it.
736
00:39:08,805 --> 00:39:11,599
We're talking about a man
who represents, as an entity...
737
00:39:12,226 --> 00:39:14,644
the largest single account
this company has
738
00:39:14,728 --> 00:39:16,437
or probably ever would have seen.
739
00:39:16,522 --> 00:39:18,606
- Potential account.
- Oh, potential yeah.
740
00:39:18,690 --> 00:39:20,858
It's good of you to point that out, Phil.
Potential!
741
00:39:21,818 --> 00:39:22,860
What could have been.
742
00:39:22,945 --> 00:39:24,820
Because it was our job, compadres,
743
00:39:24,905 --> 00:39:28,783
to turn that potentiality into reality,
to have it show up in the coffers,
744
00:39:28,867 --> 00:39:30,451
to court this gentleman,
745
00:39:30,536 --> 00:39:33,746
to promise him favors, if necessary,
to get him on our side.
746
00:39:33,830 --> 00:39:36,165
But did we succeed in this regard
or did we fail?
747
00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:37,375
Let's see a show of hands.
748
00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:40,545
We'll be all right.
749
00:39:40,629 --> 00:39:42,296
Yeah, of course we'll be all right.
750
00:39:43,090 --> 00:39:46,717
Once they drag our bodies from the river
and send our spirits to the moon.
751
00:39:46,802 --> 00:39:48,761
Then, sure.
It's the intermediate stuff, Phil.
752
00:39:48,845 --> 00:39:51,389
It's the actual process
of being skinned alive and set fire to.
753
00:39:51,473 --> 00:39:53,641
That's the difficult part.
The rest is duck soup.
754
00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:57,186
You had to go searching for this guy?
755
00:39:59,565 --> 00:40:01,232
We had to, Bob.
756
00:40:01,316 --> 00:40:04,360
We weren't supposed to,
but yes, we had to.
757
00:40:04,444 --> 00:40:07,071
He was supposed to
have shown up here tonight.
758
00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:10,199
Someone was supposed to
have lured him up here for a drink.
759
00:40:10,284 --> 00:40:11,993
What are you lookin' at me for?
760
00:40:13,745 --> 00:40:15,371
I done my job.
761
00:40:17,874 --> 00:40:21,085
- You phoned him?
- You're goddamned right I phoned him.
762
00:40:21,169 --> 00:40:23,004
And you spoke to him direct?
763
00:40:26,675 --> 00:40:29,093
- I talked to his secretary.
- [stifled grunting]
764
00:40:29,177 --> 00:40:31,304
He was on a long-distance call.
765
00:40:36,184 --> 00:40:38,477
She assured me that he'd be here.
766
00:40:38,562 --> 00:40:41,314
Oh, she assured you?
Guess what? She was joking!
767
00:40:41,398 --> 00:40:44,567
She probably had her secretary friends
gathered around the speaker phone saying,
768
00:40:44,651 --> 00:40:45,651
[whispers] "Watch this. "
769
00:40:45,736 --> 00:40:47,612
I bet she does stand-up on the side.
770
00:40:48,113 --> 00:40:49,739
Something probably just happened.
771
00:40:51,783 --> 00:40:54,452
I think it's rather obvious
that something "happened. "
772
00:40:54,995 --> 00:40:57,163
Maybe he just pulled up sick
at the last minute.
773
00:40:57,748 --> 00:40:59,749
Oh, no, no, he's here. He's here, alright.
774
00:40:59,833 --> 00:41:02,460
No, I've heard his name bandied about
all night long in the present tense.
775
00:41:02,544 --> 00:41:05,755
He's here, my friends.
He just isn't here!
776
00:41:06,173 --> 00:41:07,673
If you get my subtle nuance.
777
00:41:08,175 --> 00:41:09,175
Well...
778
00:41:10,260 --> 00:41:11,218
we just have to...
779
00:41:11,887 --> 00:41:13,638
figure out some other way, is all.
780
00:41:15,724 --> 00:41:17,016
Phil, are you deaf?
781
00:41:17,643 --> 00:41:18,809
We lost the man.
782
00:41:18,894 --> 00:41:21,479
He was invited, but he did not come.
783
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,898
We're like the dinosaurs
when the climate changed.
784
00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:26,567
There is no longer any reason
for us to roam the earth.
785
00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:31,155
Why can't you just
schedule an appointment...
786
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:32,948
and go and see him?
787
00:41:34,618 --> 00:41:36,535
You don't schedule
an appointment with this guy, Bob.
788
00:41:36,620 --> 00:41:39,330
He's the president.
He refers you to his people.
789
00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:40,915
So why not go see his people?
790
00:41:40,999 --> 00:41:43,292
Because they're all dildos,
every single one of 'em.
791
00:41:43,794 --> 00:41:46,837
Sometimes you have to
go past the smaller minds.
792
00:41:46,922 --> 00:41:49,757
You have to cozy up to someone
a little higher on the ladder who can say,
793
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:51,967
"I would really like to try
some of this new product.
794
00:41:52,052 --> 00:41:55,096
either buy some and try it
or get the fuck out because you're fired!"
795
00:41:55,764 --> 00:41:58,391
Gonna put another call into his secretary
in the morning.
796
00:42:00,519 --> 00:42:02,812
Phil, are you not hearing
a word I'm saying?
797
00:42:03,563 --> 00:42:06,565
I realize it's human nature to think
we stand another chance with this guy,
798
00:42:06,650 --> 00:42:07,775
but it's fantasy, man.
799
00:42:07,859 --> 00:42:10,736
We're gonna go back to Chicago tomorrow,
and Evans is gonna say,
800
00:42:10,821 --> 00:42:13,280
"Hey, Phil, Larry, Bob,
801
00:42:14,157 --> 00:42:15,449
"come into my office.
802
00:42:16,076 --> 00:42:17,326
"I have something for ya.
803
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,120
Bend over. " [groans]
804
00:42:22,541 --> 00:42:25,584
So what do you think, Bob?
Do you wanna do this for a living?
805
00:42:26,128 --> 00:42:28,254
I don't know,
I thought it was kind of interesting.
806
00:42:28,338 --> 00:42:29,380
Oh, yeah? How so?
807
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:33,008
You get to hear
a lot of interesting stories.
808
00:42:33,427 --> 00:42:35,344
That you do. They're far outweighed
809
00:42:35,429 --> 00:42:37,847
by the horse shit that flies
across the room all night long,
810
00:42:37,931 --> 00:42:39,890
but they're there
to listen for if you want.
811
00:42:39,975 --> 00:42:41,434
Are there always this many people?
812
00:42:41,518 --> 00:42:44,437
It just looked like a lot of people, Bob,
'cause the room's so damn small.
813
00:42:44,521 --> 00:42:45,438
Larry.
814
00:42:45,522 --> 00:42:47,440
Sorry, the carrot stick's
gone to my head.
815
00:42:50,026 --> 00:42:52,403
I met a guy who started
talking to me about dogs.
816
00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:54,947
What about dogs?
817
00:42:55,574 --> 00:42:57,283
[Bob] Just that he's always owned one.
818
00:42:57,701 --> 00:43:01,454
He told me that one way or the other,
he's owned a dog his entire life,
819
00:43:02,247 --> 00:43:03,539
Most of them German Shepherds.
820
00:43:05,292 --> 00:43:07,668
That's not that unusual, Bob.
A lot of people have dogs.
821
00:43:08,420 --> 00:43:11,756
Oh, I know, but that got us started
on all sorts of things.
822
00:43:12,883 --> 00:43:16,135
Turns out he had to have his last one
put to sleep 'cause it bit someone.
823
00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:19,388
So then he started telling me about
the one before that...
824
00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:21,390
and the one before that. [chuckles]
825
00:43:21,808 --> 00:43:24,268
and before we knew it,
we traced his entire life...
826
00:43:24,686 --> 00:43:26,395
through this series of dogs.
827
00:43:27,898 --> 00:43:29,482
Mostly German Shepherds.
828
00:43:31,651 --> 00:43:33,486
I wish to hell Murdoch was here.
829
00:43:34,446 --> 00:43:35,446
[Bob] Who's Murdoch?
830
00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:38,908
Dale Murdoch.
831
00:43:39,868 --> 00:43:43,788
The best damn marketing rep
this company has ever seen.
832
00:43:43,872 --> 00:43:44,872
[scoffs]
833
00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:46,415
God, Jesus, what a talent.
834
00:43:46,500 --> 00:43:49,251
- [Bob] Successful?
- No, more than just successful, man.
835
00:43:49,336 --> 00:43:52,838
This guy... he had the gift.
836
00:43:52,923 --> 00:43:56,550
You know how, like, when you're watching
athletes do what they're doing.
837
00:43:56,635 --> 00:43:59,136
It's like they're remembering
something they've always known,
838
00:43:59,221 --> 00:44:00,679
instead of something they had to learn.
839
00:44:00,764 --> 00:44:02,890
That's what it was like with Murdoch,
except only with people.
840
00:44:03,809 --> 00:44:05,559
- Where is he now?
- Who, Murdoch?
841
00:44:05,644 --> 00:44:08,103
- Yeah.
- Oh, he's gone on to his great reward.
842
00:44:08,188 --> 00:44:09,021
Oh.
843
00:44:09,105 --> 00:44:11,398
Yeah, I heard he's down
in Florida somewhere.
844
00:44:11,483 --> 00:44:16,237
Last I heard, somebody said
that he had a whole chain of Burger Kings.
845
00:44:16,321 --> 00:44:19,573
I wouldn't doubt it if it was the biggest
goddamn chain in the state.
846
00:44:20,325 --> 00:44:22,785
But the days of Murdoch are behind us.
847
00:44:22,869 --> 00:44:25,037
Now it's the days of Larry and Phil.
848
00:44:25,121 --> 00:44:26,914
Phil and Larry and Bob,
849
00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:30,292
Three guys who are about
to be royally fucked up the ass.
850
00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:32,169
We'll be all right.
851
00:44:34,756 --> 00:44:36,215
You think so, huh?
852
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:37,883
Sure.
853
00:44:37,968 --> 00:44:39,385
Well, I hope you're right, for our sake,
854
00:44:39,469 --> 00:44:41,804
because letting Mr. Fuller slip through
our fingers like this
855
00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:44,014
could be construed
as an act of incompetence.
856
00:44:44,099 --> 00:44:45,850
It makes us look pretty damn bad.
857
00:44:47,936 --> 00:44:50,604
- Did you say Fuller?
- Yeah.
858
00:44:51,523 --> 00:44:54,316
- Dick Fuller?
- Yeah. Dick, Richard.
859
00:44:54,734 --> 00:44:55,776
Why, you know him?
860
00:44:55,861 --> 00:44:58,153
That was the guy I was talking to.
861
00:44:59,573 --> 00:45:00,573
What are you- What?
862
00:45:00,657 --> 00:45:02,658
The guy with the dogs!
That was Dick Fuller.
863
00:45:03,201 --> 00:45:04,577
Oh, get out of here.
864
00:45:04,661 --> 00:45:07,121
No, I'm serious.
Look, he even gave me his card.
865
00:45:07,789 --> 00:45:10,666
- Oh, son of a bitch!
- Let me see it!
866
00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:13,168
I thought you checked
everybody's name tag.
867
00:45:13,253 --> 00:45:15,880
I did check everybody's name tag,
anybody that wasn't wearing a name tag,
868
00:45:15,964 --> 00:45:17,798
I came right out and said,
"What's your name?"
869
00:45:17,883 --> 00:45:20,175
- He wasn't wearing his name tag.
- What?
870
00:45:20,260 --> 00:45:22,803
No, he wasn't wearing his own.
I think it was someone else's.
871
00:45:23,763 --> 00:45:26,348
Why on earth would he be wearing
somebody else's name tag, Bob?
872
00:45:26,433 --> 00:45:29,518
Beats me. Looks like he had
a couple of drinks before he got here.
873
00:45:29,603 --> 00:45:30,895
Maybe he swapped it someone.
874
00:45:30,979 --> 00:45:32,605
I got the impression
he wanted to be left alone.
875
00:45:32,689 --> 00:45:34,189
He was awful broken up about the dog.
876
00:45:34,274 --> 00:45:37,526
I do not fuckin' believe this. We had
Dick Fuller right here within our grasp,
877
00:45:37,611 --> 00:45:39,486
but we let him
slip through our fingers!
878
00:45:39,905 --> 00:45:41,864
- Sorry.
- It's not your fault, Bob.
879
00:45:41,948 --> 00:45:43,866
We had him, we had him. He was ours.
880
00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:47,870
Next time, you ask people's names,
whether they're wearing badges or not.
881
00:45:47,954 --> 00:45:49,663
I'll give you
a little piece of information.
882
00:45:49,748 --> 00:45:51,582
There will be no next time for us,
my friend.
883
00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:54,835
We had Dick Fuller
within our sphere of influence,
884
00:45:54,920 --> 00:45:57,630
and we let him... walk out of here
without hearing from us
885
00:45:57,714 --> 00:45:59,423
a word of what we had to say.
886
00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:01,967
We'll be all right.
887
00:46:02,052 --> 00:46:04,219
What did you guys talk about, Bob?
888
00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,056
Just- I don't know, stuff.
889
00:46:07,641 --> 00:46:10,809
Could you be a little more specific?
Did you talk sports, weather, what?
890
00:46:11,811 --> 00:46:13,145
Dogs mostly.
891
00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:14,730
That's it? Nothing else?
892
00:46:16,691 --> 00:46:20,277
That and stuff about our families.
He asked about my wife.
893
00:46:20,362 --> 00:46:21,820
- Your wife?
- Yeah.
894
00:46:21,905 --> 00:46:23,405
What did he want to know about your wife?
895
00:46:24,199 --> 00:46:25,908
Nothing, he just asked.
896
00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:28,369
Did you tell him he could have her
if he wanted,
897
00:46:28,453 --> 00:46:30,371
in consideration for throwing
a little business our way?
898
00:46:30,455 --> 00:46:31,455
Larry.
899
00:46:31,915 --> 00:46:34,041
Well, what?
What did you talk about, Bob?!
900
00:46:36,628 --> 00:46:38,712
[sighs]
901
00:46:39,714 --> 00:46:42,633
Just- I don't know. Religion some.
902
00:46:43,677 --> 00:46:46,303
You talked to the president
of one of the largest manufacturing firms
903
00:46:46,388 --> 00:46:48,222
in all of the Midwest about religion?
904
00:46:49,099 --> 00:46:50,933
Is that who he is? I didn't know.
905
00:46:51,017 --> 00:46:53,185
Okay, wait, wait. What did you say to him?
906
00:46:53,269 --> 00:46:55,270
What exactly did you tell him
about religion?
907
00:46:56,856 --> 00:46:58,107
[sighs]
908
00:46:58,191 --> 00:46:59,233
We just talked.
909
00:46:59,317 --> 00:47:01,151
- You didn't contradict him, did you?
- No.
910
00:47:01,236 --> 00:47:02,444
Well, thank God.
911
00:47:02,529 --> 00:47:04,530
That's the first rule about
talking religion at a convention
912
00:47:04,614 --> 00:47:06,073
is, "Do not contradict the client. "
913
00:47:06,157 --> 00:47:08,075
No, I take that back.
That's the second rule.
914
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:10,911
The first rule about talking religion
at a convention is "Don't. "
915
00:47:10,996 --> 00:47:12,871
- Don't- Don't what?
- Don't do it.
916
00:47:12,956 --> 00:47:15,207
Well, we seem to have survived.
917
00:47:15,291 --> 00:47:17,710
- Did you contradict him?
- No.
918
00:47:17,794 --> 00:47:20,254
Well, then that's why, Bob.
That's the reason you survived.
919
00:47:21,631 --> 00:47:23,424
I thought it was a nice chat.
920
00:47:24,009 --> 00:47:28,345
How did you end up talking about religion
with Dick Fuller... in the first place?
921
00:47:29,514 --> 00:47:32,391
It just came up with the stories
of his dogs dying and all.
922
00:47:32,475 --> 00:47:34,268
You told him his dogs were in heaven?
923
00:47:34,853 --> 00:47:35,853
No.
924
00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:37,855
You told him his dogs were in hell?
925
00:47:37,939 --> 00:47:39,064
Of course not.
926
00:47:39,149 --> 00:47:42,026
Well, then what, Bob?
What exactly did you say to the man?
927
00:47:42,402 --> 00:47:43,402
[Bob sighing]
928
00:47:44,070 --> 00:47:45,529
We just- We started talking.
929
00:47:45,613 --> 00:47:47,906
The thing about the dogs
was just a lead-in.
930
00:47:48,450 --> 00:47:51,118
I mean, it got us talking
about life and death.
931
00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:55,706
It was a lead-in, Bob?
932
00:47:56,666 --> 00:47:57,666
Sure.
933
00:47:59,836 --> 00:48:01,754
Which implies, does it not,
that you were...
934
00:48:02,797 --> 00:48:06,884
looking for the opportunity
to talk about life and death?
935
00:48:06,968 --> 00:48:09,428
Sure, I-I guess so. Sure.
936
00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:13,640
No, don't say sure. It's not like "sure. "
How am I supposed to know?
937
00:48:13,725 --> 00:48:17,019
Bob, I mean, most-
Most people, you know, don't go around
938
00:48:17,103 --> 00:48:20,314
looking for opportunities to strike up
conversations with total strangers
939
00:48:20,398 --> 00:48:23,233
about life and death and religion
and things of that ilk.
940
00:48:23,318 --> 00:48:26,028
- Some people do.
- Some people, yeah.
941
00:48:26,112 --> 00:48:28,989
I guess there's some people,
and apparently you're one of them.
942
00:48:29,074 --> 00:48:31,033
But most people, no, Bob.
Most people-
943
00:48:31,117 --> 00:48:32,659
If you ask about life and death,
944
00:48:32,744 --> 00:48:35,079
they say, "Hey, life is good.
Death is bad. The end. "
945
00:48:35,163 --> 00:48:36,955
They don't go around
looking for opportunities.
946
00:48:37,665 --> 00:48:39,416
Well, then I guess I'm not most people.
947
00:48:40,460 --> 00:48:43,587
Bob, I- That's probably true.
I would say that's very safe to say.
948
00:48:44,631 --> 00:48:47,299
Look, I just think it's important
to let people know what you believe.
949
00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:49,301
Oh, Jesus Christ!
950
00:48:49,385 --> 00:48:52,304
If I had known that you were supposed to
get in touch with the guy,
951
00:48:52,388 --> 00:48:55,265
then I would have told you,
I would have alerted you somehow.
952
00:48:55,767 --> 00:48:57,059
It's not your fault, Bob.
953
00:48:58,561 --> 00:48:59,561
[Larry] Phil!
954
00:49:01,606 --> 00:49:04,149
How was he to know?
He was just talkin' to the guy.
955
00:49:04,234 --> 00:49:07,528
Talkin' to the guy, yes.
But listening? No, I don't think so.
956
00:49:07,612 --> 00:49:10,739
at least not for the opportunities
to advance the interests of the company.
957
00:49:10,824 --> 00:49:14,159
Maybe if the conversation had stayed on
a more temporal plane,
958
00:49:14,244 --> 00:49:16,954
then just maybe, perhaps,
it might have worked itself around
959
00:49:17,038 --> 00:49:19,665
to the subject of where lubricants
might have been mentioned!
960
00:49:19,749 --> 00:49:20,749
You don't know that.
961
00:49:20,834 --> 00:49:23,210
Oh, come on. I think
the odds are a hell of a lot better,
962
00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:25,879
but as it was, the conversation
was not allowed to have a natural course,
963
00:49:25,964 --> 00:49:28,507
because somebody was at the helm
directing it. Am I right, Bob?
964
00:49:28,591 --> 00:49:31,176
Sounds to me like the guy just wanted
to be left alone.
965
00:49:31,594 --> 00:49:33,720
Well, that is not the point
and you know it.
966
00:49:33,805 --> 00:49:35,848
Phil's right.
He practically came out and said it.
967
00:49:35,932 --> 00:49:39,810
Well, guys, friends, compadres,
it was our task at hand
968
00:49:39,894 --> 00:49:42,688
to overcome that desire of his
for a little while,
969
00:49:43,064 --> 00:49:44,481
to garner his interest,
970
00:49:44,566 --> 00:49:47,359
and I submit to you
he did not want to be left alone.
971
00:49:47,443 --> 00:49:50,112
If he had, he would have stayed
in his hotel room all night long.
972
00:49:50,196 --> 00:49:52,114
He would not have gone
cruising the hospitality suites
973
00:49:52,198 --> 00:49:53,365
in search of conversation.
974
00:49:53,449 --> 00:49:55,450
I submit to you
he did not wish to be left alone,
975
00:49:55,535 --> 00:49:56,785
but only not to talk business.
976
00:49:56,870 --> 00:49:59,913
- In which case we're out of luck anyway.
- Oh, now, Phil. Come on.
977
00:49:59,998 --> 00:50:01,540
There's ways around that,
and you know it.
978
00:50:01,624 --> 00:50:04,543
Not to badger the man, but to let him know
what we came here to tell him.
979
00:50:04,627 --> 00:50:05,961
That's what I'm saying.
980
00:50:06,045 --> 00:50:07,004
I'm sorry.
981
00:50:07,088 --> 00:50:10,174
There's no good to be sorry, Bob.
It doesn't do us any good now.
982
00:50:10,258 --> 00:50:11,341
What else can I do?
983
00:50:11,426 --> 00:50:13,844
Nothing, there is nothing you can do now
at this juncture!
984
00:50:13,928 --> 00:50:14,928
Nothing.
985
00:50:24,022 --> 00:50:25,647
Did he happen to mention
where he was staying?
986
00:50:26,816 --> 00:50:28,066
Somewhere in the hotel.
987
00:50:28,151 --> 00:50:29,234
This hotel?
988
00:50:30,236 --> 00:50:31,236
Yes.
989
00:50:31,321 --> 00:50:33,906
What are you gonna do, Larry?
Bang on his door after midnight?
990
00:50:33,990 --> 00:50:36,325
I'm just asking. Is there a crime in that?
Because I'm thinking
991
00:50:36,409 --> 00:50:38,994
that maybe tomorrow morning we could...
you know,
992
00:50:39,078 --> 00:50:42,122
run into him in the coffee shop
downstairs accidentally.
993
00:50:42,207 --> 00:50:44,458
- We don't know what he looks like.
- Well, Bob does.
994
00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:45,959
I'd be willing to do that.
995
00:50:48,004 --> 00:50:50,672
What's all this business
on the back of his card, Bob?
996
00:50:51,633 --> 00:50:53,550
That's where he was going
after he left here.
997
00:50:53,635 --> 00:50:54,760
What, what, what?
998
00:50:54,844 --> 00:50:57,387
Some kind of private party
at the hotel down the street.
999
00:50:57,472 --> 00:50:59,348
Well, what are we doing here? Let's go!
1000
00:50:59,432 --> 00:51:00,432
We can't.
1001
00:51:00,516 --> 00:51:02,517
- Why not?
- It's by invitation only.
1002
00:51:02,602 --> 00:51:03,435
So?
1003
00:51:03,519 --> 00:51:05,979
So, I think he'd get mad
if we all showed up like that.
1004
00:51:06,064 --> 00:51:07,981
He made a big point
about how private it was.
1005
00:51:08,066 --> 00:51:10,901
That's the least of our worries.
If he gets mad, we'Il deal with it.
1006
00:51:10,985 --> 00:51:12,527
Come on. Grab your coats.
1007
00:51:12,612 --> 00:51:14,863
- No, not so fast, Larry.
- What?
1008
00:51:14,948 --> 00:51:16,782
I think Bob may be right.
1009
00:51:16,866 --> 00:51:19,534
I mean, we don't want to
barge in on this guy.
1010
00:51:19,619 --> 00:51:20,619
Phil!
1011
00:51:20,703 --> 00:51:22,496
Well- Well, think about it.
1012
00:51:22,580 --> 00:51:26,375
Do you really want to piss this guy off
by crashing some exclusive party,
1013
00:51:26,459 --> 00:51:28,418
not to mention whoever else
might be there?
1014
00:51:28,503 --> 00:51:30,754
What do you suggest we do?
Stand around here in a circle jerk
1015
00:51:30,838 --> 00:51:32,965
while the account of a lifetime
slips through our fingers?
1016
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:35,008
No, no.
1017
00:51:35,093 --> 00:51:36,260
Well, what then?
1018
00:51:42,517 --> 00:51:43,767
I think we send Bob.
1019
00:51:45,645 --> 00:51:46,645
What?
1020
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,607
Look, he gave you that thing
as an invitation, right?
1021
00:51:51,192 --> 00:51:53,026
Yeah, he said it would get me in.
1022
00:51:53,111 --> 00:51:55,570
Phil, Phil, Phil!
Don't do this to me, man.
1023
00:51:55,655 --> 00:51:57,406
What choice do we have?
1024
00:51:57,949 --> 00:52:00,575
That is our only legitimate way in there.
1025
00:52:00,660 --> 00:52:03,328
Besides, he knows Bob.
1026
00:52:03,830 --> 00:52:06,540
They talked. Bob's got an in.
1027
00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:08,792
You are putting our future
in the hands of a kid.
1028
00:52:10,086 --> 00:52:12,254
Nah, it's gonna be all right.
Give me your card.
1029
00:52:12,338 --> 00:52:14,006
- Oh, Jesus Christ-
- Give me your card.
1030
00:52:17,552 --> 00:52:18,468
All right.
1031
00:52:18,553 --> 00:52:20,721
Now, here's what I want you to do.
Sit down!
1032
00:52:23,057 --> 00:52:24,057
Listen to me.
1033
00:52:24,142 --> 00:52:25,142
I'm listening.
1034
00:52:26,060 --> 00:52:27,978
All right, here's what I want you to do.
1035
00:52:29,731 --> 00:52:31,732
I want you to go down the street
1036
00:52:31,816 --> 00:52:33,650
and see if you can find Mr. Fuller.
1037
00:52:34,152 --> 00:52:36,403
If you're fortunate and he is still there,
1038
00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:39,156
I want you to give him our business cards.
1039
00:52:39,240 --> 00:52:41,616
Tell him that we are very anxious
1040
00:52:41,701 --> 00:52:42,784
to meet with him...
1041
00:52:43,411 --> 00:52:45,162
as soon as it's humanly possible.
1042
00:52:45,246 --> 00:52:47,289
- You got that?
- As soon as humanly possible.
1043
00:52:47,373 --> 00:52:50,917
Okay. Tell him we'll be around the hotel
all morning tomorrow.
1044
00:52:51,002 --> 00:52:54,463
He can reach us here
or at the numbers on these cards.
1045
00:52:55,173 --> 00:52:57,215
All right, here. Ask him-
1046
00:52:57,300 --> 00:53:00,635
Ask him to please get a hold
of either Larry or me,
1047
00:53:01,304 --> 00:53:04,598
because we would like
to speak to him very briefly...
1048
00:53:04,682 --> 00:53:05,974
about business.
1049
00:53:06,059 --> 00:53:07,726
Business, just business.
1050
00:53:07,810 --> 00:53:10,312
Explain to him we know
that he's very busy.
1051
00:53:10,396 --> 00:53:12,189
It won't take up much time,
1052
00:53:12,273 --> 00:53:15,817
but there are a few things
that we need to discuss.
1053
00:53:16,569 --> 00:53:17,861
Now, do you have that, Bob?
1054
00:53:17,945 --> 00:53:21,281
- Yeah, I'll try.
- All you have to do- Listen to me.
1055
00:53:21,366 --> 00:53:23,867
All you have to do
is give him the cards and leave.
1056
00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:25,494
What if he wants to talk?
1057
00:53:25,578 --> 00:53:27,788
Well, then you talk as long as he wants.
1058
00:53:27,872 --> 00:53:30,499
Forty days and forty nights,
if you have to, until he tires of it.
1059
00:53:30,583 --> 00:53:32,376
Then you come back here
and tell us what happened.
1060
00:53:33,628 --> 00:53:34,711
You'll wait up?
1061
00:53:34,796 --> 00:53:37,631
Till the next fiscal quarter.
Beyond that, I can't make any guarantees.
1062
00:53:39,133 --> 00:53:41,218
Don't worry about it.
You're gonna do fine.
1063
00:53:41,302 --> 00:53:42,386
Yeah, you'll do fine, Bob.
1064
00:53:42,470 --> 00:53:44,012
I'm sorry for doubting you.
Of course you'll do fine.
1065
00:53:44,097 --> 00:53:45,806
If you follow those instructions
to the letter...
1066
00:53:45,890 --> 00:53:47,349
- you'll do great, you understand?
- Yes.
1067
00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:49,976
Okay, good. Now go. Time's a-wasting.
1068
00:53:50,937 --> 00:53:53,480
- I'll see you guys later.
- Okay, and hurry! But not too fast!
1069
00:53:53,564 --> 00:53:56,066
Because you'll work up a sweat
and he won't want to come near you.
1070
00:53:56,150 --> 00:53:57,359
[under breath] Okay.
1071
00:54:04,951 --> 00:54:06,368
Do I, uh-
1072
00:54:07,370 --> 00:54:10,414
Do I strike you as
a particularly religious man, Phil?
1073
00:54:13,376 --> 00:54:14,584
Not in the slightest.
1074
00:54:16,587 --> 00:54:20,424
Then why am I seized with a sudden,
overwhelming desire to...
1075
00:54:20,508 --> 00:54:21,633
pray?
1076
00:55:00,131 --> 00:55:02,132
[applause, whistling on TV]
1077
00:55:04,510 --> 00:55:07,387
[man on TV] I should let it dry,
but I'm a little impatient.
1078
00:55:18,774 --> 00:55:20,650
I wonder if he found him.
1079
00:55:23,237 --> 00:55:24,946
[exhales] He found him.
1080
00:55:25,615 --> 00:55:26,781
What makes you so sure?
1081
00:55:27,909 --> 00:55:30,035
[sighs]
1082
00:55:30,119 --> 00:55:32,496
He hadn't have,
he would've been back by now.
1083
00:55:33,748 --> 00:55:34,831
Not necessarily.
1084
00:55:35,833 --> 00:55:37,000
It'll be all right.
1085
00:55:37,710 --> 00:55:38,710
Yeah.
1086
00:55:44,467 --> 00:55:46,593
Phil, can I ask you something seriously?
1087
00:55:48,262 --> 00:55:49,262
Yeah.
1088
00:55:49,347 --> 00:55:51,806
Are you on some kind of medication
I should know about?
1089
00:55:57,980 --> 00:56:00,106
What makes you think
I'm taking medication?
1090
00:56:01,442 --> 00:56:04,819
Because I've never seen you
this relaxed before.
1091
00:56:05,738 --> 00:56:08,657
I almost get the impression
that you just frankly don't give a shit.
1092
00:56:11,285 --> 00:56:12,285
I don't.
1093
00:56:13,371 --> 00:56:14,538
No, I know that.
1094
00:56:14,622 --> 00:56:16,748
We all don't give a shit
to a certain extent.
1095
00:56:16,832 --> 00:56:18,917
What I'm saying is
it's like you don't care.
1096
00:56:22,046 --> 00:56:23,421
I'm tired, Larry.
1097
00:56:24,257 --> 00:56:26,716
Well, I recognize that.
It's been a very long day.
1098
00:56:27,385 --> 00:56:28,552
That's not what I mean.
1099
00:56:36,394 --> 00:56:40,230
I get what you're driving at,
and I sympathize. I do.
1100
00:56:40,314 --> 00:56:43,692
We all know you've been
going through a lot lately, Phil, and...
1101
00:56:43,776 --> 00:56:45,944
for a long time
I've been meaning to state outright,
1102
00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:49,197
if you need anything at all,
you don't hesitate to call, day or night.
1103
00:56:50,449 --> 00:56:53,994
I would've said something sooner,
but I-I thought maybe it was understood.
1104
00:56:54,829 --> 00:56:56,121
I assumed as much.
1105
00:56:57,039 --> 00:57:00,208
Well, you were right, too,
and I hope you know I mean it.
1106
00:57:01,627 --> 00:57:04,337
I've been thinkin' about
makin' a few changes.
1107
00:57:06,215 --> 00:57:07,257
Like what?
1108
00:57:07,883 --> 00:57:10,302
I don't know. Just changes.
1109
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:14,264
Well, you sure that's wise, Phil?
1110
00:57:14,348 --> 00:57:17,976
I mean, you've had an awful lot
of changes imposed on you in recent days.
1111
00:57:18,060 --> 00:57:21,146
Maybe it's time for you to just, you know,
let things settle.
1112
00:57:25,359 --> 00:57:27,736
I've been toying with the idea of...
1113
00:57:27,820 --> 00:57:30,947
pursuing a... different line of work.
1114
00:57:32,241 --> 00:57:33,658
Something other than marketing?
1115
00:57:36,370 --> 00:57:37,370
Yeah.
1116
00:57:37,455 --> 00:57:40,373
Well, speaking as your friend,
Phil, as one who knows you...
1117
00:57:41,000 --> 00:57:42,083
intimately, as it were,
1118
00:57:42,168 --> 00:57:44,210
I- I think that's a bad idea,
1119
00:57:44,295 --> 00:57:46,504
Dare I say an entirely shitty idea.
1120
00:57:47,089 --> 00:57:48,256
Why?
1121
00:57:48,341 --> 00:57:51,509
Well, because "A," you were born for this.
You have a gift.
1122
00:57:52,178 --> 00:57:53,386
I'm not Murdoch.
1123
00:57:54,639 --> 00:57:56,139
Well, nobody's Murdoch.
1124
00:57:57,183 --> 00:58:00,352
Murdoch doesn't exist.
He's what we pumped him up to be.
1125
00:58:01,562 --> 00:58:05,315
"B," I don't exactly relish the idea of
goin' out on the road with somebody new.
1126
00:58:07,068 --> 00:58:08,860
It was gonna happen sooner or later.
1127
00:58:09,528 --> 00:58:10,362
No, it wasn't.
1128
00:58:10,446 --> 00:58:13,156
I was always hoping we'd end in a kind of
murder-suicide thing.
1129
00:58:14,950 --> 00:58:16,409
[sigh]
1130
00:58:20,456 --> 00:58:24,042
[quiet chatter]
1131
00:59:08,087 --> 00:59:09,879
[Phil sighing]
1132
00:59:11,173 --> 00:59:12,966
I've been thinking about...
1133
00:59:13,050 --> 00:59:15,343
a lot of other things lately too.
1134
00:59:17,972 --> 00:59:19,973
Well, Phil, if something's bothering you,
get it out.
1135
00:59:20,057 --> 00:59:22,434
I mean, it doesn't do any good
to let things fester.
1136
00:59:23,185 --> 00:59:24,853
What exactly have you been...
1137
00:59:25,730 --> 00:59:26,980
thinking so much about?
1138
00:59:28,941 --> 00:59:29,858
Life.
1139
00:59:29,942 --> 00:59:30,942
Life?
1140
00:59:32,403 --> 00:59:33,737
And death.
1141
00:59:34,822 --> 00:59:36,156
Jesus, not you too?
1142
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,575
What is it with everyone
suddenly thinking about life and death?
1143
00:59:38,659 --> 00:59:39,743
Is there something going on
1144
00:59:39,827 --> 00:59:41,786
that nobody's telling me
that I should be told about,
1145
00:59:41,871 --> 00:59:43,204
like sunspots or something?
1146
00:59:43,289 --> 00:59:45,915
Is there a plague coming
to wipe us from the globe?
1147
00:59:47,501 --> 00:59:48,668
Strange things happen.
1148
00:59:49,587 --> 00:59:50,670
No, they don't.
1149
00:59:50,755 --> 00:59:53,131
Not unless they're printed first
in USA Today.
1150
00:59:53,215 --> 00:59:55,633
Jesus comes again, he's got to give 'em
two days' notice.
1151
00:59:55,718 --> 00:59:57,635
Time to work up one of them little graphs.
1152
01:00:00,514 --> 01:00:03,057
I've been thinking about God lately, too.
1153
01:00:03,434 --> 01:00:04,434
Wondering.
1154
01:00:06,395 --> 01:00:07,395
About God?
1155
01:00:08,105 --> 01:00:09,105
Yeah.
1156
01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:13,276
What about him?
1157
01:00:17,281 --> 01:00:18,406
I don't know.
1158
01:00:19,825 --> 01:00:22,869
Haven't you just wondered about God, ever?
1159
01:00:25,414 --> 01:00:28,374
Well, yeah. Everybody wonders about God
every now and then.
1160
01:00:28,459 --> 01:00:30,919
It's just some of us don't dwell on it,
you know?
1161
01:00:32,296 --> 01:00:35,799
I give it a place.
I believe what I believe.
1162
01:00:37,259 --> 01:00:39,302
- Which is what?
- How the hell should I know?
1163
01:00:44,475 --> 01:00:46,976
When I was a kid,
I had a dream about God.
1164
01:00:49,688 --> 01:00:50,688
I dreamt...
1165
01:00:51,690 --> 01:00:53,983
I found him hiding in a closet
1166
01:00:54,068 --> 01:00:56,444
in the middle of a burnt-out city.
1167
01:00:58,739 --> 01:01:01,199
This city was destroyed by fire...
1168
01:01:03,452 --> 01:01:05,203
or some kind of explosion.
1169
01:01:07,706 --> 01:01:08,706
And...
1170
01:01:09,834 --> 01:01:11,835
there in the middle of it...
1171
01:01:13,003 --> 01:01:14,712
was a coat closet...
1172
01:01:16,423 --> 01:01:18,049
standing there all by itself.
1173
01:01:20,594 --> 01:01:23,346
and I walked up to the closet
and opened the door...
1174
01:01:25,808 --> 01:01:27,976
and inside was God,
1175
01:01:29,144 --> 01:01:30,144
hiding.
1176
01:01:32,189 --> 01:01:35,817
I remember he had a-a big lion head.
1177
01:01:37,945 --> 01:01:39,445
But I knew it wasn't a lion.
1178
01:01:41,156 --> 01:01:42,198
It was God.
1179
01:01:43,450 --> 01:01:44,450
And he was afraid.
1180
01:01:47,997 --> 01:01:51,749
And... I reached out my hand...
1181
01:01:53,252 --> 01:01:54,794
to lead him out of the closet,
1182
01:01:57,798 --> 01:01:58,798
and I said,
1183
01:02:00,968 --> 01:02:02,468
"Don't be afraid, God.
1184
01:02:04,179 --> 01:02:05,346
"I'm on your side. "
1185
01:02:09,476 --> 01:02:10,518
And we stood there,
1186
01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:13,771
the two of us,
1187
01:02:14,732 --> 01:02:15,982
holding hands,
1188
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:20,278
looking out over the destruction.
1189
01:02:24,575 --> 01:02:26,492
It was just after sunset.
1190
01:02:33,667 --> 01:02:37,086
I don't know why,
but I've always had this...
1191
01:02:37,922 --> 01:02:39,380
haunting feeling...
1192
01:02:42,343 --> 01:02:45,386
that I had some kind
of mission here on earth.
1193
01:02:51,477 --> 01:02:52,477
A mission?
1194
01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:54,604
Yeah.
1195
01:02:56,148 --> 01:02:57,273
What kind of mission?
1196
01:03:00,986 --> 01:03:02,487
I have no idea.
1197
01:03:06,158 --> 01:03:07,992
Well, I'll tell you what your mission is.
1198
01:03:08,077 --> 01:03:09,619
Your mission is the same as mine-
1199
01:03:10,788 --> 01:03:14,415
To be a... liaison between parties.
1200
01:03:17,544 --> 01:03:19,253
Things like that don't bother you, huh?
1201
01:03:22,007 --> 01:03:23,132
What do you mean? Dreams?
1202
01:03:23,676 --> 01:03:25,176
Questions about God.
1203
01:03:29,348 --> 01:03:30,682
Well, I figure, you know...
1204
01:03:33,018 --> 01:03:34,978
I'm gonna find out sooner or later.
1205
01:03:35,062 --> 01:03:38,272
My wondering about it
isn't gonna change anything.
1206
01:03:38,816 --> 01:03:42,485
You know, in the meantime, why lose sleep?
I get precious little as it is.
1207
01:03:46,198 --> 01:03:47,740
But you still wonder, don't you?
1208
01:03:52,997 --> 01:03:54,330
I'm human, Phil.
1209
01:03:56,041 --> 01:03:57,041
I know.
1210
01:03:59,378 --> 01:04:02,588
We're all very tired, Phil.
You know, it's the nature of the business.
1211
01:04:02,673 --> 01:04:05,133
You've been under
a lot of stress lately, too.
1212
01:04:07,511 --> 01:04:08,678
Is that what it is?
1213
01:04:09,763 --> 01:04:11,848
Yeah. You're damn right that's what it is.
1214
01:04:12,516 --> 01:04:13,599
You need a vacation.
1215
01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:17,395
I just had a vacation.
1216
01:04:17,479 --> 01:04:19,814
Well, it didn't do any good,
so you need another one.
1217
01:04:19,898 --> 01:04:21,649
You know, maybe just a good, hot date.
1218
01:04:22,192 --> 01:04:24,277
- [chuckling] Yeah?
- Yeah.
1219
01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:26,863
You need, uh, what's-her-name, the blonde.
1220
01:04:29,533 --> 01:04:32,744
- Susan.
- [chuckles] Yeah. Susan.
1221
01:04:32,828 --> 01:04:35,038
That's what you do.
That's exactly what you do.
1222
01:04:35,122 --> 01:04:36,122
You call her up,
1223
01:04:36,957 --> 01:04:39,083
you tell her you made reservations
in the dells,
1224
01:04:40,044 --> 01:04:42,170
you buy yourself a gross
or two of condoms,
1225
01:04:42,254 --> 01:04:45,381
and then the two of you
go at it like hamsters in heat.
1226
01:04:45,466 --> 01:04:47,425
You forget about work.
You forget about everything.
1227
01:04:47,926 --> 01:04:50,678
You know, you just go on up there
and get your ashes hauled.
1228
01:05:11,992 --> 01:05:14,285
[no audible dialogue]
1229
01:05:51,031 --> 01:05:52,198
Do you love me, Larry?
1230
01:05:58,497 --> 01:06:00,039
D- Do I love you?
1231
01:06:01,625 --> 01:06:02,625
Yeah.
1232
01:06:03,919 --> 01:06:06,212
Well, it depends on what you mean, Phil.
I mean...
1233
01:06:07,548 --> 01:06:10,299
If you're asking, am I willing
to have your children, well, then, no,
1234
01:06:10,384 --> 01:06:11,634
I probably don't love you.
1235
01:06:13,929 --> 01:06:14,929
Why do you ask?
1236
01:06:16,014 --> 01:06:17,140
It's just a question.
1237
01:06:18,684 --> 01:06:20,184
How could I not love you?
1238
01:06:21,812 --> 01:06:24,438
You have good hygiene.
You're a snappy dresser.
1239
01:06:25,399 --> 01:06:28,025
You don't talk with your mouth full.
What's not to love about that?
1240
01:06:30,821 --> 01:06:31,821
Forget it.
1241
01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:36,492
What brought that on?
1242
01:06:39,037 --> 01:06:40,746
Well, when I was a kid,
1243
01:06:42,124 --> 01:06:44,083
there was a Bible verse that I learned.
1244
01:06:46,587 --> 01:06:47,712
And Jesus said,
1245
01:06:51,216 --> 01:06:53,342
"Greater love has no man than this:
1246
01:06:54,928 --> 01:06:57,221
"that he lays down
his life for his friend. "
1247
01:06:59,224 --> 01:07:02,226
Are you asking,
would I be willing to die for you?
1248
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:04,520
I guess so.
1249
01:07:07,691 --> 01:07:09,692
Well, that's pushing things
kind of far, Phil.
1250
01:07:10,319 --> 01:07:13,404
I mean, what situation
could possibly come up
1251
01:07:13,488 --> 01:07:15,615
that I would be called upon
to die for you?
1252
01:07:20,245 --> 01:07:22,371
- Beats me.
- [chuckles]
1253
01:07:22,456 --> 01:07:24,624
I mean, what? You're saying, "Hey, hey.
1254
01:07:24,708 --> 01:07:27,376
"Larry, take a flying leap
off the balcony"? No, I wouldn't.
1255
01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:31,631
I wouldn't ask you.
1256
01:07:34,092 --> 01:07:36,510
Well, even if you did,
I'd say, "Phil, my friend,
1257
01:07:36,595 --> 01:07:38,930
"we've enjoyed a long
and happy relationship
1258
01:07:39,014 --> 01:07:40,723
"these last I-don't-know-how-many years,
1259
01:07:40,807 --> 01:07:43,017
"but in answer to your request,
no, fuck you,"
1260
01:07:43,101 --> 01:07:45,394
and then I would dismiss myself,
no hard feelings.
1261
01:07:49,316 --> 01:07:50,316
Right. You should.
1262
01:07:59,952 --> 01:08:01,285
I don't know who I love.
1263
01:08:06,250 --> 01:08:07,750
There's a lot of people I like.
1264
01:08:15,342 --> 01:08:16,342
But love?
1265
01:08:21,265 --> 01:08:22,723
That's a whole different story.
1266
01:08:28,188 --> 01:08:29,355
Don't worry about it.
1267
01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:32,984
Yeah.
1268
01:08:45,122 --> 01:08:46,122
Oh!
1269
01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:48,040
He's here!
1270
01:08:49,042 --> 01:08:50,042
I told you.
1271
01:08:52,963 --> 01:08:53,963
So.
1272
01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:55,840
What?
1273
01:08:56,300 --> 01:08:57,258
How'd it go?
1274
01:08:58,051 --> 01:08:59,051
Okay.
1275
01:09:00,053 --> 01:09:01,053
Did you find him?
1276
01:09:04,308 --> 01:09:05,683
Yes, I-I found him.
1277
01:09:07,060 --> 01:09:08,060
[Phil] And?
1278
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:09,520
And we talked.
1279
01:09:12,316 --> 01:09:13,274
And?
1280
01:09:13,358 --> 01:09:15,609
And nothing. We just talked.
1281
01:09:17,696 --> 01:09:19,572
Well, what'd you talk about, Bob?
1282
01:09:22,659 --> 01:09:25,077
Bob, what did you talk about?
1283
01:09:25,996 --> 01:09:27,455
We talked about Christ.
1284
01:09:36,089 --> 01:09:37,089
You talked about-
1285
01:09:38,467 --> 01:09:39,467
Jesus.
1286
01:09:40,302 --> 01:09:42,553
Did you mention, perhaps,
what line of lubricants
1287
01:09:42,637 --> 01:09:44,013
Jesus would have endorsed?
1288
01:09:44,097 --> 01:09:46,265
- Larry-
- What did you say to him, Bob?
1289
01:09:49,603 --> 01:09:51,896
We just... discussed things.
1290
01:09:52,898 --> 01:09:54,023
Concerning Jesus?
1291
01:09:55,275 --> 01:09:57,985
- Concerning a lot of things.
- In relation to...
1292
01:09:58,320 --> 01:09:59,612
- Jesus.
- Jesus.
1293
01:10:01,114 --> 01:10:02,281
Yes, I see.
1294
01:10:05,535 --> 01:10:09,288
[claps hands] So the subject of lubricants
didn't come up, I take it.
1295
01:10:09,790 --> 01:10:13,000
Well, the nature of the conversation
steered itself away from that.
1296
01:10:13,085 --> 01:10:14,085
The nature did?
1297
01:10:15,462 --> 01:10:16,462
All by itself?
1298
01:10:17,714 --> 01:10:18,714
Yes.
1299
01:10:19,549 --> 01:10:22,593
So, conversation was
just kind of going along,
1300
01:10:22,677 --> 01:10:24,178
and then, you know, on its own,
1301
01:10:24,262 --> 01:10:26,263
and then suddenly,
sort of out of the blue,
1302
01:10:26,348 --> 01:10:29,350
and before you knew it,
you were just there talking about God
1303
01:10:29,434 --> 01:10:31,060
or Jesus- Excuse me.
1304
01:10:31,353 --> 01:10:33,854
It was just two people talking.
1305
01:10:35,190 --> 01:10:37,024
I'm about to say something to you, Bob.
1306
01:10:38,568 --> 01:10:40,694
It's not something I say
to a lot of people,
1307
01:10:40,779 --> 01:10:43,823
because I have to truly
mean it and believe it.
1308
01:10:44,241 --> 01:10:46,951
Because to me, it's like
telling somebody to go to hell.
1309
01:10:47,661 --> 01:10:49,036
That's what it means to me.
1310
01:10:50,080 --> 01:10:53,874
- What is it?
- It's that I don't believe you, Bob.
1311
01:10:54,418 --> 01:10:55,876
- You don't-
- Believe you.
1312
01:10:56,628 --> 01:11:00,840
Yes, I'm having a hard time
convincing myself
1313
01:11:00,924 --> 01:11:02,925
that what you just said is true.
1314
01:11:03,343 --> 01:11:05,428
- It is true.
- Perhaps.
1315
01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:09,348
But I'm having a hard time.
Do you understand?
1316
01:11:09,433 --> 01:11:10,641
Larry. Come on.
1317
01:11:10,934 --> 01:11:11,934
Leave me alone!
1318
01:11:13,854 --> 01:11:15,312
[Larry] Will you please-
1319
01:11:17,607 --> 01:11:22,027
I'm trying to deal with things here, okay,
so just don't interrupt me again.
1320
01:11:22,446 --> 01:11:23,779
It's all right, Phil.
1321
01:11:23,864 --> 01:11:25,239
See? It's all right.
1322
01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:32,580
Now, Bob, I'd like to ask you a question,
1323
01:11:33,165 --> 01:11:34,665
and I'd like a straight answer.
1324
01:11:34,749 --> 01:11:36,500
- Can you give that to me?
- Yes.
1325
01:11:37,085 --> 01:11:39,295
Who... raised...
1326
01:11:39,838 --> 01:11:43,090
the subject of Jesus, honestly?
1327
01:11:57,063 --> 01:11:57,897
I did.
1328
01:11:58,690 --> 01:11:59,690
You...
1329
01:12:00,442 --> 01:12:01,442
Yes.
1330
01:12:01,943 --> 01:12:04,570
...mentioned Jesus first.
1331
01:12:05,655 --> 01:12:06,614
Yes.
1332
01:12:11,328 --> 01:12:12,328
Why?
1333
01:12:13,788 --> 01:12:15,789
Because it's very important to me...
1334
01:12:17,626 --> 01:12:20,669
that people hear about Jesus.
1335
01:12:24,716 --> 01:12:25,716
You mean, that-
1336
01:12:27,469 --> 01:12:29,303
That he died for their sins?
1337
01:12:30,138 --> 01:12:31,055
Yes.
1338
01:12:37,145 --> 01:12:39,271
Okay, Bob. Let me restate the question.
1339
01:12:40,815 --> 01:12:42,566
Understanding that it was...
1340
01:12:43,068 --> 01:12:45,194
very important to our being here
1341
01:12:45,278 --> 01:12:48,072
that we meet with
and speak to Mr. Fuller
1342
01:12:48,156 --> 01:12:51,784
concerning... the lubricant situation,
1343
01:12:54,371 --> 01:12:56,080
why did you instead...
1344
01:12:57,541 --> 01:12:59,792
choose to talk to him about Jesus?
1345
01:13:00,544 --> 01:13:02,294
[exhales]
1346
01:13:03,421 --> 01:13:05,214
Because I think it's more important.
1347
01:13:07,175 --> 01:13:10,427
Even though we're at a convention
where it's more customary to...
1348
01:13:11,137 --> 01:13:12,179
talk business.
1349
01:13:12,681 --> 01:13:15,641
Yes! I understand, Larry.
1350
01:13:16,643 --> 01:13:19,061
I just don't see the crime in speaking
1351
01:13:19,145 --> 01:13:23,315
to, uh, another human being
as another human being.
1352
01:13:23,984 --> 01:13:26,777
I didn't mention work or lubricants
or anything like that
1353
01:13:26,861 --> 01:13:29,113
because I didn't want him
to think I was using...
1354
01:13:29,197 --> 01:13:32,324
the subject of religion to cozy up to him,
1355
01:13:32,409 --> 01:13:34,618
to get him to sign some contract.
1356
01:13:36,079 --> 01:13:38,581
I didn't want him
to think I was insincere.
1357
01:13:42,085 --> 01:13:45,963
But you were insincere, Bob,
in a much greater sense.
1358
01:13:46,256 --> 01:13:50,301
If we're nothing but functions here,
then why don't theyjust send robots?
1359
01:13:50,719 --> 01:13:53,012
They don't send robots, Bob,
for the simple reason,
1360
01:13:53,096 --> 01:13:54,513
they haven't invented one yet.
1361
01:13:55,390 --> 01:13:57,725
The day comes when they can build a robot
1362
01:13:57,809 --> 01:14:00,185
to do what we do and make it work,
1363
01:14:00,270 --> 01:14:02,354
then that's exactly what they'll do,
1364
01:14:02,439 --> 01:14:03,564
precisely.
1365
01:14:04,316 --> 01:14:06,984
But until that day, they send us.
1366
01:14:07,068 --> 01:14:09,570
They say, "Hey, Bob, Larry, Phil,
1367
01:14:09,654 --> 01:14:12,114
"why don't you go on down to Wichita
for a couple of days?
1368
01:14:12,198 --> 01:14:14,700
"Don't worry about your room and board.
We'll take care of that. "
1369
01:14:15,160 --> 01:14:16,869
And for a couple of days, Bob,
1370
01:14:18,371 --> 01:14:20,372
we lose our identities
1371
01:14:20,707 --> 01:14:22,166
here in Wichita,
1372
01:14:22,792 --> 01:14:27,046
and we become... the hands of the company,
1373
01:14:27,130 --> 01:14:29,798
shaking all the other hands before us.
1374
01:14:29,883 --> 01:14:32,301
What you did-
The reason you were insincere,
1375
01:14:32,385 --> 01:14:34,720
is that you cut off that bond.
1376
01:14:34,804 --> 01:14:38,766
It would be like the hand just sort of
breaking away from the arm and saying,
1377
01:14:38,850 --> 01:14:41,435
"Oh, you know what?
I have this thing out here to do
1378
01:14:41,519 --> 01:14:43,020
"that has nothing to do with you. "
1379
01:14:43,104 --> 01:14:44,938
- The Apostle Paul said-
- Please don't do that.
1380
01:14:45,023 --> 01:14:47,775
I'm trying to have conversation with you.
Don't bring the Apostle Paul in.
1381
01:14:47,859 --> 01:14:49,151
I'm trying to do something else.
1382
01:14:49,235 --> 01:14:51,612
I don't see how we can have
a conversation like this
1383
01:14:51,696 --> 01:14:54,114
if I'm not allowed to bring up
the subject of God.
1384
01:14:54,199 --> 01:14:55,282
We're not talking about God.
1385
01:14:55,367 --> 01:14:56,950
I'm talking about
something bigger than God.
1386
01:14:57,035 --> 01:15:00,079
- Bigger than God?!
- At issue, Bob, is not your belief in God
1387
01:15:00,163 --> 01:15:02,081
or your desire to spread that belief.
1388
01:15:02,165 --> 01:15:04,249
At issue is what we're here to do.
1389
01:15:04,334 --> 01:15:06,126
Which is what, Larry? Which is what?!
1390
01:15:06,711 --> 01:15:08,837
We're here to sell lubricants, Bob!
1391
01:15:08,922 --> 01:15:12,549
Industrial lubricants!
We're not here to save souls.
1392
01:15:12,634 --> 01:15:16,053
We're not here to go chasing women either,
but that doesn't seem to stop you.
1393
01:15:17,097 --> 01:15:20,057
How dare you throw that back in my face?
1394
01:15:20,141 --> 01:15:21,850
How dare you, you little pipsqueak?
1395
01:15:24,354 --> 01:15:27,022
There is nothing wrong
with admiring the scenery
1396
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:29,066
while you're doing business,
1397
01:15:29,150 --> 01:15:32,194
as long as you're doing business!
1398
01:15:32,862 --> 01:15:35,155
and for your information, son,
1399
01:15:35,907 --> 01:15:37,783
fifteen years,
1400
01:15:38,535 --> 01:15:41,620
not once have I cheated on my wife.
1401
01:15:42,205 --> 01:15:44,832
If you look at a woman with lust,
it's the same as-
1402
01:15:44,916 --> 01:15:46,834
No, it's not!
There's a hell of a difference-
1403
01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:48,085
That's not what Jesus said-
1404
01:15:48,169 --> 01:15:50,629
How do you know what Jesus said,
for Christ's sake? Were you there?
1405
01:15:50,714 --> 01:15:52,881
- No, somebody wrote it down in a book.
- Larry.
1406
01:15:52,966 --> 01:15:54,800
If somebody handed it down,
you believe it, yeah, sure.
1407
01:15:54,884 --> 01:15:56,385
Transcriptions are true!
1408
01:15:56,469 --> 01:15:58,345
It doesn't mean I'm right or you're right.
We weren't there!
1409
01:15:58,430 --> 01:15:59,263
Larry.
1410
01:15:59,347 --> 01:16:02,015
- The Bible specifically says-
- Don't you quote scripture to me, Bob!
1411
01:16:02,100 --> 01:16:02,933
Do not do it!
1412
01:16:03,017 --> 01:16:04,727
I go back to what the Apostle Paul-
1413
01:16:04,811 --> 01:16:08,188
The Apostle Paul was not sent to Wichita
to hawk-
1414
01:16:08,273 --> 01:16:09,982
[shouting over each other]
1415
01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:11,942
Larry! Larry!
1416
01:16:12,026 --> 01:16:13,110
Larry!
1417
01:16:13,903 --> 01:16:14,903
Larry!
1418
01:16:14,988 --> 01:16:16,405
[grunting]
1419
01:16:17,699 --> 01:16:19,575
Larry. Larry!
1420
01:16:26,958 --> 01:16:28,417
With or without the account,
1421
01:16:29,878 --> 01:16:30,878
we'll live.
1422
01:16:33,882 --> 01:16:34,882
Come on.
1423
01:16:39,429 --> 01:16:40,429
I'm sorry.
1424
01:16:47,312 --> 01:16:48,312
[Larry] Yes.
1425
01:16:50,023 --> 01:16:51,064
We'll live.
1426
01:16:52,442 --> 01:16:53,442
[Phil] We'Il live.
1427
01:16:54,861 --> 01:16:56,153
I believe I just said that.
1428
01:17:19,886 --> 01:17:22,638
I'm suddenly very conscious
of the lateness of things.
1429
01:17:31,689 --> 01:17:34,024
What time do you want to get together
in the morning?
1430
01:17:36,110 --> 01:17:37,820
[sighs]
1431
01:17:39,280 --> 01:17:41,198
It does- Doesn't matter.
1432
01:17:41,950 --> 01:17:43,158
What time?
1433
01:17:45,787 --> 01:17:46,787
7:30.
1434
01:17:46,871 --> 01:17:48,247
Make it 8:00.
1435
01:17:51,167 --> 01:17:52,167
Fine, 8:00.
1436
01:17:56,631 --> 01:17:58,090
Forgive me, Bob, for...
1437
01:17:59,342 --> 01:18:01,051
behaving as though I were your father,
1438
01:18:02,762 --> 01:18:04,930
of trying to give you
a little something of...
1439
01:18:08,309 --> 01:18:09,309
what I am.
1440
01:18:14,816 --> 01:18:15,816
It's all right.
1441
01:18:23,825 --> 01:18:24,825
[Phil] Larry.
1442
01:18:28,621 --> 01:18:29,621
Good night.
1443
01:18:33,209 --> 01:18:34,209
[door closes]
1444
01:19:13,583 --> 01:19:15,208
There's somethin' I wanna say to you.
1445
01:19:20,715 --> 01:19:22,841
and I want you to listen very closely,
1446
01:19:25,637 --> 01:19:27,471
because it's very important.
1447
01:19:31,809 --> 01:19:34,061
The man we just chased from here-
1448
01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:36,480
We didn't chase anybody.
1449
01:19:36,564 --> 01:19:39,608
The man who just left the room
1450
01:19:40,610 --> 01:19:42,235
a moment ago
1451
01:19:43,905 --> 01:19:45,405
is a very good friend of mine.
1452
01:19:46,741 --> 01:19:49,409
Is it because I've known him
for a long time?
1453
01:19:50,411 --> 01:19:52,371
Well, there are a lot of people
1454
01:19:53,039 --> 01:19:55,165
who I've known for quite a while.
1455
01:19:55,917 --> 01:19:58,752
and some of them
I wouldn't let wipe my dog's ass.
1456
01:19:59,671 --> 01:20:03,173
Others, I can take or leave.
They don't matter to me.
1457
01:20:04,676 --> 01:20:06,969
But Larry matters very much,
1458
01:20:08,096 --> 01:20:09,179
the reason being
1459
01:20:10,390 --> 01:20:11,556
I can trust him.
1460
01:20:12,475 --> 01:20:13,976
I know I can trust him.
1461
01:20:16,020 --> 01:20:16,937
He's honest.
1462
01:20:17,939 --> 01:20:19,272
Is he honest
1463
01:20:20,066 --> 01:20:21,316
or is he just blunt?
1464
01:20:23,486 --> 01:20:26,238
He's honest, Bob.
1465
01:20:27,532 --> 01:20:29,116
He's blunt as well.
1466
01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:31,493
That sometimes is part of being honest,
1467
01:20:33,204 --> 01:20:37,791
Because there are a lot of people
who are blunt, but not honest.
1468
01:20:37,875 --> 01:20:39,501
Larry is not one of those.
1469
01:20:40,837 --> 01:20:42,462
Larry is an honest man.
1470
01:20:48,052 --> 01:20:50,804
You, too, are an honest man, Bob.
1471
01:20:50,888 --> 01:20:52,055
I believe that-
1472
01:20:52,140 --> 01:20:55,142
That somewhere down deep inside of you
1473
01:20:55,226 --> 01:20:57,894
is something that strives to be honest.
1474
01:20:58,646 --> 01:21:01,398
The question that you have to ask yourself
1475
01:21:02,650 --> 01:21:06,069
is, "Has it touched the whole of my life?"
1476
01:21:07,363 --> 01:21:08,739
What does that mean?
1477
01:21:09,532 --> 01:21:11,742
That means that you preaching Jesus
1478
01:21:11,826 --> 01:21:16,329
is no different than Larry
or anybody else preaching lubricants.
1479
01:21:16,414 --> 01:21:21,626
It doesn't matter whether you're selling
Jesus or Buddha or civil rights
1480
01:21:21,711 --> 01:21:24,796
or how to make money in real estate
with no money down.
1481
01:21:26,716 --> 01:21:28,425
That doesn't make you a human being.
1482
01:21:29,385 --> 01:21:31,011
It makes you a marketing rep.
1483
01:21:31,679 --> 01:21:34,097
If you wanna talk to somebody honestly,
1484
01:21:35,016 --> 01:21:36,224
as a human being,
1485
01:21:38,269 --> 01:21:39,603
ask him about his kids.
1486
01:21:41,230 --> 01:21:44,357
Find out what his dreams are,
just to find out.
1487
01:21:45,068 --> 01:21:46,109
For no other reason.
1488
01:21:46,194 --> 01:21:49,154
because as soon as
you lay your hands on a conversation,
1489
01:21:50,156 --> 01:21:51,073
to steer it,
1490
01:21:52,450 --> 01:21:54,034
it's not a conversation anymore.
1491
01:21:54,577 --> 01:21:57,037
It's a pitch,
and you're not a human being.
1492
01:21:57,830 --> 01:21:59,206
You're a marketing rep.
1493
01:22:01,876 --> 01:22:04,127
[sniffles] Forgive me
if I respectfully disagree.
1494
01:22:05,379 --> 01:22:08,882
We were talking before about... character.
1495
01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:11,551
You were asking me about character.
1496
01:22:12,136 --> 01:22:14,346
And we were speaking of faces.
1497
01:22:14,430 --> 01:22:16,681
But the question is much deeper than that.
1498
01:22:18,851 --> 01:22:19,851
The question is,
1499
01:22:20,937 --> 01:22:23,396
"Do you have any character at all?"
1500
01:22:24,565 --> 01:22:28,276
And if you want my honest opinion, Bob,
you do not,
1501
01:22:29,112 --> 01:22:30,612
for the simple reason
1502
01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:34,699
that you don't regret anything yet.
1503
01:22:35,910 --> 01:22:37,953
You're saying I won't have any character
1504
01:22:39,789 --> 01:22:41,456
unless I do something I regret?
1505
01:22:42,583 --> 01:22:43,583
No, Bob.
1506
01:22:45,128 --> 01:22:47,796
I'm saying you've already done
plenty of things to regret.
1507
01:22:49,590 --> 01:22:51,091
You just don't know what they are.
1508
01:22:54,637 --> 01:22:55,929
It's when you discover them,
1509
01:22:58,724 --> 01:23:01,226
when you see the folly
in something you've done
1510
01:23:02,478 --> 01:23:03,687
and you wish...
1511
01:23:04,355 --> 01:23:05,856
that you had it to do over,
1512
01:23:07,650 --> 01:23:08,900
but you know you can't,
1513
01:23:10,653 --> 01:23:11,695
'cause it's too late.
1514
01:23:16,701 --> 01:23:19,286
So you pick that thing up
and you carry it with you
1515
01:23:20,496 --> 01:23:22,873
to remind you that life goes on.
1516
01:23:23,499 --> 01:23:25,292
The world will spin without you.
1517
01:23:27,295 --> 01:23:28,795
You really don't matter in the end.
1518
01:23:32,133 --> 01:23:34,301
Then you will attain character.
1519
01:23:36,095 --> 01:23:38,680
Because... honesty
1520
01:23:40,224 --> 01:23:42,100
will reach out from inside
1521
01:23:45,730 --> 01:23:48,190
and tattoo itself all across your face.
1522
01:23:50,985 --> 01:23:52,068
Until that day,
1523
01:23:54,739 --> 01:23:55,739
however,
1524
01:24:00,036 --> 01:24:02,787
you cannot expect to go
beyond a certain point.
1525
01:24:09,212 --> 01:24:11,379
[sighs] May I go now?
1526
01:24:13,257 --> 01:24:14,257
Go ahead.
1527
01:24:17,553 --> 01:24:18,470
Thank you.
1528
01:24:24,936 --> 01:24:28,063
[sighs] Hmm. Hmm.
1529
01:24:50,753 --> 01:24:51,753
Good night.
1530
01:25:06,477 --> 01:25:08,770
[phone rings]
1531
01:25:11,607 --> 01:25:13,608
[ringing continues]
1532
01:25:18,906 --> 01:25:19,906
Hello?
1533
01:25:23,619 --> 01:25:25,412
No, you just missed him.
1534
01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:30,625
What's that?
1535
01:25:37,300 --> 01:25:38,300
I love you too.
1536
01:25:43,347 --> 01:25:44,347
Yeah.
1537
01:25:56,068 --> 01:25:59,070
[Baz Luhrmann recites over music]
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
1538
01:25:59,155 --> 01:26:00,405
Oh, never mind.
1539
01:26:00,489 --> 01:26:04,659
You will not understand the power and
beauty of your youth until they've faded.
1540
01:26:05,244 --> 01:26:09,497
But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back
at photos of yourself
1541
01:26:09,582 --> 01:26:12,334
and recall in a way you can't grasp now.
1542
01:26:12,418 --> 01:26:14,794
How much possibility lay before you
1543
01:26:14,879 --> 01:26:16,963
and how fabulous you really looked.
1544
01:26:17,298 --> 01:26:20,592
You are not as fat as you imagine.
1545
01:26:23,429 --> 01:26:25,138
Don't worry about the future,
1546
01:26:25,222 --> 01:26:27,849
or worry, but know that worrying
1547
01:26:27,933 --> 01:26:31,019
is as effective as trying to solve
an algebra equation
1548
01:26:31,103 --> 01:26:32,562
by chewing bubble gum.
1549
01:26:33,564 --> 01:26:35,065
The real troubles in your life
1550
01:26:35,149 --> 01:26:38,443
are apt to be things
that never crossed your worried mind,
1551
01:26:38,527 --> 01:26:43,156
The kind that blindsides you at 4:00 p. m.
on some idle Tuesday.
1552
01:26:43,574 --> 01:26:47,118
Do one thing every day that scares you.
1553
01:26:47,787 --> 01:26:48,787
Sing.
1554
01:26:48,871 --> 01:26:51,539
Don't be reckless
with other people's hearts.
1555
01:26:51,624 --> 01:26:54,834
Don't put up with people
who are reckless with yours.
1556
01:26:55,836 --> 01:26:56,836
Floss.
1557
01:26:57,213 --> 01:26:59,255
Don't waste your time on jealousy.
1558
01:26:59,632 --> 01:27:00,840
Sometimes you're ahead,
1559
01:27:01,509 --> 01:27:02,967
sometimes you're behind.
1560
01:27:03,969 --> 01:27:06,179
The race is long, and in the end,
1561
01:27:06,263 --> 01:27:07,847
it's only with yourself.
1562
01:27:10,267 --> 01:27:11,976
Remember compliments you receive.
1563
01:27:12,686 --> 01:27:14,270
Forget the insults.
1564
01:27:14,980 --> 01:27:17,941
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
1565
01:27:18,275 --> 01:27:19,692
Keep your old love letters.
1566
01:27:20,194 --> 01:27:21,945
Throw away your old bank statements.
1567
01:27:24,824 --> 01:27:25,824
Stretch.
1568
01:27:26,158 --> 01:27:29,369
Don't feel guilty if you don't know
what you want to do with your life.
1569
01:27:29,453 --> 01:27:32,622
The most interesting people
I know didn't know at 22
1570
01:27:32,706 --> 01:27:34,624
what they wanted to do with their lives.
1571
01:27:34,708 --> 01:27:37,794
Some of the most interesting
40-year-olds I know still don't.
1572
01:27:39,255 --> 01:27:40,588
Get plenty of calcium.
1573
01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:45,343
Be kind to your knees.
You'll miss them when they're gone.
1574
01:27:46,429 --> 01:27:48,555
Maybe you'll marry. Maybe you won't.
1575
01:27:49,098 --> 01:27:51,266
Maybe you'll have children.
Maybe you won't.
1576
01:27:51,725 --> 01:27:53,268
Maybe you'll divorce at 40.
1577
01:27:53,686 --> 01:27:57,522
Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken
on your 75th wedding anniversary.
1578
01:27:57,815 --> 01:28:01,109
Whatever you do,
don't congratulate yourself too much
1579
01:28:01,193 --> 01:28:02,819
or berate yourself either.
1580
01:28:02,903 --> 01:28:05,363
Your choices are half chance.
1581
01:28:05,448 --> 01:28:07,365
So are everybody else's.
1582
01:28:08,367 --> 01:28:11,911
Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can.
1583
01:28:11,996 --> 01:28:14,831
Don't be afraid of it
or what other people think of it.
1584
01:28:14,915 --> 01:28:17,500
It's the greatest instrument
you'll ever own.
1585
01:28:17,918 --> 01:28:18,835
Dance,
1586
01:28:19,420 --> 01:28:22,422
even if you have nowhere to do it
but in your own living room.
1587
01:28:22,506 --> 01:28:25,091
Read the directions
even if you don't follow them.
1588
01:28:25,176 --> 01:28:27,594
Do not read beauty magazines.
1589
01:28:27,678 --> 01:28:29,888
They will only make you feel ugly.
1590
01:28:36,937 --> 01:28:38,646
Get to know your parents.
1591
01:28:39,482 --> 01:28:41,483
You never know
when they'll be gone for good.
1592
01:28:42,109 --> 01:28:43,359
Be nice to your siblings.
1593
01:28:44,111 --> 01:28:46,946
They're your best link to your past
and the people most likely
1594
01:28:47,031 --> 01:28:48,781
to stick with you in the future.
1595
01:28:52,620 --> 01:28:54,954
Understand that friends come and go,
1596
01:28:55,289 --> 01:28:57,665
but with the precious few
you should hold on.
1597
01:28:58,250 --> 01:29:01,794
Work hard to bridge the gaps
in geography and lifestyle,
1598
01:29:02,171 --> 01:29:03,505
for as the older you get,
1599
01:29:04,256 --> 01:29:07,383
the more you need the people you knew
when you were young.
1600
01:29:09,678 --> 01:29:13,431
Live in Mew York City once,
but leave before it makes you hard.
1601
01:29:14,183 --> 01:29:15,808
Live in Morthern California once,
1602
01:29:15,893 --> 01:29:18,770
but leave before it makes you soft.
1603
01:29:19,188 --> 01:29:20,188
Travel.
1604
01:29:21,482 --> 01:29:23,483
Don't mess too much with your hair
1605
01:29:23,567 --> 01:29:26,611
or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
1606
01:29:28,364 --> 01:29:30,782
Be careful whose advice you buy,
1607
01:29:31,158 --> 01:29:33,743
but be patient with those who supply it.
1608
01:29:34,328 --> 01:29:37,080
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
1609
01:29:37,540 --> 01:29:41,417
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
from the disposal,
1610
01:29:41,502 --> 01:29:44,504
wiping it off,
painting over the ugly parts.
1611
01:29:45,005 --> 01:29:47,632
and recycling it for more than it's worth.
1612
01:29:49,260 --> 01:29:51,803
But trust me on the sunscreen.
1613
01:29:51,887 --> 01:29:55,265
[vinyl skipping]
1614
01:29:57,851 --> 01:30:00,895
[rock song starts playing]
126870
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