Original subtitles

[Theme - Jack Jones, "love boat"]

Theme song: Love, exciting and new.

Come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest reward, let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will be making another run.

The love boat promises something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard.

It's love.

[Theme music]

You know, this is our sixth Thanksgiving together?

Ah, see how time flies when you're having fun?

[Laughter]

I think we're pretty lucky.

Six years ago, we were thrown together completely by chance.

And not only did we get along, but here

we are, the best of friends.

Well said, Adam.

I think, as a group, we have a great deal to be thankful for.

I'll second that.

Do you remember the first day we all met?

I sure do.

Oh, I remember that.

You know, I could not believe that you

were the ship's doctor.

Too young, huh?

Oh, no.

It's just when you see a grown guy in a sailor suit

chasing a big buxom blonde on a passageway,

the word "doctor" is not what comes immediately to mind.

[Laughter]

You know, gopher, i'm getting a little tired

of your woman-chasing jokes.

It's no joke.

Honestly, I saw you chasing this woman down a passageway.

And, doc, I got to tell you, she did not look sick.

[Laughter] - You know what's sick, gopher?

What?

You're sick.

What did I say?

[Laughter]

This is a funny way to start our Thanksgiving.

[Theme music]

Excuse me, when do we get to puerto vallarto?

That's puerto vallarta.

[Laughter]

Hello, I'm Roger Lewis.

And this is bj.

Well, how do you do, bj, Mr. Lewis.

Hi.

I'm captain stubing.

And this is my daughter Vicki.

Hi, how do you do?

How do you do?

Hi, bj.

How do you do?

But when we do get to puerto--

vallarta.

Bj: When we do get there, me and my dad

are going to open up a restaurant, bj's cafe.

As you can see, I'll be back in the kitchen.

And bj will be doing all the talking.

[Laughter]

But I'll be making the best barbecue sauce in the world,

my mom's secret recipe.

Oh, is your mom going to meet you in puerto vallarta?

Um, we lost my wife in an auto accident a year ago.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Captain stubing: Well, you two look like a winning team to me.

We look forward to dining at bj's cafe.

You better make your reservations ahead of time

if you want a good table.

We know the boss.

[Laughter]

See, you're on the aloha deck.

You can go right through that.

But it's nice having you with us for our Thanksgiving cruise.

- Ok. - Bye.

[Theme music]

Dad, come on, let's check out our cabin.

Bj, are you sure you want to go through with this?

Positive.

But maybe we should've taken a plane to get away faster.

I know.

But I was afraid bill would be checking the airport.

I just hope I'm doing the right thing.

You are, dad.

You are.

You're right.

Come on, let's get so far away bill

burgess will never find us.

Hi, I'm Elaine Hamilton.

Hello, welcome aboard our Thanksgiving cruise.

I'm Julie McCoy, your cruise director.

Have my parents checked in yet, buck and Hanna Hamilton?

Well, I'll see.

No, they haven't arrived yet.

But when they do arrive, they're in cabin 113

on the promenade deck.

Thanks.

I hope their plane isn't late.

They're flying in from Denver.

No, I think they'll be here.

I had a vision.

- A vision? - Mm-hmm.

I had a vision of those two people's eyes

lighting up the minute they saw you.

There's my little girl.

Oh, mom, dad, oh.

Oh, Elaine, my darling.

Oh, I'm so glad you're both here.

Well, it's not every day that we

get to meet our only daughter's only fiance.

Where is that fellow, anyhow?

Oh, Arthur had to finish grading some exam papers.

He should be along shortly.

Oh, I can't wait to meet him.

Is he really as handsome as his pictures?

Well, mom, dad, there's something I want to tell

you before you meet Arthur.

It's just that--

Hanna: I know, dear.

He's not like any other man you ever met.

[Laughter]

Oh, that's right, mom. But--

buck: Oh, don't worry, honey.

If he's half as nice as your old man, he's good enough for me.

- Buck. - [Laughter]

Buck: Besides, now, I'll have somebody

to give me some competition at the tennis court.

Come on, hotshot, let's get settled.

All right.

I'm going to wait for Arthur.

I'll join you shortly.

All right.

Has that young fellow realized how lucky he is?

[Exhales]

[Cruise horn]

[Theme music]

Did Elaine seem a little nervous to you

when we came aboard?

Well, it's only natural to be nervous when you're introducing

your fiance to your parents.

Remember what my father put you through?

Remember?

How could I forget?

We were married three months before I

knew he was kidding about "no hanky-panky

with his little girl."

[Laughter]

Hanna: Bad luck, hurting himself just before his vacation.

Mom, dad, I'd like you to meet Arthur.

Oh, I'm so pleased to meet you.

Arthur, sure pleasure to meet you.

Now, don't get up, son.

What a shame.

What happened?

I-- I had a skateboard accident.

Hey, you're getting a little old for that, aren't you?

Yeah, well, it happened when I was 15.

[Somber music]

Why don't I get a round of Tequila sunrises.

Oh, no, Mr. Hamilton, please, let me.

Hanna: No, no, no, no.

You-- you sit.

I mean, you stay.

I mean, uh--

Arthur: It's no trouble really, Mrs. Hamilton.

Excuse me, could we get four Tequila sunrises, please,

when you get the chance?

Sure, I think that can be arranged, yeah.

So how's your trip from Denver?

I'm sorry?

Your trip from Denver?

Oh.

Long.

I just get crazy sitting in the little seats for two hours.

It's--

[clears throat]

I almost didn't make the ship myself.

Couldn't find a parking place.

Parking place?

You drove to the ship?

Yeah.

Yeah, I have a four Wheeler.

I wanted to take it up the ramp, because it was so steep,

but they wouldn't--

a little joke there.

It's very little, obviously.

Well, why don't-- why don't I check on those--

those drinks.

They never put enough Tequila in them.

Excuse me.

Let me help you.

Excuse us, please.

Why didn't she tell us about him before he got here?

It's probably not easy for her to talk about.

Well, if it's not easy for her to talk about,

it certainly won't be easy for her to live with.

Elaine, I can't believe you didn't tell them.

Arthur, please, don't be angry.

You just don't know my parents.

This is all new to them.

The closest they've ever been to anyone in a wheelchair

is an "Ironside" rerun.

But, honey, I'm used to people's first reactions.

Poor cripple.

I had to get over that a long time ago.

I just want them to get over it too.

Honey, I tried to tell them.

But I just couldn't find the right words.

They're only three words, "he's a paraplegic."

Arthur, there are three other words, "I love you."

[Music playing]

Get off, you little monster.

[Inaudible]

Oh, captain.

Yes.

When do you think we'll be getting to puerto vallarta?

That is our next stop, isn't it?

Well, no.

We stop at Ensenada first.

Why do we have to stop there?

It's just a silly habit the captain got into.

[Laughter]

Oh, by the way, Mr. Lewis, bj, this is

our ship's doctor Adam bricker. - Hello.

- How do you do? - How are you?

Hi. - Hi, nice to meet you.

You'll have to excuse bj.

He's really anxious to get to puerto vallarta

and open our restaurant.

I understand.

Bringing up a child by myself, i'm

beginning to understand a lot of things

I never understood before.

Yes.

Well, enjoy yourself.

We will.

All right.

Bye.

Dad, I thought it was our next stop.

Don't worry, bj.

We're going to get there ok.

I promise you.

I hope so.

I always feel safe when I'm with you.

Oh, yeah?

I'm gonna get you now.

No, you're not.

Hi, Isaac.

Hi, doc.

Bye, Isaac.

Bye, doc.

[Laughter]

I see you and doc haven't buried the hatchet yet, huh?

When he apologizes for calling me sick,

I will consider making up.

[Laughter]

Go for it.

You insulted him first.

Excuse me, I did not insult him.

I told him the truth.

Gopher, we've been friends for about six years, right?

Right.

Isaac: Can I say something to you as a friend?

Maybe doc is a little sensitive about all

those lady-chasing stories.

Even if you are right, it's Thanksgiving.

Now, why don't you be the bigger man

and apologize first before this thing gets out of hand?

No way.

Well, you know, it's like my old grandfather

used to say about friendship.

He used to say, Isaac--

Isaac, why is it that every time there's a problem,

you always come up with one of your

my-old-grandfather-used-to-say stories?

Who was your old grandfather?

Sigmund Freud? [Laughter]

No.

He was just an average, everyday kind

of a guy with a whole lot of common sense, which

you don't have this much of.

Oh, is that so?

Well, thank you this much, friend.

You're welcome this much, ex-friend.

[Laughter]

[Theme music]

Julie (on speaker): Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Ensenada.

Boarding of southbound passengers

will begin in approximately 15 minutes.

While you're here, enjoy a moonlight

stroll to one of Ensenada's many fine restaurants.

Or, for your convenience, join us for a late-sitting dinner

in the coral dining room.

We sail at 11 o'clock.

Well, there it is.

Mexico.

How do you like it so far?

Bj: Looks great.

Dad?

Hmm?

Do they have little league in Mexico?

Sure.

Only problem is little league bullfighting.

[Laughter]

Just kidding.

Uh-oh.

Uh, hi, excuse me.

I'm looking for a Roger Lewis and a kid named bj.

Gopher: Oh, gee, I don't know what

their cabin number is offhand.

But if you go into the purser's lobby,

I'm sure they'll give it to you.

Thanks, mm-hm.

Well, listen, hey, if you want me to page them,

I can do that and tell them you're here, mister--

burgess. Bill burgess.

No, thanks.

I wanted it to be a surprise.

Ok, have a nice evening.

Thanks.

It's a surprise all right.

Come on.

[Knocking]

Come in.

[Gasping] Elaine, you look beautiful.

Of course she does.

She takes after you.

Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Arthur.

Well, it might have made the introductions

a bit [clears throat] smoother.

Well, he looks like a very nice guy.

Dad, he's so positive about everything, just like you.

Elaine, look, you and Arthur together--

Elaine, you join Arthur.

We'll meet you in the dining room.

Well, don't be long.

We'll have a big dinner to celebrate.

Celebrate what?

- What are we going to do? - Don't worry.

I'll think of something.

Oh, doc.

Hi, you two headed for dinner?

The dining room--

oh, well, no.

In fact, bj hasn't been feeling well, have you bj?

Oh, yeah.

[Laughter]

Oh, I mean, no.

My stomach hurts.

Well, I'll have a look at you.

Come on inside.

[Laughter]

Right this way, bj.

Come on.

That's it.

Hop right up here.

Perfect.

Almost ready.

Well, don't feel warm.

Now, what kind of pains are they, bj?

Dull or sharp?

Dull and sharp, ugh.

Dr. Bricker: I see.

And when did they start?

I don't know.

But they're getting worse.

What do you think it is, doctor?

Well, I don't know.

All right, take off your jacket and your shirt,

and I'll have a look at you.

Maybe you should keep him here anyway, doctor, just in case.

I'll stay with him.

[Theme music]

Have doc and gopher ironed things out yet?

Are you kidding?

Gopher's too stupid to apologize to anyone.

Now, Isaac, don't tell me that you

and gopher have had words too.

No, as usual, gopher's had them all.

Hey, Isaac, what do you hear from your grandfather?

[Laughter]

Isaac.

Isaac, please, we've already got one argument to straighten out.

[Laughter]

Now, here's what I think you should do.

Isaac: Hold it, Julie.

Don't start with that mommy routine of yours, ok.

What's that supposed to mean?

Isaac: Nothing.

It's just that any time any of us

have any kind of disagreement at all,

you step in with that great big smile of yours

and start talking to us as if we're two years old.

Well, when people behave like two-year-olds,

that's the way I treat them.

Fine.

Save it for the passengers.

Ok, mommy?

[Laughter]

Hey, Isaac--

[grunting]

[Laughter]

Hi, Julie.

Oh!

[Laughter]

[Spraying]

[Laughter]

Evening, sir.

Evening.

I hope this is good.

I am starving.

Well, don't hold back.

Food comes with the job.

[Laughter]

Good evening.

Evening.

Nice dining with you, sir.

You just started.

[Laughing]

Believe me, sir.

I've had quite enough for one evening.

Gopher, will you talk to--

Adam, will you do something?

Merrill, please.

I'm sorry I'm late.

But I was in my examining room with bj.

Well.

Nothing serious, is it?

No, as a matter of fact, I can't

find anything wrong with him.

But his father asked me to let him rest

in my waiting room for a while.

Maybe they're just playing it safe.

Dr. Bricker: Maybe.

But safe from what?

Mm.

Not bad, not bad.

Well, I thought you'd enjoy the wine, Mr. Hamilton.

It's a chardonnay I discovered last summer in France.

You've been to France?

Do you travel a lot?

Well, not as much as I'd like to.

Well, I guess it must be pretty hard for you.

Arthur: Yeah, you better believe it.

On a teacher's salary, it's difficult.

But I feel travel is a necessary luxury.

It opens new paths to the soul.

[Exhaling] That's very poetic.

What do you expect from the world's

greatest English teacher?

Arthur: No, I'm only poetic when a certain chemistry teacher's

chemistry is working on me.

[Theme music]

[Party music]

- Excuse me. - Yes.

- Are you the captain? - Yes, good evening.

What can I do for you? - Good evening.

Hi, I'm bill burgess.

I'm looking for a Mr. Roger Lewis and a boy named bj.

Oh, yes.

Are they still in your office, doctor?

Yes.

Doctor?

Is bj sick? - Why?

Are you a friend of theirs? - I'm more than a friend.

I'm the boy's father.

Father?

I thought Mr. Lewis was his father.

I have the feeling I understand the reason

for the boy's stomach ache.

Well, what do you hear?

Nothing.

Hope the problem's in your ears.

[Laughter]

[Phone ringing]

I'll get it, dad.

No, no, no, don't.

You don't anyone to know we're here.

[Phone ringing]

No answer.

I'd feel better if I checked it out now.

I better go with you.

Don't worry, bj.

When we get to puerto vallarta, we'll leave the ship.

And then we'll be safe.

Hey, dad, why don't we sneak off the ship now in Ensenada?

This is still Mexico, right?

Right.

And the sooner we get out of here, the better.

Let's go.

Hello, son.

I've come to take you home.

[Theme music]

Roger: He's not going anywhere.

He's staying right here.

Bj is my son.

And I'm here to take him home with me.

I don't want to go.

Where were you when your son needed a father?

Gentlemen.

Yeah, you left me when I was a baby.

Well, I'm here now.

And I'm your father.

But I raised him.

You haven't seen him five times in the last 10 years.

Gentlemen, please.

All this arguing won't accomplish anything.

Whether bj returns to his father or stays

with the man who raised him is the decision for the courts

to make.

Bill: I'm glad to hear you say that,

captain, because the courts already have decided.

I have a court order here awarding

me legal custody of bill Jr.

Mr. Lewis, I think you should see this.

I know about that, captain.

But it takes more than a piece of paper

to make somebody a parent.

I'm afraid I can't allow bj to disembark with you in Mexico.

Technically, it might be considered kidnapping.

Kidnapping?

I've taken care of bj since he was in a playpen.

Yeah, if he hadn't married my mom, I never would have

had a father.

I'm sorry, bj, Mr. Lewis, a court order is a court order.

I won't go.

Come on now, bj.

No, daddy, don't let him take me.

I know how hard this is for you.

Here we go.

Come on, we'll talk it over.

Dad, don't.

Dad, help. - Captain.

Dad, don't let him take me.

Dad, dad, dad, no.

Bj.

I'm afraid my hands are tied.

I wish there was something we could do.

There isn't.

[Theme music]

Julie (on speaker): Ladies and gentlemen,

we have weighed anchor and are sailing

from Ensenada to our next port of call, puerto vallarta.

Mr. Hamilton.

I hope you don't mind.

The door was unlocked.

No, that's not true.

The fact of the matter is, I told

the steward this was my cabin.

And he-- he let me in.

Well, why not?

We're almost family, right?

Arthur, I want to talk seriously about Elaine

and about Elaine's future.

Hm, well, as Elaine's future husband,

I suppose that also includes me, right?

Yes, well, you see, Elaine is my only child.

She's my baby.

And I've always wanted the best of everything for her.

So far, we agree totally.

And our family's always had a great love for the outdoors,

particularly Elaine.

I mean, swimming, horseback riding,

skiing, mountain climbing, everything, physical fitness.

Yeah.

What kind of life could you two possibly have together?

Well, I think we could have a good life together.

And with your blessing, we could have a great one.

You're a very fine young man.

I know you've-- you've lived through a great deal.

As I said before, as far as Elaine goes,

I've always wanted--

--the best.

Arthur, you're handicapped.

No, you're handicapped by the way you think.

I'm just trying to do what's best for Elaine.

Well, So am I.

No, don't think of now.

Don't think of the present.

Think of 10 years from now, 20 years from now.

Do you really think it's fair of you

to expect Elaine to play nursemaid

for the rest of her life?

I'm sorry.

I didn't say that well.

I didn't mean to be so blunt.

But, please, think of what I've said.

You know, it's not as if I've never thought of it before.

I've thought about it many times before.

Please, think about it again.

You're a very fine young man.

And I know you'll do what's best for Elaine, for everybody.

[Theme music]

Hey, come on, kiddo, load up.

Party's free.

I'm not hungry.

If you're going to actually pass up all of these goodies,

you're not bill burgess, Jr.

That's right, I'm not bill burgess, Jr. I'm bj.

Bj.

Look, son, I know you're mad at me

because I've changed your plans.

But I'm your father.

And I'm doing what's best for you.

You mean like you did when you ran out on mom and me?

I didn't run out on you.

Your mother and I weren't getting along,

and so we both agreed it was time for me to leave.

Well, what about me?

You hardly ever came to see me.

I knew your mother would take good care of you.

Ok, I know I haven't been a very good father.

But with your mother gone, why don't you

give your old man a chance to make it up to you, huh?

Come on, bj, give me a break.

We'll have fun.

I'll take you to ballgames.

We'll go fishing.

I hate that stuff.

Well, what if I teach you how to play trumpet, like I do?

I hate music.

Well, what do you like?

Roger.

I like Roger.

[Somber music]

Oh, hi there.

Morning, sweetheart.

Aren't you going to breakfast?

Yeah, in a minute.

I just have to finish this chart.

Oh, what kind of a chart is that?

It's a who's still talking to who on the crew chart.

[Laughter]

Let's see, Isaac isn't talking to Julie.

And gopher isn't talking to doc.

I know.

They're all acting ridiculously.

I feel like I'm the captain of the ship of fools.

[Laughter]

Isaac isn't talking to gopher.

And Julie isn't talking to Isaac.

That's enough, Vicki.

Doc isn't talking to gopher.

But he's still talking to Julie and Isaac.

I said, that's enough.

And Isaac is talking to doc.

But he isn't talking to Julie and gopher.

Vicki, enough.

[Somber music]

Vicki.

Not us.

Hey, you call that a kiss?

[Laughter]

Hi.

Oh, good morning, sweetheart.

Did you see that buffet?

If that's just breakfast, can you imagine what Thanksgiving

dinner is going to be like?

Come on.

I'm not very hungry right now.

Is anything wrong?

Elaine, I've got something to tell you.

My gosh, this sounds serious.

If you tell me you've got a wife in acapulco--

look, it's serious.

Elaine, I've come to depend on you a great deal.

I've come to depend on you too.

Yeah, but it's not the same.

I've been doing a lot of thinking on this cruise and i--

maybe we're getting dependence mixed up with love.

It's close enough.

Arthur: But it's not right.

Marriage isn't like that.

That's why I think our getting married would be a big mistake.

A mistake?

How can you say that?

We've been happy.

We're happy right now.

But what about 10 years from now?

We'll be 10 years happier.

Elaine, we just--

we just can't do this.

I'm sorry.

I don't believe this.

Can you honestly tell me you don't love me?

I can't.

Don't you see?

I'm doing this because I love you

and because I want to do what's best for you.

[Somber music]

[Theme music]

Some Thanksgiving this is going to be, huh.

Well, at least it'll be quiet.

Hardly anybody's talking.

[Laughter]

Can't you and gopher smooth things over?

Well, how about you and Isaac?

Hey, I asked you first.

Besides, gopher didn't mean any harm

about you chasing that girl.

Sorry.

It was just being sentimental, remembering

that day we first all met.

Yeah, I remember that day too.

I especially remember you.

Really?

Really, pretty Julie.

You have matured a lot since then.

You mean, I've gotten older.

No, I mean matured, more confident, more in command.

Thank you.

Now, you're a woman.

Then, you were a little girl.

Even your hair was different, remember?

You had those cute little bangs.

It was Fuller on the sides.

They're much darker, brown, in fact.

Don't you like it now?

Yeah, I like this color too.

Maybe it could be a little--

[laughter]

No.

It's nice.

Maybe it could be a little what?

Nothing.

I like it.

Doc, if you have any complaints,

let's hear them, huh.

I don't have any complaints, honest.

If I had any complaints, it would

have been about that brassy color you had once.

I didn't like that.

Brassy.

My hair has never been brassy, doc.

It was blonde.

[Laughter]

Well, brassy blondie then.

And green once.

[Laughter]

Remember that?

[Laughter]

That was a mistake.

[Laughter]

I'm sorry you don't like the color of my hair.

Julie, why wouldn't I like the color of your hair?

I've liked it through four colors already.

[Laughter]

You just go chase some blonde down a passageway, huh.

[Laughter]

[Theme music]

[Knocking]

Dad.

I knew you wouldn't leave me here.

Is bill in there?

No.

Come on, we can make a run for it.

I have to talk to you about something, bj.

We can talk later.

Let's get out of here.

We're not going, bj.

That's what I came to tell you.

Whatever you and I feel, you've got to go

and live with your father.

But you are my father.

No, I'm not.

What kind of a father would sneak

his son out of the country?

No good father would teach his son to break the law.

But don't you love me?

Of course I love you, bj.

I'll always love you.

And I'll come to visit you every chance I get.

Yeah, sure.

That's what bill used to say.

[Somber music]

Dad.

[Somber music]

Bj, I want you to be a good boy and do what bill tells you,

all right?

All right.

Let's go back in there.

Roger, I heard what you said.

How can I thank you?

Just take good care of him.

[Somber music]

[Theme music]

Julie (on speaker): Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to glorious puerto vallarta,

famous for its palm-fringed beaches

and warm tropical breezes.

Have a pleasant stay.

[Theme music]

[Bar music]

Hey, doc, what will it be?

Well, just a cup of coffee and a little conversation, Isaac.

You're the only one still talking to me.

You know what you need, doc, is one

of my Thanksgiving specials.

One part guava juice, one part vodka, and two parts raki.

Raki?

Yeah, that's a foreign drink.

And that's your Thanksgiving special?

Yeah, raki comes from Turkey.

[Laughter]

It comes from Turkey.

Hey.

Hey, doc.

Where's your sense of humor?

It's here, Isaac.

But it only comes out when it hears something funny.

Hey, listen, don't get mad at me

just because you had a fight with gopher.

Listen, if you want some good advice about gopher--

please, Isaac.

Thank you, no advice, ok?

Spare me that.

Ok, consider yourself spared.

All I was going to say is that--

I know what you're going to say.

I should make up with gopher.

And it was all my fault, right?

Look, doc, all i'm going to say is--

you know, you two guys always stick up for each other.

It's like dealing with the bobbsey twins.

Well, excuse me.

[Laughter]

Can I get a cup of coffee, huh?

What do you say?

Sorry, the bar's closed.

[Laughter]

All right.

I'll just get my own coffee.

Good.

And give yourself two aspirin.

And call yourself in the morning,

because you'll be the only one talking to you.

[Laughter]

[Theme music]

Believe me, baby.

It'd be a big mistake.

It's probably the best thing, for you.

Yeah, that's just what Arthur said.

He said he was doing the best thing for me.

Well, uh-- maybe-- maybe he's right.

Then tell me something.

If everyone else knows what's best for me,

why is this the worst day of my life?

I'm tired.

If you'll excuse me, I think I'll say goodnight.

[Somber music]

I've never seen her so upset, not even

when she lost out on that teaching scholarship.

Buck, this time she's losing more than a scholarship.

Well, I know, I know.

She'll find somebody else.

I mean, people can fall in love more than one time

during a lifetime.

Did you?

No.

Buck, tell me something.

If I had been in a wheelchair, would you have married me?

Oh, Hanna.

That's an unfair question.

No, it isn't.

Think about it.

What you have married me?

Yes.

Absolutely.

I wonder if our parents would have approved.

[Somber music]

Hi, goph.

Hi, Julie.

Do you believe the way this Thanksgiving

cruise is turning out?

[Laughter] Yeah, it's beginning to sound

like a bad movie, isn't it?

[Laughter] I think you and I are

the only members of the cruise still talking to each other.

Oh, I think that's because you and I happen to have a very

open and honest relationship.

Based on a mutual respect for each other's feelings.

Right.

I mean, I can say things to you.

And I know you are not going to be offended or get into a snit,

unlike some others that we know.

Exactly.

And I feel the same way about you.

I know that you accept me for what I am.

Well, hey, who am I to criticize you?

Let's face it, I certainly have done some incredibly

immature things in my time.

Well, gopher, don't go putting yourself down.

Personally, I've always thought that one

of your most endearing qualities was your constantly

childlike behavior.

[Troubling music]

[Laughter]

Constantly childlike behavior?

I think that I have also done some incredibly

mature things in my time too.

Don't you agree?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Sure, I do, like that time--

well, like--

[laughter]

Well, Julie, how about the time we

were both on that island, trapped

in a hurricane four years ago?

I'd say I was pretty brave then, wouldn't you?

You were in a coma.

[Laughter]

True.

And thank you for reminding me of that.

I appreciate the bluntness.

You're certainly not a flatterer, Julie.

And I like that.

[Laughter]

Thank you.

It's probably why you're still single.

[Laughter]

I am still single because I choose to be single.

[Laughter]

You are constantly childlike.

And you're constantly single.

[Laughter]

Julie (on speaker): Attention, ladies and gentlemen.

We will be leaving puerto vallarta in 30 minutes.

Gopher (on speaker): 40 minutes.

Julie (on speaker): 30 minutes.

Well, it's getting late.

I'll tell you what, you get two choices.

You can either go to bed now, or you

can have a hot fudge sundae.

I think I'll take the sundae.

That's my boy.

Dad.

Where are you going?

I'm going home, bj.

But you can't go now.

If you're going to live with your father,

you're going to have to start getting used to it.

Please, can't you stay until tomorrow?

I've never had Thanksgiving without you.

Please?

[Somber music]

All right, bj.

Thanks, dad.

You're always there when I need you.

[Theme music]

[Laughter]

All right.

This won't take long.

I've heard an ugly rumor that some of you

are considering not joining the rest of us

for Thanksgiving dinner.

That's right, sir.

[Interposing voices]

If you want to act like a bunch of children,

that's your business.

But running this ship is my business.

And if you like it here, you better make running

this ship your business too.

Am I understood?

Sir.

Captain stubing: Quiet.

We-- and I mean, we, all of us--

have 600 passengers on this ship who

are trying to enjoy themselves.

So get your acts together, all of you.

Put your petty differences aside.

And be at that Thanksgiving table.

In the meantime, I want each and every one of you

to do your work expertly and as you have in the past, happily.

So dismissed.

Captain I really think that we--

I said, dismissed.

[Music playing]

[Laughter]

[Theme music]

[Clapping]

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Lovely.

That some Turkey, eh, dad?

Sure is, son.

Yes, son.

[Laughter]

[Clears throat]

Where's dad?

I don't know.

He said he'd be here.

[Knocking]

Oh, it's open.

Come in.

Oh, hi.

You come to wish me a happy Thanksgiving?

[Sighing] Arthur, there are two things all my friends

know about buck Hamilton.

One, is that I adore my daughter.

The other, is that I hate to apologize.

Both those things bring me here.

Well, Mr. Hamilton, there's no need to apologize,

because you were right.

And as for adoring your daughter,

that not only proves that you're a good father,

but that you have good taste.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, may I sit down?

Please.

Elaine loves you.

Elaine is unhappy.

And when she's unhappy, I am miserable.

Yeah, well, she'll get over it.

That's what I thought.

We're both wrong.

I don't think we were.

I don't think you were wrong when

you told me that it would be a very difficult life for Elaine.

And I think I was right when I told her we shouldn't

go through with the marriage.

Do you really believe that?

Yeah.

You-- you finally showed me that I was telling myself too many

lies.

You know what I think, Arthur?

What's that?

I think you're telling yourself a lot of lies, now.

[Somber music]

[Glass clinking]

When I was a boy, every year at the Thanksgiving table,

my father would ask each person to give a reason, any reason,

why he or she was thankful.

I think we should adopt that this year.

Now, who would like to speak first?

[Clears throat] Captain?

I'd like to say something.

Of course, please.

Thanks.

Uh, this is an extra special Thanksgiving for me,

because it's the first time I spend it with my son bj.

I guess I have a lot to be thankful for,

most of all for Roger Lewis for being

there when I wasn't and for helping

turn bj into such a good kid.

Roger, you know like I do that a boy needs his dad, a dad

he loves and that loves him.

And that's why I've decided that I want

you and bj to stay together.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

I'm thankful, too, because now I have two fathers.

Yeah.

Mother, look.

[Sweet music]

Folks, I know that Christmas is a time for giving gifts.

But I love my little girl so much

that I figured i'd bring her a very

special gift for Thanksgiving.

Sorry, we didn't have time to get me a gift-wrapped.

[Laughter] I like you just the way you are,

in a plain brown wrapper.

[Laughter]

Oh.

Well, would anyone else like to speak?

Sir.

Yes, gopher.

Uh.

Well, I'd like to say that after my father passed away,

my mother came on this cruise.

And, I guess, I was mad at her or something, because i--

I thought she was having too good a time.

And she wasn't mourning him.

And then Isaac made me realize that she

was just putting on a front, because she

didn't want me to feel sad.

And I just want to say that I'm thankful to my friend

Isaac for doing that.

And I'm very thankful to all of you

for the help that you've given me whenever I've needed it

and for being my friends, 24 hours a day.

How about that time you all stood by me when that passenger

wanted to have me fired?

I'll remember that if I lived to be a million years old.

Remember the time my--

my uncle came on the cruise?

And I thought he stole all that money.

And I was really upset.

And all of you stood by me.

Turned out, he didn't.

I was just really grateful for your friendship

and for helping me through that.

Thank you.

And the way you all stood by me

in Australia, who supported me through one

of the unhappiest times in my life.

Thank you.

Oh, doc, remember the time you had me jailed in curacao?

Yeah.

[Laughter]

I'll never forgive you for that.

[Laughter]

Well, doctor, how about showing us a surgical skill

on this Turkey?

We're starved.

Yeah.

Ok.

Doc.

Huh?

Just white meat.

And I'll always be thankful to your father

for coming up with this idea when you were a little boy.

I have a little surprise for you.

It wasn't my father who came up with the idea.

It was your father, about five minutes ago.

[Laughter]

[Chattering]

[Happy music]

A lot of stuffing for me.

[Music playing]

Thanks for sailing with us.

Thank you, Julie.

It's been super all the way.

Oh, good.

I hope you all enjoyed your cruise.

Oh, it's been the best time of my life.

It's been a great trip.

I came aboard with a wife and a daughter.

And I'm leaving with a wife, a daughter, and a son.

Guess where we're going on our honeymoon.

Where?

Mountain climbing.

Well, it's going to be a little difficult

getting up the mountain.

But it's going to be fun coming back down.

[Laughter]

Bye-bye.

I'll get you for that.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Captain.

- Yes. - Guess what.

What?

We're going to open bj's cafe after all, in Los Angeles.

Save me a table opening night.

Save a table for us too.

We want you all there on opening night.

All of you.

I'll be there, bj.

And this time, you can really count on me.

- Well, thank you. - Bye- bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Thanks for sailing with us.

Well, this is one Thanksgiving we'll all remember.

As it was written, "all's well that ends well."

Thanks to gopher.

He sure got the ball rolling.

That took a big man to do what you did, gopher.

Hey, that's my buddy.

Well, let's just call it my Thanksgiving

gift to all of you.

Now, let me tell you what I want for Christmas.

[Laughter]

[Theme music]