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1
00:00:01,292 --> 00:00:03,342
[Music - Jack Jones, "love boat
theme"]
2
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:18,097
(Singing) Love,
exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,184 --> 00:00:26,574
Come aboard, we're
expecting you.
4
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:34,741
And love, life's
sweetest reward.
5
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:42,286
Let it flow, it
flows back to you.
6
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:50,875
The love boat, soon we'll
be making another run.
7
00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:58,807
The love boat, promises
something for everyone.
8
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:11,152
Set a course for adventure, your
mind on a new romance, and love
9
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:15,117
won't hurt anymore.
10
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:22,000
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
11
00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:30,261
It's love welcome
aboard, it's love.
12
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:41,771
[Music playing]
13
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,077
Hello.
14
00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:05,786
Hello.
15
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,125
We are the gerbers of Ohio.
16
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,751
This is our daughter, Gail.
17
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:10,378
Welcome aboard.
18
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:11,513
Hi, nice to meet you.
19
00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:14,299
I'm captain stubing and
this is my daughter, Vicki.
20
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,304
Hi.
21
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:16,005
Hello.
22
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,144
Is this your first cruise?
23
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,180
Yeah.
24
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,723
I hope there's stuff for
kids to do on this ship.
25
00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:20,806
Oh, there's lots to do.
26
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,390
You'll have a great time.
27
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:23,845
You think you
could show me around?
28
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:24,765
Well, sure.
29
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,023
Come on, I'll give
you the grand tour.
30
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:26,734
Can we go?
31
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:27,773
Certainly, dear.
32
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:28,516
Bye.
33
00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:29,436
Bye bye.
34
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,904
Let's see.
35
00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:32,744
We've got ping-poing and movies,
and when we get into port,
36
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,069
we can go ice skating.
37
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,033
Oh, good.
38
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:35,743
Hi, girls.
39
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,702
Hi, goph.
40
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,242
Who's that?
41
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,325
Oh, that's gopher.
42
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,240
He's the assistant purser.
43
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,537
Here, why don't you
read these and i'm
44
00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:47,251
sure you'll find something on
board you're interested in.
45
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,213
Yes.
46
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,254
I'm sure I will, too.
47
00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:50,956
Come on.
48
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:51,915
I want to take you up on deck.
49
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,335
There's some great things to do.
50
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,383
There's a pool and everything.
51
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:02,718
Hi.
52
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,427
I'm Larry winters.
53
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,597
My wife wouldn't have gotten
here before me by any chance,
54
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,556
would she?
55
00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:09,896
No, sir.
56
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,321
She hasn't checked in yet,
but you and Mrs. Winters
57
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:13,359
will be staying
in promenade 336.
58
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,533
Your brochure
described this as being
59
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:18,622
the perfect setting for
romance, to start a new one
60
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,618
or renew an old one.
61
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,079
And we wouldn't lie
about a thing like that.
62
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,159
Well, I guess
I'll wait on deck.
63
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,544
And remember, you're
here to meet your wife.
64
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,002
Better not start a new one.
65
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,751
Yeah.
66
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:31,714
Now, this can't
possibly be my cabin.
67
00:03:31,794 --> 00:03:33,764
I specifically
requested a suite.
68
00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:34,918
Matt, how are you?
69
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,256
It's good to see you again.
70
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:36,721
Hey, it's great
to be back, gopher.
71
00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:37,679
How is the gang?
72
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,799
It's great.
73
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,966
Doc still getting nauseous
at the sight of blood?
74
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,255
Only his own.
75
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,728
Always leave me laughing.
See you later, goph.
76
00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:46,478
You bet.
77
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:46,889
Bye bye.
78
00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:49,096
Oh, mom.
79
00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:50,977
I still can't believe
we're going on a cruise.
80
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,274
This is so fantastic.
81
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:53,517
Oh, I know it, honey.
82
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,988
We are going to have
such a great time.
83
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,699
It couldn't happen
to two nicer people.
84
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:58,149
Hi.
85
00:03:58,237 --> 00:03:59,857
Welcome aboard.
86
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,118
Hello.
87
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,699
I'm Mrs. Heller and this
is my daughter, Beth.
88
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,874
I can't buy that.
89
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,543
Are you sure you kids aren't
running away from home?
90
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,832
Now that's what I
call a real welcome.
91
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:11,827
Besides the long
run from Colorado,
92
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:13,748
we're on the aloha deck.
93
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:15,046
Are we getting warm?
94
00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:17,129
Right through
there to the right.
95
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:18,505
Oh, wait a minute, Mrs. Heller.
96
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:19,221
I just realized.
97
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,430
I have another welcome for you.
98
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,220
Come here.
99
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:25,523
Your name is
practically in lights.
100
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:26,218
Matt's terrific.
101
00:04:26,307 --> 00:04:27,767
Have you ever seen him perform?
102
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,480
Only when he was a magician.
103
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,360
He did a disappearing act.
104
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,228
Well, come on.
105
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:34,694
Let's get settled.
106
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,324
After all these, years he's
still ruining things for us.
107
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,907
Hi, I'm mikki Rafferty.
108
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,371
Hello I'm Julie McCoy,
your cruise director.
109
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:46,541
Let's see.
110
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,329
You're on the aloha deck,
cabin 236, miss Rafferty.
111
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:50,584
Ok.
112
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:53,375
Listen, if you happen to see
any cute single guys on here,
113
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:54,709
just point them out
to me, will you?
114
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:56,054
I'm hoping to start a new one.
115
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:56,839
Pardon me?
116
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,461
A romance.
117
00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,468
Don't you read
your own brochure?
118
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:03,219
Look, start a new one
or renew an old one.
119
00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:06,102
My old ones don't stick around
long enough to get renewed.
120
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,220
Trouble is I only
go for q and d men.
121
00:05:08,307 --> 00:05:11,347
Is that some kind
of rare blood type?
122
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,476
No, no.
123
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,602
It's the grading in
"Cosmopolitan magazine's" love
124
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,898
quiz I took last month,
what's your dating category?
125
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,243
Well, mine's q and d, men
of quality and distinction.
126
00:05:19,318 --> 00:05:22,568
You know, professional
types, like doctors,
127
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,025
lawyers, presidents.
128
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:27,535
We have nothing wrong
with a girl aiming high.
129
00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:31,578
The trouble is q and d guys
generally go for q and d girls,
130
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:34,174
whereas I'm more f and g.
131
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,670
F and g?
132
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,592
Fun and games.
133
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:37,919
Oh.
134
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,594
Well, I'll look around.
135
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:43,093
I'm sure we've got a
few q and d bachelors
136
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,836
somewhere on this ship.
137
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,297
Great.
138
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:49,427
Oh, and if you find two, keep
one for yourself, the uglier
139
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,215
one.
140
00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:56,480
[Ship horn]
141
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,397
[Music playing]
142
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:28,812
Here you go, Mr. Winters.
143
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,058
And if you don't mind me asking,
how come you're not renewing
144
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:35,140
your romance with Mrs. Winters?
145
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,478
She didn't show up, Isaac.
146
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:38,983
Oh, I'm sorry.
147
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,065
I'm sure she had a good reason.
148
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:43,150
Dorothy always
has good reasons.
149
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,316
She's a lawyer, very
successful but very wrapped
150
00:06:46,405 --> 00:06:47,655
up in her career.
151
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:48,950
I told her I'm going
to be on that boat
152
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,993
and if you care anything at
all about saving our marriage,
153
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:54,827
you'll be there, too.
154
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,124
I guess I got my answer.
155
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,498
Hey, mikki, find anybody
you're interested in?
156
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,797
Oh, sure did.
157
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,720
He's a stockbroker, an account
executive, and a pediatrician.
158
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:06,180
Great.
159
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,139
Not so great.
160
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:10,509
The stockbroker's with a
blonde, the account executive's
161
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,176
with a redhead, and the
pediatrician's in his cabin
162
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,346
with the chicken pox.
163
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:18,555
Hey, you're pretty good.
164
00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:22,016
Oh, it's just a knack,
nothing I really worked hard at.
165
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,188
You know it's funny, whenever
I work hard at something,
166
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,107
I usually fail at it.
167
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,565
Well, why don't you
try thinking positive?
168
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:31,076
Maybe then good things will
start to happen for you.
169
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,489
Yeah, could be.
170
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:37,418
Well, I think I'll dive into
the pool and see if I get lucky.
171
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,498
You know, I once saved
a guy from drowning
172
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,174
and ended up with a great
weekend in nantucket.
173
00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,382
Too bad he was only six.
174
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:46,882
See you later.
175
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:47,676
Ok.
176
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:57,102
Jenny?
177
00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:02,568
Hello, Matt.
178
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,278
I can't-- I can't believe it.
179
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,649
You look absolutely beautiful.
180
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:08,777
Let's not get carried away.
181
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,283
Absolutely older, yes,
but absolutely beautiful--
182
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:12,235
I mean it.
183
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:13,735
You just look great.
184
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,486
Matt?
185
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,658
Yeah.
186
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,497
This is Beth.
187
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:23,092
Oh, now I know none
of this is happening.
188
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,419
You're all grown up.
189
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:26,134
Oh, Beth.
190
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:26,884
Excuse me, mother.
191
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,424
My stomach is acting up a bit.
192
00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:28,627
I'll see you back in the cabin.
193
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:35,472
After almost 20 years,
that's the best she can do.
194
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:38,676
Well, she's very
excited about this trip.
195
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,938
She gets a little bit
high-strung sometimes.
196
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,400
That's her nature.
197
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,690
Her nature?
198
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:46,283
And being rude part
of her nature, too?
199
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,989
Give her some time.
200
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:51,449
This has been quite a
surprise for both of us.
201
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,214
This is a great ship.
202
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:01,039
I love it.
203
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:02,293
Well if you'd
like, later on we
204
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,575
can go swimming or something.
205
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:04,588
Good.
206
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:05,999
Over there is where
they play shuffleboard.
207
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,797
And that's where--
208
00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:10,091
hey, look, Vicki.
209
00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:11,934
There's your friend, Mr. Gopher.
210
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,799
Oh, gopher's
just his nickname.
211
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,346
His real name is burrell Smith.
212
00:09:17,431 --> 00:09:19,731
Burrell Smith.
213
00:09:19,809 --> 00:09:21,809
Would you like me
to introduce you?
214
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:22,274
Well yeah, sure.
215
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,443
Great, come on.
216
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:34,815
Hey, goph.
217
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:35,777
Yeah?
218
00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:36,776
You want to be my new friend?
219
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:37,077
Sure.
220
00:09:37,159 --> 00:09:37,829
Hi.
221
00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,500
Hi.
222
00:09:39,578 --> 00:09:41,458
I'm Gail gerber.
- Hi, Gail.
223
00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:42,919
Do you want to play a
game of shuffleboard?
224
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,499
Oh, no thanks.
225
00:09:45,584 --> 00:09:46,844
No, you kids go ahead and play.
226
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,839
I'm looking for a dinner date.
227
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,473
I don't have any dinner plans.
228
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,800
Well, aren't you
eating with your parents?
229
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:55,514
Who?
230
00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:56,854
Oh, them.
231
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:59,179
I'm sure they wouldn't mind if
I had dinner with someone else.
232
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,675
Well, great.
233
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,056
Then you can have dinner with me
and sit at the captain's table.
234
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:06,193
Excuse me.
235
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,982
I don't know what
he sees in her.
236
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:13,696
Well, gopher goes for that
glamorous, sophisticated type.
237
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,909
Huh, really?
238
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:18,701
Yeah, until 3:30.
239
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,294
Then he goes for anything.
240
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:36,338
Hey.
241
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:37,177
Hey, that's mine.
242
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,681
It's not a very good
likeness, is it?
243
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:48,398
Tell me, do I look
as lost as all that?
244
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:51,731
Yeah, but you're cuter.
245
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:52,487
My name's mikki Rafferty.
246
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:56,488
That's mikki, spelled m-i-k-k-i.
247
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:57,662
Very original.
248
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:57,990
Larry winters.
249
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,914
Oh.
250
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:01,333
You an artist?
251
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,200
No, no, no.
252
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:07,167
I'm a dancer, featured weekly
on the unemployment line.
253
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:08,919
What do you do?
254
00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:09,751
Are you a doctor or something?
255
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,665
How about a
corporation lawyer.
256
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:12,804
Is that something?
257
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,220
Yeah, it sure is.
258
00:11:15,299 --> 00:11:18,089
You wouldn't happen to
be alone, would you?
259
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,007
No.
260
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,216
Figures.
261
00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:23,175
How can I be alone
if I'm with you?
262
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:43,914
Honey, you better get dressed
or we'll be late for dinner.
263
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:46,794
Daddy, I'm not really hungry.
264
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,462
I just want to sleep.
265
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,632
Are you feeling ok, Princess?
266
00:11:51,710 --> 00:11:52,340
Fine.
267
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:53,590
I'm just tired.
268
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:57,591
Vicki and I, we played ping-pong
and shuffleboard and went
269
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:58,625
swimming.
270
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,757
I guess you have put
in a pretty full day.
271
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:03,345
Besides, Vicki wants to
get an early start tomorrow.
272
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,681
She has lots of really
neat things planned.
273
00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:06,806
Ok, sweetheart.
274
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:11,652
Well, order some food if
you want and get some rest.
275
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:12,310
Nighty night, daddy.
276
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:14,858
Nighty night.
277
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,822
Don't let the bed bugs bite.
278
00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:56,816
[Music playing]
279
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:02,355
I don't see how you could
sit and talk with him.
280
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,828
What am I supposed to do?
281
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,120
I can't be like you.
282
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,213
You were very rude, Beth.
283
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:10,498
Rude?
284
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,461
Mother, he walked out on us.
285
00:13:12,541 --> 00:13:14,671
He deserted his wife and child.
286
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:17,212
That was a long
time ago, Beth.
287
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,376
Matt and I were very
young, and things
288
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:23,135
happened so fast that we just
couldn't seem to handle it all.
289
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:26,009
So he handled it
by running away.
290
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:30,346
You know, I don't remember
ever saying the word "daddy."
291
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,394
Oh, sweetheart, please.
292
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,227
Don't do this to yourself.
293
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:35,943
It's over.
294
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:39,033
We can't change the past.
295
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,029
I know you'd
like me to sit back
296
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:46,081
and act as if it never happened,
but I can't do that mother.
297
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:50,368
Then at least act a little
less hostile for me, please.
298
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,044
All right, I'll try.
299
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:23,284
Good evening.
300
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,162
Where have you been hiding?
301
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:26,949
Could I have a
table for one, please?
302
00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:29,702
For one?
303
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:31,405
You'll never
believe this, but it
304
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:32,955
appears I, too, am
without a dinner
305
00:14:33,038 --> 00:14:34,958
companion for this evening.
306
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,080
Would you care to join me?
307
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,836
Aren't you sweet.
308
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:38,788
That would divine.
309
00:14:38,877 --> 00:14:40,047
Not at all.
310
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,799
This way.
311
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,130
Fine.
312
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:51,096
Actually, I'd like something
a little more intimate.
313
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,221
Intimate?
314
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,478
More romantic.
315
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,400
Mhm.
316
00:14:57,479 --> 00:15:01,279
I think I see just the
spot right over there.
317
00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:01,978
Perfect, darling.
318
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:07,818
You don't mind if I call
you darling, do you?
319
00:15:07,906 --> 00:15:08,526
No, I don't.
320
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:09,486
I don't mind that at all.
321
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,985
Darling is one of
my favorite movies.
322
00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:12,447
And yours is?
323
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:15,246
Uh, Lillian.
324
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,211
Lillian?
325
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:17,790
Lillian gerber.
326
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:18,995
Gerber.
327
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:19,714
Gerber.
328
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:23,263
Now why do I know that name?
329
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,379
Well, you probably
met my kid sister, Gail.
330
00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,387
That little brat is always
getting into someone's hair.
331
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,299
Vicki's friend.
332
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:31,637
Yes.
333
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,562
I should have noticed
by the family resemblance.
334
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,141
Oh, really?
335
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:39,266
I don't think we
look alike at all.
336
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:40,055
[Laughs]
337
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:44,153
I was out of [inaudible]
before my teabag had dried.
338
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,204
Would you excuse me?
339
00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:50,992
Sure.
340
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,788
Order the trout, so
fresh you have to slap it.
341
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:00,535
Hi.
342
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:01,876
Hi.
343
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:02,710
When I heard all the
laughter, I should have known
344
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,375
that you would be close by.
345
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:08,224
Feeling any better, Beth?
346
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,760
You must know somebody to be
sitting at the captain's table.
347
00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:15,715
What's bothering you, Beth.
348
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,518
Well, she's just--
349
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:17,940
she's just what?
350
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:18,728
Come on, Beth.
351
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,651
What is it?
352
00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,859
Why don't you just go away.
353
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:27,490
Leaving people was
always your style.
354
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:28,199
I'm sorry, mom.
355
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,546
You are a very good dancer.
356
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:53,886
You think so?
357
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,311
I've been turned
down for eight road
358
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,100
companies of a chorus line.
359
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,813
The one that really
hurt was "Chicago."
360
00:16:59,893 --> 00:17:02,523
The choreographer
was my brother.
361
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:04,444
What other talents do you
have that I don't know about?
362
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,573
Well, let's see.
363
00:17:06,650 --> 00:17:09,450
I've been a shoe shine
girl and delivered pizzas
364
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,358
and I was a towel
ringer at a car wash.
365
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:13,447
Have I scared you off yet?
366
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,032
Far from it.
367
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:14,486
Well, you give me time.
368
00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:15,235
I'll get there.
369
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,794
A beautiful girl like you
must have a lot of dates.
370
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,547
No, no, not really.
371
00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:30,168
I mean, most the men I know
are really very mature.
372
00:17:30,257 --> 00:17:31,677
That's a phase I
never went through.
373
00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,556
[Applause]
374
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,977
Here we are.
375
00:17:44,062 --> 00:17:44,982
Thank you.
376
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,400
Hi, gopher.
377
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:50,685
Vicki.
378
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,448
Vicki, have you met
Gail's sister, Lillian?
379
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:53,609
No, hi.
380
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:54,987
Gail didn't tell me
she had a sister.
381
00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:57,413
She's at that age
of denial, darling.
382
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,793
Why don't I get
us some drinks.
383
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,370
Where is Gail, anyway?
384
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:04,416
She was supposed to
meet me for dinner.
385
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,670
She went to sleep
early tonight.
386
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:09,591
But I knocked on the cabin
door and there was no answer.
387
00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:10,551
Oh well, there's your parents.
388
00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:11,631
Why don't I go ask them.
389
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,335
No, no, no.
390
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,505
Don't do that.
391
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,644
You know, Vicki, Gail may have
slipped out for a little while
392
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,352
to have some fun.
393
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:24,312
If she did, we wouldn't want
to get her in any trouble now,
394
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,564
would we?
395
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,476
I guess not.
396
00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,193
Oh, well.
397
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,193
It was nice to meet you.
398
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,534
Excuse me.
399
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,689
Lillian, this
is one of Isaac's
400
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,198
special pacific love potions.
401
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:35,910
Gopher.
402
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:36,819
Mhm?
403
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:39,697
It's so hot in here.
404
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,695
Do you think maybe we
could step outside and get
405
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,408
some fresh air, the moonlight?
406
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:45,208
Sure.
407
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:51,799
Incredible.
408
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,760
These things must work on fumes.
409
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:06,563
Jenny, what is
it about me that
410
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:07,395
makes Beth hate me so much?
411
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:10,149
Oh, it's just the
chemistry, Matt.
412
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:13,282
It can be that way
between some people.
413
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,610
No, Jenny.
414
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,655
We're not test tubes
or experiments.
415
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:18,158
We're just people.
416
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,660
There's got to be
more to it than that.
417
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,872
Does Beth know?
418
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,327
I mean, does she
know everything?
419
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,375
Don't tell me you've
never told her.
420
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,681
Oh my god, Jenny.
421
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:38,139
Why?
422
00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:40,848
I don't know.
423
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:43,769
I was always waiting
for her to be older,
424
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,729
and then when she was older
we had become so close.
425
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:49,231
I didn't want to
risk losing that.
426
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,733
You know we're going
to have to tell her.
427
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,225
No, Matt.
428
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:56,277
After the cruise, Beth
and I will go back home
429
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:57,611
and that will be the end of it.
430
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:58,736
The end of it?
431
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:01,032
Well, what about me?
432
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:02,696
I'm supposed to
just go through life
433
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:03,914
knowing that Beth hates me?
434
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:09,205
I don't think I can handle that.
435
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,001
Promise me, Matt, please.
436
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:12,884
Promise me that
you won't tell her.
437
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:24,809
You know, Lillian,
you have the qualities
438
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,060
that I admire most in a woman.
439
00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:28,772
Me?
440
00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:34,402
You're beautiful, intelligent,
and you're fun to be with.
441
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,363
I guess we have a lot in common.
442
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,567
What time is it?
443
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,157
It's early, I'm sure.
444
00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:43,911
Look.
445
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,372
Oh, it's just about midnight.
446
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,212
Well, I better go.
447
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,171
It's past my bedtime.
448
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:56,301
I mean, I need my beauty sleep.
449
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,300
Good night.
450
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,091
Yeah, but Lillian,
actually, see my watch
451
00:20:59,174 --> 00:20:59,474
is about two minutes fast.
452
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:03,845
Good night.
453
00:21:11,853 --> 00:21:12,653
Hi, guys.
454
00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,359
Hey, goph.
455
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:15,359
Hey, gopher.
456
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:19,530
Hey gopher, what
happened to your date?
457
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:21,911
Well, what didn't happen?
458
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,739
Incredible night.
459
00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:24,204
Really?
460
00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:26,372
Let's have it.
461
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,121
Details, details.
462
00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,292
Guys, wait a minute.
463
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,660
I am not the kind of gentleman
that kisses and tells.
464
00:21:30,747 --> 00:21:31,747
Kissing.
465
00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:34,082
You put the old
liplock on her, huh?
466
00:21:34,167 --> 00:21:35,537
Hey, you devil you.
What else?
467
00:21:35,627 --> 00:21:36,707
What else?
- Guys, please.
468
00:21:36,795 --> 00:21:37,705
I am a doer, not a talker.
469
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:41,716
And besides, it's not
fair to the ladies.
470
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,050
And want a lady that
Lillian is, man.
471
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:45,216
Oh, come on, gopher.
472
00:21:45,303 --> 00:21:46,853
Can't you tell us anything?
473
00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:48,020
Well, there's nothing to tell.
474
00:21:48,098 --> 00:21:50,558
I walked her back to the
cabin and said good night.
475
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:51,022
That's all.
476
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:52,311
That's all?
477
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:55,654
And I stayed for
a nightcap or two.
478
00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:57,901
Hi, guys.
479
00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,113
Hi.
480
00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:01,572
Hey, gopher, what's
the matter with Lillian?
481
00:22:01,653 --> 00:22:04,163
I just saw her running back to
her cabin a few minutes ago.
482
00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:06,369
Is anything wrong?
483
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:11,330
I thought you said you
walked her back to her cabin.
484
00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:13,543
Well, we weren't
walking, we were running.
485
00:22:13,623 --> 00:22:15,883
Couldn't wait to
get me back here.
486
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:18,459
Gopher, I didn't
see you with her.
487
00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:23,715
Well, I was running so fast
you probably couldn't see me.
488
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,760
You struck out,
didn't you, gopher?
489
00:22:26,845 --> 00:22:27,845
[Bell ringing]
490
00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:32,353
Doc, what am I doing wrong?
491
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:36,561
[Door opening]
492
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,538
Look at the poor darling.
493
00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:54,329
She must have been
just exhausted.
494
00:22:54,414 --> 00:22:55,464
You know, Joan.
495
00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,580
When you think of those
kids who get their parents
496
00:22:57,667 --> 00:23:01,797
in a lot of trouble, we
sure are lucky to have
497
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,720
an angel like Gail.
498
00:23:11,223 --> 00:23:12,143
[Door closing]
499
00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:16,062
[Sigh]
500
00:23:23,902 --> 00:23:25,492
[Music playing]
501
00:23:28,865 --> 00:23:29,485
Come on.
502
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:30,954
Let's go get some breakfast.
503
00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:31,914
Go ahead.
504
00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:33,503
I want to finish this letter.
505
00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:35,498
Looks like a long one.
506
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:36,830
I have a lot to say.
507
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:41,165
It's to your friend,
Matt, the kind of letter
508
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:44,883
you should have
received long ago.
509
00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:48,755
Beth, is it so important
to you to hurt him?
510
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:50,354
If it will make you
feel any better,
511
00:23:50,428 --> 00:23:53,098
you've accomplished that
little feat very well.
512
00:23:53,181 --> 00:23:55,351
Did he say something to you?
513
00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:57,693
He didn't have
to say anything.
514
00:23:57,769 --> 00:23:59,769
You don't see a person bleed
you know they're wounded.
515
00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:09,988
Beth, sometimes we do
things that we think
516
00:24:10,073 --> 00:24:14,663
are right at the time, and
years later, we realize
517
00:24:14,744 --> 00:24:17,544
we made a terrible mistake.
518
00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:18,542
Don't worry, mother.
519
00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:21,383
I'll never be sorry
I wrote this letter.
520
00:24:21,459 --> 00:24:22,999
That's not what I meant, Beth.
521
00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:23,876
I can't help it, mom.
522
00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:25,762
I just can't.
523
00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:29,969
I hate myself for
hating him so much.
524
00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:31,511
I know.
525
00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:33,555
We all hate ourselves sometimes.
526
00:24:39,227 --> 00:24:39,977
Mikki.
527
00:24:40,061 --> 00:24:40,401
Hi.
528
00:24:40,478 --> 00:24:41,978
Hi, Julie.
529
00:24:42,063 --> 00:24:43,733
Mikki, I'd like you to
meet a very good friend
530
00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,065
of mine, Dr. Adam bricker.
531
00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:46,860
How do you do?
532
00:24:46,943 --> 00:24:47,943
Definitely q and b.
533
00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:48,698
Well, hello.
534
00:24:48,778 --> 00:24:50,858
Quality and distinction, huh?
535
00:24:50,947 --> 00:24:53,407
No, quick and dangerous.
536
00:24:53,491 --> 00:24:54,161
Don't believe
a word it, mikki.
537
00:24:54,242 --> 00:24:55,332
I'm really harmless.
538
00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:58,500
And knowing that,
I'm going to acapulco
539
00:24:58,580 --> 00:24:59,580
later, if you care to join me.
540
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:03,004
Oh, well thank you,
doctor, and you too, Julie.
541
00:25:03,084 --> 00:25:06,634
But I'm sort of hoping for
another invitation right now.
542
00:25:06,713 --> 00:25:08,223
But I tell you what,
when I don't get it,
543
00:25:08,298 --> 00:25:10,758
I'll come looking for you, ok?
544
00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:13,222
It's not even 9:00 and
I've had my first rejection.
545
00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:13,933
[Laughs]
546
00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:14,352
See you later.
547
00:25:14,429 --> 00:25:14,799
Ok, bye.
548
00:25:14,888 --> 00:25:15,598
Bye.
549
00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:24,060
Ok, Pete, now we finished
the drunk at the lifeboat
550
00:25:24,147 --> 00:25:25,317
drill routine, right?
551
00:25:25,398 --> 00:25:27,278
Then you give me
a da, da, da, da.
552
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,649
Go right into "if you knew
susie like I knew susie."
553
00:25:29,736 --> 00:25:30,356
Ok?
554
00:25:30,445 --> 00:25:32,065
[Piano playing]
555
00:25:32,155 --> 00:25:32,985
(Singing) If--
[Applause]
556
00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:33,743
Bravo.
557
00:25:33,823 --> 00:25:34,743
Great.
558
00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:36,704
Fantastic.
559
00:25:36,785 --> 00:25:38,535
Listen, we don't want you
singing too loud because we
560
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,250
don't to disturb the drinkers.
561
00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:42,460
Matt, I don't normally make
personal mail deliveries,
562
00:25:42,540 --> 00:25:45,250
but this one had the
scent of warm, tropical
563
00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:47,205
nights and grass-skirted women.
564
00:25:47,295 --> 00:25:47,955
Ah.
565
00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:49,086
Recently mowed.
566
00:25:49,172 --> 00:25:51,012
My, I haven't
received a fan letter
567
00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:54,221
since I ran out of stamps.
568
00:25:54,302 --> 00:25:55,892
I hope he does the
one about the aardvark
569
00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:56,971
and the [inaudible]
570
00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:58,305
Oh yeah, you do that
tonight, they'll love you.
571
00:25:58,390 --> 00:25:59,640
Yeah, yeah.
572
00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:02,314
Here's a fan who couldn't
wait till tonight to tell
573
00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:04,984
me how much she loved me.
574
00:26:05,063 --> 00:26:05,773
See you guys.
575
00:26:05,855 --> 00:26:06,555
Yeah.
576
00:26:18,368 --> 00:26:19,198
Captain?
577
00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:20,076
Matt, come in.
578
00:26:20,161 --> 00:26:20,501
Come in.
579
00:26:20,578 --> 00:26:23,958
Thank you.
580
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,500
Merrill, I need a big favor.
581
00:26:26,584 --> 00:26:27,924
No, you can't have
the ship tonight.
582
00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:29,093
I'm using it.
583
00:26:29,170 --> 00:26:31,920
For once, i'm
serious, very serious.
584
00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:33,547
Huh?
585
00:26:33,633 --> 00:26:34,843
What is it?
586
00:26:34,926 --> 00:26:38,426
Well, I have two friends that
I must get to the show tonight.
587
00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:39,853
It's very important to me.
588
00:26:39,931 --> 00:26:40,721
I don't understand, Matt.
589
00:26:40,807 --> 00:26:42,427
Anyone can come to the show.
590
00:26:42,517 --> 00:26:45,187
I don't think they'd
come, unless, perhaps,
591
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:48,230
you were to personally
invite them as your guests.
592
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:50,105
Are you talking about the
two women in the dining room
593
00:26:50,191 --> 00:26:50,941
the other night?
594
00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:52,026
Yeah.
595
00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:53,950
Let's just say it's
a family matter.
596
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:55,409
That's good enough for me.
597
00:26:55,488 --> 00:26:56,198
Don't worry about it.
598
00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,321
I'll have them there.
599
00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:58,027
I promise you.
600
00:26:58,116 --> 00:26:59,276
Thanks, merrill.
601
00:26:59,367 --> 00:27:00,697
I really owe you on this one.
602
00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:03,075
The only thing you owe
me is a good show tonight.
603
00:27:03,163 --> 00:27:09,003
Could be the best one
of my life or the worst.
604
00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:14,046
- Hi, Gail.
- Hi.
605
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:15,382
You want to have
breakfast together?
606
00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:16,007
Oh, mommy, daddy,
can I, please?
607
00:27:16,092 --> 00:27:17,012
Please?
608
00:27:17,093 --> 00:27:18,763
Of course.
609
00:27:18,845 --> 00:27:19,675
Sure.
610
00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:21,563
You kids run along
and have fun now.
611
00:27:21,639 --> 00:27:23,479
Come on.
612
00:27:23,558 --> 00:27:25,438
So what happened last night?
613
00:27:25,518 --> 00:27:26,478
Well, what do you mean?
614
00:27:26,561 --> 00:27:27,851
Well, first you
didn't come to dinner,
615
00:27:27,937 --> 00:27:29,897
and then your sister told
me you were sleeping.
616
00:27:29,981 --> 00:27:31,901
Well, I was.
617
00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:34,693
But I went to your cabin
and knocked and knocked.
618
00:27:34,778 --> 00:27:35,898
You never answered.
619
00:27:35,987 --> 00:27:38,867
Oh, well I slept in mommy
and daddy's cabin last night.
620
00:27:38,948 --> 00:27:41,078
I get afraid of
the dark sometimes.
621
00:27:41,159 --> 00:27:43,239
Boy, you are a baby.
622
00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:45,788
- Hi, kids.
- Hi.
623
00:27:45,872 --> 00:27:46,462
Hi.
624
00:27:46,539 --> 00:27:47,579
Where's your sister?
625
00:27:47,665 --> 00:27:49,875
Oh, she never
gets up till dark.
626
00:27:49,959 --> 00:27:52,669
She says the sun is
bad for her skin.
627
00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:53,594
I can't argue
with the results.
628
00:27:53,671 --> 00:27:57,051
Besides, she was
out late last night.
629
00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:59,393
She said she met Mr.
wonderful and fell in love.
630
00:27:59,469 --> 00:28:01,889
She wouldn't tell me who he was.
631
00:28:01,971 --> 00:28:03,101
Did you hear
that, Mr. Wonderful.
632
00:28:03,181 --> 00:28:04,851
I heard.
633
00:28:04,933 --> 00:28:06,773
I heard.
634
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:12,191
So Gail, what kind of
stuff does your sister like?
635
00:28:12,273 --> 00:28:13,943
Well, you know,
the usual things.
636
00:28:14,025 --> 00:28:21,735
Fashion magazines, comic books,
expensive perfume, bubblegum.
637
00:28:21,825 --> 00:28:23,905
As a matter of fact, if
I give her bubble gum,
638
00:28:23,993 --> 00:28:26,453
I can get her to
do anything I want.
639
00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:27,368
Oh really?
640
00:28:27,455 --> 00:28:29,865
I hope you guys will excuse me.
641
00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:31,378
I can hear bazooka Joe calling.
642
00:28:37,257 --> 00:28:37,917
Hey, you.
643
00:28:38,007 --> 00:28:40,047
How come the disappearing act?
644
00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:43,505
Oh with some great looking
unattached ladies on board,
645
00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:46,056
I figured you might want to
give one of them a break.
646
00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:48,811
I'm not interested in any
other ladies in this group.
647
00:28:48,893 --> 00:28:51,653
I happen to find you
bright, talented,
648
00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:54,819
totally unpredictable,
and thoroughly delightful.
649
00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:56,859
Now, you know you don't
have to say that to get
650
00:28:56,943 --> 00:28:58,193
me back to your cabin.
651
00:28:58,278 --> 00:29:00,948
All you have to do is ask.
652
00:29:01,030 --> 00:29:05,870
How would you like to spend
a very romantic day in acapulco
653
00:29:05,952 --> 00:29:07,702
with a handsome escort?
654
00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:08,867
I'd love to.
655
00:29:08,955 --> 00:29:09,705
Who's the guy?
656
00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:16,495
[Music playing]
657
00:29:21,509 --> 00:29:23,429
Pa: Welcome to acapulco,
ladies and gentlemen.
658
00:29:23,511 --> 00:29:25,681
I'm sorry about the weather.
659
00:29:25,763 --> 00:29:28,643
I hear there's one
low cloud in the sky.
660
00:29:28,725 --> 00:29:30,185
Just a touch of
"Princess" humor there.
661
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:31,348
Enjoy your day on
the Mexican riviera.
662
00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:34,106
We sail at 9:00.
663
00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,739
Mr. Winters?
664
00:29:41,821 --> 00:29:42,571
Oh, Mr. Winters.
665
00:29:42,655 --> 00:29:43,735
I'm glad I caught you.
666
00:29:43,823 --> 00:29:44,453
This cablegram
just came through.
667
00:29:44,532 --> 00:29:46,332
Oh, thank you very much.
668
00:29:52,123 --> 00:29:52,463
Hey, down there.
669
00:29:52,540 --> 00:29:54,960
Turn around.
670
00:29:55,043 --> 00:30:00,053
The "Cosmopolitan magazine"
says when using a staircase,
671
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:02,721
descend it slowly, like
a vision of loveliness.
672
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,010
How am I doing?
673
00:30:05,094 --> 00:30:06,554
You are exactly that.
674
00:30:06,638 --> 00:30:08,218
Ok, just one thing.
675
00:30:08,306 --> 00:30:09,466
Tell me when I reach the bottom.
676
00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:15,056
I don't know what's a good
way to tell you this, mikki.
677
00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:18,896
Uh-oh, when it starts like
that, there is no good way.
678
00:30:18,983 --> 00:30:20,443
Ok, give it to me straight.
679
00:30:20,527 --> 00:30:22,237
I'm not going to be able
to go into town with you.
680
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,240
I'm taking a cab
directly to the airport.
681
00:30:25,323 --> 00:30:25,703
Why?
682
00:30:25,782 --> 00:30:28,032
What happened?
683
00:30:28,117 --> 00:30:31,617
You see, I'm married.
684
00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:39,917
That's straight, right
between the eyeballs.
685
00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:41,054
I owe you an explanation.
686
00:30:41,130 --> 00:30:41,710
Oh, hey.
687
00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:42,798
You don't owe me anything.
688
00:30:42,882 --> 00:30:44,432
Don't worry about it.
689
00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:46,429
Look, I took this cruise
looking for a shipboard romance
690
00:30:46,511 --> 00:30:48,641
and I found one.
691
00:30:48,721 --> 00:30:50,971
So it didn't exactly
last the whole trip.
692
00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:53,597
Things haven't been working
well for my wife and me, mikki,
693
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,595
but the fact that she's
flying to acapulco
694
00:30:55,687 --> 00:30:57,017
must mean she's had
a change of heart.
695
00:30:57,105 --> 00:31:01,145
I've got five years of my life
invested in this marriage.
696
00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:05,284
So then go protect
your investment.
697
00:31:05,363 --> 00:31:06,453
Hey, look.
698
00:31:06,531 --> 00:31:07,951
This kid got herself
all gorgeoused up
699
00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:12,122
and nothing is going to stop
her from doing up the town.
700
00:31:12,203 --> 00:31:13,293
I'm really sorry, mikki.
701
00:31:13,371 --> 00:31:14,751
Oh, forget it.
702
00:31:14,831 --> 00:31:16,371
Hey, acapulco, here I come.
703
00:31:34,225 --> 00:31:36,055
[Knocking on door]
704
00:31:36,144 --> 00:31:37,234
Wake up, sleeping beauty.
705
00:31:37,312 --> 00:31:38,812
It's your knight
in shining armor.
706
00:31:56,414 --> 00:31:58,964
What is all that stuff
in front of Gail's cabin?
707
00:32:08,426 --> 00:32:11,846
Paul, look at this.
708
00:32:11,929 --> 00:32:15,679
"You're the sweetest and
sexist girl in the ship.
709
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:18,347
So you'll think of me
till we're together again.
710
00:32:18,436 --> 00:32:20,356
Love, gopher."
711
00:32:20,438 --> 00:32:21,398
Paul, what are we going to do?
712
00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:24,191
You mean before or
after I kill that pervert?
713
00:32:30,990 --> 00:32:31,990
[Music playing]
714
00:32:35,536 --> 00:32:37,366
All right, double sixes again.
715
00:32:37,455 --> 00:32:38,575
I don't believe it.
716
00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:39,075
You get more doubles
than Pete Rose.
717
00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:44,841
Excuse me.
718
00:32:44,921 --> 00:32:47,051
Have either of you
seen gopher anywhere?
719
00:32:47,131 --> 00:32:48,091
No, but if I
were a betting man,
720
00:32:48,174 --> 00:32:51,394
I'd lay it 2:1 he's with
the gerber girl again.
721
00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:52,469
Then it's true.
722
00:32:52,553 --> 00:32:53,433
What is?
723
00:32:53,513 --> 00:32:55,603
That he's been dating
young Gail gerber.
724
00:32:55,682 --> 00:32:56,772
I just left her parents.
725
00:32:56,849 --> 00:32:57,809
They're ready to kill him.
726
00:32:57,892 --> 00:32:59,232
You mean Lillian
gerber, don't you?
727
00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:00,230
Lillian?
728
00:33:00,311 --> 00:33:01,101
Who's Lillian?
729
00:33:01,187 --> 00:33:02,727
Well, that's
Gail's older sister.
730
00:33:02,814 --> 00:33:04,574
Gopher has been dating her.
731
00:33:04,649 --> 00:33:07,189
Oh, so that explains it.
732
00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:09,396
This letter was
intended for Lillian.
733
00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:11,237
Her parents think
it was for Gail.
734
00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:11,992
Thank you, Adam.
735
00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:15,453
Thank you, Vicki.
736
00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:18,745
Doc, do you think that--
737
00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:19,460
never mind, it's silly.
738
00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:22,709
What's silly?
739
00:33:22,792 --> 00:33:26,752
Well, you know, a lot of
kids my age today are modeling.
740
00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:29,878
And with a lot of makeup
and a new, different, more
741
00:33:29,966 --> 00:33:33,466
sophisticated hairstyle,
15-year-olds, or even younger,
742
00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:35,353
can turn out to look 22.
743
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:36,640
You don't think--
744
00:33:36,723 --> 00:33:38,603
well, have you ever seen Gail
and Lillian in the same place
745
00:33:38,683 --> 00:33:39,313
at the same time.
746
00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:41,772
No.
747
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:43,443
Come on, let's see
if there's a Lillian
748
00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:44,771
gerber on the passenger list.
749
00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:47,476
If there isn't, we better
find gopher and tell him.
750
00:33:47,567 --> 00:33:49,937
Right, before he's on
the man overboard list.
751
00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:01,655
How did it go this
afternoon, Mr. Winters?
752
00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:03,458
I got ditched again, Isaac.
753
00:34:12,258 --> 00:34:14,388
You seem to be on a streak.
754
00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:17,469
Well, at least this
time, it wasn't your wife.
755
00:34:17,555 --> 00:34:19,555
Yes, it was.
756
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,310
Turns out she had to fly
to acapulco on business,
757
00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:23,313
so she asked me to
meet her at the airport
758
00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:27,984
so we could have a talk
about getting a divorce.
759
00:34:28,065 --> 00:34:29,275
Ouch, that hurts.
760
00:34:29,358 --> 00:34:33,278
Guess she figured she'd
mix business with pleasure.
761
00:34:33,362 --> 00:34:34,362
Have you told mikki?
762
00:34:34,447 --> 00:34:36,027
I can't face her.
763
00:34:36,115 --> 00:34:37,525
You're right.
764
00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:39,987
If you never see her again for
the rest of your life, at least
765
00:34:40,077 --> 00:34:40,947
you won't be embarrassed.
766
00:34:41,037 --> 00:34:42,537
You don't understand.
767
00:34:42,622 --> 00:34:44,542
The reason that lady
is so hard on herself
768
00:34:44,624 --> 00:34:47,384
is because she's been
hurt by a lot of people.
769
00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:49,750
Right now, my name's probably
at the top of the list.
770
00:34:49,837 --> 00:34:52,587
She must think I'm a real creep.
771
00:34:52,673 --> 00:34:54,723
You know something?
772
00:34:54,801 --> 00:34:56,431
I think I agree with her.
773
00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:59,101
Maybe being too hard on
yourself is something you two
774
00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:01,140
have in common.
775
00:35:01,224 --> 00:35:02,854
I'll get you a double Martini.
776
00:35:14,487 --> 00:35:17,617
Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Gerber,
I've been looking for you.
777
00:35:17,698 --> 00:35:19,328
I have good news for you.
778
00:35:19,408 --> 00:35:20,538
The sex fiend's in jail.
779
00:35:20,618 --> 00:35:21,118
Oh, no, no.
780
00:35:21,202 --> 00:35:22,872
It was all a mistake.
781
00:35:22,954 --> 00:35:25,624
Gopher left everything
at the wrong cabin.
782
00:35:25,706 --> 00:35:27,536
Well, that is good news.
783
00:35:27,625 --> 00:35:28,745
Yes.
784
00:35:28,835 --> 00:35:31,205
It was all intended for
your older daughter.
785
00:35:31,295 --> 00:35:33,375
But captain, we only
have one daughter.
786
00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:43,183
Uh, gopher, I
have to talk to you.
787
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:44,806
Doc, your sense
of timing leaves
788
00:35:44,892 --> 00:35:45,562
a great deal to be desired.
789
00:35:45,643 --> 00:35:47,273
I'm sorry.
790
00:35:47,353 --> 00:35:48,353
This will only take a minute.
791
00:35:48,437 --> 00:35:49,057
Excuse me.
792
00:35:49,146 --> 00:35:51,976
Excuse me.
793
00:35:52,066 --> 00:35:53,566
Congratulations, Lillian.
794
00:35:53,651 --> 00:35:57,241
This is your night.
795
00:35:57,321 --> 00:35:58,071
My night.
796
00:35:58,155 --> 00:35:59,065
Sure.
797
00:35:59,156 --> 00:36:00,656
Everybody knows what
happens on a second date
798
00:36:00,741 --> 00:36:02,661
with gopher Smith.
799
00:36:02,743 --> 00:36:05,203
What happens?
800
00:36:05,288 --> 00:36:06,078
What do you think?
801
00:36:06,163 --> 00:36:09,133
I mean, scented
candles in his cabin,
802
00:36:09,208 --> 00:36:11,418
red light bulbs
in all the lamps.
803
00:36:11,502 --> 00:36:17,012
I bet he's got those champagne
cocktails already made.
804
00:36:17,091 --> 00:36:19,091
You sure are lucky.
805
00:36:19,176 --> 00:36:21,756
This will be a night
you'll never forget.
806
00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:23,756
Gail, I think you and I
better have a little talk.
807
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,058
Don't come near me.
808
00:36:25,141 --> 00:36:28,061
I'm only 14 years old, gopher
Smith, and if you touch me,
809
00:36:28,144 --> 00:36:29,404
I'm going to tell
my mommy and daddy.
810
00:36:29,478 --> 00:36:29,848
And really, I'm not even 14 yet.
811
00:36:29,937 --> 00:36:31,767
I'm 13 and 3/4.
812
00:36:33,774 --> 00:36:37,114
Wait a minute.
813
00:36:37,194 --> 00:36:39,454
You called me Gail.
814
00:36:39,530 --> 00:36:43,280
You know?
815
00:36:43,284 --> 00:36:45,164
Oh, there they are, captain.
816
00:36:45,244 --> 00:36:45,874
Daddy.
817
00:36:45,953 --> 00:36:47,543
Oh, darling.
818
00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:51,082
Gail.
819
00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:53,497
Gail, what are you doing
all dressed up like that?
820
00:36:53,586 --> 00:36:56,416
Just look at your hair,
and all that makeup.
821
00:37:00,593 --> 00:37:02,643
I suppose this
was your idea, you--
822
00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:04,100
no, no, daddy.
823
00:37:04,180 --> 00:37:06,890
It's not his fault. I was
just dressing up like a grown
824
00:37:06,974 --> 00:37:08,274
up to have some fun.
825
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:11,731
Mr. Gerber, I had no idea.
826
00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:15,362
Young lady, I
mean, little girl,
827
00:37:15,441 --> 00:37:19,361
I think it's time we
had a nice, long talk.
828
00:37:19,445 --> 00:37:21,855
Well it was just pretend.
829
00:37:21,948 --> 00:37:22,908
Fine.
830
00:37:22,990 --> 00:37:24,490
When we get to the
cabin, I'm going
831
00:37:24,575 --> 00:37:25,275
to give you a pretend spanking.
832
00:37:30,915 --> 00:37:33,125
I can't believe it.
833
00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:33,959
She's younger than I am.
834
00:37:34,043 --> 00:37:35,673
Don't you get any ideas.
835
00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:39,053
[Ship horn]
836
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:44,934
Pa: We hope you enjoyed
your day at port,
837
00:37:45,012 --> 00:37:45,972
but there's plenty of
night ahead of you.
838
00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:47,925
We'll all be in acapulco lounge.
839
00:37:48,015 --> 00:37:52,055
Why don't you come join us?
840
00:37:52,144 --> 00:37:53,524
Larry?
841
00:37:53,604 --> 00:37:56,364
Hi.
842
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,690
She dumped you, huh?
843
00:37:59,777 --> 00:38:02,277
Isaac told you?
844
00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:03,823
He didn't have to.
845
00:38:03,906 --> 00:38:05,366
Two months ago,
"Cosmopolitan magazine"
846
00:38:05,449 --> 00:38:09,949
ran a quiz called how to
know when you've been dumped.
847
00:38:10,037 --> 00:38:11,957
I passed with flying colors.
848
00:38:12,039 --> 00:38:14,669
Believe me, I'm an
expert on the subject.
849
00:38:14,750 --> 00:38:16,710
It hurts, doesn't it?
850
00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:19,713
That it does.
851
00:38:19,797 --> 00:38:21,007
I know.
852
00:38:21,090 --> 00:38:23,550
But you'll get over it.
853
00:38:23,634 --> 00:38:26,264
I do.
854
00:38:26,345 --> 00:38:27,805
And then you go on
the search for what
855
00:38:27,888 --> 00:38:29,968
"Cosmopolitan"
calls the Mr. That's
856
00:38:30,057 --> 00:38:34,847
a meaningful relationship.
857
00:38:34,937 --> 00:38:37,227
And they're tough to find.
858
00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:38,645
You know why?
859
00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:43,073
Because meaningful relationships
take time, and time's something
860
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,744
that nobody has very
much of these days.
861
00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:47,994
Right now, you're
looking at a man
862
00:38:48,075 --> 00:38:48,445
with all the time in the world.
863
00:39:00,546 --> 00:39:04,756
Was that a rebound
kiss or a mean it kiss?
864
00:39:11,891 --> 00:39:14,021
I retract the
question, counselor.
865
00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:30,704
[Laughs]
866
00:39:31,702 --> 00:39:33,702
Well, would anyone
care for another drink
867
00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:34,538
before the show starts?
868
00:39:39,668 --> 00:39:39,958
Why don't we get out of here?
869
00:39:40,044 --> 00:39:41,504
No, dear.
870
00:39:41,587 --> 00:39:42,247
We're guests.
871
00:39:42,338 --> 00:39:45,088
We can't just leave.
872
00:39:45,174 --> 00:39:45,884
I'm really looking
forward to seeing this show.
873
00:39:45,966 --> 00:39:47,636
Me, too.
874
00:39:47,718 --> 00:39:48,888
Matt Heller's the greatest.
875
00:39:48,969 --> 00:39:50,889
[Applause]
876
00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:54,515
[Drumroll]
877
00:39:56,018 --> 00:39:58,308
Thank you.
878
00:39:58,395 --> 00:40:00,185
Ladies and gentlemen, may
I have your attention?
879
00:40:00,272 --> 00:40:02,232
Tonight, the acapulco lounge
is proud to present one of
880
00:40:02,316 --> 00:40:05,316
our most talented entertainers.
881
00:40:05,402 --> 00:40:07,612
Would you please welcome
a favorite of all of ours,
882
00:40:07,696 --> 00:40:09,196
Mr. Matt Heller.
883
00:40:09,281 --> 00:40:10,281
[Applauses]
884
00:40:11,909 --> 00:40:13,829
Oh, thank you.
885
00:40:13,911 --> 00:40:16,081
Thank you.
886
00:40:16,163 --> 00:40:19,503
I have some great news today.
887
00:40:19,583 --> 00:40:22,173
I've been up for a dramatic
role in a play that
888
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:25,803
opens on Broadway next season
and I just found out today
889
00:40:25,881 --> 00:40:27,011
I got the part.
890
00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:27,971
[Applause]
891
00:40:28,050 --> 00:40:30,010
Can you believe it?
892
00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:32,144
Matt Heller in a dramatic
role, no singing,
893
00:40:32,221 --> 00:40:34,311
no dancing, no jokes.
894
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:37,270
Well tonight, I thought i'd
do a scene from the play,
895
00:40:37,351 --> 00:40:40,191
and I think I can prove to
everyone, once and for all,
896
00:40:40,271 --> 00:40:45,281
that although I may be a
mediocre comic, as an actor,
897
00:40:45,359 --> 00:40:48,649
I'm really bad.
898
00:40:48,737 --> 00:40:50,487
I can really use an
assistant, a volunteer.
899
00:40:50,573 --> 00:40:54,123
Can I have a girl in
her 20s, pretty girl.
900
00:40:54,201 --> 00:40:57,541
Gee, there's so many to choose
from, but you're perfect.
901
00:40:57,621 --> 00:40:59,121
You're just-- come on, folks.
902
00:40:59,206 --> 00:41:00,206
Put your hands
together and let's get
903
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,791
this little girl to volunteer.
904
00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:02,786
Come on.
905
00:41:04,962 --> 00:41:07,132
Right up here.
906
00:41:07,214 --> 00:41:08,724
Don't be nervous.
907
00:41:08,799 --> 00:41:10,179
Good, good.
908
00:41:10,259 --> 00:41:12,089
Now, don't you be scared.
909
00:41:12,178 --> 00:41:15,558
You just sit right there.
910
00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:17,309
No magic here, I'm not going
to cut you in half or anything.
911
00:41:17,391 --> 00:41:19,561
You just sit there
and look pretty.
912
00:41:19,643 --> 00:41:23,733
The play is about a father
who deserts his daughter
913
00:41:23,814 --> 00:41:25,654
when she's very young.
914
00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:29,153
Nearly 20 years later, they
meet accidentally again,
915
00:41:29,236 --> 00:41:33,116
and she won't have
anything to do with him.
916
00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:36,989
She writes him a letter,
pouring out her heart.
917
00:41:37,077 --> 00:41:40,037
And this is the final
scene in the play,
918
00:41:40,122 --> 00:41:40,712
where he confronts her.
919
00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:48,260
I got your letter.
920
00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:53,049
I never realized there could be
that much hatred in a person.
921
00:41:53,135 --> 00:41:56,175
Didn't come here to try and
change your mind about me.
922
00:41:56,263 --> 00:42:00,313
You've had this hurt inside of
you too long for me to do that.
923
00:42:00,392 --> 00:42:04,482
When you were a little girl, it
seemed that you were just one
924
00:42:04,563 --> 00:42:07,903
big bunch of questions,
and I was the one you
925
00:42:07,983 --> 00:42:11,993
always came to for the answers.
926
00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:17,621
Now, you're all grown
up, beautiful and wise,
927
00:42:17,701 --> 00:42:20,621
and you seem to have
all the answers.
928
00:42:20,704 --> 00:42:22,294
But it's strange, isn't it?
929
00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:25,673
Now I'm the one
with the questions.
930
00:42:25,751 --> 00:42:30,591
Do I tell you why I really left?
931
00:42:30,673 --> 00:42:33,843
Would you understand?
932
00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:37,096
The most important
question of all,
933
00:42:37,179 --> 00:42:40,469
am I too late with the answers?
934
00:42:40,557 --> 00:42:41,307
I hope not.
935
00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:47,645
When your mother first
told me she was pregnant,
936
00:42:47,731 --> 00:42:51,441
I asked her to marry me.
937
00:42:51,527 --> 00:42:55,107
I knew she didn't love me,
not the way I loved her,
938
00:42:55,197 --> 00:42:56,867
but it didn't matter to me.
939
00:42:56,949 --> 00:43:03,159
It mattered even less
that I wasn't the father.
940
00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:04,707
So we married.
941
00:43:06,625 --> 00:43:12,915
When you were born,
I felt as if all
942
00:43:13,007 --> 00:43:14,757
the joy and happiness
in the world
943
00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:19,312
was suddenly poured
into my heart.
944
00:43:19,388 --> 00:43:21,928
I became such a bore
with my pictures
945
00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:27,016
and stories of my little girl.
946
00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:32,534
And one day, your mother
came to me and we talked.
947
00:43:32,609 --> 00:43:34,819
We talked a long time.
948
00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:42,950
I never, never wanted to
leave you and your mother.
949
00:43:43,037 --> 00:43:44,287
It was her idea.
950
00:43:46,957 --> 00:43:53,207
I don't remember all the reasons
she gave, but in a few days,
951
00:43:53,297 --> 00:43:54,007
I left.
952
00:43:57,426 --> 00:44:01,136
You were asleep the
night I went away.
953
00:44:01,221 --> 00:44:06,021
So I never really got a
chance to say good bye.
954
00:44:06,101 --> 00:44:07,901
That's why I'm here now.
955
00:44:07,978 --> 00:44:12,898
I don't want to leave you again,
not without saying good bye.
956
00:44:16,111 --> 00:44:17,611
So good bye, my love.
957
00:44:20,699 --> 00:44:24,789
I love you now even more
than I loved you then.
958
00:44:42,137 --> 00:44:44,807
[Applause]
959
00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:54,609
Beth, darling.
960
00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:56,242
Why, mother?
961
00:44:56,318 --> 00:44:57,688
Why?
962
00:44:57,778 --> 00:45:04,118
I-- I didn't want you to
know that I wasn't married
963
00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:06,911
when you were conceived.
964
00:45:06,995 --> 00:45:09,365
And your real father
was a man you never met,
965
00:45:09,456 --> 00:45:11,166
a man I hardly knew myself.
966
00:45:14,044 --> 00:45:18,674
I didn't want you to think
that I was a lesser person.
967
00:45:18,757 --> 00:45:24,757
Oh, I could never
think of you like that.
968
00:45:24,847 --> 00:45:29,137
To me, you'll always be
beautiful, inside and out.
969
00:45:33,689 --> 00:45:38,569
It just seemed the right
thing to do at the time,
970
00:45:38,652 --> 00:45:41,532
but so foolish.
971
00:45:41,613 --> 00:45:43,163
I've been the foolish one.
972
00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:45,200
I've been so cruel to Matt.
973
00:45:47,995 --> 00:45:50,035
Did he really love me
as much as he said?
974
00:45:50,122 --> 00:45:51,002
Yes.
975
00:45:51,081 --> 00:45:52,251
To him, you were his daughter.
976
00:45:52,332 --> 00:45:55,542
I've never known anyone with
the capacity to love like that.
977
00:45:55,627 --> 00:45:59,627
I think that's
what frightened me.
978
00:45:59,715 --> 00:46:02,425
He loved so completely.
979
00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:05,891
I guess we've
both been foolish.
980
00:46:11,894 --> 00:46:13,814
Beth, i--
981
00:46:13,896 --> 00:46:14,396
daddy.
982
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,190
She called me daddy.
983
00:46:30,704 --> 00:46:33,084
[Music playing]
984
00:46:42,633 --> 00:46:44,553
Oh, Mr. Winters.
985
00:46:44,635 --> 00:46:46,845
What a difference a day made.
986
00:46:46,929 --> 00:46:47,849
Yeah, right, Isaac.
987
00:46:47,930 --> 00:46:50,810
Only in this case,
it was a night.
988
00:46:50,891 --> 00:46:52,561
What would your
magazine say about him.
989
00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:55,853
Q and d, quality
and distinction?
990
00:46:55,938 --> 00:46:56,768
I don't care what they say.
991
00:46:56,855 --> 00:47:00,355
I think he's fancy,
cute, and cuddly.
992
00:47:00,442 --> 00:47:02,652
We'll see you later.
993
00:47:02,736 --> 00:47:03,396
Bye bye.
994
00:47:03,487 --> 00:47:04,357
So long.
995
00:47:04,446 --> 00:47:06,486
Thanks for sailing with us.
996
00:47:06,573 --> 00:47:07,573
Good bye.
997
00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:10,238
Oh, that was some
performance last night, Matt.
998
00:47:10,327 --> 00:47:11,907
Yeah well, thanks, doc.
999
00:47:11,995 --> 00:47:13,405
And thank you,
captain, for supplying
1000
00:47:13,497 --> 00:47:15,707
just the right audience.
1001
00:47:15,791 --> 00:47:19,421
Beth and I should be doing
the thank you, captain.
1002
00:47:19,503 --> 00:47:20,253
Absolutely.
1003
00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:22,007
Well, I'm just
glad the show turned
1004
00:47:22,089 --> 00:47:24,839
out so well for all of you.
1005
00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:26,715
We liked the show so
much we decided to take
1006
00:47:26,802 --> 00:47:28,932
the star home with us for good.
1007
00:47:29,012 --> 00:47:32,392
Well, that's a curtain
line if I ever heard one.
1008
00:47:32,474 --> 00:47:33,104
Good bye.
1009
00:47:33,183 --> 00:47:33,933
Bye bye.
1010
00:47:39,356 --> 00:47:41,276
Captain, I've had
a long talk with Gail
1011
00:47:41,358 --> 00:47:44,898
and she won't be pulling any
stunts like that anymore.
1012
00:47:44,987 --> 00:47:46,147
I'm sorry for causing
you any trouble.
1013
00:47:46,238 --> 00:47:48,448
No problem.
1014
00:47:48,532 --> 00:47:50,282
And Vicki, thanks
so much for being
1015
00:47:50,367 --> 00:47:51,907
such a good friend to Gail.
1016
00:47:51,994 --> 00:47:52,664
No problem.
1017
00:47:52,744 --> 00:47:53,624
And gopher, i--
1018
00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:55,374
no problem.
1019
00:47:55,455 --> 00:47:55,955
Come on, dear.
1020
00:47:56,039 --> 00:47:56,329
Good bye, everybody.
1021
00:47:56,415 --> 00:47:56,955
Bye bye.
1022
00:48:06,592 --> 00:48:07,722
Now that's a problem.
1023
00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:22,019
[Music playing]
65707
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