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00:00:02,301 --> 00:00:06,604
♪ Thank you for being a friend
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00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:09,207
♪ Traveled down the roadand back again
3
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:12,077
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:17,014
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:19,984
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:25,557
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:30,028
♪ You would seethe biggest
giftwould be from me
8
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,830
♪ And the card attachedwould say
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00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:36,500
♪ "Thank youfor being a friend" ♪
10
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:06,031
Mmm!
11
00:01:07,666 --> 00:01:09,934
Morning!
Morning.
12
00:01:09,936 --> 00:01:11,169
Dorothy, taste this.
13
00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:15,540
Mmm! Oh, Ma,
that's wonderful.
14
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:20,211
Yeah, smells fine to me.
I don't know why they're recalling it.
15
00:01:26,051 --> 00:01:28,453
Good morning.
Morning, Rose.
16
00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:30,021
Wait, there's something
different about you.
17
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:33,158
Didn't you used to have a neck?
18
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:36,494
It's tension. It always goes
to the same place.
19
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:39,664
(sighs) My shoulder's tight
and my neck gets stiff
20
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:41,499
and I can't turn my head.
21
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:44,369
You mean you can't move
your neck at all? No.
22
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,971
Look out, behind you!
23
00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:51,309
Hey, you gotta make
your own fun around here.
24
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:53,244
Honey, what's
making you so tense?
25
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:56,080
It's my job, all the pressure.
26
00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:59,117
What's the big deal?
You're just working for a consumer reporter -
27
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,419
you're not actually
on TV yourself.
28
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:03,421
Well, it is a big deal.
29
00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:07,158
All those consumers are depending
on me to do a good job.
30
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,661
If I'm not careful, people
could get hurt or cheated.
31
00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:12,831
Look, it's Jimmy Smits!
32
00:02:15,234 --> 00:02:16,735
Ma, stop that.
33
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,336
(doorbell)
34
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:21,405
Rose, you're gonna have to learn
how to take care of that stress.
35
00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:24,009
You can't walk around in agony.
36
00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:25,709
She's right.
For a bad neck,
37
00:02:25,711 --> 00:02:30,648
you get into bed, lie perfectly
still and wait until it's over.
38
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:33,684
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
That's not a bad neck, that's bad sex.
39
00:02:38,457 --> 00:02:42,093
Hi, Mom. Michael! Michael!
I can't believe it.
40
00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:45,130
Oh, honey,
it is so good to see you.
41
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:47,798
Everybody, Michael is here.
42
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,702
Look, Rose, it's Michael.
I'm not falling for that again.
43
00:02:54,373 --> 00:02:56,041
Hi, Blanche. Rose.
44
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:59,610
Oh, Grandma, you look
more beautiful than ever.
45
00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:02,781
Relax, you're already in the will.
Now come give me a hug.
46
00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:07,118
Honey, Michael, I thought
you were touring with that band.
47
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,920
Great news, Ma.
I quit. You quit?
48
00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:12,190
You just got the job
two weeks ago.
49
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,392
I know, but I feel
like I'm in a rut.
50
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:16,795
Michael, how are you gonna
support your wife?
51
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:19,664
More good news -
Lorraine and I separated.
52
00:03:19,666 --> 00:03:21,666
Sep-- What do you mean?
53
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:24,101
He means he and Lorraine
aren't living together.
54
00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:27,505
I know what he means.
55
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:30,208
It's just a breather -
give each other space.
56
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,376
She threw you out, didn't she?
57
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,010
She changed the locks
and everything.
58
00:03:34,413 --> 00:03:37,181
I mean, she even tossed all
my clothes out the window.
59
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,582
You can't imagine
what it's like,
60
00:03:38,584 --> 00:03:41,886
searching for underwear
in the back of a convertible.
61
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,188
Tell me about it.
62
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:50,795
Michael, couldn't you
have tried to make it work
63
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,030
before you just walked away?
64
00:03:53,032 --> 00:03:54,598
I tried -
God knows, I tried -
65
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,968
but Ma, she didn't
understand who I am.
66
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,204
She didn't understand
I'm a free spirit.
67
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:02,573
And that's why I like to come home
- 'cause you understand me.
68
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,243
It's not just because
I do your laundry?
69
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:09,014
Michael, we were just having breakfast.
Would you join us?
70
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:11,248
That's the best offer
I've had all morning.
71
00:04:12,918 --> 00:04:15,286
You know, it wouldn't hurt
if you backed your kid up more.
72
00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:20,224
Oh, Ma, it's just that I hate to see
Michael making all the wrong choices.
73
00:04:20,226 --> 00:04:22,660
You know what I mean?
How could I know?
74
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:25,596
My children made all the right choices.
My son was a cross-dresser,
75
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,765
my daughter
was unmarried and pregnant.
76
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:30,701
Hell, I was the Rose
Kennedy of Brooklyn!
77
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:50,988
Rose! Honey,
it's three in the morning!
78
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,324
Why are you staring
at those light bulbs?
79
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:54,959
I'm running
a consumer test for work.
80
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:58,196
I have to see which one
of these lasts longer.
81
00:05:00,499 --> 00:05:05,269
Rose, you ninny, don't you know staring at
light bulbs for hours is bad for your eyes?
82
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:07,304
Hey, instead of worrying
about my eyes,
83
00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:13,244
I'd be more concerned with those
purple spots all over your face.
84
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,780
Oh, I'm sorry, Blanche.
I'm frazzled.
85
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,282
Not only is this due tomorrow,
86
00:05:17,284 --> 00:05:22,487
but I have to make sure
this watch really is waterproof.
87
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:26,724
Honey, why don't you take
the watch off your wrist?
88
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:30,061
Come on, Blanche! Then I'd have my
hand in a bucket of water for nothing.
89
00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:36,100
Rose, listen.
90
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:39,704
I don't want you to take this the wrong
way but you are driving us crazy.
91
00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:42,507
Now, you've got to get some sleep.
How?
92
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:46,678
There is no way I can relax when I'm
so anxious about these work deadlines.
93
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,014
Learn to relax.
I learned how to relax in any situation
94
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,016
on that meditation retreat.
95
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,785
You went on a meditation retreat?
Yeah.
96
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,287
Was it successful?
Oh, yes.
97
00:05:56,289 --> 00:06:00,091
By the end of the week 17 men
were using my name as a mantra.
98
00:06:01,593 --> 00:06:05,063
OK, how do you meditate?
Well, just shut your eyes.
99
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,830
Now breathe deeply.
100
00:06:06,832 --> 00:06:09,234
Uh-huh.
101
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:11,503
Mm-hm.
102
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,171
Mm-hm.
103
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,772
Good.
104
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,874
I can't.
I'm too wound up.
105
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:20,278
Blanche!
Which one went out first?
106
00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:27,385
Beats me.
107
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,588
Oh, great. Now what am I gonna
tell Enrique Mas tomorrow?
108
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,890
You are going to tell him
that you are overworked.
109
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,326
I can't tell him that.
He'll think I can't do the job.
110
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,296
You can't do it, Rose -
not like this.
111
00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:41,332
Now, you talk to him and tell
him you have too much to do.
112
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,267
If it means your job,
it means your job.
113
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:45,136
Honey, you can't go on
like this - you'll die.
114
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:48,506
Or we'll kill you.
115
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:50,875
Well, I'll think about it,
Blanche. But I'm telling you,
116
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:55,613
I'm not ready to give up the most
challenging, exciting job I've ever had.
117
00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:10,061
Ma, Ma, listen to this.
118
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,798
"Saxophone player wanted at the
Hacienda Hut cocktail lounge."
119
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,900
What do you think?
120
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:19,137
I guess I could learn.
121
00:07:20,839 --> 00:07:23,974
Ma, not for you -
for Michael.
122
00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:26,210
For the past week all he's been
doing is hanging out at the beach
123
00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:27,779
and having a good time.
124
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,313
Maybe this job
at the Hacienda Hut
125
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,548
will get him on
the right track again.
126
00:07:31,550 --> 00:07:34,852
You don't want Michael working in
a place like the Hacienda Hut.
127
00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:40,091
It is full of people just looking
for easy sex and cheap thrills.
128
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:43,560
But if it'll help, I could write
a letter of recommendation.
129
00:07:46,865 --> 00:07:48,399
Why push Michael into a job?
130
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:51,002
Give him time to breathe.
Let him find himself.
131
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,604
Oh, Ma, I'm a little concerned.
132
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:56,774
He just doesn't take
commitment seriously.
133
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:59,277
Ma, he quits jobs,
he leaves relationships.
134
00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:01,145
It's like they don't matter.
135
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:04,248
He is 30 years old.
When's he gonna grow up?
136
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:07,385
Why should he, when you make it
so easy for him not to?
137
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:08,986
Are you saying it's my fault?
138
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,955
All I'm saying is,
you have to do something,
139
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:13,824
or you're gonna end up
with a 60-year-old kid
140
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:17,194
who can't hold a job or have
a meaningful relationship,
141
00:08:17,196 --> 00:08:20,698
who keeps running to you all the
time for emotional support.
142
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,566
Can you imagine
a man like that?
143
00:08:22,568 --> 00:08:25,669
(doorbell) No, I can't.
144
00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:35,646
Yes, I can.
145
00:08:35,648 --> 00:08:37,515
Hi. It's me, Stan.
Come on in, Stanley.
146
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,918
We were just talking about you.
147
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,587
I thought I felt
my ears burning.
148
00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:46,824
Maybe that cheap toupee
you're wearing retains heat.
149
00:08:49,127 --> 00:08:50,495
Stanley, why are you here?
150
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:52,630
Michael and I
made plans for tonight.
151
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:54,331
You know, a real
father-son evening,
152
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:58,268
where we can rap and share our
feelings and create good vibes.
153
00:08:58,270 --> 00:09:01,606
I can dig it.
154
00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:04,141
Where are you taking him?
The Hacienda Hut.
155
00:09:05,944 --> 00:09:08,446
I'll show him the town,
give him some quality time.
156
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:11,115
Maybe it'll make up for never
teaching him how to ride a bicycle.
157
00:09:11,117 --> 00:09:14,485
Stanley, how come I've never
seen you at the Hacienda Hut?
158
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:17,455
I never have to stay long.
I'm a chick magnet.
159
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:21,859
That's why
they call me Mr. Lucky.
160
00:09:21,861 --> 00:09:26,764
You mean, for 38 years I was Mrs.
Lucky and never knew it?
161
00:09:26,766 --> 00:09:29,700
What about
the present Mrs. Lucky?
162
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:31,869
Does she know
what a maggot you are?
163
00:09:34,305 --> 00:09:37,374
Magnet, Dorothy. Magnet.
164
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,878
Hey, Dad.
I'll be with you in a second.
165
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,048
Ma, could I see you
in the kitchen?
166
00:09:49,888 --> 00:09:53,057
Look, Ma, I'm picking up the tab
for dinner tonight
167
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:55,860
and I feel kind of bad
because I've never treated you.
168
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:59,230
I mean, I love Dad, but you've
always been there for me.
169
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,832
Honey, don't worry.
I'll always be there for you.
170
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:06,137
I'm glad to hear that, Ma, because I
ran out of cash. I need to borrow $30.
171
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:08,472
$30? Michael,
you're an adult.
172
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:11,609
Do you really wanna beg
your mother for $30?
173
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,479
All right, fine.
Forget it. I hate this.
174
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:17,782
Whenever I need money you
make me feel like I'm asking.
175
00:10:20,118 --> 00:10:23,153
All right. All right,
all right, all right.
176
00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:25,856
Oh, but look,
all I have are two twenties.
177
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:28,091
Great.
We can get appetizers.
178
00:10:29,828 --> 00:10:31,595
OK, let's jam.
That's my boy.
179
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:34,565
That's my dad.
That's my money.
180
00:10:39,471 --> 00:10:41,939
Dorothy,
you gave him money again?
181
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,108
Oh! When are you
gonna realize
182
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:46,711
that you will never have a good
relationship with your children
183
00:10:46,713 --> 00:10:48,946
until you stop doing
all the things for them
184
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,782
they should be doing
for themselves.
185
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:53,317
Dorothy, I finished your blouse.
And the socks?
186
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,887
Get right on it.
187
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,555
So what am I supposed to do?
188
00:10:58,557 --> 00:11:00,758
You have to make him stand
on his own two feet.
189
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,359
If I were you,
I'd kick him out.
190
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:04,261
You really think
I should do that?
191
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:07,131
Kick him out.
I know it sounds hard and cruel,
192
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,833
but I've been reading about
that very thing.
193
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:13,270
It's called "rough love."
194
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,673
No, I think it's "tough love."
195
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:20,010
Well, see there? We've both come
up with something we oughta try.
196
00:11:30,255 --> 00:11:32,823
Michael?
Hi, Ma. What are you doing up?
197
00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:35,359
Waiting up for you.
I brought you something.
198
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,962
Change for my 40?
199
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:40,097
No, these little
bamboo umbrellas.
200
00:11:41,399 --> 00:11:46,503
These are mine to keep, right?
201
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,773
I stayed up because
I want to talk to you.
202
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,408
I want to know
how the job hunt is going.
203
00:11:51,410 --> 00:11:53,510
There's not much
out there right now.
204
00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:55,913
You're sending out résumés?
Come on, Ma.
205
00:11:55,915 --> 00:11:57,681
Musicians don't
send out résumés -
206
00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,817
it's not like a job job.
207
00:11:59,819 --> 00:12:03,520
No, you're right. A job job
is when you go to work regularly,
208
00:12:03,522 --> 00:12:06,523
bring home a paycheck
and support yourself.
209
00:12:06,525 --> 00:12:09,259
OK. Wait a minute.
What's this all about?
210
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:11,328
Michael, you are 30 years old.
211
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:15,032
I want you to find your own
place, cook your own food,
212
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:18,102
and take responsibility
for your life.
213
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:21,338
But, Ma, that takes money.
214
00:12:21,340 --> 00:12:24,675
That's where
the job job comes in.
215
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,977
So what are you saying?
You're kicking me out?
216
00:12:26,979 --> 00:12:30,480
No. I'm forcing you
to grow up.
217
00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:32,016
Fine, I'll pack my things now.
218
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:34,251
No, wait a minute.
Since I sprung this on you out of the blue,
219
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,521
let's say you can stay here
for another week.
220
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,757
What, and put off growing up?
221
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,124
Nah.
222
00:12:41,126 --> 00:12:43,761
I'm outta here.
223
00:12:52,704 --> 00:12:55,273
(tape plays storm noises)
224
00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:01,612
Rose, what the hell
are you listening to?
225
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:05,048
It's a relaxation tape.
The rain is supposed to relax me.
226
00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:07,718
Is it working?
Not really.
227
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,587
I keep worrying
that I left my car windows down.
228
00:13:14,392 --> 00:13:16,960
Oh, Dorothy,
I feel so helpless.
229
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,496
I get upset every time
I think about it.
230
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,632
Now, look, Rose, stop whining.
231
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,969
You're going to have to speak to
your boss about your workload.
232
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,938
Wallowing in self-pity
is not going to help.
233
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:31,074
How are you feeling, Dorothy?
My life is falling apart.
234
00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:34,077
And now Rose is bothering me.
235
00:13:36,782 --> 00:13:39,650
Dorothy, I'm sorry
I bothered you.
236
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,752
I'm sorry
I snapped at you, Rose.
237
00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:44,921
It's just that I'm upset.
I am very upset.
238
00:13:44,923 --> 00:13:46,524
It is because
you threw Michael out?
239
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,158
No, it's because
I can't make any sense
240
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,794
out of those commercials
for Obsession.
241
00:13:56,735 --> 00:13:59,537
Of course
it's because of Michael.
242
00:14:01,372 --> 00:14:03,908
You just did what you had to.
243
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,110
Blanche,
knowing that does not help.
244
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:08,446
I am going crazy
wondering where he is.
245
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,615
I mean, he could be sleeping
under a pier, for all I know.
246
00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:14,618
Or in some flophouse.
Or out on the street.
247
00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:16,553
Michael called.
He's staying with Stan.
248
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:20,224
Oh, God, it's even
worse than I thought!
249
00:14:20,226 --> 00:14:22,726
At least he can depend
on one of this parents.
250
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:26,563
Look, Ma, I told you why...
I know, and you're wrong.
251
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:28,265
Your brother Phil
is much older than Michael
252
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,567
and I still send him money.
And do you know why?
253
00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:33,871
Where I was brought up, you never
turn your back on family. Never.
254
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,105
I know, Ma.
255
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:36,707
When your crazy cousin Nunzio
256
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,408
started living
with his pet goat,
257
00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:41,912
did the family
turn its back on him? No.
258
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:46,016
And after a couple of nights
neither did the goat.
259
00:14:54,859 --> 00:14:59,096
Dorothy, this really isn't your
problem anymore. It's Michael's.
260
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:02,966
He just has to learn the things
we need to know to be an adult.
261
00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:06,170
Like how to earn a living,
how to pay the rent,
262
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:10,740
how to be courteous to your Friday-night
mistake on Saturday morning.
263
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:15,946
I still have to work
on that last one myself.
264
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:18,715
Why does it have to be so hard?
265
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:22,153
The hardest part for me
was explaining to my Kirsten
266
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:25,122
the difference
between boys and girls.
267
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:28,892
I knew the time had come,
but I kept putting it off.
268
00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:32,195
Finally, I decided it was time
to take the bull by the horns.
269
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,430
So you told her?
270
00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:35,733
No, I took
the bull by the horns,
271
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:39,169
turned him around and showed
her what makes a bull a bull.
272
00:15:41,506 --> 00:15:43,841
You are kidding, Rose?
273
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:47,745
No! That's how
my mother taught me.
274
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:50,647
Honey, didn't that give you
a false impression
275
00:15:50,649 --> 00:15:53,584
about what a man
would look like?
276
00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,587
It sure did.
277
00:15:56,589 --> 00:16:00,290
Can you imagine my surprise on
my wedding night with Charlie?
278
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,493
(laughing)
279
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:05,095
Boy, that bull
would have been jealous.
280
00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:18,008
I just wish somebody could tell
me I've done the right thing.
281
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,410
Yeah, yeah,
you've done the right thing.
282
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:22,346
Rose, tell me
more about Charlie.
283
00:16:23,848 --> 00:16:25,816
Not now, Blanche.
284
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,552
Dorothy, I know you've
done the right thing.
285
00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:30,620
In the animal kingdom,
the whole idea
286
00:16:30,622 --> 00:16:34,491
is to teach offspring
to fend for themselves.
287
00:16:34,493 --> 00:16:37,394
Humans are the only ones
who think it's their duty
288
00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:40,831
to care for children
their entire lives.
289
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:47,538
You know, Rose, sometimes you
really say some wise things.
290
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:50,040
We're also the only species
who use corn holders
291
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:54,311
that look like corn on the cob
when we eat corn on the cob.
292
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:57,948
Oops! Spoke too soon.
293
00:17:09,494 --> 00:17:12,696
Oh, Rose, is your neck
bothering you again?
294
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,265
Yeah. And I'm gonna do
something about it.
295
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:18,235
I'm glad you've come to your senses.
(doorbell)
296
00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:21,238
There is nothing worse
than a pain in the neck.
297
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:28,645
I must be psychic.
298
00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:30,814
Stanley, why are you here?
We need to talk.
299
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:33,016
Let's go in the kitchen.
Is this private?
300
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:36,353
No. I'm hungry -
you got any bagels?
301
00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:37,887
Hello, Rose.
302
00:17:42,526 --> 00:17:45,395
OK, Stanley, what do you wanna talk about?
It's about Michael.
303
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,832
What's wrong? What happened?
Why do you have so many cheesecakes?
304
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:50,334
What about Michael?
305
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:53,404
He's fine.
He's living the life of Riley.
306
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:57,273
I cook his meals, I change
his sheets, I pay his bills.
307
00:17:57,275 --> 00:18:00,510
He's making my life
miserable, Dorothy.
308
00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:03,313
Stanley, pull yourself together.
I'm sorry.
309
00:18:03,315 --> 00:18:05,248
It's not just
the disruption to my life,
310
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,551
it's seeing him
do nothing with his.
311
00:18:07,553 --> 00:18:12,889
Stanley, you took him in. Now it is your
problem, and you have to deal with it.
312
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:16,626
You're right. There's only one thing I
can do, and it's the hardest thing.
313
00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:19,229
You're going to ask Michael
to leave your home.
314
00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:22,999
No. I'm gonna ask you to ask
Michael to leave my home.
315
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:27,904
He already resents you.
Why should he be mad at me too?
316
00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:29,640
I've heard enough.
Get out.
317
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,209
See? You're great
at throwing people out.
318
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:36,413
Stanley, you're going to have to throw
your own son out of your own house.
319
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:37,881
Dorothy, I can't.
320
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:41,352
How can I sit in judgment
of how Michael lives his life?
321
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:44,355
Here I am, a middle-aged man
selling novelties for a living.
322
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,457
Things could've been different
323
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,092
if I'd applied myself
30 years ago.
324
00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:50,560
You could have
invented plastic vomit,
325
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:53,897
instead of just selling it.
326
00:18:53,899 --> 00:18:56,934
Exactly. But Michael's different
- he's got real talent.
327
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,769
I don't want to see him waste it.
Then help him, Stan.
328
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:02,072
How?
Set an example.
329
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:05,275
Show him that it's
never too late to grow up.
330
00:19:06,544 --> 00:19:09,146
You're right.
331
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:13,050
It is time for me
to show some maturity.
332
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,486
I'm gonna be strong, Dorothy -
333
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,321
not just for Michael,
but for myself.
334
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,390
You know something, Stanley?
335
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:22,092
This is a side of you
I rarely see.
336
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:24,995
And I must say,
it's very attractive.
337
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,930
Really?
338
00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:30,033
You wanna fool around?
339
00:19:30,035 --> 00:19:33,270
Oh, yeah.
More than anything.
340
00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:37,841
What is that? Sarcasm?
341
00:19:40,645 --> 00:19:41,912
I'm leaving.
342
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:52,856
More around the eyes.
I'm blending, Enrique.
343
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:54,958
I want my public to trust me.
344
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,827
Enrique Mas
must have honest eyes.
345
00:19:57,829 --> 00:20:01,765
Try number 34. I heard Ted
Koppel uses 34 around the eyes.
346
00:20:01,767 --> 00:20:03,667
(Rose) Enrique.
347
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,535
Rose.
348
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:08,004
Do my eyes look honest enough?
349
00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:11,308
I, uh... See? The lady hesitates.
More around the eyes.
350
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:13,510
Make me Cronkite.
351
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:15,846
Enrique...
352
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:19,382
since I've been working here
I can't move my head anymore,
353
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:23,654
my back hurts, I can't sleep,
I have trouble digesting food,
354
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:26,924
I see spots before my eyes...
355
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:30,460
I'm not a doctor,
but I think it could be stress.
356
00:20:30,462 --> 00:20:31,829
Please.
This sounds very important.
357
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,463
We should discuss this
over coffee.
358
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:37,233
Cream and sugar?
And a treat. Surprise me.
359
00:20:37,235 --> 00:20:39,469
You see, that's part of it.
360
00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:43,674
I can't possibly handle all
the things you give me to do.
361
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,709
Oh, I feel like such a failure.
362
00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:48,745
Here you've trusted me
with a really important job,
363
00:20:48,747 --> 00:20:51,481
and I'm just not doing it.
364
00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:55,184
I know how hard your job is,
and how good you are at it.
365
00:20:55,186 --> 00:20:57,788
Until you started working for
me, my neck was like that.
366
00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:00,290
Well, no wonder I'm cracking.
367
00:21:02,060 --> 00:21:04,427
I don't want you
to crack, Rose.
368
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,795
I need you.
369
00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:08,832
Do you believe that?
Yes.
370
00:21:08,834 --> 00:21:12,102
Enough 34.
371
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:16,640
Really, Rose, speaking from the heart and
not from the makeup, you're the best.
372
00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:20,043
That's why I work you
like a dog - out of respect.
373
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:22,512
Thank you.
But I don't want to kill you.
374
00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:24,681
So I'm going to hire
an assistant for you, Rose.
375
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:28,519
An assistant for me?
I can't believe it!
376
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:31,888
You can't?
I must be fading.
377
00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:34,223
More 34.
378
00:21:34,225 --> 00:21:37,994
Rose, first thing tomorrow
you get your assistant.
379
00:21:41,332 --> 00:21:43,133
(doorbell)
380
00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:52,308
I want you to know that
Dad asked me to leave.
381
00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:54,378
He said he agreed with you.
382
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:57,681
I don't get it - you two
never agreed about anything.
383
00:21:57,683 --> 00:22:00,483
I guess we both agree
that we love you.
384
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,218
Well, you have
a funny way of showing it.
385
00:22:02,220 --> 00:22:05,889
Because of this, I had to call the
band and beg for my job back.
386
00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:08,225
You got it?
Michael, that's wonderful.
387
00:22:08,227 --> 00:22:11,294
Wonderful? It's humiliating.
Oh, Michael.
388
00:22:11,296 --> 00:22:13,964
Look, I gotta catch a bus.
You got my laundry?
389
00:22:15,966 --> 00:22:17,767
Michael,
390
00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:20,103
I want you to know I think
what your mother did was right.
391
00:22:20,105 --> 00:22:23,440
You may not see it now,
but you'll realize it later.
392
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,682
Well, I guess this is goodbye.
393
00:22:38,656 --> 00:22:40,790
See? I came around
to your side.
394
00:22:40,792 --> 00:22:42,492
You gave him money, didn't you?
395
00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:46,729
It's not like it's my money.
I took it from your purse.
396
00:22:46,731 --> 00:22:50,433
Oh, Ma, I don't know
if he'll ever forgive me.
397
00:22:50,435 --> 00:22:52,669
The day you left me
at Shady Pines,
398
00:22:52,671 --> 00:22:54,971
do you remember what I told you?
Of course.
399
00:22:54,973 --> 00:22:56,706
You told me
you'd never forgive me.
400
00:22:56,708 --> 00:22:58,541
But look at us now.
Everything's fine.
401
00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:01,210
You're saying no matter
how bad things are
402
00:23:01,212 --> 00:23:03,980
between Michael and me,
they'll change?
403
00:23:03,982 --> 00:23:06,550
No. I'm saying that
when Michael is 83
404
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:08,685
and his retirement home
burns down,
405
00:23:08,687 --> 00:23:11,020
your...
406
00:23:11,022 --> 00:23:13,890
Oh. That's right -
you'll be dead.
407
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,895
See you, pussycat.
32749
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