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1
00:00:02,434 --> 00:00:06,604
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:06,606 --> 00:00:09,207
♪ Traveled down the roadand back again
3
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:12,077
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:17,014
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:20,085
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:25,590
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:30,028
♪ You would see the biggestgift would be from me
8
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,830
♪ And the card attachedwould say
9
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:38,303
♪ "Thank youfor being a friend" ♪
10
00:01:20,045 --> 00:01:21,713
Rose, what are you doing?
11
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:25,149
I'm diapering a turkey.
12
00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:27,118
It's been so long
since I changed a diaper,
13
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,687
I figured I'd practice
before the baby gets here.
14
00:01:30,623 --> 00:01:33,458
Ma! Hello, Martha.
Where were you?
15
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:34,959
I'll give you a hint.
16
00:01:34,961 --> 00:01:36,628
The guest of honor
had lipstick on her teeth
17
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:38,363
and didn't give a damn.
18
00:01:40,032 --> 00:01:41,732
Who died?
19
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:44,402
My best friend, Lydia.
I'm so sorry.
20
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:47,605
She suffered so. It was
a blessing in disguise.
21
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,908
I always wondered why
blessings wore disguises.
22
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,378
If I were a blessing,
I'd run around naked.
23
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:54,378
(doorbell)
24
00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:55,780
Oh, that must be the baby.
25
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,148
There's a baby coming?
26
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:59,316
A couple from my church
are going camping
27
00:01:59,318 --> 00:02:01,853
over the weekend, and we get
to take care of the baby.
28
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,388
Good. Maybe now you'll get
some food I can chew.
29
00:02:07,093 --> 00:02:08,993
How about a cup of tea, Martha?
30
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:12,630
A little. I made a pig
of myself at the funeral.
31
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,833
It was nice.
Everybody had a good time.
32
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,434
I'm going to miss her so much.
33
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,603
I know.
But you said yourself,
34
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,438
the last few weeks
were so hard on her.
35
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,540
At least now
she's resting peacefully.
36
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:25,010
I feel so bad.
37
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:26,644
Hey, I'm the one
who should feel bad.
38
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:29,647
Lydia and I were wearing
the same dress.
39
00:02:33,985 --> 00:02:35,586
Honey, can we go now?
40
00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:38,022
I've been planning this for months
- a weekend alone in the woods.
41
00:02:38,024 --> 00:02:39,657
It's going to be perfect.
42
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:43,394
It sounds romantic.
Maybe you'll have another baby.
43
00:02:44,863 --> 00:02:47,698
I'd better make sure
we packed everything.
44
00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:50,468
Well, thanks again.
45
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:52,003
Goodbye, Francis.
You be good now.
46
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,372
Now, don't you worry
about a thing.
47
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,808
What a beautiful little thing.
48
00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:59,143
Yes. What is it, Rose?
A boy or a girl?
49
00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:01,713
Of course!
50
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:05,583
I mean, is it Frances
as in Francie,
51
00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,585
or Francis as in Frank?
52
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:10,956
I don't know.
It's wearing yellow.
53
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:13,691
We could find out, Rose.
How?
54
00:03:15,694 --> 00:03:18,362
Put on the Dolphins game
and see if it watches.
55
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:21,566
By looking, Rose!
56
00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:26,371
We could change its diaper,
and see if it has a winky.
57
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,406
A "winky"?
58
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:31,709
That's the scientific term
for it, when it's little.
59
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,280
But the baby isn't wet.
60
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:37,181
We'll change it anyway.
Here you go.
61
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:38,483
Here I go?
62
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:40,118
The best time
to change a diaper
63
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,454
is when there's nothing in it.
64
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:45,089
I'll do it.
You can help me.
65
00:03:45,091 --> 00:03:47,158
OK. Ready?
66
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,828
One, two, three...
67
00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:57,602
(all) Frank.
68
00:04:05,711 --> 00:04:07,478
May I help you, madame?
69
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,647
How d'you know
I'm not a mademoiselle?
70
00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:11,416
Because what man
in his right mind
71
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,252
would leave you
to languish on the vine?
72
00:04:19,124 --> 00:04:23,394
If this was Sicily, you
wouldn't have any lips left.
73
00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,163
Take me to my friend
Martha Lamont's table,
74
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,864
and try not to fall in love.
75
00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:28,632
Miss Lamont is waiting
for you at the bar.
76
00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:32,503
Oh, good. With luck, she found
somebody who'll pay for dinner.
77
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:36,007
Martha!
You look terrific.
78
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,642
Are those new knee-highs?
79
00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:42,146
It's a new attitude -
eat, drink and be merry.
80
00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:53,824
Hey, Jacques.
81
00:04:53,826 --> 00:04:56,695
Gimme a hand, and watch
where you put it.
82
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:07,371
That was better
than I thought it would be.
83
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,741
Now I can't wait to get down.
84
00:05:11,276 --> 00:05:13,444
Hi. Can I get
you ladies drinks?
85
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:16,914
I'll have a Manhattan.
And don't slip me any of the cheap stuff.
86
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:19,016
I'll have another
Harvey Wallbanger.
87
00:05:19,018 --> 00:05:22,220
You've seen quite a bit
of Mr. Wallbanger tonight.
88
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:23,588
I'm celebrating,
89
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:27,091
because I've just had an idea
that will change my life.
90
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:29,594
Order anything you like.
91
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,762
I'm going to have
the shrimp cocktail,
92
00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:33,464
the cream of mushroom soup,
93
00:05:33,466 --> 00:05:35,366
asparagus
with hollandaise sauce,
94
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,101
and the filet mignon.
95
00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:38,903
I like cholesterol
as much as the next guy,
96
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:42,439
but you're never gonna get
blood to your feet again.
97
00:05:44,176 --> 00:05:46,778
I'd like to drink a toast.
98
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:50,748
To Sophia, whom I hope
I can count on.
99
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,516
For what?
100
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:56,154
Get your lips off Harvey
and tell me what you want!
101
00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,957
Since you mentioned it, I want
you to do something for me.
102
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:01,425
I want you to come over
to my place tomorrow night.
103
00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:03,094
What, is it your birthday?
104
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:06,063
Sophia, there aren't going
to be any more birthdays.
105
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:08,032
What are you telling me?
106
00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,301
I have so many things
wrong with me -
107
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,236
arthritis, high blood pressure,
108
00:06:12,238 --> 00:06:14,672
angina, just to mention a few.
109
00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:16,574
Who doesn't? You can't
get into a canasta game
110
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:19,977
unless you have at least
two debilitating diseases.
111
00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:22,713
Your table is ready, mesdames.
112
00:06:28,186 --> 00:06:30,087
I don't know, for me
it was better the first time.
113
00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:31,955
What do you think?
114
00:06:31,957 --> 00:06:34,692
Right this way, please.
115
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:37,495
So why do you want me to be
at your house tomorrow?
116
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:40,798
I want you to be there
when I kill myself.
117
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,037
(Francis crying)
What is it, Blanche?
118
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:50,341
I can't quite make it out.
I think my eyes are tired.
119
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,042
Your eyes are old.
120
00:06:53,445 --> 00:06:55,813
Blanche, when are you gonna
admit you need glasses?
121
00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,781
I do not need glasses.
122
00:06:57,783 --> 00:07:01,218
My mother didn't need glasses
till the day she died.
123
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:03,021
And then it seemed silly.
124
00:07:04,823 --> 00:07:06,524
What is his temperature,
Blanche?
125
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,660
I do not know, Dorothy.
126
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:13,097
Even with perfect eyesight, nobody
can read one of these things.
127
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:16,968
Oh, my God. It's 103.2!
128
00:07:20,171 --> 00:07:22,340
The poor baby!
129
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,907
We'd better contact
his parents.
130
00:07:23,909 --> 00:07:25,909
They're out in the woods
somewh-
131
00:07:25,911 --> 00:07:27,678
We'd better call Harry.
132
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,180
We're very lucky we have a
pediatrician right down the street.
133
00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:32,784
No, that's a bad idea.
Why?
134
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,387
Because by the time I get my
hair done and my face on,
135
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,455
that baby could be
in serious trouble.
136
00:07:38,457 --> 00:07:40,291
Let's call his real
pediatrician.
137
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,760
OK. Pediatrician. Pe...
138
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:45,028
Here it is.
Dr. Harry Weston.
139
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:48,166
Oh, God! Oh, come on,
Blanche, he's a doctor.
140
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,801
He's used to seeing people
at their worst.
141
00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:56,374
And if you comb your hair, you
can be right in that ball park.
142
00:07:57,876 --> 00:07:59,944
Harry? Dorothy.
143
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:02,213
Listen, I'm so sorry I have
to call you at home,
144
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:04,215
but we're taking care
of the Lillistrand baby,
145
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:07,018
and he's running
a very high fever.
146
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,387
Could you come over right away?
147
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:12,190
No, this is not Blanche
playing a joke.
148
00:08:14,926 --> 00:08:17,061
Thanks, Harry.
Thanks very much.
149
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,396
He's coming?
Right away.
150
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:19,898
I'd better freshen up.
151
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,900
Blanche, he is not
coming over to look at you.
152
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,902
He's coming over to look
at the baby.
153
00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:27,138
I will be holding the baby,
next to my bosom.
154
00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:31,509
What a magnificent picture.
155
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,445
God, I wish that thing
didn't look so sickly.
156
00:08:35,981 --> 00:08:38,248
(crying continues)
157
00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:39,918
I don't care if you are
paying for dinner.
158
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,886
What you wanna do is crazy.
159
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:43,721
It's time to go, Sophia.
160
00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:46,090
I don't want to see
another Monday.
161
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:49,026
I don't want to wait,
and end up going like Lydia.
162
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,595
I'm going to decide
when it's over.
163
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:54,766
I always thought somebody
named God did that.
164
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,834
You don't understand.
165
00:08:56,836 --> 00:09:00,337
I'm afraid of the pain,
of the hurting.
166
00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:03,374
I'm afraid of being alone,
of dying alone.
167
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,143
I can take the pills myself,
168
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,678
but I want you to be there
and hold my hand.
169
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,081
You're right,
I don't understand.
170
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:13,151
I'd do anything to stay alive.
If my heart stopped beating,
171
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:16,520
I'd want every doctor in town
jumping up and down on my chest.
172
00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:19,891
You say that now,
173
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,493
but I don't have
the courage to die by inches.
174
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:25,229
I'm going to do it,
whether you're there or not.
175
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:29,033
I don't want to die alone.
Please, help me.
176
00:09:41,179 --> 00:09:44,648
(Francis crying)
177
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:53,024
Dorothy, do you think this looks
alluring and yet nurselike?
178
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,092
I don't know, Blanche.
179
00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:59,263
Maybe the earrings
put it over the top.
180
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,764
Oh, no, I did that
for the baby -
181
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,266
they love shiny things.
182
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,934
Listen, maybe you two
oughtta wait
183
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,404
in the kitchen with the kid.
184
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:07,805
(doorbell)
185
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:10,574
Oh, I'll get it. Freeze!
Don't go near that door.
186
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:12,109
Gimme that thing.
187
00:10:15,981 --> 00:10:19,317
Hello, Frank, darling.
(coos)
188
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:22,153
How do I look?
189
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:25,690
It's all wrong, Blanche.
The baby doesn't match your shoes.
190
00:10:29,728 --> 00:10:32,796
Hello, ladies! (Dorothy) Oh,
Harry, thanks so much for coming over.
191
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:36,134
Frank! Frank, talk to me.
What's going on here?
192
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,369
He isn't feeling very well,
193
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:41,271
so we thought we'd have you
over for a drink.
194
00:10:45,143 --> 00:10:48,512
Hey, why don't we just forget
the baby and go dancing?
195
00:10:48,514 --> 00:10:49,713
Oh!
196
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,516
Blanche, that is some outfit!
197
00:10:52,518 --> 00:10:54,852
What do you call that?
198
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:57,622
A negligee.
199
00:10:57,624 --> 00:11:00,357
Brings back fond memories.
200
00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:02,426
My mother used to have one
just like it.
201
00:11:05,163 --> 00:11:08,599
Here, take him -
he's wet.
202
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,267
Well, somebody better
change him,
203
00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:11,935
or he'll get a rash
on his winky.
204
00:11:14,773 --> 00:11:16,774
We're sorry we had
to disturb you, Harry,
205
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,476
but he's running
a fever of 103.
206
00:11:19,478 --> 00:11:21,145
What do you think it is?
207
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:23,914
He could be teething,
it could be the flu.
208
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:26,917
Maybe he's just
a hypochondriac.
209
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:29,287
Really?
210
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,288
Well, let's take a look.
211
00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:34,225
So, you've been keeping these
ladies busy, have you?
212
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,726
Oh, I didn't mind.
213
00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:39,263
I have such a highly
developed maternal instinct.
214
00:11:44,803 --> 00:11:47,838
Uh, I was talking
to the baby, Blanche.
215
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,374
Any other symptoms?
Rash or...?
216
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,177
No, he was fine one minute,
and running a fever the next.
217
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:55,879
Is it the usual? Huh?
218
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,882
Yeah. Frank tends to get ear
infections from time to time.
219
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:02,687
Is he gonna be all right? He'll be fine.
We'll keep a close watch on him.
220
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,922
Give him four drops
of this right now,
221
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:06,557
and then once every two hours.
222
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,626
Give him plenty of fluids
so he doesn't get dehydrated.
223
00:12:09,628 --> 00:12:12,263
And I'll check
back on you tomorrow.
224
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,732
When are we supposed to sleep?
225
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,501
Not that I mind.
I was born to heal.
226
00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:20,270
Heel, Blanche!
227
00:12:21,306 --> 00:12:22,907
Welcome back
to motherhood, ladies.
228
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,642
I'm sure you were good mothers
and you remember what to do.
229
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:28,379
Blanche, watch the others.
You look like you pick up things quickly.
230
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:29,814
Gotta go.
231
00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,115
Bye.
232
00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:40,924
(Francis crying)
233
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,860
What is wrong with this baby?
234
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:48,031
Honey, darling, please
shut up for Aunt Blanche!
235
00:12:48,033 --> 00:12:49,900
You know, back in St. Olaf,
236
00:12:49,902 --> 00:12:52,702
we had a surefire method
for getting babies to sleep.
237
00:12:52,704 --> 00:12:54,905
If herring, elk,
or anyone named Sven
238
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:58,409
figures in this,
I don't wanna hear it.
239
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,211
OK, I've got another one.
240
00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:03,948
Whenever my kids couldn't sleep,
we always sang to them.
241
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:07,418
A lullaby?
Sort of. "Mr. Sandman."
242
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,553
Oh, I don't know, Rose...
243
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:12,123
Dorothy, come on.
It's worth a try.
244
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,191
It's either we sing
or he sings.
245
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:16,227
Oh, all right.
246
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,428
♪ Boom
247
00:13:21,666 --> 00:13:23,701
♪ Boom
248
00:13:25,403 --> 00:13:26,770
Well?
Well what?
249
00:13:26,772 --> 00:13:29,539
After my "boom" comes your
"boom," and then yours -
250
00:13:29,541 --> 00:13:32,643
until we're all "boom"ing.
251
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:36,046
How complicated
is that herring thing?
252
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:38,515
♪ Boom ♪ Boom, boom, boom
253
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:39,917
♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom
254
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:42,319
♪ Boom ♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom
255
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,188
♪ Boom ♪ Boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom
256
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:45,723
♪ Boom ♪ Boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom
257
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,892
♪ Mr. Sandman
258
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:50,094
♪ Bring me a dream
♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom
259
00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:52,897
♪ Make him the cutest
that I've ever seen
260
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:54,231
♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom
261
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,834
♪ Give him two lips
like roses and clover
262
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,235
♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom
263
00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:01,371
♪ Then tell him that
his lonesome nights are over
264
00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:03,908
(silence)
265
00:14:11,482 --> 00:14:12,549
(crying)
266
00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:16,086
(resume song)
267
00:14:19,557 --> 00:14:21,992
♪ Mr. Sandman
(deep) ♪ Yes?
268
00:14:21,994 --> 00:14:23,827
♪ Bring me a dream
269
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:28,232
♪ Make him the cutest
that I've ever seen
270
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:32,035
♪ Give him the word
that I'm not a rover
271
00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:35,005
♪ Then tell him that
his lonesome nights are over
272
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:38,209
♪ Mr. Sandman
273
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,744
♪ I'm so alone...
274
00:14:42,046 --> 00:14:45,549
Boy, you guys really stink.
275
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:48,285
We were just singing
the baby to sleep.
276
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,888
It was waking me up.
277
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,389
Maybe we ought to go
out in the kitchen.
278
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,557
So we can talk.
279
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:56,993
So we can eat.
Better.
280
00:14:56,995 --> 00:15:00,430
Ma, we're sorry
our singing woke you.
281
00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:04,134
It wasn't you.
I had a horrible nightmare.
282
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:06,904
I dreamt my Uncle Giuseppe
came down from heaven
283
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,706
and was pointing
a finger at me.
284
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:11,642
I think it was a finger.
285
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:18,415
And he was warning me - if I did a certain
thing, I wouldn't get into heaven.
286
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:21,084
What thing?
Try murder.
287
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,286
It was just a dream, Sophia.
288
00:15:23,288 --> 00:15:25,822
It's not just a dream for me.
289
00:15:25,824 --> 00:15:27,591
Martha wants to commit suicide,
290
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:31,128
and she wants me
to be there with her.
291
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,263
And what did you say?
292
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,965
I said I'd think about it.
293
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:38,168
You can't say no to somebody
who pops for a $75 dinner.
294
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,504
Tell them, Blanche.
295
00:15:47,278 --> 00:15:50,113
Ma, I can't believe that
you're seriously considering
296
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,750
getting involved in this!
297
00:15:52,752 --> 00:15:56,086
Martha's a sick woman.
And she doesn't wanna get any sicker.
298
00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:58,755
She's gonna do it anyway,
so why should she die alone?
299
00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,490
This is wrong, Sophia.
300
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:02,893
Forget about whether
this is right or wrong.
301
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:05,495
Ma, I'm worried about you!
302
00:16:05,497 --> 00:16:07,831
When Martha takes
those pills or whatever
303
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:10,867
and the life drains out of her,
304
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:15,205
you're gonna be
in that room, alone.
305
00:16:15,207 --> 00:16:18,909
What are you gonna do, Ma?
How are you gonna feel?
306
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:21,178
I don't know,
but I'll deal with it.
307
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:23,714
When my time comes,
I sure want somebody
308
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,684
to put me out of my misery
if something tragic happens -
309
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:32,255
like I get a fatal illness,
or I've lost my looks.
310
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:36,960
Tell us when, Blanche.
311
00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:41,031
Ma, I forbid you to do this.
312
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:43,233
Sometimes you forget -
I'm the mother here.
313
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:44,468
That has nothing
to do with this.
314
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,102
It has everything
to do with this.
315
00:16:46,104 --> 00:16:49,239
In the 25 years I have on you,
I've learned something.
316
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:53,077
I just wish I could
remember what it is.
317
00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:54,878
Oh, yeah, I got it.
318
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,948
It's not whether you agree
or disagree with somebody.
319
00:16:57,950 --> 00:17:01,118
It's whether you can be there for
that person when they need you.
320
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,854
Sophia, I can't believe
you're doing this.
321
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,556
You know, this reminds me
of the story
322
00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:08,159
of Gunilla Ulf's daughter,
323
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,961
St. Olaf's very own
angel of death.
324
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:13,430
Tell it, Rose. Tell it.
325
00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:15,699
Really?
All the way through?
326
00:17:17,268 --> 00:17:20,003
All the way through.
But please try to make the end
327
00:17:20,005 --> 00:17:23,940
come as close to the
beginning as possible.
328
00:17:23,942 --> 00:17:26,110
Well, Gunilla Ulf's
daughter was a nurse
329
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:29,546
at Cedars
of St. Olaf Hospital.
330
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:33,184
One night she was taking care
of Sven Bjornsson,
331
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:34,919
and he asked her
if she would get him
332
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:38,122
some more mouth moisteners
and then kill him.
333
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:41,492
Gunilla brought the mouth
moisteners right away,
334
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,093
but the killing thing
335
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:46,129
seemed to go against
everything she'd been taught.
336
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:48,432
You're doing beautifully, Rose.
337
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,467
He begged and he begged,
338
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:53,103
and by her coffee break, she
couldn't stand it anymore,
339
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:56,907
so she pulled
the plug and he died.
340
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,943
Well, she was racked
with guilt that night.
341
00:17:59,945 --> 00:18:05,882
Not only had she parked
her car in a doctor's spot,
342
00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:09,019
but she was never sure
whether Sven's pleading
343
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,655
was the pain talking,
or the medication talking,
344
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:14,091
or the guy
in the next bed talking!
345
00:18:16,494 --> 00:18:19,496
You see, the guy in the next
bed was Ingmar von Bergen,
346
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:23,199
St. Olaf's meanest
ventriloquist.
347
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:33,711
Rose, we are going somewhere
with this, aren't we?
348
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:37,715
I mean, if not, I'm gonna
cut out your tongue.
349
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:38,849
Yes!
350
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,585
Sven came back
to haunt Gunilla -
351
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:44,521
since then,
every Tuesday night at ten.
352
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:48,859
Nine, Central time.
Oh!
353
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,794
She hears noises.
354
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,163
Some say it's the wind, but...
355
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:55,332
some say it's Sven's voice
356
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,768
whispering back
from the other side,
357
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:01,505
saying, "Turn around quick -
his lips are moving."
358
00:19:08,145 --> 00:19:11,515
You see that, Ma?
359
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:12,883
You kill someone,
360
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:17,321
you end up being a Rose story.
361
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,089
Is this what you want?
362
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:21,725
Dorothy, I'll worry
about me later.
363
00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,427
I gotta do this.
364
00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:26,530
Goodnight, pussycat.
365
00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:36,973
(gasps)
366
00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:38,208
You came.
367
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:39,309
I said I would.
368
00:19:39,311 --> 00:19:43,013
Come in.
Come in and sit down.
369
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,449
I have something to show you.
370
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:48,986
Look, ten carats,
and not a flaw.
371
00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:52,756
I bought it today, on time.
(chuckles)
372
00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,325
Very nice.
373
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:57,094
Look, I was thinking,
374
00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:58,996
maybe you shouldn't
go through with this...
375
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,530
No, I have to go.
376
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,100
I've never felt so happy.
377
00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:04,734
Do you like the ring?
378
00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:07,971
Reminds me of a doorknob
I had back in Brooklyn.
379
00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,606
What are you doing?
380
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:12,242
Just my way
of saying thank you.
381
00:20:12,244 --> 00:20:14,711
Well, I think I've
taken care of everything.
382
00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:18,048
Now, you'll see to it that they
don't put lipstick on my teeth.
383
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:22,352
Don't worry. I'll take them out
and check them personally.
384
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,622
Well...
385
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,923
I guess...
386
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:29,960
it's time to go.
387
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:31,995
You will hold my hand?
388
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,630
Sure I will.
389
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:36,900
I'm so glad
I don't have to go alone.
390
00:20:38,936 --> 00:20:41,972
Uh... d'you remember
how we met?
391
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,907
Yes. About eight years ago.
392
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,642
We shared a room
in the hospital.
393
00:20:45,644 --> 00:20:48,278
You had the heart scare,
I was the gall bladder.
394
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,447
They gave you my sponge bath
by mistake.
395
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:52,816
You ate my Jell-O.
It was a horrible little room.
396
00:20:52,818 --> 00:20:54,685
We couldn't wait
to get out of it.
397
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:57,287
Because we wanted to live.
Yes. I remember.
398
00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,857
Remember better.
Remember life.
399
00:21:01,726 --> 00:21:03,660
I don't have much of one.
400
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,462
I'm not like you.
401
00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:08,432
You live with friends
and family,
402
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,668
holidays and warmth.
403
00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:14,604
I hear the silence.
404
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:16,640
We'll talk. We'll talk
all the time.
405
00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:18,108
You can come over Thanksgiving,
406
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,810
Christmas, every Friday night.
407
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:24,114
I may not be there, but you
could always talk to Rose.
408
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:27,784
No, I want to go.
Lydia looked so peaceful.
409
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:30,454
We're not in this life
for peace!
410
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:31,955
You're crying!
411
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:34,090
No, I'm not. I don't cry.
I can see your tears.
412
00:21:34,092 --> 00:21:36,026
I can see yours.
Know what that tells me?
413
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:39,295
What? You're not as ready to
die as you think you are.
414
00:21:39,297 --> 00:21:41,164
You still wanna live, kid.
415
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:43,701
Some kid!
416
00:21:43,703 --> 00:21:45,602
I don't know what to do.
417
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:47,571
That's the point.
If you're not sure,
418
00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:49,573
you can't change
your mind tomorrow.
419
00:21:49,575 --> 00:21:52,041
You wanted me to be here
for your death.
420
00:21:52,043 --> 00:21:55,345
How about letting me
be here for your life?
421
00:21:55,347 --> 00:21:57,915
Like a friend?
422
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,083
Like a best friend.
423
00:22:11,762 --> 00:22:14,631
Dorothy, honey, sit down.
Pacing isn't gonna help.
424
00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:17,400
I just can't stop
thinking about Ma.
425
00:22:17,402 --> 00:22:20,604
Look at that!
Perfect - 98.6.
426
00:22:20,606 --> 00:22:23,773
Yeah, that's what
it looks like to me.
427
00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:26,543
Thank God! That means
he's better.
428
00:22:26,545 --> 00:22:28,612
Here. I'm pooped.
429
00:22:28,614 --> 00:22:30,647
I guess there must be a reason
430
00:22:30,649 --> 00:22:35,952
why women have babies when
they're 20ish instead of 40ish.
431
00:22:35,954 --> 00:22:37,821
Blanche, the only thing
in this room
432
00:22:37,823 --> 00:22:40,757
that's 40ish is your hairdo.
433
00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:44,895
Ma.
434
00:22:44,897 --> 00:22:47,063
It's OK.
She changed her mind.
435
00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:49,299
Oh, Ma, Thank God!
I know, Dorothy. I know.
436
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:52,135
(doorbell rings) That
must be the Lillistrands.
437
00:22:52,137 --> 00:22:55,205
Frank, we love you,
but you are out of here.
438
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,739
Gimme a minute.
439
00:22:56,741 --> 00:22:58,241
Sure.
440
00:23:01,045 --> 00:23:04,447
Listen, you.
You're just starting out.
441
00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:06,950
You're in for the long haul.
442
00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:08,485
Keep your seat belt on -
443
00:23:08,487 --> 00:23:10,954
there are lots of twists
and turns.
444
00:23:10,956 --> 00:23:14,424
(crying)
445
00:23:14,426 --> 00:23:17,794
Stop that, or they're gonna
come in here and sing again!
33302
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