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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:28,009 --> 00:03:28,841 I have a few more ques... 2 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:34,816 I can't make it stop! 3 00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:00,742 I used to make things without it all being so complicated. 4 00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,479 I was 22. 5 00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:07,482 Hold! 6 00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,082 I'm gonna come in and get wide. 7 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,722 - You ready for wide, ma? - Mhmm. 8 00:04:15,223 --> 00:04:17,288 Gazing upon my mom. 9 00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:19,927 Go down to Barbara's feet. 10 00:04:21,162 --> 00:04:22,563 One of them. 11 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,030 Go! 12 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,237 A parallax fantasy. 13 00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:35,074 My mom performs her period piece. 14 00:04:35,076 --> 00:04:39,480 The mime-ic embodiment of the ovaries. 15 00:04:39,981 --> 00:04:41,346 Fallopian tubes. 16 00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:43,048 Uterus. 17 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,819 Cervix. 18 00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,588 Ovulation. 19 00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:52,992 The creation of the egg. 20 00:04:52,994 --> 00:04:54,796 Its release. 21 00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,264 Its journey. 22 00:04:57,364 --> 00:04:59,199 Its weight. 23 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:04,872 Menstruation. 24 00:05:10,545 --> 00:05:12,278 Stay right where you are. 25 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:15,413 And I never showed this film to anyone. 26 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,082 I'm sorry, are you cold? 27 00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:17,817 No, I'm just like... 28 00:05:17,819 --> 00:05:19,484 I'll warm up for a second! 29 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,653 It's, it's, it's... 30 00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:22,387 I promise it looks good. 31 00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,488 You can't even really see your feet. 32 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,693 Okay, are you ready? 33 00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:29,797 Many years after this, I received an email. 34 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,598 It was from a new website. 35 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:34,669 They wanted content based on a theme. 36 00:05:35,236 --> 00:05:37,335 Female trouble. 37 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,806 They wanted to know if I wanted to pitch an idea. 38 00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:43,478 I wrote back, "is this a John waters thing?" 39 00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:45,945 They wrote back, "no." 40 00:05:45,947 --> 00:05:49,414 She created this mime-ic... 41 00:05:49,416 --> 00:05:51,884 Still I had heard that the website had a lot of money. 42 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,791 And I thought of my mom's period piece. 43 00:05:58,292 --> 00:06:00,192 At the meeting, I was nervous. 44 00:06:00,194 --> 00:06:02,663 Sweating, undulating. 45 00:06:03,064 --> 00:06:04,632 Just like my mom. 46 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:06,966 The one who's a mime. 47 00:06:06,968 --> 00:06:08,968 My mom is a mime. 48 00:06:08,970 --> 00:06:11,338 I pitched the full performance, 49 00:06:12,173 --> 00:06:14,139 this time complete with comedic sound effects. 50 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:27,686 Everybody was laughing and I was sweating, 51 00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,588 and they even floated the idea of someday 52 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,091 making a feature film together. 53 00:06:32,093 --> 00:06:33,461 are you married to this idea? 54 00:06:34,195 --> 00:06:36,394 Or are you open to, I don't know, 55 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,467 maybe something more narrative? 56 00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:43,102 At the end of it all, 57 00:06:43,104 --> 00:06:46,007 we shook hands and they promised to be in touch. 58 00:06:50,211 --> 00:06:52,547 I went home, I waited. 59 00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,851 I felt dirty for dragging my moms into that building. 60 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,721 A week later I received an email. 61 00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,823 The website liked me, 62 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,126 but they thought that my idea was too 63 00:07:07,128 --> 00:07:08,260 Ass-oteric. 64 00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,997 I didn't know what ass-oteric meant, 65 00:07:11,999 --> 00:07:14,600 so I asked my new boyfriend. 66 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:16,537 He said it was pronounced with an "ES", 67 00:07:17,038 --> 00:07:19,707 not an "ASS", and told me to look it up. 68 00:07:25,146 --> 00:07:27,212 Esoteric. 69 00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,381 Adjective from es ter , 70 00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:30,718 meaning inner. 71 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:34,320 Intended for or likely to be understood by 72 00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:36,657 only a small number of people. 73 00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,492 Esoteric. 74 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,428 Esoteric. 75 00:07:40,995 --> 00:07:42,995 Esoteric. 76 00:07:42,997 --> 00:07:45,066 I didn't know what was so 77 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:48,736 esoteric about my mom's period piece. 78 00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:51,469 The website wanted to know if I wanted 79 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,040 to direct a different video. 80 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,307 One in which little girls talked about 81 00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:56,878 what they dreamed of being when they grew up. 82 00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,080 But instead of little girl dreams, 83 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,479 it was little boy dreams. 84 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,784 You know, lawyer, 85 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,351 fireman, 86 00:08:05,353 --> 00:08:07,054 football player, 87 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,457 filmmaker. 88 00:08:10,992 --> 00:08:13,325 I wished I was the kind of person 89 00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:15,496 who wanted to direct that video. 90 00:08:16,731 --> 00:08:18,130 I wished because... 91 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:22,901 Movies about the pain of being female 92 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,436 were awash with money. 93 00:08:27,141 --> 00:08:27,740 But instead I wrote... 94 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,376 Dear so and so, 95 00:08:30,378 --> 00:08:32,745 I think that probably 96 00:08:32,747 --> 00:08:35,280 the most "female" thing for me to do 97 00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:38,217 would be to "realize" your "vision" 98 00:08:38,219 --> 00:08:40,955 and "direct" this video. 99 00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:45,024 That being said, as a person, 100 00:08:45,026 --> 00:08:47,726 I don't think the idea is a good one. 101 00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,498 And I hate not having a choice. 102 00:08:52,033 --> 00:08:54,833 A better video would be of a female filmmaker 103 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,935 pitching an idea to a website, 104 00:08:56,937 --> 00:09:00,039 and the website calling the idea ass-oteric. 105 00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:02,374 And then telling the female filmmaker what to do. 106 00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:06,113 And then I signed it. 107 00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:11,383 And maybe the most female trouble part of it all was 108 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,918 that I walked into that meeting 109 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,855 having already made a feature film. 110 00:09:16,157 --> 00:09:18,526 But I didn't have the words to say it. 111 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,801 I don't feel female. 112 00:09:28,069 --> 00:09:29,802 Until somebody tells me I am. 113 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:39,745 Dude, you got this. 114 00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,082 Just like say action with authority. 115 00:09:45,086 --> 00:09:47,188 Right, left. 116 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,687 - And you say... - Action. 117 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,257 Action. 118 00:09:50,624 --> 00:09:52,026 - Action. Action. - Action. 119 00:09:52,493 --> 00:09:54,093 - Action! - Just yell it! 120 00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:55,997 - Action. Action. - Action. Action. 121 00:09:56,464 --> 00:09:58,531 Action! 122 00:09:58,533 --> 00:09:59,566 - Action! - Action! 123 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,101 Action! 124 00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:05,172 Okay, it starts here. 125 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:07,174 12 years ago. 126 00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:10,711 The day I drove past the lake. 127 00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:14,113 The lake whose shore was home 128 00:10:14,115 --> 00:10:17,182 to one of the us of a's first moving picture studios, 129 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,887 specializing in damsel and distress films 130 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,488 the lake so deep 131 00:10:22,490 --> 00:10:24,557 that after the studio's flammable nitrate films 132 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:26,027 were thrown into it, 133 00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:27,928 they were never recovered. 134 00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:34,366 I drove past the lake and into my hometown. 135 00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:38,139 A hometown with that Hill filled with failed communes. 136 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,743 The same communes that my moms 137 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,277 and dad fled to. 138 00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,784 In my hometown as a young woman, 139 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,656 I felt the vicious cycle of birth. 140 00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:59,860 Giving birth and death. 141 00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:13,040 Nevertheless I returned home to make this film, 142 00:11:14,609 --> 00:11:19,013 my first feature film with my family and my friends. 143 00:11:22,416 --> 00:11:24,149 I was 25. 144 00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:35,494 so good. 145 00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:39,800 Hey vita! How do I look? 146 00:11:39,934 --> 00:11:41,902 Is that them? 147 00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,202 Yeah, you haven't met them? 148 00:11:43,204 --> 00:11:44,571 No. 149 00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:46,307 Holy shit, you're so shy. 150 00:11:46,541 --> 00:11:48,109 Hey guys, come on. 151 00:11:48,643 --> 00:11:49,542 - Circle up! - Circle up! 152 00:11:49,544 --> 00:11:50,842 I have a couple of announcements 153 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:53,180 before we get started. 154 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:57,015 So the first announcement is 155 00:11:57,017 --> 00:12:00,786 I trust you all so inherently and implicitly, 156 00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:03,488 and chemically and emotionally 157 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,693 and spiritually, conceptually, 158 00:12:06,695 --> 00:12:08,260 no matter what, 159 00:12:08,262 --> 00:12:09,997 and I really hope you can trust me too. 160 00:12:10,364 --> 00:12:13,098 We are all the authors of this film. 161 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,333 And the second announcement, thank you, 162 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,869 Is that there's this old guy 163 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,004 who lives down the road from my moms'. 164 00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:20,405 He will offer you weed. 165 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,840 It is goblin weed. 166 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:23,643 Do not smoke it. Do not smoke it. 167 00:12:23,645 --> 00:12:25,177 I'm telling you... 168 00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,613 - I have to smoke goblin weed! - Do not smoke weed. 169 00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:29,414 - If a goblin offers me weed... - Powerful little shit! 170 00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:33,018 The crew consisted of Sam, the assistant director. 171 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,655 - Not the producer? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 172 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,989 Alexis, the cinematographer. 173 00:12:36,991 --> 00:12:37,923 But we're more like sisters. 174 00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:38,725 Bobby. 175 00:12:38,727 --> 00:12:39,891 Hi! Pleasure. 176 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:41,962 Alexis's assistant. 177 00:12:42,664 --> 00:12:44,698 She had given him head once. 178 00:12:44,733 --> 00:12:46,367 JJ, the designer. 179 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,867 I had given him head twice. 180 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:52,037 And... Dustin. 181 00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,905 - Hey baby, you're back! - It's good to be back! 182 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:55,708 - Hi baby. - Hey. Hey. 183 00:12:55,710 --> 00:12:57,809 - How you doing? - I'm good. 184 00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,478 I had this like really intense dream 185 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:00,647 that you were like with someone else, 186 00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:01,880 and I like woke up with 187 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:02,881 this like weird taste in my mouth. 188 00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,819 - Sorry. - No, it's fine. 189 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:07,720 - It's all just a dream. - Yeah. 190 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,122 Hey, I got a 191 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,694 It's like a little 192 00:13:14,428 --> 00:13:16,096 heart-shaped rock 193 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:19,064 for luck or something. 194 00:13:19,066 --> 00:13:20,667 - So nice. Thank you. - Yeah. 195 00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:22,901 Okay, I gotta get back to work. 196 00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,236 Okay guys, let's go! Let's go! 197 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:24,704 Let's do it. Let's make a movie. 198 00:13:24,706 --> 00:13:25,571 Yeah! 199 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:27,973 Uh, what about him? 200 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,041 Oh great, sound guy. 201 00:13:29,043 --> 00:13:30,344 Wait, tell me your name again. 202 00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:32,411 I'm so fucking bad at remembering names. 203 00:13:33,648 --> 00:13:35,180 Oh shit, Sam, Sam, Sam. 204 00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,784 That's the guy. Can you talk to him? 205 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:37,849 - Um, Vita? - Yeah? 206 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,351 You gonna introduce me? 207 00:13:39,353 --> 00:13:41,088 Oh, right! Okay guys, guys, wait. 208 00:13:41,556 --> 00:13:43,090 This is Dina. 209 00:13:43,591 --> 00:13:45,023 This is Dina. 210 00:13:46,795 --> 00:13:47,392 Go ahead, introduce yourself. 211 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:48,963 Okay... 212 00:13:49,363 --> 00:13:52,766 Hi, I'm Dina. I've never been in a film before. 213 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,033 I play the main character. 214 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:56,471 I don't think she has a name yet. 215 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,771 But I've watched tons of movies. 216 00:13:58,773 --> 00:14:00,038 All right, let's get into it. 217 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,708 - Yeah! - Okay! 218 00:14:04,546 --> 00:14:06,046 Oh, uh, phones! So... 219 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:09,414 It was the middle of what could be described 220 00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:12,886 as a revolutionary decade in moving images. 221 00:14:14,455 --> 00:14:17,523 The aftermath of a world financial collapse 222 00:14:17,525 --> 00:14:20,225 coupled with the rise of the first affordable 223 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:23,629 and professional digital moving image cameras 224 00:14:23,631 --> 00:14:26,164 created an era of micro budget film making. 225 00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:32,805 I had four thousand five hundred 226 00:14:32,807 --> 00:14:34,509 and twenty-five dollars. 227 00:14:34,676 --> 00:14:36,243 Action. 228 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,048 Action. 229 00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:44,751 So we did what we had to do. 230 00:14:44,753 --> 00:14:46,186 Squeeze in! 231 00:14:46,721 --> 00:14:48,019 We begged, 232 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:49,524 we borrowed, 233 00:14:49,791 --> 00:14:50,656 we stole. 234 00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:56,196 And before we get too far, I should tell you, 235 00:14:57,699 --> 00:14:58,798 It was bad. 236 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:03,837 And I was on a lot of Adderall, 237 00:15:05,673 --> 00:15:08,106 which is probably why 238 00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,344 I can't remember the sound guy's name. 239 00:15:24,258 --> 00:15:25,858 Vita, he's almost here! 240 00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:27,225 Oh, oh, okay! 241 00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:27,993 - Yeah, okay. - Okay. 242 00:15:30,264 --> 00:15:32,230 How we doing? We good? 243 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,231 Okay, great! Great, great, great, great. 244 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,232 Forty five seconds! 245 00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,967 Oh shit! Oh, all right. Here we go. 246 00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:36,736 Here we go! We're ready! We're ready. 247 00:15:36,738 --> 00:15:37,737 Okay. Okay. 248 00:15:38,606 --> 00:15:40,338 All right, guys! 249 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,774 Alright, JJ, get the fuck out! Come on! 250 00:15:41,776 --> 00:15:43,576 Guys! We gotta go, we gotta go! 251 00:15:43,578 --> 00:15:44,777 Buddy, get out... 252 00:15:44,779 --> 00:15:46,011 We gotta go! Let's go! Let's... 253 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,547 JJ! Come on, come on! 254 00:15:47,549 --> 00:15:48,781 We gotta go! Okay... 255 00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:50,351 - And... - Hold on, hold on! 256 00:15:50,484 --> 00:15:52,252 And action! 257 00:15:59,561 --> 00:16:00,593 Ten! 258 00:16:00,595 --> 00:16:01,594 Nine! 259 00:16:01,596 --> 00:16:02,494 Eight! 260 00:16:02,496 --> 00:16:03,462 Seven! 261 00:16:03,464 --> 00:16:04,697 Six! 262 00:16:04,699 --> 00:16:05,698 Five! 263 00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:06,699 Four! 264 00:16:06,701 --> 00:16:07,667 Three! 265 00:16:07,669 --> 00:16:08,701 Two! 266 00:16:08,703 --> 00:16:09,669 One! 267 00:16:12,774 --> 00:16:16,043 I remember I paid airplane Andy 50 bucks. 268 00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:19,046 He built a plane in his garage 269 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,915 and taught himself to fly. 270 00:16:26,754 --> 00:16:29,457 He was willing to do as many takes as I wanted 271 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:32,527 to make it feel real. 272 00:16:34,328 --> 00:16:35,396 Cut! 273 00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:36,361 - Whoa! Shit! - Take it. 274 00:16:39,701 --> 00:16:42,902 Yeah, I mean that... You can... um...! 275 00:16:42,904 --> 00:16:43,936 You okay? 276 00:16:43,938 --> 00:16:45,407 You okay? 277 00:16:45,773 --> 00:16:46,539 - Amazing! - Vita! 278 00:16:46,541 --> 00:16:47,740 - Okay... - Vita, um... 279 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,709 We were rolling, right? 280 00:16:49,711 --> 00:16:50,776 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, okay. 281 00:16:50,778 --> 00:16:52,545 He wants to do it again even closer, 282 00:16:52,547 --> 00:16:53,779 and then pull out at the very end... 283 00:16:53,781 --> 00:16:56,114 But I'm sure I cut him off after three 284 00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,685 'Cause he kept flying closer... 285 00:16:59,687 --> 00:17:00,786 You want to do another? 286 00:17:00,788 --> 00:17:02,590 And closer 287 00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:05,023 and closer. 288 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,494 Hey, uh... 289 00:17:08,630 --> 00:17:09,962 Fuck me, man. Come as close as you want. 290 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,303 It was a primal experience. 291 00:18:19,867 --> 00:18:22,035 Did you cum? 292 00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:24,772 - Yeah? - Yeah. 293 00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,642 Where? 294 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,616 What do you mean? 295 00:18:39,621 --> 00:18:40,653 Shit. 296 00:18:40,655 --> 00:18:41,854 - Sorry. Sorry. - Oh fuck. 297 00:18:41,856 --> 00:18:43,121 Sorry. Sorry. 298 00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:44,222 Sorry. 299 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,793 Fuck. 300 00:18:46,928 --> 00:18:48,429 Alright, don't be upset. 301 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,897 - Oh no... - Hey. Hey... 302 00:19:00,041 --> 00:19:00,873 I love you. 303 00:19:05,913 --> 00:19:06,912 I love you too. 304 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:11,118 God damn it. 305 00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:20,260 I'd read this list online. 306 00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:23,263 Most important things for a director to be. 307 00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,401 And the number one thing was healthy. 308 00:19:29,704 --> 00:19:31,804 And dad, maybe it's the sound of 309 00:19:31,806 --> 00:19:33,675 the zoom that makes her turn her head or... 310 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:38,211 Alright, you all ready... 311 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,881 No, it's not just the light. 312 00:19:43,117 --> 00:19:45,385 Okay, so some questions. 313 00:19:45,753 --> 00:19:48,788 One, are the eventual worms alive or plastic? 314 00:19:48,790 --> 00:19:50,288 Two, Alexis says neither are red enough, 315 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,624 but we need more light, so. 316 00:19:51,626 --> 00:19:52,925 And three, we need to talk about 317 00:19:52,927 --> 00:19:54,160 the prosthetic belly. 318 00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:57,699 Vita, what do you think? 319 00:19:58,766 --> 00:20:00,900 Live, live worms. 320 00:20:00,902 --> 00:20:02,835 Use whatever fucking lights you want. 321 00:20:02,837 --> 00:20:04,572 Can get me the morning after pill? 322 00:20:05,873 --> 00:20:06,939 What? 323 00:20:06,941 --> 00:20:07,907 The morning after pill. 324 00:20:09,143 --> 00:20:11,077 Don't be dramatic. 325 00:20:11,079 --> 00:20:12,111 I'm serious. 326 00:20:12,113 --> 00:20:13,112 I'm honored. 327 00:20:13,114 --> 00:20:15,181 He came in me. 328 00:20:16,818 --> 00:20:19,185 He said something like primal took over. 329 00:20:19,187 --> 00:20:20,853 Oh my god. 330 00:20:20,855 --> 00:20:22,922 Vita! Hey, uh, yo. 331 00:20:22,924 --> 00:20:23,723 Never... 332 00:20:23,725 --> 00:20:24,824 Thanks. 333 00:20:24,826 --> 00:20:25,693 Yep. 334 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:27,193 By the way, I don't like that. 335 00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:29,327 Are you guys making a movie? 336 00:20:30,464 --> 00:20:31,396 I can tell them to stop. 337 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:32,631 - Now? - No. 338 00:20:32,633 --> 00:20:34,066 - Later. - Okay, bye. 339 00:20:34,068 --> 00:20:35,803 Whoa, there it is. 340 00:20:35,870 --> 00:20:36,301 Happy day. 341 00:20:36,704 --> 00:20:37,505 Yeah. 342 00:20:38,005 --> 00:20:39,505 Your bike, I just found it. 343 00:20:39,507 --> 00:20:40,338 I don't know who that... 344 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,339 How you doing? 345 00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:42,373 Good. 346 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,110 Hey, ah, why don't you like...? 347 00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:44,777 - Um... - Yeah. 348 00:20:45,713 --> 00:20:47,813 Vita, I want to shoot the scene 349 00:20:47,815 --> 00:20:48,948 so that it feels like we're in her head 350 00:20:48,950 --> 00:20:50,015 and looking at her. 351 00:20:50,017 --> 00:20:51,083 And where do you want me to put the hard drives? 352 00:20:51,085 --> 00:20:51,984 Uh, vita? 353 00:20:51,986 --> 00:20:52,720 - How are you? - Okay. 354 00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:54,589 No, we already talked about... 355 00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:56,387 Is that... Two shots or one shot? 356 00:20:59,961 --> 00:21:01,361 cash? 357 00:21:09,737 --> 00:21:11,537 A lot of people showed up to help me make my film. 358 00:21:11,539 --> 00:21:13,906 - Hey darlin'. - Hey! 359 00:21:13,908 --> 00:21:19,545 But cash was the only guy in a 22.6 mile radius 360 00:21:19,547 --> 00:21:21,281 that could have been a movie star. 361 00:21:22,817 --> 00:21:24,952 And yes, everyone was in love with him. 362 00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:26,317 Good, how are you? 363 00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:27,485 Would you like to say something? 364 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,554 - Um... - Yep, right there. 365 00:21:30,725 --> 00:21:32,292 Thanks. 366 00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:33,728 - Wow. - Alright. 367 00:21:34,128 --> 00:21:35,763 Okay, everybody, listen up. 368 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,299 Hey. Uhh... 369 00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,903 Wow, this is amazing. 370 00:21:42,904 --> 00:21:44,435 I know I haven't really been around much 371 00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:46,038 in the last few years, 372 00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:48,843 so it's really nice to see all your familiar faces. 373 00:21:49,277 --> 00:21:50,776 I wish I could pay you. 374 00:21:50,778 --> 00:21:52,077 But like maybe you could, maybe. 375 00:21:53,214 --> 00:21:55,214 Well, you know, there's a lot of beer 376 00:21:55,216 --> 00:21:56,749 and you can have as much of it as you want, 377 00:21:56,751 --> 00:21:58,517 so that's something. 378 00:21:58,519 --> 00:22:00,621 And this is my producer, Sam. 379 00:22:00,655 --> 00:22:02,955 He will take great care of you. 380 00:22:02,957 --> 00:22:04,190 He will look after everything you need. 381 00:22:04,192 --> 00:22:05,191 All right. 382 00:22:05,193 --> 00:22:06,561 Take it from there. So yeah! 383 00:22:06,928 --> 00:22:08,994 Like she said, just fun, pretty simple stuff. 384 00:22:08,996 --> 00:22:10,062 We're going to have you all sort of scatter. 385 00:22:15,603 --> 00:22:17,937 I cast Dina as the main character in the film 386 00:22:17,939 --> 00:22:20,641 because she seemed like the perfect muse. 387 00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:26,312 We had the same friends and boyfriends. 388 00:22:26,314 --> 00:22:29,584 Both of our dads were larger than life. 389 00:22:30,751 --> 00:22:33,888 She was me, but beautiful. 390 00:22:35,623 --> 00:22:38,724 And like any great director, it was my job 391 00:22:38,726 --> 00:22:41,696 to wait patiently and let the muse take over. 392 00:22:42,530 --> 00:22:43,494 You know, I broke up with Billy. 393 00:22:46,433 --> 00:22:47,835 - Holy shit. - Mhm. 394 00:22:48,069 --> 00:22:49,235 Finally. 395 00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:50,805 I know. 396 00:22:51,606 --> 00:22:53,040 - That guy's a loser. - I know. 397 00:22:55,343 --> 00:22:56,844 Good for you. 398 00:23:02,316 --> 00:23:03,716 Make sure your hands, 399 00:23:03,718 --> 00:23:06,420 they're always touching something. 400 00:23:06,921 --> 00:23:08,821 Your character's trying to... 401 00:23:08,823 --> 00:23:11,557 Ground herself in this world 402 00:23:11,559 --> 00:23:13,528 that she just feels completely alien in. 403 00:23:13,995 --> 00:23:15,460 She's trying to determine her boundaries, 404 00:23:15,462 --> 00:23:18,330 the rules, just, you know, 405 00:23:18,332 --> 00:23:19,598 and in the end it's just going to be her in the trees. 406 00:23:26,774 --> 00:23:28,843 Girl enters and crosses the frame at a diagonal. 407 00:23:30,443 --> 00:23:32,978 She disappears behind a sand dune in 408 00:23:32,980 --> 00:23:34,615 the foreground, the edge of the frame. 409 00:23:35,583 --> 00:23:37,084 Camera at this point actually stops operating. 410 00:23:37,985 --> 00:23:39,754 The girl walks away a considerable distance 411 00:23:40,521 --> 00:23:41,720 and takes her place 412 00:23:41,722 --> 00:23:43,858 behind another sand dune, further away. 413 00:23:44,825 --> 00:23:46,358 The camera then resumes its shooting 414 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:48,827 and immediately begins to turn 415 00:23:48,829 --> 00:23:51,130 in a panoramic movement toward the direction 416 00:23:51,132 --> 00:23:52,567 of which the girl's left the frame. 417 00:23:53,968 --> 00:23:56,504 Blah blah blah blah blah. 418 00:23:56,737 --> 00:23:57,369 Moves out of the frame... 419 00:23:57,371 --> 00:23:59,040 Okay, um, instead, 420 00:24:00,374 --> 00:24:01,976 she emerges much more distant. 421 00:24:02,877 --> 00:24:04,777 And so the alienation of the girl 422 00:24:04,779 --> 00:24:07,279 from the camera exceeds the actual time 423 00:24:07,281 --> 00:24:08,614 which proceeds what would have 424 00:24:08,616 --> 00:24:10,448 presumably been necessary. 425 00:24:14,622 --> 00:24:16,121 What is that from? 426 00:24:16,123 --> 00:24:17,556 Maya Deren. 427 00:24:17,558 --> 00:24:19,124 You emailed it to me. 428 00:24:19,126 --> 00:24:20,926 This is the best part. 429 00:24:20,928 --> 00:24:22,830 She goes on to say about film making, 430 00:24:23,264 --> 00:24:25,264 "And so, ready or not, 431 00:24:25,266 --> 00:24:27,399 willing or not, 432 00:24:27,401 --> 00:24:30,869 you must come to comprehend with full responsibility 433 00:24:30,871 --> 00:24:33,808 the world of which we now created." 434 00:24:39,613 --> 00:24:41,647 Cool. Well, you didn't send me any lines 435 00:24:41,649 --> 00:24:42,948 or anything, so I memorized that. 436 00:24:44,352 --> 00:24:45,417 Because I'm an actor now. 437 00:25:01,769 --> 00:25:02,835 Everybody who will be in the bar, 438 00:25:02,837 --> 00:25:04,672 let's get to places. Alright. 439 00:25:05,306 --> 00:25:06,807 Watch your step. Yep. 440 00:25:07,274 --> 00:25:08,741 Alright, nice and warm. Come on. 441 00:25:08,743 --> 00:25:10,609 Hey, I'm not paying you to hang out. 442 00:25:10,611 --> 00:25:11,810 Get the fuck in there. 443 00:25:11,812 --> 00:25:13,514 Lovely, okay. Looks cute. 444 00:25:13,547 --> 00:25:14,646 - Roll sound. - Speeding. 445 00:25:14,648 --> 00:25:15,748 - Roll camera. - Rolling. 446 00:25:15,750 --> 00:25:17,082 301 apple, take one. 447 00:25:17,852 --> 00:25:18,717 Set. 448 00:25:22,423 --> 00:25:23,455 Action! 449 00:25:23,457 --> 00:25:25,026 Action! 450 00:25:39,974 --> 00:25:41,776 so the film was about a young woman. 451 00:25:42,576 --> 00:25:44,211 She lives in a small town. 452 00:25:45,813 --> 00:25:47,882 She's taking care of her ailing father. 453 00:25:49,550 --> 00:25:51,152 She has a boyfriend. 454 00:25:52,420 --> 00:25:54,021 And a secret lover. 455 00:25:59,860 --> 00:26:01,693 She gets pregnant and decides to leave home 456 00:26:01,695 --> 00:26:02,861 in search of her mother 457 00:26:02,863 --> 00:26:04,832 who abandoned her at birth. 458 00:26:06,834 --> 00:26:08,300 This is a true story. 459 00:26:10,905 --> 00:26:13,808 This is a true story, except... 460 00:26:14,608 --> 00:26:16,475 And you already know this. 461 00:26:18,245 --> 00:26:20,179 I have two moms. 462 00:26:23,317 --> 00:26:25,219 One of them is a mime. 463 00:26:30,591 --> 00:26:32,624 I was never abandoned. 464 00:26:45,039 --> 00:26:47,041 I did get pregnant, though. 465 00:26:50,010 --> 00:26:52,246 A year and a half before we shot the film. 466 00:26:53,914 --> 00:26:56,516 I found out on my 23rd birthday. 467 00:26:56,518 --> 00:26:58,650 My birthday is November 23rd, so... 468 00:26:58,652 --> 00:27:00,152 Vita. 469 00:27:00,154 --> 00:27:01,653 It was a once in a lifetime year. 470 00:27:01,655 --> 00:27:02,788 Hey. 471 00:27:03,457 --> 00:27:05,559 Go! Everybody laugh! 472 00:27:05,793 --> 00:27:07,726 Really animated! 473 00:27:07,728 --> 00:27:09,697 Give me party! 474 00:27:17,371 --> 00:27:19,539 On November 24th, I sat at the clinic 475 00:27:19,541 --> 00:27:21,609 and cried and cried. 476 00:27:27,748 --> 00:27:29,550 I asked the nurse, 477 00:27:30,117 --> 00:27:33,952 "Why am I the only person 478 00:27:33,954 --> 00:27:35,821 that I know who this has happened to?" 479 00:27:43,964 --> 00:27:45,966 And the nurse looked away from me 480 00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:48,836 and back at me again 481 00:27:48,936 --> 00:27:50,235 and said, 482 00:27:51,338 --> 00:27:54,008 "This happens to a lot of people." 483 00:27:56,911 --> 00:27:59,478 "It's just that nobody talks about it." 484 00:28:16,397 --> 00:28:18,931 ♪ Just remember ♪ 485 00:28:18,933 --> 00:28:23,804 ♪ That red river valley ♪ 486 00:28:24,805 --> 00:28:26,038 ♪ And the... ♪ 487 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:27,906 Okay, can we cut for a second? 488 00:28:27,908 --> 00:28:29,376 Let's hold the roll. 489 00:28:30,244 --> 00:28:31,376 Dina, you have to see him by now. 490 00:28:31,378 --> 00:28:32,444 See who? 491 00:28:34,048 --> 00:28:36,350 Can you guys be quiet for just a second? 492 00:28:37,652 --> 00:28:40,221 See him, your secret lover. 493 00:28:41,021 --> 00:28:42,790 Hey, Gideon, will you wave? 494 00:28:43,592 --> 00:28:44,723 He's an actor. He drove up from the city. 495 00:28:44,725 --> 00:28:45,357 Oh shit. 496 00:28:45,359 --> 00:28:47,192 Hey, sorry. 497 00:28:47,194 --> 00:28:48,796 I didn't know you were in the scene. 498 00:28:48,862 --> 00:28:50,331 I'm Dina. 499 00:28:50,565 --> 00:28:53,701 Hey. Gideon. I'm moving to la. 500 00:28:55,169 --> 00:28:55,867 Cool. 501 00:28:58,038 --> 00:29:00,074 Okay, wait. We're gonna go from the... 502 00:29:00,107 --> 00:29:04,409 ♪ Come and sit by my side ♪ 503 00:29:04,411 --> 00:29:08,048 ♪ If you love me ♪ 504 00:29:08,849 --> 00:29:15,689 ♪ Do not hasten to bid me adieu ♪ 505 00:29:16,924 --> 00:29:22,794 ♪ Just remember That red river valley ♪ 506 00:29:28,703 --> 00:29:30,202 - Fuck! - No! 507 00:29:36,745 --> 00:29:37,909 Fuck! 508 00:29:39,413 --> 00:29:41,714 Hi. Hi. 509 00:29:41,716 --> 00:29:42,715 What are you guys doing? 510 00:29:45,886 --> 00:29:46,719 Can you come here for a second? 511 00:29:46,721 --> 00:29:48,420 Why? 512 00:29:48,422 --> 00:29:49,888 I miss you. Come here. 513 00:29:49,890 --> 00:29:51,859 Why are you wet? 514 00:29:52,393 --> 00:29:53,825 Why are you wet? 515 00:29:53,827 --> 00:29:55,463 We got all wet together. 516 00:29:55,630 --> 00:29:57,432 Why are you wet? 517 00:29:57,831 --> 00:30:01,302 Hi. How are you? 518 00:30:01,703 --> 00:30:03,001 How is the film going? 519 00:30:05,573 --> 00:30:07,973 It's going... it was going well before you got here. 520 00:30:07,975 --> 00:30:09,709 What are you wearing? 521 00:30:09,711 --> 00:30:11,245 I like your funny vest. 522 00:30:11,312 --> 00:30:12,844 It's my cameo. 523 00:30:12,846 --> 00:30:14,882 It's the most important shot of the scene. 524 00:30:14,915 --> 00:30:15,682 Can I take a picture of you? 525 00:30:15,684 --> 00:30:16,582 Baby... 526 00:30:17,318 --> 00:30:17,849 Ow. 527 00:30:17,851 --> 00:30:18,884 Sorry... 528 00:30:18,886 --> 00:30:20,754 Your lens cap is on. 529 00:30:21,121 --> 00:30:23,088 You have to go back to the bar. 530 00:30:23,090 --> 00:30:24,258 Still rolling, vita. 531 00:30:24,992 --> 00:30:25,490 What's happening? 532 00:30:25,492 --> 00:30:26,393 Okay. 533 00:30:26,594 --> 00:30:27,660 You gotta go. 534 00:30:27,662 --> 00:30:28,927 No. 535 00:30:28,929 --> 00:30:30,095 I gotta get back to work. 536 00:30:30,097 --> 00:30:30,730 Do you need to take a break? 537 00:30:30,732 --> 00:30:31,496 No. 538 00:30:31,498 --> 00:30:32,297 Is it lunchtime? 539 00:30:32,299 --> 00:30:33,867 No. 540 00:30:34,168 --> 00:30:35,836 We could go back. 541 00:30:36,437 --> 00:30:37,603 Go... I just wanted to have sex with you. 542 00:30:38,673 --> 00:30:40,339 Shut up. 543 00:30:40,341 --> 00:30:42,876 That's so embarrassing. You're so wet. 544 00:30:43,177 --> 00:30:44,042 Why don't you help? 545 00:30:44,044 --> 00:30:45,779 It'll go by faster. 546 00:30:45,879 --> 00:30:47,081 - If you help out. - Yeah. 547 00:30:47,881 --> 00:30:49,484 Listen to JJ. 548 00:30:49,684 --> 00:30:51,051 I'm going to help. 549 00:30:51,385 --> 00:30:52,853 Come over here, you're gonna help. 550 00:30:52,953 --> 00:30:54,255 Alright, we're gonna help. 551 00:30:54,522 --> 00:30:55,555 - Go over there? - Bobby's over there. 552 00:30:55,557 --> 00:30:56,789 - Hey, Bobby. - Bobby! 553 00:30:56,791 --> 00:30:58,460 I was sent to help you. 554 00:30:58,693 --> 00:30:59,960 - No, no. - Hey! 555 00:30:59,993 --> 00:31:00,827 I'm good. Thank you though. 556 00:31:00,829 --> 00:31:01,661 Yeah. You're good. 557 00:31:01,663 --> 00:31:02,595 You do your thing. 558 00:31:02,597 --> 00:31:02,894 I'm just going to like help you. 559 00:31:02,896 --> 00:31:03,796 No, like I'm... 560 00:31:03,798 --> 00:31:04,731 Don't touch that. 561 00:31:04,733 --> 00:31:05,464 Don't touch that. 562 00:31:06,467 --> 00:31:07,099 Don't touch that. 563 00:31:07,101 --> 00:31:07,633 - Sorry. - Sorry. 564 00:31:07,635 --> 00:31:08,467 No. 565 00:31:08,469 --> 00:31:10,068 I don't... 566 00:31:10,070 --> 00:31:12,839 He asked me to help with the... okay. 567 00:31:12,841 --> 00:31:14,908 I will not touch the light 568 00:31:15,075 --> 00:31:16,274 and I will help over here. 569 00:31:16,276 --> 00:31:17,309 Stop messing with the equipment. 570 00:31:17,311 --> 00:31:19,111 Why are you yelling at me? 571 00:31:19,113 --> 00:31:20,145 You guys were singing. 572 00:31:20,147 --> 00:31:21,113 What were you singing? 573 00:31:21,882 --> 00:31:23,418 Yeah. 574 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:27,720 Vita, I'll just be in the scene. 575 00:31:30,625 --> 00:31:32,625 ♪ ... Bid me adieu ♪ 576 00:31:32,627 --> 00:31:33,492 What is happening? 577 00:31:33,494 --> 00:31:34,527 Thank you. 578 00:31:34,529 --> 00:31:35,628 Vita! 579 00:31:38,666 --> 00:31:40,435 You know, I don't think we need this shot. 580 00:31:40,568 --> 00:31:41,935 What about the close-up? 581 00:31:44,204 --> 00:31:46,974 Why don't you... We get the most shooting. 582 00:31:48,075 --> 00:31:49,975 Are you absolutely sure you don't need this shot? 583 00:31:49,977 --> 00:31:50,643 Vita! 584 00:31:52,012 --> 00:31:53,345 Vita! 585 00:31:53,347 --> 00:31:55,447 ♪ Red river valley ♪ 586 00:31:57,619 --> 00:31:58,684 Yeah, I'm sure. 587 00:32:13,535 --> 00:32:14,767 I always wondered 588 00:32:14,769 --> 00:32:16,604 if that shot would have made the film better. 589 00:32:18,873 --> 00:32:20,205 Guess I wonder about a lot of things. 590 00:32:20,207 --> 00:32:22,608 ♪ ... Bid me adieu ♪ 591 00:32:22,610 --> 00:32:24,976 Adieu. Adieu. Adieu. 592 00:32:24,978 --> 00:32:29,882 ♪ Just remember that red river ♪ 593 00:33:12,727 --> 00:33:15,528 Dina, um, I'm gonna need you to 594 00:33:15,530 --> 00:33:18,296 really dig a little deeper on this one. 595 00:33:18,298 --> 00:33:19,866 I mean, the scream's gotta come from, 596 00:33:19,868 --> 00:33:23,034 like, a really painful place. 597 00:33:23,036 --> 00:33:24,135 Okay. 598 00:33:34,081 --> 00:33:35,916 Okay, I don't... I don't get it. 599 00:33:36,483 --> 00:33:38,051 Like, where is this all coming from? 600 00:33:39,687 --> 00:33:41,423 Well, Dina, she's... 601 00:33:42,356 --> 00:33:44,391 Emotionally torn. 602 00:33:45,793 --> 00:33:47,327 Okay. 603 00:33:48,495 --> 00:33:50,397 I don't know what that means, honestly. 604 00:33:51,365 --> 00:33:52,798 Maybe we should try it from a different angle, 605 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,432 like, shoot from behind, 606 00:33:54,434 --> 00:33:56,802 and then you can add a better scream. 607 00:33:56,804 --> 00:33:58,838 Yeah, but you have to stay with her. It's gotta be that. 608 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,873 Dina, maybe try it, like, you just, like, stub your toe, 609 00:34:00,875 --> 00:34:01,974 and it's, like, that one spot, and you always do it. 610 00:34:01,976 --> 00:34:03,141 No, Sam, it's not... 611 00:34:03,143 --> 00:34:04,911 It's not like stubbing your toe. 612 00:34:04,913 --> 00:34:06,612 She needs a real life example. 613 00:34:06,614 --> 00:34:08,348 This is after the scene where she meets her secret lover? 614 00:34:08,983 --> 00:34:10,618 Yeah, but he's not secret. 615 00:34:10,952 --> 00:34:12,484 So is it about the boyfriend? 616 00:34:12,486 --> 00:34:15,287 It's... we all read the script, right? 617 00:34:15,289 --> 00:34:17,322 I mean, yeah, but 40 pages of mostly prose. 618 00:34:17,324 --> 00:34:19,859 - JJ... Can this please wait? - Can I just...? 619 00:34:19,861 --> 00:34:20,993 Vita, what if she's, like, 620 00:34:20,995 --> 00:34:22,597 not in pain at all at this point? 621 00:34:26,868 --> 00:34:27,700 What do you mean? 622 00:34:27,702 --> 00:34:31,673 Like, what if, like, instead, she's... 623 00:34:32,072 --> 00:34:33,238 She's, like, coming to terms with 624 00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:35,173 who she's, like, meant to be, you know? 625 00:34:41,616 --> 00:34:44,151 But it's, like, it's the opposite of that. 626 00:34:46,353 --> 00:34:48,521 I don't know, it's not like the opposite. 627 00:34:48,523 --> 00:34:50,088 It's just, like, a different... It's a different take. 628 00:34:50,090 --> 00:34:51,256 It's, like, the same thing. 629 00:34:51,258 --> 00:34:53,491 It's the opposite of that, I am telling you. 630 00:34:53,493 --> 00:34:55,062 - Okay... - She's not just cool with it. 631 00:34:56,731 --> 00:34:58,766 Yeah, I'm just... I'm, like, throwing out an idea. 632 00:35:00,735 --> 00:35:02,135 Could be cool. 633 00:35:03,871 --> 00:35:06,806 We're just gonna, we're gonna keep... keep going. 634 00:35:06,808 --> 00:35:08,473 Yeah, okay, let's... Let's try it again maybe. 635 00:35:08,475 --> 00:35:10,743 Thank you. Let's keep going. 636 00:35:10,745 --> 00:35:12,612 Why, why, why does everything I do 637 00:35:12,614 --> 00:35:14,716 just, like, fucking upset you up here? 638 00:35:17,819 --> 00:35:19,451 Can we just get through this scene? 639 00:35:19,453 --> 00:35:23,223 Yeah. I'm... I'm just trying to, like, help out here. 640 00:35:27,095 --> 00:35:28,796 But it's not helping. 641 00:35:37,872 --> 00:35:40,040 Could we, could we, like, go and talk for a second? 642 00:35:40,975 --> 00:35:42,309 - Right now? - Yeah. 643 00:35:42,910 --> 00:35:44,512 - You need to talk right now? - Yeah, yeah. 644 00:35:45,445 --> 00:35:47,515 What are we gonna talk about? 645 00:35:48,482 --> 00:35:50,248 Uh, I... I'd rather just not do this 646 00:35:50,250 --> 00:35:52,487 in front of, like, everyone. 647 00:35:53,021 --> 00:35:54,722 Can you, like, take just, like, five minutes? 648 00:35:56,691 --> 00:35:58,459 No, I can't. 649 00:35:58,793 --> 00:36:00,926 How can you not see that I'm busy? 650 00:36:00,928 --> 00:36:03,230 I'm trying to finish this scene. 651 00:36:03,931 --> 00:36:04,530 Baby. 652 00:36:08,335 --> 00:36:10,270 You... you make me, like, feel really bad 653 00:36:10,805 --> 00:36:12,372 being here. 654 00:36:21,481 --> 00:36:22,347 I think I'm just gonna, like... Uhh... 655 00:36:22,349 --> 00:36:24,151 I'm gonna go back home. 656 00:36:24,786 --> 00:36:27,419 You finish the film, and yeah, I'll see you later. 657 00:36:43,705 --> 00:36:45,871 Okay, I'm... 658 00:36:45,873 --> 00:36:47,873 I'm gonna be right back. Just keep, keep it rolling. 659 00:36:51,411 --> 00:36:53,445 - No, we can't... - I'm good. 660 00:36:55,482 --> 00:36:57,752 - Okay... - Especially when the fucking... 661 00:36:58,452 --> 00:37:00,619 The sexual tension is dripping. 662 00:37:00,621 --> 00:37:01,687 Bobby. 663 00:37:01,689 --> 00:37:02,588 Just the regular attention. 664 00:37:02,590 --> 00:37:03,622 His regular attention. 665 00:37:03,624 --> 00:37:05,192 Hey. 666 00:37:07,095 --> 00:37:09,363 Just, Dustin, stop. 667 00:37:09,997 --> 00:37:12,165 You wanted to talk. Let's talk. 668 00:37:13,266 --> 00:37:15,903 Just try to see what I'm doing here. 669 00:37:16,236 --> 00:37:17,772 Yeah. 670 00:37:17,839 --> 00:37:19,004 Look, why... why are... 671 00:37:19,006 --> 00:37:21,576 Why are you taking this all so fucking seriously? 672 00:37:22,176 --> 00:37:23,642 What do you mean why I'm taking it... 673 00:37:23,644 --> 00:37:25,044 Why aren't you taking it seriously? 674 00:37:25,046 --> 00:37:27,046 I'm trying to be... 675 00:37:27,048 --> 00:37:29,247 I'm trying to do this with my fucking life. 676 00:37:29,249 --> 00:37:30,983 This is me. 677 00:37:30,985 --> 00:37:33,986 Yeah, look, I'm trying to be here with you, okay? 678 00:37:33,988 --> 00:37:35,955 And you don't even fucking, like, see me. 679 00:37:35,957 --> 00:37:37,656 I think you should be up here for me. 680 00:37:37,658 --> 00:37:39,825 Yeah, I am up here for you. 681 00:37:39,827 --> 00:37:41,160 Okay, well, you're not really helping me out 682 00:37:41,162 --> 00:37:42,460 on a day like today, okay? 683 00:37:42,462 --> 00:37:43,929 Because you make me feel like shit 684 00:37:43,931 --> 00:37:46,166 in front of, like, your... Your... your crew! 685 00:37:46,601 --> 00:37:48,803 Okay, well, I'm kind of dealing with a lot. 686 00:37:49,237 --> 00:37:51,269 Like, Dina's not fucking screaming. 687 00:37:51,271 --> 00:37:52,638 The crew won't fucking listen to me 688 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:53,572 because we're all fucking stoned. 689 00:37:53,574 --> 00:37:55,641 You came in me yesterday 690 00:37:55,643 --> 00:37:57,375 and I have to find a distinct minute 691 00:37:57,377 --> 00:37:59,011 to take the fucking morning after pill 692 00:37:59,013 --> 00:38:00,012 so I don't puke everywhere. 693 00:38:00,014 --> 00:38:01,582 Sorry, I said I was sorry. 694 00:38:02,150 --> 00:38:03,983 You just don't fucking get it. 695 00:38:03,985 --> 00:38:05,820 Like, you are amazing. 696 00:38:06,319 --> 00:38:08,120 Like, you're trying so fucking hard 697 00:38:08,122 --> 00:38:09,722 to, like, make this fucking art, 698 00:38:09,724 --> 00:38:11,657 but you're like... You're... 699 00:38:11,659 --> 00:38:13,528 You don't even understand how fucking amazing you are. 700 00:38:14,762 --> 00:38:15,728 You're... yeah. 701 00:38:15,730 --> 00:38:17,930 You're so much better than me, okay? 702 00:38:17,932 --> 00:38:18,864 What? 703 00:38:18,866 --> 00:38:20,400 Yeah, like... 704 00:38:21,803 --> 00:38:23,702 You could do anything you wanted, okay? 705 00:38:23,704 --> 00:38:27,340 You're capable of... Of, like, everything. 706 00:38:28,441 --> 00:38:29,809 Like what? 707 00:38:29,811 --> 00:38:30,876 Like, like, I don't know, like... 708 00:38:30,878 --> 00:38:32,480 You... you... 709 00:38:33,413 --> 00:38:35,717 You're capable of having, like, a baby. 710 00:38:38,252 --> 00:38:39,821 Like... 711 00:38:45,526 --> 00:38:47,327 Like, you're awesome. 712 00:38:53,267 --> 00:38:54,936 I love you. 713 00:38:58,105 --> 00:39:00,541 And I want to be here for you. 714 00:39:06,147 --> 00:39:08,950 I just want you to, like, want me with you. 715 00:39:12,086 --> 00:39:13,554 You know? 716 00:39:19,193 --> 00:39:21,462 I don't want to have a baby. 717 00:39:23,363 --> 00:39:24,864 I don't want to have a baby. 718 00:39:24,866 --> 00:39:26,265 Yeah, I didn't... That's not... 719 00:39:26,267 --> 00:39:27,969 I didn't mean, like, right now. 720 00:39:32,139 --> 00:39:33,407 Vita, where are you going? 721 00:39:38,746 --> 00:39:43,916 Did you know that after an egg is released 722 00:39:43,918 --> 00:39:47,387 from the ovary, it is viable for up to 24 hours? 723 00:39:48,990 --> 00:39:52,894 And the morning after pill can work for 72. 724 00:39:55,596 --> 00:40:00,535 Unless the sperm and the egg collide first. 725 00:40:02,136 --> 00:40:04,038 I didn't know that then. 726 00:40:06,107 --> 00:40:08,476 I was an idiot. 727 00:40:09,977 --> 00:40:12,878 And convinced that I was the only one 728 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,847 taking the film seriously. 729 00:40:32,967 --> 00:40:38,639 So, let's do one more scream before we roll. 730 00:40:39,307 --> 00:40:40,908 When you're ready. 731 00:41:55,182 --> 00:41:58,250 After the egg was released from my ovaries, 732 00:41:58,252 --> 00:42:00,452 but before I took the morning after pill, 733 00:42:00,454 --> 00:42:01,954 we filmed this scene 734 00:42:01,956 --> 00:42:03,555 where the main character screams. 735 00:42:07,895 --> 00:42:09,661 It was meant to represent 736 00:42:09,663 --> 00:42:11,530 the moment that she became pregnant. 737 00:42:16,937 --> 00:42:19,540 It was at this moment inside of me 738 00:42:21,876 --> 00:42:23,709 that the sperm and the egg collided too. 739 00:42:34,021 --> 00:42:37,756 So, the film was about a young woman 740 00:42:41,195 --> 00:42:43,965 Who was taking care of her ailing father. 741 00:42:44,865 --> 00:42:46,899 She gets pregnant 742 00:42:46,901 --> 00:42:50,035 and decides to escape her hometown in search 743 00:42:50,037 --> 00:42:52,006 of her mother who abandoned her at birth. 744 00:42:52,541 --> 00:42:54,673 This is a true story. 745 00:42:54,675 --> 00:42:58,212 This is a true story except. 746 00:42:59,313 --> 00:43:05,317 I have two moms, and I had two abortions. 747 00:44:37,845 --> 00:44:40,547 Hi, I'm vita and I'm the writer-director 748 00:44:40,549 --> 00:44:43,650 of the feature-length film always, all ways. 749 00:44:43,652 --> 00:44:44,917 Here I am in my childhood bedroom, 750 00:44:44,919 --> 00:44:47,186 aka my editing suite. 751 00:44:47,188 --> 00:44:49,054 I moved back home a few weeks ago 752 00:44:49,056 --> 00:44:50,756 to complete the first of three shoots 753 00:44:50,758 --> 00:44:52,958 over the course of nine months. 754 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:56,261 I've been reviewing the footage and it looks amazing. 755 00:44:56,263 --> 00:44:58,297 We've decided to start this crowd funding campaign 756 00:44:58,299 --> 00:45:00,199 with amazing rewards for people who donate 757 00:45:00,201 --> 00:45:02,367 to finance the next two shoots, 758 00:45:02,369 --> 00:45:06,104 which will cost approximately $18,000. 759 00:45:06,106 --> 00:45:08,373 I want to get as many people involved in this vision 760 00:45:08,375 --> 00:45:10,943 as possible because your mark on my film 761 00:45:10,945 --> 00:45:12,947 is what I'm looking for. 762 00:45:15,382 --> 00:45:16,381 Houston, cut. 763 00:45:16,383 --> 00:45:17,416 Houston, cut. 764 00:45:17,418 --> 00:45:17,416 Houston, cut. 765 00:45:18,786 --> 00:45:19,818 Tail, slating! 766 00:45:22,022 --> 00:45:23,190 Bring it. 767 00:45:25,359 --> 00:45:26,792 You want me to cut this, z? 768 00:45:26,794 --> 00:45:28,095 cut it. 769 00:45:29,830 --> 00:45:29,861 - Mark. - Mark. 770 00:45:31,232 --> 00:45:32,764 Cut. 771 00:45:50,784 --> 00:45:51,551 Guess what? 772 00:45:51,553 --> 00:45:52,720 What? 773 00:45:52,820 --> 00:45:56,023 The film is officially listed! 774 00:45:57,191 --> 00:45:58,423 No turning back now, dude. 775 00:46:00,227 --> 00:46:01,694 No way. 776 00:46:01,696 --> 00:46:03,328 Whoa, we did it! 777 00:46:04,465 --> 00:46:06,000 Cool! 778 00:46:06,433 --> 00:46:07,466 Oh my god! 779 00:46:13,642 --> 00:46:15,541 Okay and then we... 780 00:46:15,543 --> 00:46:17,175 Take some time to recover 781 00:46:17,177 --> 00:46:19,746 and take, you know, just take some deep breaths. 782 00:46:21,181 --> 00:46:23,750 And you crawl over to the worm. 783 00:46:23,752 --> 00:46:25,319 - Okay, crawl over... - See it? 784 00:46:25,687 --> 00:46:27,321 You pick it up and hold it. 785 00:46:28,255 --> 00:46:30,291 You know, deal with it, feel it. 786 00:46:31,191 --> 00:46:32,960 You know, take it in. 787 00:46:33,961 --> 00:46:34,493 Her nets are going to rip... 788 00:46:34,495 --> 00:46:35,930 Shh, quiet. 789 00:46:40,702 --> 00:46:42,036 what's the point of the worm again? 790 00:46:43,170 --> 00:46:44,338 I don't know. 791 00:46:45,272 --> 00:46:46,872 I think it's about her being pregnant or something. 792 00:46:49,209 --> 00:46:51,812 The film was filled with thin motifs, 793 00:46:52,112 --> 00:46:54,416 like earthworms, 794 00:46:55,316 --> 00:46:58,352 and a bunch of other asso-teric images. 795 00:47:01,155 --> 00:47:03,224 I didn't give a shit about the audience. 796 00:47:05,660 --> 00:47:08,226 I liked the earthworms because I had read 797 00:47:08,228 --> 00:47:10,898 that they hold both sexes inside them. 798 00:47:13,133 --> 00:47:15,269 They are beholden to no one. 799 00:47:16,437 --> 00:47:18,103 Wait, bobby, did you move the light? 800 00:47:18,105 --> 00:47:20,205 I told him to do that 801 00:47:20,207 --> 00:47:21,541 because it's just, it's a really shitty bathroom. 802 00:47:21,543 --> 00:47:23,241 I'm sorry, I'm confused. 803 00:47:23,243 --> 00:47:24,610 Raise your hand if you like the light. 804 00:47:24,612 --> 00:47:25,879 I just think it looks better. 805 00:47:26,013 --> 00:47:27,482 Yeah, I would listen to that. 806 00:47:28,516 --> 00:47:29,314 Um, vita? 807 00:47:29,316 --> 00:47:29,981 Yeah. 808 00:47:29,983 --> 00:47:31,419 What should we do next? 809 00:47:32,286 --> 00:47:33,285 I don't know, just fucking go with it. 810 00:47:33,287 --> 00:47:34,822 Okay? 811 00:47:36,290 --> 00:47:38,223 actually, the more telling pattern that 812 00:47:38,225 --> 00:47:40,892 haunted the set was that of near death. 813 00:47:44,733 --> 00:47:46,098 First there was the plane. 814 00:47:49,571 --> 00:47:50,302 Then... 815 00:47:51,004 --> 00:47:52,373 The deer. 816 00:47:53,907 --> 00:47:54,973 The lightning. 817 00:47:57,746 --> 00:47:59,378 The goblin weed. 818 00:48:02,015 --> 00:48:03,516 The drama on the pier. 819 00:48:07,921 --> 00:48:10,124 And then there was 820 00:48:12,861 --> 00:48:14,359 the night. 821 00:48:21,068 --> 00:48:22,870 With cash. 822 00:48:23,705 --> 00:48:24,871 And the whiskey. 823 00:48:27,876 --> 00:48:29,975 You can dance tonight if you want. 824 00:48:29,977 --> 00:48:31,211 Yeah, whatever you want, darlin'. 825 00:48:32,312 --> 00:48:32,978 Is that the best mask you could get for me? 826 00:48:32,980 --> 00:48:34,647 It is, it is. 827 00:48:34,649 --> 00:48:36,081 They didn't have much of a collection, I guess. 828 00:48:36,083 --> 00:48:37,015 Mustache falling off and everything? 829 00:48:41,455 --> 00:48:42,954 Uh, keep doing what you're doing. 830 00:48:42,956 --> 00:48:44,122 Wait for me to cue. 831 00:48:45,492 --> 00:48:47,027 Get rowdy. 832 00:48:49,798 --> 00:48:50,863 - Okay. - Woo! 833 00:48:50,865 --> 00:48:51,963 Hey guys, listen up! 834 00:48:51,965 --> 00:48:52,931 Action! 835 00:48:56,738 --> 00:48:58,305 Darlin'. 836 00:48:59,373 --> 00:49:00,272 Darlin'. 837 00:49:00,274 --> 00:49:01,842 Darlin'. 838 00:49:02,009 --> 00:49:03,241 How's it going? 839 00:49:03,243 --> 00:49:04,075 Did you hear the news? 840 00:49:04,077 --> 00:49:05,310 Did she tell you? 841 00:49:05,312 --> 00:49:07,415 You didn't tell her? 842 00:49:10,417 --> 00:49:12,286 Baby, we're having a baby. 843 00:49:17,491 --> 00:49:19,157 Baby, we're having a baby. 844 00:49:19,159 --> 00:49:20,462 Having a baby? 845 00:49:20,929 --> 00:49:22,564 This is great, cash. Keep going. 846 00:49:23,297 --> 00:49:24,530 Can I get another? 847 00:49:26,901 --> 00:49:28,902 Yeah, let's pause. 848 00:49:29,336 --> 00:49:31,406 You want to get him a beer and a shot? Sam? 849 00:49:32,072 --> 00:49:33,408 Come on, brother. 850 00:49:41,883 --> 00:49:43,683 Why did you give him more to drink? 851 00:49:43,685 --> 00:49:45,484 - Are you joking? - I didn't give him anything! 852 00:49:45,486 --> 00:49:47,152 He's already drunk, how the fuck is this on me? 853 00:49:47,154 --> 00:49:47,820 Guys, guys, guys. 854 00:49:47,822 --> 00:49:48,487 Hey! 855 00:49:51,191 --> 00:49:52,190 What is the problem? 856 00:49:52,192 --> 00:49:53,492 It's fine. 857 00:49:53,494 --> 00:49:55,060 I know these guys. It's fine. 858 00:49:55,062 --> 00:49:55,862 We're good. 859 00:49:55,864 --> 00:49:57,632 Just having fun. 860 00:49:58,031 --> 00:49:58,997 It's going to be okay. 861 00:49:58,999 --> 00:50:00,666 Just calm down. 862 00:50:00,668 --> 00:50:01,466 It's okay. 863 00:50:03,103 --> 00:50:04,770 The prosthetic belly is... 864 00:50:04,772 --> 00:50:06,104 Whatever this decision is, can you just make yourself? 865 00:50:06,106 --> 00:50:07,908 Okay. 866 00:50:08,710 --> 00:50:09,675 Action! 867 00:50:09,677 --> 00:50:10,510 Fuck! 868 00:50:10,512 --> 00:50:11,844 I know. 869 00:50:11,846 --> 00:50:13,280 Don't stop. 870 00:50:15,148 --> 00:50:16,584 Motherfucker. 871 00:50:18,452 --> 00:50:20,154 God damn it. Where was I? 872 00:50:21,054 --> 00:50:22,087 Baby. 873 00:50:22,089 --> 00:50:23,488 Baby? 874 00:50:23,490 --> 00:50:24,557 Baby. 875 00:50:24,559 --> 00:50:26,393 We're having a motherfucking baby. 876 00:50:26,761 --> 00:50:28,360 We're having a fucking baby. 877 00:50:28,362 --> 00:50:29,562 It's going to be a little fucking girl. 878 00:50:29,564 --> 00:50:31,165 We're having a fucking baby girl. 879 00:50:31,533 --> 00:50:32,130 Get in here, motherfuckers. 880 00:50:33,267 --> 00:50:35,835 The prodigal son returns! 881 00:50:35,837 --> 00:50:37,035 Go, go, go! 882 00:50:41,976 --> 00:50:44,209 What's going on? 883 00:50:44,211 --> 00:50:45,511 We're having a fucking baby. 884 00:50:45,513 --> 00:50:46,679 What? 885 00:50:46,681 --> 00:50:48,716 We're having a fucking baby girl. 886 00:50:49,817 --> 00:50:51,017 We're having a fucking baby. 887 00:50:51,019 --> 00:50:52,752 We're having a baby. 888 00:50:52,754 --> 00:50:54,185 We're havin' a fuckin' baby guys. 889 00:50:54,187 --> 00:50:55,621 We're havin' a fuckin' baby! 890 00:50:56,925 --> 00:50:58,423 We're havin' a fuckin' baby! 891 00:50:58,425 --> 00:51:00,495 We're havin' a baby! 892 00:51:01,796 --> 00:51:03,395 We're havin' a baby... 893 00:51:03,397 --> 00:51:05,433 We're havin' a baby! 894 00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:07,502 Fuckin' baby... 895 00:51:10,939 --> 00:51:12,672 I remember thinking I was brilliant. 896 00:51:19,212 --> 00:51:20,312 So that's everything except those lights upstairs, right? 897 00:51:20,314 --> 00:51:21,747 Okay. 898 00:51:21,749 --> 00:51:22,515 Alright. Yeah. 899 00:51:22,517 --> 00:51:23,583 You can give him a little time. 900 00:51:23,585 --> 00:51:24,182 You can come up there. 901 00:51:24,184 --> 00:51:24,884 Alright. 902 00:51:24,886 --> 00:51:26,220 Thanks man. 903 00:51:26,988 --> 00:51:29,454 Hey, um, dinner's almost ready 904 00:51:29,456 --> 00:51:30,255 and I got some more beers for the guys. 905 00:51:30,257 --> 00:51:31,222 Great. 906 00:51:31,224 --> 00:51:31,958 And maybe us. 907 00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:32,825 Yeah, and us. 908 00:51:32,827 --> 00:51:33,593 For sure us. 909 00:51:33,595 --> 00:51:35,260 Don't let them steal a bottle. 910 00:51:35,262 --> 00:51:37,063 ♪ We're having a baby! ♪ 911 00:51:37,065 --> 00:51:39,230 ♪ We're having a baby! ♪ 912 00:51:39,232 --> 00:51:41,399 ♪ We're having a baby! ♪ 913 00:51:41,401 --> 00:51:43,903 ♪ We're having a baby! ♪ 914 00:51:43,905 --> 00:51:45,905 ♪ We're having a baby! ♪ 915 00:51:49,309 --> 00:51:50,745 Congratulations. 916 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,301 But I knew I called out to him. 917 00:52:17,137 --> 00:52:18,706 Where are you going? 918 00:52:20,008 --> 00:52:21,040 Hey! 919 00:52:21,042 --> 00:52:22,074 Hey, hey, hey! 920 00:52:22,076 --> 00:52:23,009 Wait! Where are you going? 921 00:52:23,011 --> 00:52:24,546 Stop! 922 00:52:26,146 --> 00:52:27,682 Cash! 923 00:52:28,382 --> 00:52:29,280 Stop! Don't drive! 924 00:52:29,282 --> 00:52:30,248 Come back! 925 00:52:45,633 --> 00:52:47,033 Or maybe I didn't call out at all. 926 00:52:57,912 --> 00:53:00,113 I don't remember anything after that. 927 00:53:05,053 --> 00:53:06,519 Except the beans 928 00:53:08,923 --> 00:53:10,324 And the music. 929 00:53:22,103 --> 00:53:24,271 We were all so hungry. 930 00:53:31,546 --> 00:53:34,345 ♪ One night of magic rush ♪ 931 00:53:34,347 --> 00:53:37,083 ♪ The start, a simple touch ♪ 932 00:53:37,085 --> 00:53:39,721 ♪ One night to push and scream ♪ 933 00:53:40,253 --> 00:53:42,588 ♪ And then relief ♪ 934 00:53:42,590 --> 00:53:45,223 ♪ Ten days of perfect tunes ♪ 935 00:53:45,225 --> 00:53:47,693 ♪ The colors red and blue ♪ 936 00:53:47,695 --> 00:53:51,331 ♪ We had a promise made ♪ 937 00:53:51,364 --> 00:53:53,733 ♪ We were in love ♪ 938 00:53:53,735 --> 00:53:56,569 ♪ To call for hands of above ♪ 939 00:53:56,571 --> 00:53:59,404 ♪ To lean on ♪ 940 00:53:59,406 --> 00:54:04,342 ♪ Wouldn't be good enough for me, oh ♪ 941 00:54:04,344 --> 00:54:07,046 ♪ To call for hands of above ♪ 942 00:54:54,128 --> 00:54:55,663 Hello? 943 00:55:01,602 --> 00:55:04,672 19.5 miles outside of town. 944 00:55:06,641 --> 00:55:08,274 They found cash's truck 945 00:55:08,276 --> 00:55:10,242 wrapped around a telephone pole. 946 00:55:19,153 --> 00:55:22,623 And the only person I told was Sam. 947 00:55:24,592 --> 00:55:26,259 Maybe we should just wait for cash. 948 00:55:27,327 --> 00:55:28,863 Yeah. 949 00:55:30,131 --> 00:55:32,299 But I think JJ can pass. 950 00:55:35,736 --> 00:55:38,103 I mean, with the jacket and boots, it's probably fine. 951 00:55:38,105 --> 00:55:39,474 I think it's fine. 952 00:55:55,122 --> 00:55:55,990 Yeah. 953 00:55:56,724 --> 00:55:57,656 I mean, I'm kind of tired, 954 00:55:57,658 --> 00:55:59,124 so I don't want to hold it up. 955 00:55:59,126 --> 00:56:00,259 Yeah, I mean, I think we'll do a couple. 956 00:56:00,261 --> 00:56:01,627 And so... 957 00:56:04,364 --> 00:56:06,033 About how high or how low? 958 00:56:06,567 --> 00:56:07,835 - Okay... - Can you breathe in there? 959 00:56:10,470 --> 00:56:11,237 Well, the only way to do the scene 960 00:56:11,239 --> 00:56:12,740 is with the mask on. 961 00:56:21,716 --> 00:56:23,451 Can you put your arm over her shoulder? 962 00:56:26,220 --> 00:56:27,889 Oh, come on, JJ. Like this. 963 00:56:28,022 --> 00:56:28,486 Like you mean it. 964 00:56:29,624 --> 00:56:31,559 Hang on her, JJ. 965 00:56:31,592 --> 00:56:33,192 Cover her almost. 966 00:56:34,528 --> 00:56:35,728 Man, can you fucking just... 967 00:56:35,730 --> 00:56:37,364 What is going on? 968 00:56:38,498 --> 00:56:40,599 What is going on? Why are you... 969 00:56:40,601 --> 00:56:41,934 Can we just be a little bit professional? 970 00:56:41,936 --> 00:56:43,369 This is really annoying for me 971 00:56:43,371 --> 00:56:46,105 to have to stop my conversation, 972 00:56:46,107 --> 00:56:47,840 to be having this conversation with you. 973 00:56:47,842 --> 00:56:50,042 It's really annoying when you touch the boom. 974 00:56:50,044 --> 00:56:51,476 - I didn't touch... - You touched me with a boom. 975 00:56:51,478 --> 00:56:52,645 You never touch the camera. 976 00:56:52,647 --> 00:56:53,612 That's so fucking weird of you, man. 977 00:56:53,614 --> 00:56:54,445 I'm not... 978 00:56:54,447 --> 00:56:55,681 Be professional! It's like... 979 00:56:55,683 --> 00:56:57,950 Have we forgotten how to do our job? 980 00:56:57,952 --> 00:56:59,618 You touched me with the fucking boom. 981 00:56:59,620 --> 00:57:01,320 - I didn't do shit. - Stop, stop, stop. 982 00:57:01,322 --> 00:57:02,621 - Stop yelling at people. - I know we're fucking tired... 983 00:57:02,623 --> 00:57:03,488 - Please vita. V! - But let's all be fucking 984 00:57:03,490 --> 00:57:04,759 professional for a second. 985 00:57:04,959 --> 00:57:06,727 We are all here for your movie. 986 00:57:07,261 --> 00:57:09,463 It was an accident. He didn't mean to hit you. 987 00:57:10,164 --> 00:57:10,461 It's stupid to be yelling... 988 00:57:11,599 --> 00:57:13,067 You good? 989 00:57:30,084 --> 00:57:31,786 I think I drank too much last night. 990 00:58:00,982 --> 00:58:01,981 Hey, Sam. 991 00:58:05,219 --> 00:58:06,487 What are we doing now? 992 00:58:09,657 --> 00:58:11,125 Hi. 993 00:58:13,627 --> 00:58:15,796 Sam told us what happened with cash. 994 00:58:18,332 --> 00:58:18,998 Uh-huh. 995 00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:19,901 Okay. 996 00:58:19,967 --> 00:58:20,299 Yeah. 997 00:58:20,301 --> 00:58:21,836 So... 998 00:58:22,136 --> 00:58:23,771 Besides the equipment... 999 00:58:24,672 --> 00:58:26,140 And us... 1000 00:58:28,209 --> 00:58:30,009 You can still shoot the rest of your movie. 1001 00:58:58,873 --> 00:59:00,708 I remember thinking I was brilliant. 1002 00:59:03,577 --> 00:59:04,843 Come get this fucker! 1003 00:59:04,845 --> 00:59:06,580 I wanted them to be wasted. 1004 00:59:09,750 --> 00:59:11,350 I wanted it to be real. 1005 00:59:14,655 --> 00:59:15,621 And... 1006 00:59:17,658 --> 00:59:19,160 I guess in this moment... 1007 00:59:21,295 --> 00:59:23,729 Their performances were brilliant. 1008 00:59:25,766 --> 00:59:27,868 Or at least realistic. 1009 00:59:28,903 --> 00:59:30,369 We're having a baby! 1010 00:59:32,106 --> 00:59:32,938 Wasted. 1011 00:59:38,547 --> 00:59:41,515 And even though he didn't die... 1012 00:59:42,049 --> 00:59:43,684 You're trying to get him over here. 1013 00:59:44,351 --> 00:59:47,088 No amount of real is worth someone's life. 1014 00:59:48,055 --> 00:59:49,623 Sam. 1015 00:59:50,257 --> 00:59:51,490 And then... 1016 00:59:51,492 --> 00:59:52,960 Yeah, look back at her. 1017 01:00:15,716 --> 01:00:17,151 You alright? 1018 01:00:26,894 --> 01:00:28,829 When I was in the sixth grade... 1019 01:00:29,463 --> 01:00:32,033 My dad told me he had HIV. 1020 01:00:35,736 --> 01:00:37,738 He'd had it my whole life. 1021 01:00:38,472 --> 01:00:39,539 And I didn't tell anyone. 1022 01:00:42,109 --> 01:00:43,442 Maybe because saying it out loud 1023 01:00:43,444 --> 01:00:44,812 would have made it true. 1024 01:00:45,012 --> 01:00:46,579 Or because... 1025 01:00:50,217 --> 01:00:52,553 Every person I saw like him was a character in a movie. 1026 01:00:53,387 --> 01:00:55,189 How long was I asleep? 1027 01:00:55,890 --> 01:00:57,224 And they all died. 1028 01:01:01,228 --> 01:01:02,563 Where is everyone? 1029 01:01:07,034 --> 01:01:08,302 I guess they're really gone. 1030 01:01:12,574 --> 01:01:14,675 But my dad didn't die. 1031 01:01:15,544 --> 01:01:17,678 And so I cast him in my film... 1032 01:01:19,013 --> 01:01:20,714 As the father of the main character. 1033 01:01:21,650 --> 01:01:23,117 We can film it on this. 1034 01:01:24,251 --> 01:01:25,653 What is that? 1035 01:01:25,686 --> 01:01:27,321 Your dad gave it to me. 1036 01:01:28,289 --> 01:01:29,589 I already got some pretty cool shots on it. 1037 01:01:29,591 --> 01:01:31,356 No, absolutely not. 1038 01:01:31,358 --> 01:01:32,760 This is the... 1039 01:01:33,127 --> 01:01:35,662 This is the most important scene 1040 01:01:35,664 --> 01:01:37,664 of the entire film. 1041 01:01:37,666 --> 01:01:39,498 She is saying goodbye to her dead dad 1042 01:01:39,500 --> 01:01:40,699 before she gets the fuck out of town. 1043 01:01:40,701 --> 01:01:41,833 And if we don't get it, 1044 01:01:41,835 --> 01:01:42,834 it's not gonna make fucking sense. 1045 01:01:42,836 --> 01:01:44,371 It's not gonna be good. 1046 01:01:45,105 --> 01:01:47,308 When did being good ever stop you? 1047 01:01:50,411 --> 01:01:52,213 Now come on, let's shoot this scene. 1048 01:01:55,482 --> 01:01:58,651 So all I did was lay in the grave for two hours 1049 01:01:58,653 --> 01:02:00,886 contemplating death for nothing? 1050 01:02:00,888 --> 01:02:02,354 This is so fucking stupid. 1051 01:02:07,696 --> 01:02:09,230 Hello? 1052 01:02:20,508 --> 01:02:22,076 Is that a real grave? 1053 01:02:25,279 --> 01:02:26,680 You wanna hit? 1054 01:02:27,114 --> 01:02:28,649 Stop! 1055 01:02:29,116 --> 01:02:31,218 We share everything on this Hill. 1056 01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:41,695 When I was your age, 1057 01:02:42,363 --> 01:02:44,129 one of us just stood up on a park bench 1058 01:02:44,131 --> 01:02:46,333 and spun around and pointed north. 1059 01:02:46,967 --> 01:02:48,402 We had to get out of the city. 1060 01:02:49,336 --> 01:02:51,138 We didn't want to be with those people. 1061 01:02:51,405 --> 01:02:52,840 Live with them. 1062 01:02:53,073 --> 01:02:54,273 We certainly didn't want to be 1063 01:02:54,275 --> 01:02:56,143 buried near them either, huh? 1064 01:02:56,544 --> 01:02:58,679 Dad, she doesn't want to hear your story. 1065 01:02:58,946 --> 01:02:59,845 Did you hear something? 1066 01:03:02,149 --> 01:03:03,549 Are you sure you guys are related? 1067 01:03:06,253 --> 01:03:07,654 I know. How could somebody so beautiful 1068 01:03:07,656 --> 01:03:09,356 have a father like me? 1069 01:03:10,725 --> 01:03:13,227 I'm sure. I'm sure. 1070 01:03:15,796 --> 01:03:17,965 She didn't tell you how her moms conceived her? 1071 01:03:17,998 --> 01:03:19,467 - Dad! - No. 1072 01:03:19,933 --> 01:03:22,069 Don't mind her. I'll tell you. 1073 01:03:34,481 --> 01:03:35,013 Really? 1074 01:03:35,517 --> 01:03:35,782 Yup. 1075 01:03:37,652 --> 01:03:40,185 Imagine growing up your whole life, 1076 01:03:40,187 --> 01:03:42,189 "people telling you, "Make a movie! 1077 01:03:42,757 --> 01:03:45,694 You got a great fucking story!" 1078 01:03:48,462 --> 01:03:49,196 Shit. 1079 01:03:49,597 --> 01:03:52,064 That fucking great story is that 1080 01:03:52,066 --> 01:03:54,466 your moms are lesbians and your dad is gonna die. 1081 01:03:56,370 --> 01:03:58,170 Maybe you should make a film. 1082 01:03:58,172 --> 01:03:59,873 Believe me, I tried. 1083 01:04:01,108 --> 01:04:03,344 I bought that video camera for her birth. 1084 01:04:03,911 --> 01:04:05,413 I tried all that. 1085 01:04:05,680 --> 01:04:07,748 It was misunderstood. 1086 01:04:08,616 --> 01:04:09,984 So I just gave it up. 1087 01:04:10,918 --> 01:04:11,850 well, that's a shame. 1088 01:04:11,852 --> 01:04:13,421 Nah. 1089 01:04:13,987 --> 01:04:16,388 It's a terrible world out there, girl. 1090 01:04:16,390 --> 01:04:20,995 But the strong women said to the faggots, 1091 01:04:21,462 --> 01:04:23,095 "There are two important things to remember 1092 01:04:23,097 --> 01:04:24,965 about the coming revolution. 1093 01:04:26,467 --> 01:04:29,136 The first is that we will get our asses kicked. 1094 01:04:29,870 --> 01:04:32,407 "The second is that we will win." 1095 01:04:34,475 --> 01:04:35,909 Did you write that? 1096 01:04:36,176 --> 01:04:38,413 No. A friend did. He's dead. 1097 01:04:41,949 --> 01:04:44,851 But it always reminded me of us up here on this Hill. 1098 01:04:53,795 --> 01:04:55,530 So the film was about a young woman. 1099 01:04:59,333 --> 01:05:01,503 Who was taking care of her dying father. 1100 01:05:03,605 --> 01:05:05,239 She gets pregnant 1101 01:05:05,740 --> 01:05:06,873 and decides to leave home 1102 01:05:06,875 --> 01:05:08,275 in search of her mother, 1103 01:05:08,777 --> 01:05:10,008 who abandoned her at birth. 1104 01:05:14,181 --> 01:05:16,216 This is a true story. 1105 01:05:17,418 --> 01:05:18,886 Except... 1106 01:05:19,554 --> 01:05:21,854 I have two moms. 1107 01:05:21,856 --> 01:05:23,991 I had two abortions. 1108 01:05:24,291 --> 01:05:28,226 And my dad survived. 1109 01:05:28,228 --> 01:05:30,763 Okay. So that's a wrap wrap. 1110 01:05:30,765 --> 01:05:32,431 Wrap! 1111 01:05:32,433 --> 01:05:34,534 I'll probably take a look at it and see if... 1112 01:05:34,536 --> 01:05:36,401 And I think I made the main character 1113 01:05:36,403 --> 01:05:39,070 live this parallel life to mine 1114 01:05:39,072 --> 01:05:41,576 because I didn't know how to talk about these things. 1115 01:05:43,410 --> 01:05:45,143 Or I didn't trust the rules of cinema 1116 01:05:45,145 --> 01:05:46,846 to do them justice. 1117 01:05:46,848 --> 01:05:48,280 - Dancing is my life. - Good! 1118 01:05:48,282 --> 01:05:49,014 That was so awkward. 1119 01:05:49,016 --> 01:05:50,182 Or... 1120 01:05:50,184 --> 01:05:50,850 You get to dance again tomorrow. 1121 01:05:50,852 --> 01:05:52,384 I was afraid to. 1122 01:05:55,890 --> 01:05:57,492 Still... 1123 01:05:58,492 --> 01:06:00,992 I wish I could show you something that is true. 1124 01:06:50,477 --> 01:06:53,011 Did you know that most filmmakers spend 1125 01:06:53,013 --> 01:06:55,280 their entire lives 1126 01:06:55,282 --> 01:06:57,182 making some version of the same movie. 1127 01:06:59,821 --> 01:07:00,620 And I wonder... 1128 01:07:02,222 --> 01:07:06,594 Every time are they this alone? 1129 01:07:28,716 --> 01:07:30,983 Okay! Let's go see mama. 1130 01:07:30,985 --> 01:07:31,717 Boop! 1131 01:08:57,038 --> 01:08:58,540 You're so pretty. 1132 01:09:04,112 --> 01:09:05,613 What's your film about? 1133 01:09:59,499 --> 01:10:01,134 Hey! 1134 01:10:02,937 --> 01:10:04,606 Hey! 1135 01:10:06,808 --> 01:10:08,074 You're naked. 1136 01:10:09,043 --> 01:10:10,478 So are you. 1137 01:10:11,344 --> 01:10:13,280 Can we get the fuck out of here? 1138 01:10:15,717 --> 01:10:17,652 Wait, we can't take his truck. 1139 01:10:17,852 --> 01:10:19,286 Just get in. 1140 01:10:20,121 --> 01:10:21,456 Man, I should pee. 1141 01:10:24,291 --> 01:10:25,827 Yeah, me too. 1142 01:10:29,630 --> 01:10:30,462 Oh god! 1143 01:10:41,341 --> 01:10:43,210 I just decided, 1144 01:10:44,411 --> 01:10:46,447 I'm going to go away after we finish the film. 1145 01:10:47,115 --> 01:10:48,650 There's this school. 1146 01:10:49,083 --> 01:10:50,685 I could take some film classes. 1147 01:10:52,285 --> 01:10:55,322 And it's near my dad's so I can take care of him too. 1148 01:10:56,190 --> 01:10:58,693 And I need to stop smoking. 1149 01:11:03,330 --> 01:11:04,163 What? 1150 01:11:08,669 --> 01:11:10,672 I don't think we're gonna finish the film. 1151 01:11:11,338 --> 01:11:12,907 Shut up. 1152 01:11:28,156 --> 01:11:28,921 Come on. 1153 01:11:29,957 --> 01:11:30,488 Come on. 1154 01:11:30,490 --> 01:11:31,893 Dance with me. 1155 01:11:33,928 --> 01:11:34,425 Come on. 1156 01:11:35,328 --> 01:11:37,129 Come on. 1157 01:11:44,639 --> 01:11:49,008 ♪ You were the rainbow ♪ 1158 01:11:49,010 --> 01:11:52,645 ♪ You were the wind ♪ 1159 01:11:52,647 --> 01:11:56,314 ♪ You were the perfume ♪ 1160 01:11:56,316 --> 01:11:59,821 ♪ You were even a friend ♪ 1161 01:12:00,521 --> 01:12:03,354 ♪ Everybody knows That paradise ♪ 1162 01:12:03,356 --> 01:12:05,224 ♪ Is blue ♪ 1163 01:12:20,241 --> 01:12:21,874 You don't need to tell me what happened, man. 1164 01:12:21,876 --> 01:12:23,343 I get it. 1165 01:12:23,711 --> 01:12:25,413 You know I got pregnant too. 1166 01:12:25,513 --> 01:12:26,848 While you were gone. 1167 01:12:27,181 --> 01:12:28,649 Fuck that. 1168 01:12:29,150 --> 01:12:30,481 Making this film has been... 1169 01:12:30,483 --> 01:12:32,854 Fucking freeing. 1170 01:12:33,187 --> 01:12:35,456 A real resolution for me. 1171 01:12:55,943 --> 01:12:57,512 Come on. 1172 01:13:01,015 --> 01:13:02,483 Fuck, come on! 1173 01:13:03,483 --> 01:13:04,350 - What are we doing? - Just come here. 1174 01:13:04,352 --> 01:13:05,887 Okay! 1175 01:13:07,355 --> 01:13:08,890 Ready? 1176 01:13:09,523 --> 01:13:10,992 And a one. 1177 01:13:11,458 --> 01:13:12,960 And a two. 1178 01:13:13,828 --> 01:13:14,960 Three! 1179 01:13:25,606 --> 01:13:27,340 I mean tonight was fun but... 1180 01:13:27,842 --> 01:13:29,541 I want more than dudes who just want 1181 01:13:29,543 --> 01:13:31,913 to fuck us and have their babies. 1182 01:13:35,383 --> 01:13:36,782 We've got to finish making the film. 1183 01:13:44,592 --> 01:13:46,794 You were always next to me. 1184 01:13:50,031 --> 01:13:52,433 Falling in love with making something. 1185 01:13:53,301 --> 01:13:55,636 No matter how treacherous. 1186 01:13:55,903 --> 01:13:57,336 Biting. 1187 01:13:57,338 --> 01:13:58,237 Cruel. 1188 01:14:04,679 --> 01:14:06,581 and so, ready or not, 1189 01:14:06,914 --> 01:14:08,348 willing or not, 1190 01:14:08,481 --> 01:14:10,082 we must come to comprehend 1191 01:14:10,084 --> 01:14:11,686 with full responsibility 1192 01:14:12,086 --> 01:14:14,485 the world which we've now created. 1193 01:14:28,869 --> 01:14:30,705 It's the best thing you ever said to me. 1194 01:14:31,471 --> 01:14:33,439 That was actually the best thing 1195 01:14:33,441 --> 01:14:36,110 you ever said to me. 1196 01:15:18,386 --> 01:15:19,654 It's going to be okay. 1197 01:16:13,374 --> 01:16:14,440 You okay? 1198 01:16:16,343 --> 01:16:17,878 We'll do that again. 1199 01:16:18,079 --> 01:16:19,513 Okay. 1200 01:16:20,047 --> 01:16:21,180 I think it's going. 1201 01:16:24,618 --> 01:16:25,984 Okay, start walking. 1202 01:16:38,365 --> 01:16:40,634 Can you put your legs over there? 1203 01:17:15,336 --> 01:17:16,301 Hi. 1204 01:17:26,480 --> 01:17:27,615 What are you doing? 1205 01:17:27,715 --> 01:17:30,217 Just looking for planes. 1206 01:17:38,527 --> 01:17:40,294 You a ghost? 1207 01:17:40,895 --> 01:17:42,861 Boo! 1208 01:17:46,635 --> 01:17:48,702 Shouldn't you be going to the hospital or something? 1209 01:17:52,541 --> 01:17:54,973 I read this story once in the newspaper 1210 01:17:54,975 --> 01:17:57,978 about this kid who had to be born in the hospital. 1211 01:17:59,614 --> 01:18:01,947 See, there was this lady. 1212 01:18:01,949 --> 01:18:04,049 She kept trying to have babies. 1213 01:18:04,051 --> 01:18:06,118 But every time she had a baby, 1214 01:18:06,120 --> 01:18:08,122 it would die in her stomach. 1215 01:18:08,722 --> 01:18:10,657 So the grandmother said, 1216 01:18:10,659 --> 01:18:14,662 "Oh, I've already had babies. I can have another one." 1217 01:18:14,762 --> 01:18:16,596 So that's what they did. 1218 01:18:16,598 --> 01:18:19,164 They took the sperm and they put it inside the egg, 1219 01:18:19,166 --> 01:18:20,365 and then they took the egg 1220 01:18:20,367 --> 01:18:22,069 and they put it in the grandmother. 1221 01:18:23,003 --> 01:18:24,036 And when it was ready to come out, 1222 01:18:24,038 --> 01:18:26,071 they took her to the hospital 1223 01:18:26,073 --> 01:18:28,909 and they cut her open and took the baby out. 1224 01:18:29,109 --> 01:18:30,275 Wow. 1225 01:18:30,277 --> 01:18:31,544 Yeah. 1226 01:18:31,546 --> 01:18:32,980 It was really cool. 1227 01:18:33,881 --> 01:18:36,050 Except since it was born from its grandmother, 1228 01:18:37,084 --> 01:18:39,586 it had like old lady blood. 1229 01:18:39,588 --> 01:18:40,819 So it was like an old person 1230 01:18:40,821 --> 01:18:43,722 and a young person in one. 1231 01:18:46,528 --> 01:18:48,126 Anyway, that probably won't happen to you 1232 01:18:48,128 --> 01:18:49,897 because you're not an old person. 1233 01:18:49,964 --> 01:18:51,632 And what am I? 1234 01:18:52,634 --> 01:18:56,971 In this life, ideally, happy. 1235 01:18:58,339 --> 01:18:59,404 You want a hit? 1236 01:18:59,406 --> 01:19:00,975 Cut! 1237 01:19:02,109 --> 01:19:02,609 What? 1238 01:19:02,611 --> 01:19:04,176 Cut! 1239 01:19:04,178 --> 01:19:06,713 Why did you stop us? We were just getting going. 1240 01:19:06,715 --> 01:19:07,846 Dad, she's pregnant. 1241 01:19:07,848 --> 01:19:09,214 You can't offer her weed. 1242 01:19:09,216 --> 01:19:11,083 You know, I don't even know 1243 01:19:11,085 --> 01:19:13,120 if the film is about her being pregnant. 1244 01:19:13,787 --> 01:19:15,256 Have you ever seen a pregnant person? 1245 01:19:15,756 --> 01:19:17,158 Look at that belly. 1246 01:19:19,059 --> 01:19:20,292 What do you mean? It looks good. 1247 01:19:21,529 --> 01:19:22,695 It looks like a pillow. 1248 01:19:22,697 --> 01:19:24,231 No, it doesn't. 1249 01:19:25,567 --> 01:19:28,068 - It does. - Totally. 1250 01:19:28,769 --> 01:19:30,838 Why didn't anyone tell me? 1251 01:19:32,641 --> 01:19:33,872 Does it even matter? 1252 01:19:35,644 --> 01:19:37,311 Oh, shit! 1253 01:19:37,411 --> 01:19:39,444 It is a pillow. 1254 01:19:39,446 --> 01:19:41,179 Hang on, this is not a joke, dad. 1255 01:19:41,181 --> 01:19:43,849 My whole fucking life is riding on this movie 1256 01:19:43,851 --> 01:19:45,217 so I need the belly to look like 1257 01:19:45,219 --> 01:19:47,019 a fucking pregnancy belly. 1258 01:19:47,021 --> 01:19:48,621 Why didn't we have this conversation 1259 01:19:48,623 --> 01:19:50,891 like nine months ago, Alexis? 1260 01:19:51,158 --> 01:19:53,027 I think people tried to. 1261 01:19:55,730 --> 01:19:57,630 I'm scared. 1262 01:19:57,632 --> 01:19:59,798 Has the belly looked fake the whole time? 1263 01:19:59,800 --> 01:20:01,300 I like it. 1264 01:20:01,302 --> 01:20:04,705 It's like an allegory. Like a metaphor. 1265 01:20:05,339 --> 01:20:08,142 It's like an act of creation. 1266 01:20:08,442 --> 01:20:10,075 Pillow is child, 1267 01:20:10,077 --> 01:20:13,011 soft, weird, hot air, 1268 01:20:13,013 --> 01:20:16,549 cumulus, myth, way up and way down. 1269 01:20:16,551 --> 01:20:18,886 What does it all mean? 1270 01:20:19,086 --> 01:20:21,019 The belly should be realistic. 1271 01:20:21,021 --> 01:20:22,555 Like, she really is pregnant. 1272 01:20:22,557 --> 01:20:23,922 I feel like it's depends 1273 01:20:23,924 --> 01:20:24,624 what kind of movie you want to make, 1274 01:20:24,626 --> 01:20:26,693 but the show is based in reality, right? 1275 01:20:26,695 --> 01:20:28,128 What? 1276 01:20:28,996 --> 01:20:32,399 Where are you from? You can't show everything. 1277 01:20:33,535 --> 01:20:37,271 Reality has never, will never be safe. 1278 01:20:37,739 --> 01:20:40,005 Not for me, not for you. 1279 01:20:40,007 --> 01:20:42,874 Reality is not art. 1280 01:20:42,876 --> 01:20:45,079 Art is this. 1281 01:20:47,348 --> 01:20:50,382 Up in the clouds, floating to the future. 1282 01:20:52,554 --> 01:20:54,620 Yeah, you just gotta explain to 1283 01:20:54,622 --> 01:20:56,388 the audience why you have to be so... 1284 01:21:00,494 --> 01:21:02,427 And I remember this so well. 1285 01:21:05,633 --> 01:21:08,302 It's just for a moment I stopped caring. 1286 01:21:09,738 --> 01:21:11,372 Because it was so beautiful. 1287 01:21:14,208 --> 01:21:16,377 Just to be making something with people. 1288 01:21:33,093 --> 01:21:35,430 I wish I had stayed right here. 1289 01:21:45,740 --> 01:21:51,111 So, is this movie about pregnancy? 1290 01:21:55,717 --> 01:21:57,884 I named the main character Anne Marie 1291 01:21:57,886 --> 01:21:59,786 because I had read somewhere 1292 01:21:59,788 --> 01:22:02,323 that it means mother and daughter in one. 1293 01:22:04,224 --> 01:22:07,429 And the film had many endings. 1294 01:22:08,563 --> 01:22:12,166 But by the time Anne Marie finally gives birth, 1295 01:22:12,933 --> 01:22:14,801 which is a scene we actually shot 1296 01:22:14,803 --> 01:22:16,569 before the entire crew quit, 1297 01:22:18,405 --> 01:22:21,206 We were supposed to understand 1298 01:22:21,208 --> 01:22:24,446 that she's not giving birth to a baby. 1299 01:22:26,313 --> 01:22:29,383 Instead, and please hold your laughter, 1300 01:22:31,619 --> 01:22:34,922 the audience has come to understand... 1301 01:22:35,055 --> 01:22:36,624 Action. 1302 01:22:38,593 --> 01:22:43,263 That she is giving birth to herself. 1303 01:22:53,541 --> 01:22:57,442 And after meticulously cutting together the montage, 1304 01:22:57,444 --> 01:22:59,478 in which Anne Marie gives birth to herself 1305 01:22:59,480 --> 01:23:01,549 in all the places she's already been. 1306 01:23:02,884 --> 01:23:04,517 I went to the post office, 1307 01:23:06,588 --> 01:23:08,754 And I mailed the film to as many film festivals 1308 01:23:08,756 --> 01:23:10,155 as I could afford to. 1309 01:23:10,157 --> 01:23:13,461 Maybe a hundred or... 1310 01:23:14,662 --> 01:23:17,030 Fifty or twenty or 1311 01:23:18,065 --> 01:23:19,599 twelve. 1312 01:23:23,605 --> 01:23:25,473 And I went home. 1313 01:23:28,075 --> 01:23:29,910 And I waited. 1314 01:23:33,413 --> 01:23:36,983 And here's the real plot twist. 1315 01:23:36,985 --> 01:23:41,019 Push! 1316 01:23:41,021 --> 01:23:47,392 The film was not accepted into a single festival. 1317 01:23:56,971 --> 01:23:59,872 After I received that final rejection, I pissed blood. 1318 01:24:03,343 --> 01:24:04,610 See, despite doing everything that 1319 01:24:04,612 --> 01:24:07,449 they tell young filmmakers to do, 1320 01:24:08,750 --> 01:24:11,686 despite begging and borrowing and stealing, 1321 01:24:12,486 --> 01:24:14,654 alienating my friends and family, 1322 01:24:14,656 --> 01:24:16,622 and writing from my experience and crowd funding, 1323 01:24:16,624 --> 01:24:18,624 and almost fucking killing someone. 1324 01:24:27,100 --> 01:24:28,968 If you look the film up online 1325 01:24:28,970 --> 01:24:32,139 right now, it is considered abandoned. 1326 01:24:37,411 --> 01:24:41,982 And my film was never seen by anyone. 1327 01:24:58,633 --> 01:25:00,398 And last night I stayed up 1328 01:25:00,400 --> 01:25:03,201 watching my film again and again. 1329 01:25:10,110 --> 01:25:12,279 And I texted a friend. 1330 01:25:12,547 --> 01:25:15,514 Why am I the only person I know 1331 01:25:15,516 --> 01:25:18,252 who this has happened to? 1332 01:25:23,024 --> 01:25:25,057 And they must have looked away from their phone. 1333 01:25:27,394 --> 01:25:29,196 Back again. 1334 01:25:30,798 --> 01:25:33,601 And said to me. 1335 01:26:11,906 --> 01:26:13,508 Are you still there? 1336 01:26:22,150 --> 01:26:23,983 So this is my first film. 1337 01:26:28,455 --> 01:26:30,089 I thought that writing it out 1338 01:26:30,091 --> 01:26:31,991 and filming it and casting an actress 1339 01:26:31,993 --> 01:26:33,793 to play me was going to make it all feel better, 1340 01:26:33,795 --> 01:26:36,529 but I never thought about it ending. 1341 01:26:40,968 --> 01:26:43,234 I've tried so many times to tell this story, 1342 01:26:43,236 --> 01:26:46,139 but if I could not get here, 1343 01:26:47,875 --> 01:26:49,611 to you, 1344 01:26:52,379 --> 01:26:54,547 I would abort the project. 1345 01:26:58,619 --> 01:27:00,888 Because abortion is... 1346 01:27:04,424 --> 01:27:06,561 An understanding. 1347 01:27:11,733 --> 01:27:12,832 But abandoned. 1348 01:27:15,002 --> 01:27:16,571 Unseen. 1349 01:27:37,592 --> 01:27:39,460 Look what you did. 1350 01:27:44,297 --> 01:27:46,266 I feel like I'm doing a bad job. 1351 01:28:12,627 --> 01:28:14,762 How does this film end, Zia? 1352 01:28:16,931 --> 01:28:17,997 What do we do now? 1353 01:28:44,926 --> 01:28:45,958 Okay. 1354 01:28:45,960 --> 01:28:47,059 Okay. 1355 01:28:48,129 --> 01:28:49,664 Okay. 1356 01:28:51,165 --> 01:28:52,734 Jessie. 1357 01:28:56,170 --> 01:28:58,506 Hi. Are you ready to move on? 1358 01:28:58,906 --> 01:29:00,005 Yeah. 1359 01:29:00,007 --> 01:29:00,906 Let's go. 1360 01:29:00,908 --> 01:29:02,443 Okay. 1361 01:29:02,777 --> 01:29:03,776 Yeah. 1362 01:29:14,555 --> 01:29:16,023 It doesn't end. 1363 01:29:19,093 --> 01:29:21,763 But you will make something again. 1364 01:29:23,598 --> 01:29:27,602 With people you care about, and who care about you. 1365 01:29:30,671 --> 01:29:33,438 And it will be hard 1366 01:29:33,440 --> 01:29:35,342 and embarrassing. 1367 01:29:40,114 --> 01:29:43,818 But eventually you will stop losing sleep. 1368 01:29:44,451 --> 01:29:46,654 And stop worrying. 1369 01:29:49,724 --> 01:29:51,924 You will make things from joy. 1370 01:29:51,926 --> 01:29:54,294 And not despair. 1371 01:29:55,930 --> 01:29:59,531 Even films that should not be films. 1372 01:30:01,769 --> 01:30:06,138 And every time you will give birth to yourself. 1373 01:30:06,140 --> 01:30:10,044 And every time you will find a new version of the truth. 1374 01:30:10,111 --> 01:30:12,713 Again and again. 1375 01:30:13,681 --> 01:30:15,049 And again. 1376 01:30:25,393 --> 01:30:26,659 Vita. 1377 01:30:27,494 --> 01:30:28,493 Birthday. 1378 01:30:28,495 --> 01:30:29,695 Please. 1379 01:30:29,697 --> 01:30:31,732 November 23rd. 1380 01:30:31,999 --> 01:30:32,967 Oh. 1381 01:30:33,067 --> 01:30:34,600 Happy belated! 1382 01:30:34,602 --> 01:30:36,938 23 on 23. 1383 01:30:37,738 --> 01:30:39,907 That is a once in a lifetime year. 1384 01:30:42,843 --> 01:30:44,412 Alright. 1385 01:30:45,813 --> 01:30:47,079 So how are you feeling? 1386 01:30:50,384 --> 01:30:52,885 Okay. I just want to remind you 1387 01:30:52,887 --> 01:30:55,990 that you are absolutely within your rights to be here. 1388 01:30:58,993 --> 01:31:00,793 And if you've been having any new doubts 1389 01:31:00,795 --> 01:31:02,361 since you signed the consent, 1390 01:31:02,363 --> 01:31:04,697 you are also absolutely within your rights to 1391 01:31:04,699 --> 01:31:07,535 leave this room without this procedure. 1392 01:31:09,737 --> 01:31:12,073 So may I ask you, 1393 01:31:12,873 --> 01:31:14,642 are you having any doubts? 1394 01:31:16,911 --> 01:31:17,475 No. 1395 01:31:17,477 --> 01:31:19,013 Okay. 1396 01:31:19,780 --> 01:31:21,280 Then I'd like to tell you something. 1397 01:31:21,282 --> 01:31:23,451 It's something I tell everyone. 1398 01:31:25,353 --> 01:31:26,819 What we're about to do here 1399 01:31:26,821 --> 01:31:29,688 is remove a small group of cells 1400 01:31:29,690 --> 01:31:31,859 that could not exist outside of your body. 1401 01:31:33,060 --> 01:31:34,893 I just want to be sure we dissolve any fear 1402 01:31:34,895 --> 01:31:36,831 you might have about regret. Okay? 1403 01:31:36,998 --> 01:31:38,532 Okay. 1404 01:31:39,734 --> 01:31:42,803 So I'm going to talk you through absolutely everything. 1405 01:31:43,637 --> 01:31:45,740 But first, would you like a tissue? 1406 01:32:02,156 --> 01:32:03,858 Okay. 1407 01:32:08,095 --> 01:32:09,497 That's better? 1408 01:32:10,765 --> 01:32:13,866 Alright. So go ahead and lean back 1409 01:32:13,868 --> 01:32:16,869 and put your feet into the... 1410 01:32:16,871 --> 01:32:19,006 Into the stirrups here for me. 1411 01:32:19,740 --> 01:32:21,907 Great. And then just 1412 01:32:21,909 --> 01:32:23,976 scooch down the table just a little. 1413 01:32:23,978 --> 01:32:24,576 Mm-hmm. 1414 01:32:24,578 --> 01:32:26,113 And... 1415 01:32:26,947 --> 01:32:28,816 Go ahead and place your hands right here. 1416 01:32:30,084 --> 01:32:31,652 Perfect. 1417 01:32:33,587 --> 01:32:35,054 Oops. 1418 01:32:35,056 --> 01:32:36,590 Okay. 1419 01:32:43,297 --> 01:32:44,832 Okay. 1420 01:32:44,899 --> 01:32:45,731 Cold hands coming through. 1421 01:32:45,733 --> 01:32:47,134 Are you ready? 1422 01:32:47,301 --> 01:32:48,169 Yeah. 1423 01:32:58,746 --> 01:33:01,582 It is so cool to see you as an adult. 1424 01:33:03,617 --> 01:33:04,817 I mean, you wouldn't remember me. 1425 01:33:04,819 --> 01:33:06,821 You were just that tiny baby. 1426 01:33:08,889 --> 01:33:11,492 I was a midwife's assistant back then. 1427 01:33:12,093 --> 01:33:15,162 I was at your birth. I helped deliver you. 1428 01:33:17,264 --> 01:33:18,899 I'm sorry. Would you like me to be quiet? 1429 01:33:19,467 --> 01:33:21,569 Some people do prefer quiet. 1430 01:33:24,371 --> 01:33:26,007 Did you pick this music? 1431 01:33:27,842 --> 01:33:29,509 It reminds me of my Enya days. 1432 01:33:29,511 --> 01:33:31,245 It's a really great choice. 1433 01:33:32,446 --> 01:33:33,914 Speculum. 1434 01:33:34,281 --> 01:33:36,283 That's the thing that's shaped like a duck bill. 1435 01:33:43,023 --> 01:33:45,824 You know, the story of your conception 1436 01:33:45,826 --> 01:33:47,862 is really pretty extraordinary. 1437 01:33:48,496 --> 01:33:49,997 The town myth. 1438 01:33:51,465 --> 01:33:53,801 You're going to feel something like a small pinch now? 1439 01:34:04,011 --> 01:34:05,880 Actually, would you tell it to me? 1440 01:34:06,615 --> 01:34:08,049 This story of your conception? 1441 01:34:10,151 --> 01:34:11,685 Okay. 1442 01:34:12,853 --> 01:34:14,688 Where should we begin? 1443 01:34:17,892 --> 01:34:20,127 First, your father 1444 01:34:20,895 --> 01:34:24,298 finds a 35mm film canister. 1445 01:34:25,833 --> 01:34:27,768 And then he jerks off into it. 1446 01:34:28,570 --> 01:34:30,068 And then he puts on the top 1447 01:34:30,070 --> 01:34:32,006 and puts it into his breast pocket. 1448 01:34:35,276 --> 01:34:37,978 He puts on his coat and goes out into a snowstorm. 1449 01:34:40,114 --> 01:34:42,116 He makes sure to keep his hand 1450 01:34:42,383 --> 01:34:44,082 over his heart 1451 01:34:44,084 --> 01:34:46,120 to keep that canister warm. 1452 01:34:49,957 --> 01:34:52,293 At the top of the hill, he knocks on a cabin door. 1453 01:34:52,793 --> 01:34:54,662 And your moms answer. 1454 01:34:55,329 --> 01:34:57,630 They take that 35mm canister from him 1455 01:34:57,632 --> 01:34:59,266 and slam the door. 1456 01:35:00,569 --> 01:35:02,167 And then they load the contents 1457 01:35:02,169 --> 01:35:04,705 into a small plastic syringe. 1458 01:35:05,239 --> 01:35:08,609 The kind that's usually used to feed baby cats. 1459 01:35:11,946 --> 01:35:14,281 And then one of them uses that syringe 1460 01:35:14,882 --> 01:35:17,084 to inject the contents 1461 01:35:17,952 --> 01:35:20,187 into her cervix. 1462 01:35:23,123 --> 01:35:24,825 And... 1463 01:35:27,294 --> 01:35:29,096 Nine months later, 1464 01:35:29,997 --> 01:35:31,799 you were born. 1465 01:35:33,734 --> 01:35:35,267 And that's a true story. 1466 01:35:39,873 --> 01:35:41,342 So, 1467 01:35:42,309 --> 01:35:44,345 are you ready for a loud noise? 1468 01:35:48,215 --> 01:35:49,650 Good. 1469 01:35:52,386 --> 01:35:57,825 You know, all you need is a body to create. 1470 01:35:58,526 --> 01:36:00,394 But what you create, 1471 01:36:01,630 --> 01:36:03,297 that is up to you. 102047