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1
00:00:04,933 --> 00:00:06,969
-Hey.
-Look who's here...
2
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:09,482
-. . .an hour and a half late.
-I'm so sorry, Bobbie.
3
00:00:09,653 --> 00:00:12,008
What's gotten into you?
You're late all the time.
4
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:15,523
Last night you missed the benefit
with the lingerie models.
5
00:00:15,693 --> 00:00:19,163
Did they raise a lot of money?
Will those girls get the help they need?
6
00:00:19,693 --> 00:00:22,127
You are very erratic lately.
7
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:26,929
Are you doing some new designer drug
that you might have on your person?
8
00:00:27,613 --> 00:00:29,763
No, it's just-- I've been
working so much. . .
9
00:00:29,973 --> 00:00:32,407
... I'm having a hard time
keeping track of things.
10
00:00:32,613 --> 00:00:34,683
Well, you need to find
a personal assistant.
11
00:00:34,853 --> 00:00:37,003
-You think that would help?
-Sure.
12
00:00:37,213 --> 00:00:40,649
They'll run errands for you,
they organize your personal life.
13
00:00:40,813 --> 00:00:44,522
Plus, they do tricks. Watch this.
14
00:00:44,893 --> 00:00:47,566
Jason, could you be a doll. . .
15
00:00:47,733 --> 00:00:51,726
. . .and come in here with a cup
balanced on your head?
16
00:00:55,613 --> 00:00:57,843
Jason, say hi to Joey Tribbiani.
17
00:00:58,053 --> 00:01:00,521
Hello, I have a master's degree.
18
00:01:01,733 --> 00:01:04,566
Thanks, dear, that's all for now.
Back in the box.
19
00:01:05,893 --> 00:01:08,851
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna
get an assistant. Any advice?
20
00:01:09,053 --> 00:01:11,487
You need to find someone
who's a good fit for you.
21
00:01:11,653 --> 00:01:14,042
And personally, I'm always pro-gay.
22
00:01:14,213 --> 00:01:18,001
They smell good and they
got those quick little fingers.
23
00:01:18,613 --> 00:01:21,491
Bobbie, you have a
4:00 departmental meeting.
24
00:01:21,773 --> 00:01:25,243
Thank you, Jason.
Now do the robot for Joey.
25
00:01:33,813 --> 00:01:36,691
That is just what I need.
26
00:02:10,493 --> 00:02:11,812
Hey.
27
00:02:12,013 --> 00:02:13,332
Hi. What you got there?
28
00:02:13,493 --> 00:02:14,608
R�sum�s.
29
00:02:14,773 --> 00:02:18,402
Yeah, I need a personal
assistant now that I'm a busy celebrity.
30
00:02:18,653 --> 00:02:20,325
A guy recognized me yesterday.
31
00:02:20,533 --> 00:02:22,683
A homeless guy
asked if you were Jesus.
32
00:02:23,813 --> 00:02:25,724
He knew who I was.
33
00:02:29,573 --> 00:02:30,926
Hey.
34
00:02:31,173 --> 00:02:32,652
Hey, what's wrong?
35
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:36,204
I just got into a big fight with
my so-called friend, Seth.
36
00:02:36,413 --> 00:02:39,849
Nerds fight each other? Don't you
get enough grief from normal people?
37
00:02:40,893 --> 00:02:44,602
No, we-- We invented a new material
for the heat shields in rockets.
38
00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:48,607
Seth is filing a patent and he wants
to try and take all the credit himself.
39
00:02:48,853 --> 00:02:51,128
-Why would he?
-It's a scientific breakthrough.
40
00:02:51,333 --> 00:02:55,087
There's a lot at stake here. Money,
fame, a very specific kind of woman.
41
00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:59,045
You know, I can help you
sort that out. I mean, I am a lawyer.
42
00:02:59,253 --> 00:03:02,290
Sue him. I haven't been in a lawsuit
since that dog-biting thing.
43
00:03:02,453 --> 00:03:04,045
Whoa, whoa, whoa. A dog bit you?
44
00:03:04,253 --> 00:03:05,606
No, no, she bit the dog.
45
00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:10,170
Hey, I choose who humps me,
not the other way around.
46
00:03:10,653 --> 00:03:12,245
I'm not talking about a lawsuit.
47
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:14,045
I'm just talking about a mediation.
48
00:03:14,213 --> 00:03:16,408
I'll set up a meeting with
Seth and you show up.
49
00:03:16,573 --> 00:03:18,529
I don't know if that'll solve anything...
50
00:03:18,693 --> 00:03:21,082
-... but it's worth a shot. Okay, thanks.
-Sure.
51
00:03:21,293 --> 00:03:24,444
All right. Who wants to go through
this pile of r�sum�s with me. . .
52
00:03:24,613 --> 00:03:26,205
. . .and help me find an assistant?
53
00:03:26,533 --> 00:03:29,843
What are you wasting your time
with these idiots for? Hire me.
54
00:03:30,773 --> 00:03:32,889
Okay, if you really wanna do it.
55
00:03:33,253 --> 00:03:35,721
I don't like the way you
just said that. I quit.
56
00:03:36,013 --> 00:03:39,688
Well, I know I couldn't keep you
here forever. Good luck to you.
57
00:03:42,893 --> 00:03:46,249
Travis, your r�sum?is impressive.
Let me throw a scenario at you.
58
00:03:46,413 --> 00:03:50,088
I send you to the video store. Which
Diehard movie do you bring back?
59
00:03:50,293 --> 00:03:53,091
-The first one?
-I'm sorry, the answer was all three.
60
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,563
Thanks for stopping by.
61
00:03:58,453 --> 00:04:00,444
Let me be your assistant.
62
00:04:02,213 --> 00:04:03,532
Don't you already have a job?
63
00:04:03,693 --> 00:04:07,208
I'm senior vice-president of
the third largest bank in California.
64
00:04:07,933 --> 00:04:10,128
But it's a dead-end job.
65
00:04:13,973 --> 00:04:16,407
Hi, I'm here for the assistant position.
I'm Glen.
66
00:04:16,613 --> 00:04:18,843
-Joey.
-Glen, nice name.
67
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:21,846
Oh, what's yours?
68
00:04:22,013 --> 00:04:23,924
Howard J. Peckerman.
69
00:04:27,093 --> 00:04:29,084
Come on in, Glen.
70
00:04:30,093 --> 00:04:32,243
Why don't you tell
me a little about yourself.
71
00:04:32,413 --> 00:04:36,326
I moved out here five years ago.
Started doing this and loved it.
72
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,846
-Where you from?
-Minnesota.
73
00:04:38,053 --> 00:04:39,964
Wow, your English is great.
74
00:04:42,813 --> 00:04:45,008
-What kind of car do you drive?
-Pickup truck.
75
00:04:45,213 --> 00:04:48,205
If I hire you, may I ride around
in the back like a dog?
76
00:04:49,213 --> 00:04:51,283
-Sure, you're the boss.
-Excellent.
77
00:04:51,493 --> 00:04:54,246
Okay, next question.
It's 2 in the morning.
78
00:04:54,453 --> 00:04:57,286
I'm hungry.
What do you get me and why?
79
00:04:58,373 --> 00:05:00,125
I'm gonna have to go with pizza...
80
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:03,689
. . .because you can eat it directly off
your stomach without utensils. . .
81
00:05:03,853 --> 00:05:05,605
. . .while still lying in bed.
82
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:14,845
I gotta be honest with you, Glen,
you're blowing me away here.
83
00:05:16,613 --> 00:05:18,490
Let's get down
to the serious stuff.
84
00:05:18,653 --> 00:05:21,770
Who would win in a fight between
Dracula and the Wolfman?
85
00:05:21,933 --> 00:05:23,651
-Definitely the Wolfman.
-What?
86
00:05:23,813 --> 00:05:25,087
No way. How?
87
00:05:25,253 --> 00:05:28,051
Because he'd fight Dracula
to a draw until dawn. . .
88
00:05:28,213 --> 00:05:30,090
. . .and then Dracula
would turn to dust. . .
89
00:05:30,253 --> 00:05:32,483
. . .and the Wolfman would
turn into a normal dude.
90
00:05:33,253 --> 00:05:36,484
I never thought of it like that.
That changes everything.
91
00:05:37,893 --> 00:05:39,690
Joey, where were you?
92
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:43,329
You were supposed to help me clean
out my garage a half an hour ago.
93
00:05:43,493 --> 00:05:45,643
Look, Gina, I'm sorry, I... .
94
00:05:46,293 --> 00:05:48,966
Hi. I'm Glen, and this is all my fault.
95
00:05:49,173 --> 00:05:51,289
I was late and Joey
was just telling me that. . .
96
00:05:51,493 --> 00:05:54,371
. . .he was supposed to be helping you.
I'm really, really sorry.
97
00:05:54,533 --> 00:05:57,969
Yeah, thanks a lot, Glen. You made
me miss cleaning out her garage.
98
00:05:59,373 --> 00:06:00,886
Why didn't you just call?
99
00:06:01,053 --> 00:06:02,964
-l--
-He couldn't...
100
00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:05,408
. . .call because he was stuck
on the phone with me.
101
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:08,007
He had to give me directions.
I got lost.
102
00:06:08,173 --> 00:06:12,212
-I'm such an idiot.
-Yeah, stupid, stupid Glen.
103
00:06:12,933 --> 00:06:16,164
This neighborhood can be confusing.
I'm sorry I snapped at you, Joey.
104
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:18,403
-I'm gonna go make dinner.
-Okay.
105
00:06:20,173 --> 00:06:21,765
-You want the job?
-When do I start?
106
00:06:21,933 --> 00:06:23,651
I think you already did.
107
00:06:27,853 --> 00:06:29,844
-Hey, hey. Morning, boss.
-Hey.
108
00:06:30,013 --> 00:06:32,368
It was a late shoot last night,
but you were great.
109
00:06:32,533 --> 00:06:34,649
Thanks. It was
nice having you there.
110
00:06:34,813 --> 00:06:37,088
Thanks for running lines with me,
getting me water. . .
111
00:06:37,253 --> 00:06:39,813
-. . .and dealing with that crazy fan.
-She find your dressing room?
112
00:06:40,013 --> 00:06:41,605
Yes, she did.
113
00:06:42,133 --> 00:06:45,170
Okay, so listen, I have
these contracts for you to sign.
114
00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:47,642
And here is your schedule for today.
115
00:06:47,813 --> 00:06:49,724
And some girl Amelia called?
116
00:06:50,853 --> 00:06:53,492
Want me to break up with her
but still leave an opening. . .
117
00:06:53,653 --> 00:06:55,052
. . .so you can sleep together?
118
00:06:56,413 --> 00:06:59,166
You just got yourself
employee of the month.
119
00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:02,723
-Hey.
-Hey.
120
00:07:03,293 --> 00:07:06,330
I'm dropping off Michael's pants.
He asked me to hem them for him.
121
00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:09,127
-That's a good-looking hem.
-Thanks for noticing.
122
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:12,006
If I didn't take care of this stuff
he'd walk out naked.
123
00:07:12,213 --> 00:07:14,488
This one got marker all
over the wall yesterday.
124
00:07:18,933 --> 00:07:22,767
Hey, your sister's beautiful.
Is she single?
125
00:07:25,253 --> 00:07:29,166
My trusty valet is interested
in the lady of the manor.
126
00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:33,443
-Think I have a chance?
-Yeah.
127
00:07:34,933 --> 00:07:38,369
Hey, Gina. Listen, I think you're
really an interesting woman--
128
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:43,368
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're
working way too hard there, Glen.
129
00:07:43,773 --> 00:07:45,331
You wanna go out with this guy?
130
00:07:45,493 --> 00:07:47,006
I don't know that much about him.
131
00:07:47,213 --> 00:07:48,692
Let me ask you a few questions.
132
00:07:48,853 --> 00:07:50,923
-What kind of car do you drive?
-Pickup truck.
133
00:07:51,093 --> 00:07:53,368
Can we drive with
Joey in the back like a dog?
134
00:07:54,213 --> 00:07:56,010
I've already agreed to that.
135
00:07:56,213 --> 00:07:58,727
Okay, will you take
me to a nice restaurant?
136
00:07:58,933 --> 00:08:01,208
-What's a nice restaurant?
-Ketchup in a bottle. . .
137
00:08:01,373 --> 00:08:03,329
. . .all the crackers I want.
138
00:08:03,533 --> 00:08:06,969
-Do you need a salad bar?
-I am not the queen of England.
139
00:08:07,533 --> 00:08:10,093
-Well, I know a place.
-All right, pick me up at 7.
140
00:08:10,253 --> 00:08:11,845
All right.
141
00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:16,163
-So you and Gina, huh?
-Yeah.
142
00:08:16,373 --> 00:08:18,648
Let me tell you something.
That is my sister.
143
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:24,046
If you do anything to upset her, you're
gonna get the beating of a lifetime.
144
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:27,125
And then she's gonna come after me.
145
00:08:31,613 --> 00:08:34,923
Hello again, Mr. Tobin.
Thanks very much for coming.
146
00:08:35,093 --> 00:08:38,290
Can we make this quick? Every
minute I am not conducting research. . .
147
00:08:38,453 --> 00:08:40,683
. . .is a crushing blow to science.
148
00:08:40,893 --> 00:08:43,691
I don't understand why you
had to bring a lawyer into this.
149
00:08:43,893 --> 00:08:47,249
I'm here as an impartial mediator,
not as either party's attorney.
150
00:08:47,613 --> 00:08:51,731
You are an attorney, so I was correct.
He did bring a lawyer into this Q.E.D.
151
00:08:51,893 --> 00:08:53,929
-Which law school, by the way?
-Pepperdine.
152
00:08:54,093 --> 00:08:56,607
In that case, I should explain.
"Q.E.D. " is a term--
153
00:08:56,813 --> 00:08:59,281
All right, let's just start the mediation.
154
00:08:59,453 --> 00:09:03,048
First, I would like you each to state
your claim to the material in question.
155
00:09:03,253 --> 00:09:06,325
Why don't I go first? And then Michael
can just steal what I say.
156
00:09:06,533 --> 00:09:09,889
Tough talk coming from the guy who
thought that impregnating a ceramic. . .
157
00:09:10,053 --> 00:09:13,602
. . .with aerosolized metal would increase
porousness without losing strength.
158
00:09:13,773 --> 00:09:16,241
Let's not get personal here.
159
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:20,368
You know what? He's right. The point
of mediation is to resolve the dispute. . .
160
00:09:20,533 --> 00:09:22,046
. . .in a calm and peaceful way.
161
00:09:22,253 --> 00:09:24,926
Which we might do
if we had a real lawyer here.
162
00:09:25,133 --> 00:09:26,805
I am a real lawyer, Mr. Tobin.
163
00:09:27,013 --> 00:09:30,130
Is Ally McBeal getting a little flustered?
164
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:33,052
-You know what? Forget the mediation.
-Fine.
165
00:09:33,293 --> 00:09:36,524
I suggest you get a lawyer,
because you're gonna need one.
166
00:09:36,733 --> 00:09:39,691
-God, that guy has gotta be a virgin.
-Careful.
167
00:09:39,893 --> 00:09:41,645
Sorry.
168
00:09:46,813 --> 00:09:49,168
-Hey.
-Glen, where have you been?
169
00:09:49,333 --> 00:09:52,530
I know, I'm sorry. Gina kept me
out late again last night.
170
00:09:52,733 --> 00:09:56,362
But listen, I am here now,
and I'm all yours.
171
00:09:56,973 --> 00:09:59,407
All right, you got
my schedule and my phone list?
172
00:10:00,133 --> 00:10:03,125
No, no. I left them over at Gina's.
173
00:10:03,373 --> 00:10:06,410
Glen, hero to zero.
174
00:10:07,413 --> 00:10:10,962
Hey, you left these papers.
I thought you might need them.
175
00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:14,284
Oh, good, my schedule. Great.
176
00:10:15,453 --> 00:10:18,729
No, no, Glen.
This doesn't make any sense.
177
00:10:18,893 --> 00:10:20,804
You got me bathing every day?
178
00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:24,568
What are you trying to do,
dissolve me?
179
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:27,528
You know, I'll revise it.
180
00:10:27,733 --> 00:10:29,451
Will you get me a glass of water?
181
00:10:29,773 --> 00:10:31,684
It's in the kitchen.
Won't you miss me?
182
00:10:31,893 --> 00:10:34,612
I will, but I'll be liking the view.
183
00:10:36,813 --> 00:10:39,805
-Joey, you want something to drink?
-Banana milkshake, please.
184
00:10:42,973 --> 00:10:45,328
I gotta say, I am not loving
your effect on Glen.
185
00:10:45,493 --> 00:10:47,484
I can't help it. I'm intoxicating.
186
00:10:47,693 --> 00:10:50,253
Many men couldn't do
their jobs after dating me.
187
00:10:50,453 --> 00:10:53,650
How sad for the people who
wanted to buy drugs from them.
188
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,002
I can't believe this.
He was the perfect assistant.
189
00:10:58,173 --> 00:11:01,961
A few dates with you and he's broken.
This isn't gonna work.
190
00:11:02,733 --> 00:11:05,850
Just because he's a little distracted,
I can't go out with him?
191
00:11:06,053 --> 00:11:10,012
He really helps me, okay? He does my
errands, helps me memorize the script.
192
00:11:10,173 --> 00:11:13,245
You know how much easier it is
to act when you know your lines?
193
00:11:13,413 --> 00:11:16,291
Look, I need Glen to be
totally focused on my needs.
194
00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:19,931
I had to make it with skim milk.
I hope you don't mind.
195
00:11:29,053 --> 00:11:32,762
Michael, listen. We need to have some
kind of proof that you and Seth. . .
196
00:11:32,933 --> 00:11:36,243
. . .came up with this idea together.
I need you to remember everything. . .
197
00:11:36,413 --> 00:11:38,244
. . .about that day.
Nothing is too small.
198
00:11:38,453 --> 00:11:39,852
Okay. All right.
199
00:11:40,013 --> 00:11:44,291
We were sitting at the kitchen table,
talking about thermal-setting polymers.
200
00:11:44,893 --> 00:11:48,010
Seth insisted on keeping all the
notes on his precious laptop.
201
00:11:48,213 --> 00:11:49,805
It's hard to remember the details.
202
00:11:49,973 --> 00:11:52,441
Joey kept throwing stuff
at us and calling us nerds.
203
00:11:52,613 --> 00:11:54,968
I threw some pretty hard stuff
at you guys.
204
00:11:55,893 --> 00:11:59,203
Wait, Joey was here?
We have an eyewitness.
205
00:11:59,413 --> 00:12:02,211
You're right. Joey, do you remember
anything Seth and I said?
206
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:05,843
I remember everything.
Actors are trained to observe.
207
00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:09,127
Great. Okay, take us
through everything you saw.
208
00:12:09,733 --> 00:12:12,930
Okay, I was sitting right here
watching a rerun of the A-Team.
209
00:12:13,333 --> 00:12:16,928
You guys were over there talking,
and then Michael said:
210
00:12:17,493 --> 00:12:20,451
"Blah, blah." Science stuff.
211
00:12:20,693 --> 00:12:23,412
Then Mr. T said,
"I ain't getting on no plane."
212
00:12:23,613 --> 00:12:27,322
And then Michael said, "Blah, blah,"
and then Seth said, "I pity the fool."
213
00:12:27,493 --> 00:12:30,883
And then-- Oh, wait.
That might have been Mr. T.
214
00:12:31,093 --> 00:12:33,891
All right, so the fact that
you were here is useless.
215
00:12:34,093 --> 00:12:36,926
Not exactly. Seth will remember
that Joey was here, right?
216
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:40,409
I think so. I beaned him
like right here with a battery.
217
00:12:41,253 --> 00:12:43,244
Seth doesn't know that
you don't remember.
218
00:12:43,413 --> 00:12:46,723
We'll bluff and say that you do.
All you have to do is stand there. . .
219
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,332
-. . .and look thoughtful.
-Okay.
220
00:12:48,493 --> 00:12:51,007
I need to think of something
to give me a serious face.
221
00:12:51,213 --> 00:12:52,692
What's seven times nine?
222
00:12:55,653 --> 00:12:57,405
-Perfect.
-Yeah.
223
00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:06,449
Joey Tribbiani's phone.
224
00:13:06,813 --> 00:13:08,690
And what may I say this is regarding?
225
00:13:11,893 --> 00:13:13,770
I can't remember.
226
00:13:15,573 --> 00:13:17,165
Hello.
227
00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:20,884
No, I don't know what time
I'm supposed to be there.
228
00:13:21,053 --> 00:13:24,489
I don't have my regular assistant
and the temp I got isn't working out.
229
00:13:27,693 --> 00:13:30,890
Let me call my assistant,
and I'll call you back. Okay.
230
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,047
I can't believe it.
Glen turned his cell phone off.
231
00:13:36,253 --> 00:13:38,244
I'll kill him for you.
232
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:42,247
He's over at Gina's.
I'll bet she had him turn it off.
233
00:13:42,413 --> 00:13:44,529
This is ridiculous. I'm going over there.
234
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:46,285
Bet they'll be surprised to see us.
235
00:13:46,453 --> 00:13:49,172
-I'm dropping you off at the bank.
-I hate it there.
236
00:13:53,213 --> 00:13:54,726
Glen?
237
00:13:55,133 --> 00:13:56,964
Publicity called
to set up an interview.
238
00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,771
-I need my schedule.
-I'll go get it.
239
00:13:58,933 --> 00:14:00,764
-No, you are on a date.
-Well, I need it.
240
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:03,931
-He is not your slave.
-Glen, tell her she's wrong.
241
00:14:04,973 --> 00:14:07,203
Joey, why didn't you call
me about this earlier?
242
00:14:07,373 --> 00:14:09,807
-I tried to but your cell phone's off.
-What?
243
00:14:09,973 --> 00:14:12,726
I didn't turn it off.
I don't see how that could have--
244
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:17,367
Gina, you can't take
an assistant's cell phone.
245
00:14:17,533 --> 00:14:20,605
That's like taking a scalpel
away from a surgeon.
246
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:23,771
Except surgeons don't have
to help my brother build forts.
247
00:14:26,693 --> 00:14:28,888
Okay, you know what?
248
00:14:29,173 --> 00:14:33,212
I think I'm in the middle of some family
stuff. I'm gonna go get the schedule.
249
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:35,603
Good.
250
00:14:38,053 --> 00:14:42,126
Thanks a lot, Joey. Now I'm gonna
have to watch Sister Act by myself.
251
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:46,405
You are unbelievable. I told you
how much Glen means to me.
252
00:14:46,613 --> 00:14:47,887
I like him too.
253
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:51,170
You don't like him. You wanna be
with him because I told you not to.
254
00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:53,608
-You'll be tired of him soon.
-Maybe I won't be.
255
00:14:53,813 --> 00:14:55,326
What does that mean?
256
00:14:55,493 --> 00:14:59,008
It means that I might
maybe kind of really like him.
257
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,207
Yeah?
258
00:15:01,493 --> 00:15:02,926
Glen is different.
259
00:15:03,093 --> 00:15:06,165
When we went to the video
store, he held the door open for me.
260
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:08,091
-For you?
-I know.
261
00:15:09,173 --> 00:15:12,290
And between you and me, I don't
think he was that into Sister Act. . .
262
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,809
... but he let me choose. And he didn't
even glance at the porn section. . .
263
00:15:15,973 --> 00:15:18,487
. . .which I happen to find
very respectful.
264
00:15:20,973 --> 00:15:23,248
I don't know. He's a good guy.
265
00:15:23,413 --> 00:15:27,452
I'm not used to that.
Feels kind of nice.
266
00:15:29,773 --> 00:15:33,209
Okay, you know what?
You can have him.
267
00:15:33,413 --> 00:15:35,131
-But you need him too.
-No.
268
00:15:35,293 --> 00:15:37,761
It's about time you
had a healthy relationship.
269
00:15:38,453 --> 00:15:40,045
Like you're one to talk.
270
00:15:40,253 --> 00:15:42,369
-I am.
-Yeah? How's your wife, by the way?
271
00:15:42,573 --> 00:15:45,531
Sadly, my wife has not been born yet.
272
00:15:49,773 --> 00:15:52,162
All we're asking Seth to do
is sign this affidavit. . .
273
00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:54,403
. . .that says they both
worked on the project.
274
00:15:54,733 --> 00:15:56,052
And why would we sign this?
275
00:15:56,213 --> 00:15:59,125
Because someone was present
when Michael and Seth together. . .
276
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:01,045
. . .invented the material in question.
277
00:16:01,253 --> 00:16:05,087
A secret eyewitness, Joey Tribbiani.
278
00:16:09,613 --> 00:16:12,286
Joey Tribbiani.
279
00:16:14,693 --> 00:16:16,490
I'm sorry, what did we say
my cue was?
280
00:16:17,733 --> 00:16:19,007
Just come out now.
281
00:16:23,613 --> 00:16:25,808
So I suggest you sign
the affidavit right now.
282
00:16:25,973 --> 00:16:28,771
Before we sign, we'd like to
hear what your witness has to say.
283
00:16:28,933 --> 00:16:31,288
-Why is that necessary?
-He might be bluffing.
284
00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:38,722
Bluffing? I don't think so.
285
00:16:38,933 --> 00:16:41,766
-Please.
-Okay. Joey?
286
00:16:41,973 --> 00:16:45,045
Why don't you prove to these
people beyond a shadow of a doubt. . .
287
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:48,603
. . .that we are not bluffing.
Michael, let's hold hands.
288
00:16:50,533 --> 00:16:53,684
Yes. I remember the day very well.
289
00:16:53,893 --> 00:16:56,487
Especially the science stuff.
290
00:16:56,933 --> 00:17:03,168
A lot of numbers were used.
Six, 1 2, 1 4, all the usual suspects.
291
00:17:04,013 --> 00:17:06,732
He doesn't remember anything.
I bet he went to Pepperdine.
292
00:17:06,933 --> 00:17:08,207
Whoa, hold on there, buddy.
293
00:17:08,413 --> 00:17:10,529
I may not be the smartest guy
you'll ever meet.
294
00:17:10,693 --> 00:17:12,763
But I didn't go to Pepperdine.
295
00:17:13,613 --> 00:17:15,410
I think we've heard enough.
296
00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:18,487
-Well, this is just great.
-Well. . . .
297
00:17:19,893 --> 00:17:22,327
Wait a second, you guys.
I just thought of something.
298
00:17:22,533 --> 00:17:25,093
What is it, the theme
song to the A-Team?
299
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,926
No, just listen. Well,
I'll tell you what I do remember.
300
00:17:28,333 --> 00:17:32,008
Michael and Seth were stuck on
something so they got up for a walk.
301
00:17:32,173 --> 00:17:35,165
I looked over at Seth's computer,
hoping to find a video game.
302
00:17:35,333 --> 00:17:40,453
Instead, I started opening files and
found something much more naughty.
303
00:17:42,093 --> 00:17:44,004
You touched my computer?
What did you find?
304
00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:48,286
Something erotic,
some might say deviant.
305
00:17:48,453 --> 00:17:51,411
Should I tell everyone, or write it down
so it can be entered. . .
306
00:17:51,573 --> 00:17:53,325
-. . .in the record.
-I'll sign. You win.
307
00:17:53,533 --> 00:17:55,489
Don't you wanna
hear what he has to say?
308
00:17:55,653 --> 00:17:58,963
No, I remember now. Michael and I
invented it together. It's fine.
309
00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:03,011
What did you find on his computer?
310
00:18:03,213 --> 00:18:06,922
Nothing. I was bluffing.
But I really wanna see it now.
311
00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:10,723
You were bluffing? That was brilliant.
How did you know that would work?
312
00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:14,130
Please, every guy has a
disgusting folder on his computer.
313
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:16,170
There's nothing disgusting
on my computer.
314
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:19,291
Really? Why don't you check
a file called "Joey's Tax Stuff"?
315
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:29,408
Look, it's been a little awkward
having to share you with Gina.
316
00:18:29,573 --> 00:18:33,805
But I think I've worked something out
that's in everyone's best interest.
317
00:18:34,173 --> 00:18:35,652
I'm letting you go.
318
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,764
That's in my best interest?
319
00:18:38,733 --> 00:18:39,927
I don't have a job?
320
00:18:40,133 --> 00:18:43,648
Hey, I just lost my assistant. Let's not
play the "who's got it worse" game.
321
00:18:44,613 --> 00:18:47,173
Wait, this is crazy. I can do both.
322
00:18:47,613 --> 00:18:50,571
We can work out guidelines,
if you two could be reasonable.
323
00:18:53,293 --> 00:18:55,124
-That's never gonna happen.
-No way.
324
00:18:57,093 --> 00:18:58,367
come on, I'm serious.
325
00:18:58,533 --> 00:19:01,570
All right, as long as we're
clear about what everyone expects. . .
326
00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:03,843
... this doesn't have to be a problem.
327
00:19:04,613 --> 00:19:06,604
We could talk about
a way to share him.
328
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,644
Obviously I'd get him during the week.
329
00:19:08,813 --> 00:19:10,565
If I can get him nights and weekends.
330
00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:14,891
-Well, what about the holidays?
-You get Thanksgiving, I get Christmas.
331
00:19:15,453 --> 00:19:17,603
-See, actually, I have a family--
-Glen, please.
332
00:19:19,373 --> 00:19:21,682
When you guys are over here,
no kissing.
333
00:19:21,893 --> 00:19:23,645
When we're out, no prank-calling him.
334
00:19:23,853 --> 00:19:25,684
I don't know
what you're talking about.
335
00:19:25,853 --> 00:19:28,651
But I will pass it along
to Se�or Fartez.
336
00:19:30,933 --> 00:19:32,764
It seems like we got some guidelines.
337
00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:34,332
Yeah, we can make this work.
338
00:19:34,493 --> 00:19:37,053
We should celebrate.
Hey, Glen, run to the store. . .
339
00:19:37,213 --> 00:19:38,885
. . .and get us some champagne.
340
00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:43,171
Actually, it's past 5:00,
so it's Gina time.
341
00:19:44,693 --> 00:19:48,129
Glen, why don't you run down to the
store and get us some champagne.
342
00:19:56,933 --> 00:19:58,924
Now make yours do it.
343
00:20:00,173 --> 00:20:02,812
Bobbie, first of all, his name is Glen.
344
00:20:02,973 --> 00:20:05,612
Second, I don't make
my assistant do tricks.
345
00:20:05,773 --> 00:20:07,252
It's not the kind of boss I am.
346
00:20:07,453 --> 00:20:10,013
He's not just an employee,
I think of him as a friend.
347
00:20:10,213 --> 00:20:11,532
Thanks, Joey.
348
00:20:11,973 --> 00:20:15,010
Even though the robot is a fun
dance and I do enjoy watching it.
349
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:17,482
Especially when done skillfully.
350
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,168
Come on, Jason, get in there.
351
00:20:33,973 --> 00:20:36,203
Now fight!29790
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