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New York City.
2
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Population: 100.
3
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A land full of CEOs,VIPs and STIs.
4
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And with that many people,
5
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there's bound to bea few great stories.
6
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Like this one.
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Our story beginslike all great stories,
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with two straight men.
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Oh, fuck, I am good.
10
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Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
11
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This is Craig Tiddle.
12
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And this is Trevor Brock.
13
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They're twins.Identical twins.
14
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Fuck you! They are.
15
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And how do I know all of this?
16
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Because I'm God.
17
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That's right. God.
18
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He/him. The greatest
storyteller of all time.
19
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Check the sales of my book.
20
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Number-one bestseller
in the world.
21
00:01:53,260 --> 00:01:56,496
They're highly successfulalpha males.
22
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Virile. Strong.
23
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And oh-so-very manly.
24
00:02:12,847 --> 00:02:14,616
Fuck yeah.
25
00:02:14,716 --> 00:02:18,920
Wow, those twinsreally have it all.
26
00:02:21,956 --> 00:02:23,658
Oh! Good morning!
27
00:02:24,826 --> 00:02:27,127
Or do they?
28
00:02:27,227 --> 00:02:29,764
Craig and Trevordon't know they're twins.
29
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They were separated at birthand have never met.
30
00:02:33,534 --> 00:02:37,038
But that all changes today.
31
00:02:46,714 --> 00:02:48,415
Oh, Craig, I think
you dropped your mug.
32
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Keep it, old lady.
I got a lot of mugs.
33
00:02:50,551 --> 00:02:51,819
I got a lot of everything.
34
00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,621
Wow, your life seems perfect.
35
00:02:53,721 --> 00:02:57,558
Trust me, my smelly friend,
it is.
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♪ I got a mansionin the Hamptons ♪
37
00:03:00,061 --> 00:03:02,195
♪ I got a bungalow upstate ♪
38
00:03:02,295 --> 00:03:04,699
♪ I got a penthousejust for fucking ♪
39
00:03:04,799 --> 00:03:06,668
♪ And anotherwhere I masturbate ♪
40
00:03:06,768 --> 00:03:07,702
♪ Pow ♪
41
00:03:07,802 --> 00:03:09,871
♪ The money just keepsrolling in ♪
42
00:03:09,971 --> 00:03:12,239
♪ The good times never stop ♪
43
00:03:12,339 --> 00:03:14,274
♪ There's never beena man like me ♪
44
00:03:14,374 --> 00:03:16,944
♪ And I'll always be on top ♪
45
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:19,947
Package for Trevor Brock.
46
00:03:20,048 --> 00:03:21,149
Fuck this tiny thing.
47
00:03:21,248 --> 00:03:23,885
I already got the biggest
package in town.
48
00:03:23,985 --> 00:03:26,054
♪ My cock is fucking massive ♪
49
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♪ It always leavesthe ladies sore ♪
50
00:03:28,523 --> 00:03:30,725
♪ Seven inches longCurves to the left ♪
51
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♪ Then it goesten inches more ♪
52
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-♪ Ooh! ♪-♪ I got girls and cash ♪
53
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♪ Cars and booze ♪
54
00:03:35,797 --> 00:03:38,032
♪ I'm the creamof the fucking crop ♪
55
00:03:38,132 --> 00:03:40,267
♪ There's never beena man like me ♪
56
00:03:40,367 --> 00:03:42,970
♪ And I'll always be on top ♪
57
00:03:45,073 --> 00:03:46,440
Thanks, doll.
58
00:03:46,874 --> 00:03:48,241
Mm-mm.
59
00:03:51,012 --> 00:03:52,379
Oop.
60
00:03:54,182 --> 00:03:55,550
You have a good day.
61
00:03:56,517 --> 00:03:57,484
Huh?
62
00:04:03,091 --> 00:04:04,424
Whoa.
63
00:04:16,571 --> 00:04:18,371
-You're welcome.
-You're welcome.
64
00:04:24,645 --> 00:04:26,848
♪ I'm the best ♪
65
00:04:26,948 --> 00:04:29,117
♪ So fucking blessed ♪
66
00:04:29,217 --> 00:04:32,019
♪ Sexy, smartIt's just not fair ♪
67
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,789
♪ I slay pussy everywhere ♪
68
00:04:34,889 --> 00:04:36,190
♪ I get what I want ♪
69
00:04:36,289 --> 00:04:38,358
♪ And what I got I flaunt ♪
70
00:04:38,458 --> 00:04:41,996
♪ And though some peoplefind it strange ♪
71
00:04:43,463 --> 00:04:46,968
♪ No one's gonnamake me change ♪
72
00:04:57,277 --> 00:04:59,446
Oh, my God.
73
00:04:59,547 --> 00:05:00,882
Sorry, you just...
74
00:05:00,982 --> 00:05:01,749
You really look like me.
75
00:05:01,849 --> 00:05:04,085
I think you mean
that you look like me.
76
00:05:04,185 --> 00:05:05,987
-Craig Tiddle.
-Trevor Brock.
77
00:05:06,087 --> 00:05:07,454
-Whoa.
-Whoa.
78
00:05:07,555 --> 00:05:08,556
I think I got some lube
on you.
79
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:11,058
Hey, no worries.
I'll save that for later.
80
00:05:11,159 --> 00:05:12,459
Say, where do you work?
81
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:15,462
GVPI. It's my first day at the
new corporate headquarters.
82
00:05:15,563 --> 00:05:17,031
Hot damn! Me, too.
83
00:05:17,131 --> 00:05:18,599
You must be from
the downtown office?
84
00:05:18,699 --> 00:05:20,701
That I am. Take it you're
from the uptown branch?
85
00:05:20,802 --> 00:05:23,336
-My reputation precedes me.
-Nope. Never heard of you.
86
00:05:23,436 --> 00:05:25,273
Actually, I'm the one who's
never heard of you, so...
87
00:05:25,372 --> 00:05:26,373
Well, you should've
heard of me,
88
00:05:26,473 --> 00:05:27,942
because I'm
the number-one salesman
89
00:05:28,042 --> 00:05:29,110
this company's got.
90
00:05:29,210 --> 00:05:30,278
Hate to break it to you,
buddy,
91
00:05:30,377 --> 00:05:32,345
but last time I checked,
I was number one.
92
00:05:32,445 --> 00:05:33,748
Craig Tiddle's always on top.
93
00:05:33,848 --> 00:05:36,383
You might be on top of
a sex offenders registry,
94
00:05:36,483 --> 00:05:38,653
but I've always been
the best salesman.
95
00:05:38,753 --> 00:05:40,988
Fuck you, pal.
I've had a record month.
96
00:05:41,088 --> 00:05:43,323
While you were in bed
milking your morning wood,
97
00:05:43,423 --> 00:05:45,660
I've been pounding
the pavement making sales.
98
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:46,961
If you think
I can't make sales
99
00:05:47,061 --> 00:05:48,196
and jerk off at the same time,
100
00:05:48,296 --> 00:05:49,797
you got another thing
coming because...
101
00:05:49,897 --> 00:05:52,266
♪ I always getthe things I want ♪
102
00:05:52,365 --> 00:05:54,334
♪ There's no way I can flop ♪
103
00:05:54,434 --> 00:05:56,971
♪ There's never beena man like me ♪
104
00:05:57,071 --> 00:05:59,273
♪ And I'll always beI'll always be ♪
105
00:05:59,372 --> 00:06:01,142
♪ I'll always be on top ♪
106
00:06:02,510 --> 00:06:04,145
♪ Global Vroomba Parts ♪
107
00:06:04,245 --> 00:06:05,680
♪ No, we don't sell Vroombas ♪
108
00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:07,380
♪ Just the partsLike the gears ♪
109
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,817
♪ And the wheelsand those teeny tiny brushes ♪
110
00:06:09,917 --> 00:06:11,418
Listen to me,
you piece of shit.
111
00:06:11,519 --> 00:06:12,687
The sooner you make me money,
112
00:06:12,787 --> 00:06:14,722
the sooner you can afford
health insurance.
113
00:06:14,822 --> 00:06:18,192
Health care is a luxury.
114
00:06:21,929 --> 00:06:24,665
This is... gorgeous.
115
00:06:24,765 --> 00:06:27,068
Beautiful. A beautiful space.
116
00:06:27,168 --> 00:06:28,536
Craig Tiddle,
Trevor Brock.
117
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My two top salesmen.
118
00:06:30,238 --> 00:06:32,273
Oh, um, actually,
I'm Trevor.
119
00:06:32,372 --> 00:06:33,507
Yeah, and I'm Craig.
120
00:06:33,608 --> 00:06:35,475
Oh, okay, well...
121
00:06:35,576 --> 00:06:37,645
You two motherfuckers look
like y'all could be twins.
122
00:06:37,745 --> 00:06:39,146
-Mm, I don't see it.
-I think we actually
123
00:06:39,247 --> 00:06:40,581
-look very dissimilar.
-Yeah.
124
00:06:40,681 --> 00:06:41,749
I guess it's just, uh, uh,
125
00:06:41,849 --> 00:06:43,551
some shit that I
really don't care about.
126
00:06:43,651 --> 00:06:45,987
I'm your new boss,
Gloria Masters.
127
00:06:46,087 --> 00:06:47,889
Wow, a-a lady boss.
128
00:06:47,989 --> 00:06:50,791
I guess it really is
the year that it is.
129
00:06:50,892 --> 00:06:52,526
-I'm crazy about that.
-Yes, the year of the pussy.
130
00:06:52,627 --> 00:06:54,562
Exactly. So, boss,
we were wondering,
131
00:06:54,662 --> 00:06:56,264
which one of us
is top salesman
132
00:06:56,364 --> 00:06:57,899
and which one is
a dumb little baby?
133
00:06:57,999 --> 00:06:59,100
Well, I'm glad you asked.
134
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,069
As you can see right here,
I have installed a leaderboard
135
00:07:02,169 --> 00:07:03,337
that tracks y'all's sales.
136
00:07:03,436 --> 00:07:05,072
Plug 'er in, fellas.
137
00:07:11,045 --> 00:07:12,647
-Yes! Yes!
-Oh, no.
138
00:07:12,747 --> 00:07:15,216
Trevor Brock, my prize pig.
139
00:07:15,316 --> 00:07:17,151
But the rest
of you motherfuckers?
140
00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:18,719
Get to work.
141
00:07:18,819 --> 00:07:20,988
Hey, tough titty, Tiddle.
142
00:07:21,088 --> 00:07:24,025
Hey, but chin up, maybe you
could be my assistant.
143
00:07:24,125 --> 00:07:26,928
All my assistants
suck my dick.
144
00:07:31,732 --> 00:07:33,100
What in God's green hell?
145
00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,803
Mark me down
for 2,000 wheels, 2,000 gears
146
00:07:35,903 --> 00:07:37,939
and 3,000 of those
teeny tiny brushes.
147
00:07:38,039 --> 00:07:39,206
That's a big sale.
148
00:07:39,307 --> 00:07:40,508
Let this be a lesson to you.
149
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Use people, like pawns
on a checkerboard.
150
00:07:46,247 --> 00:07:47,882
Son of a fucking bitch.
151
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That's right.
Back where I belong.
152
00:07:50,551 --> 00:07:53,120
For now.
I'll admit, you're good.
153
00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:54,422
It's gonna be fun
to crush you.
154
00:07:54,522 --> 00:07:55,656
Right back at you.
155
00:07:55,756 --> 00:07:57,291
-May the best man...
-Win.
156
00:07:57,391 --> 00:07:59,293
Win. I was gonna say that.
157
00:07:59,393 --> 00:08:01,829
♪ Craig Tiddle'sfucking awesome ♪
158
00:08:01,929 --> 00:08:04,432
♪ Trevor Brockis off the charts ♪
159
00:08:04,532 --> 00:08:06,667
♪ They talk a lotabout their dicks ♪
160
00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:08,970
♪ And they sellfucking Vroomba parts ♪
161
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:11,305
♪ You won't evertake me down ♪
162
00:08:11,405 --> 00:08:13,574
♪ I'll work until I drop ♪
163
00:08:13,674 --> 00:08:16,177
♪ There's never beena man like me ♪
164
00:08:16,277 --> 00:08:18,713
♪ And I'll always be on top ♪
165
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,049
♪ 15,000 gears ♪
166
00:08:22,149 --> 00:08:23,617
-♪ Money, money, money ♪-♪ Craig Tiddle ♪
167
00:08:23,718 --> 00:08:24,986
-♪ Money, money, money ♪-♪ Number one ♪
168
00:08:25,086 --> 00:08:26,787
♪ 20,000 wheels ♪
169
00:08:26,887 --> 00:08:28,322
-♪ Money, money, money ♪-♪ Trevor Brock ♪
170
00:08:28,422 --> 00:08:29,323
-♪ Money, money, money ♪-♪ Is getting it done ♪
171
00:08:29,423 --> 00:08:30,458
♪ 30,000 gears ♪
172
00:08:30,558 --> 00:08:31,659
♪ Craig TiddleYou're the best ♪
173
00:08:31,759 --> 00:08:32,727
♪ 40,000 wheels ♪
174
00:08:32,827 --> 00:08:34,562
♪ Trevor BrockSign my chest ♪
175
00:08:36,496 --> 00:08:38,199
I love fucking money!
176
00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:40,167
♪ Who's it gonna be?Who's it gonna be? ♪
177
00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:41,502
♪ Who's it gonna be?
178
00:08:41,602 --> 00:08:44,238
♪ Who's it gonna be?Who's it gonna be? ♪
179
00:08:48,542 --> 00:08:51,112
100,000 teeny tiny brushes!
180
00:08:52,113 --> 00:08:53,814
♪ Look around ♪
181
00:08:53,914 --> 00:08:56,050
♪ It's plain to see ♪
182
00:08:56,150 --> 00:09:00,554
♪ There's never beena man like me ♪
183
00:09:02,390 --> 00:09:06,894
♪ 'Cause I'm the fucking ♪
184
00:09:06,994 --> 00:09:12,266
♪ Top... ♪
185
00:09:18,973 --> 00:09:20,007
Whew.
186
00:09:20,107 --> 00:09:21,275
Still at it, shrimp?
187
00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:22,643
Work hard, stay hard.
188
00:09:22,743 --> 00:09:24,345
Never been tied
for first before.
189
00:09:24,445 --> 00:09:25,980
I'm used to being
the total top.
190
00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:27,948
Oh, yeah, I'm gunning
for your ass, little boy.
191
00:09:28,049 --> 00:09:30,017
That's why I'm here late.
192
00:09:30,117 --> 00:09:31,419
-Grinding.
-Same.
193
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,187
Definitely not because
I have nowhere to go
194
00:09:33,287 --> 00:09:34,922
and no one to see.
195
00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:36,824
Oh, I got a vast network
of meaningful relationships,
196
00:09:36,924 --> 00:09:38,426
for sure,
but no time for those now.
197
00:09:38,527 --> 00:09:41,062
I got to put in the hours so I
can stay ahead of you, Craig.
198
00:09:41,729 --> 00:09:42,930
-Trevor.
-Huh?
199
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:45,666
You just called me Craig.
You're Craig. I'm Trevor.
200
00:09:45,766 --> 00:09:48,469
God,
you're such an idiot, Trevor.
201
00:09:48,569 --> 00:09:49,703
No, I'm Craig.
202
00:09:49,804 --> 00:09:51,906
-You're Trevor, Trevor.
-Damn it, we look alike.
203
00:09:52,006 --> 00:09:53,774
We do not. You have
long hair like a girl.
204
00:09:53,874 --> 00:09:55,376
You have short hair
like a lesbian girl.
205
00:09:55,476 --> 00:09:57,244
This haircut is
classic Trevor.
206
00:09:57,344 --> 00:09:59,013
Fuck. Classic Cr...
Fuck you!
207
00:09:59,113 --> 00:10:00,047
No, fuck you.
208
00:10:00,147 --> 00:10:02,283
-You don't get me.
-You don't get me, either.
209
00:10:02,383 --> 00:10:03,518
No one does.
210
00:10:11,526 --> 00:10:15,796
♪ I'm in this struggleall alone ♪
211
00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:19,733
♪ I don't know what to do ♪
212
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:23,370
♪ I wish there wassomeone who knew ♪
213
00:10:23,471 --> 00:10:26,941
♪ What I am going through ♪
214
00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:30,344
♪ This feelingthat I'm feeling ♪
215
00:10:30,444 --> 00:10:34,081
♪ It feels so very bad ♪
216
00:10:34,181 --> 00:10:37,351
♪ It's almost likemy life's a lie ♪
217
00:10:37,451 --> 00:10:42,256
♪ And actually I'm sad ♪
218
00:10:42,356 --> 00:10:47,628
♪ No one understandswhat I've been through ♪
219
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:53,334
♪ No one knowswhat it's like to be ♪
220
00:10:53,434 --> 00:10:56,637
♪ A manwith my specific life ♪
221
00:10:56,737 --> 00:10:59,608
♪ Saying thesespecific words ♪
222
00:10:59,707 --> 00:11:03,644
♪ The only onewho understands ♪
223
00:11:03,744 --> 00:11:06,714
♪ Is me ♪
224
00:11:06,814 --> 00:11:08,916
Say, is this your family?
225
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,952
What? No. But I
definitely have a real family.
226
00:11:12,052 --> 00:11:13,954
And they're rich and smart
and kind and real.
227
00:11:14,054 --> 00:11:16,525
Oh, me, too. I got a birth
mommy and a birth daddy,
228
00:11:16,625 --> 00:11:19,093
same as everybody else.
229
00:11:19,193 --> 00:11:21,829
♪ Growing up with just a mom ♪
230
00:11:21,929 --> 00:11:25,032
♪ It left a gaping hole ♪
231
00:11:25,132 --> 00:11:28,135
♪ My single dadHe did his best ♪
232
00:11:28,235 --> 00:11:31,338
♪ But lifeShe took her toll ♪
233
00:11:31,438 --> 00:11:34,609
♪ With PopsI could have fished for fish ♪
234
00:11:34,708 --> 00:11:37,344
♪ My fastball we'd perfect ♪
235
00:11:37,444 --> 00:11:40,848
♪ With MomI could have learned to bake ♪
236
00:11:40,948 --> 00:11:45,886
♪ Or show women respect ♪
237
00:11:45,986 --> 00:11:52,026
♪ No one understandswhat I've been through ♪
238
00:11:52,126 --> 00:11:56,598
♪ No one knowswhat it's like to be ♪
239
00:11:56,697 --> 00:11:59,800
♪ A manwith my specific life ♪
240
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:02,970
♪ Saying thesespecific words ♪
241
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:07,074
♪ The only onewho understands ♪
242
00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:09,109
♪ Is me ♪
243
00:12:09,210 --> 00:12:12,947
♪ If you thinkI've had it easy ♪
244
00:12:13,047 --> 00:12:15,684
♪ Then you're wrong ♪
245
00:12:15,783 --> 00:12:19,019
♪ The road's beenfucking hard ♪
246
00:12:19,119 --> 00:12:22,022
♪ And fucking long ♪
247
00:12:22,122 --> 00:12:24,959
♪ Everything I ever got ♪
248
00:12:25,059 --> 00:12:28,095
♪ I got all on my own ♪
249
00:12:28,195 --> 00:12:31,065
♪ I rose up from the ashes ♪
250
00:12:31,165 --> 00:12:35,836
♪ Of my single-parent home ♪
251
00:12:35,936 --> 00:12:38,973
♪ 'Cause I've alwaysbeen a fighter ♪
252
00:12:39,073 --> 00:12:42,309
♪ Since the daythat I was born ♪
253
00:12:42,409 --> 00:12:48,315
♪ On January 3rd, 1986 ♪
254
00:12:48,415 --> 00:12:54,388
-♪ At 5:08 a.m. ♪-♪ At 5:07 a.m. ♪
255
00:12:54,488 --> 00:12:55,923
Wait, what the fuck, dude?
256
00:12:56,023 --> 00:12:59,628
Yeah, there are a lot of
similarities happening here.
257
00:12:59,728 --> 00:13:01,028
-What is that?
-This?
258
00:13:01,128 --> 00:13:02,731
Oh, the only thing I have
259
00:13:02,830 --> 00:13:04,398
from the dad
I never knew is...
260
00:13:04,498 --> 00:13:06,233
Half of a locket.
261
00:13:06,333 --> 00:13:08,302
This is the only thing
I have from my mom.
262
00:13:08,402 --> 00:13:10,904
I've never understood mine.
It just says "our bo."
263
00:13:11,005 --> 00:13:12,940
I think it must be
an ancient Indigenous saying.
264
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,576
Mine only says "toys."
265
00:13:14,676 --> 00:13:16,977
Huh. But what if...?
266
00:13:19,079 --> 00:13:21,148
"Our two boys."
267
00:13:21,248 --> 00:13:23,150
Oh, my God. Does this mean...
268
00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:24,719
Hold on, sorry,
you thought that said "toys"?
269
00:13:24,818 --> 00:13:26,987
Yeah, T-W-O-Y-S, toys.
270
00:13:27,087 --> 00:13:28,556
No, there's not a "W" in toys.
271
00:13:28,657 --> 00:13:29,658
Damn it all to fuck, Craig!
272
00:13:29,758 --> 00:13:31,125
Who cares about
letters right now?
273
00:13:31,225 --> 00:13:33,360
You only have a dad.
I only have a mom.
274
00:13:33,460 --> 00:13:35,796
We were born on the same day,
almost down to the minute.
275
00:13:35,896 --> 00:13:37,031
We must be brothers.
276
00:13:37,131 --> 00:13:38,499
Not just brothers, Trevor.
277
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,567
Twins.
278
00:13:39,668 --> 00:13:41,503
Wow, we're twins.
279
00:13:41,603 --> 00:13:43,003
We're fucking identical twins.
280
00:13:44,204 --> 00:13:49,276
♪ No one understandswhat I've been through ♪
281
00:13:50,344 --> 00:13:54,348
♪ No one knowswhat it's like to be ♪
282
00:13:54,448 --> 00:13:56,817
♪ A man who thoughthe was alone ♪
283
00:13:56,917 --> 00:13:58,753
♪ But then found outhe had a twin ♪
284
00:13:58,886 --> 00:14:01,523
♪ Who works atthe same fucking job ♪
285
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:07,227
♪ What a big coincidence ♪
286
00:14:07,328 --> 00:14:14,234
♪ The only onewho understands ♪
287
00:14:15,770 --> 00:14:21,141
♪ Is we ♪
288
00:14:23,578 --> 00:14:27,481
♪ Is we ♪
289
00:14:28,949 --> 00:14:34,321
♪ Is we ♪
290
00:14:39,561 --> 00:14:41,895
Gears. Wheels.
291
00:14:41,995 --> 00:14:43,631
Teeny tiny brush... Wow.
292
00:14:43,732 --> 00:14:48,168
L, M, N, O...
293
00:14:48,268 --> 00:14:49,370
P.
294
00:14:56,343 --> 00:14:57,945
-Hey.
-Hey.
295
00:14:59,614 --> 00:15:00,815
This is crazy, right?
296
00:15:00,914 --> 00:15:02,449
Totally crazy. I mean...
297
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:04,753
What are the odds of working
with your long-lost twin?
298
00:15:04,853 --> 00:15:06,954
I don't know, one in four,
three in four?
299
00:15:07,054 --> 00:15:08,623
-It's crazy.
-Crazy.
300
00:15:08,723 --> 00:15:09,724
But wait.
301
00:15:09,824 --> 00:15:11,892
I can't believe
Mom and Dad split us up.
302
00:15:11,992 --> 00:15:13,528
Like, is that abuse?
303
00:15:13,628 --> 00:15:14,863
Did they abuse us?
304
00:15:14,962 --> 00:15:16,897
We definitely
experienced abuse-ment.
305
00:15:16,997 --> 00:15:19,032
-Oh, my God.
-I mean, don't get me wrong.
306
00:15:19,133 --> 00:15:20,267
My life is awesome.
307
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:22,369
No, no, no, no,
m-m-mine is awesome, too.
308
00:15:22,469 --> 00:15:24,304
-I have an amazing job.
-Amazing job.
309
00:15:24,405 --> 00:15:25,673
I'm always dating
some big-tit lady.
310
00:15:25,774 --> 00:15:27,074
Stunning big-tit ladies.
311
00:15:27,174 --> 00:15:28,843
I always get
the things I want.
312
00:15:28,942 --> 00:15:30,144
Except for a real family.
313
00:15:30,244 --> 00:15:32,212
Single-parent homes
are not real families.
314
00:15:32,312 --> 00:15:33,548
That's true.
315
00:15:33,648 --> 00:15:35,249
Hmm.
316
00:15:36,016 --> 00:15:38,318
What do we do?
317
00:15:38,419 --> 00:15:40,988
You know, if Mom and Dad
got married again,
318
00:15:41,088 --> 00:15:43,357
then we'd have a real family.
319
00:15:43,457 --> 00:15:44,626
What if...
320
00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:48,362
What if we tricked them
into getting back together?
321
00:15:48,462 --> 00:15:50,297
Keep talking
until I understand.
322
00:15:50,397 --> 00:15:52,132
We trick Mom and Dad
into thinking
323
00:15:52,232 --> 00:15:53,535
they need to get
married again.
324
00:15:53,635 --> 00:15:54,903
Oh, my God, yes.
325
00:15:55,002 --> 00:15:56,805
I'll go talk to Dad now
and trick him
326
00:15:56,905 --> 00:15:58,673
into getting back together
with Mom.
327
00:15:58,773 --> 00:16:00,340
Well, uh, no offense,
328
00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:01,975
-but you'd probably
fuck it up.
-Oh.
329
00:16:02,075 --> 00:16:03,611
I should be the one
to trick Dad.
330
00:16:03,711 --> 00:16:04,846
But you've never met him.
331
00:16:04,945 --> 00:16:06,480
Baby, I'm the number-one
salesman.
332
00:16:06,581 --> 00:16:07,481
I could trick anybody.
333
00:16:07,582 --> 00:16:10,017
Okay, hold up,
I'm the number-one salesman.
334
00:16:10,117 --> 00:16:11,318
If anybody's gonna
trick a parent
335
00:16:11,418 --> 00:16:12,986
they've never met,
it's gonna be me.
336
00:16:13,086 --> 00:16:15,022
While you're tricking Dad,
I'll trick Mom.
337
00:16:15,122 --> 00:16:16,724
And I'll do it better.
338
00:16:16,825 --> 00:16:18,258
All right, then.
It's settled.
339
00:16:18,358 --> 00:16:20,528
We're switching places to
trick the parent we never knew
340
00:16:20,628 --> 00:16:21,696
into getting married again.
341
00:16:21,796 --> 00:16:23,030
-Fine. Fine.
-Fine.
342
00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:24,933
Which means
we're going to need...
343
00:16:25,032 --> 00:16:26,901
Disguises!
344
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,436
Wow, you look so good, King.
345
00:16:29,537 --> 00:16:30,605
You, too, King.
346
00:16:30,705 --> 00:16:32,607
I mean, obviously, I would've
preferred a lace front,
347
00:16:32,707 --> 00:16:35,275
but sometimes a shake and go
can get the job done.
348
00:16:35,375 --> 00:16:37,044
-Right.
-So, what's Mom like?
349
00:16:37,144 --> 00:16:38,245
At the very least,
I hope she fulfills
350
00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:40,113
every single expectation
I have of her.
351
00:16:40,214 --> 00:16:42,015
-That's reasonable.
-Just, like, an awesome,
352
00:16:42,115 --> 00:16:43,984
conventional, elegant mommy.
353
00:16:44,084 --> 00:16:46,053
God, if she's, like,
a kooky old eccentric lady,
354
00:16:46,153 --> 00:16:48,255
I don't know
what the fuck I'll do.
355
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:51,325
Yeah, um, let's, uh, let's
change the subject entirely.
356
00:16:51,425 --> 00:16:53,360
-Huh?
-Tell me about Dad.
357
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:54,294
Oh, our dad?
358
00:16:54,394 --> 00:16:55,864
-Yeah, our dad.
-Um...
359
00:16:55,964 --> 00:16:57,498
Is he a big, strong
macho guy like me?
360
00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:59,433
I hope he's a big macho guy
like me!
361
00:16:59,534 --> 00:17:01,268
Yeah, listen, I would
obviously love to talk
362
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:03,003
about that, but look,
oh, God, it's Mom's house.
363
00:17:03,103 --> 00:17:04,071
So I got to go right now.
364
00:17:04,171 --> 00:17:05,138
Oh, God!
365
00:17:05,239 --> 00:17:08,208
Okay, bye-bye.
366
00:17:08,308 --> 00:17:09,978
Drive, you piece of shit!
367
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,614
Okay, Craig,
you got this.
368
00:17:12,714 --> 00:17:14,816
Shit! Fuck! Damn! No!
369
00:17:14,916 --> 00:17:16,483
You're Trevor now,
all right?
370
00:17:16,584 --> 00:17:19,086
And Trevor is gonna knock
on the door.
371
00:17:30,732 --> 00:17:32,065
Hello?
372
00:17:33,668 --> 00:17:34,869
Mom?
373
00:17:34,969 --> 00:17:37,070
Why, Trevor,
374
00:17:37,170 --> 00:17:39,439
what a nice surprise.
375
00:17:40,608 --> 00:17:41,676
Mom!
376
00:17:41,776 --> 00:17:43,578
That's right, it's me.
377
00:17:43,678 --> 00:17:45,178
-Good old Mom.
-Right.
378
00:17:45,279 --> 00:17:47,782
And I'm... Trevor.
379
00:17:47,882 --> 00:17:50,284
-Yes, you are.
-So...
380
00:17:50,384 --> 00:17:52,452
Mom, you're
in a wheelchair now?
381
00:17:52,554 --> 00:17:56,423
Well, Trevor, I've been in
this wheelchair since January.
382
00:17:56,524 --> 00:17:59,561
Yes, and I haven't been here
since then, so...
383
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:01,996
January of 1979.
384
00:18:02,095 --> 00:18:03,631
Cool, so I do know this.
385
00:18:03,731 --> 00:18:07,100
Darling, what's the matter?
You're not acting yourself.
386
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,836
And what's with that hair?
387
00:18:08,937 --> 00:18:12,907
I don't remember it being
this fake and shitty looking.
388
00:18:13,007 --> 00:18:14,542
It's a wig. Dah!
389
00:18:14,642 --> 00:18:18,546
I mean, um,
I'm growing it out for a wig.
390
00:18:18,646 --> 00:18:20,113
Yeah, Locks for Love.
391
00:18:20,213 --> 00:18:21,883
-Oh.
-I'm gonna give some bald,
392
00:18:21,983 --> 00:18:23,317
barren women a second chance.
393
00:18:23,417 --> 00:18:26,286
Well, I was just about
to have some tea.
394
00:18:26,386 --> 00:18:28,355
Won't you join me?
395
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:30,525
Mom, it's really good
to see you.
396
00:18:30,959 --> 00:18:32,125
Really actually good.
397
00:18:32,225 --> 00:18:35,029
Well, it is really good
to see you, too, dear,
398
00:18:35,128 --> 00:18:38,032
always, my darling boy.
399
00:18:38,131 --> 00:18:40,467
My only darling boy.
400
00:18:41,101 --> 00:18:42,870
The only boy I ever had.
401
00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:44,171
-Sure, yeah.
-Yes.
402
00:18:44,271 --> 00:18:46,106
The only boy that ever came
403
00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:48,475
rocketing out of my vagina.
404
00:18:48,576 --> 00:18:49,376
Okay.
405
00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:51,278
I would've probably
had another one
406
00:18:51,378 --> 00:18:52,981
just like you, but I didn't.
407
00:18:53,081 --> 00:18:55,049
-The more you...
-I had a vasectomy.
408
00:18:55,148 --> 00:18:57,484
One second
after you was born,
409
00:18:57,585 --> 00:18:59,020
-Wow.
-I had a vasectomy.
410
00:18:59,152 --> 00:19:01,254
They snipped it.
411
00:19:02,657 --> 00:19:04,559
So, Mom...
412
00:19:04,659 --> 00:19:06,226
It's been a minute,
what have you been up to?
413
00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:09,063
Oh, my gosh, Trevor!
414
00:19:09,162 --> 00:19:11,331
Well, you know me.
415
00:19:11,431 --> 00:19:12,332
I do.
416
00:19:12,432 --> 00:19:13,901
And all the things
I get up to.
417
00:19:14,002 --> 00:19:16,571
Any specifics about it,
though, would be appreciated.
418
00:19:16,671 --> 00:19:18,640
Tell me it
as if I didn't know,
419
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:20,875
-even though of course I do.
-Ah, this morning,
420
00:19:20,975 --> 00:19:24,779
Patricia and I watched a film
from the Criterion Collection.
421
00:19:24,879 --> 00:19:27,515
-You know Patricia, of course.
-If you say so.
422
00:19:27,615 --> 00:19:30,384
Mom, you seem so cultured.
423
00:19:30,484 --> 00:19:33,220
Well, I'm glad you're
finally recognizing that.
424
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:37,025
Yeah, me, too, it's time
that someone fina...
425
00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:39,661
Uh, that's sand.
426
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:41,562
Oh, my God.
427
00:19:41,663 --> 00:19:44,932
I switched the tea
and the sand again.
428
00:19:45,033 --> 00:19:46,166
Again?
429
00:19:46,266 --> 00:19:48,936
I'm going fast.
430
00:19:49,037 --> 00:19:51,105
I make my own sand, you know.
431
00:19:51,204 --> 00:19:52,740
-Do you?
-Yes, I do.
432
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:53,908
Out of what?
433
00:19:54,008 --> 00:19:55,342
Out of sand.
434
00:19:55,442 --> 00:19:57,078
Here you go, darling.
435
00:19:57,177 --> 00:19:58,311
-Thank you.
-Oh, my gosh,
436
00:19:58,412 --> 00:20:00,081
wait a minute, not so fast.
437
00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:01,516
That'll be your reward.
438
00:20:01,616 --> 00:20:03,151
Before you go,
I need you to grab
439
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,153
something down for me, please?
440
00:20:05,252 --> 00:20:07,021
-Yeah, fucking sure. Um...
-Yes, yes.
441
00:20:07,121 --> 00:20:08,488
It's that one right there.
442
00:20:08,589 --> 00:20:10,424
-This one?
-Nope, that one.
443
00:20:10,525 --> 00:20:12,894
-So this one?
-No, that one.
444
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:15,362
-Okay, then this one?
-No, darling, that one.
445
00:20:15,462 --> 00:20:16,531
-Here?
-Darling?
446
00:20:16,631 --> 00:20:18,132
Let's calm down, look at me.
447
00:20:18,231 --> 00:20:20,001
-Do you see my finger?
-I do.
448
00:20:20,101 --> 00:20:21,636
-This is called pointing.
-Yeah.
449
00:20:21,736 --> 00:20:23,805
If you draw
a little dotted line
450
00:20:23,905 --> 00:20:26,206
from the tip of my finger
and you go poop, boop, boop.
451
00:20:26,306 --> 00:20:28,208
Yeah, boop, boop, boop,
boop, boop right to here.
452
00:20:28,308 --> 00:20:29,510
-This is the one?
-No!
453
00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:30,878
-Here?
-Let me, okay, let me...
454
00:20:30,978 --> 00:20:31,979
I need to calm down.
455
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:33,014
Could you describe it?
456
00:20:33,114 --> 00:20:34,716
Darling, I'm not
going to spoil you.
457
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:37,618
How about a single adjective
of-of any of these?
458
00:20:37,719 --> 00:20:40,253
Not over there.
Look, this is like this.
459
00:20:40,353 --> 00:20:41,889
-Here again.
-Not that one.
460
00:20:41,989 --> 00:20:43,124
-Is it this one?
-Yeah!
461
00:20:43,223 --> 00:20:44,826
Oh, motherfucker. Goddamn it.
462
00:20:44,926 --> 00:20:47,327
I could think of words
you could've used.
463
00:20:47,427 --> 00:20:49,931
Ooh, well,
that was quite an ordeal.
464
00:20:50,031 --> 00:20:51,766
-Yeah, I'll say.
-Oh, my God.
465
00:20:51,866 --> 00:20:53,333
No, no, no, no, please.
466
00:20:53,433 --> 00:20:55,302
That's Jerome.
He's easily aroused.
467
00:20:55,402 --> 00:20:57,105
Don't get him
anywhere near me.
468
00:20:57,205 --> 00:20:58,238
You have sex with this?
469
00:20:58,338 --> 00:20:59,741
Darling, of course.
470
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:02,076
Look at him,
how could I possibly resist?
471
00:21:02,176 --> 00:21:04,178
-He? It's a he?
-He's a they.
472
00:21:04,277 --> 00:21:06,514
Oh, God, well, I--
Now that I know that you
473
00:21:06,614 --> 00:21:09,584
fuck this little gay boot,
I'd love to put it somewhere.
474
00:21:09,684 --> 00:21:11,251
I think you should put him
right down there
475
00:21:11,351 --> 00:21:13,221
next to Patricia,
she can handle it.
476
00:21:13,353 --> 00:21:15,355
This is Patricia,
who you saw the movie with?
477
00:21:15,455 --> 00:21:17,992
Darling, of course.
You know Patricia.
478
00:21:18,092 --> 00:21:20,194
And I would ask you
to unhand her!
479
00:21:20,293 --> 00:21:21,662
Okay, Mommy, you know what?
480
00:21:21,763 --> 00:21:23,531
I think maybe you need to get
out of the house a little bit.
481
00:21:23,631 --> 00:21:26,500
Darling,
why would I leave the house?
482
00:21:26,601 --> 00:21:29,003
I have everything
I need right here.
483
00:21:29,103 --> 00:21:30,171
Yeah, sure.
484
00:21:30,270 --> 00:21:33,174
I lead a charmed life, Trevor.
485
00:21:33,273 --> 00:21:35,076
Don't you understand?
486
00:21:39,446 --> 00:21:43,584
♪ My life's been quitethe wild ride ♪
487
00:21:43,684 --> 00:21:45,953
♪ Intrigue, thrills ♪
488
00:21:46,053 --> 00:21:48,723
♪ Romance ♪
489
00:21:48,823 --> 00:21:52,660
♪ I may have reachedmy twilight years ♪
490
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:57,632
♪ But it's all stillsong and dance ♪
491
00:21:58,266 --> 00:21:59,934
♪ Seasons come ♪
492
00:22:00,034 --> 00:22:02,603
♪ And seasons go ♪
493
00:22:02,703 --> 00:22:08,075
♪ My years keep flying by ♪
494
00:22:08,176 --> 00:22:12,379
♪ And now I sit herein my houseuntil the day I die ♪
495
00:22:12,479 --> 00:22:14,949
Trevor,
I'm an independent woman.
496
00:22:15,049 --> 00:22:19,086
I do what I want when I want
with whom I want.
497
00:22:19,187 --> 00:22:21,488
-I am very confused.
-I'm afraid
498
00:22:21,589 --> 00:22:23,524
you simply don't understand
499
00:22:23,624 --> 00:22:27,360
what a gas it is
when you get to be my age.
500
00:22:27,460 --> 00:22:28,830
♪ I'm 93 ♪
501
00:22:28,930 --> 00:22:30,298
♪ No, 94 ♪
502
00:22:30,397 --> 00:22:31,966
That can't be right.
503
00:22:32,066 --> 00:22:33,366
♪ Just wait, there's more ♪
504
00:22:33,466 --> 00:22:36,304
♪ My back is brokeMy tits, they sag ♪
505
00:22:36,403 --> 00:22:39,339
♪ I have to pee into a bag ♪
506
00:22:39,439 --> 00:22:42,543
♪ I have three toesMy eyes are coins ♪
507
00:22:42,643 --> 00:22:45,613
♪ A mouse named Piplives in my loins ♪
508
00:22:45,713 --> 00:22:48,448
♪ I smell like milkWell, more like cheese ♪
509
00:22:48,549 --> 00:22:51,986
♪ My nipples winkI never sneeze ♪
510
00:22:52,086 --> 00:22:54,522
♪ I cannot rememberthe year I was born ♪
511
00:22:54,622 --> 00:22:57,625
♪ I sculpt all my friendsout of clay ♪
512
00:22:57,725 --> 00:23:00,862
♪ I've seen every movieAnd most of them thrice ♪
513
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:04,165
♪ For breakfastI only eat hay ♪
514
00:23:04,265 --> 00:23:06,167
Well, this has been fun,
but I got to be
515
00:23:06,267 --> 00:23:07,902
anywhere but here.
516
00:23:08,002 --> 00:23:10,972
♪ I keep all my ice cubesinside of my purse ♪
517
00:23:11,072 --> 00:23:13,875
♪ I have a whole roomfull of geese ♪
518
00:23:13,975 --> 00:23:16,611
♪ I only read backwardsI never use spoons ♪
519
00:23:16,711 --> 00:23:19,080
♪ My mother is also my niece ♪
520
00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:21,682
♪ My organs are cottonI cry melted butter ♪
521
00:23:21,782 --> 00:23:24,151
♪ I have no reflectionI bathe in asbestos ♪
522
00:23:24,252 --> 00:23:26,453
♪ The world is a riddleI might be the devil ♪
523
00:23:26,554 --> 00:23:29,090
♪ My pussy fell offonce in Greece, hey! ♪
524
00:23:30,490 --> 00:23:32,492
Who saw that coming?
525
00:23:32,593 --> 00:23:34,795
I did.
526
00:23:36,130 --> 00:23:37,098
Craig.
527
00:23:37,598 --> 00:23:39,533
My favorite son.
528
00:23:40,101 --> 00:23:41,569
My only son.
529
00:23:41,669 --> 00:23:43,436
-What a surprise.
-Yeah.
530
00:23:43,537 --> 00:23:45,106
I thought I'd swing by.
531
00:23:45,206 --> 00:23:46,874
Oh.
532
00:23:46,974 --> 00:23:48,576
A hug.
533
00:23:48,676 --> 00:23:51,913
Well, this is new.
534
00:23:52,013 --> 00:23:53,147
Uh...
535
00:23:54,382 --> 00:23:55,716
Don't forget to let go.
536
00:23:55,816 --> 00:23:57,752
Otherwise,
we're just wrasslin'.
537
00:24:00,121 --> 00:24:01,689
Wow.
538
00:24:02,390 --> 00:24:04,258
Swanky digs, Dad.
539
00:24:04,358 --> 00:24:06,594
-Oh, hush.
-No, I mean it.
540
00:24:06,694 --> 00:24:09,730
This place is so nice
and clean and chic and...
541
00:24:09,830 --> 00:24:12,099
God, I wish I'd grown up here.
542
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,536
What are talking about, Craig?
You did grow up here.
543
00:24:15,636 --> 00:24:17,805
And I wish
I could grow up here again.
544
00:24:17,905 --> 00:24:20,174
-Shame how time works.
-Yeah.
545
00:24:20,274 --> 00:24:22,310
It really sucks.
Care for a mimosa?
546
00:24:22,410 --> 00:24:23,978
Oh.
547
00:24:24,078 --> 00:24:26,814
Don't judge,
but I've already had one...
548
00:24:26,914 --> 00:24:27,748
pitcher.
549
00:24:27,848 --> 00:24:29,884
Come on.
550
00:24:29,984 --> 00:24:31,352
Just kidding.
551
00:24:31,451 --> 00:24:33,154
But I do drink every morning.
552
00:24:33,254 --> 00:24:34,655
-Sure.
-Cheers.
553
00:24:36,757 --> 00:24:37,692
Mmm.
554
00:24:37,792 --> 00:24:40,328
Craig, I'm glad
you're here actually.
555
00:24:40,428 --> 00:24:42,797
Same, Dad.
What do you want to do first?
556
00:24:42,897 --> 00:24:46,067
Play catch in the yard?
Not talk about our feelings?
557
00:24:47,401 --> 00:24:49,570
Funny you should mention
feelings.
558
00:24:52,039 --> 00:24:54,175
Uh...
559
00:24:58,913 --> 00:24:59,914
Wow.
560
00:25:00,014 --> 00:25:01,782
Okay.
561
00:25:01,882 --> 00:25:04,051
I've been meaning
to tell you for some time.
562
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:08,022
There's no easy way
to say this, but...
563
00:25:08,622 --> 00:25:10,958
-But...
-But what?
564
00:25:13,461 --> 00:25:14,595
I'm gay.
565
00:25:17,098 --> 00:25:19,567
Wait, wait, uh,
this is something that I,
566
00:25:19,667 --> 00:25:21,869
Craig, didn't know about
until just now?
567
00:25:21,969 --> 00:25:22,903
That's correct.
568
00:25:23,004 --> 00:25:24,972
Um, okay, great,
then I can freely say,
569
00:25:25,072 --> 00:25:28,509
what the fuck, Dad,
you're gay?
570
00:25:28,609 --> 00:25:30,544
Well, I was hoping
for a little more enthusiasm,
571
00:25:30,644 --> 00:25:32,913
but yes, Craig, I'm gay.
572
00:25:33,014 --> 00:25:35,649
Queer as a three-dollar bill
and just as thin.
573
00:25:35,750 --> 00:25:37,651
-Well, let's not go c--
-Shh. Daddy's talking.
574
00:25:37,752 --> 00:25:39,620
-Mm-hmm.
-Honestly,
575
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,356
the signs have been there
for ages.
576
00:25:42,456 --> 00:25:44,058
I'm only now realizing it.
577
00:25:44,158 --> 00:25:47,361
I am and have always been
a normal homosexual man
578
00:25:47,461 --> 00:25:50,998
who does all the normal things
normal homosexual men do.
579
00:25:51,098 --> 00:25:54,035
-Like what?
-Well, I'll tell you.
580
00:25:55,069 --> 00:25:57,338
♪ I wake up, drink my coffee ♪
581
00:25:57,438 --> 00:25:59,607
♪ Have brunch around 11:00 ♪
582
00:25:59,707 --> 00:26:01,675
♪ Walk my bichon frise ♪
583
00:26:01,776 --> 00:26:04,078
♪ Then nap tillhalf past 7:00 ♪
584
00:26:04,178 --> 00:26:06,515
♪ A night outat the symphony ♪
585
00:26:06,614 --> 00:26:08,682
♪ Such elegance, what poise ♪
586
00:26:08,783 --> 00:26:10,918
♪ Or maybeI'll just stay at home ♪
587
00:26:11,018 --> 00:26:12,820
♪ With my two Sewer Boys ♪
588
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:13,854
What?
589
00:26:13,954 --> 00:26:17,091
♪ The answeris perfectly clear ♪
590
00:26:17,191 --> 00:26:22,531
♪ It's a gay old lifebeing queer ♪
591
00:26:22,630 --> 00:26:25,032
I'm so sorry,
did you say "Sewer Boys"?
592
00:26:25,132 --> 00:26:28,936
Oh, come on, Craig.
You know my Sewer Boys.
593
00:26:34,108 --> 00:26:35,544
No!
594
00:26:35,643 --> 00:26:39,180
No! No!
595
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:43,851
No! No! No!
596
00:26:43,951 --> 00:26:46,087
Christ on a crutch,
Craig.
597
00:26:46,187 --> 00:26:47,188
Are you all right?
598
00:26:47,288 --> 00:26:50,357
You sounded like Maria Callas
on a rough matinee.
599
00:26:50,458 --> 00:26:52,193
What the fuck are
those things?
600
00:26:52,293 --> 00:26:54,495
My Sewer Boys.
601
00:26:54,595 --> 00:26:57,098
Pale little inbred creatures,
602
00:26:57,198 --> 00:26:57,965
live underground.
603
00:26:58,065 --> 00:27:00,501
Only communicate
in clicks and whistles.
604
00:27:02,903 --> 00:27:05,306
I-I'm very confused.
605
00:27:05,406 --> 00:27:06,774
You do seem a bit off, dear.
606
00:27:06,874 --> 00:27:08,275
And what's with your hair?
607
00:27:08,375 --> 00:27:10,878
I don't remember it being
this fake or shitty looking.
608
00:27:10,978 --> 00:27:12,947
Oh, God, who cares
about wigs right now?
609
00:27:13,047 --> 00:27:14,583
Those things are disgusting.
610
00:27:14,682 --> 00:27:16,951
They're not disgusting,
they're gay culture.
611
00:27:17,051 --> 00:27:19,386
Gay culture?
Well, they don't seem gay.
612
00:27:19,487 --> 00:27:21,021
They seem dangerous.
613
00:27:21,122 --> 00:27:24,258
Well, I appreciate
your concern, but...
614
00:27:24,358 --> 00:27:29,096
♪ There's nothing dangerousabout vacationing in Spain ♪
615
00:27:29,196 --> 00:27:30,798
♪ That isuntil you've thrown ♪
616
00:27:30,898 --> 00:27:33,568
♪ Half of your savingsdown the drain ♪
617
00:27:33,667 --> 00:27:36,003
♪ But money should be spenton things ♪
618
00:27:36,103 --> 00:27:38,239
♪ Both lovely and refined ♪
619
00:27:38,339 --> 00:27:40,741
♪ The Sewer Boysdrink blood for fun ♪
620
00:27:40,841 --> 00:27:42,476
♪ And also read my mind ♪
621
00:27:42,577 --> 00:27:46,714
♪ Don't get in a tizzyMy dear ♪
622
00:27:46,814 --> 00:27:49,483
♪ It's a gay old life ♪
623
00:27:49,584 --> 00:27:52,887
♪ Being queer ♪
624
00:27:52,987 --> 00:27:55,524
What do you mean,
they read your mind?
625
00:27:55,624 --> 00:27:57,691
Uh-oh, someone's hungry.
626
00:27:59,493 --> 00:28:00,995
Oh, God.
627
00:28:02,363 --> 00:28:03,264
Ah.
628
00:28:03,364 --> 00:28:05,432
They'll do anything
for a little deli meat.
629
00:28:05,534 --> 00:28:08,702
No, I hate this.
630
00:28:09,370 --> 00:28:10,871
What are you doing?
631
00:28:17,011 --> 00:28:19,246
-Oh.
-All right,
it's your turn.
632
00:28:22,316 --> 00:28:24,818
Oh, there's got to be
a different way to feed them.
633
00:28:25,352 --> 00:28:26,687
No!
634
00:28:29,290 --> 00:28:30,791
All right, all right.
635
00:28:34,161 --> 00:28:37,198
Hey, let's brainstorm
some ideas together, Papa.
636
00:28:37,298 --> 00:28:38,165
Maybe a bowl.
637
00:28:38,265 --> 00:28:40,801
Have you thought about
a fucking bowl?
638
00:28:40,901 --> 00:28:42,803
Nope, this is how
we've always done it.
639
00:28:42,903 --> 00:28:44,772
Dinnertime with my Sewer Boys,
640
00:28:44,872 --> 00:28:46,340
Backpack and Whisper.
641
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:47,576
Those are their names?
642
00:28:47,676 --> 00:28:48,610
Watch your talons.
643
00:28:48,709 --> 00:28:50,645
Talons.
644
00:28:50,744 --> 00:28:53,515
-Want some ham?
-No, I don't want any ham!
645
00:28:53,615 --> 00:28:55,517
I feel like I'm in
a fucking nightmare!
646
00:28:55,617 --> 00:28:57,985
Oh, I understand, son.
647
00:28:59,053 --> 00:29:02,723
Coming out can be
just as hard on the family.
648
00:29:02,823 --> 00:29:05,694
But it's a journey
we'll go on together.
649
00:29:05,793 --> 00:29:07,962
I'm not talking about
coming out.
650
00:29:08,062 --> 00:29:10,331
I'm talking about
the fucking monsters.
651
00:29:11,432 --> 00:29:15,436
Oh, shh! Don't say that
in front of them.
652
00:29:15,537 --> 00:29:16,705
You'll hurt their feelings.
653
00:29:16,804 --> 00:29:19,006
Their feelings? They feel?
654
00:29:19,106 --> 00:29:22,142
What are they?
Explain them to me!
655
00:29:23,377 --> 00:29:25,179
Well, it's a long story.
656
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:27,381
Very well.
657
00:29:27,481 --> 00:29:28,816
Oh, yeah. Get a hat.
658
00:29:28,916 --> 00:29:30,552
♪ Many decades ago ♪
659
00:29:30,652 --> 00:29:32,086
♪ I was down in the sewer ♪
660
00:29:32,186 --> 00:29:34,355
-Why?
-Shh, Daddy's singing.
661
00:29:34,455 --> 00:29:37,258
♪ Rowing my boat throughthe slime and manure ♪
662
00:29:37,358 --> 00:29:39,126
How did you get a boat
into the sewer?
663
00:29:39,226 --> 00:29:41,061
You want to hear the story
or not?
664
00:29:41,161 --> 00:29:44,331
♪ Collecting adventuresand treasures galore ♪
665
00:29:44,431 --> 00:29:49,136
♪ But I couldn't guesswhat fate had in store ♪
666
00:29:49,236 --> 00:29:51,573
♪ I rounded a bendand what did I see? ♪
667
00:29:51,673 --> 00:29:55,042
♪ Two creatures so bloodySo foul, so carefree ♪
668
00:29:55,142 --> 00:29:58,546
♪ They were taking a bathin the corpse of a swine ♪
669
00:29:58,647 --> 00:30:00,749
♪ And that's when I knew ♪
670
00:30:00,848 --> 00:30:04,485
♪ They had to be mine ♪
671
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,022
♪ I tried to entice them ♪
672
00:30:08,122 --> 00:30:10,592
♪ But they were too quick ♪
673
00:30:10,692 --> 00:30:12,761
♪ Tried to rip outmy trachea ♪
674
00:30:12,860 --> 00:30:15,195
♪ Bite off my dick ♪
675
00:30:15,296 --> 00:30:17,331
♪ With a clubI subdued them ♪
676
00:30:17,431 --> 00:30:20,769
♪ And made to depart ♪
677
00:30:20,868 --> 00:30:23,705
♪ And I stolethe two creatures ♪
678
00:30:23,804 --> 00:30:28,075
♪ Who'd stolen my heart ♪
679
00:30:28,442 --> 00:30:29,410
Jesus.
680
00:30:31,378 --> 00:30:35,482
♪ My boyThere's no reason to jeer ♪
681
00:30:35,583 --> 00:30:39,554
♪ It's a gay old life ♪
682
00:30:39,654 --> 00:30:41,723
♪ Being ♪
683
00:30:41,822 --> 00:30:46,126
♪ Queer... ♪
684
00:30:46,226 --> 00:30:47,595
♪ I bathe in bleach ♪
685
00:30:47,696 --> 00:30:49,163
♪ There's skiing up in Aspen ♪
686
00:30:49,263 --> 00:30:50,964
-♪ I play the horn ♪-♪ And sailing of West Palm ♪
687
00:30:51,065 --> 00:30:52,132
♪ One time I died ♪
688
00:30:52,232 --> 00:30:53,668
♪ The snow is fine as powder ♪
689
00:30:53,768 --> 00:30:55,436
-♪ I suck on corn ♪-♪ The waves are always calm ♪
690
00:30:55,537 --> 00:30:57,438
-♪ I poison fruit ♪-♪ But no matter where I am ♪
691
00:30:57,539 --> 00:30:58,839
-♪ I kissed a chair ♪-♪ There is no way ♪
692
00:30:58,939 --> 00:31:00,374
♪ I can resistthe urge to climb ♪
693
00:31:00,474 --> 00:31:01,942
-♪ I juggle for exercise ♪-♪ Below the streets ♪
694
00:31:02,042 --> 00:31:03,477
-♪ Never use alphabet ♪-♪ And smell ♪
695
00:31:03,578 --> 00:31:04,912
-♪ And a tornado's my friend ♪-♪ That stinky mist ♪
696
00:31:05,012 --> 00:31:06,648
♪ The answer is ♪
697
00:31:06,748 --> 00:31:08,982
♪ Perfectly clear ♪
698
00:31:09,083 --> 00:31:13,187
♪ It's a gay old life ♪
699
00:31:13,287 --> 00:31:15,724
♪ Being queer ♪
700
00:31:15,824 --> 00:31:21,362
♪ I have no pussy ♪
701
00:31:24,733 --> 00:31:26,634
Those foolish boys.
702
00:31:26,735 --> 00:31:28,670
What, oh, what will they do?
703
00:31:33,608 --> 00:31:36,845
Craig Tiddle's phone,
Craig Tiddle speaking. Ah!
704
00:31:36,944 --> 00:31:38,513
Why didn't you tell me
Dad was a gay man
705
00:31:38,613 --> 00:31:40,381
obsessed with Sewer Boys?
706
00:31:40,481 --> 00:31:41,516
Because I was ashamed.
707
00:31:41,616 --> 00:31:43,350
You don't know what it's like
to feed Boar's Head ham
708
00:31:43,450 --> 00:31:45,854
to those slimy little demons
your whole life.
709
00:31:45,953 --> 00:31:48,288
Why didn't you tell me
Mom's pussy fell off?
710
00:31:48,389 --> 00:31:50,558
You weren't there.
It was really disturbing.
711
00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:52,527
Well, I'm sure it was,
but not knowing really--
712
00:31:52,627 --> 00:31:55,864
No, Craig. It was awful.
713
00:31:55,963 --> 00:31:58,800
It crawled away like
a fucking cockroach.
714
00:31:58,899 --> 00:32:00,033
Mom was screaming at me,
715
00:32:00,134 --> 00:32:03,270
"Kill it! Kill it!"
716
00:32:03,370 --> 00:32:06,140
I raised my flip-flop
to deal the death blow,
717
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,375
and it stared me
straight in the eyes.
718
00:32:08,475 --> 00:32:10,377
It had eyes now.
719
00:32:10,477 --> 00:32:13,480
"Dream of this,"
the pussy said to me.
720
00:32:13,581 --> 00:32:15,249
"Dream of this every night."
721
00:32:16,116 --> 00:32:17,519
And I do, Craig.
722
00:32:18,419 --> 00:32:19,420
I do.
723
00:32:20,487 --> 00:32:21,922
Well, our parents
are fucking freaks,
724
00:32:22,022 --> 00:32:23,290
and there's nothing
we can do about it.
725
00:32:23,390 --> 00:32:24,158
What do you mean?
726
00:32:24,258 --> 00:32:25,292
I mean that I thought our plan
727
00:32:25,392 --> 00:32:27,261
was going to be easy,
and it was not.
728
00:32:27,361 --> 00:32:28,962
But I still want to be
brothers, no homo.
729
00:32:29,062 --> 00:32:30,230
Want to be brothers,
no homo, too.
730
00:32:30,330 --> 00:32:31,599
Well, then we have to do this.
731
00:32:31,699 --> 00:32:33,701
But our parents
are completely incompatible.
732
00:32:33,802 --> 00:32:35,969
Mom has no pussy.
733
00:32:36,069 --> 00:32:38,172
Dad is a gay.
734
00:32:38,272 --> 00:32:41,442
I want this to work, okay?
But it just feels...
735
00:32:42,644 --> 00:32:44,178
impossible.
736
00:32:44,278 --> 00:32:46,548
Anything's possible
if you force it to be.
737
00:32:46,648 --> 00:32:48,583
-But--
-Shh.
738
00:32:55,289 --> 00:32:57,826
♪ When I waspicking colleges ♪
739
00:32:57,926 --> 00:33:00,461
♪ My sights were seton Brown ♪
740
00:33:00,562 --> 00:33:03,497
♪ But my scoreswere all so miserable ♪
741
00:33:03,598 --> 00:33:05,966
♪ That they justturned me down ♪
742
00:33:06,066 --> 00:33:09,036
♪ So I wentand saw the chancellor ♪
743
00:33:09,136 --> 00:33:11,305
♪ To make him think again ♪
744
00:33:11,405 --> 00:33:13,106
♪ And when he still refused ♪
745
00:33:13,207 --> 00:33:18,913
♪ I roofied himAnd then he let me in ♪
746
00:33:19,012 --> 00:33:21,048
♪ You can't give up ♪
747
00:33:21,148 --> 00:33:24,151
♪ When people tell you no ♪
748
00:33:24,251 --> 00:33:26,086
♪ You can't give up ♪
749
00:33:26,186 --> 00:33:29,524
♪ If you want it, make it so ♪
750
00:33:30,859 --> 00:33:33,026
♪ Life's a game of poker ♪
751
00:33:33,126 --> 00:33:35,563
♪ And I only play to win ♪
752
00:33:35,663 --> 00:33:38,700
♪ So if someone saysdon't do a thing ♪
753
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,368
♪ Just do that thing again ♪
754
00:33:42,436 --> 00:33:45,038
♪ Last year I found a condo ♪
755
00:33:45,138 --> 00:33:47,474
♪ So high up in the sky ♪
756
00:33:47,575 --> 00:33:50,645
♪ But the grandmotherwho lived there ♪
757
00:33:50,745 --> 00:33:53,146
♪ She wouldn't let me buy ♪
758
00:33:53,247 --> 00:33:55,650
♪ So I framed her assfor larceny ♪
759
00:33:55,750 --> 00:33:58,318
♪ And now she rots in jail ♪
760
00:33:58,418 --> 00:34:00,220
♪ Then I roofied a whole bar ♪
761
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,022
♪ And we all killed ♪
762
00:34:02,122 --> 00:34:05,927
♪ A humpback whale ♪
763
00:34:06,026 --> 00:34:07,729
♪ You can't give up ♪
764
00:34:07,829 --> 00:34:10,832
♪ When people tell you no ♪
765
00:34:10,932 --> 00:34:12,734
♪ You can't give up ♪
766
00:34:12,834 --> 00:34:15,803
♪ If you want it, make it so ♪
767
00:34:17,304 --> 00:34:19,841
♪ Life's a game of Boggle ♪
768
00:34:19,941 --> 00:34:22,442
♪ And I only play to win ♪
769
00:34:22,544 --> 00:34:25,112
♪ So if someone saysdon't do a thing ♪
770
00:34:25,212 --> 00:34:27,381
-♪ Just do that thing ♪-♪ And do that thing ♪
771
00:34:27,481 --> 00:34:29,584
♪ Again ♪
772
00:34:29,684 --> 00:34:31,920
♪ The losers areall thinking ♪
773
00:34:32,020 --> 00:34:35,122
♪ There's some secretto success ♪
774
00:34:35,222 --> 00:34:37,892
♪ And they also thinkthat "no" means "no" ♪
775
00:34:37,992 --> 00:34:42,597
♪ But really"No" means "yes" ♪
776
00:34:42,697 --> 00:34:47,702
♪ "No" means "yes" ♪
777
00:34:47,802 --> 00:34:49,704
♪ You can't give up ♪
778
00:34:49,804 --> 00:34:52,840
♪ When people tell you no ♪
779
00:34:52,941 --> 00:34:54,909
♪ You can't give up ♪
780
00:34:55,009 --> 00:34:59,179
♪ If you want it, make it so ♪
781
00:34:59,279 --> 00:35:01,415
♪ Life's a fucking hand job ♪
782
00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:04,284
♪ And I only play to win ♪
783
00:35:04,384 --> 00:35:06,320
♪ So stroke my fucking cock ♪
784
00:35:06,420 --> 00:35:09,524
♪ Until I blastall on your chin ♪
785
00:35:09,624 --> 00:35:12,292
♪ Then take that cumand lube me up ♪
786
00:35:12,392 --> 00:35:14,796
♪ Until I come again ♪
787
00:35:14,896 --> 00:35:17,732
♪ And if someone saysdon't do a thing ♪
788
00:35:17,832 --> 00:35:19,801
♪ Just do that thingand do that thing ♪
789
00:35:19,901 --> 00:35:21,002
♪ And do that thing ♪
790
00:35:21,101 --> 00:35:25,740
♪ And do that thing... ♪
791
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:29,242
♪ Again ♪
792
00:35:29,343 --> 00:35:31,411
♪ Do that thing again ♪
793
00:35:37,552 --> 00:35:40,287
Ah. Should I open
another bottle?
794
00:35:40,387 --> 00:35:41,789
I know it's our second,
795
00:35:41,889 --> 00:35:43,123
but we're not Baptists.
796
00:35:46,126 --> 00:35:47,260
Are you sure
that thing's secure?
797
00:35:47,361 --> 00:35:48,462
Hardly.
798
00:35:48,563 --> 00:35:50,965
They've gotten out
so many times,
799
00:35:51,065 --> 00:35:53,534
animal control
made me tag them.
800
00:35:53,635 --> 00:35:56,104
Have you ever thought about
putting them down?
801
00:35:56,203 --> 00:35:59,040
Good grief, I'd sooner
put down my wine.
802
00:35:59,139 --> 00:36:00,575
Though I admit,
they're a handful.
803
00:36:00,675 --> 00:36:03,343
I haven't had a vacation
in years,
804
00:36:03,443 --> 00:36:06,080
and you know how
I love jet lag.
805
00:36:06,179 --> 00:36:08,516
Let's talk about
what I want to talk about.
806
00:36:08,616 --> 00:36:11,819
Like Mom, for example.
If she's real or whatever.
807
00:36:11,919 --> 00:36:13,353
How did you two meet?
808
00:36:13,453 --> 00:36:15,790
Oh! It's a funny story.
809
00:36:15,890 --> 00:36:17,491
We met in a graveyard.
810
00:36:17,592 --> 00:36:19,594
I was trying to find a kidney.
811
00:36:19,694 --> 00:36:22,530
They sell like hotcakes
on the black market.
812
00:36:22,630 --> 00:36:24,532
-You were graverobbing.
-Why, Trevor,
813
00:36:24,632 --> 00:36:27,501
you know that was my job
before the war.
814
00:36:27,602 --> 00:36:29,971
And after. Yahtzee.
815
00:36:30,071 --> 00:36:31,139
We're doing a puzzle.
816
00:36:31,238 --> 00:36:32,540
Puzzle.
817
00:36:33,641 --> 00:36:36,243
There was your mother,
up to her neck
818
00:36:36,343 --> 00:36:38,178
in freshly-tilled dirt.
819
00:36:38,278 --> 00:36:40,982
When I called out to her,
she pulled a gun on me.
820
00:36:41,082 --> 00:36:42,182
Thought I was a cop.
821
00:36:42,282 --> 00:36:44,652
Graverobbing was illegal
in those days.
822
00:36:44,752 --> 00:36:45,953
It's still illegal.
823
00:36:46,054 --> 00:36:47,421
Well, don't tell the police
824
00:36:47,522 --> 00:36:50,625
or they'll make me return
half my wardrobe.
825
00:36:50,725 --> 00:36:53,728
All this talk about Dad.
What is it, Father's Day?
826
00:36:53,828 --> 00:36:55,429
You know, the more
you yammer on about Dad,
827
00:36:55,530 --> 00:36:56,964
it makes me think
you miss him.
828
00:36:57,065 --> 00:36:59,100
Like you want to
see him again.
829
00:36:59,199 --> 00:37:00,902
-See your mother?
-Why not?
830
00:37:01,002 --> 00:37:03,705
You said so yourself, you're
fucking monster children...
831
00:37:03,805 --> 00:37:04,839
Sewer Boys! Sewer Boys!
832
00:37:04,939 --> 00:37:06,708
Whatever!
833
00:37:06,808 --> 00:37:10,011
Your Sewer Boys take up
so much of your time.
834
00:37:10,111 --> 00:37:12,113
When's the last time
you went out
835
00:37:12,212 --> 00:37:13,815
and had a little fun?
836
00:37:13,915 --> 00:37:15,917
A little daddy time?
837
00:37:16,017 --> 00:37:18,986
The last time I went out...
838
00:37:19,087 --> 00:37:21,455
I know the Nazis
were still a thing.
839
00:37:21,556 --> 00:37:23,256
God, whatever happened
to them?
840
00:37:23,356 --> 00:37:24,491
See, this is what I mean.
841
00:37:24,592 --> 00:37:26,561
You should leave the house
now and then.
842
00:37:26,661 --> 00:37:28,730
Hit the town,
look at a current globe,
843
00:37:28,830 --> 00:37:29,630
see Dad.
844
00:37:29,731 --> 00:37:31,231
I don't know about
seeing your mother,
845
00:37:31,331 --> 00:37:33,433
but... you're right.
846
00:37:33,534 --> 00:37:35,069
A little company
could be nice.
847
00:37:35,169 --> 00:37:37,872
Well, how about
you and me go to dinner?
848
00:37:37,972 --> 00:37:39,807
Tomorrow night, 8:00 p.m.?
849
00:37:39,907 --> 00:37:41,075
Tomorrow night?
850
00:37:41,175 --> 00:37:43,310
Let's just have drinks
here instead, eh?
851
00:37:43,410 --> 00:37:45,747
Or, or...
we could go somewhere better.
852
00:37:45,847 --> 00:37:48,116
The kind of place where
you could fall in love again.
853
00:37:48,216 --> 00:37:49,751
A place like
854
00:37:50,218 --> 00:37:52,352
La Chateaux.
855
00:37:52,452 --> 00:37:56,023
The most romantic restaurant
in all of New York?
856
00:37:56,124 --> 00:37:57,658
Odd place to go with your son.
857
00:37:57,759 --> 00:37:58,926
Well, I already
made a reservation,
858
00:37:59,026 --> 00:38:01,662
so enjoy your empty evening
full of nothing
859
00:38:01,763 --> 00:38:03,097
but the silence
of your own thoughts.
860
00:38:03,197 --> 00:38:06,399
And I loved that idea you had
about dinner at La Chateaux.
861
00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:08,569
Wait a minute,
wasn't that your idea?
862
00:38:08,669 --> 00:38:11,139
Yup, that's right, a dinner
that's definitely your idea,
863
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:12,607
and definitely with me.
864
00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:13,641
Bye, Mommy.
865
00:38:13,741 --> 00:38:14,876
Well, we'll see.
866
00:38:14,976 --> 00:38:17,745
I mean, uh, it was lovely
of you to come over, though.
867
00:38:17,845 --> 00:38:20,214
I hope you'll come back...
868
00:38:20,313 --> 00:38:21,414
soon.
869
00:38:21,516 --> 00:38:22,750
Come back soon.
870
00:38:31,092 --> 00:38:36,564
♪ The phone, it never rings ♪
871
00:38:38,099 --> 00:38:43,538
♪ The door, it never knocks ♪
872
00:38:44,939 --> 00:38:50,077
♪ I sit herewith my bric-a-brac ♪
873
00:38:50,178 --> 00:38:53,181
♪ Oh, my tchotchkes ♪
874
00:38:53,281 --> 00:38:56,884
♪ And my clocks ♪
875
00:38:58,820 --> 00:39:03,423
♪ I don't thinkit's a problem ♪
876
00:39:03,524 --> 00:39:10,097
♪ That I hate to go outside ♪
877
00:39:10,198 --> 00:39:13,301
♪ Though I worry ♪
878
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:17,138
♪ It'll take them weeks ♪
879
00:39:17,238 --> 00:39:20,808
♪ To find my body ♪
880
00:39:20,908 --> 00:39:24,512
♪ Once I've died ♪
881
00:39:25,046 --> 00:39:26,781
♪ I'm lonely ♪
882
00:39:26,881 --> 00:39:30,350
♪ I'm lonely, I'm lonelyI'm lonely, I'm lonely ♪
883
00:39:30,450 --> 00:39:32,019
♪ I'm lonely ♪
884
00:39:32,119 --> 00:39:33,486
♪ So lonely ♪
885
00:39:33,588 --> 00:39:38,125
♪ So fucking lonelyall the time ♪
886
00:39:39,227 --> 00:39:42,429
♪ I am a person ♪
887
00:39:42,530 --> 00:39:44,198
♪ Who's lonely ♪
888
00:39:44,298 --> 00:39:49,070
♪ My Sewer BoysThey bring me joy ♪
889
00:39:51,005 --> 00:39:56,577
♪ They havethroughout the years ♪
890
00:39:58,045 --> 00:39:59,513
♪ But I admit ♪
891
00:39:59,614 --> 00:40:02,583
♪ They've scared away ♪
892
00:40:02,683 --> 00:40:06,354
♪ My wife, my son ♪
893
00:40:06,453 --> 00:40:09,389
♪ My peers ♪
894
00:40:09,489 --> 00:40:12,927
♪ Could it be ♪
895
00:40:13,027 --> 00:40:16,631
♪ I've hid behind ♪
896
00:40:16,731 --> 00:40:23,403
♪ My sweet, delightful pets? ♪
897
00:40:24,872 --> 00:40:27,642
♪ That they've mired me ♪
898
00:40:27,742 --> 00:40:30,578
♪ In crippling debt ♪
899
00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:35,448
♪ And been the causeof my death threats ♪
900
00:40:38,052 --> 00:40:39,486
♪ I'm lonely ♪
901
00:40:39,587 --> 00:40:44,125
♪ I'm lonely, I'm lonelyI'm lonely ♪
902
00:40:44,959 --> 00:40:46,459
♪ So lonely ♪
903
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:51,899
♪ So lonely and so all alone ♪
904
00:40:51,999 --> 00:40:55,870
♪ I am a person ♪
905
00:40:55,970 --> 00:40:58,639
♪ Was it wrong to throw away ♪
906
00:40:58,739 --> 00:41:01,208
♪ The marriage that I had? ♪
907
00:41:01,309 --> 00:41:02,777
♪ Was it wrong? ♪
908
00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:04,812
♪ To split my children up ♪
909
00:41:04,912 --> 00:41:08,182
♪ Is there a chancethat was bad? ♪
910
00:41:08,282 --> 00:41:09,817
♪ That was bad ♪
911
00:41:09,917 --> 00:41:12,485
♪ Am I wrong to live my life ♪
912
00:41:12,586 --> 00:41:15,056
♪ The way I do now? ♪
913
00:41:17,224 --> 00:41:19,660
-♪ Should I try to change? ♪-♪ Yes ♪
914
00:41:19,760 --> 00:41:22,063
-♪ Some way ♪-♪ Please ♪
915
00:41:22,163 --> 00:41:23,230
♪ Somehow ♪
916
00:41:23,331 --> 00:41:24,298
♪ Change ♪
917
00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:26,434
♪ I have so much to share ♪
918
00:41:26,534 --> 00:41:27,535
♪ Change ♪
919
00:41:27,635 --> 00:41:29,704
♪ Does anybody care? ♪
920
00:41:29,804 --> 00:41:33,274
♪ Please, GodIf you're listening ♪
921
00:41:33,374 --> 00:41:36,944
♪ Just trust meI'm Christian now ♪
922
00:41:37,044 --> 00:41:42,249
♪ Answer mymotherfucking prayer ♪
923
00:41:42,350 --> 00:41:45,052
Oh, not now. Not now.
924
00:41:50,091 --> 00:41:52,560
♪ I'm lonely ♪
925
00:41:52,660 --> 00:41:56,998
♪ I'm so lonely ♪
926
00:41:57,098 --> 00:41:58,833
♪ So lonely ♪
927
00:41:58,933 --> 00:42:03,504
♪ So lonely, I'm all alone ♪
928
00:42:03,604 --> 00:42:06,574
-♪ I'm lonely ♪-♪ I'm lonely ♪
929
00:42:06,674 --> 00:42:08,376
♪ So very lonely ♪
930
00:42:08,476 --> 00:42:10,578
♪ You know I'm lonely ♪
931
00:42:10,678 --> 00:42:14,215
♪ I am a person ♪
932
00:42:15,850 --> 00:42:18,619
-♪ Who's ♪-♪ Who's ♪
933
00:42:20,521 --> 00:42:22,656
♪ Lonely ♪
934
00:42:22,757 --> 00:42:26,293
-♪ Lonely ♪-♪ Lonely ♪
935
00:42:26,394 --> 00:42:29,230
♪ Lonely ♪
936
00:42:29,330 --> 00:42:36,203
-♪ Lonely ♪-♪ Lonely ♪
937
00:42:41,909 --> 00:42:43,911
Mom called me confirming
she's on for dinner tonight.
938
00:42:44,011 --> 00:42:46,515
Oh, Dad has left me,
like, 14 voice mails.
939
00:42:46,614 --> 00:42:48,783
-The plan is working, King.
-Hell yeah, King.
940
00:42:48,883 --> 00:42:50,985
There's no way this can
possibly go wrong.
941
00:42:51,085 --> 00:42:52,853
Uh... Oh, uh-uh.
942
00:42:52,953 --> 00:42:55,656
Tiddle, Brock, what the hell
y'all two doing here?
943
00:42:55,756 --> 00:42:56,924
We're keeping
your company afloat.
944
00:42:57,024 --> 00:42:58,292
-You're welcome.
-I don't know
945
00:42:58,392 --> 00:42:59,528
if estrogen
makes you forgetful,
946
00:42:59,627 --> 00:43:00,828
but we're your
top two salesmen.
947
00:43:00,928 --> 00:43:02,329
Uh, you're not
my two top salesmen.
948
00:43:02,430 --> 00:43:04,098
Check the board.
949
00:43:09,403 --> 00:43:10,371
Okay, so we missed a day
950
00:43:10,471 --> 00:43:11,739
and we fell down
a slot or two. Big deal.
951
00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:14,075
Bid deal? Y'all ain't been
here in two fucking weeks.
952
00:43:14,175 --> 00:43:15,876
-Two fucking weeks?
-Two fucking weeks?
953
00:43:15,976 --> 00:43:17,645
-'Cause we got that wig.
-That's it.
954
00:43:17,745 --> 00:43:19,380
-That's where the time went.
-Yeah.
955
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,282
Y'all fucked up.
So guess what?
956
00:43:21,382 --> 00:43:23,184
Because y'all haven't been
making me no money,
957
00:43:23,284 --> 00:43:24,251
y'all are dead to me.
958
00:43:24,351 --> 00:43:25,554
-What?
-You haven't been selling
959
00:43:25,653 --> 00:43:27,121
any fucking wheels,
any fucking gears,
960
00:43:27,221 --> 00:43:28,689
and y'all damn sure
ain't been selling
961
00:43:28,789 --> 00:43:30,858
no teeny tiny fucking brushes.
962
00:43:30,958 --> 00:43:33,661
Okay. I know we're not
supposed to say this anymore
963
00:43:33,761 --> 00:43:35,530
because it's not
acceptable or whatever,
964
00:43:35,629 --> 00:43:37,731
but you're being a bitch.
965
00:43:37,832 --> 00:43:38,899
Yeah,
and I would say that
966
00:43:38,999 --> 00:43:40,134
the way
you're acting right now
967
00:43:40,234 --> 00:43:41,635
is actually very bitch-y.
968
00:43:41,735 --> 00:43:44,638
Okay, well, I can show
y'all two bitches a bitch.
969
00:43:46,373 --> 00:43:47,641
♪ They say boys'll be boys ♪
970
00:43:47,741 --> 00:43:48,976
♪ Man, what a crock of shit ♪
971
00:43:49,076 --> 00:43:50,512
♪ These menThey hold all the cards ♪
972
00:43:50,611 --> 00:43:51,679
♪ It makes me want to spit ♪
973
00:43:51,779 --> 00:43:52,913
♪ They alwaysfucking shit up ♪
974
00:43:53,013 --> 00:43:54,348
♪ They're alwaysmaking a mess ♪
975
00:43:54,448 --> 00:43:57,051
♪ But I'mma tell youthe secret to my success ♪
976
00:43:57,151 --> 00:43:59,420
♪ Men are all stupidWeak little boys ♪
977
00:43:59,521 --> 00:44:02,156
♪ They're not very smartThey just make lots of noise ♪
978
00:44:02,256 --> 00:44:03,457
♪ They got their noseup my ass ♪
979
00:44:03,558 --> 00:44:04,692
♪ They want to beteacher's pet ♪
980
00:44:04,792 --> 00:44:05,960
♪ And so I keep themon their toes ♪
981
00:44:06,060 --> 00:44:07,061
♪ And make thosefuckers sweat ♪
982
00:44:07,161 --> 00:44:08,729
-♪ Girls ♪-♪ Girls ♪
983
00:44:08,829 --> 00:44:10,331
♪ Sit on your throneand just act like a queen ♪
984
00:44:10,431 --> 00:44:13,134
♪ And these boys will bedying to kiss the ring ♪
985
00:44:13,234 --> 00:44:15,669
♪ Train them to beglike the dogs that they are ♪
986
00:44:15,769 --> 00:44:17,705
♪ And you'll findthat it ain't no thing ♪
987
00:44:17,805 --> 00:44:21,142
♪ To out-alpha the alpha ♪
988
00:44:21,242 --> 00:44:22,843
♪ Mm-hmm ♪
989
00:44:22,943 --> 00:44:25,547
-♪ Outfox the fox ♪-♪ Ah, yeah ♪
990
00:44:25,646 --> 00:44:28,349
♪ Outfox the fox ♪
991
00:44:28,449 --> 00:44:30,818
♪ Outsmart all these dummies ♪
992
00:44:30,918 --> 00:44:33,487
♪ Outsmart all these dummies ♪
993
00:44:33,588 --> 00:44:36,056
♪ Out-fuck all these cocks ♪
994
00:44:36,157 --> 00:44:38,627
♪ Out-fuck all these cocks ♪
995
00:44:38,726 --> 00:44:41,195
♪ They'll cop a feelor smack yo ass ♪
996
00:44:41,295 --> 00:44:43,797
♪ And then they'll sucktheir little thumbs ♪
997
00:44:43,898 --> 00:44:46,800
♪ These boys all wanta kiss from mommy ♪
998
00:44:46,901 --> 00:44:48,836
♪ They're all scummysacks of cum ♪
999
00:44:48,936 --> 00:44:51,739
♪ So put your footright on they throat ♪
1000
00:44:51,839 --> 00:44:55,309
♪ If they are standingin your way and just ♪
1001
00:44:55,409 --> 00:44:59,947
♪ Make those fuckers pay ♪
1002
00:45:05,686 --> 00:45:06,987
♪ Stackin' my dollarsMaking my coin ♪
1003
00:45:07,087 --> 00:45:08,255
♪ Got dripin the back of my truck ♪
1004
00:45:08,355 --> 00:45:09,757
♪ Bank vault apartmentSwimming in cash ♪
1005
00:45:09,857 --> 00:45:11,125
♪ Scrooge McFucking McDuck ♪
1006
00:45:11,225 --> 00:45:13,227
♪ I always stay stunnin'My shit is brand-new ♪
1007
00:45:13,327 --> 00:45:15,462
♪ My tuna is ahiMy beef is Wagyu ♪
1008
00:45:15,564 --> 00:45:17,498
♪ Y'all are just servantsThis is my palace ♪
1009
00:45:17,599 --> 00:45:18,832
♪ Built it brick by brick ♪
1010
00:45:18,933 --> 00:45:20,067
♪ So get in a lineDrop on your knees ♪
1011
00:45:20,167 --> 00:45:21,202
♪ And suck my fucking dick ♪
1012
00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:22,604
♪ Then eat my assLick my pussy ♪
1013
00:45:22,703 --> 00:45:23,871
♪ And find my clit ♪
1014
00:45:23,971 --> 00:45:25,072
♪ Just keep on fuckingI'm not done ♪
1015
00:45:25,172 --> 00:45:26,340
♪ I'll tell you when to quit ♪
1016
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:27,576
♪ Hell, yeah, I'm raw ♪
1017
00:45:27,676 --> 00:45:28,876
♪ Bitch, I'm the star ♪
1018
00:45:28,976 --> 00:45:31,212
♪ And yes, I'm real, boyThere's no HR ♪
1019
00:45:31,312 --> 00:45:33,914
♪ I'm the fucking domDon't need a fucking man ♪
1020
00:45:34,014 --> 00:45:35,983
♪ And by nowyou know my plan ♪
1021
00:45:36,083 --> 00:45:38,653
♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪
1022
00:45:38,752 --> 00:45:40,821
♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪
1023
00:45:40,921 --> 00:45:43,123
♪ Out-screw the cock ♪
1024
00:45:43,224 --> 00:45:46,528
♪ Yeah, out-screwthese cocks ♪
1025
00:45:46,628 --> 00:45:48,663
♪ Outplay all these losers ♪
1026
00:45:48,762 --> 00:45:51,666
♪ Outplay all these losers ♪
1027
00:45:51,765 --> 00:45:54,401
♪ Out-juice all these nuts ♪
1028
00:45:54,501 --> 00:45:57,672
♪ Out-juice all these nuts ♪
1029
00:45:57,771 --> 00:46:00,107
♪ These baby boyscan't keep the pace ♪
1030
00:46:00,207 --> 00:46:02,743
♪ They're allso fucking slow ♪
1031
00:46:02,843 --> 00:46:05,680
♪ They love acting likethey run the place ♪
1032
00:46:05,779 --> 00:46:08,082
♪ But I'm the CEO ♪
1033
00:46:08,182 --> 00:46:10,685
♪ These men arefucking dinosaurs ♪
1034
00:46:10,784 --> 00:46:13,087
♪ About to be destroyed ♪
1035
00:46:13,187 --> 00:46:17,925
-♪ And I'm the asteroid ♪-♪ And I'm the asteroid ♪
1036
00:46:18,025 --> 00:46:20,327
♪ They've called me shrillThey've called me slut ♪
1037
00:46:20,427 --> 00:46:22,896
♪ They've called me ice queenAnd what's more ♪
1038
00:46:22,997 --> 00:46:25,799
♪ They've called me crazyCalled me loud ♪
1039
00:46:25,899 --> 00:46:29,069
♪ They've called me bitchand cunt and whore ♪
1040
00:46:29,169 --> 00:46:31,539
♪ Imagine, if you will ♪
1041
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:34,341
♪ We murdered all the males ♪
1042
00:46:34,441 --> 00:46:36,711
♪ A woman-driven world ♪
1043
00:46:36,810 --> 00:46:39,681
♪ Where equity prevails ♪
1044
00:46:39,780 --> 00:46:42,082
♪ SadlyThat's not how it is ♪
1045
00:46:42,182 --> 00:46:44,318
♪ But don't you get upset ♪
1046
00:46:44,418 --> 00:46:47,154
♪ I'll put those boysright in their place ♪
1047
00:46:47,254 --> 00:46:48,956
♪ Goddamn, that makes me wet ♪
1048
00:46:52,727 --> 00:46:55,396
Trevor, Craig, you're fired.
1049
00:46:56,864 --> 00:46:58,700
♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪
1050
00:46:58,799 --> 00:47:01,435
♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪
1051
00:47:01,536 --> 00:47:03,904
♪ Outfox the fox ♪
1052
00:47:04,004 --> 00:47:06,574
♪ Outfox the fox, ah ♪
1053
00:47:06,675 --> 00:47:08,777
♪ Outsmart all these dummies ♪
1054
00:47:08,876 --> 00:47:11,746
♪ Outsmart all the dummies ♪
1055
00:47:11,845 --> 00:47:14,516
♪ Out-fuck all these cocks ♪
1056
00:47:14,616 --> 00:47:16,884
♪ Out-fuck all these cocks ♪
1057
00:47:16,984 --> 00:47:19,987
♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪
1058
00:47:20,087 --> 00:47:22,590
♪ Out-alpha the alphaOut-alpha the alpha ♪
1059
00:47:22,691 --> 00:47:24,825
♪ Out-alpha the alpha ♪
1060
00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:27,762
♪ Ah ♪
1061
00:47:30,532 --> 00:47:32,466
Bitch, that was fun.
1062
00:47:32,567 --> 00:47:34,803
Okay, now, back to the story.
1063
00:47:50,050 --> 00:47:51,485
You know,
fuck that fucking job.
1064
00:47:51,586 --> 00:47:53,854
-Who needs that fucking job?
-Shh!
1065
00:47:53,954 --> 00:47:55,724
-Ugh.
-Rude.
1066
00:47:55,824 --> 00:47:58,359
-Oh! Look, look, look.
-Oh, oh.
1067
00:47:59,026 --> 00:48:01,596
Excuse me.
Excuse me, ma'am.
1068
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:05,866
M-Ma'am?
1069
00:48:24,284 --> 00:48:26,987
Ugh. Ugh.
1070
00:48:32,993 --> 00:48:35,028
Well, this is ridiculous.
1071
00:48:35,129 --> 00:48:36,397
I don't see him anywhere.
1072
00:48:36,497 --> 00:48:38,999
I'm just going to go
right back ho...
1073
00:48:39,534 --> 00:48:42,069
-Evelyn?
-Harris?
1074
00:48:42,169 --> 00:48:44,138
What are you doing here?
1075
00:48:44,238 --> 00:48:45,840
I'm having
a romantic dinner...
1076
00:48:45,939 --> 00:48:47,040
-...with Trevor.
-...with Craig.
1077
00:48:47,141 --> 00:48:49,476
Oh, my God.
1078
00:48:49,577 --> 00:48:50,745
The twins.
1079
00:48:50,845 --> 00:48:53,013
The twins must have
found one another,
1080
00:48:53,113 --> 00:48:55,416
switched places to meet
the parent they never knew
1081
00:48:55,517 --> 00:48:58,452
and then tricked us into
coming here and reuniting.
1082
00:48:58,986 --> 00:49:00,522
Those rascals.
1083
00:49:00,622 --> 00:49:02,690
Well, I'm flummoxed.
1084
00:49:02,791 --> 00:49:04,458
I'm dumbfounded.
1085
00:49:04,559 --> 00:49:07,127
Those were always
two of your best qualities.
1086
00:49:07,227 --> 00:49:10,297
Oh, Harris.
1087
00:49:10,397 --> 00:49:13,635
My God, Evelyn.
How long has it been?
1088
00:49:13,735 --> 00:49:16,638
260 years.
1089
00:49:16,738 --> 00:49:21,375
It's been 260 years
since we last saw one another?
1090
00:49:21,475 --> 00:49:24,945
Oh, I thought you meant since
the French and Indian War.
1091
00:49:25,045 --> 00:49:28,215
Oh, I have no idea how long
it's been since we...
1092
00:49:29,283 --> 00:49:30,919
split up.
1093
00:49:31,018 --> 00:49:34,622
Yes, well, at any rate,
it's been a long time.
1094
00:49:35,155 --> 00:49:38,125
Yes. Yes, it has.
1095
00:49:39,761 --> 00:49:41,094
Garcon?
1096
00:49:42,062 --> 00:49:44,998
-Garcon?
-Yes, madame?
1097
00:49:45,098 --> 00:49:47,401
Um, my apologies, but, uh,
1098
00:49:47,501 --> 00:49:50,237
we're actually going to have
to cancel our reservation.
1099
00:49:50,337 --> 00:49:52,807
Yes, there's been a mistake.
1100
00:49:52,907 --> 00:49:54,174
-Oh, ooh.
-Oh, oh.
1101
00:49:54,274 --> 00:49:56,009
Ah, but I hear that this wine
1102
00:49:56,109 --> 00:49:58,045
will be of particular interest
to you both.
1103
00:49:58,145 --> 00:50:01,148
It's a 1970 Domaine Leroy,
like you had
1104
00:50:01,248 --> 00:50:02,584
-on your honeymoon.
-Like we had on our honeymoon.
1105
00:50:02,684 --> 00:50:04,953
And it's in a bottle.
1106
00:50:05,052 --> 00:50:08,088
Well, it is a very nice wine.
1107
00:50:08,790 --> 00:50:11,058
And it is free, after all.
1108
00:50:11,158 --> 00:50:13,761
-It's not. Enjoy.
-Mmm.
1109
00:50:15,830 --> 00:50:17,197
A toast,
1110
00:50:17,297 --> 00:50:19,500
to our clever, stubborn boys.
1111
00:50:19,601 --> 00:50:22,804
They are the one thing
we got mostly right.
1112
00:50:22,904 --> 00:50:25,138
Mostly.
1113
00:50:26,741 --> 00:50:29,711
And... dissolve.
1114
00:50:29,811 --> 00:50:32,145
-Mmm.
-God, I've missed this.
1115
00:50:32,246 --> 00:50:34,582
And I haven't even thought
about the Sewer Boys once.
1116
00:50:34,682 --> 00:50:38,720
Those fucking things
are still alive? Ugh.
1117
00:50:38,820 --> 00:50:41,121
God, how old are they now?
1118
00:50:41,221 --> 00:50:42,489
They're younger, actually.
1119
00:50:42,590 --> 00:50:45,527
They operate outside
of linear time.
1120
00:50:45,627 --> 00:50:48,028
Sure. I'm familiar.
1121
00:50:49,664 --> 00:50:52,667
What went wrong
between us, Evelyn,
1122
00:50:52,767 --> 00:50:54,401
all those many moons ago?
1123
00:50:54,501 --> 00:50:57,572
Oh, what goes wrong
with any couple?
1124
00:50:57,672 --> 00:50:59,774
We were young and foolish.
1125
00:50:59,874 --> 00:51:02,075
-We drifted apart.
-Hmm.
1126
00:51:02,175 --> 00:51:04,244
And you did start fucking men.
1127
00:51:05,045 --> 00:51:07,247
All the time, fucking men.
1128
00:51:08,883 --> 00:51:11,619
There are always little clues
that a person might be gay.
1129
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:14,822
Well, it hardly matters now,
since my pussy fell off.
1130
00:51:14,923 --> 00:51:16,758
Yes, it hardly matters now.
1131
00:51:18,860 --> 00:51:20,360
I'm sorry, what?
1132
00:51:21,128 --> 00:51:22,429
Delicious.
1133
00:51:24,766 --> 00:51:26,099
Hmm.
1134
00:51:26,199 --> 00:51:27,802
Evelyn, is something
the matter?
1135
00:51:29,037 --> 00:51:31,271
Oh, you're choking. Oh!
1136
00:51:31,371 --> 00:51:32,172
Yes.
1137
00:51:37,045 --> 00:51:37,979
Hmm?
1138
00:51:38,078 --> 00:51:40,247
Oh. Harris?
1139
00:51:40,615 --> 00:51:41,716
Yes?
1140
00:51:41,816 --> 00:51:43,551
You're still holding onto me.
1141
00:51:43,651 --> 00:51:45,987
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-Oh, no, no. It's fine.
1142
00:51:46,086 --> 00:51:47,220
-It's...
-Oh.
1143
00:51:47,321 --> 00:51:48,957
It's more than fine.
1144
00:51:53,795 --> 00:51:55,429
What are we even doing?
1145
00:51:55,530 --> 00:51:56,564
I'm not sure.
1146
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:00,133
Aren't you gay?
1147
00:52:00,233 --> 00:52:02,102
I-I don't know.
It's like I'm...
1148
00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:04,471
I'm attracted
to both men and women.
1149
00:52:04,572 --> 00:52:08,108
Huh. Well, now I have
heard everything.
1150
00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:11,980
But, uh, also,
and correct me if I'm wrong,
1151
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:16,149
but, uh, didn't you just
say that your...
1152
00:52:18,052 --> 00:52:19,319
...pussy fell off?
1153
00:52:19,419 --> 00:52:23,323
Yes. Trevor had to kill it
with a flip-flop in Greece.
1154
00:52:23,423 --> 00:52:27,528
But what he doesn't know is,
I went back afterward,
1155
00:52:27,629 --> 00:52:31,065
scooped it up and put it
into a plastic bag,
1156
00:52:31,164 --> 00:52:34,736
and now I always
carry it with me
1157
00:52:34,836 --> 00:52:37,038
so that I feel like a woman.
1158
00:52:37,137 --> 00:52:39,306
Well, now
I've heard everything.
1159
00:52:39,406 --> 00:52:41,408
Oh, my God.
1160
00:52:41,509 --> 00:52:43,410
Well, that was unexpected.
1161
00:52:44,478 --> 00:52:46,848
-Uh, oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
-Oh.
1162
00:52:46,948 --> 00:52:48,215
These are yours,
those are mine.
1163
00:52:48,315 --> 00:52:49,684
I'm so embarrassed. Yes.
1164
00:52:49,784 --> 00:52:52,319
Yes.
1165
00:52:52,954 --> 00:52:54,022
Oh, my God.
1166
00:52:56,824 --> 00:52:57,792
So...
1167
00:52:59,292 --> 00:53:01,361
we can be together.
1168
00:53:01,461 --> 00:53:04,699
Why, yes. Yes, we can.
1169
00:53:13,041 --> 00:53:15,843
♪ I thought these feelings ♪
1170
00:53:15,943 --> 00:53:18,178
♪ All had died ♪
1171
00:53:18,278 --> 00:53:21,381
♪ But now you're here ♪
1172
00:53:21,481 --> 00:53:25,252
♪ And now I find ♪
1173
00:53:25,352 --> 00:53:30,290
♪ I've missed you very much ♪
1174
00:53:32,426 --> 00:53:37,330
♪ I've missed your hairYour eyes, your face ♪
1175
00:53:37,431 --> 00:53:40,134
♪ But now you're here ♪
1176
00:53:40,233 --> 00:53:42,302
♪ And now I yearn ♪
1177
00:53:42,402 --> 00:53:47,909
♪ For a tender lover's ♪
1178
00:53:48,009 --> 00:53:50,210
♪ Touch ♪
1179
00:53:51,445 --> 00:53:52,980
-Wow.
-Wow.
1180
00:53:58,986 --> 00:54:02,322
♪ I feel the beat, beat, beatof your thumping heart ♪
1181
00:54:02,422 --> 00:54:03,958
♪ It's just my bodytelling you ♪
1182
00:54:04,058 --> 00:54:05,358
♪ I'm ready to start ♪
1183
00:54:05,459 --> 00:54:08,196
♪ Well, let's do it nowbecause I'm ready to go ♪
1184
00:54:08,295 --> 00:54:09,597
♪ You know I like it rough ♪
1185
00:54:09,697 --> 00:54:11,431
♪ So don't you take it slow ♪
1186
00:54:11,532 --> 00:54:14,535
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
1187
00:54:14,635 --> 00:54:16,170
♪ I'm desperatefor your dick ♪
1188
00:54:16,269 --> 00:54:17,939
♪ Desperate for your pussy ♪
1189
00:54:18,039 --> 00:54:19,239
♪ Hungry for your dick ♪
1190
00:54:19,339 --> 00:54:21,374
♪ Give meGive me that pussy ♪
1191
00:54:21,475 --> 00:54:24,545
♪ I got the taste, tastetaste of you on my tongue ♪
1192
00:54:24,645 --> 00:54:27,648
♪ I want to get real wildlike when we were young ♪
1193
00:54:27,749 --> 00:54:30,852
♪ Well, let's do it nowbecause I'm ready to go ♪
1194
00:54:30,952 --> 00:54:34,188
♪ Roll over here, baby'Cause I'm fixing to blow ♪
1195
00:54:34,287 --> 00:54:37,390
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
1196
00:54:37,491 --> 00:54:39,060
♪ I'm desperatefor your snatch ♪
1197
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:40,962
♪ I'm desperatefor your cock ♪
1198
00:54:41,062 --> 00:54:42,163
♪ I want vagina ♪
1199
00:54:42,262 --> 00:54:44,832
♪ I'm talking about penis ♪
1200
00:55:00,347 --> 00:55:03,050
♪ I'm desperate ♪
1201
00:55:03,151 --> 00:55:08,055
♪ For your love ♪
1202
00:55:08,156 --> 00:55:09,857
♪ Desperate for your love ♪
1203
00:55:16,429 --> 00:55:17,965
And stay out.
1204
00:55:18,065 --> 00:55:21,235
Oh, I had a cape. Ugh.
1205
00:55:21,334 --> 00:55:23,470
♪ We did it, we did it ♪
1206
00:55:23,571 --> 00:55:24,539
♪ We did it ♪
1207
00:55:24,639 --> 00:55:25,673
Harris, we're being mugged.
1208
00:55:25,773 --> 00:55:27,141
-We're gonna die.
-No, no.
1209
00:55:27,241 --> 00:55:28,676
-No, darling.
-Huh? What?
1210
00:55:28,776 --> 00:55:30,178
It-it's our boys.
1211
00:55:30,278 --> 00:55:31,411
Oh, my God!
1212
00:55:31,512 --> 00:55:33,380
-It's so good to see you.
-Oh, yay.
1213
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:35,983
To see you both together.
1214
00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:38,485
Now, why'd you switch places?
1215
00:55:38,586 --> 00:55:40,555
I guess we thought,
since you gave us up,
1216
00:55:40,655 --> 00:55:42,290
-maybe it meant you...
-Hated us.
1217
00:55:42,389 --> 00:55:44,525
Hated you? No.
1218
00:55:44,625 --> 00:55:46,359
We hardly even knew you.
1219
00:55:46,459 --> 00:55:49,664
We drew straws at the hospital
and each took a kid.
1220
00:55:51,165 --> 00:55:53,067
I just can't get over it.
1221
00:55:53,167 --> 00:55:54,936
All of us, reunited.
1222
00:55:55,036 --> 00:55:56,436
It's just like we planned.
1223
00:55:56,537 --> 00:55:58,873
And now that you're
back in love again,
1224
00:55:58,973 --> 00:56:00,875
you're gonna get married!
1225
00:56:00,975 --> 00:56:01,709
-What?
-What?
1226
00:56:01,809 --> 00:56:03,343
Get married! And when you do,
1227
00:56:03,443 --> 00:56:04,612
do you think you'll change
your last names?
1228
00:56:04,712 --> 00:56:06,346
Oh! Should we change
our last names?
1229
00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:08,216
-No, wait.
-We can all live together.
1230
00:56:08,316 --> 00:56:09,416
Then every day
would be like Christmas.
1231
00:56:09,517 --> 00:56:11,152
-Yes.
-Unless we're Jewish,
1232
00:56:11,252 --> 00:56:13,353
then every day
would be like Easter.
1233
00:56:13,453 --> 00:56:17,325
Boys, boys, please, I mean,
Craig, I just met you.
1234
00:56:17,457 --> 00:56:19,927
-I'm Trevor.
-Exactly. And I'm gay.
1235
00:56:20,027 --> 00:56:22,163
Yeah, but you just had hot,
awesome sex with Mom,
1236
00:56:22,263 --> 00:56:23,764
so now maybe you're straight.
1237
00:56:23,865 --> 00:56:26,033
It's clear that we were both
just longing
1238
00:56:26,133 --> 00:56:27,568
for some physical touch.
1239
00:56:27,668 --> 00:56:29,337
We were fucking horny.
1240
00:56:29,436 --> 00:56:33,207
Right, exactly,
but our marriage didn't work.
1241
00:56:33,307 --> 00:56:35,209
And I'm an independent woman.
1242
00:56:35,309 --> 00:56:39,847
I do not like
when people live with...
1243
00:56:47,355 --> 00:56:48,723
me.
1244
00:56:48,823 --> 00:56:53,294
And I-I feel like maybe I
haven't stressed this enough,
1245
00:56:53,393 --> 00:56:54,896
I do fuck men.
1246
00:56:54,996 --> 00:56:57,598
Not as often as I'd like,
but whenever I get the chance.
1247
00:56:57,698 --> 00:56:59,867
Boys, listen now.
1248
00:56:59,967 --> 00:57:01,736
We love you, but...
1249
00:57:02,236 --> 00:57:08,576
we will never...
1250
00:57:09,610 --> 00:57:11,612
get married again.
1251
00:57:14,081 --> 00:57:16,416
This is stupid!
1252
00:57:16,517 --> 00:57:19,120
I hate you!
And I hate both of you!
1253
00:57:19,220 --> 00:57:20,321
We lost everything
1254
00:57:20,420 --> 00:57:21,756
-because of you.
-No.
1255
00:57:21,856 --> 00:57:23,557
Now we don't even have
a family?
1256
00:57:23,658 --> 00:57:25,693
We can still be a family,
1257
00:57:25,793 --> 00:57:28,095
even if your mother and I
aren't together.
1258
00:57:28,195 --> 00:57:29,964
No, not the kind we wanted.
1259
00:57:30,064 --> 00:57:32,733
You split us up
when we were babies.
1260
00:57:32,833 --> 00:57:35,169
I mean, that's fucking psycho!
1261
00:57:35,269 --> 00:57:36,871
Boys, we didn't realize
1262
00:57:36,971 --> 00:57:38,973
that being lied to
your entire lives
1263
00:57:39,073 --> 00:57:40,675
would upset you this much.
1264
00:57:40,775 --> 00:57:43,411
But at least
we have each other now.
1265
00:57:43,511 --> 00:57:44,946
-No, no, no, no, no.
-No, no, no, no. No, Dad.
1266
00:57:45,046 --> 00:57:46,681
-Yay! Yay!
-No. No, Mommy.
1267
00:57:46,781 --> 00:57:48,683
-Yay. Yay.
-No, Mommy.
1268
00:57:48,783 --> 00:57:50,985
-No. No.
-Stop it. Stop it.
1269
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:53,888
-Yay.
-No.
1270
00:57:55,589 --> 00:57:56,557
Come on, Craig.
1271
00:57:56,657 --> 00:57:57,825
-Trevor.
-Trevor.
1272
00:57:58,491 --> 00:58:00,027
Let's go.
1273
00:58:00,127 --> 00:58:01,762
-Yeah.
-Ugh.
1274
00:58:01,862 --> 00:58:03,998
Don't. Don't leave like this.
1275
00:58:04,932 --> 00:58:05,967
Oh...
1276
00:58:07,467 --> 00:58:09,704
Which one is which?
1277
00:58:10,470 --> 00:58:11,672
We can still fix this.
1278
00:58:11,772 --> 00:58:13,207
We just need to get
Mom and Dad to...
1279
00:58:13,307 --> 00:58:14,709
No, Trevor, just-- No.
1280
00:58:14,809 --> 00:58:16,577
-You don't mean that.
-I do.
1281
00:58:16,677 --> 00:58:19,847
I-I mean no,
and no means no this time.
1282
00:58:19,947 --> 00:58:22,149
I'm done, okay?
This is done.
1283
00:58:22,249 --> 00:58:23,417
What are you saying?
1284
00:58:23,517 --> 00:58:25,519
I-I don't know
what I'm saying.
1285
00:58:25,619 --> 00:58:27,989
I've never felt
this way before.
1286
00:58:28,089 --> 00:58:30,191
Usually when I want something,
I get it.
1287
00:58:30,291 --> 00:58:32,893
In fact, it almost feels like
society and all its systems
1288
00:58:32,994 --> 00:58:35,463
were built so that a man
who looks like me can succeed.
1289
00:58:35,563 --> 00:58:38,332
And so, now to want something
and not get it,
1290
00:58:38,432 --> 00:58:40,735
it-it makes me feel... feel...
1291
00:58:40,835 --> 00:58:42,803
-Feel what, Craig? What?
-Feelings!
1292
00:58:42,903 --> 00:58:45,573
Bad ones! And I want to
make them go away!
1293
00:58:45,673 --> 00:58:48,009
-This is just like you.
-Excuse me?
1294
00:58:48,109 --> 00:58:50,444
To give up.
I bet you give up
on your boner
1295
00:58:50,544 --> 00:58:51,712
before it's even fully hard.
1296
00:58:51,812 --> 00:58:54,015
Fuck you. I have never
given up on a semi.
1297
00:58:54,115 --> 00:58:55,750
My doctors say
I am medically horny.
1298
00:58:55,850 --> 00:58:58,452
I never lost anything
until you showed up.
1299
00:58:58,552 --> 00:59:00,054
You ruined my life!
1300
00:59:00,154 --> 00:59:01,622
You ruined mine, okay?
1301
00:59:01,722 --> 00:59:02,990
I knew this wouldn't work!
1302
00:59:03,090 --> 00:59:05,793
It would still work if you
weren't a fucking quitter.
1303
00:59:05,893 --> 00:59:08,562
We didn't quit. We failed!
1304
00:59:11,966 --> 00:59:13,067
Well, if that's how
you feel about it,
1305
00:59:13,167 --> 00:59:14,869
then I guess there's nothing
left to say.
1306
00:59:14,969 --> 00:59:16,470
I guess not.
1307
00:59:16,570 --> 00:59:18,039
Goodbye forever, Craig.
1308
00:59:18,139 --> 00:59:19,840
Goodbye to you, too.
1309
00:59:19,940 --> 00:59:21,409
For forever.
1310
00:59:35,289 --> 00:59:36,424
Wait, you...
1311
00:59:36,525 --> 00:59:38,259
You've lived next to me
this entire time?
1312
00:59:38,359 --> 00:59:39,794
I guess so.
1313
00:59:40,694 --> 00:59:42,129
That's weird.
1314
00:59:42,630 --> 00:59:44,065
Yeah.
1315
00:59:44,165 --> 00:59:45,166
That is weird.
1316
00:59:51,806 --> 00:59:57,344
♪ No one understandswhat I've been through ♪
1317
00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:05,920
♪ No one knowswhat it's like to be ♪
1318
01:00:06,921 --> 01:00:11,158
♪ I just lostmy brother twin ♪
1319
01:00:14,628 --> 01:00:19,166
♪ Who also wasmy only friend ♪
1320
01:00:22,069 --> 01:00:27,274
♪ The only onewho understands ♪
1321
01:00:29,710 --> 01:00:31,045
♪ Is... ♪
1322
01:00:48,195 --> 01:00:49,497
Jesus, Craig.
1323
01:00:49,598 --> 01:00:51,065
You look like shit.
1324
01:00:51,165 --> 01:00:52,700
I'm fine. Can it.
1325
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:54,536
Hey, that's my job.
1326
01:00:54,635 --> 01:00:55,636
Shut up.
1327
01:00:55,736 --> 01:00:56,737
No, you shut up.
1328
01:00:56,837 --> 01:00:58,139
You know what?
1329
01:00:58,239 --> 01:00:59,940
Actually, fuck off.
1330
01:01:00,875 --> 01:01:02,843
Get the fuck out of here!
1331
01:01:07,982 --> 01:01:10,017
Oh, hey, hey.
Can I bum one of those?
1332
01:01:10,117 --> 01:01:12,019
Man, I already gave you
a whole pack.
1333
01:01:12,119 --> 01:01:14,421
Aren't you supposed to be
some sort of hung hotshot?
1334
01:01:14,523 --> 01:01:15,956
He was once.
1335
01:01:16,690 --> 01:01:18,225
But he got fired.
1336
01:01:18,325 --> 01:01:19,594
And I heard
1337
01:01:19,693 --> 01:01:21,762
that while his penis is large,
1338
01:01:21,862 --> 01:01:23,931
it's only slightly
above average.
1339
01:01:25,499 --> 01:01:27,636
No. That's not true.
1340
01:01:27,735 --> 01:01:29,436
It's very large!
1341
01:01:30,204 --> 01:01:31,372
Come back!
1342
01:01:33,774 --> 01:01:35,176
-Harris.
-Hmm?
1343
01:01:36,277 --> 01:01:37,978
I'm worried.
1344
01:01:38,679 --> 01:01:39,713
About us?
1345
01:01:39,813 --> 01:01:41,215
No, not about us.
1346
01:01:41,315 --> 01:01:43,884
We'll be friends,
and sometimes we'll fuck.
1347
01:01:43,984 --> 01:01:46,854
Okay, yes, same page,
precisely.
1348
01:01:46,954 --> 01:01:50,257
I was talking about the boys.
1349
01:01:50,357 --> 01:01:51,325
Oh, them.
1350
01:01:51,425 --> 01:01:53,160
What are we going to do?
1351
01:01:53,894 --> 01:01:55,029
I don't know.
1352
01:01:55,129 --> 01:01:56,764
Should we drown them
in the bathtub
1353
01:01:56,864 --> 01:01:58,766
in the old-fashioned way?
1354
01:02:01,468 --> 01:02:02,836
They didn't drown them.
1355
01:02:02,937 --> 01:02:05,039
They kidnapped them.
1356
01:02:08,275 --> 01:02:09,743
Surprise!
1357
01:02:09,843 --> 01:02:12,246
Mom? Dad? What the fuck?
1358
01:02:12,346 --> 01:02:14,982
-And where's my beard?
-Where's my beard?
1359
01:02:15,082 --> 01:02:16,450
Those beards
were fucking awesome.
1360
01:02:16,551 --> 01:02:17,586
Yes.
1361
01:02:17,686 --> 01:02:19,753
-No, they were fake.
-And shitty looking.
1362
01:02:19,853 --> 01:02:21,155
Exactly.
1363
01:02:21,255 --> 01:02:24,526
Boys, we see now that
splitting you up at birth
1364
01:02:24,626 --> 01:02:26,093
was borderline abusive,
1365
01:02:26,827 --> 01:02:28,796
but parenting's hard.
1366
01:02:28,896 --> 01:02:31,865
Everyone makes mistakes,
right?
1367
01:02:31,966 --> 01:02:34,768
That's it?
That's why you kidnapped us?
1368
01:02:34,868 --> 01:02:37,972
Oh, can you even kidnap
an adult?
1369
01:02:38,072 --> 01:02:40,040
-Yes.
-Listen,
1370
01:02:40,140 --> 01:02:41,942
we didn't want
to be kidnapped, all right?
1371
01:02:42,042 --> 01:02:43,811
-We wanted you to apologize.
-Right.
1372
01:02:43,911 --> 01:02:45,813
We are apologizing.
1373
01:02:45,913 --> 01:02:48,115
We're sorry that
you're mad at us,
1374
01:02:48,215 --> 01:02:50,184
and we'd rather
that you not be.
1375
01:02:50,284 --> 01:02:52,786
You know what? We would love
to not be mad at you,
1376
01:02:52,886 --> 01:02:56,357
if you would just do
what we want and get married.
1377
01:02:56,457 --> 01:02:59,226
Oh, eat me. Not again.
1378
01:02:59,326 --> 01:03:02,530
You two really are stubborn.
1379
01:03:02,631 --> 01:03:03,764
You two are stubborn.
1380
01:03:03,864 --> 01:03:04,898
Uh-oh, dinnertime.
1381
01:03:04,999 --> 01:03:06,767
-Why won't you change for us?
-Yes.
1382
01:03:06,867 --> 01:03:10,337
I don't even know
what there is to change.
1383
01:03:11,372 --> 01:03:13,340
This, Dad. Change this.
1384
01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:16,277
Oh! Now you've upset them.
1385
01:03:16,377 --> 01:03:18,178
-Oh.
-Oh. Careful.
1386
01:03:18,279 --> 01:03:19,880
They don't like
sudden movements.
1387
01:03:19,980 --> 01:03:21,415
-Ugh.
-Oh!
1388
01:03:21,516 --> 01:03:22,717
Oh!
1389
01:03:22,816 --> 01:03:25,152
Oh, they're out. They're out.
Ew, ew, ew!
1390
01:03:25,252 --> 01:03:28,822
Motherfucker!
1391
01:03:28,922 --> 01:03:31,726
Shut up!
1392
01:03:31,859 --> 01:03:34,428
Backpack. Whisper.
Dear God, no!
1393
01:03:36,598 --> 01:03:38,165
Sewer Boys.
1394
01:03:38,533 --> 01:03:40,267
My Sewer Boys.
1395
01:03:42,303 --> 01:03:45,306
They've returned
to the slimy depths
1396
01:03:45,406 --> 01:03:47,107
from whence they came.
1397
01:03:51,680 --> 01:03:52,946
They've gone down the pipes.
1398
01:03:53,047 --> 01:03:55,282
-Oh.
-Back into the sewers.
1399
01:03:55,382 --> 01:03:56,216
I have to go after them.
1400
01:03:56,317 --> 01:03:57,652
Go after them?
1401
01:03:57,752 --> 01:03:59,853
But he's, like,
40 years old, I bet.
1402
01:03:59,953 --> 01:04:01,922
What do we all
think of this cape?
1403
01:04:02,022 --> 01:04:03,490
I know,
1404
01:04:03,591 --> 01:04:06,695
it's too drab. I'm gonna go
with the Valentino.
1405
01:04:06,795 --> 01:04:09,830
Are you sure
this is a good idea?
1406
01:04:09,930 --> 01:04:11,733
Sure as schadenfreude.
1407
01:04:11,832 --> 01:04:13,233
I'm going in.
1408
01:04:13,334 --> 01:04:17,605
A sometimes-gay man
all alone in the sewers?
1409
01:04:17,706 --> 01:04:20,207
Seems dangerous.
1410
01:04:20,307 --> 01:04:21,342
It is,
1411
01:04:22,109 --> 01:04:24,378
but those Sewer Boys,
1412
01:04:24,478 --> 01:04:26,013
they're my whole life.
1413
01:04:28,415 --> 01:04:29,751
Au revoir, my dear.
1414
01:04:29,850 --> 01:04:31,985
Oh, oh.
1415
01:04:33,954 --> 01:04:36,624
Goddamn it.
1416
01:04:36,725 --> 01:04:39,259
I just got these pants.
1417
01:04:40,127 --> 01:04:41,796
Come on, Mom,
let's get you home.
1418
01:04:41,895 --> 01:04:42,963
But Harris is all alone and...
1419
01:04:43,063 --> 01:04:44,231
Oh, fuck him.
1420
01:04:44,331 --> 01:04:45,966
And what do you care?
Don't you have to go back
1421
01:04:46,066 --> 01:04:48,068
to shutting out
the entire world?
1422
01:04:49,704 --> 01:04:52,640
♪ I'm 93 ♪
1423
01:04:52,741 --> 01:04:55,810
♪ No, 94 ♪
1424
01:04:55,909 --> 01:04:59,046
♪ That's not so bad ♪
1425
01:04:59,146 --> 01:05:02,483
♪ I do want ♪
1426
01:05:02,584 --> 01:05:05,587
♪ More ♪
1427
01:05:24,739 --> 01:05:28,275
I'm coming, Harris!
1428
01:05:28,375 --> 01:05:30,244
What the fuck?
1429
01:05:30,344 --> 01:05:31,679
Jesus Christ.
1430
01:05:31,780 --> 01:05:34,448
Ugh. We're not going
in there, right?
1431
01:05:34,549 --> 01:05:36,316
No fucking way.
1432
01:05:39,953 --> 01:05:41,922
-I'm gonna go in.
-Okay, then me, too.
1433
01:05:42,022 --> 01:05:44,458
Whee!
1434
01:05:52,567 --> 01:05:54,368
♪ I must run ♪
1435
01:05:54,468 --> 01:05:56,303
♪ To my boys ♪
1436
01:05:56,403 --> 01:05:59,306
♪ I must goI must run to my boys ♪
1437
01:05:59,406 --> 01:06:00,675
Dad!
1438
01:06:00,775 --> 01:06:02,544
♪ My God, they came ♪
1439
01:06:02,644 --> 01:06:04,478
♪ Could it be thatI was wrong? ♪
1440
01:06:05,680 --> 01:06:08,949
♪ Was I runningfrom my family all along? ♪
1441
01:06:14,121 --> 01:06:15,890
♪ Harris is so brave ♪
1442
01:06:15,989 --> 01:06:17,926
♪ The boys each foundtheir twin ♪
1443
01:06:18,058 --> 01:06:20,060
♪ These men have chargedback in my life ♪
1444
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:22,429
♪ And changed it from within ♪
1445
01:06:22,530 --> 01:06:24,465
♪ Up is down ♪
1446
01:06:24,566 --> 01:06:26,668
♪ Left is right ♪
1447
01:06:26,768 --> 01:06:29,604
♪ And even underground ♪
1448
01:06:29,704 --> 01:06:32,406
♪ My world feels bright ♪
1449
01:06:36,678 --> 01:06:38,278
♪ I'm sorry we fought ♪
1450
01:06:38,378 --> 01:06:40,582
♪ Oh, my God, dude, me, too ♪
1451
01:06:40,682 --> 01:06:44,752
♪ My life's so much betterwhen I am with you ♪
1452
01:06:44,853 --> 01:06:46,754
♪ It's not what I wanted ♪
1453
01:06:46,855 --> 01:06:48,923
♪ And yet, could it be? ♪
1454
01:06:49,022 --> 01:06:52,392
♪ Do we have a family? ♪
1455
01:06:57,599 --> 01:06:58,867
♪ I must run ♪
1456
01:06:58,967 --> 01:07:00,768
-♪ Harris is so brave ♪-♪ You're so fucking awesome ♪
1457
01:07:00,869 --> 01:07:04,572
-♪ Dude, you're awesome, too ♪-♪ My life's so much better ♪
1458
01:07:04,672 --> 01:07:06,273
-♪ When I am with you ♪-♪ These men ♪
1459
01:07:06,373 --> 01:07:07,742
-♪ Have charged back ♪-♪ They're here ♪
1460
01:07:07,842 --> 01:07:09,376
-♪ In my life ♪-♪ I fear that I was wrong ♪
1461
01:07:09,476 --> 01:07:12,780
♪ I've been runningfrom my family all along ♪
1462
01:07:12,881 --> 01:07:14,549
♪ Do we have a family? ♪
1463
01:07:18,151 --> 01:07:19,954
♪ I can't believe ♪
1464
01:07:20,053 --> 01:07:21,956
♪ We are together ♪
1465
01:07:22,055 --> 01:07:23,357
♪ Underneath the city ♪
1466
01:07:23,457 --> 01:07:25,793
♪ Where it smells like piss ♪
1467
01:07:25,894 --> 01:07:27,662
♪ As a unit ♪
1468
01:07:27,762 --> 01:07:29,998
♪ We are so much better ♪
1469
01:07:30,097 --> 01:07:33,001
♪ I never thoughtit would be like this ♪
1470
01:07:33,100 --> 01:07:34,936
♪ Also, it smells like piss ♪
1471
01:07:35,035 --> 01:07:38,071
♪ It smells like piss ♪
1472
01:07:38,171 --> 01:07:39,674
♪ We're all down here togetherin the sewer ♪
1473
01:07:39,774 --> 01:07:41,709
♪ And it smells likefucking piss ♪
1474
01:07:44,646 --> 01:07:45,780
Backpack. Whisper.
1475
01:07:45,880 --> 01:07:48,382
Die, Sewer Boys, die.
1476
01:07:48,482 --> 01:07:49,751
Dear God!
1477
01:07:49,851 --> 01:07:52,587
No!
1478
01:07:52,687 --> 01:07:54,221
No! Oh...
1479
01:07:54,321 --> 01:07:56,724
Die, die, die!
1480
01:07:56,824 --> 01:07:58,191
-Oh! Oh, God.
-Oh!
1481
01:07:58,292 --> 01:08:00,227
Okay. All right,
all right, all right,
1482
01:08:00,327 --> 01:08:01,763
all right, all right.
1483
01:08:03,798 --> 01:08:07,702
Mama's gonna need you
to be brave, baby girl.
1484
01:08:08,770 --> 01:08:10,905
I know, I know,
1485
01:08:11,271 --> 01:08:12,941
but you got this.
1486
01:08:13,041 --> 01:08:14,374
All right.
1487
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:28,723
Oh!
1488
01:08:33,460 --> 01:08:34,428
Ooh!
1489
01:08:34,529 --> 01:08:35,597
Oh, my God.
1490
01:08:35,697 --> 01:08:39,232
Eat my snatch,
you government piece of shit.
1491
01:08:39,333 --> 01:08:41,301
Are you all right? Oh...
1492
01:08:41,401 --> 01:08:44,271
Jesus, Mom,
your pussy saved the day.
1493
01:08:44,371 --> 01:08:46,074
Backpack. Whisper.
1494
01:08:46,173 --> 01:08:48,408
Oh.
1495
01:08:50,377 --> 01:08:53,081
Wait a minute, are those...
1496
01:08:53,180 --> 01:08:55,182
their parents?
1497
01:08:55,282 --> 01:08:58,385
They're so fake
and shitty looking.
1498
01:08:59,386 --> 01:09:01,823
All right,
1499
01:09:01,923 --> 01:09:02,957
let's grab
the little abortions
1500
01:09:03,057 --> 01:09:04,324
and get the fuck out of here.
1501
01:09:07,528 --> 01:09:08,495
No.
1502
01:09:09,429 --> 01:09:11,599
-Let them stay.
-What?
1503
01:09:11,699 --> 01:09:12,967
But you love them.
1504
01:09:13,067 --> 01:09:15,003
I do,
1505
01:09:15,103 --> 01:09:16,738
but they deserve to be
with their family.
1506
01:09:18,940 --> 01:09:20,140
And...
1507
01:09:20,842 --> 01:09:22,543
maybe when they're gone...
1508
01:09:24,045 --> 01:09:25,913
I'll finally have time
to be with mine.
1509
01:09:26,014 --> 01:09:31,853
Aw...
1510
01:09:31,953 --> 01:09:33,286
-Does he mean us?
-Yeah.
1511
01:09:33,387 --> 01:09:35,222
-I think he means us.
-Oh, good. Okay.
1512
01:09:35,322 --> 01:09:36,824
Goodbye, Backpack.
1513
01:09:36,924 --> 01:09:39,226
-Bye.
-Goodbye, Whisper.
1514
01:09:39,961 --> 01:09:42,429
Goodbye, Daddy.
1515
01:09:47,935 --> 01:09:49,637
Take care of yourselves.
1516
01:09:57,111 --> 01:10:00,280
Boys, I...
I'm-I'm so sorry.
1517
01:10:01,248 --> 01:10:02,550
I was wrong.
1518
01:10:02,650 --> 01:10:03,851
And I was wrong.
1519
01:10:03,951 --> 01:10:05,586
We were wrong, too.
1520
01:10:05,687 --> 01:10:07,220
-Mm.
-Big hug?
1521
01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:08,556
-Oh, yeah.
-Big hug.
1522
01:10:08,656 --> 01:10:09,957
Family hug.
1523
01:10:10,058 --> 01:10:11,125
And so the twins
1524
01:10:11,224 --> 01:10:12,894
finally got the family
1525
01:10:12,994 --> 01:10:14,696
they never knew they wanted.
1526
01:10:21,869 --> 01:10:23,604
They even decidedto move in together,
1527
01:10:23,705 --> 01:10:26,774
to a little shitboxon the Lower East Side.
1528
01:10:33,047 --> 01:10:34,347
No.
1529
01:10:34,448 --> 01:10:35,950
No, I don't want...
1530
01:10:36,784 --> 01:10:37,852
Whatever.
1531
01:10:37,952 --> 01:10:39,921
No, not me. I can't.
1532
01:10:43,290 --> 01:10:45,760
-Craig, what's wrong?
-Trevor, what's wrong?
1533
01:10:45,860 --> 01:10:47,494
I was having a nightmare.
1534
01:10:47,595 --> 01:10:49,731
-A nightmare I was gay.
-Me, too.
1535
01:10:49,831 --> 01:10:52,265
I was having a gay nightmare,
and I was gay in it.
1536
01:10:52,365 --> 01:10:54,736
Oh, come here. I got you.
1537
01:10:54,836 --> 01:10:57,138
-You're not gay.
-You're not gay either.
1538
01:10:57,237 --> 01:10:58,606
I've got you.
1539
01:11:03,243 --> 01:11:04,444
Oh.
1540
01:11:04,545 --> 01:11:06,814
-What is it?
-I don't know.
1541
01:11:06,914 --> 01:11:10,084
I guess I just thought that if
I got everything I ever wanted
1542
01:11:10,184 --> 01:11:12,019
-I'd somehow feel...
-Complete?
1543
01:11:12,120 --> 01:11:14,387
Yeah, but I guess
I still feel...
1544
01:11:14,488 --> 01:11:16,624
-Empty inside?
-Yeah.
1545
01:11:16,724 --> 01:11:18,059
It's like I just wish
there was...
1546
01:11:18,159 --> 01:11:19,292
Someone who has gone through
1547
01:11:19,392 --> 01:11:20,327
exactly what you've
gone through
1548
01:11:20,427 --> 01:11:21,996
and know exactly how you feel?
1549
01:11:22,096 --> 01:11:23,865
Oh, my God,
1550
01:11:23,965 --> 01:11:25,566
I do have that person.
1551
01:11:25,666 --> 01:11:27,400
-That person is...
-Me.
1552
01:11:27,501 --> 01:11:30,238
No. I was gonna say "you."
1553
01:11:30,337 --> 01:11:33,641
But, Trevor,
when you say "you,"
1554
01:11:33,741 --> 01:11:35,442
it means "me."
1555
01:11:36,644 --> 01:11:37,945
I...
1556
01:11:38,045 --> 01:11:39,747
I love you, Craig.
1557
01:11:41,281 --> 01:11:43,283
I love you, too, Trevor.
1558
01:12:09,442 --> 01:12:11,378
Oh, yeah!
1559
01:12:16,584 --> 01:12:18,820
Aw, fuck!
1560
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:21,388
Oh, yeah! Oh!
1561
01:12:29,764 --> 01:12:32,967
What the fuck?
1562
01:12:40,107 --> 01:12:42,342
-Oh, my God.
-Oh, wow.
1563
01:12:44,612 --> 01:12:47,447
-That was so hot.
-That was so hot.
1564
01:12:47,548 --> 01:12:50,350
And easy. Everything made
sense and was comfortable.
1565
01:12:50,450 --> 01:12:52,053
Easy, easy.
1566
01:12:52,153 --> 01:12:54,055
-Anal's easy.
-Anal is easy.
1567
01:12:54,155 --> 01:12:56,057
It takes no practice to learn.
1568
01:12:56,157 --> 01:12:57,291
I didn't douche.
Did you douche?
1569
01:12:57,390 --> 01:12:59,260
I didn't. No. I don't know
what douching is.
1570
01:12:59,392 --> 01:13:00,628
Yeah.
1571
01:13:03,231 --> 01:13:04,665
So, then after cumming,
1572
01:13:04,765 --> 01:13:07,068
we laid there cuddling
all night.
1573
01:13:07,168 --> 01:13:09,036
-It was beautiful.
-I feel so lucky
1574
01:13:09,136 --> 01:13:11,906
to have found the only person
in the whole world
1575
01:13:12,006 --> 01:13:14,075
who is as smart, awesome,
1576
01:13:14,175 --> 01:13:16,110
big-dicked, and smart as me.
1577
01:13:16,210 --> 01:13:17,645
And as fate would have it,
1578
01:13:17,745 --> 01:13:20,081
the person most like me
1579
01:13:20,181 --> 01:13:22,650
is my identical twin. Crazy.
1580
01:13:22,750 --> 01:13:24,384
-Crazy.
-It's crazy.
1581
01:13:24,484 --> 01:13:26,120
-It's crazy.
-Crazy.
1582
01:13:26,220 --> 01:13:27,387
-Babe, look at me.
-Yeah?
1583
01:13:27,487 --> 01:13:29,857
-It's crazy.
-I'm sorry, I just...
1584
01:13:29,957 --> 01:13:31,692
I find this so moving.
1585
01:13:32,459 --> 01:13:34,427
Okay, if anyone has any reason
1586
01:13:34,528 --> 01:13:36,429
this couple should not be wed,
1587
01:13:36,530 --> 01:13:38,398
speak now or forever
hold your...
1588
01:13:44,005 --> 01:13:46,107
This is not
what the Bible says.
1589
01:13:46,207 --> 01:13:47,708
What the fuck?
1590
01:13:47,808 --> 01:13:49,877
You do the math.
This don't work.
1591
01:13:49,977 --> 01:13:53,314
Stop, stop, stop,
you fucking assholes!
1592
01:13:53,413 --> 01:13:55,750
I command you.
1593
01:13:55,850 --> 01:13:59,186
-Why should we listen to you?
-Yeah!
1594
01:13:59,287 --> 01:14:03,057
Because I am God!
1595
01:14:20,274 --> 01:14:23,077
Now listen and listen good,
1596
01:14:23,177 --> 01:14:24,412
you self-righteous,
1597
01:14:24,512 --> 01:14:26,781
judgmental flops.
1598
01:14:26,881 --> 01:14:29,482
Two twin brothers
marrying each other,
1599
01:14:29,583 --> 01:14:31,352
it sounds like an abomination,
1600
01:14:31,451 --> 01:14:33,654
and yet, it's not.
1601
01:14:34,487 --> 01:14:37,658
Because love in all its forms,
1602
01:14:37,758 --> 01:14:41,595
is a divine thing
given to you by me,
1603
01:14:41,696 --> 01:14:44,699
who, again, is God.
1604
01:14:44,799 --> 01:14:47,500
But, Father,
they're fucking twins.
1605
01:14:47,601 --> 01:14:49,203
Is that Sister Tammy?
1606
01:14:49,737 --> 01:14:51,806
You shouldn't judge.
1607
01:14:51,906 --> 01:14:53,841
An apple a day
keeps the doctor away,
1608
01:14:53,941 --> 01:14:56,877
but cum ain't apples.
1609
01:14:56,978 --> 01:14:58,346
-Gross!
-Who is?
1610
01:14:58,446 --> 01:14:59,780
They are.
1611
01:14:59,880 --> 01:15:01,882
I don't do any
of that nasty stuff.
1612
01:15:01,983 --> 01:15:04,719
I only have procreative sex
with my wife.
1613
01:15:04,819 --> 01:15:06,787
-Yeah!
-Lights off, eyes closed,
1614
01:15:06,887 --> 01:15:08,656
just as you intended, my Lord.
1615
01:15:08,756 --> 01:15:11,959
Don't put that shit
on me, Steve.
1616
01:15:12,059 --> 01:15:14,829
Fucked up men, Yes, men,
1617
01:15:14,929 --> 01:15:17,497
took my words
and changed the meaning.
1618
01:15:17,598 --> 01:15:21,602
I mean, you sticking
your sloppy hard wiener
1619
01:15:21,702 --> 01:15:24,405
into your wife's wet hole?
1620
01:15:24,505 --> 01:15:26,407
That's disgusting, too.
1621
01:15:26,507 --> 01:15:28,743
Well, goddamn,
if he ain't right about that.
1622
01:15:28,843 --> 01:15:29,810
When he explained it
like that,
1623
01:15:29,910 --> 01:15:30,911
-I got it.
-I never thought of it
1624
01:15:31,012 --> 01:15:32,279
-in that way.
-I mean, it makes sense.
1625
01:15:32,380 --> 01:15:34,615
Look at these twins.
1626
01:15:34,715 --> 01:15:37,551
They're vile. Misogynists.
1627
01:15:37,651 --> 01:15:39,286
Pigs. Perverts.
1628
01:15:39,387 --> 01:15:42,223
-Depraved little sex pests...
-Okay, we get it, God.
1629
01:15:42,323 --> 01:15:43,891
Yeah, relax, God.
1630
01:15:44,692 --> 01:15:46,660
But they love themselves,
1631
01:15:46,761 --> 01:15:49,697
in every sense of the word.
1632
01:15:49,797 --> 01:15:52,233
That's why
I brought them together,
1633
01:15:52,333 --> 01:15:54,001
to teach you
1634
01:15:54,101 --> 01:15:56,837
that all love is love.
1635
01:15:57,972 --> 01:16:00,875
Damn, this story
ended up good.
1636
01:16:00,975 --> 01:16:05,146
Oh, fuck it, I'm putting
this one in the Bible.
1637
01:16:09,650 --> 01:16:11,118
Oh, Harris.
1638
01:16:12,420 --> 01:16:15,189
♪ We share a love ♪
1639
01:16:15,289 --> 01:16:18,259
♪ That can't be ignored ♪
1640
01:16:18,359 --> 01:16:20,761
♪ A love sent to us ♪
1641
01:16:20,861 --> 01:16:22,563
♪ From our holy fucking Lord ♪
1642
01:16:22,663 --> 01:16:24,298
This guy.
1643
01:16:24,398 --> 01:16:27,201
♪ I have no pussy ♪
1644
01:16:27,301 --> 01:16:30,304
♪ And I'm straight and gay ♪
1645
01:16:30,404 --> 01:16:32,807
♪ People may judge us ♪
1646
01:16:32,907 --> 01:16:39,380
♪ But this is what we'll say ♪
1647
01:16:39,480 --> 01:16:42,349
♪ All love is love ♪
1648
01:16:42,450 --> 01:16:45,352
♪ Even when it's ugly ♪
1649
01:16:45,453 --> 01:16:48,255
♪ All love is love ♪
1650
01:16:48,355 --> 01:16:51,325
♪ Even when it's wrong ♪
1651
01:16:51,425 --> 01:16:53,861
♪ All love is love ♪
1652
01:16:53,961 --> 01:16:58,899
♪ Like a woman who fucks menmade out of sand ♪
1653
01:16:58,999 --> 01:17:01,669
♪ All love is gross ♪
1654
01:17:01,769 --> 01:17:04,839
♪ But all love is love ♪
1655
01:17:04,939 --> 01:17:07,208
♪ You are my brother ♪
1656
01:17:07,308 --> 01:17:10,811
♪ My family, my kin ♪
1657
01:17:10,911 --> 01:17:13,447
♪ We share a bond ♪
1658
01:17:13,548 --> 01:17:16,717
♪ That comesfrom deep within ♪
1659
01:17:16,817 --> 01:17:18,752
♪ But our love has grown ♪
1660
01:17:18,853 --> 01:17:22,490
♪ Now it's ancientand divine ♪
1661
01:17:22,591 --> 01:17:25,025
♪ We'll fuckeach other's assholes ♪
1662
01:17:25,126 --> 01:17:31,832
♪ Till we can't tell yoursfrom mine ♪
1663
01:17:31,932 --> 01:17:34,835
♪ All love is love ♪
1664
01:17:34,935 --> 01:17:38,172
♪ Even when it's ugly ♪
1665
01:17:38,272 --> 01:17:40,741
♪ All love is love ♪
1666
01:17:40,841 --> 01:17:44,278
♪ Even when it's wrong ♪
1667
01:17:44,378 --> 01:17:46,113
♪ All love is love ♪
1668
01:17:46,213 --> 01:17:50,552
♪ Like a man who getsa blow job from a horse ♪
1669
01:17:50,651 --> 01:17:54,221
-Wow.
-♪ All love is gross ♪
1670
01:17:54,321 --> 01:17:57,258
♪ But all love is love ♪
1671
01:17:58,659 --> 01:18:00,027
-Oh!
-Oh!
1672
01:18:00,127 --> 01:18:03,130
I now pronounce
these twin brothers
1673
01:18:03,230 --> 01:18:04,431
legally married.
1674
01:18:09,270 --> 01:18:11,438
That's got to be a first.
That's got to be a first.
1675
01:18:12,306 --> 01:18:13,974
God loves all of you
1676
01:18:14,074 --> 01:18:16,410
because God is all of you.
1677
01:18:17,244 --> 01:18:19,346
God is man and woman.
1678
01:18:19,446 --> 01:18:21,849
God is Black and white.
1679
01:18:21,949 --> 01:18:24,151
God is straight and gay.
1680
01:18:24,251 --> 01:18:26,555
What, hold on, what?
You're gay?
1681
01:18:26,655 --> 01:18:27,955
Yeah, obviously...
1682
01:18:28,055 --> 01:18:29,890
...amongst other things,
but my point is that...
1683
01:18:29,990 --> 01:18:32,159
No, totally, we hear you.
God is gay.
1684
01:18:33,794 --> 01:18:38,499
♪ All love is loveAll love is love ♪
1685
01:18:38,600 --> 01:18:40,801
♪ God is a faggot ♪
1686
01:18:40,901 --> 01:18:42,436
♪ And all love is love ♪
1687
01:18:42,537 --> 01:18:43,672
That's not exactly my point.
1688
01:18:43,771 --> 01:18:48,275
♪ All love is loveAll love is love ♪
1689
01:18:48,375 --> 01:18:53,214
♪ God is a faggotand all love is love ♪
1690
01:18:53,314 --> 01:18:57,952
♪ All love is loveAll love is love ♪
1691
01:18:58,052 --> 01:19:02,323
♪ God is a faggotand all love is love ♪
1692
01:19:02,423 --> 01:19:03,457
Everybody!
1693
01:19:04,825 --> 01:19:06,060
Sing along!
1694
01:19:07,361 --> 01:19:08,362
Can't hear you.
1695
01:19:09,631 --> 01:19:11,031
You're a bigot!
1696
01:19:12,866 --> 01:19:14,935
-♪ All love is love ♪
-That's what I said.
1697
01:19:15,035 --> 01:19:16,870
-♪ All love is love ♪
-Even incest.
1698
01:19:16,971 --> 01:19:18,872
-♪ All love is love ♪
-Love a fruit.
1699
01:19:18,973 --> 01:19:20,007
♪ All love is love ♪
1700
01:19:20,107 --> 01:19:22,042
-Hallelujah!
-♪ All love is love ♪
1701
01:19:22,142 --> 01:19:23,944
-♪ All love is love ♪-♪ All love is love ♪
1702
01:19:24,044 --> 01:19:25,112
♪ All love is love ♪
1703
01:19:25,212 --> 01:19:26,947
-♪ All love is love ♪-♪ Oh ♪
1704
01:19:27,047 --> 01:19:29,016
-♪ All love is love ♪-♪ God is a faggot ♪
1705
01:19:29,116 --> 01:19:31,118
-♪ All love is love ♪-♪ Sing God is a faggot ♪
1706
01:19:31,218 --> 01:19:33,688
-♪ All love is love ♪-♪ Oh, God is a faggot ♪
1707
01:19:33,787 --> 01:19:34,822
-♪ All love is love ♪-♪ Yeah ♪
1708
01:19:34,922 --> 01:19:36,390
♪ All love is love ♪
1709
01:19:36,490 --> 01:19:37,659
Yay, yeah!
1710
01:19:43,665 --> 01:19:45,266
Check out
the New New Testament.
1711
01:19:45,366 --> 01:19:46,735
Coming this Christmas.
1712
01:19:46,834 --> 01:19:49,604
♪ And all love
1713
01:19:49,704 --> 01:19:52,707
♪ Is love ♪
1714
01:20:01,716 --> 01:20:04,485
The end.
1715
01:20:11,825 --> 01:20:13,494
-Surprise!
-Surprise!
1716
01:20:13,595 --> 01:20:15,530
Oh, I looked
right into camera.
1717
01:20:24,572 --> 01:20:26,541
It doesn't really go in there.
1718
01:20:28,576 --> 01:20:30,010
-Spit it?
-Yeah.
1719
01:20:40,487 --> 01:20:42,156
Yes, we can.
1720
01:20:49,863 --> 01:20:52,399
Uh, whatever. Y'all fucked up.
1721
01:20:55,637 --> 01:20:58,807
Kids, listen, we love you, but
1722
01:20:58,906 --> 01:21:03,477
we will never... get married.
1723
01:21:05,412 --> 01:21:06,480
Mom?
1724
01:21:12,186 --> 01:21:14,254
Let's go home
and discuss it, eh?
1725
01:21:14,355 --> 01:21:16,691
Let's go home
and get in the bed
1726
01:21:16,791 --> 01:21:18,459
and discuss it in my puss.
1727
01:21:22,363 --> 01:21:24,833
...if you do what
we want and get married.
1728
01:21:24,932 --> 01:21:27,134
Oh, for fuck's sake.
1729
01:21:27,234 --> 01:21:28,369
Eat me.
1730
01:21:33,006 --> 01:21:34,942
Tiddles. Titties. Craig.
1731
01:21:35,042 --> 01:21:37,277
Trevor Brock.
My two top salesmen.
1732
01:21:37,378 --> 01:21:39,647
I feel like it says "Titties."
I keep forgetting.
1733
01:21:52,426 --> 01:21:55,896
Of all the humiliations
I've had in show business,
1734
01:21:55,996 --> 01:21:57,331
and they are legion,
1735
01:21:57,431 --> 01:22:00,134
this may be the most
humiliating moment...
1736
01:22:00,234 --> 01:22:02,403
...I've ever had.
1737
01:22:12,747 --> 01:22:14,081
Set.
1738
01:22:15,617 --> 01:22:17,217
My prize pig.
1739
01:22:17,317 --> 01:22:18,653
I wanna be a prize pig.
1740
01:22:18,753 --> 01:22:19,920
Hey, baby,
1741
01:22:20,020 --> 01:22:22,891
you could be a prize pig
in my bed when I fuck you.
1742
01:22:28,663 --> 01:22:30,632
Okay.
1743
01:22:32,399 --> 01:22:33,934
Oh, my God.
1744
01:22:35,068 --> 01:22:37,404
Oh, my God.
1745
01:22:37,504 --> 01:22:41,308
I am the lady, the bitch,
the boss, rich...
1746
01:22:41,408 --> 01:22:43,043
Don't put a gender
on my title.
1747
01:22:43,143 --> 01:22:44,846
Yeah, and, lady,
I'm Craig, so...
1748
01:22:44,945 --> 01:22:47,080
Lady? Yes, um, well...
1749
01:22:47,181 --> 01:22:48,850
I forgot what the fuck
I was supposed to say.
1750
01:22:51,018 --> 01:22:52,620
Oh, this time,
let's improvise.
1751
01:22:52,720 --> 01:22:54,689
Oh, God, no.
1752
01:22:54,789 --> 01:22:56,356
That's-that's bad.
1753
01:22:56,457 --> 01:22:58,760
'Cause then it's just
a lot of potty talk.
1754
01:22:58,860 --> 01:23:00,829
-Mom!
-Dad!
1755
01:23:00,929 --> 01:23:02,530
-Dad?
-Mommy!
1756
01:23:02,630 --> 01:23:03,598
Cut!
1757
01:23:05,299 --> 01:23:07,167
I hope he's a big macho guy
like me.
1758
01:23:07,267 --> 01:23:10,103
Um, yeah, listen, I would love
to talk about that, obviously,
1759
01:23:10,204 --> 01:23:12,507
but this is actually Mom's
house, so I got to go now.
1760
01:23:12,607 --> 01:23:13,608
Oh, God!
1761
01:23:15,743 --> 01:23:17,779
Okay, bye-bye.
1762
01:23:17,879 --> 01:23:19,012
Yeah, that's good,
but I think
1763
01:23:19,112 --> 01:23:21,181
also maybe a little more
open-handed, if possible.
1764
01:23:21,281 --> 01:23:22,382
-Okay.
-Yeah, like that.
1765
01:23:22,483 --> 01:23:23,952
-That's good. Okay, good.
-Yeah. Oh, God.
1766
01:23:24,051 --> 01:23:25,152
-Thank you.
-Oh, God.
1767
01:23:25,252 --> 01:23:26,521
-Ugh. God...
-Oh, God.
1768
01:23:26,621 --> 01:23:27,856
Open-handed pussy.
1769
01:23:35,162 --> 01:23:37,632
Hop on.
1770
01:23:37,732 --> 01:23:38,967
Yeah, get right under here,
1771
01:23:39,066 --> 01:23:40,635
-you'll feel much better.
-Okay.
1772
01:23:40,735 --> 01:23:42,102
-Oh. Oh.
-Oh!
1773
01:23:45,573 --> 01:23:47,441
Shh.
1774
01:23:52,514 --> 01:23:54,983
Shh.
1775
01:23:55,082 --> 01:23:56,918
-♪ I loved a girl some... ♪
-Shh.
1776
01:24:00,788 --> 01:24:03,725
Single-parent families
are not homes, that's true.
1777
01:24:03,825 --> 01:24:06,193
Single-parent homes
are not families, that's true.
1778
01:24:06,293 --> 01:24:09,463
Single-parent families are not
homes, that's true. Fuck!
1779
01:24:13,233 --> 01:24:16,771
That's-that's my other
autobiography title.
1780
01:24:16,871 --> 01:24:18,873
"Fresh bag of ham."
1781
01:24:18,973 --> 01:24:22,544
No! No!
1782
01:24:22,644 --> 01:24:24,512
No!
1783
01:24:25,379 --> 01:24:28,048
Surprise, I'm in this movie.
1784
01:24:30,083 --> 01:24:33,855
♪ I do want ♪
1785
01:24:33,955 --> 01:24:36,423
♪ More... ♪
1786
01:24:36,524 --> 01:24:39,861
Sorry.
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
1787
01:24:39,961 --> 01:24:41,729
And cut.
1788
01:26:09,282 --> 01:26:13,253
♪ It's a gay old life ♪
1789
01:26:13,353 --> 01:26:18,893
-♪ Being queer ♪-♪ I have no pussy ♪
131978
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