Original subtitles

I'm going to jump down spin around, pick a fail-cut, I'm going to jump down spin around,

fail day, jump down spin around, pick a fail day, I'm going to jump down spin around, pick a fail day,

I'm going to jump down spin around, pick a fail day, I'm going to jump down spin around, pick a fail-cut,

pick a fail day, I'm going to jump down spin around, pick a fail day, I'm going to jump down spin around,

pick a fail day, jump down spin around, pick a fail day, I'm going to jump down spin around, pick a fail day,

I'm going to jump spin a fail-cut, I'm going to jump down spin around, pick a fail day, I'm going to jump down spin around,

John, good to you.

Howdy.

Good morning.

Morning.

Mighty nice day.

Yes, it is.

Might not ask a personal question.

No.

Well, um, what are you doing up in the tree?

Oh, well, the baby bird, it fell out.

Have you thought about how you're

going to get down out of the tree?

Down?

Oh, well, I, uh...

Um...

Here, let me help you.

I'll give you the little hand.

You gotta trust me, baby.

Get your hands off my daughter!

Put it there!

Put it there!

I suggest you go about your business, young man.

Fair weather, friends.

That's all they are ever last one of them.

Well, since then, it's plowing time, and you can't expect far enough to come.

I have expected to have been ever since they passed that blasted whiskey tax.

Ever since I emptied that last cake of whiskey, there ain't been nobody in here but females.

Ben, you don't suppose they'd repeal that, they're full law, do you?

I was down to Salem in the day, and I hear folks talking about Congress.

Just might be changing their mind about that, their tax.

Yeah?

Howdy!

Morning!

I sure could use a drink.

We got you an apple cider, and that's all we got.

That's all right.

Nothing I like better than good apple cider.

I've seen that.

Is this, uh...

Boonsboro?

It sure is.

How about that?

I'm only a mile away.

I feel like Moses coming out of the wilderness.

One mile away from here is going into the wilderness, not out of it.

Where are you bound?

New Harmony Village.

To what?

You folks knew around here?

This is my tavern. I'm Cincinnati.

Jim McGill.

Mr. McGill.

I'm Ben.

I work around here.

Thank you.

Now what were you saying? The new what?

Oh, sir.

It says right here, the new Harmony Village.

Is there something wrong, Ben?

Where'd you get this?

Back home, outside of Williamsburg.

Did you pay money for it?

You might save my life savings.

Why?

Who sold it to you?

It says right here, an authorized agent of the Daniel Boone Land and Development Company.

So, what?

Daniel Boone Land and Development Company.

Look, there is a Daniel Boone, isn't there?

Oh, yes, there's a Daniel Boone, all right.

It's a complete swindle.

That's a fact.

Yeah.

And a forgery.

Reckon so?

Well, I don't know.

We'll have to do something.

We.

It's your land and development company.

It ain't ours.

A friend and a.

I don't know what to say, Jimmy.

It's just nothing.

I've been carrying this thing for a good long 300 miles, Mr. Boone.

Keeping it dry and all kinds of weather.

Every time I camp, I read the print, clear off the page.

You might even say I know it by heart.

But no.

That's your name, right?

So, Snaps, you got a quitter on here someplace.

Right over here, Daniel?

Jimmy, this is my signature.

Why?

Do you ever see anybody so prime, first class A number one stupid?

Not lately, anyway.

How did you ever believe all of that, anyway?

What did I say here?

Two-room cabin and cleared land and Indian servants.

How come you left that part out about the blue-eyed, curly-headed blonde wife, huh?

Oh, no.

You didn't read the small print.

I need to rub it in, Ben.

I guess I got it coming.

What would I dream?

I really dream, don't I?

I don't suppose there'd be any chance of finding the swindler who...

Not likely to be waiting around for me.

Thanks anyway, Mr. Boone.

Jimmy?

Better go see if I can find a waiter in my supper.

Well, here's your man.

Yeah, that is a strange, little battle.

Yeah.

You know, he's not your responsibility, Daniel.

Oh, I know it, Daniel.

It took like a man, didn't it?

He ate it.

Put yourself in his place.

I sure wouldn't mind.

What is Rebecca cooking up for supper, anyway?

Always thinking about your stuff.

Yeah.

Daniel's blue was a man.

Yes, a big man.

With a knife like a nickel and a stall as a mountain was he.

Daniel Boone was a man.

Yes, a big man.

He was brave.

He was fearless and a stump as a mighty old tree.

From the coon skin cap on the top of old band to the heel of his raw high chew.

The ripenest, rawr and the spindest man.

The front tier ever knew.

So, Daniel Boone was a man.

Yes, a big man.

And he fought for America to make all Americans free.

What a fool!

What a fool!

What a fool!

What a fool!

What a fool!

Sylvia said she loved me.

Now I know she lied.

She hasn't been to see me.

Since the last day of July.

Bring me little waters.

Oh, bring me little water now.

She hasn't been to see me.

Since the last day of July.

It's up, Robie.

Ready in a minute.

I'm sure we should play one of those.

Maybe you can.

All he needs is a head for music.

How do you know?

How do you know what?

You've got a head for music.

That's just the trouble.

Sometimes you don't know whether you can do something to you.

Fall on your face a couple of times.

Becky, you know that nice piece of land we have over on Bluebird Ridge.

Listen, you're going to have to stop reading my mind.

Why is my favorite form of entertainment?

Makes me itch.

Well, you can take a nice bath on the creek on your way over there in the morning.

Jimmy, come in here.

It's good soil, Mr. Bold.

A man couldn't ask for any better.

And all this.

Well, this is about the prettiest place I've ever seen.

But I've got no money to do.

I've got no money to do.

I've got no money to pay you for it.

Daniel Boone, land and development company.

Well, you don't have to pay me right now.

You can pay me a little in time.

Whenever you get ahead.

I'm pretty sure Cincinnati's would give you credit for seeds and supplies.

It's yours, Tim T.

Tell you what.

Let's go see Cincinnati's right now.

No, Surrey.

I ain't hanging that thing in my tavern and that is final.

I was told you'd seen the life, Cincinnati's.

You aren't selling any whiskey, are you?

You can just stop that smurkin at me, Amos Brown.

If I ain't selling any whiskey, it ain't because of your pits of hell.

It's because of that dead, blam, whiskey tax.

Well, it's a comfort to know that the Congress is there to place a restraining hand on the arm of the Intemperate.

If there was one thing I thought I'd get out of all this,

is not listening to one of your fool lectures.

Oh, now all due respects to you, Miss Charity, that is one of the finest jobs of sampling make and I've ever seen.

But this is a tavern.

And I am a tavern keeper.

And you know what the first job of a tavern keeper is?

Have you selected what you want, daughter?

Yes, Father.

It is selling whiskey.

How much?

Oh, $1.50.

Oh, howdy, Cincinnati.

Channel.

How are you?

Hey, Jimmy.

Amos, Mr. Brown would like you to meet your new neighbor, Jimmy McGill.

Neighbor?

Mr. Brown farms the other half of Blueburg Ridge.

Yes, we met on the trail yesterday.

But we were introduced.

Oh, and this is Miss Charity Brown.

Do you mean this young man has purchased that land?

Well, Amos, we've entered into sort of a long-term arrangement.

Well, I guess it makes it all complete.

I beg your pardon.

Well, I just said I found out the prettiest girl I ever saw lives on Blueburg Ridge.

Do you have a family, Mr. McGill, a wife?

No, no, sir.

No, I'm by myself.

Perhaps, Father...

Yes?

Perhaps Mr. McGill would like to take his meals with us until he gets settled, since we're his closest neighbors.

I'm sure Mr. McGill can fend for himself.

Come along, Charity.

But on the other hand, you might like to join us for Sunday services.

I sure would like that, sir.

Good.

Mr. Samuel Stone will be with us.

Charity is betrothed.

Father?

Yes, daughter.

Why did you say that Samuel Stone was my betrothed?

Because he soon will be.

But I don't like Mr. Stone.

Don't be foolish, child.

Samuel Stone is an upstanding, God-fearing young man.

How can you not like him?

He... he never smiles.

If Samuel isn't frivolous, it's because he spends a good deal of his time wrestling with the devil.

Father...

Besides, he's a very prosperous farmer.

I'm not getting any younger.

I will never consent to you, or marrying anyone who could not take care of you.

It's the last promise I made to your dear mother.

I had so arrested peace.

Wouldn't Mother have wanted me to be happy?

I know she would not have liked this unseemly discussion.

Yes, Father.

There you are.

Oh.

Oh.

Drat that Amos Brown.

He left that thing here on purpose. I know he did.

That's kind of pretty.

The charity's still, sir.

I hope you ain't one of these demon rum folks, too.

Oh, no.

I just think folks are entitled to their feelings.

You know, since it has gone take me about a hundred years to pay you back for all of this.

Wouldn't say that long, Jimmy.

You do a little trappin' in the winter like the other folks around these parts, and we'll likely be squared up in a couple years.

You don't need money much around here anyway.

Jimmy, it's fishin' the stream, game in the woods.

You go almost everything else you need.

Well, almost everything.

You forgot this.

I thought I'd just drop it by.

Oh, my. Thank you very much.

Mr. Brown, you were a very nice house.

Thank you.

You seem to be a very sensible young man, Mr. McGill.

Well, thank you, sir.

So it should be easy to make you see things clearly.

Charity is spoken to by the young man.

You're a very nice house.

Thank you.

You seem to be a very sensible young man, Mr. McGill.

Well, thank you, sir.

So it should be easy to make you see things clearly.

Charity is spoken for.

But even if she weren't.

Well, I take it that mule is the sum total of your worldly goods.

I may not have many worldly goods, Mr. Brown, but I do have a good pair of ears.

You all feel free to drop by my house anytime?

What house?

That's right.

Billy, I forgot. I don't have one, yes.

So long.

And that, my dear daughter, is that.

Unless I have raised you for 17 years to suddenly find that you have become disobedient.

No, Father.

Let's go.

You don't suppose Mrs. Samuel Stone will be allowed to have a looking glass either, do you?

Mr. Charity Brown, you are a sinful young woman.

You must strive harder for perfection.

Oh, Mr. Stone, it was just the teeny, weeniest little smile.

I hope I shall prove worthy of your confidence, Mr. Brown.

As you know, I'm always striving for perfection.

I'm aware of that, Samuel.

And that's why I feel that you and Charity should be married sooner than we discussed.

Well, I trust that she hasn't strayed from the path in some way, sir.

She is my daughter, but she is a female, and as such, a frail vessel at best.

Well, the sudden haste wouldn't have anything to do with a young man who just purchased the other half of your hollow from Daniel.

Boom, would it?

Who can tell what disguise the devil may assume next Samuel?

Now, suppose we work out the details, and then we'll have my daughter join us.

Dear Lord, I've always tried to be your faithful servant, and I'll always do the very best I can.

I'll marry Samuel Stone tomorrow if that's what father says, because I do honor my father.

I do.

Just let me have one hour, Lord.

One hour of...

One hour of what, Charity Brown?

Maybe he is the devil in disguise.

The dowry, of course, will remain the same.

I was hoping we could discuss the matter of Mrs. Brown's...

...may her soul rest in peace, silver.

Then what did you have in mind?

Well, naturally enough, I assume that since Charity is your only child that you wanted to bring the silver into her own home, to pass on to her own offspring.

I'm sorry.

Adi.

I thought you might like some bread. I just baked it.

No, wait a minute.

Now, why don't you stay and share it with me?

Well, it's not seemingly.

I guess I wouldn't be right.

I knew.

I was just trying to be, um, navelry, not familiar.

Well, of course. I understand.

Out here on the frontier, a person has certain obligations to new settlers. But only so far, don't you think?

Well, definitely.

As a matter of fact, since I am new in the area, I'd appreciate some of your views on that subject.

For example, you could tell me about some of my neighbors.

Now, I've met Mr. Boone, and I was kin, Ben, Cincinnati, you and your father.

And, uh, well, I just think a fellow should know more about his neighbors, don't you?

Yes, I suppose so.

For example, tell me about Mr. Samuel Stone. Just, for example, is he a real nice, neighborly typefellow?

Well, um...

Well, that's very interesting, Mr. Charity, but it's not very informative.

Well, you see...

Look, maybe you could talk a little bit if we went over and sat down, huh?

Well, maybe just for a minute.

Do you have to do that?

To do what?

Smile.

What's wrong with smiling?

Well, that's what the devil does. Everybody says so.

Why, he smiles.

Come on, that's the silliest thing I ever heard.

Well, how do you think he's going to do that?

Well, I'm not sure.

Because it just is! Smiling is a perfectly natural thing!

It was like grass growing.

Why don't you try it?

Father would be ever so annoyed.

Well, come on, just one little smile.

I'll thank you to remember, I'm only staying here to help you get settled, Mr. McGill.

I'll have nothing to do with any frivolity.

No more smiling.

I'm not sure.

I just want to do that.

I just got a little riled up when your father said it was a little too late.

Well, what were you saying?

No, you were telling me about all my neighbors.

Oh, yes, yes. Mr. Samuel Stone.

Father just doped on him.

You mean on his money?

I am leaving right now.

Don't do that.

I didn't mean what I said.

I just got a little riled up when your father said it was a little too late.

I didn't mean what I said. I just got a little riled up when your father said...

But he talked about the sum total of my worldly goods.

Well, he's just looking after my welfare.

I know, but what about you?

I don't understand.

Well, your welfare is one thing.

But you're another.

I still don't understand.

Look, if I had a canary bird and I was concerned about his welfare,

I probably would put him in a cage and then I'd be sure that he'd be fed and watered and everything.

Now, but if I really cared about that canary bird himself...

Well, that's another matter altogether.

Well, then what would you do?

Well, if you were a canary bird, what would you want to do?

Sing and fly around?

Right. Now you got it.

Now you got it.

But I'm not a canary bird.

Maybe not, but you got some awful pretty feathers.

Why don't you take that off?

See, I told you you could smile.

Please?

What if I ran up behind you and just grabbed it off?

I crossed my heart and you'd just disappear in a puff of smoke.

You give me back my bonnet this instant, you devil you.

Well, if you really thought I was a devil, you'd be a little more scared.

I am so scared that...

Oh, no, you're not.

What?

And I'm real pleased to meet you too, Mr. Stone.

We're just talking about you.

Get up.

What?

What for?

The hand of the righteous is what you need.

I don't know what that's going to prove.

Start packing after the lungs.

What for?

Because you're going to be off this land before the day is out.

I don't know how you're going to man.

It's that, Mr. Stone.

I like it here.

Now, daughter.

Well, there doesn't have to be so soon.

Three months isn't too soon.

Now, daughter.

Father, does it have to be so soon?

Three months isn't too soon, my dear.

Have I ever done anything that wasn't in your best interest?

No.

And have you ever seen Samuel do anything that was un-Christian-like?

He punched Mr. McGill in a jar.

Well, you have to admit that the provocation was un-conversed.

Well, I'm not going to do anything that was un-conversed.

I'm not going to do anything that was un-conversed.

I'm not going to do anything that was un-conversed.

Well, you have to admit that the provocation was uncommon.

I suppose it was.

Now, I know that I am the most fortunate of fathers.

You could disobey me.

That seems to be the way with children these days.

But you're a sweet and reasonable girl.

Thank you, Father.

Now, why do you think I want you to marry Samuel?

Because I worship riches?

Because he is a godly man, I suppose, Father?

Partly.

But that young man in the woods back there, he too might well be a godly man.

I don't understand.

It's very simple, really.

The wilderness is a killer of women.

Hard work, child-bearing.

Sometimes a settler's wife may offer luck 60 when she's only 30.

It was my struggle against this land that killed your mother.

And I've sworn that the same will never happen to you.

Now do you understand?

Yes, Father.

And will I hear you singing at your work once more?

I will try.

Good girl.

Father?

Yes.

Since it's all been settled,

does Samuel have to drive Mr. McGill off of his land?

Does it mean so much to you?

No.

But he hasn't done anything.

It's really not your concern. Is it dear?

Samuel, I'm afraid I've already sold that land.

You mean papers have already been signed?

No, but I've given my word.

Well, I'll give you a little more.

I'll give you a little more.

Samuel, I'm afraid I've already sold that land.

You mean papers have already been signed?

No, but I've given my word.

Well, I'll give you twice the price.

You don't seem to understand what I said. I said I'd given my word.

Three times the price.

Samuel, you don't need that land.

Jimmy McGill does.

I'm not concerned with that person's needs. I'm making you a business proposition.

And I'm turning you down.

I'm going away for to stay a little while.

But I'm coming back if I go ten thousand miles.

Oh, who will show your fault?

Oh, who will show your fault?

Oh, who will glove your hand?

Oh, who will kiss your ruby lips when I am gone?

To the promised land?

Oh, it's me who'll show your fault.

It's me who'll glove your hand.

And it's me who'll kiss your ruby lips when I am gone.

To the promised land?

I'm going away for to stay a little while.

But I'm coming back if I go ten thousand miles.

I'm going to take you ten years to clear the land at this rate.

I know it.

Hey, just what did you do to Samuel Stone anyway?

I kissed Charity Brown on the cheek.

Why? He tried to buy your note last night from Dannel.

Offered him two, three times the price for it.

He didn't sell it to him.

No, Dannel wouldn't do a thing like that.

Doesn't matter anyway, I guess.

Hey, would you mind standing up? I want to kick you into pains.

What for? Because I feel like it. That's what's for.

I guess I deserve that, don't I? You're darn right.

Listen, there ain't nothing standing between you and Miss Charity Brown that you can't earn in ten or twenty years of backbreaking labor.

I better get to work then.

Hey, you another axe?

Sure do.

Give you hand.

Hey Ben. Yeah.

Why would you think about a fellow abandoning his principles?

It depends on the principles.

Well, suppose it was for a just cause.

Well, bam.

Depending on the cause.

I very much help, you know that.

What are you thinking now?

I'm about to break a solemn vow.

You want to come?

No, sir. I can't let you do it. It just ain't legal.

Since then, Naddis, whatever do you mean?

What have I asked for that was illegal?

Look, some sugar, some yeast, and some kettle's wire sounds downright wholesome to me.

Do you think I was born yesterday?

Sometimes it pays for a fellow to pretend like he was.

Why don't you just come out and tell me what you mean?

Since you were just born yesterday, you wouldn't understand anything I would say in any way.

Now, would you?

Since then, Naddis, it sure is lonely around here.

All right.

Sugar, some yeast, and your kettle's wire.

I didn't ask for that.

Well, you never know what an old whiskey cake might come in handy.

I ain't got no use for it, that's for sure.

I don't know. What do you think, Ben?

Oh, they'd be nice to put some flowers in it.

Since then, Naddis.

I'll plant some nice flowers in it, and when they're growing real good, I'll bring it on back,

and you can sort of use it to dress up the place.

Jimmy, I can't tell you how happy that makes me.

Hey, you sure you know what you're doing?

Of course I do.

Well, then, give it in. I'll give you a hand.

Ben, I don't know whether you even ought to be here.

Like, since Naddis says it's illegal.

It ain't illegal to make this stuff.

It's illegal to make it sell it and not pay the tax.

I don't plan on paying the tax.

I can't make any money that way.

And you're aiming on gold and jail.

No.

I'm aiming to marry Miss Tarity Brown.

You sure are a hard fellow to figure out.

You know that.

What do you mean?

What you come marched into Boone's borough, like one of them everyday farm boys with that worthless deed.

And next thing, you know, you're engaging in the manufacture of whiskey.

And your court and Miss Tarity Brown, who happens to be the truck to the richest fellow in these parts.

And then you're talking about broken vows and all that.

I guess it does to you, my peculiar.

Unless you knew about Paul.

What about Paul?

He died.

Mighty unusual.

Well, it wasn't a way.

Because it was the whiskey tax that killed him.

The whiskey tax.

Yeah, broke his heart, I figured.

Right there in his death pad, I vowed that I wasn't going to follow in his footsteps.

What footsteps?

Paul made the best whiskey in all of Virginia.

Folks used to come for miles around.

Why don't there be anything wrong with that?

Well, he was a regular slave to it.

And so was Ma and us youngins.

And so when he died and left me some money, I swore I was going to buy a farm and raise some grain so that folks could make bread with it and not make the pop skull.

Then you met Miss Tarity Brown.

Not quite.

First I met those fellows from the Daniel Boone Land and Development Company.

That's it, I guess.

You don't make any more sense than this thing does.

Oh, no.

It'll work.

It'll work, all right.

All I need now is some money.

All I need now is some corn from the Indians.

There are Indians around here, aren't they?

Indians, you can't make whiskey with Indian corn?

Why not?

Grain is grain.

All right, you're the expert.

You don't want any help.

No, I have been.

I need you to leave me to the Indians.

Well, besides another thing, when I run my first batch, I'll be really grateful if you'd come by and taste it for me.

You mean you don't know what this stuff is supposed to taste like, even?

Never touch the stuff.

Another one of your solemn vows, I suppose.

No, I just don't like the taste.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

Lightin Mike SalNet and L.

Did you know that the

Come on, you look awful.

Take a couple.

Smells like whiskey.

Of course it smells like whiskey.

Taste it.

I'm sure that's a real sensible thing to do, Jim.

Look, Ben, Charity Brown is going

to marry Samuel Stone next Sunday.

Jimmy, even if you had liquid sunshine in here,

you ain't going to make enough money off of it

to stop that wedding by Sunday.

Will you just taste it?

Simpson at us.

Come on.

I'm coming.

You hold your horses.

Get a big night's sleep.

I'll come in just a minute.

Now hold on.

Ben, what are you doing here?

Shut up, old fool.

Get me a mop.

Pretty similar than night.

What are you got there?

I've got you a barrel of flowers.

A barrel of flowers?

Yeah.

Shut up and drink that now.

Don't look like it's trouble.

Well, there he is, and there ain't.

If you're not too busy, David,

we'd like to talk with you a minute.

Well, I don't reckon you can sit or sleep in.

That's being too busy.

Ben, just come on over here.

What's in mind earlier, Ben?

More like late than early.

I take it.

It's important that I take a drink this right now.

It is.

Where'd you get it?

Unbelievable, ain't it?

You'll never guess what it's made out of.

All right.

What is it made out of?

Indian corn.

Indian corn?

I suppose that's possible, but we're...

Jimmy McGill.

Brought it from Virginia.

No, he made it right up there on Bluebird Ridge.

Himself.

Here, I thought he was a farmer.

Well, he is, but he's got this prop.

Ben, you tell him.

Jimmy, you didn't even taste it.

That's right.

He hates the stuff.

He made it for Miss Charity Brown.

Charity Brown.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Maybe I'm still asleep.

Charity Brown?

Well, yeah.

You don't know that Miss Charity Brown is going to be there.

But Miss Charity Brown is going to marry Samuel Stone next Sunday.

You know, it's her paw that's again her like in Jimmy.

If Jimmy ever had any money, she would have had her paw that might look at things a little bit different.

That's the only problem.

Jimmy's got an Omelet.

That's why he made this still up there in the hill.

I see.

You like it so much?

You marry Samuel Stone.

I know.

I know.

What other man would send all the way to Boston for regular Paris France silk for his girl's wedding dress?

I mean, but I'm only thinking of your best interest, my dear.

You have nothing to do but fancy stitching and you'll spend your evenings watching Samuel strive for perfection.

What do you say?

I say it'd be so much fun with the devil.

What would he want with a wife?

Why don't we take this wedding dress and give it to some poor deserving orphan?

Go away.

Nope.

Will you please go away this instant?

Why don't you scream?

Just exactly. What is it you want, Mr. McGill?

I want you to call me Jimmy.

In the middle of the night?

It's good a time to start, isn't it?

Are you going to leave or am I going to have to...

Scream?

We've been through that.

Well then, just what is it you want, Mr....

Jimmy.

Jimmy.

I want you to come over here and give me a kiss.

What?

You heard me? Do you want me to leave?

What, I certainly do.

One kiss. Off I go.

I'm sorry.

Do you have any special reason for tormenting me?

I only came to tell you that you're not going to marry Samuel Stone on Sunday.

What do you mean?

Because you're going to marry me.

But...

Don't worry. By Sunday, I'll be rich.

Wait, how are you going to...

Do you want a wicked father?

You can't do it.

You be late? I know he will.

You don't reckon he got lost?

Lost?

Daddlebone has been blazing trails, cleared a Mississippian further.

You don't reckon he's going to get lost going to the next county, do you?

All due respect. Even Christopher Columbus got lost.

I...

Don't bother sensing that. You won't listen to anybody.

I can't wait much longer, Mr Stone.

I'm sure there will be a longer record.

Jimmy?

Jimmy?

Jimmy?

Are you ready, Duffer?

Charity?

Charity, do you know what time it is?

In Heaven's name, where have you been?

I...

I was just looking around for the last time, Father.

But you'll be your off on my dear.

Yes, but it won't be the same, will it?

Oh, come, child. You don't want to be late to your own wedding, do you?

No. No, Father.

Come, let's go.

Oh, no.

Charity, you will please let us pass, Mr. McGill.

Oh!

It just ain't like Donald.

He should have been here. I told you it wouldn't make it.

Do you, Samuel, take this woman, Charity, to be your lawful wedded wife, to love, honor, and obey, in sickness or health, till death do you part?

I do.

And do you, Charity, take this man, Samuel, for your lawful wedded husband, to love, honor, and obey, in sickness or health, until death do you part?

I do.

If there be any man here who knows any reason why these two should not be joined together in holy matrimony, let him speak now.

Or forever, hold his peace.

Excuse me, Reverend, for breaking in this way, but when I think I have something to add to this occasion.

Who's that man with Daniel?

I don't know.

You know a reason why these two should not be joined together in holy matrimony?

We've, uh, come to offer, Mr. Charity, a choice, before it's too late.

I'll thank you, Daniel, to sink your business at some other time.

Well, I'm afraid some of the time won't do, Samuel.

Uh, this is Thaddeus King, Reverend. He's the man with a choice.

Well, I have come to ask for Miss Brown's hand, on behalf of a young fellow, who has recently come into a considerable fortune.

I fail to see why another man's fortune is good cause for discontinuing this wedding.

I am Miss Brown's father, Mr. King. Perhaps you should explain yourself to me.

I'd be delighted, sir. The young fellow in question has yearned for your daughter from afar, sir.

And as I understand it, she has not found him lacking in qualities.

But, uh, little more than a puffer when he first cast adoring eyes upon her,

he set himself the task of making a fortune in order that he might aspire for her hand.

And he did it? Yes, indeed, he certainly did.

American ingenuity, together with the pangs of love.

It's a combination you can't keep down, sir.

You have, uh, evidence of this fortune, Mr. King? Yes, sir.

Well, it's difficult for me to believe that such an amount can come to such a young man in such a short length of time through honest activity.

Precisely, how did he come about this money?

Well, it is complicated, sir. But simply put, he has, um, invented a new use for Indian corn.

And as a grateful manufacturer, this is the least I could give him in return for the recipe, for the patent.

Well, I don't know.

Father, isn't it better to be rich and happy than rich and miserable?

What'd you say, Jim? A short prayer.

Well, he is an upstanding young man. And he is Godfearing.

You have my blessings, my dear.

Samuel, I'm sorry. Truly I am.

I'm sorry for what I said, Mr. Boone.

What? About Christopher Columbus.

Damn, you had us worried there for a while.

Well, it turned out all right, didn't it, Ben?

Yeah, it did.

You know, thought he was king. Nobody would like to.

Nothing I like better than a happy ending.

Well, I'd be a lot happier if they just get rid of this dad-blamed whiskey packs.

Well, that's it. They just did.

Oh, I tell you, they took the heart out of me when they passed that ridiculous tax.

But yesterday I get word that has been repealed, and dental here comes along with a jug of the best taste and whiskey in the world.

I tell you, it is our happiest day of my life.

I can just see millions of beautiful jug-suffles.

What are you going to call it, Thaddeus?

It doesn't matter. I'll think of something when I get home to Bourbon County.

To the Brighton Room.

To the Brighton Room.

Hey.