Original subtitles

Buddy, I said I was sorry.

I'm sorry, Renn!

God, are you just gonna punish me forever?

You are? Oh, my God.

That's so sad.

You left me.

I know. I know.

I thought you were right next to me.

I wasn't.

I know.

I was in the store.

I know.

And some old lady kept asking if I was lost,

and I kept saying no, but she kept asking,

and her breath smelled like batteries.

Double-A?

Hey, Renn.

I am so sorry.

That will never, ever happen again.

-You promise? -Pinkie.

I will never leave you in a store again.

You'll never leave me?

I'll never leave you.

-100%? -100%.

Okay.

I'll never leave.

I promise.

Renn.

She's gone.

Davis here. Yep. Mmm-hmm.

Okay. Cleveland.

-All right. Enjoy your flight. -Thank you.

All right. Next up.

Hey, it's me, again. Um, I'm just trying

to get in touch with you before you board.

There's a lot going on here right now,

so I could really use your help.

Hey, uh, Renn, it's Kevin.

Here's what I think.

I'm trying to promote you to supervisor.

It's a big honor.

Just take a few days. Think it over.

I'll call you, okay?

Hey, buddy. It's Dad. I'm tracking your flight in case

you change your mind about wanting me to pick you up.

Glad you're coming home.

Anything out there?

-Sorry? -Anything out there?

-No. -That's a bummer.

I was hoping for aliens or robots or robot-aliens.

You know what I mean?

Yeah. And here I was, relieved with nothing.

You're wanting this flight to be all quiet

and, well, me, someone who's afraid of flights,

really wants it to all just turn into a Michael Bay film.

What Michael Bay film?

Con Air, specifically.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, I don't... I don't think he directed that one,

-actually. -Hmm?

Okay. Well, yeah. It's still a great movie, so...

Con Air is a great movie.

Every action movie from the '90s is a great film.

-Okay, so you're afraid of flying. -Yes.

You think every action movie

-from the '90s is a great film? -Of course.

Yeah, I think this is going very well.

And yet, I know nothing about you.

Ask away.

Oh, you are gonna regret saying that.

I ask so many questions.

Okay, what kind of music do you listen to?

Dogs? Or should we just end this conversation right now?

And what do you do for a living?

Is Cleveland your final destination?

Are you from there? And what's your name?

Um... going in order, if I can remember them all.

Sad British pop music.

Dogs, of course.

I think they're better than people.

I'm... a writer.

Uh, I'm a born-and-raised Clevelander.

Um... And my name is Renn.

Your turn.

I am not from Cleveland.

And I'm going there for a work conference.

I'm Zoey.

Prepare for arrival.

I see you're, uh, taking in our beautiful Cleveland weather.

Yeah, this sucks.

Yeah.

That the Missus?

No, uh, it's my sister.

Oh. Home to see the family?

Uh, yeah...

-Ish... not really. -Okay?

All right, that's incredibly vague and makes me want

to ask you a million more questions, but...

um...

my car is here. So...

Yeah, well, um, you're new to the city.

If you need a restaurant recommend, I don't know.

Do you want to... We don't have to.

No. Give me your phone.

-Okay. -Yes.

I never know how to ask that.

No, it was smooth.

-Yeah. Very. -Yeah.

There you go.

See ya.

Do you mind taking the long way, please?

What?

The long way? To my destination,

if you don't mind.

It's a super weird thing to ask.

Kind of expensive, but yeah, sure, of course.

Just give me five stars.

Thanks.

-What? -Show me your hands.

Mom, did you steal the espresso spoon?

-What spoon? -The spoon you asked

the waitress for, for your espresso,

even though you didn't order an espresso.

-That one. -Oh, that one.

Yeah.

-What about it? -You cannot steal

espresso spoons from restaurants.

You know, they prepare for this. They stock up, the restaurants.

-What are you talking about? -They have extras.

In fact, they're happy when you steal them.

-They're happy about it? -Yep.

And why are they happy?

Because they need you to steal them.

They have too many.

Just too many.

-Yes. -They're running out of room.

Yeah, it makes a lot of sense when you put it like that.

You're like the Robin Hood of spoons.

-Yeah. -Great, well...

You're a kleptomaniac, so...

...I don't know what to tell you.

This is insane.

Stole a bunch of stuff again.

Oh, it's just a spoon, come on.

Smile.

-My mom's a criminal. Okay, let's go.

Yeah, one sec.

Yeah?

-Hey. -Hey.

I didn't hear you come in.

Yeah, no, I just... I just got in.

Uh, the ride took forever.

I would have come and gotten you.

You're probably busy and...

Dad was gonna get you.

Leigh, I... I'm good. Right? I'm here.

-So... -Okay.

-Are you okay? -What?

Are you okay?

Yeah.

I'm... I'm fine.

All right. I'll let you, um, settle in.

-Yeah. I'll just... -Yeah.

Um, I was thinking

we should probably aim to leave at 9:00 tomorrow

because we have a bunch of stuff to do.

-9:00. -9:00. Great.

Okay.

Happy you're home.

Good to see you.

-What am I talking about?

It's not in there.

The booze? The good stuff?

I moved it.

I would... I would have picked you up from the airport.

Oh, I know.

You like to take the long way.

So, how are you doing?

Yeah, fine.

How are you doing?

How am I doing?

Dad, come on, you were married to her for 15 years.

Don't you worry about me, okay? Let's focus on you.

How's work?

-Your place, your apartment? -Uh...

It's... I mean...

It's good, Dad. I mean... What's going on?

-What? -Mmm-mmm.

I feel like I'm failing you.

What do you mean?

-That I'm failing you. -You're not.

Yeah, well, I feel like I am. I...

I feel like I should tell you something

comforting and profound.

-Like what? -I don't know.

Quoting Thoreau or something.

I don't even know if he's the right author, actually.

-The woods guy? -Yeah. He went to the pond.

-Why do you need to quote him? -Because that's what we do.

When we don't have the words ourselves to get through stuff,

we borrow it from somebody else who said it.

No, I don't need to quote trees to get through this, Dad. I'm... I'm fine.

And you're fine, and Leigh is Leigh,

and we're all fine.

No, we are not fine, okay?

We're sucking. Officially, we are.

I mean, look at us, right now.

Here we are in this perfect father-son, kitchen table,

drinking-after-dark moment.

I can't think of a single goddamn thing to say

that doesn't sound like I was just googling

"how to console a loved one."

Did you?

Yes.

Sorry, what did it say?

That I'm fucking this up.

You are not fucking it up.

Okay? You're here.

You got me my favorite booze.

You googled something about...

"How to console a loved one."

How to console a loved one.

See? You're doing great.

-Great. -Well, good.

A-ha. "Good."

-Yeah. -Borderline sucking.

No, because if you were really great, that would be weird.

I would... I would... This is better.

You shouldn't be a pro at this.

Well, thank you.

For making me feel better.

Of course. That's what I'm here for.

Ah. Okay. Ooh.

Yes. Great.

-Okay. -All right.

Don't stay up late.

No chance. I'm beat.

I got to say, this is kind of weird,

not having our mouth-breathing,

disgusting friend between us.

Yeah. God, I miss him.

I miss him. Yeah. Miss him so much.

But here we are, you know.

-You look amazing. -I wanted to look nice.

Airplane me was... airplane me.

What would you like?

Uh, champagne, please.

Oh, fancy.

I like to set a mood.

Uh, champagne for her.

And I'll take a tequila soda with lime, please.

That's all you're going to say?

What do you want me to say?

I mean, it's Cleveland...

I don't know, you know, more than that.

I mean, you're going to make me pull it out of you.

You're worse than my patients.

-Patients. -Mmm-hmm.

Doctor?

-Therapist. -Oh, no.

Oh, oh, this is bad. I'm going to have to leave now.

But it was so fun.

How had it been two hours

and you're just now telling me you're a therapist?

You really want me to answer that?

No, I don't, actually.

-Mmm-mmm. -So...

they don't have, like, therapy conventions

in the place that you live in?

Oh, no, they do. They do. Yeah.

Then why Cleveland?

Why is this still my question? I asked you a question.

What was it like growing up in the land of Cleve?

Yeah, I answered said question, but fine.

You hang out in someone's basement,

make out in someone's basement.

You know, there's a lot of basement-related activities.

-Mmm-hmm. -And it's just that.

You know, you spend time with family.

-Spend time with friends. -Mmm.

That's it. Your turn.

Well, I'm here for a therapy conference. So...

Yeah, but...

But I'm also getting a divorce.

I didn't know people came to Cleveland to get divorced.

They don't.

Uh, but they do come to Cleveland

when their ex is finally moving out of the house

and they need to get away for a couple days.

So, if you don't mind me asking,

what was the cause of death?

Well, I mean, the death certificate would say

his infidelities,

but I think that's like saying

Scarface died from falling off of that ledge

rather than the thousands of bullets

that hit him on his way down, you know?

Sick Scarface reference.

Thanks.

Well, I'm sorry. That sucks.

I'm not.

-Oh. -Oh!

So what about you?

I mean, I remember you saying

that you were here spending time with your sister,

so I guess why are you home?

A family reunion.

That's cool.

Oh, yeah.

Well, cheers to you

spending more time with your family.

-Cheers. -Cheers.

This was really nice.

This was really nice. Thank you.

Another drink? One more?

-Yeah. -Yeah.

How was the flight?

It was good.

Did you eat?

No.

Well, if you're hungry or whatever,

-there's gonna be food there. -At the restaurant?

Yeah, of course there's gonna be food in the restaurant.

I'm just saying if you were wondering, maybe.

No, I'm not hungry.

Who's gonna be there?

Uh, Mom, Leigh, me, you, and Rick.

-Rick? -You excited to see Rick?

Yeah. I just... I can't wait.

One big happy family, huh?

Well, happy or not, it is a family.

Exactly what your mom needs right now.

-That and a miracle. -You don't know that.

Yeah, I've seen the research.

Well, in case you're wrong...

The case study, I mean, Dad, come on.

In case you're wrong, what's wrong with being positive?

You mean be fake?

Pretend? Dad, come on.

I'm not saying the road ahead is going to be easy.

And I'm not saying to pretend or be fake.

I'm saying, I don't think

you should plan to lose her.

Because... I think there's a lot of memories

still to come that you'll miss out on.

Yeah.

Uh, Wheeland?

Uh, Barona, actually.

-Hey. -Hey.

-Good to see you. -Good to see you.

-You look good. -So do you.

Come sit.

-Nice place. -Yeah.

Yeah. I hope the food's okay.

I don't know.

It probably is.

Okay, so, um,

before we get started, I have two rules, all right?

Number one is there is going to be no crying.

All right? If anybody has to cry,

they will go to the bathroom.

And, um, number two...

let's not make this weird.

I know that Rick is on his way.

Darren is here.

This is the first time

that we have all been together.

I don't want it to be awkward.

Okay.

I think you broke rule number two.

-Oh. -What'd you get?

-I got you tequila. -It's the house Cab.

Can I get one of those? -Thanks, Mom.

Should have got a bottle. I know.

So, how was the flight?

Mmm.

The flight was good. Kind of long. Uh...

About two minutes into it, the guy sitting next to me

decided to take his shoes off.

-What? -Oh, no.

-And his socks. -No.

And then, about halfway through,

he pulled out a bag of hardboiled eggs

-and just started peeling them. -No.

No, he did not.

Who travels with eggs?

I swear to God.

Hey, buddy. I'm very happy to see you.

Yeah. Me too.

And thank you very much for taking me today.

-It's very sweet of you. -Of course.

Hi.

Hi. Hi, hi. Hey.

-Okay. -Oh, I guess we...

-Hi. -Hi.

-Sorry, traffic was crazy. -It's okay.

Just a crazy day.

What? I stopped at the bar. I was finishing a call.

-What did I miss? -Nothing.

I was just telling Leigh that I was grateful

that she came with me to the clinic.

And I said, "Of course."

Yeah, thanks. Sorry. I couldn't.

All right, so, a toast.

Thank you, everyone, for coming tonight.

I wanted to say how much I appreciate

you all being here with me.

And...

I know that the next few months are going to be really tough.

I'm breaking rule number one.

-Uh, what? -So silly.

What rule, what?

You...

Did she make rules?

Doesn't matter.

♪ Happy birthday to you

♪ Happy birthday to you

♪ Happy birthday Happy birthday... ♪

Let's hear it.

From here, we go to the hospital to get her things.

Then we go to the funeral home

to meet with Rick.

And then, we go to meet the priest.

The what?

The priest.

-The priest. -A priest.

-A "priest" priest? -Yes.

She's Jewish.

Rick said she wanted one.

-A priest? -Yes.

-At her funeral? -Yes.

Even though she's literally Jewish.

-You already said that. -This is insane.

I don't know. That's what he said.

That our Jewish mother wanted a priest at her funeral?

Not once in my 28 years on this planet

did I ever once hear her say,

"You know, when I die,

"make sure to go find some random fucking priest

"to give the eulogy at my funeral."

-I don't know, it's Rick's call. -How?

-We're her children. -Because he's paying for it.

Oh, my God. That's an insane statement.

-Why? -Because this isn't like,

"I'm paying for dinner, I feel like blooming onion.

"Let's go to fucking Outback Steakhouse."

This is her life.

-Okay. Here we got some... -What the fuck?

...pancakes.

We got...

extra crispy bacon.

Melon...

and some yogurt.

Uh, all good?

-Thank you. -Yay.

All right, fine.

-What comes after the priest? -And then we go to Mom's house,

and we get her clothes for...

For the coffin?

Even though she wanted to be cremated.

-You don't know that. -She hated it here.

-She did not hate it here. -Leigh.

Leigh, she hated it here.

I mean, maybe she loved it

in like an "I was born and raised here,

"so it's home" kind of way, but no.

No, she hated it here.

And now, she's going to be buried

in the cold Cleveland ground

-forever. -Well, maybe if you would have

answered your phone any one of the 30 times

that I tried to call or text you in the past few days,

then you could have been a part of the decision-making process.

Whatever.

Let us pray

for this bountiful harvest.

Thank you for this food, amen.

Okay.

The priest would have done a better job.

Can you help me?

Yeah, sorry.

So there's, um, a treatment at Ohio State.

And the results look promising.

Yeah, how do you know that?

It says it right there.

Yeah, but they're all gonna say the results are good.

I mean, they... I...

How do we know this is a good choice?

There's one at MD Anderson.

Maybe I could call Lisa

and have her help me through this thing...

She loved that thing.

Slept with it every night.

And you must be Renn.

Yeah, hi.

It's nice to finally meet you.

-Hi. -Oh, honey.

I'm so sorry.

Thank you. Renn, did you meet Kim?

She took amazing care of Mom.

She always snuck her in extra desserts.

Your mother was a pleasure to know.

Well, follow me.

I've got the rest of her things packed up.

Thank you, room.

Mom, you can't stay in there forever.

Um, uh, yes I can.

Okay, what if we come in there?

Renn, that is the exact same thing

as me coming out there.

I'm not doing it, no. Not doing it.

Mom, it's temporary, okay?

It's gonna grow back.

-Don't stress. -Okay.

How about you take a picture

and text it to us,

and then we're not really seeing you,

and you're not really seeing us.

All right, fine. All right. Okay, I'll do it.

I just need a minute.

Can we stop?

Leigh?

Leigh, can we stop somewhere, please?

No. We have a schedule.

Just for a minute.

So how's John?

-He's fine. -When's he coming in?

Uh, I don't... I don't know, he's working on it.

What does that mean?

It means that he's got some work stuff that he's gotta deal with,

and he's gonna come out when he can.

Okay. Are you angry with me?

No.

-Are you sure? -Yeah.

Because it really feels like you're angry with me.

Why are you suddenly so interested in how I'm feeling?

Let's just... Let's just talk about something else.

Okay. How's John?

See, in the comedy world, we call that a callback.

I don't want to talk about comedy either.

Wait. We need to talk about the schedule.

What about it?

-We need to amend it. -Why?

I gotta buy a tie.

You didn't bring a tie?

I don't own a tie.

You don't own a tie?

Not a black one.

Not one that I can wear to a funeral.

Yeah. Okay, fine.

Why is that so annoying you?

You can borrow my car later, it's fine.

Thank you.

Can I borrow it now?

This place is so depressing,

I just want to drive into the wall.

Oh, shit. I saw that.

What?

-Uh, that was a smile. -It wasn't a smile.

What is this, my first day on Planet Earth?

Yeah, that was a smile.

It was a slight smile.

Still a smile.

Fine, it was a smile.

All right, I'm gonna go find Rick. Don't say "ugh."

Yeah. You do that. I'm gonna stay right here in sad town.

Divorce him?

You have to do something, Mom.

I can't divorce Rick.

Not now anyway.

-Why not? -Because...

Because I... I...

So you're just gonna stick it out?

That sounds awful.

Well, honey, what is the alternative?

I'm going to be

a then twice-divorced, 56-year-old lady

-living in Cleveland. -Mmm-hmm.

That is the saddest sentence I have ever said.

Yeah. The only sad part about that statement

is that you're living in Cleveland.

I mean, you got to get out of here.

Go to Paris.

-Mmm-hmm. -Go to Alaska.

Go to Rome.

-Rome? -Yes.

You should go somewhere.

-Oh, my God. -Anywhere else.

Do your Eat, Pray, Love thing.

You know, minus the "pray."

Yeah. And minus the love.

Because, uh, it's not happening.

-So what do we have? We have... -Then you have eat,

-eat, eat. -Eat, eat.

-That's sounds good. -Yeah. Honestly.

But seriously. Seriously, Mom, you should go.

No, I can't. My job.

-Then quit your job. -No, I can't quit my job

because then I have a house to pay for and then I have a car,

and I do have a life here.

I do. I can't... I can't go, as much as I would like to,

I can't and...

Well, then, I'll come home.

I will walk through this divorce with you, okay?

We'll get divorced together.

You're gonna go through two divorces?

And then we can find you somebody nice,

like actually nice to spend time with.

Like this guy, down here.

He looks very seasoned.

And like he's lived a great life,

you know?

Probably stays up on his current events,

and there's definitely options out there.

He's cute.

Yeah. He's... He's also looks like he's taken.

Rick was not such a bad guy.

I'm telling you, he wasn't.

He was fun.

Sure. Yeah.

But seriously, I can come home

-and help you... -No. You're not coming home.

No. You're living your life.

You have to stay writing.

You're such a good writer.

Promise me, you will keep writing.

Promise me.

-Really? -Mmm-hmm.

Promise?

I promise.

-100%? -100%.

Renn. Renn.

Downstairs.

So, what are we doing here?

What's about to go down in the consoling room?

Uh, the funeral guy is just setting up some caskets.

I don't know, we're just waiting for him.

Setting up?

Yeah.

Like a casket display?

A casket display.

Like a casket showroom?

Yeah. How many more questions are you going to ask, Renn?

-How many caskets? -Three.

I mean, three that fit in my budget.

-You have a casket budget? -Yeah, I do.

Maybe they have certified pre-owned caskets

just like the new ones, but just a little bit cheaper.

I'm sorry, Renn, do you want to contribute?

Maybe with some of that writer's money you've been hoarding?

Well, that's a particularly low blow.

Okay, enough. Both of you.

Not here and not now.

Rick, who is the funeral guy?

I don't know. He's just some weird guy

that runs this place.

No.

I mean, what is his name?

It's Bob.

Hi, I'm Bill.

Ah, so nice to meet you. What was it again?

-Bill. -Bill, that's right.

So nice to meet you, Bill.

Excuse me for one second.

Mrs. Donland, your family

is going to love you in that.

It's a forever home.

Okay, then, let me show you what we got.

Some great options in here.

Question about the one on the right, Bill.

Can we get anything written on there?

Like a custom message?

Or is it just the standard "rest in peace"?

Oh, sure. No, no, no, you could customize it any way you want.

Names. Dates.

-Favorite saying, perhaps. -Favorite saying, perhaps.

-That's right. -Jinx.

-Like "YOLO." -Renn.

She would have thought that was funny. Come on.

-Are those her initials? -You can ignore him.

This one's interesting on the left.

Oh, well, that is very popular.

I can see why, Bill.

I love the idea of a casket with flames on it.

You know, it really sends a solid message to your loved one,

where you think they're headed.

Renn.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Do you want to go with that one, then?

-No, continue ignoring him. -Yeah, just ignore me.

I vote for the one in the middle.

I agree.

You heard him.

Well, shall we?

Are you crazy?

I'm trying to promote you to payroll supervisor.

I know.

It's an honor.

I mean, other people want it.

Uh, like Gary.

He really wants it.

I mean, you can make a lot of money here.

I mean, you're our guy.

Supervisor of the payroll.

We can wait for you.

Think about it.

I'll call you.

Yeah. Thank you.

Everything okay?

Yep. All good.

Well, great scheduling job.

From a funeral home

to the cradle of death itself.

Just be nice in there. He's a priest.

Yeah, and clearly a demon followed him home

and moved in.

Is that an Annabelle doll in the front yard?

-It's not an Annabelle doll. No. -It is. Look. Right. It's a...

It's an Annabelle doll.

Maybe he has nieces.

What, and they left it behind?

Maybe he doesn't know they left it behind.

I'm assuming he's a human person with human eyes.

Maybe he lost his eyes fighting the demon

who followed him home.

-Holy shit. -No.

First a smile, then a joke.

I mean, for someone that didn't want to talk

about comedy an hour ago, this is pretty huge.

-Don't get used to it. -Oh, you're changing.

I can see it happening.

Oh, there we go. Right on cue.

A Miata.

He's blocking the sidewalk.

I'm going to call in a ticket for him.

You get a juice?

Smoothie juice.

What's a smoothie juice?

Sm-uice.

I'm on a diet, so...

Oh, you look great.

Rick. Hey.

-Father Dan. You must be Renn and Leigh.

Pleasure to meet you both. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm in the middle of a lesson. But come in, come in.

Welcome. Welcome.

All right.

Adam, keep practicing. You're doing great.

Sharon, he's doing great. He sounds fantastic.

It's so good.

I'm so glad you guys are finally getting to meet Father Dan.

-Finally? -Yeah,

Father Dan has been a true champion for us

throughout this entire difficult process.

No, really, he's a spiritual hero

that, no matter...

how bad it got, never let us down.

It just means so much that

he'll be there for us in the end.

Thank you, Rick. So nice of you to say.

I'm so relieved to hear that you knew our mother.

I... I didn't know that.

He didn't know her. He never met her.

-He's more my spiritual hero. -Hero.

But that's where you two come in.

I've already told him tons about your mother.

What she likes, her favorite foods and stuff.

But what he'll do now

is he'll sit and talk with you separately,

gather some more information,

and then stitch it together

with my information and...

we'll have our eulogy.

Like a eulogy quilt.

I know you're trying to be funny, but, yeah, exactly.

A eulogy quilt.

I got some errands to run, so I'm going to take off.

Handoff is complete.

All right. Thanks, Rick.

-Thank you. -Bye, Rick.

All right.

Sorry I didn't clean up.

I didn't really have a chance today.

He's getting so much better.

Not so good, like, maybe two months ago, but...

like that little thing, doing really well.

-Yeah. Really good. -Yeah, no, he's really good.

-Thank you. -He's so good.

So, um, who's up?

Renn?

Sorry, uh, can you repeat the question?

Uh... Oh!

How are you?

I'm fine.

So, how does this work?

Um, you just ask me a series of questions

about how I'm doing, or do I just keep rambling?

Well, before I get started, I always like to ask

if the person I'm talking to would prefer to deliver

the eulogy themselves.

-No. -I understand.

It can be challenging, to say the least.

Yeah.

But I still like to ask, just to make sure before I get started.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah, thank you.

The answer's still no, though.

Okay.

Perhaps we should start by you telling me

a little bit about her.

Tell me about Lily Catherine.

Lily Catherine.

Just curious. What did Rick say?

What did he tell you about my mother?

Well, I prefer not to get into your father's comments.

-Step. -Stepfather. Sorry.

Stepfather's comments.

Or your sister's, for that matter.

Okay, so tomorrow's eulogy is just supposed to be,

like, a surprise?

I don't know if I'd quite put it that way,

but I've always found it helps

for the person to think of their loved one on their own.

However you want to see them, not influenced by anyone else.

So, tell me about her, Renn.

Her hobbies? Favorite movies,

or a favorite memory of her?

Yeah. I don't know. I...

I can't think of one right now.

What's the first thing that comes to mind

when you think of her?

That she would have hated this.

What do you mean "this"?

Sitting around,

talking about the end of her life

with Rick's spiritual hero.

No offense.

Why would she hate that?

Because she hated people talking about her.

I mean, it's why she didn't tell anyone

what she was going through.

She, you know, kept it all inside.

No one could know.

I see.

She hated hearing people's opinions.

Hearing about some aunt or uncle

who took a magic pill and beat it.

Maybe that's a better place to start.

Not telling you her favorite hobbies and food.

You know, the bullshit.

Sorry, language.

The stuff she liked.

Because who gives a shit?

Again, sorry.

But telling you what she hated.

Find me somebody who hated

running into someone at the mall as much as she did.

I think that says a lot more about my mom.

All the things she hated.

Like people and talking.

And this.

She would have hated this.

-You did what? -What?

-What? -What did you take?

Oh, my God.

I didn't do anything.

-I just took a cup, okay? -You took a...

-Oh, my God. You did it again.

Leigh, calm down, okay?

People do this all the time at restaurants.

It's why they keep extras.

They have extra stock. It's fine.

-Yes, it is. -That is not true.

Unreal.

-You took the saucer? -I did. And a spoon.

You took the entire set?

You can't just take one piece of the set. Exactly.

You guys are going to get arrested. -Give me a break.

I'm not bailing you out. -Why are you getting so worked up over this?

Because there is not one single thing

that you've taken seriously today.

There has not been one moment that has registered with you,

and it's fucking pissing me off.

It's registered with me.

No, it hasn't. It hasn't.

You have been going through the motions.

It's like you're not even here.

I'm here, okay?

But can you just let me have

my reaction and figure this out on my own?

You're not figuring it out.

You're making jokes.

You're not feeling anything.

Who cares? This is bullshit.

-This is not bullshit, Renn. -Her favorite foods?

It's not, because it's happening.

This is really fucking happening.

The day that we've dreaded,

that we've thought about is finally here.

And you can't continue to ignore the fact

that she's sick anymore because she's gone.

-I'm not ignoring anything. -She's gone.

Are you hearing what I'm saying?

-Yes, I hear you. -She's gone.

I hear you.

Well, then have some sort of reaction.

I'm having a reaction!

I'm yelling, aren't I? That's a reaction.

Just because you can't see it

doesn't mean I'm not doing it.

Renn, I know you pretty well,

and you're just doing the exact same thing that you've always done,

which is you ignore your problems.

You don't want to feel anything,

-you don't want to talk about it. -I got it.

Well, then ask questions.

Like what?

How are you going to deal with your life

without having your mom in it?

How are you going to move on?

You don't need to know the answers to the questions,

but you need to start asking them.

No.

Well, then we're going to be right back here,

we're going to be back here six months from now,

a year from now, six years from now,

having the exact same conversation

and you hitting the ignore button when I call.

You don't know that.

-Okay. -Okay.

I'm going to go up in her closet

and see what I can find for tomorrow.

-Okay. -Um, I don't want to be here long.

We'll just come back tomorrow and get the rest of her stuff.

Hey, buddy. What are you doing?

Leigh?

Are you lost?

Excuse me? Are you lost?

What?

-Are you lost? -Uh, sorry. I need a tie.

Oh, men's dress.

Um, right up there.

Oh, shit.

You need anything?

Renn?

Fuck.

-Hey. Hey. -Renn, dude.

How's it going, man? How's LA?

How's the whole writing thing going?

-Catch me up. -It's good. LA's good.

You write anything lately? Anything I would have seen?

No, uh, not yet.

Just taking a lot of meetings and stuff and...

Oh, shoot. I mean, I'm sure it'll pick up.

It takes... You know, my cousin actually left for LA,

doing the whole acting thing.

Real weird-looking dude.

Yeah, he looks like he got hit in the back

while he was making a surprised face,

and his face just kind of stayed that way.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah. I think he actually just booked

a laundry detergent commercial.

Are you asking me? I don't know him.

Yep. No, it was, it was,

it was a laundry detergent commercial.

Anyhow, dude worked one day, made 20 grand.

One day, 20 smackaroos?

No, I mean, I've heard the money in commercials is crazy.

Yeah, it's crazy.

You should do them, man.

Yeah. That's more advertising,

but I'll keep that in mind, for sure.

Yeah, you know, keep it in mind.

Anyways, how are you, uh, how you doing, man?

How's, um...

Hey, I heard the news.

I heard about your mom.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I... Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Damn. I, um,

you know, I remember your mom.

She was... she was a really nice lady.

Yeah. Thank you.

Um, I remember she used to always be late

to pick you up from school.

Yeah, that's true.

Oh, sorry, that's probably not the best memory

to bring up right now.

No, it's... it's a good one.

You know, I actually also remember my mom, one day,

she was late to come pick me up

because my dad had just gotten fired from work

and he came home early.

And then him and my mom got into this huge fight

and she stormed out.

And I guess because she was so pissed,

she forgot to come get me.

And then I remember your mom came up to me and was like,

"Hey, Andy, I'll just wait for you, come back in the car,

"we'll listen to music. It'll be fun."

And then, so I got in the car

with you and your mom, and then she put on, um...

-Paul Simon. -Paul Simon.

Yeah. She loved Paul Simon.

And then it was just the three of us, you know.

Me, you, and your mom sitting in the car,

listening to Paul Simon.

And then my mom did come to pick me up.

And then she took me home,

and, man, the two of them

just got right back to the fighting.

I mean, like, just all-night fighting.

And I did not want to hear it anymore,

so I snuck downstairs and got into their collection,

and I... I found that same CD.

And then I, you know, went back up

to my little bedroom and put on my headphones.

I didn't hear them fighting the rest of the night.

-Yeah. -Your mom did that for me.

She was, um...

she was a really nice lady.

Thank you.

Sorry, man.

Yeah.

It's good to see you.

♪ Catch me, I'm fallin'

-Yeah! -Whoo!

♪ Catch me now, I'm falling

♪ Ooh, I'm falling

♪ Ooh, I'm falling ♪

Thank you, Cleveland!

-I will be right back. -Oh.

-Hi. -You're welcome.

You were right. I regret coming to meet you here.

-So I'm gonna... -Oh, no, no. It's too late.

Now you have to come and meet my friends. You can't leave. Come here.

Guys, this is Renn.

Oh, Renn.

Hi. Hey.

-Sam. -Hi. Parker.

-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

You were so good. That performance was so good.

So good. Will totally be the top karaoke performance of the night.

Okay, so my goal for tonight is to get you up on that stage.

No, no, no. No, I need, like, 900 shots if that's gonna happen.

-And it's not gonna happen. -I'll be right back.

-Yes. -Oh, my God.

Ah!

Wait, so how do you know Zoey?

Uh, we met fighting alien robots on a plane.

Oh, okay, so you're one of her patients?

Yeah.

How do you guys know her? Go way back or...

-No. -No, we met her this morning at our conference.

Yeah, but we already love her.

-Yeah. How could you not? -Yeah.

Were you guys just talking about me?

-Yes, but only good things. -Okay, well, go on.

Oh, boy.

All right, so... cheers to participating.

Mmm.

And to your lovely town of Cleveland.

-To Cleveland. -Cleveland.

-And participating. -To Cleveland!

Mmm. What is that, alcohol?

Yep.

Who did this?

-Renn, that is so rude. -Thank you so much.

-Okay. -Okay.

-Danger zone, danger zone. -Cheers, cheers, cheers.

I'm gonna step out.

Why does it taste different? Honestly, number five, I'm just like...

Cleveland!

Hi.

How's my favorite emo boy doing?

He's about two seconds away from getting

a Dashboard Confessional tattoo on his calf.

-Ooh. -Yeah.

So I take it family time was a bit much.

Yeah, you could say that.

What'd y'all do today?

Uh... What'd we do today?

Went to a funeral home, a hospital.

Met a priest.

Um... insulted a priest.

I had a fight with my sister,

and she had a breakdown in the closet.

I got a tie. Now this.

I feel like you're going to have way more than

four questions after that.

No, just one.

Why are you actually home?

Yeah, that's the right one.

Um...

My mom died.

-Oh, my God. -Yeah.

Renn, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, thank you.

Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know. Um...

I guess I thought if I didn't say it out loud,

then it wasn't real.

I get that.

But it is.

She's gone, and her funeral is tomorrow.

God, that feels...

crazy to say out loud.

I'm going to my mom's funeral tomorrow.

I'm sorry.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Are you?

I mean, I wouldn't be.

Yeah. No, I'm not.

And I...

I don't know why I keep saying that.

Yeah, it's like this whole thing just doesn't feel real.

You know, and I...

I don't know how to deal with it.

So I just... I keep ignoring it and avoiding it, and...

I'm worried that I'm going to be stuck like this forever.

Yeah.

I know it feels like that.

But eventually...

It may be very, very slowly, but eventually...

you'll get better at dealing with it and living with it.

I don't know how to explain it,

but it feels like there's two halves of my life.

The good half, you know, before all this started,

before she got sick.

And then there's the shitty half,

present company excluded, is the half

I don't want to get better at dealing with.

I just want to go back before

watching her wear gloves

because her hands were too chapped, or...

helping her pick out a wig.

Or which hospital to go to

which would eventually not save her.

You know, I just want to be back on a bar patio

like this with her, just talking and laughing.

Want the good half, again.

It's weird. It's like I have these glimpses

of the good half...

you know, but they just feel so far away now.

And...

it's like I can see them, right?

But I can't... I can't touch them.

I'm just watching them.

I'm not...

I'm not participating.

And it's so sad.

You know, I just keep looking at my phone all the time...

thinking I'll see a text or a call from her

that's like, "Hey, buddy, you know, I'm...

"I'm kidding. I'm fine."

But...

You know, I know that's not, um,

that's not going to happen.

And, uh...

instead, I get these calls from my boss,

for a job that I don't want.

My sister just calls me and reminds me

of all the things we have to do because...

our mom's gone.

And so I just keep ignoring and avoiding and, uh...

fucking everything up.

-I'm sorry. I've said too much. -No.

I don't think that you're fucking everything up.

Yeah, well, I don't think I'm doing a good job.

Yeah, I don't think you're supposed to be.

Thanks.

Hey, um...

Can I come tomorrow?

Come to my mom's funeral?

-It sounds weird... -It's kinda weird.

...but I'm... I...

I don't know. I just want to be there for you.

I'd like that.

Cool.

Cool.

I think I'm ready.

Ready for what?

I'm... I'm interested in what any of this means.

-Let's go. -Okay.

What?

♪ Moving forward Using all my breath

♪ Making love to you

♪ Was never second best

♪ I saw the world flashing all around your face

I saw it.

♪ Never really knowing

♪ Mesh and lace

Come on.

♪ I'll stop the world and melt with you

♪ You've seen the difference

♪ And it's getting better all the time

♪ There's nothing you and I won't do

♪ I'll stop the world And melt with you ♪

We are gathered here today

to pay our final respects

to Lily Catherine.

Teacher, friend, sister,

wife.

And mother.

Lily Catherine was full of light and laughter.

She had a laugh that could fill a room.

Her loving husband, the love of her life, Rick,

said that...

she loved people most of all.

In fact, he says that she would have loved

to see you all here today, to talk to you all,

to hold your hands and hear all about your lives.

She loved catching up with friends,

talking about her favorite movies,

one of which...

Sorry.

Renn.

I can only think of one memory of her right now, um,

and I wish it was something cool like...

jumping out of an airplane or mountain climbing, um,

but it's not.

It's her. It's me.

We're driving home from the mall.

And I'm nine years old, and I'm pissed.

Because she forgot me at a clothing store.

She told me to sit and wait on a bench

in Ann Taylor with my Superman comic

and wait while she tried on

a few thousand articles of clothing.

Leigh knows, that was a favorite hobby of hers.

She would buy some new clothes,

keep the tags on them, and bring them back. Anyway...

She, uh, she did that a lot. And, um...

this time in particular, it was a sweater.

And she bought it and walked out.

I sat there on that bench and...

waited for her to come back.

A couple of hours later, she did.

And she came rushing in,

apologizing up and down, but I was still pissed.

This old lady kept asking me, "Are you lost?"

And the thing is, I wasn't. I was exactly

where I was supposed to be.

She just... she just left me.

When I think back on it now, you know,

all I feel is jealousy.

Because I wish I could relive that day.

I wish I could relive sitting on that bench

in that store with that Superman comic.

I'm jealous of that nine-year-old boy.

You know, 'cause if I could just relive that...

relive that day, then that would mean...

she comes back.

Sorry.

Hi.

-That was a beautiful story, Renn. - -Oh, you know.

Your mother would have been proud of you.

Thank you.

Let me know if you need anything at all.

Yeah, will do.

-Hi. -Hi.

Thank you for coming.

Yeah, thank you for letting me be here for you.

Uh, I see you met my sister.

Yeah, Leigh. She's really nice.

I was, like...

-jazz. -Yeah.

That's what jazz is for, you know.

I'm sorry, just one...

-One second. -Yeah, of course.

Uh...

Nice speech back there, Renn.

Yeah. Nice joke right now, Rick.

Well, people grieve in their own ways, Renn.

Mmm. Yeah.

You know, and some people don't grieve at all, apparently.

You think I'm not grieving?

Well, I have eyes and ears, so, yeah.

-Guys, not now. -It's fine, we're just talking.

Okay. Because you're over there all sad,

that must mean she meant more to you

than she did to me, right?

Yeah. Yeah, that, and just generally,

you not being around for the last two years

-or the ten years before that... -Renn.

...or when she started chemo,

or when she was sleeping on the bathroom floor

because she didn't have enough energy to move to the bed,

when she started hallucinating from the pain meds she was on.

-You remember that, Leigh? -Oh, Jesus, Renn.

That was fun. 'Cause, you know, she was seeing people

from her past that weren't actually there.

And then she would start fucking crying

because she was seeing people from her past who weren't actually there.

You weren't there for any of that.

So, yeah, I feel bad for you, and I wish you luck

with having to live with that.

Oh, yeah? And you're an expert, huh?

You're an expert on what to do when a loved one gets sick?

'Cause what did you do? Come right home?

Did you stay by her side?

-Yeah, I came home. -You came home

-a couple times. -I saw my mother plenty.

And I talked to her every fucking night.

And by the way, this isn't about me.

-This is about you. -Oh, no.

This is about you.

Because in case you realize it or not,

when she got sick, and I mean really sick,

you weren't there for her either.

Your sister was, but you weren't.

Yeah, and you were?

-You were? -Compared to you,

I was a second layer of skin.

Guys, maybe don't do this right now.

It's fine. -He judged me for the way I'm grieving.

I don't judge you for running away

and staying away, doing your writing.

-She told me not to come. -Oh.

And you listened.

A sick woman told you not to come home,

and you listened because that's what you wanted to hear.

I was gonna come home.

But you didn't. Listen, you really think

that she didn't want you to come home?

You really think that she didn't want you there

by her side?

You were her favorite, Renn.

Sorry. It's true.

She didn't want me there, so I wasn't.

She wanted you there, and you weren't.

Because you weren't, you never got to say goodbye.

Maybe that's what this is about.

-Sorry about that. -Rick.

Good luck living with that.

Go on, get out.

I'm sorry.

-Sorry. -Sorry.

Thank you so much for coming.

Drive safe.

Thank you.

Mmm...

How do you do it?

What?

Just keep it all together all the time. And...

You're so strong. You...

Renn, I'm... I'm a fucking mess.

Really.

I didn't realize.

Yeah.

Thought the closet breakdown was a one-time thing.

I'm sorry for leaving you alone with all this.

You mentioned that day that Mom left you in the mall.

I remember that day a little bit differently.

-You weren't there. -Yeah, exactly.

I wanted to be.

I know that she left you in that store,

and that was really scary for you, and I get that.

But I was never invited.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Rick is an asshole,

and he's wrong about a lot of things,

and we can get into that in a second. But...

the one thing that he is right about

is that you were her favorite.

We have their personalities, and you know it.

And from time to time, he tried to act more like you.

And then from time to time, she tried to act more like me.

But, I mean, that was the way it was.

Which is why she took you on adventures and not me.

It's not because she didn't love me.

I know she loved me.

But because she was avoiding him by avoiding me.

I don't have the memories

that you had with her growing up.

But I have them.

I have them now.

From a month ago.

Sitting in that hospital room with her.

Watching The View, playing cards.

And, yeah, maybe they're not warm and fuzzy, but...

they're with her, and...

they're mine.

So, you got the good half with her,

and I got the bad, but...

I wouldn't trade my half for the whole world.

Yeah.

And you didn't come home. And I get...

I get why you feel guilty about that.

But Rick is wrong about that part

because that's exactly what she wanted.

She was avoiding herself by avoiding you.

Because if you would have come home, then...

then it would have been real.

So you can sit and you can sulk and you can cry

and you can listen to the Smiths or whatever you do.

But I wouldn't because...

she wouldn't want you to.

To Mom.

To Mom.

You were very, very scary.

You really got up in his face.

He's got crazy eyes.

What?

-What now? -Fucking Rick.

-So Rick locked us out of the house. -Correct.

-And said he'd drop her stuff off. -Correct.

And this is what he dropped off?

-Correct. -Motherfucker.

These two boxes and a garbage bag?

-Yep. -Motherfucker.

So Rick gets to decide what childhood memories

we walk away with in two boxes.

And a garbage bag.

-And what about Mom's stuff? -Still in the house.

-Which we're locked out of. -Ding-ding-ding.

This is a real dick move. D-I-C-K.

I want to send him to the bottom of the ocean.

I want to scream.

I want to put a hit out on him.

We could sue him. We don't have a case.

I wouldn't last two minutes in prison.

You wouldn't.

Mother fuck Rick.

Okay. There is one thing we could do.

And I can think of one person'd be very proud of us for doing it.

Mmm-mmm.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

-Yes. -No.

-Yes, yes, yes. -No, no, no.

It doesn't look like anybody's home.

What if they have a security guard?

Dad, they're not going to have a security guard.

Okay, for the record, I just want to say that this

is an all-time bad plan.

I'm not... I'm not against it.

I'm also not for it, and I just want it noted.

Noted. Okay. Let's just walk through the steps.

Okay. How to break into a house.

Oh, my gosh. I'm sorry.

Before we go any further, the parent in this situation,

the supposed voice of reason, is on board with this plan?

Yeah. Do I wish I didn't wear my loafers to a B and E?

Yeah, but most importantly,

it's that you two get closure and personal growth.

That's what matters.

And getting revenge on Rick 'cause he's a piece of shit.

And that includes a B and E.

We said a light breaking-and-entering.

We agreed on a light B and E, right?

-Stop saying B and E, please. -Okay.

But, yes, it'll be a light one.

Can we go through the steps, please?

Fine. I am not on board.

I just... What is step one? I'm curious about the steps.

Sure. Step one.

"Is anyone home?"

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like that's...

-Pretty obvious. -But it's still fundamental.

Uh, let's just say probably nobody's home.

Probably.

Okay, well, probably no, then go to step two,

which is, do we know if the house has any alarms?

I don't think that he installed

an entire security system today,

and we didn't have anything like that before,

so I'm going to say also probably no.

No, or probably no again, in this case.

We jump to step four.

-Shit. -What?

I... I tapped an ad.

-There's an ad playing. Goddamn it, Dad. Come on.

What do you want me to do, Renn?

Who's advertising on a site for breaking and entering?

It's like a video game. It's actually cool.

It's like an underwater sea world

with mermaids and seahorses.

-You can't just click out of it? -No.

-The "X." -No, it doesn't let me...

Turn it down, Jesus.

-I am hitting the X. -We're going to jail.

Look, it's okay. It's over. It's over.

It just stopped. Okay, I'm going to go back to step four.

Look for an open window.

An open window.

An open window. Let's go.

-Oh, no, no... -Let me see if there is...

Don't slam the door.

We should have rehearsed this.

Rehearsed it?

I don't know. This is like, it's so reckless.

Other side?

Oh, wow.

That doesn't look suspicious.

Where is he? It's been like an hour.

No, it's not.

-Here he comes. -Oh, oh...

Oh, boy. This is not...

Okay, too bad. Nothing's open.

-Let's go. Right? -Kitchen window's open.

Wait, the one above the sink?

Yeah. What's step five?

Step five.

Go in that window.

And then what?

-Steal stuff. -No more steps?

It's an article on breaking and entering.

I mean, you probably need

another one once you get inside.

-Oh, my God. -We should google it.

-No. -Okay, so basically,

once you break in, steal stuff.

No, you can't go in and steal stuff.

If you steal stuff, then he's going to notice

and he's going to call the cops,

and then we're all going to get arrested.

-Oh, God. -You can go in and you can steal items,

but you can't steal stuff.

Okay, if I'm gonna do this, if we're all gonna do this,

then we need to make that very, very clear.

-Yeah, we're clear. -Yeah.

No, stuff, just a few things.

No, no, no, not things, items.

You're getting hung up on the word, not the action.

This feels like stalling, no? This feels like stalling.

Yeah, we are. I'm stalling. I am the official staller.

Parent time, voice of reason.

Look, this feels wrong.

We all know it's wrong. Okay?

I should probably say something

to stop you from doing this. And I...

I'm drawing a blank, so...

So we're doing this.

-All right. -Okay.

Steal items on three.

-Steal items on three. -One, two, three.

-Items. Items. -Steal items.

Items.

What are you doing?

Leigh. Leigh.

-I'm going. -No, no, no, no.

Oh.

It's good for them. It's good for them.

Oh, my God.

Okay, I'm here.

-Hi. -Hi.

Are you going to try to stop me?

-Nope. -Okay.

God.

Careful. Be quiet.

-Just don't get arrested. -Okay.

To Mom.

-To Mom. -To Lily.

Anything out there?

Nothing exciting.

Well, that's a bummer.

Tell me about it.

-Hi. -Hi.

Glass of champagne, please.

Fancy.

I like to set a mood.

Hey, so remember when you told me

something personal and difficult

about why you came to Cleveland and then I,

in turn, lied and said I was here for a reunion?

I do.

I don't think I ever apologized for that.

So, I just want to say I'm... I'm really sorry.

-Thank you. -Yeah.

And I'm really sorry for the very loud

screaming match with my stepdad earlier.

That was crazy.

It's okay. It's one of the stages of grief.

What, screaming at your step-parents?

-Anger. Yeah. -Oh, no, yeah.

I'm considering going pro at denial.

Putting up some big numbers.

So, are you okay?

No.

-No? -No.

But I will be.

Ah! I feel like we are two people

who should not be dating right now.

Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

Good kiss. But I'm... I'm a complete mess.

So, probably, you're probably right.

100%. Me too.

I mean, if I were my own therapist,

I'd say, "Girl, get up,

"get out of there, and text him in, like, a year."

Yes. And I would... I would wait three days

to respond to try and look cool.

Okay. As if you could wait three days to text me back.

No, I wouldn't last a day.

I would respond right away.

I hope so.

Oh, perfectly timed champagne. Thank you so much.

To your mom.

To Lily.

Oh, shit.

We're each other's alibi.

Remember that.

All right. Well, I guess...

No reason to delay.

I'm here to apologize.

I shouldn't have locked you guys out.

I wanted to bring you a peace offering.

All right. Here you go.

If there's anything else you need, just let me know.

Give me a call or...

Just go, Rick.

You're breaking rule number two.

What rule? Am I... am I missing something?

Don't worry about it.

Okay. Bye.

-Bye, Rick. -Bye.

That's definitely not all of our stuff.

No.

We'll take what we can get.

Yeah. Good for Rick.

"Not until we are lost

"do we begin to understand ourselves."

Henry David Thoreau. "The woods guy."

Renn, hey.

I'm sticking with my decision, Kevin.

Uh, I'm gonna keep writing.

What are you gonna do for work?

I don't know, but I'll figure it out.

Well, good luck.

We'll miss you.

Thanks.

-Right. -Right.

Bye.

Text me when you get in. Okay?

And answer your fucking phone.

Okay.

Okay.

Let's take the long way.

Okay.

Okay.

Love you.

Thank you.

What have you got in your sleeve?

Did they give that to you?

-No. -No?

You stole it.

Yeah.

Can I see it?

You know, it's not such a great idea to steal things.

-Okay. -So let's not do that again.

Just this once, it's yours.

-Okay. -Just this once.

-Ready to go? -Yeah.

Okay.

All right. Let's boogie.