All language subtitles for The life & death of Peter Sellers
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Okay folks, here they come
and come, and lots of applause
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00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:19,240
Oh, look here, the marvelous Harry
Secombe, the delightful Spike Milligan
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00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,200
Oh and Peter Sellers
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00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,600
This is the BBC home service
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00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,800
Another remarkable nineteen
fifty-seven edition of the wireless
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00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:41,960
talking-type, Goon Show!
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00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,320
You sir, yes you
with the linen hair and oily suit
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00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,360
And what is it that you want
you sick and twisted boy?
11
00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,000
I must ask you to empty your pockets
12
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,720
Ah, quit stalling man! Empty your pockets!
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00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,200
Now, listen to me, Neddy
that is our worldly wealth
14
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:04,640
What, what, what, what, what, what, what?!
15
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:08,440
Then, what's that ominous
bulge in the seat of his trousers?
16
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,640
Oh, just some leather meringues
17
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,120
Now, listen to me, my God man
18
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,880
We'd like to hire your
stained glass battering ram
19
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,240
- Ooh, what for?
- Uh, how about two schillings?
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00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,080
I haven't got two shillings
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00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,880
We'll take it anyway
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00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,280
No, you dirty, rotten swine
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00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:35,960
You broke my little castle store
a stow away, I say! Come on out!
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00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,000
All right, I will come out
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00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,440
Send in Mr. Sellers
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00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,280
- Good morning
- Good morning Mr. Sellers
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00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:57,720
- Now...
- You Brenner?
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00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,760
Goodness, is that you with him?
29
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:05,120
Yes, now am I right in reading that
you're here for the part of Ned Brockway?
30
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,640
Yes, that's right
31
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,440
You do realize that the script calls
for a sixty-years old, war veteran?
32
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,560
I've got his voice worked out perfectly
33
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,000
Perhaps I could do a bit for you?
34
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,320
Mr. Sellers, I know you're quit big on radio
35
00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:20,680
- Well, I don't like to boast
- But film's a bit of a different medium
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00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,920
And it's one I'm quite, quite keen on
37
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:24,560
A visual medium, dear
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00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:28,680
- Yes, of course
- A very unforgivingly visual medium
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00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:31,080
But thank you ever
so much for coming
40
00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:54,280
I am little Michael Bluebottle
I'm an ace private detective
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00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:59,240
He's got hish own schcooter
he's got his own, kneecaps
42
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:00,800
He goes anywhere in Finchley
43
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:06,120
And I am hotfoot after the criminals
what have stolen all the string
44
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:11,480
- I suspect the Moriarty man?
- Ah, where is that Moriarty man?
45
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,000
Thinks
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00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:16,440
- Points finger
- Pointy, pointy, pointy
47
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:19,280
- Oh God, now we've done it
- Oh, I'll get her Anne
48
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,760
No, that's all right, I'll go
49
00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,640
No, Anne, it's my house, I'll help Peter
50
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,240
You're tired, you stay and rest
51
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,000
- Have some fun
- Leave it to me and Peg
52
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:33,200
All right, dad... you can be
Major Dennis Bloodnock
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00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:37,840
And you've just apprehended
England's biggest string criminal
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00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,880
- All right, yes
- Peter?
55
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,560
You're under arrest
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00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:46,120
Darling, it's all right, it's all right
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00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,040
- Dear, dear me
- Look who's here
58
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,680
- That's the girl
- Is it time for a change?
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00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,800
Sh... sh... sh... oh, she's so lovely
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00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:56,280
- There we are
- Thanks Mum
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00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,600
I'll... I'll do it
62
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:03,360
Ooh, ohh, boo-boo-boo-boo
63
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:07,280
Those film people won't have
anything to do with me, Mum
64
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,960
It was my fifth audition this week
65
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,280
- What did they say to you?
- Same thing they always say to me
66
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:16,720
Not good-looking enough
not magnetic enough, stick to radio, dear
67
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:21,040
that's what you're good at, keep
being the ring master in a circus of twits
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00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:26,000
Maybe I should just be content
69
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:29,080
You simpering cow
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00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:34,240
How can you be content changing
nappies in a four room flat like a woman?
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00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,240
You want to be a failure like your father?
Keep mewing about contentment
72
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,640
- That's not very fair, Peg
- I didn't bring you up to be content
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00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:45,040
I didn't slog around third-rate
music halls, doing these shows a night
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00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,720
So you can powder your baby's bottom
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00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,080
And whine about how nobody
ever gives the radioman a chance
76
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:55,040
Ah Peter, no one's gonna hand it to you
77
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,200
You want success
you gotta go out and take it
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00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:03,160
Bite the hand that feeds you, then there's
always be another hand with more food
79
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,920
And they'll be impressed
by the sharpness of your teeth
80
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:16,080
Come you, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...
81
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:21,080
- I love you, Peter
- I love you, Peg
82
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,080
- I really love you, Peter
- I love you too, Peg
83
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:28,840
- I really love you, Peter
- No, I really love you, Peg
84
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,240
Send in Mr. Cobblers
85
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,400
Good morning
86
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,400
- Good morning
- Aye, it is
87
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,600
Ah, would you like
to sit down, Mr. Cobbers?
88
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,720
I prefer to stand if you don't mind, ooh
89
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:59,520
You see, I caught a bit
of shrapnel... in the Ardennes
90
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,040
Oh, I quite understand
91
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:04,120
Now, I don't appear
to have received your C.V
92
00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:07,160
Well, that could be
because I don't have one madam
93
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:12,160
I don't believe a man's worth can
be summed up on a piece of paper
94
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,640
It wouldn't be fair to me, or to you
95
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:21,320
Or to any of those dear lads
I've left behind, in no man's land
96
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:30,760
- But you have acted?
- All over this fair land, madam
97
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,520
Well, you have to have
a formal audition, of course
98
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,480
- But I must say... you're nearly perfect
- Well...
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00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,640
- Wai... oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
- Oh! Oh, heavens, ah, oh
100
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,880
- Oh
- Up there
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00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:49,320
Yes, well, that's what I was thinking
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00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:57,880
- It's me Peter
- You naughty boy
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00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,360
Perhaps now we could
talk about my contract?
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00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:41,120
Our nominees for best
performance by a British actor, are
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00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:48,200
Richard Burton, Peter Finch
Lawrence Olivier, and Peter Sellers
106
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:54,480
And the British Academy Award goes
to, Peter Sellers for I'm Alright Jack
107
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,800
Your royal highness
uh, you naughty man
108
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:10,880
Ladies and gentlemen, first of all, may
I say, thank you very, very much indeed
109
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,280
For this wonderful award
which I shall treasure
110
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:17,440
You know I went to consult an
acknowledged expert about tonight
111
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,320
Someone who has published
several pamphlets on this subject
112
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,200
My mother
113
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:27,200
And she told me to be short
be sweet, and be circumscribed
114
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,200
Which I am
115
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,600
Don't we have any macaroons?
116
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:58,760
It would be nice to think me
son were very happy then
117
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:03,000
And he might have been
happy with good enough
118
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:15,160
Come here, but good enough was
never what his mother had in mind
119
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:20,960
That boy needed a firmer hand
120
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:30,480
I don't know, maybe if Peg had let us all
settle down in one place for long enough
121
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,120
If Peter had regular routine life
122
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:37,320
I might have been able to teach him
something about life, the way I saw it
123
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,720
The straightforwardness of it
124
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,800
We had to keep show on road
125
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,800
I remember once, we were all in
a café in Brighton having our tea
126
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:53,960
Peter would have
been five, no probably six
127
00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,720
We got down to the last cake on the plate
128
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,360
And before I could even ask
who wanted to share it
129
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:03,120
Peter snatched it up, licked it all over
130
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,720
I took it off him, of course
131
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:09,400
He threw himself down on the floor
screaming his bloody head off
132
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,640
Peg just laughed, she bought him sweets
133
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,480
Those bloody rages
134
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,680
Peter always got the last cake
135
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,440
- Even if it were on someone else's plate
- Background Action
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00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:41,800
Mr. Sellers, what does it feel like
to be co-starring with Sophia Loren?
137
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:48,360
Uh, soft, warm, a little like
being a young boy in a bakery
138
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,640
Very early in the morning
139
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,720
There she is!
140
00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,080
It's Ella, ah look
141
00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,720
This way Miss Loren
142
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:01,880
Excuse me?
143
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:05,840
Which one of you
gentlemen is Peter Sellers?
144
00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,280
Welcome to England, Miss Loren
145
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,560
We've never had it so good
146
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:45,320
I'm so pleased Miss Loren
to be telling me about your dreams
147
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:49,600
Oh Doctor, they started when I was a girl
148
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:54,360
A girl, Goodness, gracious
me, that is a very good start
149
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,240
And what were you
dreaming about as a girl?
150
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,680
Boys
151
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,600
- So you were being crazy for the boys
- No
152
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,600
They were crazy for me
153
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,040
That is not so crazy
154
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,600
Such a funny boy
155
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,440
Excuse me, uh, Miss
Loren, it's your husband
156
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:19,320
Ah, thank you, oh Carlo
ciao amore, come estas?
157
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,720
Si
158
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,960
Get out of the way, I can't see
159
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,240
Open your eyes
160
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,240
Surprise
161
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:46,840
Wow
162
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,480
Daddy, what's in there?
163
00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,160
And here we have this year's Formula
One grand champion Michael Sellers
164
00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,160
whom the press have dubbed
the Human Lightning Bolt
165
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:05,600
and like any young professional
166
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:08,840
young sellers likes to give his
equipment a careful once-over
167
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,800
It is this attention to detail that
has allowed this intrepid speedster
168
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,800
to leave Sterling Moss in
the dust last year at Aintree
169
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:20,840
Eyes clear, jaw fixed, the ambitious
Sellers presents a portrait of determination
170
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,680
What's that sir?
171
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,240
What the bloody hell is that?
172
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,760
I'm going to phone the dealer
hard-shell paint job, bollocks!
173
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,600
I'll murder him!
174
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,320
Come, see, Dad, come on
175
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,280
All right, I'm coming
176
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:51,080
Dad, come and see, please
177
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:57,440
I fixed it for you, I made it look beautiful
it looks just like a racing car now
178
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:08,640
Dad? Don't you like it dad?
179
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:11,480
Dad?
180
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:28,240
You see Michael?
I fixed all your toys for you
181
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,520
Aren't they beautiful?
182
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,840
Come on darling, we're going downstairs
183
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,440
Come on, it's all right
184
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,200
Two
185
00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:23,280
- Michael?
- Yes
186
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,200
- You know what happened this morning?
- Yeah?
187
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,760
- You know daddy didn't mean it, don't you?
- Yeah
188
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:34,000
- You know it's not your fault?
- Yeah
189
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:40,400
He's working very hard
and he just gets carried away sometimes
190
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,000
Okay
191
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:54,560
Michael? Can I see you for a second?
192
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,000
We're in here
193
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,240
Hi Mike, I've got a surprise for you
194
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,120
Say partner, come
and say howdy to your new friend
195
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,240
- Give him some apple
- Okay
196
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:23,480
Hello
197
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,440
- Amazing
- Do you like it?
198
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,080
- I love him
- Come around the front
199
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,440
- Look, Mum
- I think he likes you
200
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,880
A big smile for daddy
201
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,760
- I thought, let's call him Fred
- Fred
202
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,680
He's asleep
203
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,200
Tell me honestly, darling
204
00:18:56,320 --> 00:19:00,600
Do you find it hard to believe that a woman
like this could fall for a man like me?
205
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:08,520
Maybe it is something to do
with the mystery of being in love
206
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:20,360
I'm afraid Min, we're going to have to take
all these little cars to the toy hospital
207
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,680
It's just not charming anymore
208
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:29,440
That's good, I have to be more than
charming, I've got to be passionate
209
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,960
I'm starring opposite the most
beautiful woman in the world
210
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,400
Your son was terrified today
211
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,760
I'm under a lot of pressure
I could use your support
212
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:43,160
You've always had my support Peter
213
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,520
it's my patience that
I'm no longer sure about
214
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:18,840
Peter?
215
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,920
- Peter, what are you doing?
- I've been bad
216
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,120
- Oh Peter, come out of there
- No
217
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,640
Oh, hello
218
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,880
Can't you come down here
and join the little people
219
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,040
- Peter
- Yes my love?
220
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,240
Why can't we be a normal family?
221
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,280
We are
222
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,600
Sarah, here
223
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,840
- Keep waving to Daddy
- Have a drink
224
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,600
- That's nice
- Michael
225
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,640
I love you!
226
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,320
Bird singing in the sycamore...
227
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,160
- Champagne, Sophia?
- Please
228
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:40,520
Little dream of me, oh, cha, cha
229
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:44,560
Thank you
230
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,320
Are you tired? I could give you
a lift home after this, you know?
231
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:08,560
My home is Rome
that's an awfully long drive, no?
232
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,400
Well, we do have all night
233
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:15,040
You are sweet, but the
studio gives me a limo
234
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,080
Besides, you live so far
out here in the country
235
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,800
It's out of your way to drive me into town
236
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,320
The great thing about being in
town is you're so close to everything
237
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:33,840
Buckingham Palace
is just across the way
238
00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,120
You know, in case you
need to borrow some sugar
239
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,560
It's not moving I mind, Peter
240
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,360
It's just not knowing I'm moving
241
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:52,480
Tadaa! Ksh
242
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,560
Oh, darling, I'd like you to meet Ted Levy
243
00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,600
I've brought him on as
our interior decorator
244
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,560
By royal appointment HRH
you know, to lighten your load an all
245
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,120
Ted, Anne
246
00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:08,520
It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Sellers
247
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,120
He's a handsome devil
isn't he? But I figure...
248
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:18,160
a handsome man probably will be
able to make us a very handsome flat
249
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,120
- Yes
- Well, I wouldn't go as far as that
250
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:25,680
Now Anne, Ted has got
some brilliant ideas for this place
251
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,440
Mr. Levy, was it?
252
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,000
Ted
253
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,760
Ooh, cal time, I've gotta go
254
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,560
I must dash off
255
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,480
You two, choose away
256
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:49,360
Oh, have a drinkie-poo
and make a night of it
257
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,840
Ted, whatever's fine with
Anne is perfectly fine with me
258
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,360
Why don't I show you
what I've got in mind?
259
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,840
- Darling, you made it
- Oh, Peter
260
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,400
Isn't your wife joining us?
261
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:35,840
Andre
262
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,520
What would sir and
madam say to a little fish?
263
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,760
I'd probably say, "Hello, little fish"
264
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,760
Thank you
265
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,040
To us, my darling
266
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,520
You are wonderful
267
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,160
I just can't believe my luck
268
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:04,240
Ah, you are lucky, how?
269
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,760
We're going to be very happy together
270
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,920
It's so dark in here, huh?
271
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,840
Ah, yes, well... we have
to take precautions, you know
272
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,080
What do you mean, precautions?
273
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:28,720
Should we... should, tell the world?
Stop all this sneaking about?
274
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:33,320
But Peter, I thought we
were having a friendly dinner
275
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,240
I'd be a relief to you, too
Ponti's such a nice man
276
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,400
It must be hard lying to your husband
277
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:48,760
I think you are mistaken
278
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:54,920
Go home to your children
and, go home to your wife, Peter
279
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:11,680
She's right, they should be the first to know
280
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:14,960
Well, what do you think?
281
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:21,800
Does this mean you want a divorce?
282
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:29,200
Oh, you know I hadn't
thought about it, not necessarily
283
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,400
Do you still love us?
284
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,920
Of course I do, sweetheart
285
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:51,560
Just, not as much as I love Sophia Loren
286
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:58,720
- What he's talking about
- I don't know, darling, come here
287
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,040
Hello, Ted?
288
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:24,920
It's Anne Sellers
289
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:29,600
Uhm, I'm glad you're there
I've had an idea about the color
290
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,720
Well I was wondering if we could meet
291
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,840
Yes, yes, that would be lovely
292
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,360
I'll see you there
293
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:49,760
George, how are you?
294
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:33,520
Hello, are you enjoying
being Sophia's stand-in?
295
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:35,960
Yes
296
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,160
Have you ever ridden in
the back of a Rolls Royce?
297
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,360
- Why no
- Next best thing to a Bentley
298
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:48,760
Anne?
299
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,080
Michael?
300
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:02,760
You awake?
301
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:05,880
Hi, Dad
302
00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:09,480
What is it?
303
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:16,080
Your mother is sleeping
with the interior decorator
304
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:52,680
- Where are the children?
- They're at Peg's
305
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,960
If you leave this flat
I'm going to jump off this balcony
306
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,920
Don't make me any promises, Peter
307
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,240
All right! I'll meet you downstairs
308
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:09,960
I had you followed, the detectives
asked me if I wanted to see any pictures
309
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,440
I told them no, I thought
that was rather chivalrous
310
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:14,880
How considerate
311
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,200
You are not to leave
this house again, I forbid it
312
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,400
Come back here
313
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:23,120
Anne!
314
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,400
I do love you
315
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,560
I'm so fucking bored of the little boy!
316
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,240
Why can't you be a man?
317
00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:02,360
You're a miserable, lying, shit, I hate you
318
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,160
I'll meet you downstairs
319
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:42,920
- And, cut!
- That was cut
320
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,360
Check the gate
321
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,480
Could we do it again
please? I didn't quite feel it
322
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,920
There's no time darling, fix it in post
323
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:51,920
Oh, all right
324
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:55,880
This way, Mrs. Sellers
325
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,640
Oh, Peter, I love you so much
I'm so sorry I hurt you
326
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:15,440
I should never have slept with Ted
327
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:17,280
You're the best lover I've ever had
328
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,640
I'm going down to the lobby to tell
Ted that I never want to see him again
329
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,160
And then we'll go out to your favorite
restaurant, and eat a sumptuous meal
330
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:25,960
And after that
I'm going to make love to you
331
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,320
Like no wife has ever made
love to her husband before
332
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:47,600
- I'm just going to freshen up, and then...
- I'll meet you downstairs
333
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:55,800
That's much better
334
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,200
She's gone, Mum
335
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,920
You're all right, you're with Peg now
336
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:32,520
I thought if I just gave the world a
little push, it would all fall into place
337
00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:38,680
- Well, at least you tried, dear
- Perhaps I should call, Anne
338
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,360
She left you, let her go
339
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:50,600
I just don't know
what's going to happen next
340
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:58,040
Don't you worry
my little boy, the future's ours now
341
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,560
And there are many ways of finding it
342
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:06,720
Turn the light out, Bill
343
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:33,040
Mr. Sellers? Maurice
Woodruff, you wish to see me
344
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,720
Roger Moore speaks very highly of you
345
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:40,560
As he should, come, the future is this way
346
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:59,640
You are aware that green is the
unluckiest color in the spectrum?
347
00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:02,760
- It is?
- It's positively fatal
348
00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:15,240
- You feel better?
- Immensely
349
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,360
So, what else is troubling you?
350
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,440
You're the fortuneteller
shouldn't you already know?
351
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,640
Even fortune's pump needs priming
352
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:39,120
Uh, I keep making changes
353
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:43,640
you know, big ones and little ones
354
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,680
Always hoping that the
next one will be the right one
355
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,640
I lost weight, I bought new clothes
356
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:53,920
I changed my radio job for a film career
357
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,960
I changed my marriage into a divorce
358
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:02,040
Nothing makes me happy the
way that I'm supposed to be happy
359
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:06,120
One can't be happy, if one's lonely
360
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:27,120
Spirits are telling me that there
will be many pretty ladies, in your life
361
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,800
You see, Peter
you don't mind if I call you Peter?
362
00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:35,520
- No
- You like pretty ladies?
363
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:39,840
You're quite a perceptive man, Maurice
364
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,640
Hello, ladies, yes, it is me
365
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:10,520
A very good day to you sir
welcome to our showroom
366
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,680
It's absolutely delightful
367
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:17,680
As you can see, we...
we do have all the latest models
368
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:23,480
- Here's a sporty little number
- Mm, superb
369
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,520
Or, perhaps something
more along these lines
370
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,560
Big grille on this one
371
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:33,560
Oh, yes, sir, I have
one of these myself, sir
372
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,720
- May I?
- Please
373
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:42,560
Ah, the Germans are amazing, aren't they?
How about, engine noise?
374
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,880
Well, she'll certainly growl
when you're hard on the floor, sir
375
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,280
Rest of the time, silent as a kitten
376
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,120
Me-ow
377
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:59,040
So, what will it take to get
sir into one of these today?
378
00:39:00,360 --> 00:39:02,280
A test drive
379
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,640
Emma, how fast do
you run the quarter mile?
380
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,360
Honestly, Mr. Sellers
381
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:15,360
Thank you Emma, that'll be all
382
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:25,760
Blake Edwards, is shooting a David
Niven movie, in Rome and Switzerland
383
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,320
Starts filming next week, wants you
384
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:29,760
- Next week?
- Mm-hmm
385
00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:31,560
He obviously hasn't
wanted me for that long
386
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:33,000
It's a supporting part
387
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,160
Peter Ustinov's pulled out
388
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:39,120
Oh, well, yes of course, I'll do it
389
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:43,560
Any part not good enough for
Ustinov, is perfectly fine for me
390
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,880
- Peter
- I'm not taking Ustinov's sloppy seconds
391
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:50,880
I won the fucking British
Academy Award for god's sake!
392
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,320
Are you going to overreact
393
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:56,280
or are you going to listen to why your
very smart agent wants you to do this?
394
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:58,960
Apparently I'm going to overreact
395
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,120
Go on
396
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,640
Blake Edwards is the hottest
director in Hollywood right now
397
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,840
"Days of Wine and Roses"
"Breakfast at Tiffany's"
398
00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:19,040
He can get anyone he wants
and Peter, he wants you
399
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:22,320
United Artist is putting a lot
of weight behind this picture
400
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,640
It's gonna get very wide
very international release
401
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:27,640
Now, you may be a big star in Britain, love
402
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,280
but the folks in Duluth
have never heard of you
403
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,120
Well, we're even
I've never heard of Duluth
404
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,400
It's in United States
405
00:40:37,240 --> 00:40:41,160
Oh, that Duluth
406
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:45,840
It's called "The Pink Panther"
407
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:50,840
Sounds like a bloody strip joint, for poofs
408
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,800
Please, try mine
409
00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,560
Excuse me
but aren't you Peter Sellers?
410
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,640
Not today
411
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:54,280
Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to make
our final approach into Rome International
412
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,840
- Uh, excusez-moi
- Please take your seat, sir
413
00:41:56,960 --> 00:42:01,520
Please ensure your seatbelts are fastened
and your seats are in the upright position
414
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:05,200
- Sir
- Yes, I'm looking for my trunk
415
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,320
- Your trun?
- What?
416
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:12,360
- Y... you said trun?
- I know perfectly well what I said
417
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:15,080
Right, I don't understand
418
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,080
Are you not familiar with
Her Majesty's tongue?
419
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:25,960
Yes, I am, and I can assure you the
word trun, does not exist in our language
420
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,440
Then I demand to speak
to the person in charge
421
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,000
I am the person in charge, sir
422
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:34,040
- Ah, then I demand to speak with you
- Uh... you are speaking to me
423
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:35,600
Of course I'm speaking with you
424
00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:40,760
What kind of a crazy stewardess thinks
a passenger stands speaking with himself?
425
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:44,440
What kind of a passenger puts everyone's
lives at risk just before a landing?
426
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:46,000
Our lives are at risk?
427
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,200
Our live are not at risk
428
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:53,640
Now sit down and belt up
I'm getting completely lost
429
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:55,080
Lost?
430
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,480
Yes, I have a sly
instinct of emergency
431
00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:01,440
- Do not fear, read another magazine
- French twit
432
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:07,880
I want you to go very quietly
and speak with the pee-lot
433
00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:09,760
- Pee-lot?
- What?
434
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,200
You said pee-lot
435
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:13,280
I know very well what I said
436
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:18,160
I have a funny feeling we might be
landing in Rome sooner than we think
437
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,240
Do be careful Mr. Sellers
438
00:43:50,720 --> 00:43:54,720
Carol, our guest has arrived
will you take his coat, please?
439
00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:00,280
And he also looks a little thirsty, Jill?
440
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:09,240
Ah yes, Switzerland, of course
441
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:11,760
Come here Jill
442
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:19,320
- Hi, Greg Anderson
- Running things on a shoestring, I see
443
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,320
- Well, welcome to Hollywood
- This is Italy
444
00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,240
Hollywood is a state of mind
445
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:28,240
I've got one or two
ideas about Clouseau
446
00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:30,320
- Couple bits of business I'd like to...
- Peter
447
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,960
The script will be shot as written
448
00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,440
- Yes but in the bedroom scene...
- I mean it
449
00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:41,640
You believe this guy?
450
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,040
Okay, you look great
451
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:47,440
Let's shoot this, now this
is where we introduce Clouseau
452
00:44:47,560 --> 00:44:50,560
And we tip off the audience
that your wife is David's mistress
453
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,880
Now, we're kind of in
a hurry because we only have...
454
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:55,480
Niven until two o'clock
so I'd like to get this in one take
455
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:57,120
- Ready?
- Set go
456
00:44:57,240 --> 00:44:59,760
Okay, he's only got one line
just keep him in the frame, okay?
457
00:44:59,880 --> 00:45:03,040
Whatever he does
Henri, you wanna take your mark?
458
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:07,360
Okay, one ninety-two, A, take one
459
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:09,520
Action
460
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:36,960
We must find that woman
461
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,240
Is that what you said?
462
00:45:48,240 --> 00:45:49,760
- Tell me you got that
- We got it!
463
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,480
Testing
464
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:56,160
On the set of Pink Panther in Gstaad
Switzerland with Peter Sellers
465
00:45:56,680 --> 00:46:03,520
Peter, how are you able to inhabit
your characters so successfully?
466
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:10,160
Uh, well, you see, I don't really
have any personality of my own
467
00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:14,440
There used to be a me behind the
mask, then I had it surgically removed
468
00:46:15,840 --> 00:46:21,600
I don't know, if I didn't have characters
like Clouseau, I don't know who I'd be
469
00:46:21,720 --> 00:46:23,040
Perhaps I'd be you
470
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,800
But then, if I were you
who would you be?
471
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:29,920
- You
- Uh, that's very good
472
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:35,080
So... word is you're stealing
this movie from David Niven
473
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,440
No, no, no, no, no, that's ridiculous
474
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,640
This, this is such a team effort
475
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:45,920
David Niven, is one of the cinemas
most distinguished leading men
476
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,960
One can learn a lot from
people like that, you know
477
00:46:59,720 --> 00:47:02,400
Terrific, Blake
talk tomorrow about that
478
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:06,360
Good show, the frogs
will never forgive you, well done
479
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:08,560
- Thank you David
- Genius
480
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:15,560
I'm not supposed to tell you but, United
Artist already wants a Clouseau sequel
481
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:19,280
- Who's directing?
- Oh probably some hack
482
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:21,360
I'm dead fucking serious
483
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,880
- Peter, relax
- You're not suggesting you would?
484
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,040
- What are you talking about?
- I was bloody awful up there
485
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,440
If that's what your gonna get out of me
I don't think I want to repeat the experience
486
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,360
You're blaming me
for your performance?
487
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,840
- So you agree, I was awful
- I thought you were brilliant
488
00:47:35,960 --> 00:47:39,000
- What the fuck do you know?
- Peter
489
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,640
We're all going out
you just have to come
490
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:45,120
Ah, hello, young-hee
491
00:47:45,240 --> 00:47:47,240
- So-mee
- Oh, that's so you
492
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:49,800
I knew there was
a pronoun involved
493
00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:52,520
Blakey, aren't you coming?
494
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:02,080
meanwhile, on the
American entertainment beat
495
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:05,840
Crowds continue to flock
to see The Pink Panther
496
00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:10,360
One avid patron, waiting in line
to see the film for the third time
497
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:12,000
was heard to remark
498
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:18,880
I love foreign films, Peter Sellers
is my absolute favorite French actor
499
00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:24,520
Peter, you've got a hit
you shouldn't be here
500
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:27,720
How long has he been like this?
501
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:30,160
Since last Monday
502
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,200
You didn't tell me
503
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,240
Peg said you couldn't come
504
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,000
Well I'm here now, dad
505
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:09,480
Pete, bloke in the next bed
506
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,360
I promised him your autograph
507
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:33,840
- I'll get right on to that dad
- He'll like that
508
00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:39,440
I told him...
509
00:49:40,880 --> 00:49:42,560
my son...
510
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,840
was a special boy
511
00:49:57,800 --> 00:50:00,120
No let him rest now
512
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:02,920
Let him rest
513
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:55,080
The reporters
they'll want some remarks
514
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:06,200
You didn't call me
515
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,200
Hello, is Spike there?
516
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,840
Oh, do you know
when he'll be back?
517
00:51:29,240 --> 00:51:31,400
All right, no, bye
518
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,440
- Is Harry there, please?
- Peter, its uh... it's Harry
519
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:44,720
How are you?
Is there anything I can do?
520
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:46,440
No, no, no, I'm fine
I'm looking after Mike
521
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:48,360
and I just thought you
might like to pop over for a beer
522
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,320
To be honest Peter, I'm up north, so...
523
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:54,680
- Oh, is that today? I forgot, yeah
- Why don't we say Monday?
524
00:51:54,800 --> 00:51:57,000
- Uh, right
- Ying tong, mate
525
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:58,520
Yiddle! Poo!
526
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:03,320
Mike, put that down
put that down, please
527
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:04,800
Thank you
528
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:07,880
Go to your room
529
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:16,800
Whoo
530
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:27,480
Here it is, here it is
531
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:30,000
Welcome to my humble chapeau
532
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:35,040
Hmm, hmm
533
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:36,840
Ooh
534
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:46,600
Mmm, God
535
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,320
I, I don't seem to be able to get it in
536
00:52:50,880 --> 00:52:53,320
Just hang on...
537
00:52:53,440 --> 00:52:55,360
- Good evening, Mr. Sellers
- Huh?
538
00:52:58,320 --> 00:53:00,040
Oh, Christ
539
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:03,680
You nearly gave me a heart attack
540
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:06,160
You're a hard man to get a hold of
541
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,320
- Not lately
- God
542
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,800
Linda, I'd like you
to meet Stanley Kubrick
543
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,320
It's nice to meet you
544
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:21,080
So, uh, Peter, Columbia won't let
me make my next picture without you
545
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,760
- Awfully insightful of them
- Yeah
546
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:28,960
- What's the part?
- All of them
547
00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,680
What, the whole film?
548
00:53:41,360 --> 00:53:43,400
You can destroy the world, Peter
549
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:45,760
Fine, I can hear you now, Dimitri
550
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:49,120
Clear and plain and coming through fine
551
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:53,560
Yes, it's good that
you're fine, and, and I'm fine
552
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:58,560
And I agree with you
it's great to be fine
553
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:05,400
Now then, Dimitri
you know how we've always talked
554
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:09,920
about the possibility of something
going wrong with the bomb?
555
00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:12,600
The Hydrogen bomb
556
00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:20,120
Now what happened is, one of our
base commanders... he had a sort of, well
557
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:24,000
he went a little funny
in the head, just a little funny
558
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,440
You know? And he
went and did a silly thing
559
00:54:30,720 --> 00:54:32,280
Oh, now don't be mad at me, Dimitri
560
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:35,320
Remember that time
we were dancing with Natalia?
561
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:40,040
You remember Natalia
the girl with the huge, arthritic problem
562
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:44,360
Sorry Stan
563
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:55,080
I can assure you, I can assure you
Major Bat Guano, if that is indeed your name
564
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:58,400
Do... put that gun away
and stop this nonsense
565
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:02,320
The court inquiry on this is gonna
come down on you like a ton of bricks
566
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:06,720
The court inquiry on this is gonna
give you... give you such a pranging
567
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:08,720
Mr. Sellers?
568
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,120
Ah, Hillary, what
happened to my luncheon?
569
00:55:11,240 --> 00:55:13,560
Ah, you... uhm... your mother's here
570
00:55:15,440 --> 00:55:17,560
Shall I tell her you're in make-up?
571
00:55:23,120 --> 00:55:25,240
No, I'll be right there
572
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,000
You missed Sarah's birthday
573
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:36,080
Peter, you know the press pay
a lot of attention to that sort of thing
574
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:41,440
You know, liebchen, that is
not chicken that you're eating
575
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:48,680
Anyway, I told the man at the times that you
were busy filming, but you'd sent your love
576
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,320
and that nothing was more
important to you than your children
577
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,560
Mm, I think he was satisfied with that
578
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:58,400
Oh, uh...
579
00:56:00,560 --> 00:56:02,400
Sarah made you that
580
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:09,680
Eat your lunch
581
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:18,760
You know, in the coming years
the nuclear family as we know it
582
00:56:18,880 --> 00:56:20,960
will have ceased to exist
583
00:56:25,520 --> 00:56:32,760
All human requirements will be
dealt with, cleanly and efficiently
584
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:40,160
Nourishment, leisure pastimes
585
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,680
Sexual partners
586
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:49,520
All these problems
will be regulated by the state
587
00:56:50,400 --> 00:56:53,040
So you see
there will be no need for food
588
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:54,560
Arggh!
589
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:56,440
Or mothers!
590
00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:14,040
How was lunch with
your son, Mrs. Sellers?
591
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:18,960
I don't know, really, I didn't see him
592
00:57:35,720 --> 00:57:37,360
Anybody home?
593
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:40,000
In here, hello, you
594
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:43,080
Annie, Annie, Annie, Mm
595
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,400
- Sarah Sellers?
- I'm Sarah
596
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:54,720
Oh, there you go then, dearie
597
00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:57,880
Let's open it
598
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:00,760
For seven-year-old Sarah
599
00:58:00,880 --> 00:58:04,040
Maybe one day I'll teach
you to ride it, love, daddy
600
00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:05,600
Just sign here, ma'am
601
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:08,600
Go and have a look, love
602
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:10,400
Thanks
603
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:15,800
Boys, boy, I said boy, I said boy
604
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:19,040
Boys, lets' get this thing on the hump
we got some flying to do
605
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:20,640
- Flying to do
- Flatter
606
00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:24,680
I'm not playing a bomber pilot
what can I do with that? Crammed in there
607
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:26,120
Oh, look
608
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:28,080
Let me just hear it again
let me hear it again
609
00:58:28,200 --> 00:58:29,760
Three characters is enough
three characters is enough...
610
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:31,520
Three is a good number
611
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:33,040
You're being paid for four
612
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:35,320
You're stretching me too thin Stanley
613
00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:37,760
Who do you think I am?
Who do you think I am?
614
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:40,120
I think you're whoever I want you to be
615
00:58:40,240 --> 00:58:42,680
Then who am I now?
Then who am I now?
616
00:58:45,080 --> 00:58:50,080
Peter, have you ever heart
of mutually assured destruction?
617
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:52,280
Hum a few bars and I'll join in
618
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:59,440
It refers to when both sides
in an atomic conflict are so powerful
619
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:02,120
that if either side were to take action
620
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:06,840
It would inevitably result in the
total annihilation of all concerned
621
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:10,640
I find this concept can
be applied to many situations
622
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:18,400
You're a peculiar fucker, Stan
623
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:20,480
Wait, Peter
624
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:23,040
Peter
625
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,920
Clear the lattice please
and finish off this painting
626
00:59:30,480 --> 00:59:32,800
You've got no idea
what it's like to be me
627
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:34,440
we haven't got time
628
00:59:40,320 --> 00:59:44,320
Absolute control is a useful thing
629
00:59:46,640 --> 00:59:52,280
Eliminate the personal element
and you can get so much more done
630
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:58,400
This was a realization that
Peter Sellers never had to face
631
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:02,200
because there was
no person there to begin with
632
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:12,080
He was a vessel, into which, characters
and personalities ran like phantoms
633
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:19,400
But even an empty vessel
can become too full
634
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:24,000
I'm not getting it!
635
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:27,800
I'm useless!
636
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:36,760
Sarah... your father is
a useless, talentless, empty man
637
01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:38,360
Did you know that?
638
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:43,200
- Yes, daddy
- Right then
639
01:00:52,720 --> 01:00:54,040
Dad?
640
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:56,240
Use the other loo, Mike, I'm busy
641
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,760
I don't have to go, dad
642
01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:04,640
Please open the door
643
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:16,280
- What do you want?
- Are you all right?
644
01:01:16,640 --> 01:01:20,200
No, I'm not all right
I'm not all right at all
645
01:01:20,320 --> 01:01:22,640
You see, I can't find
the voice for Major King Kong
646
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:24,640
That's all anybody hires me for
647
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:27,480
I can't find it because it's not there!
648
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:33,040
- Dad?
- Your dad doesn't exist
649
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,040
Where's the bloody seconal?
650
01:01:53,840 --> 01:02:00,240
Dad, when I didn't want to play rugby
at school, I said I was sick when I wasn't
651
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:06,880
They let me sit in the nurse's
office, she was very pretty
652
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:13,400
Was she?
653
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:29,320
Morning, Stan
654
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:36,560
Afraid I had a spot of bother
getting out of a cab last night
655
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:39,520
Damned nuisance
656
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:44,440
The doctor assures me
it's only a hairline crack
657
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:54,480
Just don't let the
insurance chaps find out
658
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:02,560
Blake Edwards has got this new
Panther script and uh, Sellers is waffling
659
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:06,480
so, uh... if you could
help convince him to do it
660
01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:11,680
Exactly, right, blake Edwards
661
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:15,600
I'll have my girl wire the money
today, what's the account?
662
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:22,040
The Midland Bank, Mayfair Branch
account number 46-25-01
663
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:23,560
Right, thanks, bubeleh
664
01:03:23,680 --> 01:03:25,560
Not at all, pleasure
doing business with you
665
01:03:25,680 --> 01:03:27,640
Oh, a word of advice for free
666
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:31,560
Don't even think of driving
a red or a white car this weekend
667
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:33,440
- Okay, thanks
- Not at all
668
01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:43,120
So... Fsh... Pink Panther
no, no, too obvious
669
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:48,800
Blake Edwards, mm, B.E.
670
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:55,520
Well, hooray for Hollywood
671
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:01,080
That's extraordinary
672
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,240
Oh Peter, this is good news
673
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:06,920
You're gonna become involved
with a very special person
674
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:10,320
It's gonna spawn
a very fruitful partnership
675
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:14,920
Do you know I'm
even getting the initials?
676
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:18,360
It's uh... ah, V.E.
677
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:24,560
It's uh V.P., V.E., V.P. V.E. no, B. B.E.
678
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:28,280
Peter, you must not let this person go
679
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,840
Destiny's already written
this chapter of your life
680
01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:33,520
You must act positively
681
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:38,280
Yeah? So... say with me, B.E.
682
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:42,480
- B.E.
- B.E.
683
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:44,480
- B.E.
- B.E.
684
01:04:44,600 --> 01:04:48,040
- B.E.
- B.E.
685
01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:58,680
Mr. Sellers, sir?
686
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:00,280
Oh
687
01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:03,280
What?
688
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:06,800
Mr. Sellers, are you in there?
689
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:12,520
- Mr. Sellers
- Go away
690
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:17,160
Are you sure you're all right, sir?
691
01:05:17,280 --> 01:05:19,120
Yes I am
692
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:23,440
Just take your fresh fruit
and shove it up your ass
693
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:26,400
Right-O, sir
thank you very much, sir
694
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:42,880
Britt Ekland
695
01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:50,000
Hello, Britt, you must be Britt
696
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:51,520
You're Britt Ekland
697
01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:53,960
I'm Peter
698
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:57,640
Peter Sellers, but call me Peter, baby
699
01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:00,440
Oh, sorry
700
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:06,000
Pow, yow, sss
701
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:10,640
B.E.
702
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:12,480
P.S.
703
01:06:12,720 --> 01:06:14,480
That's nice
704
01:06:19,840 --> 01:06:22,720
l like Swedes, mashed
705
01:06:27,360 --> 01:06:32,200
Hello, I'm Peter, Peter Sellers
706
01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:34,640
Like you, I didn't have
much on this evening
707
01:06:34,760 --> 01:06:38,200
and I wanted to know
if you'd like to go and see a movie
708
01:06:40,560 --> 01:06:42,120
Hmm?
709
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:34,960
I think I'm in love with you
710
01:07:37,000 --> 01:07:42,360
- But you've just met me
- Then it's still fresh in my mind
711
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:50,920
- Cookie?
- Yes, please
712
01:07:59,560 --> 01:08:03,520
That's very, very good
just look here, look here, super
713
01:08:03,640 --> 01:08:06,440
Super, yes, that's right
now just look here
714
01:08:06,560 --> 01:08:08,000
Look here, good
715
01:08:08,120 --> 01:08:10,680
Very nice, I'll come in closer
716
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:12,920
Oh, it's all right, I've met this sofa
717
01:08:13,360 --> 01:08:15,040
We're on intimate terms
718
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:20,200
Yes, now, oh
work with me, that is good
719
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:24,480
Thinks: must take up
photography as full-time job
720
01:08:24,960 --> 01:08:28,960
Now I need to get in closer
come the full length, come the full length
721
01:08:29,240 --> 01:08:31,920
Yes, mind if I sit here?
722
01:08:32,040 --> 01:08:35,480
Oh God, I haven't felt leather like
this on my thighs since the Third Reich
723
01:08:35,600 --> 01:08:38,480
Yee-poot, let's get rid of that there
724
01:08:41,480 --> 01:08:43,600
Truly, truly beautiful
725
01:08:56,240 --> 01:08:58,800
She is the most extraordinary girl
726
01:08:58,920 --> 01:09:01,400
Like a tulip about to bloom
727
01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:06,600
Absolutely exquisite
phenomenal in bed
728
01:09:08,560 --> 01:09:10,640
It is funny, isn't it?
729
01:09:11,160 --> 01:09:12,880
I keep saying that I'll
never get hooked again
730
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:14,560
That I'm tired of having my heart bleed
731
01:09:14,680 --> 01:09:17,800
Yet here I am
I think I want to marry her!
732
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:22,400
That is, if you think it's okay
733
01:09:30,400 --> 01:09:31,920
Oh, decisions, decisions...
734
01:09:32,040 --> 01:09:33,360
Would you like to come
to my suite, my sweet?
735
01:09:33,480 --> 01:09:37,000
Drive on James, now
736
01:09:40,320 --> 01:09:45,760
Ooh, it's the cops of normal
it's all right officer, I'm fully licensed
737
01:09:48,240 --> 01:09:52,400
Oh, so sorry my darling, oh
738
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:58,640
Care to put on some music, love?
739
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:09,400
- It doesn't work
- Ah, well, don't trouble yourself sweetheart
740
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:12,360
There are many ways
of making beautiful music
741
01:10:12,480 --> 01:10:13,880
Cheers
742
01:10:21,120 --> 01:10:23,120
It's a bit dark in here
could you get the curtains, darling?
743
01:10:23,240 --> 01:10:25,520
It's that little switch, there
744
01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:45,760
You make me feel so young
745
01:10:47,200 --> 01:10:50,960
You make me feel
like spring has sprung
746
01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:58,920
And every time I see you grin
I'm such a happy, individual
747
01:10:59,040 --> 01:11:01,520
The moment that you speak...
748
01:11:02,640 --> 01:11:06,400
I wanna go play hide and seek
749
01:11:06,640 --> 01:11:13,160
I wanna go and bounce
the moon just like a toy balloon
750
01:11:13,880 --> 01:11:20,440
You and I... are just like a couple of tots
751
01:11:21,520 --> 01:11:25,000
running cross the meadow
752
01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:29,480
Picking up lots of forget-me-nots
753
01:11:29,640 --> 01:11:32,520
You made me feel so young
754
01:11:32,840 --> 01:11:34,680
- What do you say?
- You made me feel there's something's up
755
01:11:34,800 --> 01:11:37,040
Would you care to become
the second Mrs. Sellers?
756
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:44,240
place to belong and wonderful
thing to be young, and even when I'm...
757
01:11:44,360 --> 01:11:46,920
Better hurry up, love, I've only
got the band for another half hour
758
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:51,520
I'm gonna feel the way I do, today
759
01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:59,040
Cause you make me feel so young
760
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:07,960
You make me feel so young
761
01:12:13,680 --> 01:12:16,080
I love you, Peter!
762
01:12:16,520 --> 01:12:19,400
Oh, you hear that folks?
763
01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:22,840
- She loves me on magnetic, striped film
- Here we go! Here we go!
764
01:12:23,680 --> 01:12:25,760
Daddy, let's go over there
765
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:56,400
So Peg, what do you
think of the new cottage?
766
01:12:56,520 --> 01:12:57,840
You're watering the gin
767
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:00,520
Well, in your case
perhaps that's not a bad idea
768
01:13:02,800 --> 01:13:05,480
You've only known that
bleeding Nazi for three weeks
769
01:13:05,600 --> 01:13:08,120
Peg, I couldn't be happier
770
01:13:08,480 --> 01:13:11,240
Why are you making
the same mistake all over again?
771
01:13:11,360 --> 01:13:15,040
Because, my love
they won't let me marry you
772
01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:17,280
Mr. Sellers, how's about
a shot of you and your mum?
773
01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:20,360
So where are you
going for your honeymoon?
774
01:13:20,480 --> 01:13:23,840
Where else, Peg? Hollywood, U.S. of A.
775
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:32,880
- Happy, darling?
- I'm about to be
776
01:13:40,880 --> 01:13:48,560
Oh, that's good, oh, that's good, oh my God
you are very good, in uh... wait, wait, wait
777
01:13:48,680 --> 01:13:50,560
- Ah
- Wait
778
01:13:51,480 --> 01:13:54,880
- No
- Breath, breath, breath in
779
01:14:22,960 --> 01:14:27,440
- Are you sure you're my wife?
- What do you mean?
780
01:14:27,720 --> 01:14:31,280
Because no wife should
be that good in the sack
781
01:14:37,360 --> 01:14:39,560
Is that what I look like?
782
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:46,280
Just, one minute
783
01:14:53,280 --> 01:14:54,600
Oy!
784
01:14:56,400 --> 01:14:58,560
- Arrgh!
- Peter?
785
01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:02,080
- Arrgh! Arrgh!
- Peter?
786
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:05,880
- Argh, Britt call the doctor, would you? Oh
- Peter
787
01:15:09,400 --> 01:15:11,680
- Here we go
- Blood to lab
788
01:15:13,640 --> 01:15:16,720
Just, try to breath, Peter
789
01:15:19,080 --> 01:15:20,640
Oh, would you wait
outside Mrs. Sellers?
790
01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:22,080
- It's gonna be fine
- No
791
01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:23,640
Please
792
01:15:24,920 --> 01:15:26,680
He's arrested
793
01:15:26,960 --> 01:15:30,120
- Okay, let's charge to one twenty
- One twenty
794
01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:37,840
Clear
795
01:15:38,720 --> 01:15:40,840
- No pulse
- And so the news...
796
01:15:40,960 --> 01:15:42,640
- Peter, come on
- in theater, Peter Sellers
797
01:15:42,760 --> 01:15:47,040
who is tonight fighting
for his life in a California hospital
798
01:15:47,160 --> 01:15:50,000
Mr. Selllers has
suffered a serious setback
799
01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:53,920
His condition is said
to be grave and deteriorating
800
01:15:56,080 --> 01:15:57,440
No pulse
801
01:15:59,360 --> 01:16:00,720
Clear
802
01:16:06,560 --> 01:16:07,880
There you go
803
01:16:09,600 --> 01:16:11,600
Oh God, mother
804
01:16:11,880 --> 01:16:14,560
Mother, we've only
been married for six weeks
805
01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:23,240
They don't know, mother
I don't know
806
01:16:24,000 --> 01:16:26,440
- Patient's coded, Doctor
- Damn! He's gone again
807
01:16:26,680 --> 01:16:29,920
- Okay, charge to one eighty
- One eighty
808
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:40,960
Clear
809
01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:46,960
Although we have been informed that his
father, Mr. William Sellers also succumbed
810
01:16:47,480 --> 01:16:51,680
having come to fame some years ago
as a member of the BBC's "Goon Show"...
811
01:16:51,800 --> 01:16:53,560
- Both channels
- Mr. Sellers has enjoyed...
812
01:16:53,680 --> 01:16:55,240
an extremely successful career
813
01:16:55,360 --> 01:16:58,240
- Clear
- Still no pulse
814
01:16:58,360 --> 01:17:00,400
- Charge to two forty
- Two forty
815
01:17:04,840 --> 01:17:06,280
Clear
816
01:17:08,960 --> 01:17:11,120
Come on Peter, come on
817
01:17:54,160 --> 01:17:57,200
Please do give my regards
to your president of costumes...
818
01:17:57,320 --> 01:17:59,800
And I thought I knew something
about the movie scene
819
01:17:59,920 --> 01:18:01,640
Produce their machine
820
01:18:01,760 --> 01:18:04,000
Peter, I think you've
had a little too much...
821
01:18:04,120 --> 01:18:06,360
It is essential that we do not have fear...
822
01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:12,280
No hesitation
823
01:18:17,440 --> 01:18:19,520
Well, you've got enough for...
824
01:18:19,640 --> 01:18:22,840
Without having any more contact
825
01:18:22,960 --> 01:18:24,280
Tell the world
826
01:18:48,000 --> 01:18:50,360
Oh, it's me, right away!
827
01:18:50,480 --> 01:18:51,920
Arrgh!
828
01:19:03,160 --> 01:19:06,440
Okay, we got him back
let's get an I.V. in
829
01:19:12,880 --> 01:19:14,400
Quiet, okay?
830
01:19:19,960 --> 01:19:21,720
Hello children
831
01:19:35,920 --> 01:19:38,480
Can I have a little fairy kiss?
832
01:19:42,480 --> 01:19:47,800
The spirits have spoken
daddy's come back from the dead
833
01:19:48,440 --> 01:19:52,120
And nothing can ever hurt him again
834
01:19:59,360 --> 01:20:01,040
Peter!
835
01:20:01,680 --> 01:20:03,320
Peter?!
836
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:17,440
Peter!
837
01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:25,040
You're still weak
838
01:20:26,480 --> 01:20:28,880
This isn't taking care of yourself
839
01:20:29,000 --> 01:20:30,760
From now on there'll
be no more characters
840
01:20:30,880 --> 01:20:32,560
No more costumes
841
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:42,160
Starting next week, the world's gonna
get a look at the real, Peter Sellers
842
01:20:43,040 --> 01:20:45,080
What's next week?
843
01:21:14,080 --> 01:21:18,200
Who are you?
How did you get past my guards?
844
01:21:18,320 --> 01:21:20,440
Good evening, darling
my name is Bond
845
01:21:20,560 --> 01:21:24,360
James Bond, you know
846
01:21:31,400 --> 01:21:34,520
Aren't you going
to do something funny?
847
01:21:38,560 --> 01:21:42,840
- Cut!
- Cameras cut! First positions everyone!
848
01:21:43,440 --> 01:21:46,080
- How're we doing Peter?
- We're going again!
849
01:21:46,200 --> 01:21:50,480
Uhm fell free to uh, improvise
850
01:21:50,600 --> 01:21:53,080
We're doing a spoof here, remember?
851
01:21:53,200 --> 01:21:56,600
I'm playing it straight
as myself, like Cary Grant
852
01:21:59,160 --> 01:22:01,080
That's funny, yeah!
853
01:22:01,200 --> 01:22:05,000
Ha! That's, that's very good, yeah, yeah
854
01:22:05,120 --> 01:22:06,480
Satirical, yeah
855
01:22:07,840 --> 01:22:10,080
Good evening, darling
my name is Bond
856
01:22:10,360 --> 01:22:12,480
James Bond
857
01:22:20,000 --> 01:22:22,360
My God, but you're lovely
858
01:22:23,040 --> 01:22:24,920
Ouch! Shisa!
859
01:22:36,600 --> 01:22:39,920
That was great! Genius!
860
01:23:09,720 --> 01:23:12,680
Well, we meet again, I had a feeling
you wouldn't give up so easily
861
01:23:12,800 --> 01:23:16,080
Bloody Christ, when are
you coming back to the set?
862
01:23:16,200 --> 01:23:17,560
Wouldn't you like to know?
863
01:23:17,680 --> 01:23:21,720
Seeing as we're three weeks
behind schedule, yeah, I would
864
01:23:22,960 --> 01:23:27,040
You know, Joe, I think today
is not a lucky day, not lucky at all
865
01:23:27,160 --> 01:23:28,920
The voices are telling me not to risk it
866
01:23:29,040 --> 01:23:31,880
I hear voices too, Peter
867
01:23:32,000 --> 01:23:34,120
And you know what they tell me?
868
01:23:34,240 --> 01:23:37,800
They tell me that if you're
not on the set by this afternoon
869
01:23:37,920 --> 01:23:40,640
both your legs are gonna be broken!
870
01:23:43,600 --> 01:23:46,920
I don't think we're
hearing the same voices
871
01:23:49,240 --> 01:23:53,680
Peter, you wanker!
Get back here, now!
872
01:24:31,040 --> 01:24:34,880
- Hello
- Just answering nature's call
873
01:24:49,400 --> 01:24:52,160
I'm not feeling very well
874
01:24:52,440 --> 01:24:55,600
Darling, there are lots
of other bathrooms in the house
875
01:24:56,080 --> 01:24:57,920
That's not what I meant
876
01:25:00,680 --> 01:25:04,400
- What?
- I'm pregnant
877
01:25:11,040 --> 01:25:16,080
Oh, well... I suppose
you'll have to, you know...
878
01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:18,280
What?
879
01:25:18,800 --> 01:25:22,560
Well, have an abortion, sweetheart
I'm sure it can be arranged
880
01:25:22,680 --> 01:25:26,120
No, I want this child
881
01:25:26,240 --> 01:25:29,320
- I've got two already, have one of mine
- Peter
882
01:25:29,920 --> 01:25:32,960
I want to be a mother to our child
883
01:25:34,440 --> 01:25:38,600
I've always given you room
for what you needed
884
01:25:38,720 --> 01:25:41,520
- Darling, is now the right time?
- Yes
885
01:25:42,680 --> 01:25:46,680
You are healthy, we are in love
886
01:25:49,800 --> 01:25:52,400
Peter, let's have this baby
887
01:25:56,160 --> 01:25:59,680
- Bombs away
- Oh, plop
888
01:26:04,680 --> 01:26:09,520
Well, you hurry up
and I go and call mother
889
01:26:33,440 --> 01:26:35,400
Keep breathing, love
890
01:26:35,760 --> 01:26:39,880
Hospital's just up ahead, I think
891
01:26:53,840 --> 01:26:55,320
All right lads, let's give her some air
892
01:26:55,680 --> 01:26:59,160
- Britt, how are you doing?
- Oh, I'm fine
893
01:27:00,320 --> 01:27:02,520
So how does it feel the
third time around Mr. Sellers?
894
01:27:02,640 --> 01:27:04,520
Ecstatic, absolutely thrilling
895
01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:13,240
You'll be fine, just, make it quick
we start filming in a week
896
01:27:14,000 --> 01:27:15,880
- Mr. Sellers?
- Don't you worry Mrs. Sellers
897
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:19,240
You'll be all right
we'll take care of you
898
01:27:31,120 --> 01:27:32,880
Goddamn it!
899
01:27:34,480 --> 01:27:35,800
Cut!
900
01:27:40,080 --> 01:27:42,240
Take the fucking baby
and get the hell off the set
901
01:27:42,360 --> 01:27:44,960
Peter, please, she's fine now
902
01:27:45,080 --> 01:27:47,160
- Off!
- No
903
01:27:47,560 --> 01:27:51,520
- My big scene's coming up
- Not anymore
904
01:28:00,360 --> 01:28:03,960
Fine, you do it, ciao
905
01:28:20,080 --> 01:28:23,320
- Yes?
- Is that my Peter?
906
01:28:23,840 --> 01:28:27,440
Hello, Peg
what's the news from the front?
907
01:28:28,160 --> 01:28:33,200
I'm in a hospital
it's the old heart, Peter
908
01:28:34,200 --> 01:28:36,120
Oh, well we all
know about that one, dear
909
01:28:36,240 --> 01:28:37,840
You'll be up and about in no time
910
01:28:37,960 --> 01:28:40,880
Hmm, that's not
what the doctors say
911
01:28:41,080 --> 01:28:43,000
They're just trying
to bump up their fee, Peg
912
01:28:43,120 --> 01:28:45,080
If they say you're dying and
you walk out under your own steam
913
01:28:45,200 --> 01:28:47,480
they can claim
to have saved your life
914
01:28:49,960 --> 01:28:53,360
Come home love, I need to see you
915
01:28:54,600 --> 01:28:59,880
Nonsense, Peg, all you need is a wash
and-brush-up and you'll be as good as new
916
01:29:01,480 --> 01:29:03,320
Uh, it's not like that
917
01:29:03,440 --> 01:29:06,600
- Listen...
- Just a minute
918
01:29:08,200 --> 01:29:10,880
Your boy is needed
Peg, you understand
919
01:29:11,000 --> 01:29:13,000
I'm a star now
920
01:29:13,120 --> 01:29:15,600
These people
can't do a thing without me
921
01:29:16,160 --> 01:29:19,000
It's everything you ever wanted
922
01:29:20,400 --> 01:29:23,000
I love you Peter
923
01:29:27,600 --> 01:29:31,120
I'll see you soon, we'll go to tea
924
01:29:32,680 --> 01:29:34,080
Peter?
925
01:30:06,680 --> 01:30:09,280
See how strong he was?
926
01:30:14,600 --> 01:30:19,920
Most men would have crumpled
at "I love you, Peter", but not my son
927
01:30:28,560 --> 01:30:31,480
He came through like a champion
928
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:41,480
A star has an obligation to himself
929
01:30:42,360 --> 01:30:44,600
Family weighs you down
930
01:30:48,040 --> 01:30:50,400
You think he was cruel to me?
931
01:30:50,680 --> 01:30:54,880
Of course he was, that just
means that he'd learned his lesson
932
01:31:02,920 --> 01:31:07,680
There are no rungs for
the weak on the ladder of success
933
01:31:13,800 --> 01:31:18,280
And my Peter was a strong climber
934
01:31:44,560 --> 01:31:49,000
Real stars don't have time for tears
935
01:33:10,000 --> 01:33:12,360
Can I get you anything my darling?
936
01:33:13,160 --> 01:33:14,760
Hmm?
937
01:33:17,120 --> 01:33:22,160
Oh Peter, there's nothing
you could have done
938
01:33:24,880 --> 01:33:26,480
Mm?
939
01:33:27,120 --> 01:33:29,480
It's not your fault
940
01:33:31,840 --> 01:33:34,320
It's not your fault
941
01:33:35,520 --> 01:33:37,720
There's nothing you could have done
942
01:33:37,840 --> 01:33:42,800
- Oh, Peter, stop it
- Oh, Peter, stop it, stop it, Peter
943
01:33:43,040 --> 01:33:45,480
Christ woman
can't you say anything real?
944
01:33:45,880 --> 01:33:48,720
First of all, you
can't act, and you can't stop
945
01:33:48,840 --> 01:33:50,760
- You...
- Just shut up!
946
01:33:53,840 --> 01:33:57,960
- You bastard!
- Am I? Am I You've no idea
947
01:33:59,400 --> 01:34:02,440
- Fuck you!
- Oh, fuck you!
948
01:34:12,880 --> 01:34:15,160
You hit me with me mum
949
01:34:17,760 --> 01:34:21,840
Fuck you, Peter!
Fuck you and your mum!
950
01:34:33,440 --> 01:34:36,240
Mama, mama, ma
951
01:35:29,040 --> 01:35:30,720
Birdie, num, num
952
01:35:37,840 --> 01:35:39,240
Oh dear
953
01:35:49,800 --> 01:35:51,120
Well, Mr. Sellers
954
01:35:51,240 --> 01:35:54,560
- Hello
- Who would like to look like?
955
01:35:54,720 --> 01:35:57,360
Why Doctor, I'd like to look like you
956
01:36:05,520 --> 01:36:09,000
You know how they clean theater now?
They put on one of my films
957
01:36:09,120 --> 01:36:12,160
It's so much easier to Hoover
between the empty seats
958
01:36:12,600 --> 01:36:15,360
Now, of course, I've found
something I really want to do
959
01:36:15,480 --> 01:36:18,440
And I can't get anyone
to give me the cash
960
01:36:18,920 --> 01:36:21,800
I've read this ten
times in the last year
961
01:36:21,920 --> 01:36:27,240
The main character is a man
with no self, no discernible personality
962
01:36:28,320 --> 01:36:30,960
I find myself thinking
about this man a great deal
963
01:36:31,080 --> 01:36:35,320
- About how sad he is?
- No, about how marvelous his life must be
964
01:36:35,720 --> 01:36:39,360
He has no future
no past, no responsibilities
965
01:36:39,480 --> 01:36:40,960
He's simple
966
01:36:41,080 --> 01:36:43,920
Boring, an absolute blank
people expect nothing from him
967
01:36:44,040 --> 01:36:46,560
And then love it
when they get just that
968
01:36:48,280 --> 01:36:50,600
This is going to be my next film
969
01:36:50,960 --> 01:36:54,520
- Are you absolutely sure about that?
- Absolutely
970
01:36:55,000 --> 01:36:59,120
Cause, uh...
you do have a choice, you know?
971
01:37:00,880 --> 01:37:02,680
Have you read it?
972
01:37:02,800 --> 01:37:08,480
I've uh... I've made some notes
I think it could be very funny
973
01:37:08,720 --> 01:37:14,320
- I don't like choice, Maurice
- Ah, you're so full of doubt
974
01:37:14,880 --> 01:37:17,400
How can we make
that doubt go away?
975
01:37:17,960 --> 01:37:20,240
We know, don't we?
976
01:37:21,080 --> 01:37:22,440
Peg?
977
01:37:23,080 --> 01:37:24,920
Peg, can you hear me?
978
01:37:25,040 --> 01:37:27,000
Peg sees you, Peter
979
01:37:35,240 --> 01:37:39,480
Hello Peg, I love you Peg
980
01:37:39,800 --> 01:37:42,440
What do you need from me dear?
981
01:37:42,560 --> 01:37:48,200
I don't know what to do next
my heart's been troubling me
982
01:37:48,320 --> 01:37:50,960
And I think... I think my mind
983
01:37:51,080 --> 01:37:56,640
Shh, Peg's here
she's always with you, Peter
984
01:37:56,760 --> 01:38:00,920
Now, I've had a look
at your heart, and your heart's fine
985
01:38:01,040 --> 01:38:04,000
Now, what you need to do is work
986
01:38:04,120 --> 01:38:07,720
You give so much joy
to so many people, Peter
987
01:38:07,840 --> 01:38:10,320
I can see it from here
988
01:38:11,320 --> 01:38:14,400
Do it for me, for your mother
989
01:38:14,640 --> 01:38:17,040
Do another Pink Panther
990
01:38:18,280 --> 01:38:21,560
You sure, Peg?
Are you really sure?
991
01:38:23,480 --> 01:38:30,120
It'll be a huge hit, and that'll give
you the power to make "Being There"
992
01:38:47,320 --> 01:38:50,960
I hear this one's not
coming to a theatre near me
993
01:38:52,880 --> 01:38:56,320
The studio deemed its box
office potential as, uh, limited
994
01:38:58,280 --> 01:39:01,160
Then I suppose this
comes at just the right time
995
01:39:03,360 --> 01:39:05,480
I could never be this broke
996
01:39:07,720 --> 01:39:10,520
It wasn't easy for
me to come here, Peter
997
01:39:12,720 --> 01:39:15,040
Why? Did your
limousine break down?
998
01:39:15,400 --> 01:39:17,400
I considered making you kiss my ass
999
01:39:17,520 --> 01:39:19,600
Not after that
script's been through it
1000
01:39:20,480 --> 01:39:22,800
Still the funniest bastard around
1001
01:39:22,920 --> 01:39:25,440
Look, Peter
I didn't come here out of desperation
1002
01:39:25,560 --> 01:39:27,720
I think it's a good idea
and I can't do it without you
1003
01:39:27,840 --> 01:39:29,920
You need the money, I don't
1004
01:39:30,040 --> 01:39:33,920
And I certainly don't need the aggravation
that you are undoubtedly gonna bring me
1005
01:39:34,760 --> 01:39:37,040
What if I told you to fuck off?
1006
01:39:40,320 --> 01:39:43,400
I'd say your ex-wives will be
very disappointed in that attitude
1007
01:39:43,520 --> 01:39:44,840
Fuck my ex-wives
1008
01:39:44,960 --> 01:39:46,680
I have, now I know
why you divorced them
1009
01:39:53,400 --> 01:40:00,280
Blakey, you are the one son
of a bitch who really understands me
1010
01:40:00,400 --> 01:40:02,640
- God, I love you
- Oh, I love you, Peter
1011
01:40:02,760 --> 01:40:04,360
How sad is that?
1012
01:40:08,120 --> 01:40:10,200
This script could be terrific
1013
01:40:10,320 --> 01:40:13,120
we'll give it the Sellers Edwards touch
I've got lots and lots of ideas
1014
01:40:13,240 --> 01:40:15,520
Yeah, we, we start
shooting in six weeks
1015
01:40:17,800 --> 01:40:19,400
Better make it eight
1016
01:40:21,040 --> 01:40:24,760
- Peter?
- I'm calling the shot here
1017
01:40:54,680 --> 01:40:56,640
Dear God, I am a whore!
1018
01:40:58,680 --> 01:41:01,960
Blake, this is sure to be another stunning
success for you, how does it feel?
1019
01:41:02,080 --> 01:41:04,880
- Well deserved, I can assure you
- Thank you
1020
01:41:08,880 --> 01:41:11,440
Ah, Blakey, is it good to be on...
1021
01:41:11,600 --> 01:41:13,120
- Isn't it?
- Mm-Hmm
1022
01:41:24,360 --> 01:41:28,880
Hello my dear friends, thank
you so much for coming out tonight
1023
01:41:37,920 --> 01:41:41,280
I have something I'd
like very much to say to you all
1024
01:41:41,400 --> 01:41:43,560
We would not
all be here this evening
1025
01:41:43,680 --> 01:41:46,200
If it were not for
the efforts of one man
1026
01:41:46,440 --> 01:41:52,040
One man whose vision you'll soon
see writ large on the silver screen
1027
01:41:52,320 --> 01:41:55,680
I am, of course
referring to Mr. Blake Edwards
1028
01:41:56,480 --> 01:41:58,440
Now get him up there, folks
1029
01:41:58,560 --> 01:42:01,240
Come on, Blakie! Up you come!
1030
01:42:02,120 --> 01:42:03,520
Jolly good
1031
01:42:05,200 --> 01:42:10,440
- Come Blake, take a bow
- Thank you, thank you, thank you
1032
01:42:13,400 --> 01:42:15,840
Let me tell you something
ladies and gentlemen, about this man
1033
01:42:15,960 --> 01:42:20,120
He is absolutely talent less
1034
01:42:22,480 --> 01:42:25,200
No, but seriously
no one, and I repeat that
1035
01:42:25,320 --> 01:42:30,480
No one has managed
to do so much... having so very little
1036
01:42:31,880 --> 01:42:33,280
Come on, gimme that
1037
01:42:33,400 --> 01:42:36,000
People ask me why do I keep
compromising my artistic integrity
1038
01:42:36,120 --> 01:42:38,720
By walking in front
of Blake's camera's
1039
01:42:40,400 --> 01:42:42,400
And you know what I tell them?
1040
01:42:42,520 --> 01:42:45,680
- Money
- It's true
1041
01:42:49,240 --> 01:42:52,000
That and the knowledge that
no matter how bad the picture is
1042
01:42:52,120 --> 01:42:54,400
I'll always be the best thing in it
1043
01:42:55,600 --> 01:42:59,240
- Thank you
- Oh look, he's bashful, folks
1044
01:42:59,360 --> 01:43:00,920
Why shouldn't be he?
1045
01:43:01,040 --> 01:43:03,840
In an industry
that worships mediocrity...
1046
01:43:04,080 --> 01:43:10,320
you Blake, truly have added
new luster to the term, middling talent
1047
01:43:14,520 --> 01:43:19,040
So enjoy the show
if that's at all possible
1048
01:43:30,000 --> 01:43:36,160
I, uh... I knew we
should have gotten Ustinov
1049
01:44:24,760 --> 01:44:27,280
Good afternoon, you've
reached the home of Peter Sellers
1050
01:44:27,400 --> 01:44:29,480
Mr. Sellers is unable to take your call
at the moment
1051
01:44:29,600 --> 01:44:32,080
as he is off leading a normal life
1052
01:44:32,200 --> 01:44:35,080
Please leave your
message after the series of tones
1053
01:44:35,760 --> 01:44:39,320
Oh, hi dad, it's me
Mike, I tried you on the boat
1054
01:44:39,440 --> 01:44:41,800
But Sarah thought
you might be in Switzerland
1055
01:44:42,400 --> 01:44:44,280
Anyway, mum told
me about the operation
1056
01:44:44,400 --> 01:44:47,720
You know, the pacemaker
and everything that must be fun
1057
01:44:47,840 --> 01:44:50,600
I know how you like gadgets, ha ha
1058
01:44:51,160 --> 01:44:55,000
Well, uh... anyway
uh... I hope you're, uh, you're okay
1059
01:44:55,480 --> 01:44:58,880
Uh, right, take care dad, bye
1060
01:45:21,040 --> 01:45:23,920
I'm just an old salty sea dog
1061
01:45:43,400 --> 01:45:45,480
Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay
1062
01:45:57,720 --> 01:45:59,720
Peter, are you in there?
1063
01:46:03,200 --> 01:46:06,120
Will you give me
a Goddamn break already
1064
01:46:12,280 --> 01:46:16,160
You know something Sellers?
You are a major league pain in the ass
1065
01:46:17,080 --> 01:46:19,280
Peter?
1066
01:46:29,360 --> 01:46:32,400
Was he difficult?
This was Hollywood, he was a star
1067
01:46:32,520 --> 01:46:34,280
Of course he was difficult
1068
01:46:34,400 --> 01:46:37,160
You know who's not
difficult? Troy Donahue
1069
01:46:39,080 --> 01:46:42,360
Christ, I need a smoke
1070
01:46:44,600 --> 01:46:47,840
I worked with Sellers for what?
Twenty years, on and off
1071
01:46:52,360 --> 01:46:53,680
Six movies
1072
01:46:54,960 --> 01:47:00,040
I never laughed so hard
I never cried so hard
1073
01:47:02,880 --> 01:47:04,760
The last straw?
1074
01:47:04,880 --> 01:47:06,280
There were endless last straws
1075
01:47:06,400 --> 01:47:09,840
You say, "last straw", five seconds
later, you're saying, "action"
1076
01:47:10,360 --> 01:47:12,080
I can't explain it
1077
01:47:13,000 --> 01:47:15,600
He was like watching a cobra
1078
01:47:16,520 --> 01:47:18,600
You're mesmerized
1079
01:47:21,240 --> 01:47:23,360
What did he do after me?
1080
01:47:27,280 --> 01:47:30,440
The only thing he never gave up on
1081
01:47:33,640 --> 01:47:36,240
They all want me to be a clown
1082
01:47:36,360 --> 01:47:41,160
They'll pay me millions to be a French
mustached, karate-chopping twit
1083
01:47:41,920 --> 01:47:44,080
But this is so much more
1084
01:47:45,200 --> 01:47:47,400
What do you want to do, Peter?
1085
01:47:51,520 --> 01:47:54,040
Isn't that what I just asked you?
1086
01:49:12,080 --> 01:49:13,560
Oh, shut up
1087
01:50:43,880 --> 01:50:46,040
- Yowza
- Huh?
1088
01:50:46,360 --> 01:50:49,600
Ain't you the gentleman this morning?
1089
01:50:52,320 --> 01:50:54,280
I'm gonna go now
1090
01:50:55,400 --> 01:51:00,720
- Yes
- You're gonna need somebody
1091
01:51:01,840 --> 01:51:06,400
You oughta find
yourself a lady, Chance
1092
01:51:06,760 --> 01:51:09,640
Guess it oughta be an old lady
1093
01:51:09,760 --> 01:51:13,800
Cause you ain't gonna
do a young one any good
1094
01:51:13,920 --> 01:51:17,040
Not with that little thing of yours
1095
01:51:19,640 --> 01:51:23,240
You're always gonna
be a little boy, ain't you?
1096
01:51:30,880 --> 01:51:33,080
Bye Chance
1097
01:51:44,040 --> 01:51:45,760
Bye Louise
1098
01:52:01,600 --> 01:52:05,560
Excuse me? Excuse me
aren't you Peter Sellers?
1099
01:52:07,200 --> 01:52:08,920
Yes I am
1100
01:52:09,920 --> 01:52:11,720
Would you mind?
1101
01:52:18,360 --> 01:52:21,680
Thank you, thank you very much
I mean you're, you were a...
1102
01:52:21,920 --> 01:52:24,080
the man, that's it
1103
01:53:13,960 --> 01:53:17,880
You're always gonna
be a little boy, ain't you?
1104
01:53:18,840 --> 01:53:23,600
- Bye, Chance
- Bye, Louise
1105
01:55:04,680 --> 01:55:07,920
Mr. Edwards? Pardon me
but have you seen Mr. Sellers?
1106
01:55:08,040 --> 01:55:10,400
No, and he's twenty
minutes late, did he call?
1107
01:55:10,520 --> 01:55:14,680
No, he's here
I think maybe you should see him
1108
01:55:36,680 --> 01:55:38,240
Ta-da
1109
01:55:44,360 --> 01:55:45,960
Peter?
1110
01:57:49,640 --> 01:57:51,600
You can't come in here
1111
01:57:53,640 --> 01:57:56,640
Prosubtitling
81189