All language subtitles for The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs S29E01 smbr Party Massacre 1080p WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-BFM_track3_[eng]

♪ Hey, everybody,
have you heard the news? ♪

♪ Joe Bob is back in town ♪

♪ He's over at the drive-in,
hanging around ♪

♪ Watching crazy movies,
so come on down ♪

♪ To Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Blood, beasties,
boobies, and more ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's a spooky good time
with monsters and ghosts ♪

♪ Crazy, kooky fun with
the world's greatest host ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be legendary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ It's gonna be very scary ♪

♪ Joe Bob's
"Last Drive-In" show ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪

[Thuder crashes]

[Static crackles]

-Is he here?
I haven't seen him.

-Hey, is anybody seen Joe Bob?

-Yeah.
-Oh, Darcy!

-Hey.
-You're not gonna believe this.

This is gonna be so great.

Welcome, everyone,
to Joe Bob's Nightmareathon.

-Yeah!
-Coming from the deep --

Yeah, we're coming from
the deep,

murky forests of
Coweta County, Georgia!

A place so spooky

that General Sherman
wouldn't even go in here.

He said, "Oh, fuck that.
Don't go in that place.

You know, there are other routes
we can take to go to the sea."

And, um, you know, and, girls,
I have an announcement to make.

Where are the girls?

-Well, they're not here yet.

It's really hard
to find this place.

-We can't have a slumber party
without girls in lingerie,

stretching the fibers
on their bodices.

-On their what now?

-You know, bosomy
peekaboo lingerie.

That's what you do
at a slumber party.

-Oh, really? So what kind of
lingerie are you wearing?

-I think you can see
what I'm wearing, Darcy.

-I see it.
-All right.

What do people do when they plan
a weekend together in the woods?

-Gather firewood.

-Darcy,
it's Labor Day weekend.

You get your hunting license.
That's what you do.

But not just any hunting
license. We are hunting fox.

-Oh, we are not hunting fox.
No.

-We are hunting fox, Darcy.
I just came from there.

There's a place over
in McDuffie County.

It is a straight shot
on Interstate 20.

They got 8,000 fox hunting
acres through varied terrain.

And as soon
as the Nightmareathon is over

tomorrow, we can load up,
we can be there in two hours,

and we can get there
before dusk,

which is
when the foxes come out.

-Did you get into
the Wonder Wheat again?

-Darcy, what is our
first movie tonight?

-Oh, you know what our
first movie tonight is.

-Who wrote our
first movie tonight?

-Rita Mae Brown.

-And what is Rita Mae Brown
known for?

-A famous lesbian novel,

being the girlfriend
of Martina N...

-Navratilova. Yes. She did that.

She was with her.
They hooked up.

-Yes, they did.

Um, she fights for
women's rights.

She's a writer.
-She is a great writer.

In fact, not only
did she write tonight's movie,

"The Slumber Party Massacre."

-Yeah!
-But she did write a novel

called "Rubyfruit Jungle" that
blew people's minds in 1973,

before this movie blew
people's minds in 1982.

And so we are paying tribute
to her tonight,

and we're also paying tribute
to the late, great Roger Corman,

by the way,
because the first movie

and the last movie
of the Nightmareathon are movies

that Roger produced.

And we are doing that with
a celebration of fox hunting.

[Laughter]

-Are you trying
to be mysterious?

-Rita Mae Brown has the
most famous pack of foxhounds

in the Shenandoah Valley.

She has 72 bloodhounds
at her ranch in Afton, Virginia.

-That cannot be true.
-Why not?

-Because she is all
about animal rights.

She's written a whole series
of mystery novels

that are co-written by her cat.

-Correct. Sneaky Pie the cat.

He helped solve
all the mysteries

in the Mrs. Murphy books.

-That's so cute.
-But she also loves fox hunting.

She is, in fact,
a master of foxhounds.

But if it's a really hot day,
she puts sunglasses on the fox.

-She does not.

-She does!
She's the coolest woman alive.

She's been running those
fox hunts in

Nelson County, Virginia,
and Buckingham County, Virginia,

for 30 years.
-Why are you doing this?

-What else should we do
on a slumber party weekend?

I mean, if it was up to me,
we'd go full bore

Jerry Lewis muscular dystrophy
and show 54 hours of movies.

-Yeah.
-But we're on Shudder.

I mean,
we have to scale it back,

so we'll be done by noon
tomorrow.

-Yeah!
-For you guys watching

in Sydney and Melbourne,
right now, it's just after

11:00 in the morning,
right, on Saturday.

So you're going to get
the Nightmareathon

during normal hours.

It'll be done about 2:00 a.m.
Sunday morning.

So -- Well, of course
that means you're going

to have to wait to fox hunt
until Sunday afternoon.

-Why are you always telling
us about the Australia schedule?

-Because our Aussie
mutants go to enormous lengths

to watch this show in real time.

They are crazy,
and they probably fox hunt

more than we do.
-We're not fox hunting.

-It's just a way
to honor Rita Mae Brown.

What would you like to do?

-Uh, pillow fights,
paint each other's nails.

Just be goofy.
Dancing, imbibing.

-Imbibing.
-Imbibing.

I brought lots of things
to imbibe.

-What? Like Doritos?

-Yeah, I got so many Doritos.

We can order pizza,
we can dance around doing, like,

slumber party things.

-Okay, that sounds good.
And then we'll go fox hunting.

-No, we won't.

And wearing the uniform
of a hunter

is not exactly the best way
to start a slumber party.

-Now, Darcy,
now, you've hurt my feelings now

because these are
regulation knee pad,

full seat breeches
with a black velvet hunt cap.

And I've never had the chance
to say "tallyho" in my life.

Would you ruin that moment
for me, to say "tallyho."

-I would never.

But why do they say
"tally ho" anyway?

What is that?

-It means the quarry
has been sighted.

-You mean the fox?
-That's when you say "tally ho."

Well, yeah, the fox, you know,
because that's the only quarry.

-So it's a signal
to the hounds to kill the fox?

-No, it's just a signal
to terrorize the fox.

We don't kill the fox.
-You don't kill the fox?

-No.
It's like Mexican bullfighting.

You know, in America,
you don't kill the fox,

you let the fox go.

If we even find the fox.
A lot of times, the fox wins.

But if the hounds get to him,
we do snatch him up

before they can rend his flesh
into hundreds of bloody pieces.

-Well, that makes
me feel so much better.

-And speaking of rending
flesh into bloody pieces,

our first movie
in the Nightmareathon,

this is our first marathon
since Friday the 13th, 2018.

-Yeah.
-So I'm especially stoked

because that night...

-Nate, you broke the Internet,
baby.

-Well, yes, but that's --

It's impossible
to break the internet tonight

because we updated
our whole system.

The night we broke the Internet,

we were using
prehistoric computers.

Now we have computers
from the 17th century.

-All right. Whoo!
Shudder!

-And by the way,
please send us pictures

of your Nightmareathon party.

We will put those up
during the movies.

-Yeah. Please.

-I know the guys
who organized that kegger

in Hell's Kitchen
back in 2018...

-Oh, my God.
-...they're getting

the old gang together tonight.

And I know there are
some especially depraved things

going on in St. Paul,
and you know who you are.

And I know
at least three households

who are watching
the entire Nightmareathon

from outdoor screens
in their backyards.

So let's get this party started.

-Yeah!

-But why is everybody
not here yet?

Where is everybody?

-They're kind of bogged down
on a dirt road.

-A dirt road? Where?

-Whatever dirt road comes
here, I don't know.

My Uber driver refused to go the
last 10 miles, like, refused.

-So how'd you get here
if you didn't have an Uber?

-Well, I might have
gotten a ride

for some dudes in a pickup.
-Wow. Okay.

I guess people are real
friendly around here then.

-But they really were. And they
said they might come by later.

-Great. Some dudes are going to
come by later, okay.

-And they're going to wear
a long johns.

-Okay, Darcy, I'm glad you're
making friends in the woods,

but right now,
we need to start the movie,

and I'll try to text
Felissa and Rhonda.

Rhonda Shear! Yeah!
-[Cheering]

-Fuck yeah!
-She said she was

going to show up.

I mean, you don't think she was
just messing with me, do you?

-Oh, my God.
-She's coming, right?

-If Rhonda says she's coming,
she is coming.

-All right, then, let's
get the slumber party started

with "Slumber Party Massacre."

You know,
this is one of those movies

that when people talk about
this movie, the first thing

they want to tell you
is it was made by women.

Women director. Women writer.

Well, it was also made
by Roger Corman.

He produced it,
and he put up the money for it.

And he always
hired talented women anyway.

It wasn't a new thing.

But anyway,
here "The Last Drive-in", uh,

we don't care
if it was made by men,

women, or sexless creatures
from Venus.

We just know it is a slasher
with plenty of naked boobs.

But what we do care about
is the vicious attacks

that were made
on director Amy Holden Jones

for making this movie
in the first place.

She got hammered
by the feminists for this movie,

even though it was written
by a feminist.

This movie is so confusing
when you look at it politically.

And that's why, people,

you should never look at a film
politically!

-Shh!
-Anyway --

Don't talk about that?
All right.

Anyway, a mass murdering,

escaped mental patient
with a power drill,

carving up members
of the girls basketball team

at a slumber party.

Who does not love that
as a plot?

Why does he kill?
Because he loves all of them.

-Aw. That's so sweet.

-So great screaming,
great acting.

Written by the master
of the hounds, Rita Mae Brown.

-Didn't she use
a different title, though?

-Well, yes,
the original title --

Rita Mae Brown's title
was "Don't Open the Door",

and then Amy Holden Jones
and Rita Mae Brown

did a final rewrite together,
but then when they filmed it,

it was under the title
"Sleepless Nights."

-Ooh, that's a bad title.
-Exactly. It's a bad title.

That's what you do
when you're scouting locations,

and you're asking people
if you can use their homes.

You stick on a new title page
that says "Sleepless Nights"

instead of
"Slumber Party Massacre"

so they let you use their house.

-All right, that I get.
-All right.

So what we have here
is the sensitive story

of high school girls
minding their own business,

smoking some Maui Wowie,
drinking strawberry daiquiris,

ordering pizza,
and talking about hunky boys.

But then they get massacred
by an escaped mass murderer

who wants to use
this giant drill on them,

if you know what I mean,
And I think you do.

-What?
-So sure, we've seen it

before, but have we seen it
with the new girl on the team,

ostracized by the slutty girl
on the team, moving in next door

and running to the rescue
with a machete?

I think not.

So let's take a look at those
drive in totals and get started.

We have 12 dead bodies,
17 breasts,

one hiney intensive
shower scene,

ineffective blood trail mopping,
two horndog peepers,

one mutilated Barbie doll,
fuse stealing,

one conspicuously
unlocked garage,

one bratty little sister pizza
delivery gone horribly wrong.

Telephone wire clipping,
one trunk full of corpses.

Diagetic body counting.

One corpse in the fridge,
drill to the shoulder.

Drill to the throat twice.

Drill to the chest.
Drill to the belly.

Fireplace poker versus drill.
Machete versus drill.

Machete through the chest.

Head rolls. Hand rolls.
Gratuitous cat-and-mouse.

Gratuitous use
of a dead guy as a table.

Extremely subtle power drill
symbolism.

Kitchen knife fu,
baseball bat fu,

fireplace poker fu, machete fu.

-[Loud pop]
-Whoo!

And of course, drill fu.

The party is already starting.
-Apparently. What the heck?

-Drive In Academy Award
nominations

for Michelle Michaels
as Trish for telling the killer,

"I don't even know you."

Debra Deliso
as best friend Kim

for insisting, "It's not
the size of your mouth,

it's what's in it that counts."

Robin Stille as the new girl,
Valerie,

for wielding a wicked machete

and for telling her bratty
sister, as the famous Jim Jones

once said, "Shut up and drink
your Kool-Aid."

And Michael Villela
as Russ Thorn

for hiring a CPA
to keep track of his kills,

for brandishing his giant grill,
and for saying,

"It takes a lot of love for
a person to do this."

Three stars. Joe Bob says
check it out.

-Only three stars?
-Yeah.

-He said what he said.
-Three stars.

Is there any tool that has
not been used in a slasher?

-Oh, yeah.
There's got to be something.

-I mean, nail gun massacre,
chainsaws, of course, in many

movies, toolbox murders.

That one movie used
pliers, ice pick,

claw hammer, nail gun, knife.

You got to be a pretty lame
screenwriter to go with knife.

-I mean, it's classic.
-What else? Um...

-Uh. Trash compactor?
-Yeah.

-Ooh. Table saw.

-I've seen that a couple
of times.

-Circular saw.
-I've seen that.

-Yeah.
-But what tool is waiting on us?

What tool is waiting for
the right screenwriter?

-What about a sander?

-Sander?

One of those things you use on
the wood floors?

-Yeah, right?

-That would be a slow,

bloody death,
as your skin is ripped off

by a mechanical device.

That's pretty good, Darcy.

-Thank you. I think so, too.

-But I think the name is
holding it back because sander,

that's not very scary.

-What about the
Sander Claus murders?

What? Christmas.
-Sander Claus murders?

Christmas and power tools.
Okay. Very good.

-Thank you. I like it.

-What's that in your backpack?
Oh, nothing.

Just my Black and Decker

cordless variable speed
orbital sander.

Do you need anything polished?

-I think I saw one
of those in the pickup.

-What pickup?

-Cody's pickup.
Cody and his two brothers.

-You discussed their tools?

-Oh, yeah.

-What else did you discuss?

-The local legend of
the armless scrotum destroyer.

-The armless scrotum
destroyer?

They have a monster legend here?

-I feel like it was
kind of a porn thing,

to tell you the truth, but they
are going to be by later.

And we can ask them.

-Oh, yeah. Okay. Ask them not to
bring their tools, okay?

-Oh, they're the kind of guys
that always bring their tools.

-I think I know what you mean.

-Yeah, you do.

[Static crackles]

[Eerie music plays]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[Screaming]

-Hey, take it easy!

-What'd I win?

A hundred dollars?

-You won,
you ready for this?

Your own KDED T-shirt!

-Oh.

[Gentle music plays]

♪

-Trish, honey, where are you?

-Coming, Mom.

-We're leaving, baby.

-Mellow music
for a Friday morning.

And now here's the news
with Emma Chapman.

-Our top story,
the police are still

searching for escaped
murderer Russ Thorn.

Thorn was convicted of
the brutal slaying

of five people in
Venice, California, in 1969.

More news in a moment.

-How about my blue jacket?
Did you remember that?

-It's in there.
-Okay.

-The plane tickets,
where are they?

-I have them.
-Okay.

Trish, the chips are
under the sink,

and there's soda
in the fridge,

and our number at the hotel
is right by the phone.

-Okay, Mom.
Everything will be fine.

-Annette, we have to
go right this minute.

-Mr. Contant will be
home all weekend,

and he'll
look in on you.

-Hi, Mr. Contant.

-Don't worry,
I-I won't let the girls

get into any trouble.

-Shit!

-Annette!

-Bye-bye, baby.
-Bye.

[Engine starts, revs]

-You lock all
the doors and windows.

-Mom, I'm 18 years old,
remember?

-You will always
be my baby.

-[Chuckles]

♪

[Bell ringing]

-You got to be
more aggressive.

-Okay, who should I ask?

-Um, well, how about Kim?

-Nah, she wouldn't
go with me.

-Um, how about
that new girl?

-Me ask Valerie?

-Uh...[Chuckles]

Wow.
This is the real thing.

I think I'm in love.

Give me five minutes.

Hi, uh, my name's Jeff.
Can I help you with that?

-Sure, thanks.

-You know, I've been having
some ringing in my, um, ear.

I mean, in my phone,
and I thought maybe

a phone woman
could help me.

Are all phone women
this pretty?

-I wouldn't know.

-Would you ever consider
dating a younger man?

I mean, you know what they say
about younger men.

Try it, you'll like it.

-I hadn't really
thought about it.

-Well, my number's
out of order.

-Your number is zero.

-[Gasps]

Help me! Help!

♪

[Screaming]

Come back!

No!

[Drill whirring]

[Screams]

-Alright, girls, it's late.

Now stick to your zones,
try to keep open.

Diane, don't hog the ball.

Okay, now hustle.

Down court, okay?
Down court.

[Cheering]

-Trish! Trish!

-Two seconds!
-Come on, move the ball.

-Diane, pass the ball!
-Pass it!

-Come on, Trish.
-Alright, Trish.

-Come on.

-Put it up.
-Come on!

-Oh!

-Turn around.
That's it.

Watch your position.

-Oh, shoot!

-It's not a smart move, Jackie.
Larry Bird you ain't.

Now get in range
and give yourself a chance.

-Boy, that new girl sure
is good looking.

-Valerie.
-Valerie.

-Yeah.
-[Laughs]

[Cheering]

[Indistinct shouting]

-Let's go, Val!

Alright, Val!

Nice lay up, Valerie!

-Teacher's pet.

[Indistinct shouting]

[Cheering]

[Whistle blowing]

-Alright, this is the last
week of varsity basketball.

Next week, we start
tryouts for baseball.

Cool down now and head
for the showers.

-Whoo!
-Whoo!

-You know, I think
your tits are getting bigger.

-Mine?
-Mine?

[Indistinct chatter]

-Hey, Linda?
-Yeah?

-You like
watching basketball on TV?

-Yeah, I love
all those great big guys

in their cute little shorts.

How about you?

-Yeah, I do.
-But I love football.

-How come?
-Brian Sipe, he's a doll.

-Yeah, I know
what you mean.

-God, I wish he took
his helmet off more often.

-Hey, you want to go to
a party tonight?

-Uh, where's it gonna be?
-My house.

-Uh, I don't know.
I've got to study.

I got a test on Monday.

-Trish, can I have
the the soap?

-Sure, here.
-Thanks.

Hey, Jackie, I could kill
you for what you did today.

-Hey, Trish, remind me.

Next time I have the ball,
don't throw it to Jackie.

If I have to throw the ball to you, don't shoot.

-By the way,
did you see Jim and Cindy

with Kathy?

-Oh, are you kidding?
-No, I'm not.

I can't believe it.

What a fool.

-Oh, God.

-Valerie, you played such
nice basketball out there.

I can't believe it.
-Thanks, Trish.

-The woman gets
up her courage

and she throws
her baby down.

And the guy catches it.

And, like, the crowd
is going crazy.

And the guy goes,
"Touchdown!"

-Oh, God!
-What?

-I think we should invite
Valerie to the party.

-I thought it was
supposed to be

for the gang,
like old times.

-It is.

No boys, by the way.

Got it?

-Uh, we'll talk about it.

-No way. My parents
would kill me.

-They won't find out.

-Look, what do you have
against Valerie, anyway?

-Nothing.

-She drinks too much milk.

Wouldn't happen to have
anything to do

with how good a basketball
player she is, would it?

-Or how pretty she is?

-She works at it.

Did you ever notice how
perfect her eyeliner is?

Just so.

-No reason to be unkind.

-I don't like people
I have to get to know.

Hey, it's her problem she
transferred here, not mine.

-[Sighs]

Diane, you're a snob.

-Hey, only the best people
are, you know?

-Well, I'm going to ask her.

-Fine, just go right ahead.

-Hey, Valerie.

I'm having a few
girls over tonight,

and I was wondering
if maybe you--

-I can't, Trish.
I-I'm sorry.

-Oh, come on.
-I have to go.

-She heard.

-I don't know if I can go yet.

Mom's on my case
about my grades.

-That's tough.
Mine, too, but I'll be there.

-Jeff, you
forgot one small detail,

you weren't invited.

-Trish, I don't
let little details

like that get in my way.

-Hey, you guys,
I forgot something.

I'll catch up with you later.

-Oh, okay.
Bye, Linda.

-Hey, guys, I've got some
provisions for

the party tonight.

-What are provisions?

-You know, Doritos,
No-Doz, bennies, crystal meth.

♪

♪

-Oh, Linda.
Where are you going?

-I forgot a book
in my locker.

There's a test on Monday.
I have to pass it.

-Okay, but hurry.

They'll be locking
the building up soon.

[Door closes]

♪

[Drill whirring]

-[Screaming]

♪

[Gasping, crying]

♪

[Drill whirring]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[Drill whirring]

[Screaming]

♪

[Static crackles]

-You know, Darcy,

everybody who writes
about this movie talks about

the symbolism
of the power drill.

I don't get it. Do you?
-No idea.

-I mean,
some of the newspapers

refused to print the ads
for the movie

because they were using
this poster, which was designed,

by the way, by Jim Wynorski.

And Jim was working in
Roger Corman's

advertising department
at the time.

But he would move through the
whole New World Pictures system,

and four years later, make his
directorial debut at New World

with the immortal
"Chopping Mall."

-Yeah!
-But he was refining

his symbolism skills
on "Slumber Party Massacre."

So, you know,
let's break down this poster.

I mean, here's a guy
standing with his feet way,

way too far apart
to be an effective killer.

I mean,
look at the balance problems

that he's going to have.

And then down here
at the bottom,

we have four girls
who are not in the movie.

Wynorski just found
him somewhere.

And they all
have their mouths open,

and they're playing a game
of piggyback or something.

Uh, and, well, I mean,
one of them is on her back,

and the piggyback girls are
on top of her.

Uh, the other three are jumping
on top of each other,

so they must have already
knocked the first girl down.

But now they're
kind of distracted by something

because they're all looking up
at this guy.

He must be a handsome guy,
you know?

And then he's holding --

But he's holding
this power drill

in a very relaxed position,
so he must be coming over

to fix the broken kitchen
drawers or something.

But these girls are in his way.

They are blocking his ability
to get to the kitchen drawers

because they're all tangled
up together

from piggyback to the point

where they're falling out
of their bras.

I mean, I think it's
a fairly straightforward poster,

don't you?

-Yeah, I interpreted it
exactly the same way.

-All right.

Obviously they're
thirsty, you know,

and they need the kitchen fixed.

People are always looking for
for hidden meanings and stuff.

So I think we can tell
by these first 16 minutes

of "Slumber Party Massacre"

that we are firmly
in the land of the '80s slasher.

We got the crazed killer.
We got bimbos.

We've got the catty girl, Diane.

We've got the sweet girl, Trish,

we've got the new girl in town,
Valerie,

who is instantly disliked
by Diane.

And supposedly Valerie is
the best basketball

player on the team,
even though, let's face it,

these girls look
like they learned

to play basketball yesterday

and they didn't remember
all the rules.

Even the coach seems
a little confused by the game,

not to mention
that she reminds them

that baseball tryouts are
next week,

and even though in 1982,
no high school

I'm aware of let
girls play baseball,

they only played softball.

-What?
-But Amy Holden Jones

really delivered
on the absolutely necessary

to the plot shower scene.

She did two things
that lesser directors would

not have been capable of.

Numero uno, there's only one
bar of soap, so the camera

has to follow the soap
and linger on each body.

-That's smart.
-Numero two-o.

She goes for the bewtocks, man.

Most shower scenes stick to
above the waist.

She's giving us the full monty.

And of course, since these girls
are all super athletes,

the boys
that they want to have sex with

are pro football players,
notably Brian Sipe,

who was the quarterback
for the Cleveland Browns.

I don't remember
Brian Sipe being a sex symbol.

Maybe he was,

but at least one girl has sized
him up as baby daddy material.

-Baby daddy!
-By the way, the Browns went

4-6 that year.
-[Laughter]

But they had that strike that
canceled most of the season,

but they still made
the playoffs.

There was a 4-6 team

that made the playoffs
with a losing record,

so it had to be
that Brian Sipe magic.

But what I really
wanted to talk about

was the performance
of Brinke Stevens as Linda.

-Yeah, Brinke! Whoo!

-Yeah, Brinke
is a friend of ours.

She's the second victim
after the telephone girl,

the one who gets --
but Brinke is the one

who gets chased all
through the locker room.

Brinke Stevens, she had been
an extra in quite a few movies

because, well, because
she didn't fear shower scenes.

She was ready to pop
that top at any moment.

But this was the first time she
had any kind of extended scene.

And when it was over,
she thought, "Wow,

I think I can really do this."

She told us
that this is the first time

that she thought maybe she
could really become an actress,

and not only
did she become an actress,

she became one of the three

iconic scream queens of
the '80s.

And Darcy and I presented
her with a lifetime

achievement award last summer

at the Etheria Women's
Film Festival in Kansas City.

Brinke, I can honestly
say is one of the nicest people

in the business.

She worked a lot
with Fred Olen Ray,

David DaCoteau, Jim Wynorski.

She was in "Sorority Babes
in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama."

-Yeah!
-Which we had on our first

marathon back in 2018.

And over the years,
she has been a producer,

a writer, a money raiser,
collaborator with many people.

She's done all the festivals
and the conventions

and always has a project,
always moving forward.

I really admire her energy,
but right now, she's dead.

The only thing
I don't like about her sequence

is that they have her die
off camera.

We just get that great scream

that echoes through
the empty gym.

All right, where is everybody?!

Where's the party?!

-Okay, I talked to Rhonda.
I talked to Felissa.

I talked to Dave and Robin,
and they are all coming.

They just can't find this place.

Plus, Dave got stuck in a ditch,

and Felissa might have stopped
at a bar.

-Oh, my God.
John Brennan.

-Yo, yo, yo.
-Um, have you got tow ropes?

-I'm on it.
I also got Yuki.

He's out at the Circle K.
-Yay!

-He's on Highway 16.

He's going to let me know
if he sees anybody.

-How does being at
the Circle K

help us get these people
to the party?

-Are you kidding?
He's got the high ground.

He can see all the way
to Peachtree City.

-Oh, okay.

How are you staying in touch
with him?

-Let me get him.
Hold on. Listen.

Big bird to little bird.
Big bird to little bird.

Come in, Tweety Bird.

-Copy.

-Hold on. I got Joe Bob here
for you. Hold on.

-Yuki?
-Yuki is online.

-Top of the Circle K?
-Yeah.

-Yuki!
-Yes?

-Can you see all the cars
on Highway 85?

-No.

-What highway
are you looking at?

-Highway 85.

-Okay. Do you see any cars?
-Nope.

-So, is anybody coming?

-No.

-Don't we have the numbers
for everybody?

What is this?

Why are we talking to Yuki
on a walkie talkie?

Do we have phone numbers
for anybody?

-Nobody's cell works out here.

-How did we hook that thing up?
Somebody does that hook up.

T-Mobile, AT&T, Verizon.
Who is it?

-It's cricket.
-Cricket?

-Yeah, cricket.
Uh, you know, they're

the only cell company
that still works out here.

So we just bought a bunch
of cricket burners,

and they hooked up
the walkie talkie.

-All right, get the number of
the bar where Felissa is.

You know? John, go see if
you can find Felissa,

pry her away
from a vodka tonic.

Find Rhonda,
bring her out here.

Can you round up these people?

You got a vehicle, right?

-10-4, birdie bird. I'm on it.
Don't worry about it.

-And, John.
-Yeah? What's up? What's up?

-Uh, do you see any symbolism
in this poster?

-Oh, yeah. The denim vest. -What?

-Yeah, I've seen this movie
so many times.

The killer wears
a Canadian tuxedo.

-What is a Canadian tuxedo?

-Denim on denim,
jeans and a denim vest.

And look. Look closely.

All those ladies, they're
admiring his denim vest.

-Oh, okay.

Got it.
Thanks for clearing that up.

Back to the movie.

-Are you gonna wear
that outfit the whole night?

-I was planning to.
What should I wear?

Go ahead, tell me.

-I just think you'd be
more comfortable in, like,

sleepwear, pajamas.

I got some booty shorts
if you want to rock those.

-You know what? I will make
a deal with you, Darcy.

-Okay.
-You put on lingerie

sometime tonight,
in keeping with the upcoming

lingerie scenes in this movie,

and I will wear whatever the
men's version of lingerie is.

-What's the men's
version of lingerie?

-I don't know, but I'm sure
you'll figure out

something humiliating.

-Okay. Deal.
Humiliating.

[Static crackles]

[Static crackles]

-Hey, thanks, Mark.

See you tomorrow.

[Man breathing heavily]

♪

[Engine stops]

[Door closes]

♪

♪

-Aah!

Holy shit!
I think you broke my back.

-John Minor, what are
you doing scaring me

to death like that?

-I won't try it again,
that's for sure.

-Better learn to fall better.
You could get hurt.

-What about tonight?

-Well, I don't know.

The party's supposed to be
for girls only.

For old time's sake.

-You can get out of that,
can't you?

-Maybe.

Well, we'll see you around.
Take it easy on that back.

-Back in 1969,
our own beach community

of Venice, California,
was shocked

by a string of brutal murders.

The man who committed
these crimes, Russ Thorn,

is the subject of a--

[Dial changing]

♪

-[Drill whirring]
-[Gasps]

-Oh, hi, Rachel!

-What are you doing?

-I was just putting in
your peephole.

-Oh, thanks.
-Sure.

-Oh, did the telephone
repairman come by today?

-Yeah, I saw
his van across the street.

-Right. You haven't seen
my cat around, have you?

-Not all day.
-Oh.

-By the way, your bookshelves
will be ready next Tuesday.

-Great, thanks, Pam.
-Sure.

-Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye.

[Keys clatter]

-Diane, what's happening?

Well...okay.

But you know Mom's gonna
be real bummed

if you bring him in the house.

[Creaking]

Just a sec.

I think someone's here.
I got to go.

[Bell chiming]

[Piano plays]

♪

♪

[Clock ticking]

[Footsteps approaching]

♪

-[Screams]
-Oh! Trish.

My God, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to scare you.

The door was open.
I didn't see you anywhere.

So I got worried,
and I came in.

I was just checking
the house out.

-I'm okay.

I guess being alone had me more
spooked than I realized.

-Look, why don't you
just come in

and sit down for a second?
-I'm okay.

-No, come on in.
I'll stay with you

till your friends get here.

-Thanks.

[Glass shatters]

-[Sighs]

[Rustling]

♪

[Rustling]

-[Cat yowls]
-[Screams]

-Oh, kitty, Muffin, I'm sorry.

Oh, Muffin, kitty?

Kitty, here.
Oh, here, kitty, Muffin.

Oh, yes, oh, Muffin.

Honey, it's okay, kitty.

-Let's go by and scare
the girls tonight.

-But we're not invited.

-Just a baby scare.

I mean, you know girls
love to scream.

-I don't know.

-What's the worst
that can happen?

I mean, so they get
mad at us.

-They could beat
the shit out of us.

-That's right.
We did flunk gym.

-Three times.

♪

[Insects chirping]

♪

[Doorbell rings]

-That's them now.

Go ahead and finish
your coffee.

-Who is it?
-We're here for the orgy.

Open the door, let us in.
Hurry!

Look what I scored frommy older brother.

And that ain't
the half of it.

-Gee, that's swell,
soda pop.

-Right.

-What's the matter with you?

Cast your eyes on this.

Maui Wowie,
100% seedless primed bud.

-[Sniffs] Mm.

-Oh, hi, Mr. Contant.
-[Laughs]

-I was just leaving.

[Laughter]

Trish, I won't tell if
you don't let your parents

know I scared you
to death, okay?

And go easy on
the Maui Wowie, you hear me?

-For sure, Mr. Contant.

-And if you need me,
I'm right next door.

-Okay, thanks.

-Good night.
-Night.

-Big doings next door, I see.

-That's none of our business.

-How come you weren't
invited to the party?

-I was.

I just turned them
down so I could

take care of my darling
little sister.

-Like hell.

As the famous
Jim Jones once said,

shut up and drink
your Kool-Aid.

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Yeah, hold on.

It's some boy.

-Hello?

Hi, Gordon.

-Quit glomming
all the chips.

-This is the best
time to do it,

before Diane gets here
and eats them all.

Quit glomming the joint.

[Laughter]

-What do the guys
see in her, anyway?

-She's beautiful.

-I think she has
a big mouth.

-Hey, it's not how big
your mouth is.

It's what's in it
that counts.

-What I don't see is what
she sees in John Minor.

-Maybe what we don't see.

-[Laughs]

Hey, it's not how big
it is, remember?

-It's what's in it that counts.

[Laughter]

[Crunching]

♪

-I left the burner on.

-Will your mom be mad?

-I'll have to replace it.
It's okay.

-[Gasps]

-"At a recent
Tinseltown bash,

the lovely Brooke Shields
shocked everyone

by turning up with a new
frizzy hairdo.

I thought she looked
like Charles II.

But her close
friends thought she

stuck her finger in
the wall socket."

[Clattering]

-[Dog barking]
-Dog's in the trash again.

-So go take care of it.

-What do you think I am,
stupid?

I'm not going out there
alone in the dark.

You go.

-It's too bad Mom and Dad
didn't get a divorce

before you were born.

-I love you, too.

♪

[Dog barking in distance]

♪

[Squeaking]

♪

[Clattering]

[Static crackles]

♪

[Thunder crashes]

[Static crackles]

-Okay. Darcy, are you satisfied?

Is this humiliating enough?
-Are you serious? No.

That is nowhere
near humiliating enough.

-Really? -You don't like this?

-No, I love it.
You're rocking it.

But no it's not humiliating.
You love this.

Don't even pretend.

You are very happy
to be wearing those.

That fox hunting thing was,
that was uncomfortable.

-All right. What is that?

Three jump scares we just had
in 10 minutes of this movie,

including a cat scare.
-[Laughter]

-This is a woman
who knows her slashers,

the woman that made this movie.

Also, important safety tip
people, when you arrive home,

always assume that somebody
could be drilling a peep hole

through the other side
of your front door.

We don't want any accidents.
-Good tip.

-Trish seems a little jumpy
at times,

and then at other times,
not jumpy enough.

Like, you know,
she's on the phone,

she hears a strange noise,
she goes to check on it,

but then she decides to stop
and play the piano instead.

[Laughter]

-A.D.D.
-Isn't that what just happened?

I think so.

Actually, the strange noise was
apparently Mr. Contant.

Is that his name?
Mr. Contant? From next door.

The friendly neighbor

who agrees not to tell
the parents about the weed

so as long as Trish
doesn't mention

that he was snooping
around the house like a creeper.

-That's a good deal.
-He's one of the jump scares,

and he's coming from upstairs.

What was he doing up there?

That is Michelle Michaels
as Trish.

Michelle Michaels was only
in the business a short time.

We also have seen her in
"New Years Evil"

and "Death Wish 4."

And Michelle was a trooper,

because a little later on,
you're going to see Diane,

the bitchy one, in a makeout
scene with her boyfriend.

And the scene called for
a little nudity.

And at the last minute,

that actress -- Gina Mari
was her billing on the show.

Her actual name was
Gina Smika Hunter.

And at the last minute,

Gina refused to do
her nude scene.

So Amy Holden Jones needed
that shot.

She had to have that shot.

So she said
to the assembled cast,

"Any girl volunteering her naked
breasts will get extra cash."

So Michelle Michaels,
the star of the movie,

she steps right up, you know,

so when you see that close up
shot of the breast,

that's Michelle, that's not
Gina. So thank you, Michelle.

And speaking of women
who know about breasts,

somebody told me
that Rhonda Sheer has arrived.

My competitor in the '90s

when she was host of USA's
"Up All Night"

along with Gilbert Gottfried.

But after she retired from USA,

she became a famous designer
of bras,

specifically a bra
called the Ahh Bra.

But, um, John, you found her.

So come on out, Ronda.

Rhonda Shear!

Rhonda Shear,
ladies and gentlemen.

Rhonda!
-I must kiss you.

I must curtsy to you.

-Oh, gosh.
-And you are gorgeous.

-So are you.
-Oh, my goodness.

-Rhonda, we are so happy
that you -- have a seat.

-I'm going to have a seat.
-In in our luxurious --

-Look, I brought, Darcy --

I drink champagne,
so it's a champagne beer.

Cheers!
-Oh, yeah.

Everybody drinks beer here.
-I love that.

I know there's bubbles in it.

-All right. Rhonda.

You were on my show in,
I think, 1999.

-Yes.
-Along with Count Floyd.

-That was amazing.
-SCTV, Joe Flaherty.

-I just posted that.
Did you see it?

-I did.
-Okay.

-I had smaller breasts than.

But he was so funny.
And you were so good.

-Well, I would just like to say
I plan to have you on my show

every 25 years.
-I love it.

Cheers.
I plan to live forever.

So I appreciate that. Thank you.

-Okay.
And you were great.

But I have a question for you.

-Yes?

-Did you always watch the movie

when you were doing
"Up All Night"?

-Okay, do you remember --
does your audience remember VHS?

No. But anyway.
-Oh, ours do.

-But did you watch the VHS?

-Network would give me --
I wish I had them all.

They gave me all the movies,
so I would get the two movies

or three movies because
I voiced over the last movie,

so they would give me
all three movies

and I would fast forward
through them all really fast,

and every now and then, I'd stop
on a scene or two and then,

yeah, so I watched them.

-Okay. Because Gilbert,
bless his heart,

he died way too early.

But Gilbert, he kind
of admitted to me

that he did not
watch the movies.

-Oh, he's lying.
He didn't watch them all.

But he loved them.
He loved the T&A.

Loved all that.
-Was he trying to be classy?

-No. And he loved horror.
-I didn't watch it.

-He could tell you
trivia about a lot of films,

so he did watch them.

-All right.
-Maybe not all, but he did.

-Okay, so, Rhonda,

besides drinking the blood
of babies to become ageless,

what have you been doing
for the last --

-Sushi blood. That's what I do,
I love sashimi.

-What have you been doing
for the last, uh,

since we saw each other last?

-Well, I keep my toe
in show business.

I do a film here
and there when they ask me

because I hate auditioning.

And then, um,
I have been designing

and manufacturing bras
under my name,

Rhonda Shear.

You're right. Bras and panties.

And I love helping
women and men.

It's amazing
how many male customers I have

that love my pinup panty.

I'm not kidding you.
I should have brought it.

-I feel like
that's what you need to wear.

-Really? All right.
Stop giving her ideas.

This is a slumber party.

And you design entire
wardrobes for slumber parties,

right?
-That's how it started.

My business,
my current business,

which I've been in now 22 years,

started because of all of
the intimate apparel I wore on

"Up All Night."

"Up All Night."

Got to get it.

Anyway, I did so much of that

that I had to create something
that was more comfortable,

that would lift the breast
without pain and discomfort.

-Okay, you did a lot
of lingerie and shapewear.

What is shapewear?

-Shapewear holds it up and in
and believe me,

I do it for men, too.
I do things --

-Holds it up and in.
-Up, in.

-All right.
-Yeah.

Not just for
women, but for guys, too.

-Really? Okay, well,
I was talking to Darcy.

-Something else you can wear.
-Your biggest fan.

-I'm Darcy's biggest fan.
She's gorgeous.

You are so lucky.

-I am lucky,
and we were trying to decide.

We were trying to decide
what the girls are wearing

in "Slumber Party Massacre."

And I decided what
they're wearing is athleisure.

It's the basketball team.

Athleisure, a term
I recently heard.

I didn't know of this term
until, like, this year.

-It's big term.
-Do you do athleisure?

-I did, and it's so BS,

because basically it's athletic
wear If you go to the gym.

It's leisure if you're a slob
and just hang around the house.

So it just gives you
the ability to wear baggy pants

with no zipper
and just an elastic waistband

and look like a slob.

-But now that it's called
athleisure, it's cool.

-So basically everything
that Nike and Adidas

make is athleisure?

-Yeah. Sloppy clothes.

I'd like to see you
in some athleisure.

-I'd like to see you do
a fashion show of all her items.

-You should.
-We should.

-I'm serious.
-I can supply the models,

believe me.
-Do you buy a lot of athleisure?

-No, I. don't do athleisure.
I do sexy stuff.

-No, Darcy.
-Oh. Do you?

-Do you like athleisure?
I know you like leggings.

-I do like leggings.
Do leggings count?

-Leggings count.
-Oh, yeah, then yeah,

I buy lots of athleisure.
-Leggings are tight.

-Right.
-But athleisure is also like

really baggy elastic waistband.

-All right.
-Saggy butt stuff.

-So let's go old school.

We we have three more guests.

-I don't go to the gym
for nothing.

-We do have three more
guests coming tonight.

-Yes.
-Can you get them

into some comfortable lingerie?

-Of course I can.
That's my thing.

-Okay.
-I can even tell you

their breast size just with
one quick glance.

-Really? Okay.

Because that we have --
All right.

-From A to triple D, F and G,
I can go all the way.

-What size is JB?

-Oh, I think he's
like a 40 double D.

-Double D?
-Well, all right.

-Well, I mean, actually you'd be
a 40, and it would work.

-All right. I don't think I'm
putting on one of your bras.

-We got a long night,
and we're imbibing.

-Once we imbibe, you won't
even know.

-I put on these pajamas
just for Darcy

because she's all
about squaring things up.

Darcy is trying
to turn the male gaze

into the male and female gaze.

That's one of her goals in life.
-I like that.

-I lost track of what he's
saying, but it sounds right.

I just want it to be equal,
that's all.

-So cool. I like it.

-You are a former
Miss Louisiana.

-I was.
-Uh, you were on TV for years.

Do you have a lot of people
recognize you on the street?

-Yes, some people recognize me
from "Up All Night."

-Oh, I was just --

-Do whatever you want.
-Do they ask you?

-Do you think we
didn't know that?

Of course we noticed.

-Some people don't --
-What?

-"Up All Night."

And then so many women stop
me in the airport and go,

"You're the eyebrow lady."

-Oh, wow.
-I go, "Wait a minute."

-In that voice?
Why are they so angry?

-They're just so happy.

I don't know,
because I think a lot

of my customers will call in
to the shopping channel

and they'll go,
"Clink, clink, clink.

I love my Ahh Bra."

And then sometimes you hear
a voice like,

"I love my Ahh Bra."

So I think I serve male, female
and everything in between.

It's all good.
-Okay.

-I make them all happy.

-But do they ask you
to say, "Up all night"?

-Yes. That's a constant.
-In public?

That's a constant.
And I do it because --

-You should start charging.
-Because I'm a ho.

-You don't get that for free.
-No.

-$5.
-All right.

I'm not going to ask you
to do it, but did you

ever show
"Slumber Party Massacre"

on "Up All Night"?

-Of course. I'm sure.

Was there a one, two,
and three and four?

Brinke Stevens was in it, right?
-Yep.

-Oh, I love Brinke. We actually
did a film together.

-She was in it,
and there's at least three.

There's three
Slumber Party Massacres.

-We could only show films that
had three, four, five, six.

-Those are of the best, though.
Yeah.

-"Attack of the Party Nerds."

I was in "Attack of the
Party Nerds 2."

-Why aren't we showing that?
-We should have showed that.

-Have you ever shown
"Basic Training"?

No, no,
you don't show those kind.

You don't. Just you, the T&A.
Somebody has to get murdered,

-Right? I feel like that's a --

-Well, we have
a pretty broad definition

of horror, but, you know.
-Well, it was a horrible film.

-There you go.
-My first starring film.

-When you would go back
to the movie on USA, you know,

after you did --
you did a lot of stunts.

-These are such deep questions.
All right.

-You did a lot
of stunts in the breaks, right?

-We did.
-And, um, did they treat you

well at USA, by the way?

-They did.
They treated me very well.

I had a great staff
and a great crew,

and USA network
never watched the show.

So I got away with really saying
horrible things about them.

It was fabulous.

-Did they give you
like a big wardrobe allowance?

-Nothing, but what
I did because I love fashion

is I went around LA myself

and made friends
with all the designers,

went on Hollywood Boulevard
and found this great store,

and they supplied me
with -- I did that myself,

so it went perfect with my
second career, which was design.

-Really?
-Yes. I had no wardrobe.

-So they gave you free clothing
to wear on the show.

-If I wanted to buy it, they
would give me great discounts.

-Do you have to say
the name of the company when

you went on the show?
-We did, at the end of the show.

But that was my pleasure
to do that.

-Okay. Also bras.
You got free bras.

-No, I did not do free bras.

No, I didn't get into the bra
business until much later.

I was using my own bras.
But funny story.

I used to wear
Frederick's of Hollywood.

You're too young
to remember that.

Frederick's of Hollywood bras.

And Mr. Frederick,
who was still alive,

barely, had me go on
all the talk shows

in the '90s promoting his bras.

Lo and behold, and I got
into the bra industry.

Not because of Mr. Frederick.

They were great bras. They would
push the girls way up.

Under your neck. You could
almost smother on them.

-Okay, so when you -- on USA --

-I like that no sells that.
Okay. Well, anyway then.

-When you would go back
to the movie...

-I know, I know.
He's so focused.

-I'm sorry, there's things.
I'm curious about these things.

-I can go over there
and smother him right now,

but I won't do it.
-I mean, imbibing.

-Later maybe.

-I'm sure you both
will be imbibing tonight.

-When you when you would go
back to the movie

at USA after the stunt,
besides --

Yeah, but besides
saying the phrase,

how would you do it?

How would you go back
to the movie?

-Oh, I would say,
"Hi, this is Rhonda,

and now we're going back
to the 'Slumber Party Massacre'

on USA 'Up All Night.'

But tonight, we're doing it
with Joe Bob..."

[speaking gibberish]

-What is that?
-It's cute.

-It's baby talk.
-Yeah.

-And then I would go love
and sizzle kisses.

Kiss my own butt.

-And did you invent
that whole thing?

-I did, in my kitchen
with a producer.

-You are fucking iconic.
-T&A was big.

-Back then. We hate it now.

-No, really,
no one has fake boobs anymore.

Oh, well...Cheers.
My sister.

-You don't take them out.
-Sister from another mother.

-Look. Okay.
-All right.

-I love these questions.

-I don't know because
I mean, here --

You know, the show
has been taken away from me.

Here at Joe Bob's
Nightmareathon,

we are not just staying up
all night.

-You're staying up all night
with us, Rhonda.

-Yes!
-So we need your help.

-I like it, let's do it.

-Can you give us
full treatment for going back

to the third segment
of "Slumber Party Massacre"?

Uh, because we're going back
to the movie now.

-Okay. We are going back to --
what's the name of this thing?

"The Slumber Party Massacre."

I don't know who else is in it,

but I know my good friend
Brinke Stevens is in it.

I really don't care because I
never watched the films anyway.

But I know a lot of people
are gonna get killed and stuff.

So anyway,
we'll be back with more of,

oh, yeah, fabulous Joe Bob, him,
too, Darcy,

my queen, and Rhonda Scheer
from "Up All Night", and cheers.

Whoo!

-Yeah!
-Okay, that was great.

That was historic, Rhonda.

That's what we call a crossover.

-That is going to be the promo.

-That was such a good crossover.
-That sound bite's going in.

-John Zacherle applauded
from his grave

because of that crossover.

You ever know John?
-No.

-Okay. Well, John is chuckling.

John was the original
horror host.

John Zacherle,
the original horror host.

-It's his hero.
-He is chuckling.

-Did you know
Morgus the Magnificent

is from New Orleans?

Morgus the Magnificent,
he was iconic.

You'll have to look him up.

-I have heard of
Morgus the Magnificent.

-He was a New Orleans guy,
but he was brilliant.

-All right, well, you moved
John Zacherle in

his grave, so we appreciate it.

-I've moved a lot of dead men.

-I wasn't going to say anything.

[Static crackles]

[Music playing]

-Talk about getting
caught in the act,

guess who
got caught in the act?

-Who?

-Got caught in the act?
-Yeah.

-Who?
-Who?

-In bed.
-Who?

-Stephanie and Joe.

-[Gasps]
Are you kidding me?

-My God.

-You know what?

That must have been
the reason why she

didn't show
to class Friday.

I have her in my
third period class.

She wasn't even there.

-Well, you know why?
Because she was sore.

[Laughter]

But anyways,
you know what happened?

They were in bed, and guess
who came up the stairs?

-Where were they?

-They were in her house.

-Her parents' house?
-Yeah, her parents' house.

And her parents came
up the stairs.

-Oh, my God.

What'd they do?

-So they just made it.

They didn't get caught.

They just kind of flew
out really fast.

-There she goes.

-I'm glad I've never been
in that situation, aren't you?

-Me too.
How embarrassing.

-What's the big deal?
I don't get it.

I don't get it.

-Her parents
walked in on them

while they
were screwing.

-I don't think I've been
giving Kim

the attention
she deserves.

-Who could have guessed?

-But Stephanie didn't show up
to third period, right?

Yeah, yeah.

-And Joe hasn't been
in class for really --

-God, I bet they're
grounded forever.

-Oh, well, that's their
problem, right?

-I know, but they
almost got caught, Diane.

-Well, it's their fault.
They should have --

-You've never been
in that position, Diane.

-What did we do to
deserve this?

-I think we died
and went to heaven.

-[Laughs]

-Courtney, what are you doing?

-I'm upstairs doing
my biology homework.

-Why do I find that
hard to believe?

-Don't laugh.
I have to concentrate.

-Okay, but do me
a favor and don't tear out

the centerfold this time.

-Shit.

-What do you say we
order a pizza?

-No anchovies.
-Mushrooms and olives.

-Hey, since I'm
the only one dressed

I'll go get wood for the fire.

-Bring it in
through the garage

so you don't
scuzz up the rug.

[Door hinges creak]

[Dog barking]

♪

♪

-Yuck!

♪

Gross.

[Gasps]

-Hi, Mr. Contant.

-Hi, Diane.
I hope I didn't startle you.

-No, not at all.
You're on a snail hunt?

-Uh-huh.
That makes 53 tonight.

And this is the only good
way to get 'em.

They come out after dark,

and they eat up
my vegetable garden.

-My dad goes on
snail hunts, too.

He doesn't like to
use pesticides.

-Not organic.

-Right.
Good night, Mr. Contant.

-Good night.

-A-ha, number 54.

[Drill whirring]

[Gags]

-Hey, did you
hear something?

-No, I didn't.

Look, I got an idea.
Come on.

-Hey, listen to this.

"Boy, 10, sucked down
sewer but survives."

-Diane!

-Why don't you read
today's horoscopes?

-Sign?

-Scorpio, of course.

-Of course.

-"Your power with the opposite
sex will get you ahead."

-Not too bad.

-Depends on whose head.

[Laughter]

-Taurus.

-"You'll get the rest
you deserve.

Relax and enjoy it."
-Mm.

-Hey, is it getting
cold in here?

-Sort of.

-Why don't you read more
about that sewer boy?

-"In Fort Wayne, Indiana,
a 10-year-old boy

who was swept into
a flooded storm sewer

and carried two blocks before
surfacing in a lake

said he knew he was okay
when he woke up

and the lights came on."

-Poor kid.

♪

-Diane.

Did you remember to close
the garage door

when you brought the wood in?

-I don't know.

♪

-[Screams]

Oh, my God,
what is it?

-My doll. I threw it
away this morning.

-It must be those boys.

Close the curtain, Jackie.

-It's the garage door.
I have to check it.

-I'll go with you.

♪

[Door hinges creak]

-Shit, the light bulb's out.

-See, I closed it.

-Yeah, but you didn't lock it.

My dad's got a lot of
valuables in here.

-Come on, hurry up.

-You have to
step on it, like this.

-Everything is okay,
come on.

Let's get down
to some partying.

♪

♪

[Sirens wailing in distance]

♪

-Fork it over,
shortcakes.

-Why not?
I already finished it.

-Pervert.

-Look who's talking.

-Courtney!

Leave it alone.

-"Jason is
the athletic type.

He enjoys bike riding
and tennis and surfing at dawn.

He's a straight-A student

and planning to be
a veterinarian."

He'll do.

-Yuck!
-Oh, faker.

You were beating off boys
in the fifth grade.

-I was not, you creep.

-"Donald is a fly fisherman
and a gourmet cook.

-Hey, Val,
did you tell Mom?

-Tell Mom what?
About the fifth grade?

I made that up.

-You did not.
I hate you!

I hate you, you creep!

-Aah!

-I'll get you for this.

-Hi, boo boo.

-Boo boo?

[Laughter]

-I love you, too,
and I miss you.

Yeah, it's okay.
Trish doesn't mind.

I love it, too.

Do you think
I'm getting better?

[Laughing]

Shh, hold on.

[Laughter continues]

I think our first amendment's
been violated.

-Not the word
I would have chosen.

-Very immature, you guys!

-[Gasps]
-Oh, my God.

-All the lights went off.

-Just a minute.
-Far out.

-♪ Strangers in the night ♪

-Where's that flashlight?

Diane?
Where's the flashlight?

-I'm looking for it.

I'm over here.

-Kim, where are you?

-Here it is, by the sink.

-What do you think
happened?

-I know what happened.

We must have blown a fuse.

-Where's the fuse box?

-It's in the garage.

[Humming "The Twilight Zone"
theme song]

-Cut it out, you guys!

-[Laughter]
-Go.

-What's going on down there?

-Oh, we'll take care of it.

You stay here
and talk to Boo Boo.

-Kimberly,
your days are numbered.

♪

-It's right this way.

-Wait for me.
I've got the flashlight.

Be careful.

-Boo Boo.
Can you believe it?

-Geez, high school boys.

[Laughter]

-Hold it, hold it.

-Boo!
-[Gasping]

-Who's there?

-Me, bimbo.

-Okay, let's go.

[Laughing]

-Stop.
-Where is it?

-It's right
over here in the corner.

Come on, Kim.

-Is that it?
-I think so.

-Yeah, this is it.

-Hold the beam steady.
Your hand's shaking.

-It is not.
-Grow up, you guys.

-That's weird.

None of the fuses are blown,
but some are missing.

[Clattering]

Holy shit.

-Terrific.

[Gasping]

-Oh!

-Jeff!

-Hey, don't kill me.
I give up.

-Here are the fuses.

-Wow, can't you guys
take a joke?

-How did you get out of
the third grade?

I can't believe you two.

-Look, this was all his idea.

-Oh, sure.

Some joke, you guys.

[Dog barking in distance]

[Clattering]

-Not again.

Courtney?

[Insects chirping]

♪

-[Screaming]

-Get off me, you creep!

Are you crazy?

You could have hurt me
with that knife!

-Not really.
It's very dull.

Besides, you deserved it
after what you said to me.

-I apologize, okay?

-You have to admit
I had you really scared.

-I admit it.

-You won't tell Mom,
will you?

-Kid, you're a case!

[Cat meows]

[Horn honks]

[Honking continues]

-Hi, gorgeous.

So let's go.

-I can't go right now.

We'll work something out.

Why don't you come
into the garage?

-Come here.

Mm.

[Engine starts]

-You mess up my hair,
and you're dead meat, Val.

-Don't worry about it.

Do you think I'll ever be beautiful?

-I don't know.
Look at me.

No, not a chance.

-Not if I have the same
genes as you, anyway.

What's this?
-What?

You're just a pest today,
aren't you?

-You weren't invited
to the party, were you?

-Don't put on
so much eye shadow.

It's already
way too heavy.

-Do you think there are
boys over there?

-Yeah, there's always boys
around Trish and Diane.

-Well, let's crash the party.

-Why don't we change
your hairstyle?

This one's not working.

-Anything is okay with me.

-We can try
the Brooke Shields look.

You know, the frizz look?

Just make me
look like you.

-Okay.

♪

-So Zachary at least made
it to the fourth inning

with no runs.

-The first Mets starter
past the third in this series.

Then Derrel Thomas doubled,
and Dusty Baker doubled him in.

So much for Zachary.

-I think you're gonna
have a shiner, Jeff.

-Oh.
-How are you going to

explain it to your mother?

-Aren't you supposed
to put something on it?

-Have you got a steak?

-Wait.
I'll go check and see.

-So then Cey homered.
-So far, we're agreed.

-I don't have a steak.
What else can we use?

-No, we can't.
Not here.

-No one can see us.

-The girls could walk
in here any second now.

It's been like Grand Central
Station all night in here.

-Come on, baby.
You're driving me crazy.

-I can't do it.

-Then come on over
to my place.

My parents won't be
home for hours.

-The girls would kill me.

-Trish is
very understanding.

-Hold on.
I'll be right back.

[Door closes]

♪

[Door opens, closes]

-Come on and try it!
-Trish, that's ridiculous!

Nobody puts a hot dog
on a black eye.

-Don't be so self-conscious.

-Hi, Diane.

-Hi.
What are you making?

-Strawberry daiquiris.

-We can't figure out who are
the runs from last night's game.

-Cey homered.

-We got that.

-Trish?
-Where's Mr. Right?

-We're gonna go out for
some beer, okay?

-Hey, don't you want
a strawberry --

-She wants a beer,
I think. Right?

-Yeah, right.
We'll be back.

-Okay?

-You don't have to ask
my permission, Diane.

Just goes to show you can't
bring back the old days.

[Door hinges creak]

-Well, that was a bitch,
but now it's done.

[Screams]

[Blender whirring]

[Horn honking]

[Screams]

[Glass shatters]

♪

[Crying]

[Drill whirring]

No! No!

[Screams]

[Static crackles]

-Yuki!

-Yes.
-Do you see any other cars?

-No.

-What are you guys
girls doing?

-Oh, what?

-Comparing nails,
chrome, glitter,

whatever shines.

-Yes, exactly.
It's like sleepover stuff

you wouldn't understand.
-Girly stuff.

-This is true.

Because I think
the words "slumber party",

that's totally a girls thing.

Men don't do slumber parties.

When men go away for the weekend
in a group, what they do...

-Do not say hunt foxes, man.
Do not.

-Well, sometimes they hunt
foxes,

but they do something outdoorsy.

They play a little
touch football.

They swim, they water ski,
they grill some dogs.

-They paint each other's
toenails.

-They do not paint
each other's toes.

-We are painting
your toenails tonight.

We are.
And you are gonna love it.

-My toenails will remain.

-[Chanting] Paint the nails.
Paint the nails.

-My toenails will
remain toenail colored.

I'm sorry, girls.

-Painting nails
is Slumber Party 101.

-Well, then you better
send me back to remedial classes

in slumber party because I'm not
ready for toenail decorations.

So, Rhonda.
-Think you are.

-This movie got a lot of
flak from feminists

when it first came out.

Um, but then today,
if you go online and you type

"Slumber Party Massacre
Feminist",

you will find a whole slew
of articles saying it's

not really a slasher,
it's a parody of slashers.

It's a send up of slashers.

It's undermining the tropes
of slashers.

-Yes.
-It's a feminist triumph.

-I love that.
-For Amy Holden Jones.

And for Rita Mae Brown,
who wrote --

-Finally getting her due.
-Now.

Well, I guess, you know,

so you can find both extremes
on the internet.

Now, did you get criticized
by feminists at all?

Because after all,
you're a beauty pageant winner

and a national sex symbol.

So many guys were in love
with you.

Well, still are.
-So many girls were, too.

-Yes.

I got so many guys
through puberty.

It was so good.
-And new girls.

-And did you get feminist
flack?

-No.
You know, I really never did.

I had so many female fans,

and I had guys that would send
me pictures of their girlfriend

and say, "Look, my
girlfriend looks just like you,"

and it would be a blonde, but I
have to tell you what I did do.

I wrote a book.

Promotion. Promotion.
Promotion.

And look what
the name of it is.

Which addresses what
you just asked.

"Up All Night: From Hollywood
Bombshell to Lingerie Mogul.

Life Lessons
From an Accidental Feminist."

-Really?
-Because truly,

I had to navigate that MeToo
movement before MeToo movement.

So through comedy,
I kept guys hands off of me

because nothing turns a guy
off more than

when you're making a joke
and he's in that happy state.

So I was an accidental
feminist.

-I don't know what you mean.

-And so --
-You're talking about

when you were doing standup?

-Just in my whole career.

Because I was told,
"You're too sexy to..."

So it's like I outsmarted
them by playing the dumb blonde.

-Okay.
-Because you have to be

smart to play dumb.
-I would know about that.

-Well, the reason I ask.

You're ganging up on me,
both of you.

So the reason I ask --
-He caught that. Good for him.

-Here's what I don't get.
Here's what I don't get.

First of all, Rita Mae Brown.
She studied literature.

She studied cinematography
at a very high level,

international political science.

She had all
these various interests

and had been
to all these universities.

Rita Mae Brown is always
described as a lesbian writer.

That's how she's qualified.
But that's not the whole story,

because Rita Mae Brown was
a star student

at University of Florida.

She was in the coolest sorority,

Delta Delta Delta, uh,
at University of Florida.

And they kicked her out.

They kicked her out
of the sorority.

They kicked her out
of the university

because of one comment

that she made to one
of her sorority sisters.

And that comment was,

"I don't care whether
I marry a man or a woman."

-That's fucked up, though.
-Let's start with that.

-Ahead of time.

-That would seem to indicate
that she's bisexual,

not just lesbian,

but the reason
she's identified with lesbianism

is that she fought
for recognition of lesbians

in the very early days of the
National Organization For Women

back in the '60s,

and she would not let up about
prejudice against lesbian women

and black women, also, by the
white heterosexual women

who ran the National
Organization For Women.

And Betty Friedan,
who was head of NOW at the time,

was upset by one thing
in particular that she said,

and that thing was,
"I don't believe in gender."

She believed
that there is a spectrum

and everybody is on the spectrum
between male and female.

She was actually about 50 years
ahead of her time.

So to Betty Friedan's credit,

I want to redeem her
just a little bit.

She did apologize to
Rita Mae Brown 30 years later.

-But if you read, um,

"Rubyfruit Jungle",
her famous novel,

the book that made
Rita Mae Brown famous,

it's semi-autobiographical,
it's very autobiographical,

and the protagonist has
all kinds of sexual adventures

with men and women.

And then the other reason
she's called

a lesbian author all the time

is that she had
a long public relationship with,

uh, Martina Navratilova,
and before that,

she had a long
public relationship

with the actress Fannie Flagg.

So, anyway, she's
about as bisexual as they come,

and she's master of the hounds.

-We're not fox hunting.
-We should honor her.

-Not fox hunting.

-You gave us information just
to get back to fox hunting?

-I know. Right.
-All right. So.

Well, I want to say this.

I want to say this
in front of both

of you because you're both
strong women

with strong opinions
about sexism.

And maybe
you can appreciate a movie

both ways, bisexually.

Maybe men can identify
with Trish,

and maybe men can love
the shower scene

but hate the killer.

Or maybe the men who love
the killer do not love him

because he has a power drill.

Maybe they love him because
they've seen slashers before,

and they're waiting for that
emotional release when he dies.

In other words,
maybe you don't have to defend

the movie as feminist
or anti-feminist.

Maybe it is just a work of art,
you know?

-Agree. I'll take that.
-So by the way, Rhonda,

do you see any symbolism
in this poster created

by Jim Wynorski
to publicize the movie?

Because we've been trying
to figure it out.

-Well, quite frankly,

I think his tool has
a lot of indentations in it,

so it's not a very good tool.

-What do you think
of the lingerie?

-How about the lingerie?
-I could do so much better.

-All right, well, we know that.
All right.

-Back to the movie.

We're up all night
with Rhonda Shear.

Later Felissa Rose,
Dave Sheridan, and Robin Sydney,

Yuki, John Brennan,
people across the USA

because it's
Joe Bob's Nightmareathon!

So roll the movie.

-We should tell the story
of the first marathon.

-I think everyone has heard
the story of the first marathon.

-Not everyone. Do you know?

-The first marathon is
what got us this show?

We wouldn't be here tonight

if it wasn't for
that first marathon, so...

And, Rhonda, we would
have had to wait another decade

to hang together if it hadn't
been for that first marathon.

You moved to Florida to be close
to the Home Shopping Network?

-Right. So I could pop in there
and sell bras at 3:00 and 4:00

and 5:00 in the morning.
It's 24 hours of --

-So, you know
all about marathons

because aren't those shows --
how long are those shows?

-They're live.
-They're like four hours long.

-They're 24 hours long.
-No, 24 hours a day.

-You're on 24 hours?
-No, I'm not. No, no.

I can be on 12 hours
within a 24 hour day

if it's a today's special.

-You stay on the air
for 12 hours?

-Yes.
Not necessarily straight.

I mean, the most I'll do
is a two hour block,

but within,
from midnight to midnight,

I could be on 12 hours.

So I'm having my
own little live marathon.

-All right. I would watch
a 12 hour show about bras.

-I have some
very, very nice models.

-Really?
-Yes.

-Okay.
-You got his attention.

-More Home Shopping Network
viewing for me.

Uh, don't they call you the
number one enemy of underwire?

-Uh, I can be because I don't
believe in underwire at all.

-Why is it bad?

-Because it digs
into your breast tissue

and you can't think any wire
could be good

for breast tissue
or any other --

What if you had a jockstrap
with wire in it?

That wouldn't feel very --
like clawing that thing,

-I don't know.

You know,
is underwire bad, Darcy?

-I mean,
I hadn't thought about it,

but, yeah.
-It hurts.

-That makes so much sense.
Why? Why do we have that?

-I have invented bras
that are under wireless.

-So the technology of your bras
have changed I'm American...

-And European.
34 countries love my bras.

-Oh, wow.
-Ahh.

Can you say, "Ahh"?

-Say ahh, Joe Bob.

-The Ahh Bra.
-There we go.

-I am learning so much tonight.

-I can teach you so much
about underwear.

You have no idea.
-Oh. Willing student.

[Static crackles]

What'd you hear?

-Some honking
and then some screaming.

-Seems pretty quiet now.

-Do you think they're
doing something,

you know,
funky over there?

-No, they're just
playing games.

Forget about them.

They're not worried
about us, after all.

-You know
who would remember?

-Who?
-Coach Jana.

-I don't know why we
let you guys in

with the stunts
you pulled tonight.

-Here.
-Thanks.

-Here we go!
House specialty.

-Thanks, Kim.
-Sure.

-Yeah, that Barbie doll trick
was pretty gross.

-What Barbie doll?

-[Doorbell rings]
-Holy cow, the pizza.

I almost forgot.
I'll go get some bucks.

-We'll get the door.

-Hey, let's call Coach Jana
before it gets too late.

-Okay.
-What's the damage?

-Six so far.
-Six even.

-Hi, Coach Jana?
This is Kimberley Clark.

Jackie and I just wanted
to ask you a question.

-What's up?

-Did you happen to catch
last night's ball game?

-Sure did.
It was a rout.

-We're trying to figure out
where the six runs came from.

-Well let's see, you've
got Cey's homer, obviously.

-Yeah, you've got Cey.
-How much?

-Four.
-Okay, here's one.

I'll take all this.
You pay with the 10, okay?

-Okay.
-Pizza!

-[Gasps]

-Oh, shit.
-[Screams]

[Screaming]

-Kimberly, is this
some kind of a joke?

[Dial tone]

Hello?

[Dial tone]

-Got to call anything, anybody.

Hello?

There's been a murder.

-Would you
like the police department?

-We're all alone.
Please, please send help.

-Where's Diane?

-Please send the police.

We are in 3664 --

Hello?

Hello?!

The line is dead!
The line is dead?

-Well, I don't know, Coach.

My little sister did hear
some screaming,

but it seems
perfectly quiet now.

-You think you could
go over there and take a look?

-Well, if you want me to,
I guess.

But frankly, I'd rather not.

-Oh, never mind,
it's a bad idea.

You shouldn't go out
of the house.

Maybe I'll go over
there by myself.

-I bet they're
having a blast over there.

-Well, let me know if there's
anything I can do, okay?

Okay, take care.
Bye-bye.

-[Receiver clicks]
-I'll go. I'd love to go.

-You just want them
to see you

with your hair up
like that.

You can't go. It's out of
the question, alright?

Courtney.

I'll tell Mom.

-I think we should turn off
a lot of the lights,

close the curtains that
aren't already closed,

and make sure all
the doors are locked.

-Okay, it's a beginning.

Let's go.

-Jeff, we got to do
something to help the girls.

-Okay, what can we do?

-Maybe we should make
a run for it.

Valerie Bates lives next door.

-What if we don't make it?

-Maybe we should split up.

One of us will make it,
even if the other one doesn't.

-Here, this is a good one.

I almost took my finger off
chopping carrots yesterday.

-I wish I hadn't dropped
out of Cub Scouts.

Maybe I would have learned
what to do with it.

-Jeff, think this is
a good idea?

Maybe if we all just
stuck together now.

-It's the right thing to do.

I know it.

-Are you guys set?

-You have to go
through the garage,

then Mr. Contant's house
is right there.

-And you know he's home?
-Yeah.

If there's anything
I know, it's that.

You ready?

Ready?

-Ready!

-Are you ready?
-Yeah.

♪

♪

[Wood creaking]

-[Screaming]

[Drill whirring]

[Screams]

[Telephone rings]

-Hello?

-Hi.
Is Michelle there?

-Hello?

Anybody?

-Valerie! Anybody home?

[Pounding on door]

[Music plays]

-Oh, Candy,
you scared me!

-You know what I told
you in school,

what Val told me about,
you know, the French kissing

with the tongue
and everything like that?

-Valerie, open up!
Come on!

-Hey, Candy, come on.

Hey, you're
freaking me out.

[Screaming]

-Oh, God!

Oh, God!
Please! Oh, please, open up!

Oh, God, Valerie!
Open up, please!

[Pounding on door]

Oh, God, please,
Valerie!

[Pounding on door]

[Dramatic music playing]

-[Grunts]

[Music playing on television]

[Grunting]

-[Screaming]

[Dramatic music plays]

-[Grunts]

-[Screaming]

[Screaming]

♪

-[Screaming]

-He started kissing me,

and he stuck his tongue
in my mouth.

I could have died.

I thought I was gonna
throw up or something.

No, I didn't throw up.
I just felt like it.

It was so gross.
It was all slimy and everything.

Oh, I just wanted to die.

♪

♪

♪

♪

-[Grunts]

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Four.

Shit.

♪

-How long are we gonna
have to stay like this?

My arms
are getting tired.

-Until help comes.

-If it comes.

-You know what?

I'm hungry.

-Me too.

-What are we
gonna do with him?

-Maybe we should
cover him up.

-He's dead, alright.

-No kidding.

-He's so cold.

-Is the pizza?

-Ugh.

-Well, life goes on
after all,

and eating makes me
feel best.

-And I feel bad,
and boy, do I feel bad.

-[Groans]

-I feel better already.
Really, I do.

-[Whimpering]

-Did you hear that?

♪

♪

♪

♪

-[Whimpering]

♪

-What if it's Neil?

-Or Jeff?

-We'd better
open the door.

-No!

♪

-[Whimpering]

-No!

[Drill whirring]

-[Screaming]

-Come on!

♪

♪

[Static crackles]

Okay, if I'm counting
correctly,

all the males in the cast are
dead because of lame decisions.

The girls at the party
are eating pizza off the body

of a dead delivery boy.

The coach tells Valerie not to
go check on the house next door,

because she wants to drive there
herself from some faraway place,

and Russ Thorn,
the Driller Killer,

is having trouble keeping
count of his victims

and finding a storage space
big enough

to keep them all together.

For the record,
the body count is eight,

which surpasses his
previous record of five in 1969,

which everyone else is aware of

from the screaming headline
on the newspaper

the girls are using, but they
don't look at the front page.

They only use it
to check horoscopes.

Does that about sum it up?

-Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!
Felissa!

-Felissa Rose! What's up?

[Cheering]

-Who wants vodka?
-Everyone.

-Felissa Rose,
ladies and gentlemen,

the original guest.

The original guest
on the original marathon.

Because she's the legendary star
of "Sleepaway Camp."

She's also the official
mangled dick expert

on "The Las Drive In."

Technically, Felissa,

we should be drinking
strawberry daiquiris,

because that's what
they're drinking in the movie.

-Okay,
so give me two shots of Stoli,

five minutes in the kitchen,

and we will be drinking
strawberry daiquiris.

Let's see.
White rum, crushed ice.

Strawberries, lime juice,
lemon juice. You know what?

I like a little Sprite
in my daiquiri, you know?

Do you, Joe Bob?

-I'm not really
a daiquiri person.

I wouldn't know.

-Oh, wait a second.
Do you have pink straws?

-We don't have any straws.
-No, no, no. You know what?

I really can't drink
a strawberry daiquiri

without a pink straw.

-Well, just take one
for the team, Felissa.

We'll just have to suffer.

-Oh, no, we won't.
I have pink straws!

-Yeah! Darcy!

-Show me to the kitchen.

-Darcy,
you do not have pink straws.

-I always keep a set with me.

I'm helping with the daiquiris.
-Jeez.

-I wonder why Darcy
wants to go to the kitchen.

Rhonda, I am sorry
you have to witness this.

-Oh, are you kidding, Joe Bob?
This is a classic slumber party.

I am all in. See ya.

-Well, you may not be all in

when you see what they took in
there in those little backpacks.

-Joe Bob, do you realize
how much an Ahh Bra can hold?

Oh, my God. Whoo! Party!

-Well, John, I guess the,
uh, the party moved elsewhere.

That was quick.

-Is that pizza smell in there?

-Oh, go ahead, John.
-Yeah, pizza!

-Pizza! All right.

For those of you who
are still watching the movie,

I wanted to talk about
Robin Stille,

who plays Valerie.

She was also part
of our first marathon.

She was the evil sorority
president in

"Sorority Babes in the Slimeball
Bowl-O-Rama."

So this credit and that credit

are the two main movies
on her résumé,

Although she also played Sarah,
the Peace Corps nurse in

"American Ninja 4:
The Annihilation."

She grew up in Garden Grove,
California,

which is next door
to Anaheim and Orange County,

where Disneyland is.

And, um, Valerie was
her first role at the age of 20,

and she worked on and off
for about 10 years.

She was in and out
of the low budget movie scene.

She dated Wayne Newton,
she dated Sylvester Stallone.

She fought a losing battle
with alcohol, unfortunately,

and, uh, took her own life
in 1996 at the age of 34.

So very sad
because nobody had any idea

that she was even depressed.

I also wanted to mention
Michael Villella,

who plays Russ Thorn,
the Driller Killer.

He was also in "Wild Orchid"
and "Wild Orchid 2",

but this is the role
he was proudest of.

He took it so seriously

that he never talked to any
of the actresses

that he was going to kill.

He would hang around
the lunch table staring at them.

He would hide in the bushes
and stare at them.

He wanted to freak everybody out

so that when he did
the kill scene,

they would be
authentically scared.

In fact, he would carry
his drill around with him

at all times and occasionally
rub Vaseline all over it.

Uh, as far as I know,

there are no Russ Thorn action
figures out there, probably

because Amy Holden Jones chose
not to put a mask on him.

But we appreciate
his commitment to the role,

especially in
the big closing sequence,

which is coming up
here directly.

So roll the film.

[Shouting in background]

You know
how when you go to a party,

there's that part
in the front room

where you get your first drink

and you have a little fritter
on a toothpick,

whatever those things
are called.

Then there's the general
"whoo-hoo, let's get drunk"

part of the party, which is
in all the downstairs rooms.

And then there's
that one sort of secret room

where the real party
is happening.

It's upstairs,
and if you go up there,

people start reaching
into concealed carry pockets

of their denim jackets
and smiling inappropriately.

I think right now everybody
went to the secret room.

I never get invited
to the secret room.

Are they going to have
wild turkey in the secret room?

No, they are not.

Are they going to have
Macallan Double Cask 15 Scotch?

No, they are not.

Are they even going to have
Lone Star in the secret room?

Yes, probably, but only because
they know the art director

would be fired if they did not.

-Did you ask for
the art director?

-Oh, no. Yuki. It's fine.

Yuki Nakamura,
ladies and gentlemen.

[Cheering]

All those bolos
in the very first marathon,

they were from the personal
collection of Yuki Nakamura,

the Tokyo Cowboy.

-I forgot to buy Lone Star.

-What?!
-You're drinking the last one.

-Yuki!
I am sorry to tell you this,

and it really hurts
that I have to do this, but...

-Oh, my God,
I'm having an orgasm!

[Cheering]

-I think I'll check in
the kitchen.

-Yuki! Yeah!
Come on, Yuki!

-Sure, Yuki, go ahead.

-Sure.

[Static crackles]

Courtney, telephone!

Courtney?

Courtney?

Damn.

Trish?

[Doorbell rings]

♪

-We have to let her in.
It's help, they can't get in.

-Jackie, wait, Jackie!

The knives!

♪

[Drill whirring]

♪

-Hello?

[Gasps]
-Sorry, I didn't mean

to scare you this time.

-Courtney, I've been
looking everywhere for you.

-Let's go home.

As far as I can see,
nothing much

is happening
around here at all.

-I don't know.
Seems pretty weird to me.

I mean, why don't they
answer the door?

And why is
the house so dark?

-Maybe they're
just not home.

-Look, you stay here.

I'm going around front
just one more time, okay?

[Thunder crashes]

♪

♪

Trish?

Diane?

♪

Hello?

♪

♪

Trish?

♪

Kim?

-Trish, I know that's Valerie.

We have to answer.

-Hello?

-You remember what
happened last time?

We should stay right here.

If she's here with help,
they'll find us.

-Trish?

-Yeah, and if she's alone,
maybe that guy will find her.

-Maybe they're friends.

♪

-Courtney?

-I don't hear
Valerie anymore.

-Well, she didn't bring help.
We know that much.

[Thunder crashes]

-Maybe she's dead, too.

Or do you think she's in
with that guy?

I can't believe that.

Kind of an extreme
reaction to not being invited

to the party,
wouldn't you say?

-When she called down
before, when Jackie...

I don't know
what to think.

-God, that was so horrible
what happened to her.

-I can't stop
thinking about it.

-Well, maybe we
shouldn't talk about it.

-Oh, God.

Maybe Diane
went to get help.

If we ever get through...

[Floor boards creak]

[Screaming]

[Drill whirring]

[Glass shattering]

♪

[Drill whirring]

-Oh, my God!

-Quick, quick!

[Grunts]

-Hurry, come on.
-Hurry up.

Get the door,
get the door.

-Hurry up.

-[Screams]

-[Screams]

♪

[Thunder crashes]

-Courtney?

♪

Courtney?

Courtney?

-[Wheezing]

-Courtney!

-What happened?
What's wrong?

-Come on,
there's no one here.

Let's lock up
the house and go home.

♪

-Boy, was this a wash.

-Yeah, the party must
have gone someplace else.

-Well, I think we ought
get something out of this.

Let's raid the fridge.

-Come on. I want to
get out of here.

I don't know what it is,
but something

about this house gives
me the creeps.

-Spoil sport.

I never have any fun.

Just one little beer?

-Courtney,
you're under age.

Negative.
Come on, let's go.

Courtney, come on!

Courtney!

-[Screams]

-What's wrong?

[Screams]

[Clock chiming]

Courtney, run!

[Chiming continues]

♪

[Thunder crashes]

[Thunder crashes]

[Knocking on door]

-Trish, Diane?

Anybody home?
It's me, Ms. Jana.

Kim?

Jackie?
Anybody home?

It's Coach Jana.

Hey, girls, Thomas
singled in the sixth.

[Thunder crashes]

[Thunder crashes]

♪

[Screams]

[Drill whirring]

♪

♪

[Saw whirring]

♪

♪

-Aah!

Shit!

[Drill whirring]

♪

♪

[Clanging]

♪

-[Grunts]

[Grunting]

♪

[Screams]

[Thunder crashes]

-Trish!

♪

-[Wailing]

-[Groaning]

♪

[Drill whirring]

-[Gasps]

[Trish screams]

♪

[Thunder crashes]

[Whimpering]

-You're pretty.

All of you were very pretty.

[Thunder crashes]

[Trish whimpering]

-Please don't do this.

-I love you.

-Please!
I didn't hurt you.

Please don't do this.

-Takes a lot of love
for a person to do this.

[Thunder crashes]

-Go away.

-You know you want it.

You love it.

Yes.

-Why?

I don't even know you.

[Footsteps approaching]

♪

[Glass shatters]

♪

[Thunder crashes]

♪

[Clang]

[Insects chirping]

-[Screams]

[Screaming]

I'll kill you!
I'll kill you!

-[Screams]

-I'll kill you!

Aah!

-[Gasping]

-[Groans]

♪

♪

-[Sobs]

-[Gurgling]

♪

-I love you, Val.

-[Screaming]

[Thunder crashes]

[Grunting]

-[Screams]

-[Grunts]

[Grunts]

[Screams]

-[Screams]

[Thunder crashes]

-[Screams]

[Groans]

-[Screaming]

-[Groans]

[Thunder crashes]

♪

-[Crying]

♪

♪

[Sirens wailing]

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

[Static crackles]

♪

[Thunder crashes]

-So Valerie chops
off his drill bit

and then chops off his hand.

He's more affected
by the loss of the drill bit

than the loss of his hand.

And then, in a final act
of feminist vengeance,

she reverse
penetrates him with a machete.

So the sisterhood wins.

And meanwhile, wily Trish
is hiding in a garment bag

while it's still hanging
in the closet.

That is one petite woman.

And here's a thunderstorm raging

that very strangely
never gets anybody wet.

But the creepiest part
of the whole movie is

when Thorn finally speaks.

Because normally
the psycho killer

doesn't speak in a slasher.

But this was totally worth it.

"All of you are very pretty.
I love you.

It takes a lot of love
for a person to do this.

You know you want it."

Basically, the things you say

when you're about to violate
the restraining order.

So here's how much
we love Amy Holden Jones

at "The Las Drive In."

This amazing woman
was an editor.

She edited
"Hollywood Boulevard",

as a matter of fact.

She was Martin Scorsese's
assistant on "Taxi Driver."

She was an editor for Hal Ashby.
And her next job,

she was about to be the editor
for Steven Spielberg on "E.T."

She turned down "E.T."

to direct
"Slumber Party Massacre."

For minimum wage!

The budget was $220,000.

It grossed $3.6 million.

And so Roger Corman made
a lot of money.

But Amy Holden Jones was
not sure

if she had done the right thing.

Um, they had a test screening
of this movie

on Hollywood Boulevard
at one of those trashy theaters

at the opposite end of the
street from Grauman's Chinese.

And Jones goes to the test,

and there are
homeless people coming in

and rough looking teenagers
and lowlifes

and the kind of people
who talk back to the screen,

and whoever decided to sit
in the chair right behind her

made the sound of a drill
throughout the movie.

And there was yelling
throughout the movie.

And after it was over, she found
Roger Corman in the lobby

and she said,
"What have we done, Roger?"

And Roger said,
'What we've done is staged

the best test screening in the
history of New World Pictures."

And a franchise was born,

and it became
the only franchise to this day

that has female directors only.

Amy Holden Jones
would direct three more movies,

"Love Letters", which is
a Bergman esque art film

starring Jamie Lee Curtis
in 1983,

"Maid to Order" in 1987,
"The Rich Man's Wife" in 1996,

but most of her career
would be as a writer.

"Mystic "Pizza",
"Indecent Proposal",

all seven
of the "Beethoven" movies.

She moved into TV
after the turn of the century,

and she recently had
a hit medical series

called "The Resident."

Did anybody see that?
Six seasons on Fox.

107 episodes.

She created it, produced it,
was the showrunner on it,

Amy Holden Jones,

by the way, never made any
feminist claims for the movie.

All that stuff was invented
by academics and journalists

30 to 40 years
after the movie came out.

I should also mention
Debra Deliso, who played Kim.

She became a quadruple
threat -- actor, choreographer,

playwright, teacher,
did a lot of stage work,

got amazing reviews
at the Edinburgh Festival

for "Agnes of God."

Played Blanche Dubois
in a celebrated production

of "A Streetcar Named Desire"
in LA,

was chairman of the
Physical Education Department

for eight years

at the Los Angeles County
High School for the Arts,

wrote and staged a solo
performance piece about

Isadora Duncan,
taught playwriting

and acting at a women's prison
for three years.

Taught acting at USC

and the American Academy
of Dramatic Arts,

has had an amazing career.

Andree Honore,
on the other hand,

who played Jackie, married
a Denver Bronco and had babies,

never made another movie.

The only two males
in the cast, Joe Johnson

as Neil and David Millbern

as Jeff, went in
opposite directions.

Neil did a lot of episodic TV

and then spent three years
in Italy

dubbing movies into English,

before moving to Florida to take
care of his ailing parents.

Staged a one man show
down there.

Became a regular
at the Early Bird Dinner Theater

in Clearwater
before his death in 2020.

Uh, David Millbern,

as Jeff, appeared
in several Roger Corman films,

had a long term contract
on "General Hospital."

Had lots of supporting roles
on Lifetime, Freeform, SyFy,

including those movies
"Chupacabra" and "Ice Spiders."

Uh, Showtime, HBO.
He became a producer,

a game show host,
actually won a Daytime Emmy

for children's programming.

And actually, there's
another male actor in the movie.

Jim Boyce,
as the boyfriend of Diane,

was in several big movies.

"Crimson Tide", "Ed Wood",

"Police Academy 2",
did a lot of musical theater,

and then he retired from acting
in 2002 to be a teacher.

The tagline for the poster
was, "You bring the pizza,

I'll bring the drill."

-So no wonder it became
a cult classic.

And, um, well, normally we would
now move on to some mailbag,

but apparently the mail girl
has more important things

to consume,

or I mean more important things
to do in the other room.

So would somebody
please tell her

that we are out here
waiting for the mailbag,

and maybe she'll come out

and we'll be able to continue
with the show?

-I'm sorry.
We're playing Fuzzy Duck.

-Yeah, we're playing Fuzzy Duck.

-Fuzzy Duck!
-[Chanting "Fuzzy Duck"]

-Well, sorry to
interrupt you guys,

but didn't you have
a mailbag letter secreted

somewhere on your body?

-Oh, yeah, my bad. I'm coming.

Mailbag. Secret mailbag.

-Who's this from?

-Oh, it's on there.
-Oh, great.

Okay.

-It's from Brett Richardson
of Huntsville, Alabama.

"Dear Joe Bob, I've been
a viewer and fan

since 'MonsterVision.'

We won't discuss
how long ago that was.

We can just pretend
it's been about 10 years.

You've introduced me
to a lot of great movies,

and I love your Shudder series.

I just finished watching
'Rotten Tail' on streaming."

-Yeah!
-"And while I liked it,

I wish you'd given me
a heads up to get drunk

before I got into it,

because that much cheese goes
better with a little booze."

Is that true, Darcy?

-You're watching cheese
and need a little booze?

-Oh, I mean,
I've not touched a drop.

-Yeah, okay.
"I've never written you before,

but I felt the need to do
so tonight

because you were talking
about the female Satan

in 'Passion of the Christ.'

And you said that's
the only time

the devil has been played
by a woman.

I want to remind you
about 'Bedazzled',

the Brendan Fraser comedy with
Elizabeth Hurley as the devil.

I've never actually seen it,

but I remember the premise from
when it was first released.

I'm sure there are
other examples,

but that's the only one
I can think of right now.

Also, Darcy may whip
my ass for saying this,

but I love the trivia you
throw in during your segments.

It does not matter
if it's about the movie,

the actors, the directors,

or whatever subject
the movie is about.

It all keeps me interested,
so keep that coming.

I also love the chemistry
between Darcy and you

and how well you all
play off of each other.

She's a tough, smart woman,

and she holds her own
with you really well."

-I think that was
a wonderful letter.

-Is that what we're doing,
playing off each other?

I don't even know.
What does that mean?

Playing off each other?

-Like when one of us does
something really, really dumb,

the other one makes a joke.
-One of us?

If one of us
says something dumb?

-Yeah.

-How come I'm never
the one making the joke?

-Must be a reason for that.

-"Keep the driving alive,"
says Brett.

"And please tell me
to get tanked up

before you show another
cheesy flick like 'Rotten Tail',

your buddy Brett Richardson."

-Tell him now.
Tell him now.

-Okay, Brett, well,
it's too late

to make whiskey recommendations
for "Slumber Party Massacre",

but thanks
for the "Bedazzled" information.

Thanks for helping Darcy
to bask in her Darcy power.

-I even want to say
that "Bedazzled" thing to you

for so long.
Anyway, go ahead.

-Really?
-Yes.

-All right, we are just
getting started

on Joe Bob's Nightmareathon.

We're going to be here for the
whole night and half the day,

and we got a major change of
pace coming up after the break.

We're going hard core.

We're going "When Evil Lurks."

I would not recommend
eating anything

while you're watching this one.

And in the meantime,
I'm Joe Bob Briggs,

speaking for
Darcy the mail girl,

reminding you that out here
in rural Georgia,

where it's hotter than
a blistered dick in a wool sock,

you are welcome to join us in
this celebration of great trash.

Wander on by
and ask for Jake to let you in.

Jake is the one
with a fungus on his ears.

He'll be at the gate,
and the drive in will never die.

-Just do it.

-A priest, a doctor
and an engineer --

A priest, a doctor,
and an engineer...

-I got it, I got it.

-...are playing golf one morning
and they're waiting for

a particularly slow group
of golfers.

So the engineer says,
"What's wrong with those guys?

We must have been waiting
here for 15 minutes."

And the doctor chimes in,
"I don't know,

but I've never seen
such inept golf."

And the priest says, "Well,
here comes the green keeper.

Let's have a word with him."

So the green keeper walks up and
the doctor says, "Hello, George,

what's wrong with that group
ahead of us?

They're kind of slow,
aren't they?"

And the greens keeper says,
"Oh, yeah,

that's a group
of blind firefighters.

They lost their sight saving our
clubhouse from a fire last year.

So we always let them play
for free any time."

Well, the group falls silent.

And finally the priest says,
"That's so sad.

I think I'll say a special
prayer for them tonight."

And the doctor says, "Good idea.

I'm going to contact
my ophthalmologist colleague

and see if there's anything
he can do for them."

And the engineer says,

"Well, why can't they just play
at night?"

[Laughter]

-All right.
So I'm missing fuzzy duck.

[Chanting
"Fuzzy Duck! Fuzzy Duck!]

[Indistinct shouting]

[Music playing]

-Fuzzy duck!