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1
00:00:00,501 --> 00:00:04,338
[Kite Man] Well, the briefcase
appears to be nuke proof.
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,715
[Golden Glider]
You've got to be kidding me.
3
00:00:05,715 --> 00:00:07,175
I guess we've got to find
some other way
4
00:00:07,175 --> 00:00:08,843
to destroy
the Anti-Life Equation.
5
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:11,512
Totally. Or maybe
I should keep it.
6
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:14,557
I mean, that way,
it doesn't land in the wrong hands.
7
00:00:14,557 --> 00:00:15,850
Babe, no way.
8
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:18,686
Bein' Beast Mode taught me
I never want a power.
9
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,563
The briefcase
seems to respect that.
10
00:00:20,563 --> 00:00:23,107
So while it makes you
a Murderey Molly,
11
00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:25,777
it just makes me
a guy with a briefcase.
12
00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:27,320
Fine. Yes, you're right.
13
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,197
Babe, we probs don't have time
for this discush.
14
00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:31,240
I think the nuke exploge
tipped our locaysh.
15
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,534
Damn it! Okay,
you grab the briefcase.
16
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,995
If it's not here,
they'll assume it's destroyed.
17
00:00:35,995 --> 00:00:37,288
It'll buy us some time.
18
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,335
We've got to stay on the move.
19
00:00:42,335 --> 00:00:45,046
And keep the briefcase
as far away from you as possible, so...
20
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:47,048
Whoa! Sweet truck.
21
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:48,591
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking, babe?
22
00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:52,178
I mean, you do put the hot
in hotwire.
23
00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:53,888
Chuck, we don't need
a clever line
24
00:00:53,888 --> 00:00:55,223
every time we do something.
25
00:00:55,223 --> 00:00:57,850
Good point. Hell yeah.
26
00:00:57,850 --> 00:00:59,644
I thought we were gonna
steal the pickup.
27
00:00:59,644 --> 00:01:02,313
No way, babe.
This is perf.
28
00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:03,898
The briefcase
is way in the back.
29
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:05,066
We stay on the move.
30
00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:07,235
and fulfill every kid's dream
31
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:10,029
of being on the open road
hauling chicken.
32
00:01:10,029 --> 00:01:12,448
[horn blaring]
33
00:01:18,955 --> 00:01:19,914
[squawking]
34
00:01:32,427 --> 00:01:34,387
[singer] ♪ Hell yeah! ♪
35
00:01:40,810 --> 00:01:43,521
Wow, you've gotten really good
at mixing drinks, Mals.
36
00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:48,735
The secret... [gulps]
...is love what you do.
37
00:01:54,115 --> 00:02:00,788
[chorus] ♪ Darkseid!
It's Darkseid! Darkseid! It's Darksei-- ♪
38
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:01,789
They get it.
39
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:09,714
Oh, hey there, Mr. Darkseid!
To what do we owe the pleasure?
40
00:02:09,714 --> 00:02:12,592
He always visits me
on the anniversary of my parents' death.
41
00:02:12,592 --> 00:02:13,801
How sweet.
42
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,344
- He killed them.
- Ah.
43
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,597
Trust me, Malice,
you dodged a bullet.
44
00:02:17,597 --> 00:02:21,267
Well, nontraditional families
are families still.
45
00:02:21,267 --> 00:02:23,227
You've done well
for yourself here, Malice.
46
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:26,898
Serving drinks to the scum
of an already derelict species.
47
00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:30,568
Hey, take it easy
with the compliments.
48
00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,862
However,
this place is beneath you.
49
00:02:32,862 --> 00:02:36,199
- Thanks, I guess.
- I have excellent news.
50
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,493
It's time for you to serve me.
51
00:02:38,493 --> 00:02:40,244
One Lee Trevino coming up.
52
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:44,540
No. What I'm saying is
you will come serve me on Apokolips
53
00:02:44,540 --> 00:02:48,252
and help me enslave
the entire universe.
54
00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:51,381
Like, today?
55
00:02:51,381 --> 00:02:54,926
See, Goldilocks, you cannot
look at screens all day.
56
00:02:54,926 --> 00:02:58,012
You need fresh air!
It makes you strong!
57
00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:02,100
You were strong
when you stood up to Mr. Luthor and Ms. Villigan.
58
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:03,684
Well, I suppose.
59
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:07,188
After all, I don't take orders
from anyone.
60
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,940
I want a lollipop!
61
00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:10,358
Coming right up.
62
00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:14,612
- Here's three.
- Ah! Ugh.
63
00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:17,365
That third one
will be just right.
64
00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:20,368
And I want to go home
and watch a show.
65
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:23,413
When I was your age,
I did not have shows.
66
00:03:23,413 --> 00:03:26,457
I was in a pit.
I would use my imagination
67
00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,835
and invent stories
for the rocks.
68
00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:33,172
They and the darkness
were my only friends.
69
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,717
Then tell me a story.
70
00:03:35,717 --> 00:03:38,428
- A love story.
- [groans]
71
00:03:38,428 --> 00:03:41,180
[gasps] With the princess.
But not with kissing.
72
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:43,558
Kissing is too yucky.
73
00:03:43,558 --> 00:03:47,186
Okay, I know a love story
that conveniently
74
00:03:47,186 --> 00:03:49,772
has no kissing or eye contact.
75
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:50,982
Yay!
76
00:03:50,982 --> 00:03:52,734
[grumbles]
77
00:03:52,734 --> 00:03:55,903
Once upon a time,
there was a pretty cool guy named Ba...
78
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,406
Um, uh... Bane-jamin.
79
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:00,742
One day, in the 19 and 80s,
80
00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:04,120
he met the most beautiful
princess in the world:
81
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,914
Princess Rebecca Chen...
82
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,624
[Golden Glider]
Damn it! Do you have cash?
83
00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:11,169
I must have lost my wallet
escaping from the resort.
84
00:04:11,169 --> 00:04:13,671
Negativ-io on the cash-io, babe.
85
00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:15,923
I tipped generously
at the hotel.
86
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:19,010
The hotel that ratted us
out to Villigan's?
87
00:04:19,010 --> 00:04:20,762
Those people live off tips.
88
00:04:20,762 --> 00:04:23,890
Well, we can't use cards
or Helen will be able to track us.
89
00:04:23,890 --> 00:04:25,767
I have an idea, babe.
90
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,020
Babe, are you sure
91
00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:30,772
we should just leave it
in the truck?
92
00:04:30,772 --> 00:04:32,732
Glider, no one's going
in that trailer.
93
00:04:32,732 --> 00:04:34,609
Chicken theft
is incredibly rare.
94
00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:38,279
Now, watch a master salesman
at work.
95
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,572
Greetings, sir.
96
00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:41,282
My lady and I
would like a table.
97
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:46,954
Oh, and by the way, these eggs
are definitely not for sale.
98
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:48,623
- Okay?
- Yeah. No.
99
00:04:48,623 --> 00:04:50,625
Just because
they're super special, I can't put a price on them.
100
00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:53,586
If I had to, though,
I'd say $5 an egg.
101
00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:54,962
Wouldn't take a penny less.
102
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,340
- I'll give you a dime an egg.
- And sold.
103
00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:02,178
What a sucker.
104
00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:03,513
[Malice] Well, okay.
105
00:05:03,513 --> 00:05:06,974
Yeah, sure, I totally want to.
106
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:10,103
But I have to give Kite Man
and Golden Glider a two weeks' notice
107
00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:12,313
and, uh, obviously,
they're not here right now,
108
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:16,818
- so I guess--
- They're on the run with that Anti-Life Equation?
109
00:05:16,818 --> 00:05:20,488
Kite Man and Golden Glider
have the Anti-Life Equation?
110
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:23,991
Um, no, no, don't listen
to the guy who just shit himself.
111
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:29,539
Everyone knows Lex Luthor
and Helen Villigan
112
00:05:29,539 --> 00:05:32,333
have the
Whatever-you-call-it Equation?
113
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:34,544
♪ The Anti-Life Equation! ♪
114
00:05:34,544 --> 00:05:38,631
Right, so you should
probably kill them if you need to kill anyone.
115
00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:41,676
You'd never lie to me
like your parents did,
116
00:05:41,676 --> 00:05:42,969
would you, Malice?
117
00:05:42,969 --> 00:05:46,305
No way, lying is...
out of fashion.
118
00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:49,642
I have sought this information
for a thousand generations.
119
00:05:49,642 --> 00:05:52,562
Now, to fulfill my destiny!
120
00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:55,231
Keep the Lee Trevinos
cold for my return.
121
00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:58,901
♪ Chill the glasses!
It really helps! ♪
122
00:05:58,901 --> 00:06:02,405
Shit, shit, shit!
I just lied to my god-daddy!
123
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:03,906
Not a normal lie either,
124
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,867
a lie about something
he's really interested in.
125
00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:09,537
Oh, I wouldn't worry, Mals.
He seems reasonable.
126
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:12,206
He came to celebrate killing
my parents.
127
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,333
Shit on a prick!
On a stick!
128
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,877
I don't know
what the saying is.
129
00:06:15,877 --> 00:06:18,046
I am screwed.
130
00:06:18,046 --> 00:06:20,548
What we definitely can't do
is go back to Noonan's.
131
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,799
That's the first place
they'll look.
132
00:06:21,799 --> 00:06:23,426
What should we do then?
133
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:26,179
We should, one, stay away
from Noonan's.
134
00:06:26,179 --> 00:06:28,931
- Two, avoid Noonan's.
- That's the same point, babe.
135
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,933
I really can't
stress it enough, babe.
136
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:34,103
How exactly
does one destroy something that can't be nuked?
137
00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:37,023
Easy we wait for a storm.
138
00:06:37,023 --> 00:06:39,192
A brain storm.
139
00:06:39,192 --> 00:06:42,403
Now let's get a look
at these chicken thieves.
140
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:45,073
- [chicken growls]
- [screams]
141
00:06:47,492 --> 00:06:50,453
Shoot her! Shoot her!
142
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:53,206
[screams]
143
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:57,543
[whimpering]
144
00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:59,045
[creature growls]
145
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,757
Drop it in the ocean,
feed it to a starfish,
146
00:07:02,757 --> 00:07:05,843
or awaken a Kaiju
like a Mothra or a Godzilla.
147
00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:08,554
I love how creative
you are, babe.
148
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:11,599
I just... I don't know
if any of these things really exist.
149
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:14,185
- Um, babe.
- What?
150
00:07:14,185 --> 00:07:16,270
[chicken growling]
151
00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:18,272
- [gasps]
- [gasps]
152
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,316
- [people clamoring]
- Chuck! I told you!
153
00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:22,819
You were right.
And obviously, that's what we should be
154
00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:25,613
- focused on at this moment.
- That is not what I mean.
155
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,659
Oh, cluckin' hell.
156
00:07:29,659 --> 00:07:32,870
See? A clever line
feels pretty good sometimes.
157
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,795
The scan's complete.
158
00:07:40,795 --> 00:07:43,715
There's no sign
of the Anti-Life Equation.
159
00:07:43,715 --> 00:07:45,717
Congratulations, Villigan.
160
00:07:45,717 --> 00:07:47,719
Your incompetence
led to the destruction
161
00:07:47,719 --> 00:07:50,471
of the only thing
that could kill Superman.
162
00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:52,348
My incompetence?
163
00:07:52,348 --> 00:07:54,934
You had it hidden for months
in a dive bar under chicken nuggets.
164
00:07:54,934 --> 00:07:56,477
What were you waiting for?
165
00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:59,313
The obvious thing.
His birthday.
166
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:03,776
Or am I some kind of rube
who kills Superman on a random Tuesday?
167
00:08:03,776 --> 00:08:05,486
♪ Darkseid! ♪
168
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:06,988
Hello, Lord Darkseid.
169
00:08:06,988 --> 00:08:09,824
- How are you?
- What a lovely surprise.
170
00:08:09,824 --> 00:08:12,827
Silence!
I despise pleasantries.
171
00:08:12,827 --> 00:08:15,455
♪ He hates small talk! ♪
172
00:08:15,455 --> 00:08:17,331
Where is
the Anti-Life Equation?
173
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:19,167
Well, Lord Darkseid,
174
00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:21,961
unfortunately, there was
a giant nuclear explosion.
175
00:08:21,961 --> 00:08:25,506
And the Equation
has been destroyed.
176
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:28,384
[laughs] Idiots.
177
00:08:28,384 --> 00:08:32,346
The Anti-Life Equation
cannot be destroyed by a mere nuclear blast.
178
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:37,185
One thousand nuclear blasts
would not even tickle a hair on its ball sack.
179
00:08:37,185 --> 00:08:39,812
♪ It's actually
Pronounced nuclear! ♪
180
00:08:39,812 --> 00:08:41,189
Oh, shut the fuck up!
181
00:08:41,189 --> 00:08:43,191
Well, if it still exists,
we should find it.
182
00:08:43,191 --> 00:08:44,859
There's no we here.
183
00:08:44,859 --> 00:08:46,319
You two are out of your depth.
184
00:08:46,319 --> 00:08:49,614
Time to step aside
and let the big dog eat.
185
00:08:49,614 --> 00:08:52,950
♪ Woof! Woof! ♪
186
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:56,996
Lord Darkseid, I'll happily
bow out of the race for the Anti-Life Equation
187
00:08:56,996 --> 00:08:58,915
if you agree
to one tiny condition.
188
00:08:58,915 --> 00:09:01,125
- Which is?
- Villigan's Crime will be
189
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:03,920
the exclusive delivery service
for Apokolips.
190
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:08,549
- Free one-hour shipping?
- In perpetuity. It's a win-win.
191
00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:11,886
I like your style,
Villigan. Deal.
192
00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:14,389
Luthor, you're awfully quiet.
193
00:09:14,389 --> 00:09:15,681
Anything you care to add?
194
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,309
Only congratulations
to you both.
195
00:09:18,309 --> 00:09:20,686
Let me know if I can be
of any assistance
196
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,231
in your search, Lord Darkseid.
197
00:09:23,231 --> 00:09:24,899
Good. So we agree.
198
00:09:24,899 --> 00:09:29,070
The Anti-Life Equation is mine,
and you two are out.
199
00:09:30,363 --> 00:09:33,032
Well, you rolled over
like a horny puppy.
200
00:09:33,032 --> 00:09:35,535
If I hadn't, we'd both be dead.
201
00:09:35,535 --> 00:09:38,538
Once I have
the Anti-Life Equation, it won't matter.
202
00:09:38,538 --> 00:09:41,958
I'll be even more powerful
than Darkseid. [laughs]
203
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:43,876
And exactly how do you
plan to find
204
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,713
the Anti-Life Equation
before Darkseid does?
205
00:09:46,713 --> 00:09:48,089
I don't need to find it.
206
00:09:48,089 --> 00:09:50,299
I'll have it delivered
straight to me.
207
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:53,594
And then he discovered
that Princess Rebecca
208
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:56,514
had been thrown
into a deep pit.
209
00:09:56,514 --> 00:09:59,642
Uh... Excuse me.
What is that?
210
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:02,186
Oh, it's just
an applesauce squeezer.
211
00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:03,730
They have those?
212
00:10:03,730 --> 00:10:06,858
Do you have any idea
how much time I spend smushing apples,
213
00:10:06,858 --> 00:10:08,818
putting in cinnamon and nutmeg
214
00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:11,154
just so she'll eat
something healthy?
215
00:10:11,154 --> 00:10:13,865
That would be such a timesaver.
216
00:10:13,865 --> 00:10:17,285
Hey, what happens
to Princess Rebecca?
217
00:10:17,285 --> 00:10:18,953
Yeah, I'm riveted.
218
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:23,875
Ah, yes. Well, next,
our brave hero Bane-jamin
219
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:26,586
rescued Princess Rebecca
from the pit.
220
00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:29,881
The same place he spent
his childhood in darkness?
221
00:10:29,881 --> 00:10:32,258
Look who's been listening.
222
00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:35,845
- [chicken growling]
- [people screaming]
223
00:10:42,143 --> 00:10:44,437
What in the ugly shit fuck--
[screams]
224
00:10:44,437 --> 00:10:45,521
- Babe!
- [groans]
225
00:10:45,521 --> 00:10:48,566
- [groans
- [screams]]
226
00:10:48,566 --> 00:10:51,819
[screams and groans]
227
00:10:53,362 --> 00:10:58,493
[groans and grunts]
228
00:10:58,493 --> 00:11:00,495
[grunts and yelps]
229
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:05,333
[yelps]
230
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,836
[yelps]
231
00:11:10,129 --> 00:11:11,339
I didn't eat the eggs.
232
00:11:11,339 --> 00:11:14,008
I swear. They gave me
the wrong order.
233
00:11:17,345 --> 00:11:18,763
[people screaming]
234
00:11:18,763 --> 00:11:21,391
Babe, gut feeling,
the Anti-Life Equation
235
00:11:21,391 --> 00:11:23,726
has something to do
with this giant chicken sitch.
236
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:27,397
We've got to get that briefcase
away from the chickens!
237
00:11:30,358 --> 00:11:31,317
There it is.
238
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:35,530
Fuck!
239
00:11:37,782 --> 00:11:38,699
[both] Double fuck!
240
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:39,867
Jinx!
241
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,043
[roars]
242
00:11:49,043 --> 00:11:51,879
[man on radio] Management says
the resort remains open during nuclear cleanup,
243
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:56,509
with unbeatable room
specials and a free continental breakfast.
244
00:11:56,509 --> 00:11:59,470
- Chuck, we have to.
- I know. Get the briefcase
245
00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:01,222
- out of the...
- [cell phone ringing]
246
00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:03,391
- It's Noonan.
- Well, answer it.
247
00:12:03,391 --> 00:12:04,809
Well, okay.
248
00:12:04,809 --> 00:12:06,978
Uh, hey, Noonan.
Just a, uh, smidge busy here.
249
00:12:06,978 --> 00:12:08,104
Any chance it can wait?
250
00:12:08,104 --> 00:12:09,856
I'm gonna put you on speaker.
251
00:12:09,856 --> 00:12:11,941
Kite Man! It's Lex Luthor.
252
00:12:11,941 --> 00:12:14,736
You will bring the Anti-Life
Equation to me now,
253
00:12:14,736 --> 00:12:17,238
or your friends will die.
254
00:12:17,238 --> 00:12:19,407
- That piece of shit.
- Okay. [stammers]
255
00:12:19,407 --> 00:12:21,075
Just don't hurt them, Lex.
256
00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:23,411
We're on our way. We just need
a couple minutes to, uh...
257
00:12:23,411 --> 00:12:25,705
Hey, lovebirds.
Don't worry about us.
258
00:12:25,705 --> 00:12:27,248
It's under control.
259
00:12:27,248 --> 00:12:32,587
I'm gonna teach these guys
a lesson I learned in WW1.
260
00:12:32,587 --> 00:12:34,756
How the fuck old is this guy?
261
00:12:34,756 --> 00:12:36,257
[all grunting]
262
00:12:40,762 --> 00:12:42,263
- [groans]
- [grunts]
263
00:12:42,263 --> 00:12:43,681
[grunts]
264
00:12:43,681 --> 00:12:45,433
[men groaning]
265
00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:46,434
[people clamoring]
266
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:53,566
[sighs] Feels like it's turning
into one of those days, babe.
267
00:12:53,566 --> 00:12:55,151
[chicken clucks]
268
00:12:57,945 --> 00:13:00,281
[people screaming]
269
00:13:01,699 --> 00:13:02,575
[roars]
270
00:13:08,247 --> 00:13:09,957
[cries]
271
00:13:18,049 --> 00:13:19,133
[people screaming]
272
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,474
Glider, shoot a beam at it.
273
00:13:26,474 --> 00:13:28,851
Without the Anti-Life Equation,
I can't control my powers.
274
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:30,395
I'll kill everyone.
275
00:13:30,395 --> 00:13:32,480
Okay, uh, let's put on
our thinking caps.
276
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,024
What's the best way
to kill a bird?
277
00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:38,319
[phone rings]
278
00:13:38,319 --> 00:13:41,322
- Yeah?
- Hey, Mals, uh, we need a quick fave.
279
00:13:41,322 --> 00:13:43,491
But I'm in the middle
of a retail therapy session.
280
00:13:43,491 --> 00:13:44,534
It's been a day.
281
00:13:44,534 --> 00:13:46,953
Bye! Do you have these
in a seven?
282
00:13:46,953 --> 00:13:49,914
Wait, wait. Mals,
we're kind of dealing with an itty bitty emergency.
283
00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:53,626
Me, too. Although this is
actually a big one. It's a one day sale.
284
00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:57,422
Malice, fuck the sale.
We need you and your cat, ASAP.
285
00:13:57,422 --> 00:13:59,382
I'll drop a pin
so you can find us.
286
00:13:59,382 --> 00:14:01,259
Well, I need to feed
Chessure first.
287
00:14:01,259 --> 00:14:03,344
Don't! We need her hungry.
288
00:14:03,344 --> 00:14:04,345
Fine.
289
00:14:05,972 --> 00:14:07,098
[meows]
290
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,358
So their love was not to be
291
00:14:17,358 --> 00:14:21,487
as Princess Rebecca
remained lost in time.
292
00:14:21,487 --> 00:14:23,030
Okay, no more story.
293
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,032
But what about her daughter?
294
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,034
Golden Glider? What about her?
295
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:29,662
She was being hunted
by the bad guys
296
00:14:29,662 --> 00:14:32,957
because she had
the Anti-Life Equation.
297
00:14:32,957 --> 00:14:35,585
Someone will save her, right?
298
00:14:35,585 --> 00:14:37,378
That is still unwritten.
299
00:14:37,378 --> 00:14:41,299
So there's still time for her
to get a happy ending?
300
00:14:41,299 --> 00:14:43,634
What? You are not old enough
to know...
301
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:47,555
Oh. Oh. Oh.
A happy ending to the story.
302
00:14:47,555 --> 00:14:50,141
Right. Well, maybe
one day you'll see.
303
00:14:50,141 --> 00:14:51,809
- [grunts]
- Hey, Bane!
304
00:14:51,809 --> 00:14:55,605
Look my head is outside
but my body is inside.
305
00:14:55,605 --> 00:14:57,148
[grunts] Going back in.
306
00:14:57,148 --> 00:14:59,567
What is this rumpus?
307
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:07,658
I must protect my friends.
308
00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:13,998
[groans]
309
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:21,089
Okay, Goldi, run upstairs,
lock the door,
310
00:15:21,089 --> 00:15:23,841
and don't go anywhere
until I get back, okay?
311
00:15:23,841 --> 00:15:26,344
Okay. But I have to go potty.
312
00:15:26,344 --> 00:15:29,305
Do whatever need to do.
Just go.
313
00:15:29,305 --> 00:15:32,183
I will.
But it's not number one.
314
00:15:32,183 --> 00:15:36,229
Okay, well,
here's something to read.
315
00:15:36,938 --> 00:15:38,022
[grunts]
316
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:52,578
D... Do... Don...
317
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:02,505
Donut! Yay!
A donuts bathroom! [chuckles]
318
00:16:05,091 --> 00:16:08,052
Malice, there's
a chicken in there. Make Chessure eat it!
319
00:16:08,052 --> 00:16:09,971
- She's vegan now.
- Malice!
320
00:16:09,971 --> 00:16:13,141
Fine. Chessure, yummy birdie.
321
00:16:15,852 --> 00:16:18,312
Oh, thank God. I'm safe.
322
00:16:19,814 --> 00:16:22,275
[growls]
323
00:16:22,275 --> 00:16:25,987
[chicken and Chessure growling]
324
00:16:25,987 --> 00:16:28,740
Oh, by any chance
did my god-daddy Darkseid
325
00:16:28,740 --> 00:16:32,493
show up recently
asking about any particular universe-destroying device?
326
00:16:32,493 --> 00:16:34,704
- No. Why?
- Nothing. Never mind.
327
00:16:36,122 --> 00:16:37,665
[Kite Man] Oh, no!
328
00:16:38,666 --> 00:16:40,293
[roars]
329
00:16:40,293 --> 00:16:44,464
Oh! No! My baby.
Here, kitty kitty.
330
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,177
I'm really into you, Summer.
331
00:16:49,177 --> 00:16:50,678
Me too, Trent.
332
00:16:50,678 --> 00:16:52,638
I mean, [chuckles] not me.
333
00:16:52,638 --> 00:16:56,267
That's silly. I mean,
I'm also super into yo--
334
00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:59,687
Honey, I really think
we should wait for interest rates to go down bef--
335
00:17:01,314 --> 00:17:04,776
All right. You've convinced me.
I'm going vegan.
336
00:17:10,198 --> 00:17:11,824
[all grunting]
337
00:17:15,203 --> 00:17:17,205
[rock music playing]
338
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:23,586
That thing's older than you.
[groans]
339
00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:27,715
And it still gets the job done.
Just like me.
340
00:17:27,715 --> 00:17:29,008
[grunts]
341
00:17:29,008 --> 00:17:31,052
Two-on-one, huh?
What are you guys, twins?
342
00:17:31,052 --> 00:17:33,012
What are you guys, twins?
343
00:17:33,012 --> 00:17:35,056
Who wants some first?
344
00:17:35,056 --> 00:17:37,266
Hey guys,
I was thinking maybe
345
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:39,227
we should put a pin in this.
346
00:17:39,227 --> 00:17:41,771
It's like we say
at the fulfillment center,
347
00:17:41,771 --> 00:17:46,484
"Use your head,
and lift with your knees!"
348
00:17:46,484 --> 00:17:49,529
Let me know if you need
a receipt for that.
349
00:17:49,529 --> 00:17:51,572
- [whimpers]
- [grunts] You motherfucker!
350
00:17:51,572 --> 00:17:53,908
- Where's my fuckin' money?
- He owes you money?
351
00:17:53,908 --> 00:17:55,201
Ah. Force of habit.
352
00:17:55,201 --> 00:17:57,453
[all grunting]
353
00:17:58,913 --> 00:18:01,165
Time to end this nonsense.
354
00:18:01,165 --> 00:18:03,710
What the fuck?
Where the hell is everybody?
355
00:18:04,877 --> 00:18:05,753
Whoa!
356
00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:11,259
And we tell the Queen of Fables
we've gone union.
357
00:18:11,259 --> 00:18:13,636
[all cheering]
358
00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:18,725
- [all gasp]
- Well, well, well.
359
00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:23,938
Looks like I found
a little hiccup.
360
00:18:23,938 --> 00:18:26,649
Hansel. I never knew
you were a labor organizer.
361
00:18:26,649 --> 00:18:30,903
Well, I am.
And we are not coming out to fight
362
00:18:30,903 --> 00:18:33,322
until you agree to our demands!
363
00:18:33,322 --> 00:18:35,783
I mean, you can't disappear
for months,
364
00:18:35,783 --> 00:18:39,203
then show up and think
we'll do your bidding--
365
00:18:39,203 --> 00:18:42,331
- [gasps] Hansel!
- [all gasp]
366
00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:45,460
Now it's Nobody and Gretel.
367
00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:47,170
Anybody else
want to start a union?
368
00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:49,839
[all clamoring]
369
00:18:49,839 --> 00:18:52,675
Good.
Because we've got shit to do.
370
00:18:55,595 --> 00:18:57,263
Gettin' blood
all over my wingtips,
371
00:18:57,263 --> 00:18:58,473
you piece of garbage.
372
00:19:00,141 --> 00:19:02,602
[grunts]
373
00:19:02,602 --> 00:19:04,854
And that's how we do it
at Noonan's.
374
00:19:04,854 --> 00:19:08,316
- Beers on the house!
- [all cheering]
375
00:19:08,316 --> 00:19:10,318
All right. False alarm.
376
00:19:10,318 --> 00:19:12,236
I guess
everything was under control.
377
00:19:12,236 --> 00:19:13,654
Shame about Hansel.
378
00:19:13,654 --> 00:19:15,865
Okay. One beer each.
Then back in the book.
379
00:19:15,865 --> 00:19:17,325
[all screaming]
380
00:19:17,325 --> 00:19:19,160
Babe, we gotta get
this chicken away
381
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,953
from its
all-you-can-eat buffet.
382
00:19:20,953 --> 00:19:22,330
On it!
383
00:19:24,332 --> 00:19:25,625
Hold this.
384
00:19:27,210 --> 00:19:29,837
[grunts] Holy moly!
385
00:19:37,970 --> 00:19:39,555
It's hammer time.
386
00:19:40,515 --> 00:19:43,017
Please Kite Man,
don't hurt 'em!
387
00:19:46,396 --> 00:19:49,565
[grunts and groans]
388
00:19:54,904 --> 00:19:57,240
[clucking]
389
00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:03,996
Okay. You're welcome
for all the help. Bye.
390
00:20:03,996 --> 00:20:07,041
Think that briefcase
tastes like chicken?
391
00:20:07,041 --> 00:20:09,377
God, I love you, babe.
392
00:20:09,377 --> 00:20:11,212
[Bane] Hey. Three Bears.
393
00:20:11,212 --> 00:20:12,714
We have a mutual friend.
394
00:20:12,714 --> 00:20:17,009
She just went upstairs to...
Oh, my God.
395
00:20:17,009 --> 00:20:21,264
I hope she didn't use the...
[stammering] Goldilocks!
396
00:20:21,264 --> 00:20:22,890
- [slurps]
- [both gasp]
397
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:25,393
Goldi?! I'm coming in
to make sure
398
00:20:25,393 --> 00:20:28,813
you didn't poop yourself
to the 1980s.
399
00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:29,731
[grunts]
400
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:37,739
I am a terrible babysitter.
401
00:20:37,739 --> 00:20:40,950
Looks like everything's A-okay
at the bar.
402
00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:42,285
Look at this.
403
00:20:42,285 --> 00:20:44,078
I know.
And this was just one chicken.
404
00:20:44,078 --> 00:20:47,707
Imagine if Darkseid
or Lex Luthor got their hands on it.
405
00:20:47,707 --> 00:20:48,958
Well, that's not gonna
happen, babe,
406
00:20:48,958 --> 00:20:50,501
because I'm in this
till the end.
407
00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:51,919
So am I, babe.
408
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:54,922
You and me, Chuck,
no matter what.
409
00:20:58,551 --> 00:21:00,511
[Darkseid] Luthor and Villigan
were useless.
410
00:21:00,511 --> 00:21:02,388
We're back to where we started.
411
00:21:02,388 --> 00:21:03,473
[DeSaad] Yes, sire.
412
00:21:03,473 --> 00:21:05,767
It appears Malice was mistaken.
413
00:21:05,767 --> 00:21:07,643
Mistaken or lied?
414
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:09,270
♪ Treason! ♪
415
00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:11,564
But why would Malice lie to me?
416
00:21:11,564 --> 00:21:14,192
Unless... she must know
417
00:21:14,192 --> 00:21:16,569
where the Anti-Life
Equation is.
418
00:21:16,569 --> 00:21:19,113
Brilliant, sire.
Shall we Boom Tube to Noonan's?
419
00:21:19,113 --> 00:21:20,531
DeSaad, you donkey.
420
00:21:20,531 --> 00:21:23,618
Noonan's is exactly
where a moron would hide.
421
00:21:23,618 --> 00:21:27,413
But Malice shares my bloodline,
she's a genius.
422
00:21:27,413 --> 00:21:28,956
♪ So smart! ♪
423
00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:31,501
We must find a way to track her
without her knowing.
424
00:21:31,501 --> 00:21:33,127
♪ You have the chip ♪
425
00:21:33,127 --> 00:21:34,587
I don't have any chips.
426
00:21:34,587 --> 00:21:37,131
No, the one in the kitty cat.
Remember, sire?
427
00:21:37,131 --> 00:21:40,593
It was an add-on at checkout
when you purchased Chessure.
428
00:21:40,593 --> 00:21:45,014
Ah, yes! That pushy clerk.
What was his name?
429
00:21:45,014 --> 00:21:46,182
♪ Brandon ♪
430
00:21:46,182 --> 00:21:47,975
Right, Brandon.
431
00:21:47,975 --> 00:21:51,187
I'm telling you,
these pet stores are dens of thieves.
432
00:21:51,187 --> 00:21:55,149
So may I log you in on
the "Track My Demon Pet" app?
433
00:21:55,149 --> 00:21:58,403
Where Chessure is,
there you will find Malice.
434
00:21:58,403 --> 00:21:59,862
Excellent.
435
00:21:59,862 --> 00:22:02,240
It's time to get the truth
from my goddaughter.
436
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:06,285
The Anti-Life Equation
is so close, I can taste it.
437
00:22:06,285 --> 00:22:09,622
♪ Yum, yum ♪
438
00:22:09,622 --> 00:22:12,542
[Darkseid cackles]
439
00:22:12,542 --> 00:22:14,836
[theme music playing]
440
00:22:42,071 --> 00:22:43,823
♪ Oh, yeah! ♪
441
00:22:43,873 --> 00:22:48,423
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