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1
00:00:00,063 --> 00:00:03,272
All right, kids, let's go.
Bowls in the sink, come on.
2
00:00:03,297 --> 00:00:05,375
Dad, you have to put
something healthy in there.
3
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,273
Look, there's beef jerky.
4
00:00:07,559 --> 00:00:09,259
Chock full of protein,
5
00:00:09,284 --> 00:00:10,794
and it'll keep them out
of the dating pool
6
00:00:10,819 --> 00:00:12,430
for a few years.
7
00:00:13,170 --> 00:00:15,470
No, you have to give them fruit.
8
00:00:15,495 --> 00:00:17,656
- No, he doesn't.
- Yeah, don't let her control you, Dad.
9
00:00:17,681 --> 00:00:21,195
She's right, all right? Nobody
likes a bully. Come on.
10
00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:22,524
Okay. Okay, no problem.
11
00:00:22,549 --> 00:00:23,915
Um...
12
00:00:25,265 --> 00:00:27,693
- Who are we?
- BOTH: Gables!
13
00:00:27,718 --> 00:00:29,752
- What are we?
- Leaders!
14
00:00:29,777 --> 00:00:32,366
- Who's got it better than us?
- Nobody!
15
00:00:32,681 --> 00:00:34,295
And what are we late for?
16
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:35,953
The bus if we don't get moving. Now go.
17
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,111
Good morning. Oh, shoot.
18
00:00:39,136 --> 00:00:40,640
Did I miss the "who are we" chant?
19
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:41,976
KEVIN: Oh...
20
00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:45,511
Chale, technically, you're not a Gable.
21
00:00:45,536 --> 00:00:47,636
So when you chime in, it
kind of weirds me out.
22
00:00:47,661 --> 00:00:50,095
I just get caught up in it.
23
00:00:50,114 --> 00:00:51,457
It is inspiring.
24
00:00:51,482 --> 00:00:53,093
Oh, here. You got some mail.
25
00:00:53,118 --> 00:00:55,264
Oh, Chale mail.
26
00:00:57,272 --> 00:00:59,184
Junk...
27
00:00:59,366 --> 00:01:01,166
- You gotta be kidding me.
- Not again.
28
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:03,672
What is it? It's from your mom's gym.
29
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,381
It's a postcard.
30
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,707
"Haven't seen you. We miss you."
31
00:01:07,732 --> 00:01:10,076
You know what? So do I.
Okay, you know what? Give me that.
32
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:11,233
I will call them right now.
33
00:01:11,259 --> 00:01:12,523
It's been over a year since she died.
34
00:01:12,548 --> 00:01:13,915
They shouldn't still be sending this.
35
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,293
That's right, right? Thank you.
36
00:01:15,318 --> 00:01:16,577
Oh, but don't throw that out.
37
00:01:16,602 --> 00:01:18,710
On the bottom there's a
coupon for a kung fu lesson.
38
00:01:18,735 --> 00:01:21,055
I wanna go to it. Yeah.
39
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,444
- Oh, no.
- What? What's the matter?
40
00:01:23,469 --> 00:01:25,939
[STAMMERS] My visa has expired.
41
00:01:25,964 --> 00:01:28,287
It states here I could get deported.
42
00:01:28,312 --> 00:01:29,507
Wow.
43
00:01:29,558 --> 00:01:31,842
Well, you keep in touch.
44
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:37,929
Dad, come on. This is serious.
Let me see that.
45
00:01:37,954 --> 00:01:41,304
It makes no sense. I-I filled
out all the proper paperwork.
46
00:01:41,329 --> 00:01:43,196
You know, you gotta stay
on top of those things
47
00:01:43,221 --> 00:01:45,015
if you wanna be a citizen.
48
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:46,407
I mean, you could say a
lot about Americans,
49
00:01:46,432 --> 00:01:48,430
but we're not lazy, you know?
50
00:01:49,305 --> 00:01:51,765
I have seen you watch
"Ray Donovan" in Spanish
51
00:01:51,790 --> 00:01:54,240
because the remote was
sitting on top of the TV.
52
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:58,702
Yeah, and now I know how to
say "Get my gun" in Español.
53
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:01,038
Dame mi pistolas.
54
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,830
Okay, wait, Dad, you sent in
Chale's sponsor form, right?
55
00:02:06,855 --> 00:02:08,394
Remember? I told you how
important that was?
56
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,191
Yes, you told me, and I sent it in.
57
00:02:10,216 --> 00:02:13,050
- You're sure?
- I'm positive. I have my own system.
58
00:02:13,075 --> 00:02:14,851
I take all the important paperwork,
59
00:02:14,876 --> 00:02:16,476
I put it right in this drawer,
60
00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:18,377
and then, once a week, I mail it out.
61
00:02:18,402 --> 00:02:20,035
Mm.
62
00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:27,213
It's still in there, isn't it?
63
00:02:27,489 --> 00:02:29,483
It's not a perfect system.
64
00:02:29,853 --> 00:02:34,975
♪ I am not your ordinary guy ♪
65
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,560
Dad, what are we gonna do?
Chale's gonna get deported.
66
00:02:37,585 --> 00:02:40,286
I can't come back in this
country for three "yahs."
67
00:02:40,311 --> 00:02:42,913
Three "yahs"!
68
00:02:44,793 --> 00:02:47,459
How many "yahs"?
69
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,204
I'd have to move back to Bungleton.
70
00:02:52,229 --> 00:02:53,736
I... I'm getting a stomachache.
71
00:02:53,761 --> 00:02:55,494
No, it's gonna be all right, okay?
72
00:02:55,519 --> 00:02:57,280
We will be together no matter what.
73
00:02:57,305 --> 00:02:58,864
I will move to England.
74
00:02:58,889 --> 00:03:01,568
Oh, actually, you'd love Bungleton.
75
00:03:01,593 --> 00:03:03,385
It's out in the countryside.
76
00:03:03,409 --> 00:03:06,030
There's chickens roaming free,
fresh eggs every morning.
77
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:08,309
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Nobody's
going to Bungleton, all right?
78
00:03:08,334 --> 00:03:09,592
And nobody's eating eggs.
79
00:03:09,617 --> 00:03:11,049
You're staying right
here on Long Island,
80
00:03:11,074 --> 00:03:13,338
where we keep the chickens
in some kind of camp
81
00:03:13,363 --> 00:03:15,237
piled up on top of each other.
82
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,696
Yeah, well, how are we
supposed to do that?
83
00:03:17,721 --> 00:03:19,058
You didn't file the paperwork.
84
00:03:19,083 --> 00:03:21,784
Yeah, I know. I made a mistake,
all right? But I will fix it.
85
00:03:21,809 --> 00:03:24,997
- And you know why?
- Because we're the Gables!
86
00:03:26,708 --> 00:03:28,567
No.
87
00:03:29,223 --> 00:03:31,845
Because I have a connection to
someone down at Immigration,
88
00:03:31,870 --> 00:03:33,208
and I'll take care of it, okay?
89
00:03:33,233 --> 00:03:34,798
- Thanks, Dad.
- Yes.
90
00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,489
Look, it's all gonna work out.
91
00:03:36,514 --> 00:03:37,980
Because we are the Gables.
92
00:03:38,005 --> 00:03:39,893
- Seriously, dude.
- You gotta stop that.
93
00:03:40,152 --> 00:03:41,618
♪
94
00:03:41,643 --> 00:03:44,310
Cellucci, over here.
95
00:03:45,015 --> 00:03:46,727
Hey.
96
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,217
How you doin'?
97
00:03:49,242 --> 00:03:50,358
Everything okay?
98
00:03:50,383 --> 00:03:52,599
Yes, yeah. I'm doin' great.
99
00:03:52,624 --> 00:03:54,983
Okay, good. Well, look
at you with the beard.
100
00:03:55,008 --> 00:03:57,404
- Yeah, it looks good, right?
- [LAUGHS] No.
101
00:03:58,757 --> 00:04:00,123
You know who you look like?
102
00:04:00,148 --> 00:04:02,335
You look like the guy...
oh, God, what's his name?
103
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,731
I can see his face.
104
00:04:03,756 --> 00:04:06,313
Come on, you know the
guy from the, um... ah!
105
00:04:06,338 --> 00:04:08,025
- Hugh Jackman?
- No. By the way,
106
00:04:08,050 --> 00:04:09,833
I wouldn't think you
looked like Hugh Jackman
107
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,877
if you had claws shooting
out of your knuckles.
108
00:04:12,662 --> 00:04:13,828
All right.
109
00:04:13,853 --> 00:04:15,381
So what's up? What can I do?
110
00:04:15,406 --> 00:04:18,823
[SIGHS] Kendra's fiancé has a
bit of an immigration problem.
111
00:04:18,848 --> 00:04:20,782
And I remember when we were
on the force together,
112
00:04:20,807 --> 00:04:24,607
you dated a guy, I think he
worked at INS, am I right?
113
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,600
No. Mm.
114
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,683
Pretty sure you did.
115
00:04:28,946 --> 00:04:34,422
Okay... I dated a manager
from CVS, but no INS.
116
00:04:35,154 --> 00:04:38,320
Are you sure? 'Cause...
first, you dated a lot,
117
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,796
and I just had the feeling that
there was an immigration guy
118
00:04:40,821 --> 00:04:43,812
- sprinkled in there.
- Okay!
119
00:04:43,837 --> 00:04:47,174
I think I would remember who I date.
120
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:48,573
Oh, Robert. Actually,
you're right, you're right.
121
00:04:48,598 --> 00:04:49,422
Yeah, see? Yes.
122
00:04:49,447 --> 00:04:51,651
I remember. Yes, yes.
123
00:04:51,969 --> 00:04:53,676
Can you do me a favor and call him?
124
00:04:53,701 --> 00:04:56,170
Oh, call him... [INHALES SHARPLY]
125
00:04:56,575 --> 00:04:58,533
Oh, what happened?
126
00:04:58,558 --> 00:05:01,259
Um, this one was not me.
127
00:05:01,284 --> 00:05:03,192
This was all him.
128
00:05:03,217 --> 00:05:05,081
We would go to the Outback Steakhouse
129
00:05:05,106 --> 00:05:08,559
and he would order with a
bad Australian accent.
130
00:05:08,645 --> 00:05:12,354
[AUSTRALIAN ACCENT] "I'll take
the Bloomin' Onion, mate!"
131
00:05:12,778 --> 00:05:15,512
You're... you're broken.
You are so broken.
132
00:05:16,039 --> 00:05:18,101
All right, well, I gotta
figure out something,
133
00:05:18,126 --> 00:05:20,109
otherwise Kendra's gonna
be movin' to England.
134
00:05:20,134 --> 00:05:22,486
Okay, you know what? I have
been blowing this guy off
135
00:05:22,511 --> 00:05:25,344
for three years, but for
you, I will call him.
136
00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:26,858
[GASPS] Oh!
137
00:05:26,883 --> 00:05:29,317
I just figured out who you look like!
138
00:05:29,342 --> 00:05:31,979
- Who?
- Pavarotti!
139
00:05:32,797 --> 00:05:35,294
♪
140
00:05:36,507 --> 00:05:37,673
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
141
00:05:37,698 --> 00:05:39,016
Do you think he really
went to the bathroom
142
00:05:39,041 --> 00:05:42,091
or is he secretly running
a background check on me?
143
00:05:42,116 --> 00:05:45,637
Well, he had a key attached to
a giant wooden paddle, so...
144
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:47,723
I'm guessing bathroom.
145
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,381
Just stay calm. Vanessa
talked to the guy.
146
00:05:50,406 --> 00:05:52,039
- It's gonna be fine.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
147
00:05:52,064 --> 00:05:54,429
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- [TELEPHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE]
148
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,500
- Thank you for waiting.
- Not a problem.
149
00:05:56,525 --> 00:05:58,828
Uh, by the way, Vanessa
Cellucci says hello.
150
00:05:58,853 --> 00:06:01,586
Oh, Vanessa. We spoke on the phone.
151
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:05,367
Can you believe she spent three
years helping kids overseas?
152
00:06:05,473 --> 00:06:08,116
She's a real saint, that one.
153
00:06:08,926 --> 00:06:10,999
We're, uh, we're supposed
to go to dinner tonight.
154
00:06:11,024 --> 00:06:14,041
Hey, I hear she loves that
Outback Steakhouse, huh?
155
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,220
[AUSTRALIAN ACCENT] Already
made the reservation, mate.
156
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:19,179
- [LAUGHING]
- Now... [CLEARS THROAT]
157
00:06:19,204 --> 00:06:22,068
Let me see if I can provide
some assistance in this matter,
158
00:06:22,093 --> 00:06:22,827
Mr. Witt?
159
00:06:22,852 --> 00:06:25,086
Yes, Chale Eugene Witt.
160
00:06:25,111 --> 00:06:27,079
Okay, I just need to
verify some information.
161
00:06:27,104 --> 00:06:29,738
Are you still living
at 2257 Seville Lane?
162
00:06:29,763 --> 00:06:31,330
Yes. Yes, we are.
163
00:06:31,355 --> 00:06:34,129
Wait a minute, you... you live together?
164
00:06:34,455 --> 00:06:36,555
No, he... he lives in my garage.
165
00:06:36,580 --> 00:06:38,947
Oh, well, it's listed
here as an apartment.
166
00:06:38,972 --> 00:06:40,403
Is this a legal residence?
167
00:06:40,428 --> 00:06:43,062
Legal? Uh, you know, as far
as the permits and stuff,
168
00:06:43,087 --> 00:06:45,701
I kinda wanted to fly under the radar.
169
00:06:46,159 --> 00:06:47,690
But it is up to code?
170
00:06:47,715 --> 00:06:50,182
Yes, yeah, definitely up to code.
171
00:06:50,504 --> 00:06:53,205
It's my code, but it's up there.
172
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:54,657
Yeah, same address. We're at the same...
173
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,249
Okay, then he pays rent?
174
00:06:56,274 --> 00:06:59,219
[LAUGHING] In your dreams.
175
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,843
[CLEARS THROAT]
176
00:07:00,868 --> 00:07:03,757
Why... why is that funny, Mr. Gable?
177
00:07:03,781 --> 00:07:05,617
Oh, I'm sorry, it's just
an inside joke we have
178
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:06,841
'cause he's usually unemployed.
179
00:07:06,866 --> 00:07:09,300
Oh, well, it says here
that you are employed.
180
00:07:09,791 --> 00:07:13,835
Well, I was. I was working
for a tech startup.
181
00:07:13,968 --> 00:07:15,434
Okay, and how long were you there?
182
00:07:15,459 --> 00:07:17,896
Let's see... October, November...
183
00:07:17,921 --> 00:07:20,733
I was there for a week and a half.
184
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,948
You know, I have some,
uh, some concerns.
185
00:07:26,147 --> 00:07:28,630
Since you are a friend of Vanessa's,
186
00:07:28,655 --> 00:07:30,855
I think we can extend your visa.
187
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:32,313
- [CHUCKLING]
- [GASPS]
188
00:07:32,338 --> 00:07:34,939
That's... that's a great
call right there, you know.
189
00:07:34,964 --> 00:07:36,401
It's not like he's a
terrorist or something.
190
00:07:36,426 --> 00:07:38,226
You're not... are you,
you little terrorist?
191
00:07:38,251 --> 00:07:40,618
[LAUGHS] You little terrorist.
192
00:07:43,405 --> 00:07:46,740
So we, uh, do we sign
something, or just we can go?
193
00:07:46,765 --> 00:07:48,531
We're free to go, right? I
think we get out of here,
194
00:07:48,556 --> 00:07:50,387
wanna get some ice cream?
195
00:07:52,258 --> 00:07:55,868
Mr. Gable, I did not bring up terrorism.
196
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:56,829
Is there a reason you did?
197
00:07:56,854 --> 00:07:58,687
N-no. No, I was saying
he's not a terrorist.
198
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,178
- He's harmless. I mean, he...
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]
199
00:08:00,203 --> 00:08:02,610
He spends all day in my garage, right?
200
00:08:02,635 --> 00:08:03,704
Working out those little formulas
201
00:08:03,729 --> 00:08:04,814
on his crazy little white board.
202
00:08:04,839 --> 00:08:06,529
Mr. Gable, please stop talking!
203
00:08:07,402 --> 00:08:08,801
I'll stop talking.
204
00:08:09,182 --> 00:08:11,234
♪
205
00:08:11,774 --> 00:08:14,598
In 36 hours, they can kick
me out of the country.
206
00:08:14,623 --> 00:08:16,763
There's nothing I can do about it.
207
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,807
Hey, on the positive, it's
nice to know our government
208
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,421
takes immigration pretty seriously.
209
00:08:21,881 --> 00:08:23,787
I will take comfort in that thought
210
00:08:23,812 --> 00:08:25,275
on the barge ride back to England.
211
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:27,026
Well, what if we get married, you know?
212
00:08:27,051 --> 00:08:29,511
- That'll make you a citizen.
- By tomorrow?
213
00:08:29,535 --> 00:08:31,435
Yeah. Chale, I love you, okay?
214
00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:33,231
We can just run down to
city hall and do it.
215
00:08:33,256 --> 00:08:34,955
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a sec.
216
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:37,226
- I realize part of this is my fault.
- Part?
217
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:39,462
Okay, let's not point
fingers, all right?
218
00:08:39,487 --> 00:08:40,721
But don't you want to
get married the way
219
00:08:40,746 --> 00:08:41,877
we always talked about?
220
00:08:41,902 --> 00:08:43,479
Right? The church, Father Philip,
221
00:08:43,504 --> 00:08:45,037
your mother's dress?
222
00:08:45,062 --> 00:08:47,539
Yeah, of course, but, I mean,
how are we gonna pull that off
223
00:08:47,564 --> 00:08:48,905
by tomorrow night?
224
00:08:48,930 --> 00:08:51,843
[SCOFFS] We have a whole day. All right?
225
00:08:51,868 --> 00:08:53,993
Look, this wedding is happening.
226
00:08:54,315 --> 00:08:57,116
I'm not losing my daughter, all right?
You wanna know why?
227
00:08:57,141 --> 00:08:58,540
We're the Gables.
228
00:08:58,565 --> 00:08:59,931
Exactly.
229
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:02,876
We're the... oh, crap.
I missed it again!
230
00:09:05,298 --> 00:09:08,516
No, I need the flowers today.
It's my wedding.
231
00:09:08,541 --> 00:09:11,766
I know it's last minute, but
is there anything you can do?
232
00:09:12,362 --> 00:09:14,062
Hey. What's going on?
233
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,525
I heard you're changing
the wedding plans
234
00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:17,891
without consulting the best man?
235
00:09:17,916 --> 00:09:19,983
There are rules, missy.
236
00:09:20,272 --> 00:09:23,173
No, no, no, please, please don't
put me on hold. Oh, crap.
237
00:09:23,198 --> 00:09:24,464
I had the whole thing planned.
238
00:09:24,489 --> 00:09:26,422
Okay, Uncle Kyle, I really
can't do this right now.
239
00:09:26,447 --> 00:09:27,975
- [SIGHS]
- I had the whole thing planned.
240
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,708
Kyle, I can't do this right
now either, all right?
241
00:09:29,733 --> 00:09:30,952
Just go to work and I'll tell
you what's happening, okay?
242
00:09:30,977 --> 00:09:32,827
All right, fine, but don't call
me the best man, all right?
243
00:09:32,852 --> 00:09:35,586
Call me "the nobody ever
tells me anything" man.
244
00:09:38,389 --> 00:09:39,988
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- All right, I got a church lined up.
245
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,579
The only problem is,
Father Philip is out
246
00:09:41,604 --> 00:09:43,204
in Patchogue, so I'm gonna swing
out there and pick him up.
247
00:09:43,229 --> 00:09:44,695
What? No, why can't you just call him?
248
00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:48,055
He's on some kind of retreat,
and they... I guess no phones.
249
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,089
[SIGHS]
250
00:09:49,114 --> 00:09:50,223
Hey.
251
00:09:50,377 --> 00:09:52,510
How did you mess up at Immigration?
252
00:09:52,535 --> 00:09:54,848
I had to eat two Bloomin' Onions!
253
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:57,579
It got away from me, but it's all right.
254
00:09:57,604 --> 00:09:59,237
Change in plans, they're
getting married.
255
00:09:59,262 --> 00:10:01,563
But Dad, my dress doesn't
fit and we have no flowers.
256
00:10:01,588 --> 00:10:03,350
I don't know how we're going
to pull this off by tonight.
257
00:10:03,375 --> 00:10:04,574
Honey, please, do not get upset.
258
00:10:04,599 --> 00:10:05,999
In fact, I think you
should get ready to smile.
259
00:10:06,024 --> 00:10:08,357
Because when I get back
here, I'll fix your dress.
260
00:10:08,382 --> 00:10:09,360
I'll take care of everything.
261
00:10:09,385 --> 00:10:10,492
All right, do you want
your hair blown out?
262
00:10:10,517 --> 00:10:11,683
I'll blow it out. I'll blow 'em all out.
263
00:10:11,708 --> 00:10:13,304
I'm gonna go crazy. I'll
pluck your eyebrows.
264
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:16,900
I'll pluck the crap out of them.
I promise. You're gonna be fine.
265
00:10:16,925 --> 00:10:18,925
I'll paint your nails. I'll put
little Met symbols on there.
266
00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:20,244
We're gonna be good.
267
00:10:20,269 --> 00:10:22,236
You're gonna love it. I
think I'm gonna cry.
268
00:10:22,261 --> 00:10:23,928
Me, too. It's gonna be an emotional day.
269
00:10:23,953 --> 00:10:26,020
- I think I'm happy about it.
- Okay, no. Stop. Stop all this.
270
00:10:26,045 --> 00:10:27,367
Stop all this nonsense, okay?
271
00:10:27,392 --> 00:10:28,984
I will take care of this.
272
00:10:29,009 --> 00:10:30,742
You've already screwed this up enough.
273
00:10:30,767 --> 00:10:32,534
So you just get the priest,
and I'll handle the rest.
274
00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:34,726
- Go, go.
- [SIGHS]
275
00:10:34,751 --> 00:10:36,611
Am I still blowing out your
hair, or is she gonna...
276
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,757
Go!
277
00:10:39,602 --> 00:10:43,076
["THE BATTLE HYMN OF
THE REPUBLIC" PLAYING]
278
00:10:43,141 --> 00:10:47,737
♪
279
00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:53,143
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
280
00:10:53,284 --> 00:10:55,026
What kind of retreat is this?
281
00:10:55,051 --> 00:10:59,363
♪
282
00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:02,788
Goody?
283
00:11:03,571 --> 00:11:05,874
Goody, I see you.
284
00:11:07,482 --> 00:11:08,881
What are you doing here?
285
00:11:08,905 --> 00:11:11,954
It's a Civil War re-enactment,
and my name's not Goody.
286
00:11:11,979 --> 00:11:14,382
Around here, I'm Private
Lando Calrissian.
287
00:11:14,487 --> 00:11:17,221
Yeah, we get to pick our own names.
288
00:11:17,879 --> 00:11:19,913
I never knew you were a
fan of the Civil War.
289
00:11:19,938 --> 00:11:22,933
Every black man's a
fan of the Civil War.
290
00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:26,759
What are you doing here? I
gotta find Father Philip.
291
00:11:26,784 --> 00:11:29,163
Oh, this year, he's
fighting for the South.
292
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:31,625
He's over in the command tent
next to the meat smoker.
293
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:33,383
The Confederates get brisket.
294
00:11:33,408 --> 00:11:35,324
Must be nice!
295
00:11:36,769 --> 00:11:41,122
[BANJO PLAYING,
INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
296
00:11:43,344 --> 00:11:44,543
Philip?
297
00:11:44,568 --> 00:11:46,769
Afraid you have me confused, son.
298
00:11:46,794 --> 00:11:48,614
I got an emergency, all right?
299
00:11:48,639 --> 00:11:51,265
Kendra and Chale... they
need to get married today,
300
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:53,798
or Chale's gonna be deported.
You gotta come with me.
301
00:11:53,823 --> 00:11:57,353
Oh, you're killing me.
I'm finally a general!
302
00:11:57,378 --> 00:11:59,758
I've been waiting 21 years for this.
303
00:11:59,783 --> 00:12:03,223
I get it. Donna always wanted you
to be the one to marry them,
304
00:12:03,248 --> 00:12:05,915
just like you married us.
This is my dream!
305
00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:07,865
Look, everybody has a dream, right?
306
00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:10,724
But you are in a field
behind a Home Depot
307
00:12:10,749 --> 00:12:12,747
with a glue-on beard, so...
308
00:12:13,016 --> 00:12:15,110
Let me address my men.
309
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:16,801
Great, great. Thank you very much.
310
00:12:16,826 --> 00:12:17,734
How long is that gonna take?
311
00:12:17,759 --> 00:12:20,210
Well, historically, I
gotta give a speech,
312
00:12:20,235 --> 00:12:21,985
and he gets shot by friendly-fire,
313
00:12:22,010 --> 00:12:24,492
and then he gets an infection,
dies a horrible death.
314
00:12:24,517 --> 00:12:25,789
Love it. Go to town.
315
00:12:25,814 --> 00:12:28,066
♪
316
00:12:28,398 --> 00:12:30,131
Thank you, sweetie.
317
00:12:30,156 --> 00:12:33,039
Okay, flowers done, dress done.
318
00:12:33,064 --> 00:12:34,963
Oh! I almost forgot.
319
00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:41,397
Welcome to your bachelorette party.
320
00:12:42,169 --> 00:12:44,836
All right, well, it's not
exactly the one I envisioned.
321
00:12:44,861 --> 00:12:45,890
But I appreciate it.
322
00:12:45,915 --> 00:12:47,514
Hey, wait, do you want me
to call a male dancer?
323
00:12:47,539 --> 00:12:50,440
I have a fireman, a
policeman, a plumber.
324
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:51,666
What's your fancy?
325
00:12:51,691 --> 00:12:53,391
[EXHALES]
326
00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:54,658
You okay?
327
00:12:54,683 --> 00:12:56,962
You know, we've been talking
about this wedding for so long
328
00:12:56,987 --> 00:12:59,323
and it was always just an idea,
329
00:12:59,348 --> 00:13:01,771
and now it's actually happening,
and I'm kind of freaking out.
330
00:13:01,796 --> 00:13:04,130
Yeah, take it from someone
331
00:13:04,155 --> 00:13:06,143
who was supposed to be
married four times...
332
00:13:06,168 --> 00:13:08,344
well, one doesn't actually count because
333
00:13:08,369 --> 00:13:10,503
I wasn't technically 18 yet.
334
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:12,027
- What?!
- But, uh, yes.
335
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:14,105
My point is,
336
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:18,299
can you imagine yourself without...
337
00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:19,816
What's his name?
338
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:21,428
Chale.
339
00:13:21,859 --> 00:13:24,306
Can you imagine your life
without Chale in it?
340
00:13:24,722 --> 00:13:26,969
No, I can't.
341
00:13:26,994 --> 00:13:29,399
Can you imagine your
life with someone else?
342
00:13:29,425 --> 00:13:30,724
No.
343
00:13:31,098 --> 00:13:32,896
Well, there you go.
344
00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:35,969
Thank you for being here.
345
00:13:35,994 --> 00:13:37,194
You're welcome.
346
00:13:37,475 --> 00:13:39,008
Wait, did you say one of the strippers
347
00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:40,344
dances as a plumber?
348
00:13:40,369 --> 00:13:41,728
No, no, no, he is a plumber.
349
00:13:41,753 --> 00:13:43,759
He just likes to take his pants off.
350
00:13:45,187 --> 00:13:49,756
Come tomorrow, the sun may not
shine upon our countenance,
351
00:13:49,781 --> 00:13:53,249
and surely, some of you
will be called to embrace
352
00:13:53,274 --> 00:13:55,174
the greatest of mysteries.
353
00:13:55,294 --> 00:13:57,394
All right, come on. Pick it up.
354
00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:00,821
And in that undying land, our
great solace shall be...
355
00:14:00,871 --> 00:14:02,530
How long does this go on for?
356
00:14:02,555 --> 00:14:03,929
About half an hour.
357
00:14:03,954 --> 00:14:05,382
Then the ice cream truck comes.
358
00:14:05,407 --> 00:14:07,597
Then we go to battle. Half an hour?
359
00:14:07,622 --> 00:14:09,600
Give me this!
360
00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:10,938
Bang!
361
00:14:11,790 --> 00:14:14,478
Bang, bang, you're dead. Come on.
Let's get going.
362
00:14:14,503 --> 00:14:17,804
Relax, men. Caught in the
arm, totally superficial.
363
00:14:17,829 --> 00:14:19,069
Now...
364
00:14:19,094 --> 00:14:20,227
♪
365
00:14:20,252 --> 00:14:22,156
- [SCREAMS]
- Oh, boy.
366
00:14:22,181 --> 00:14:23,670
[YELLING]
367
00:14:23,695 --> 00:14:27,661
- No!
- [CONTINUES YELLING]
368
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,349
♪
369
00:14:38,518 --> 00:14:40,518
All right, okay.
370
00:14:40,543 --> 00:14:42,788
You... Kevin, you got me.
371
00:14:44,379 --> 00:14:46,256
Nice one, dawg.
372
00:14:46,281 --> 00:14:47,972
All right, men!
373
00:14:47,997 --> 00:14:50,726
The time has come for battle!
374
00:14:50,751 --> 00:14:52,885
- [CHEERING]
- [BELL RINGING]
375
00:14:52,910 --> 00:14:54,572
Ooh, ice cream truck.
376
00:14:54,597 --> 00:14:56,163
[CHEERING]
377
00:14:56,188 --> 00:14:57,533
[BELL CONTINUES RINGING]
378
00:14:57,707 --> 00:14:59,735
♪
379
00:14:59,879 --> 00:15:02,158
All right, Chale, it's completely
normal that you're nervous.
380
00:15:02,183 --> 00:15:03,816
And it's the anxiety that's
giving you stomach pain.
381
00:15:04,377 --> 00:15:06,132
I don't think it's that, Jack.
382
00:15:06,157 --> 00:15:08,050
Well, I looked it up online,
and it's either that
383
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:10,034
or you've got a ruptured ovary.
384
00:15:12,892 --> 00:15:15,359
All right, my dad's got Father Philip.
385
00:15:15,384 --> 00:15:17,705
We got the dress, we got the flowers.
386
00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:19,010
Looks like you're stuck with me.
387
00:15:19,035 --> 00:15:20,801
[STRAINED VOICE] Yay, wonderful. Oh!
388
00:15:20,826 --> 00:15:24,052
Sorry, darling, I'm just feeling
a little bit out of sorts.
389
00:15:24,077 --> 00:15:26,611
Wait, what? Okay, wait.
What's going on here?
390
00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:28,403
Are you... are you, like,
getting cold feet?
391
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,762
It's his ovaries.
392
00:15:31,152 --> 00:15:32,956
Okay, no, babe.
393
00:15:32,981 --> 00:15:35,110
You need to talk to me.
394
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,558
Do you not wanna do this?
395
00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:38,065
No, of course I do.
396
00:15:38,090 --> 00:15:39,465
Because if you don't, we don't have to.
397
00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:41,790
No, no, no, no. No, I... look,
398
00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:44,366
I have always known that
I wanted to marry you.
399
00:15:44,391 --> 00:15:46,992
I-I knew two days before we ever met.
400
00:15:47,017 --> 00:15:48,883
How is that even possible?
401
00:15:48,908 --> 00:15:52,076
I was in the engineering
building, you were in the quad,
402
00:15:52,101 --> 00:15:54,754
and I followed you back to your dorm
403
00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:56,371
staring at the back of
your head, whispering...
404
00:15:56,396 --> 00:15:59,213
[WHISPERS] "I am gonna marry that girl."
405
00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:03,213
That's a little creepy, but so sweet.
406
00:16:03,238 --> 00:16:04,688
I love you, Chale.
407
00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:07,844
Hey, I love... ow, ow, ow. Aah!
408
00:16:07,869 --> 00:16:09,220
- What...
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
409
00:16:09,245 --> 00:16:10,494
Hey, what's going on?
410
00:16:10,519 --> 00:16:12,916
Oh, my stomach's killing me. Aah!
411
00:16:12,941 --> 00:16:15,313
Let me see. Let me see. Does this hurt?
412
00:16:15,338 --> 00:16:17,463
It... Yes, yeah, yeah. Okay.
You know what, baby?
413
00:16:17,488 --> 00:16:19,187
I don't think a wedding is gonna happen.
414
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,564
This might be his appendix.
415
00:16:20,589 --> 00:16:22,066
- What?
- We gotta take him to the hospital.
416
00:16:22,091 --> 00:16:23,917
- Yes, right now. Let's go.
- [GROANS] Ow, ow.
417
00:16:23,942 --> 00:16:26,143
- Come on, I'll help you up.
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
418
00:16:26,728 --> 00:16:28,490
Somebody call a plumber?
419
00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:42,556
Surprise.
420
00:16:42,581 --> 00:16:44,548
♪
421
00:16:46,308 --> 00:16:49,317
Hey. Hey, how you feelin'?
422
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,978
Oh, a bit woozy. What happened?
423
00:16:53,003 --> 00:16:57,015
You had appendicitis, and they
had to do emergency surgery.
424
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,829
So that's it? We're...
we're not gonna make it.
425
00:16:59,854 --> 00:17:01,192
I'm gonna get deported.
426
00:17:01,217 --> 00:17:02,973
No, no, no. It's okay, sweetheart, okay?
427
00:17:02,998 --> 00:17:05,825
I'm coming with you. We're
going to Bungleton.
428
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,903
Full disclosure, Bungleton is...
429
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,573
not as beautiful as it sounds.
430
00:17:12,979 --> 00:17:15,626
Hey. We got a priest, we got a best man,
431
00:17:15,651 --> 00:17:17,537
- we're doing a wedding.
- Wait, what?
432
00:17:17,562 --> 00:17:19,272
Yeah, and I got the wedding dress.
433
00:17:19,297 --> 00:17:20,998
- There you go, huh?
- [DOOR CLOSES]
434
00:17:21,023 --> 00:17:23,882
Uh, Mr. Gable, I don't think
I can make it to the church.
435
00:17:23,907 --> 00:17:25,240
I'm sorry.
436
00:17:25,265 --> 00:17:27,234
Look, Father, is there any
way we can marry them here?
437
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:30,852
Oh, well, not in the room, but
maybe they have a chapel.
438
00:17:30,877 --> 00:17:32,595
Yeah, yeah, uh,
439
00:17:32,826 --> 00:17:34,525
give me five minutes.
440
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:36,475
Let me show you why I'm the best man.
441
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:39,134
Let's go, people. I said gas leak.
442
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:42,155
Not kidding around. Let's go.
Move it out.
443
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,407
Come on, Nana. Slap some
hot sauce on it. Let's go.
444
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,131
Pick up the pace.
445
00:17:49,430 --> 00:17:52,308
[SINGSONGY] Here comes the bride.
446
00:17:54,610 --> 00:17:56,339
Wow.
447
00:17:56,938 --> 00:17:58,405
Well?
448
00:17:58,430 --> 00:18:00,140
Do you like it?
449
00:18:00,729 --> 00:18:03,791
You... you look beautiful.
450
00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:06,031
We... we went with the hair up
451
00:18:06,056 --> 00:18:07,595
'cause I thought it was a classier look.
452
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,653
I used to wear it like this when, uh...
453
00:18:11,981 --> 00:18:14,752
You know what? This is not my moment.
454
00:18:14,776 --> 00:18:16,847
And I just realized that.
455
00:18:18,601 --> 00:18:20,685
I'll see ya at the chapel.
456
00:18:22,294 --> 00:18:23,994
[DOOR CLOSES]
457
00:18:24,019 --> 00:18:25,535
When did this happen?
458
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,812
It feels like just yesterday you were...
459
00:18:29,648 --> 00:18:31,414
you were different.
460
00:18:31,439 --> 00:18:34,440
- You were my little peanut, you know?
- [CHUCKLES]
461
00:18:34,465 --> 00:18:38,093
I remember, you would fit
right in here just perfectly.
462
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,185
And you'd fall asleep.
463
00:18:40,646 --> 00:18:42,668
And I just stayed up all night
464
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,015
until you woke up.
465
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,918
Dad.
466
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,047
[EXHALES] Oh, gosh, then you got older.
467
00:18:50,072 --> 00:18:51,681
And you remember that bike I got you?
You know,
468
00:18:51,706 --> 00:18:54,008
the one with the streamers and I
put that little bell on there?
469
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:56,033
Then I took your training wheels off?
470
00:18:56,058 --> 00:18:58,345
Yeah, and then you pushed
me into the street
471
00:18:58,370 --> 00:18:59,447
without any warning?
472
00:18:59,908 --> 00:19:03,104
- Can you ride a bike or not?
- [LAUGHS]
473
00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:06,480
We're just missing one thing.
474
00:19:06,505 --> 00:19:08,338
I know.
475
00:19:08,363 --> 00:19:09,855
I wish Mom was here, too.
476
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,146
I know.
477
00:19:11,894 --> 00:19:13,995
She'd be very proud of you.
478
00:19:15,709 --> 00:19:17,160
All right, well, time's ticking.
479
00:19:17,185 --> 00:19:19,686
Let's get you married, all right?
Come on.
480
00:19:21,917 --> 00:19:23,416
On two. Ready.
481
00:19:23,441 --> 00:19:25,458
There we go.
482
00:19:25,483 --> 00:19:28,773
- You ready?
- Yeah.
483
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:32,835
["THE WEDDING MARCH" PLAYING]
484
00:19:32,868 --> 00:19:35,870
♪
485
00:19:36,391 --> 00:19:38,524
I'm really sorry you're
not getting the wedding
486
00:19:38,549 --> 00:19:39,979
you always wanted.
487
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:42,171
Actually, Dad, I am.
488
00:19:42,196 --> 00:19:44,744
Thank you. You pulled it off.
489
00:19:44,769 --> 00:19:46,969
[CHUCKLES] It's not perfect,
490
00:19:46,994 --> 00:19:49,522
but... it's perfect.
491
00:19:50,275 --> 00:19:51,860
Yeah.
492
00:19:51,885 --> 00:19:54,068
♪
493
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:56,931
Boy, Chale really needs to tie
up the back of that gown.
494
00:20:04,925 --> 00:20:07,923
Look, I know this isn't the
reception we dreamed of,
495
00:20:07,948 --> 00:20:10,409
but much like the wedding, it was free.
496
00:20:10,486 --> 00:20:13,846
[BUGLE PLAYING "TAPS"]
497
00:20:14,043 --> 00:20:17,510
None of my business, but
I would've hired a DJ.
498
00:20:17,911 --> 00:20:20,779
♪
499
00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:23,171
All right, gentlemen,
I'm here to announce
500
00:20:23,196 --> 00:20:25,454
the General has died of sepsis.
501
00:20:25,479 --> 00:20:28,219
Not the greatest wedding toast.
502
00:20:28,633 --> 00:20:31,328
♪
503
00:20:32,844 --> 00:20:36,781
Well, look, wedding can't
get any worse, right?
504
00:20:37,314 --> 00:20:39,155
Anyone call a plumber?
505
00:20:39,330 --> 00:20:46,483
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
37318
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