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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,032 --> 00:00:01,865 ♪ 2 00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:04,785 Oh. You're here. 3 00:00:05,885 --> 00:00:07,956 Yes, it's my house. 4 00:00:08,950 --> 00:00:10,788 Now it's my turn. 5 00:00:10,813 --> 00:00:13,047 [British accent] Oh. You're here. 6 00:00:14,016 --> 00:00:15,315 With good reason. 7 00:00:15,340 --> 00:00:18,576 Kendra and I are dropping your little ones off at sleepovers. 8 00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:22,272 The least I can do for allowing me to live in your garage 9 00:00:22,297 --> 00:00:24,136 and marry your daughter... All of it. 10 00:00:24,161 --> 00:00:25,423 Um... 11 00:00:25,707 --> 00:00:27,951 And just know... I respect your boundaries, 12 00:00:27,976 --> 00:00:30,015 so please pretend I'm invisible. 13 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,639 [Normal voice] I like that. 14 00:00:31,796 --> 00:00:33,810 But it's hard to pretend you're invisible 15 00:00:33,835 --> 00:00:36,560 when I can still see you, so... 16 00:00:37,096 --> 00:00:39,270 Ssst. Back a little it. Yeah, there you go. 17 00:00:39,295 --> 00:00:41,568 Still got a little peripheral on you. Right there. 18 00:00:41,593 --> 00:00:43,253 Yep, back, back. 19 00:00:43,278 --> 00:00:45,264 There you go. 20 00:00:45,289 --> 00:00:47,306 - Dad? - Yeah. 21 00:00:47,331 --> 00:00:48,392 Oh! Dad. 22 00:00:48,417 --> 00:00:51,548 Okay, I cannot study up there. This is ridiculous. 23 00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:54,043 I shouldn't have to share a room with my baby sister. 24 00:00:54,068 --> 00:00:54,809 It's torture. 25 00:00:54,834 --> 00:00:56,333 Oh, come on, it's not that bad, all right? 26 00:00:56,358 --> 00:00:57,474 Oh, it is. 27 00:00:57,499 --> 00:00:58,813 She's biting her fingernails 28 00:00:58,838 --> 00:01:00,599 and spitting them into a Gatorade bottle. 29 00:01:02,143 --> 00:01:03,143 Okay. 30 00:01:03,168 --> 00:01:05,070 My Gatorade bottle. 31 00:01:05,339 --> 00:01:07,016 At least she's grooming, all right? 32 00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:08,163 It's a step in the right direction. 33 00:01:08,188 --> 00:01:09,545 Oh, come on, Dad. 34 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,586 Why can't I just live in the garage with Chale? 35 00:01:11,611 --> 00:01:12,727 I mean, we're engaged. 36 00:01:12,752 --> 00:01:15,226 Yeah, exactly, you're not married yet... if ever. 37 00:01:15,251 --> 00:01:16,833 My house, my rules. 38 00:01:16,858 --> 00:01:18,732 Fine, but we are going to revisit this. 39 00:01:18,757 --> 00:01:20,582 Absolutely... Right after the wedding. 40 00:01:21,910 --> 00:01:23,412 And even then, probably not. 41 00:01:23,437 --> 00:01:25,157 Dad. 42 00:01:25,647 --> 00:01:28,191 - Love you. - Oh. Have fun tonight, okay? 43 00:01:28,216 --> 00:01:29,956 I took $10 out of your wallet, 44 00:01:29,981 --> 00:01:31,549 but I told you, so it's not stealing. 45 00:01:32,281 --> 00:01:35,880 I only took $5 'cause you... You raised me right. 46 00:01:35,905 --> 00:01:37,481 Boom! 47 00:01:42,487 --> 00:01:45,089 There we go. 48 00:01:46,101 --> 00:01:48,273 There you are. Nice. 49 00:01:48,298 --> 00:01:49,585 Okay. 50 00:01:56,889 --> 00:01:58,955 Oh. Ohh. 51 00:01:59,130 --> 00:02:00,601 Oh. 52 00:02:20,187 --> 00:02:21,559 - [Door closes] - Donna: Hey, honey. 53 00:02:21,584 --> 00:02:22,647 Hey. 54 00:02:25,516 --> 00:02:27,980 Dug too deep in your bread bowl again, didn't you? 55 00:02:28,005 --> 00:02:29,834 I did, yeah. 56 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,138 The store was a madhouse. 57 00:02:32,163 --> 00:02:32,995 Oh. 58 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,936 What... A slab of Brie? 59 00:02:34,961 --> 00:02:35,815 Yeah. 60 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,536 Hey, honey, you know my rule on cheeses. 61 00:02:37,561 --> 00:02:40,288 Yes... "if it's not individually wrapped, forget that crap." 62 00:02:40,313 --> 00:02:41,696 Yes. 63 00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:44,760 But don't worry, because it's not for you. 64 00:02:44,785 --> 00:02:47,096 I have my book club coming over tonight. It's gonna be fun. 65 00:02:47,121 --> 00:02:49,000 Wait a sec... I got the guys tonight. 66 00:02:49,026 --> 00:02:51,457 No, go to Mott's house. He's got a big place. 67 00:02:51,482 --> 00:02:52,783 Yeah, he's also got seven kids, 68 00:02:52,808 --> 00:02:54,914 and the twins are usually in a naked slap fight. 69 00:02:56,433 --> 00:02:58,274 Okay, well, I'm not canceling. 70 00:02:58,299 --> 00:03:00,276 It's my first time hosting, and I'm excited. 71 00:03:00,301 --> 00:03:01,212 - Excited? - Yeah. 72 00:03:01,237 --> 00:03:03,436 Oh, let me see. Baseball... 73 00:03:03,461 --> 00:03:04,732 book club. 74 00:03:04,757 --> 00:03:06,366 Ooh. Mm. 75 00:03:06,391 --> 00:03:07,420 Whoosh! 76 00:03:07,471 --> 00:03:10,463 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 77 00:03:10,488 --> 00:03:15,065 ♪ I am not your ordinary guy ♪ 78 00:03:16,304 --> 00:03:17,677 Sorry I'm late. 79 00:03:17,702 --> 00:03:20,412 My mother's foot veins are flaring up again. 80 00:03:21,195 --> 00:03:23,678 Tell your mother to plop her feet in a bucket of hot water 81 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,021 for 10 minutes, 82 00:03:25,046 --> 00:03:27,360 then ice them, then back to heat. 83 00:03:27,442 --> 00:03:30,297 I heard it was ice, heat, ice. 84 00:03:30,454 --> 00:03:31,724 Heat, ice. 85 00:03:32,427 --> 00:03:34,250 Guys, guys, guys, hey, do me a favor. 86 00:03:34,275 --> 00:03:35,402 Slow down on this conversation, 87 00:03:35,427 --> 00:03:38,401 'cause I want to catch all the de... [Snores] 88 00:03:39,301 --> 00:03:43,023 [Women laughing] 89 00:03:43,462 --> 00:03:44,919 What's going on in there? 90 00:03:44,944 --> 00:03:47,246 Oh, Donna's got her book club. 91 00:03:47,271 --> 00:03:49,400 I don't what they're doing, but it sounds pretty wild. 92 00:03:49,425 --> 00:03:50,654 [Laughter continues] 93 00:03:50,679 --> 00:03:52,206 You know what? 94 00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:53,925 It's pretty wild in here, too, okay, guys? 95 00:03:53,950 --> 00:03:55,125 I'm gonna get some more chips. 96 00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:56,326 Let's focus on the game, all right? 97 00:03:56,351 --> 00:03:57,767 Mets are only down by 9. 98 00:03:57,792 --> 00:04:00,014 Seriously. Let's fix the mojo in here. 99 00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:02,598 Switch seats, stand up, move around. Come on. 100 00:04:02,872 --> 00:04:06,788 - No, I got this, I got this. - [Chanting "Chug!"] 101 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:09,384 [Cheering, laughter] 102 00:04:09,642 --> 00:04:11,926 I'm sorry, honey. Are we getting too loud in here? 103 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,258 Uh, no. Are we, uh... We too loud out there? 104 00:04:14,283 --> 00:04:17,641 No, to be honest, I didn't even know you were still in there. 105 00:04:17,666 --> 00:04:20,034 Have there been people in that room the whole night? 106 00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,739 Oh. Yeah, it's off the chain! 107 00:04:22,764 --> 00:04:24,898 [Laughter] 108 00:04:28,987 --> 00:04:32,431 We moved. The Phillies scored. We moved back. 109 00:04:33,408 --> 00:04:36,402 Come on, guys. Motty! Shotgun! 110 00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:38,300 - Yeah, get it. - What the hell?! 111 00:04:38,325 --> 00:04:39,275 Chug it, man! 112 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,784 I don't want to chug it! You chipped it! 113 00:04:40,809 --> 00:04:42,035 I didn't chip it! Chug it! 114 00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:44,395 No, you chipped it, guy! Get him a towel! 115 00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:46,989 Ugh! Fine! 116 00:04:47,014 --> 00:04:48,376 [Laughter] 117 00:04:48,401 --> 00:04:49,692 Hey. Everything okay? 118 00:04:49,717 --> 00:04:52,040 Ohh. Yeah. You know what? It's... it's just great. 119 00:04:52,065 --> 00:04:54,128 Mott puked. We just hit another level out here. 120 00:04:54,153 --> 00:04:55,352 Whoo! 121 00:04:59,601 --> 00:05:02,903 [Laughter continues] 122 00:05:08,671 --> 00:05:11,822 ♪ 123 00:05:11,847 --> 00:05:13,383 [Chuckles] 124 00:05:13,725 --> 00:05:14,857 What's up? 125 00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:15,988 Oh, nothing. 126 00:05:16,013 --> 00:05:18,566 It's just something that happened at the book club. 127 00:05:18,591 --> 00:05:19,647 Oh. 128 00:05:20,172 --> 00:05:22,942 [Giggles] 129 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,797 What? 130 00:05:24,822 --> 00:05:26,329 Oh, we had something, too. 131 00:05:26,354 --> 00:05:29,113 Uh, Duffy was riffing about his mom's foot veins. 132 00:05:29,138 --> 00:05:30,470 It was hilarious. 133 00:05:32,275 --> 00:05:33,753 You guys had ribs? 134 00:05:33,778 --> 00:05:35,338 Yeah, our book had a Southern theme, 135 00:05:35,363 --> 00:05:36,731 so everyone brought something. 136 00:05:36,756 --> 00:05:39,787 Gina brought Kentucky bourbon, and Danielle brought biscuits, 137 00:05:39,812 --> 00:05:42,645 and Laura... Some pretty racy stories from... 138 00:05:42,670 --> 00:05:43,935 the Bahamas! 139 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,031 Was there any book reading or...? 140 00:05:46,056 --> 00:05:47,486 Well, yeah, we start with the book, 141 00:05:47,511 --> 00:05:49,926 but, you know, the drinks flow, and then before you know it, 142 00:05:49,951 --> 00:05:51,905 we're trying to sign Gina up for whipped cream wrestling 143 00:05:51,930 --> 00:05:53,450 at a bar in Ronkonkoma. 144 00:05:53,475 --> 00:05:54,514 [Laughs] 145 00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:56,442 Which we all agreed would be very irresponsible. 146 00:05:56,713 --> 00:05:59,057 So, this... This happens every week? 147 00:05:59,082 --> 00:06:00,708 Well... yeah. 148 00:06:00,733 --> 00:06:02,737 Ever since we got rid of this one girl, Tammi, 149 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:03,744 this deadweight. 150 00:06:03,769 --> 00:06:05,852 All she would ever do is talk about her cat. 151 00:06:05,877 --> 00:06:07,009 It's like "We get it," you know? 152 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,368 "You didn't rescue her. She rescued you." 153 00:06:09,393 --> 00:06:10,642 Total downer. 154 00:06:11,576 --> 00:06:14,441 Anyway... Pbht! Cut her loose. 155 00:06:14,682 --> 00:06:16,633 You just kicked her out of the group? 156 00:06:16,658 --> 00:06:18,810 Yeah. Well, I mean, I didn't, but Danielle did. 157 00:06:18,835 --> 00:06:21,004 But yeah, they're not bringin' it, 158 00:06:21,029 --> 00:06:22,576 then they gots to go. 159 00:06:22,986 --> 00:06:24,107 Out! 160 00:06:24,132 --> 00:06:27,184 ♪ 161 00:06:28,666 --> 00:06:31,015 [Rattling] Waitress. 162 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:34,537 How about a couple more slices, huh? 163 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:35,965 Does Mom know you're eating this? 164 00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:37,540 Okay, you know what? Do me a favor. 165 00:06:37,566 --> 00:06:39,316 Listen up, all right? 166 00:06:39,545 --> 00:06:42,807 This is where I hang out... My safe place, all right? 167 00:06:42,847 --> 00:06:44,494 Now, when I got you the job here, 168 00:06:44,519 --> 00:06:46,190 I laid down a few rules and regs. 169 00:06:46,215 --> 00:06:47,792 - You remember? - I do. 170 00:06:47,817 --> 00:06:49,531 - Always top off your drink. - Uh-huh. 171 00:06:49,556 --> 00:06:51,534 If you ask for regular cheese, that means double cheese. 172 00:06:51,559 --> 00:06:52,209 Right. 173 00:06:52,234 --> 00:06:54,397 "Double cheese" means triple. 174 00:06:54,641 --> 00:06:57,801 And if Mom asks, you ate something with carrots. 175 00:06:57,826 --> 00:06:58,817 There you go. 176 00:06:58,842 --> 00:06:59,875 And most important? 177 00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:01,561 If there's a pizza made by mistake, 178 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,283 you guys get first crack at it. 179 00:07:04,979 --> 00:07:06,930 All right, boys, you're probably wondering 180 00:07:06,955 --> 00:07:08,786 why I summonsed you here today. 181 00:07:08,811 --> 00:07:11,346 Uh, not really. We're here every day. 182 00:07:12,514 --> 00:07:15,620 True, but today's different because I summonsed you. 183 00:07:15,645 --> 00:07:16,990 You texted us. 184 00:07:17,365 --> 00:07:19,099 It's a summons, guy. It's a summons. 185 00:07:19,124 --> 00:07:20,319 Look, it doesn't matter. 186 00:07:20,344 --> 00:07:23,805 Anyway, last night was a real eye-opener to me, all right? 187 00:07:23,830 --> 00:07:26,284 It really brings up the question, 188 00:07:26,309 --> 00:07:28,526 is this as good as it gets? 189 00:07:28,769 --> 00:07:30,332 I guess if it had mushrooms 190 00:07:30,357 --> 00:07:32,396 and they burnt the crust a little... 191 00:07:32,980 --> 00:07:35,572 Not the pizza. I mean this... life. 192 00:07:35,597 --> 00:07:36,782 I mean, come on. 193 00:07:36,807 --> 00:07:38,635 When we were on the force and we'd talk 194 00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:41,243 about our dream retirement, is this what we pictured? 195 00:07:41,268 --> 00:07:42,324 Kinda. 196 00:07:42,349 --> 00:07:44,492 I mean, every day can't be the 4th of July. 197 00:07:44,591 --> 00:07:46,437 This is like July 5th. 198 00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:49,245 Hey, my aunt's birthday. 199 00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:50,567 Okay, hey, hey, hey. 200 00:07:50,592 --> 00:07:52,444 Big man, focus, okay? 201 00:07:52,469 --> 00:07:54,070 Look, last night, 202 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,439 six ladies in a book club completely lapped us. 203 00:07:57,464 --> 00:08:00,526 A book club... I'm gonna let that sink in for a second. 204 00:08:02,263 --> 00:08:03,844 You want us to start a book club? 205 00:08:04,381 --> 00:08:05,253 No. 206 00:08:05,278 --> 00:08:06,394 What I want you to do 207 00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:08,454 is I want you to ask yourself a question... 208 00:08:08,479 --> 00:08:10,813 "What do I bring to the table?" 209 00:08:10,883 --> 00:08:13,364 Seriously, Mott. Tell me why you're an asset. 210 00:08:13,389 --> 00:08:16,708 Why do I want to be in the Mott business? 211 00:08:17,629 --> 00:08:20,463 - Well, I'm honest. - Mm-hmm. 212 00:08:20,488 --> 00:08:22,238 - I live close by. - There you go. 213 00:08:22,263 --> 00:08:23,861 Oh, I think my minivan's a plus. 214 00:08:24,056 --> 00:08:26,958 Wait, hold up. You're evaluating us? 215 00:08:26,983 --> 00:08:28,741 Think about it. How do baseball teams get better? 216 00:08:28,766 --> 00:08:30,472 They evaluate performance. 217 00:08:30,497 --> 00:08:33,111 This is just an informal... Yet permanent... record 218 00:08:33,136 --> 00:08:35,000 of who's contributing what. 219 00:08:35,025 --> 00:08:37,421 - Why don't we evaluate you? - Evaluate me? 220 00:08:37,446 --> 00:08:39,167 - Yeah. - You know what? I already did. 221 00:08:39,313 --> 00:08:42,453 Insane leadership skills, laser-focused, 222 00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:43,565 but with a playful side. 223 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,301 The only negative... I care too much. 224 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,634 - I care too much. - You know what? 225 00:08:47,659 --> 00:08:49,807 You forgot something... bully. You're a bully. 226 00:08:49,832 --> 00:08:50,998 I'm out of here. Yeah, me too. 227 00:08:51,023 --> 00:08:52,327 Oh. Okay. 228 00:08:53,083 --> 00:08:55,863 Mott, let's go! You drove! 229 00:08:56,421 --> 00:08:59,559 ♪ 230 00:08:59,584 --> 00:09:02,183 [Laughter] 231 00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:05,111 [Door opens] 232 00:09:05,772 --> 00:09:07,799 I'm right behind you. Don't turn around. 233 00:09:07,824 --> 00:09:09,208 I'm just gonna use the microwave. 234 00:09:09,419 --> 00:09:10,322 Chale. 235 00:09:10,347 --> 00:09:12,512 I am still invisible. Still invisible. 236 00:09:12,537 --> 00:09:15,192 Okay, it's okay. You can use the microwave. 237 00:09:15,217 --> 00:09:18,198 And, by the way, you want to sit down and... watch the game? 238 00:09:18,223 --> 00:09:19,422 You know, there's no reason 239 00:09:19,447 --> 00:09:21,285 we shouldn't get to know each other, really. 240 00:09:21,593 --> 00:09:24,061 My heart wants to believe you, but... 241 00:09:25,893 --> 00:09:28,693 my brain screams that this is a trap. 242 00:09:29,513 --> 00:09:32,620 Chale, it's not a trap. Come on, bud. Here. 243 00:09:34,078 --> 00:09:36,748 Oh. [Laughs] 244 00:09:36,773 --> 00:09:39,276 You almost got me. But not today! 245 00:09:39,301 --> 00:09:41,524 [Chuckles] 246 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:44,382 [Laughter continues] 247 00:09:47,562 --> 00:09:49,562 See, that's where the book loses me, 248 00:09:49,587 --> 00:09:51,638 because why would a woman that educated 249 00:09:51,663 --> 00:09:54,223 stay with a guy that stupid and self-centered? 250 00:09:54,534 --> 00:09:56,855 Don't answer that. I'm in the room. 251 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,483 [Laughter] 252 00:09:58,508 --> 00:10:01,933 I, uh... I made too much of my special onion dip, 253 00:10:01,958 --> 00:10:04,245 so, uh, you ladies have at it. 254 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,897 I'm gonna head up, honey. Yeah. 255 00:10:05,922 --> 00:10:06,596 Thank you. 256 00:10:06,621 --> 00:10:08,595 Wow! This is insane! 257 00:10:08,620 --> 00:10:10,661 - What's in this? - Uh, it's just... you know, 258 00:10:10,868 --> 00:10:13,395 it's special herbs, uh, sour cream, 259 00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:14,475 and another secret ingredient 260 00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:15,682 I'm really not at liberty to tell you. 261 00:10:15,707 --> 00:10:17,038 But I'm gonna... It's Lipton onion soup. 262 00:10:17,063 --> 00:10:18,641 - That's all it is. - [Laughter] 263 00:10:18,666 --> 00:10:20,172 - It's the best. - [Chuckles] 264 00:10:20,197 --> 00:10:21,890 - [Chuckles] Okay, good night, honey. - Yeah, good night. Okay. 265 00:10:21,915 --> 00:10:24,282 Wait. Kevin, you're a guy. 266 00:10:24,307 --> 00:10:25,658 Well, thank you. 267 00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:30,133 If you had to pick between a slutty servant woman 268 00:10:30,158 --> 00:10:32,552 or an educated governess, 269 00:10:32,577 --> 00:10:35,290 who would you choose to help you on a cattle drive? 270 00:10:35,315 --> 00:10:37,891 Ah, that age-old question. 271 00:10:38,693 --> 00:10:41,851 Well, first, I would ask... How long is the cattle drive? 272 00:10:41,876 --> 00:10:43,930 And second, what's a guy got to do 273 00:10:43,955 --> 00:10:45,834 to get a glass of Merlot around here, huh? 274 00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:47,524 [Laughter] 275 00:10:47,549 --> 00:10:49,216 We'll get you some right now. 276 00:10:49,241 --> 00:10:51,526 [Laughs] A little bit more, a little bit more. 277 00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,389 Oh, okay. [Laughs] 278 00:10:53,414 --> 00:10:56,356 Ooh, pretty bouquet. I like it. 279 00:10:56,381 --> 00:10:57,358 ♪ 280 00:10:57,771 --> 00:10:59,804 [Laughs] 281 00:11:00,152 --> 00:11:02,061 What's so funny? 282 00:11:02,172 --> 00:11:04,238 I was just thinking about Steph. 283 00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:05,742 When she was ragging on her husband 284 00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:08,902 for wearing the skinny jeans, I... I was literally crying. 285 00:11:08,927 --> 00:11:09,829 I was crying. 286 00:11:09,853 --> 00:11:11,605 Well, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. 287 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,948 You know, we've never really had a husband join us 288 00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:16,700 and then stay until the very, very end. 289 00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:19,789 Anyway, thanks for letting me hang out. 290 00:11:19,814 --> 00:11:20,708 No problem. 291 00:11:20,733 --> 00:11:22,898 Next week, I promise... I'm gonna blend in. 292 00:11:23,777 --> 00:11:25,443 Next week? 293 00:11:26,973 --> 00:11:29,865 Uh, honey, is there something going on with the guys 294 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,400 that I don't know about? 295 00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:32,791 - The guys? - Yeah. 296 00:11:32,816 --> 00:11:35,466 You mean the weak links weighing me down? 297 00:11:35,491 --> 00:11:37,572 Hm, they hads to go. 298 00:11:37,994 --> 00:11:39,906 - [Cellphone chimes] - Ooh. 299 00:11:39,939 --> 00:11:43,163 "No, Nancy, you're the best." 300 00:11:43,552 --> 00:11:46,588 Smiley face, smiley face with glasses, dynamite. 301 00:11:47,346 --> 00:11:49,730 ♪ 302 00:11:50,821 --> 00:11:52,771 [Laughter] 303 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,938 Hey. Where's the food, man? 304 00:11:54,963 --> 00:11:56,470 I got a bunch of hungry ladies out there. 305 00:11:56,495 --> 00:11:58,693 Whoa, whoa, whoa! It's got to sit for a minute. 306 00:11:58,809 --> 00:12:01,142 Nothing worse than runny lasagna. 307 00:12:11,071 --> 00:12:14,250 So, uh, there any, uh, single ladies in this club? 308 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:17,247 Hey, this is about literature, okay? 309 00:12:17,272 --> 00:12:19,094 Can't hook up your own brother? 310 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,424 Do you know that I'm on call at the firehouse right now? 311 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,608 I'm doing this as a favor. 312 00:12:22,633 --> 00:12:25,325 I can't. I'm... I'm... I'm a newbie myself. 313 00:12:25,350 --> 00:12:27,126 I've only been there a few weeks. 314 00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:28,900 I'll tell you what. 315 00:12:29,094 --> 00:12:31,572 I'll float your name out there and see how it washes out. 316 00:12:31,597 --> 00:12:32,952 All right? 317 00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,220 - I'm gonna start them with this. - Okay. 318 00:12:35,245 --> 00:12:37,001 Here you go, ladies. 319 00:12:37,026 --> 00:12:40,112 I thought everybody would enjoy a little cru-dite. 320 00:12:40,687 --> 00:12:43,336 That's just a fancy way of saying "raw vegetables." 321 00:12:43,361 --> 00:12:44,768 It's "crudité." 322 00:12:44,793 --> 00:12:46,176 Ohh! 323 00:12:46,201 --> 00:12:50,043 French language police are here. Take me away. 324 00:12:51,567 --> 00:12:53,731 I'm kidding. You're my Yoda, Gina. 325 00:12:53,756 --> 00:12:54,883 You know you are. 326 00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:57,969 I think someone's looking for you. 327 00:13:02,842 --> 00:13:04,756 What are you doing, man? What do you want? 328 00:13:04,781 --> 00:13:06,462 Nothing. Just, uh, you know... 329 00:13:06,487 --> 00:13:08,095 the one in the chair over there is kind of cute. 330 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:08,984 She just gave me the eye. 331 00:13:09,009 --> 00:13:12,418 That's 'cause she hasn't seen a handlebar mustache since 1974. 332 00:13:15,408 --> 00:13:16,874 Sorry about that. 333 00:13:16,899 --> 00:13:18,800 No, it's okay, but we should probably 334 00:13:18,825 --> 00:13:20,113 start talking about the book now. 335 00:13:20,138 --> 00:13:21,069 Oh, before we do, 336 00:13:21,094 --> 00:13:23,666 I just want to thank you ladies for embracing me. 337 00:13:23,691 --> 00:13:26,775 I know being here is not a right. It's a privilege. 338 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,511 And I know that everybody's got to step up their... 339 00:13:28,536 --> 00:13:30,203 No, you don't have to step up, honey. 340 00:13:30,228 --> 00:13:31,643 You just sit there and, um... 341 00:13:31,668 --> 00:13:33,123 Just sit there. 342 00:13:34,026 --> 00:13:35,558 No, I think what I bring... 343 00:13:35,583 --> 00:13:37,723 And I think what you ladies have latched onto... 344 00:13:37,748 --> 00:13:40,165 Is a male perspective, right? 345 00:13:40,217 --> 00:13:42,084 And I'm not saying "The Honeybee and the Looking Glass" 346 00:13:42,109 --> 00:13:43,158 isn't a great book. 347 00:13:43,183 --> 00:13:46,234 But what do you say we throw a "curveball" 348 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,114 and ignite this party... 349 00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:50,577 with "The Drew Ott Story"? 350 00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:54,098 "This shortstop played more minor league baseball games" 351 00:13:54,123 --> 00:13:55,505 than anyone in history, 352 00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:58,638 but on the day he finally gets called up to the big leagues, 353 00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:01,378 "tragedy strikes... him out." 354 00:14:02,527 --> 00:14:07,503 I'm not sure that's something we'd... want to read. 355 00:14:07,528 --> 00:14:10,295 Danielle, we all know you have a problem with commitment. 356 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,502 Don't miss the boat on this one, like you did with Tyler. 357 00:14:14,786 --> 00:14:16,834 Somebody had to say it. 358 00:14:16,859 --> 00:14:19,514 Y'all we're thinking it. Y'all we're thinking it. 359 00:14:20,035 --> 00:14:22,361 Honey, I feel like now would be a great time 360 00:14:22,386 --> 00:14:24,634 to get those broccoli pinwheels started. 361 00:14:24,659 --> 00:14:26,410 - Honey, I'm in the middle... - No, that's okay. I'll help you. 362 00:14:26,435 --> 00:14:28,068 Okay, fine. 363 00:14:29,878 --> 00:14:32,285 Look, I know you think it's a book about baseball, 364 00:14:32,310 --> 00:14:33,475 but it's not. 365 00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,173 It's about life. 366 00:14:36,628 --> 00:14:38,413 Honey, you're out of the club. 367 00:14:38,438 --> 00:14:39,365 What? 368 00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:40,589 I'm sorry. 369 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,965 You gots to go. 370 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,634 But everybody loves me. 371 00:14:47,659 --> 00:14:50,610 Well, everybody loved it when you came the first night, 372 00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:51,408 but... 373 00:14:51,592 --> 00:14:54,011 See, babe, you're like triple-chocolate cake. 374 00:14:54,036 --> 00:14:55,601 You know, it's great the first time, 375 00:14:55,626 --> 00:14:57,259 but you can't eat it every night. 376 00:14:58,006 --> 00:14:59,673 That's not a good analogy for me. 377 00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:00,818 Right. 378 00:15:00,979 --> 00:15:02,319 Okay. 379 00:15:02,682 --> 00:15:05,785 Sweetheart... it's a girls club, you know? 380 00:15:05,810 --> 00:15:07,760 And I know that something happened with your friends, 381 00:15:07,785 --> 00:15:12,037 but you got work that out, because book club is my time. 382 00:15:12,201 --> 00:15:13,425 Ohhhh. 383 00:15:13,450 --> 00:15:15,434 I see it. Okay. 384 00:15:15,459 --> 00:15:17,561 You're jealous 'cause I'm fitting in too well. 385 00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:19,657 I'm... I'm stealing your thunder. 386 00:15:19,682 --> 00:15:22,331 - All right, I got it. - No, I... 387 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:24,689 I'm not the only one that feels this way. 388 00:15:24,954 --> 00:15:27,702 So, you're saying your friends want me out of the group? 389 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:28,703 Yeah. 390 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:29,927 Wow. 391 00:15:30,115 --> 00:15:34,066 Wow, this is sad. This is so, so sad. 392 00:15:34,091 --> 00:15:35,595 Sad? 393 00:15:35,799 --> 00:15:37,535 Allow me to show you a text, would you? 394 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:37,994 Okay. 395 00:15:38,019 --> 00:15:38,850 - Okay? - Yeah. 396 00:15:38,875 --> 00:15:40,418 - Here we go. Ready? - Okay. 397 00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:42,792 Me... "See you Tuesday night, Lisa." 398 00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,010 Her response... "Sounds good, Kev." 399 00:15:45,035 --> 00:15:47,968 - "Sounds good, Kev." - Mm-hmm. Okay. 400 00:15:47,993 --> 00:15:50,180 Well, this is from Nancy. 401 00:15:50,995 --> 00:15:53,381 "If we have book club at my house, 402 00:15:53,406 --> 00:15:55,624 do you think Kevin will show up?" 403 00:15:55,786 --> 00:15:58,248 Okay, see, it's all how you're reading it, 'cause I see it as, 404 00:15:58,273 --> 00:16:00,247 [Excitedly] "Do you think Kevin will show up?" 405 00:16:00,579 --> 00:16:02,016 Uh-huh. All right. 406 00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:04,582 Well, this one... It's not even a text. 407 00:16:04,606 --> 00:16:07,609 It's just a picture of you with the word "out" underneath. 408 00:16:09,188 --> 00:16:11,875 She took my head and put it on the body of a manatee. 409 00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:16,722 I'm sorry, honey. 410 00:16:16,747 --> 00:16:18,580 Wow. I guess that's it. 411 00:16:18,605 --> 00:16:19,781 [Sighing] Yeah. 412 00:16:19,806 --> 00:16:21,974 So, you think I should finish out the night or...? 413 00:16:21,999 --> 00:16:23,111 Uh... 414 00:16:23,136 --> 00:16:24,293 no. 415 00:16:32,244 --> 00:16:34,609 Ladies, it's been brought to my attention 416 00:16:34,634 --> 00:16:36,646 that I may not be your cup of tea. 417 00:16:38,753 --> 00:16:42,269 Some of you consider me even a little pushy, 418 00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:44,149 with the body of a manatee. 419 00:16:46,481 --> 00:16:48,647 So, I guess this is goodbye. 420 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,421 Annie, I told you things I've never told another human being. 421 00:16:53,990 --> 00:16:55,575 Cake balls are in the freezer, 422 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,414 and the Merlot should probably breathe for a few minutes 423 00:16:58,439 --> 00:16:59,459 before serving. 424 00:16:59,484 --> 00:17:00,959 But... what do I know? 425 00:17:00,984 --> 00:17:04,089 [Chuckles] 426 00:17:09,121 --> 00:17:11,757 No one's gonna stop you, hon. 427 00:17:12,126 --> 00:17:14,831 ♪ 428 00:17:15,732 --> 00:17:16,951 Yes! 429 00:17:16,976 --> 00:17:18,758 All we do is play Cornhole. 430 00:17:18,783 --> 00:17:20,606 Aren't you guys about Cornholed out? 431 00:17:20,745 --> 00:17:22,901 - What about stickball? - Stickball? 432 00:17:22,926 --> 00:17:25,214 What are we... 12-year-olds in the Great Depression? 433 00:17:26,397 --> 00:17:28,522 Stop looking at him. 434 00:17:28,956 --> 00:17:31,897 Dad, just go talk to them. 435 00:17:31,922 --> 00:17:32,961 Talk to who? 436 00:17:32,987 --> 00:17:34,643 The three old dudes playing with beanbags 437 00:17:34,667 --> 00:17:36,898 pretending not to notice you for the last two hours. 438 00:17:36,924 --> 00:17:39,186 They need to apologize to me, all right? 439 00:17:39,211 --> 00:17:41,144 All I was doing was trying to make our lives better. 440 00:17:41,169 --> 00:17:42,650 Yeah, that worked. 441 00:17:45,671 --> 00:17:47,165 He just looked at us. 442 00:17:47,190 --> 00:17:48,326 Well, let's just talk to him. 443 00:17:48,351 --> 00:17:50,635 No, no, no. If we blink first, he wins. 444 00:17:50,660 --> 00:17:52,608 All right, somebody ordered a large pepperoni 445 00:17:52,633 --> 00:17:53,721 and never picked it up, 446 00:17:53,753 --> 00:17:57,793 and according to your rule, you guys get first crack at it. 447 00:18:13,674 --> 00:18:15,123 I'm grabbing a slice. 448 00:18:15,148 --> 00:18:16,219 Stay strong. 449 00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,354 This is stupid, all right? 450 00:18:19,379 --> 00:18:22,624 We can call a truce... at least until we finish the pizza. 451 00:18:28,161 --> 00:18:29,932 Go ahead. You can have that one. 452 00:18:29,957 --> 00:18:32,083 I know how much you like the burnt crust. 453 00:18:33,039 --> 00:18:36,508 Did you remember that about me, or was it in my file? 454 00:18:38,546 --> 00:18:40,582 It's in here... 455 00:18:40,873 --> 00:18:42,804 and it's in here. 456 00:19:03,558 --> 00:19:05,894 Classy move, kid. 457 00:19:05,919 --> 00:19:07,590 Thanks, Enzo. 458 00:19:07,653 --> 00:19:10,694 You know I got to make you pay for that large pepperoni, right? 459 00:19:10,719 --> 00:19:11,982 Yeah, I know. 460 00:19:12,196 --> 00:19:14,390 [Clears throat] I mean now. I'm counting out the drawer. 461 00:19:15,418 --> 00:19:17,366 ♪ 462 00:19:18,478 --> 00:19:19,510 ♪ 463 00:19:20,008 --> 00:19:21,891 Hey, Dad. Whatcha doing? 464 00:19:21,916 --> 00:19:23,533 Watching a movie. 465 00:19:23,558 --> 00:19:24,920 You want to watch? 466 00:19:24,945 --> 00:19:25,840 Yeah. 467 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,114 [Chuckles] 468 00:19:27,473 --> 00:19:29,120 How are you, kiddo? 469 00:19:29,145 --> 00:19:30,440 I'm okay. 470 00:19:30,635 --> 00:19:32,257 But I missed you, you know? 471 00:19:32,282 --> 00:19:33,705 Sometimes I miss Mom. 472 00:19:33,730 --> 00:19:36,240 But today... Today's a Dad day. 473 00:19:36,265 --> 00:19:37,665 [Chuckles] 474 00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:38,972 So sweet. 475 00:19:39,113 --> 00:19:40,315 How was school? 476 00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:41,625 It was good. 477 00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:44,399 Actually, might get a call from the vice principal 478 00:19:44,424 --> 00:19:46,977 with a very one-sided story about a small food fight 479 00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:48,996 that I was accused of starting. 480 00:19:49,463 --> 00:19:52,493 He already called. You're grounded for a week. 481 00:19:53,581 --> 00:19:55,957 Well, I guess there's no reason to do this anymore. 482 00:19:55,982 --> 00:19:58,020 No, probably not. 483 00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:02,373 [Inhales sharply] You know, uh, Mr. Gable, 484 00:20:02,398 --> 00:20:05,340 I was thinking about your offer to watch TV with you 485 00:20:05,365 --> 00:20:06,557 the other day. 486 00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:08,300 And, uh, you're right. 487 00:20:08,326 --> 00:20:11,833 There's really no reason that we can't get to know each other. 488 00:20:11,857 --> 00:20:14,770 Yeah, I worked things out with my buddies. You're out. 489 00:20:14,795 --> 00:20:15,912 Oh. Fair enough. 34721

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