Original subtitles

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. WANTED FOR EVERYTHING

This is one instance when two heads are not better than one.

However I don't believe people realize,

what a happy lot we criminals have.

What could be better than to be wanted.

It gives one the inner security of knowing he has a place in society.

That he is popular and sought after.

No wonder criminals buy with each other,

to be among the top ten. Tonight's story is called,

"Outlaw in town" and most of it takes place,

in the last chance saloon. It should follow immediately.

But I have promised my sponsor first chance.

OUTLAW IN TOWN

Well boys how you like the weather?

Outside it's snowing and blowing.

Thousands of our cattle are freezing stone cold dead.

And in the face of that this red crested bobbling has the gall to,

walk in there and ask us how we like the weather.

How would you like a good solid smack on the bugle?

I don't think I care for it thank you.

Shout out 40 rod if you please bartender.

Out here we call our poison red eye.

The only ones which call it 40 rod are texans and other foreigners of that.

Wwhere you from mister?

Oh I just wrote in over the north trail.

Which if you did you just performed a feat unparalleled in the history of buffalo bend.

-How so? -To the north to here lies buffalo mountain.

Not even a big horn sheep could come,

down the sheer face of that cliff especially in a blizzard.

Does it make any special difference just how I got to your miserable little metropolis?

No, it don't. But I found out that when a

man lies about where he come from.

He usually had to leave there in a hurry.

I don't care where you're from or what you've done I just don't like liars.

I see.

Well now this calls for some sort of physical action.

Oh don't fight boys. You ever hear of an old engine proverb?

-Yeah. -Well you're gonna hear it again doc,

from an authentic old engine. Never fight over anything,

that you can eat make love to or put in your pocket.

Now you stay out of this mini red wing.

This year jasper has just insulted my civic pride.

And I want to kill him just a little bit.

Was this what you were fumbling for mister?

Which the son of a gun steals my sixth gun before I can bat an eye?

That's a trick and gun fight I never encountered before mister.

What'd you pick up the knack I handled other people's personal firearms upset?

No it's nothing really.

I hereby proclaim that this here stranger just performed a feat,

unparalleled in the history of Buffalo Bend.

He came down a face of buffalo mountain in a blizzard.

My name is Bart Mccormick so, what do they call you?

-Some people call me Tony. -Tony waht?

Where I come from little man it's,

considered bad manners to ask a stranger his last name.

Unless he volunteers the information.

Do you really want to know little man?

Not specially.

But I uh I've seen your mug somewheres mister.

That's Shasta Cooney, but don't waste your time on her dunk.

She may be prettier than me but, I have a warm generous heart.

Name's tony. Can i do something for you?

-I was wondering if you'd care to buy a lady a drink? -Oh I sure know would.

-What is she? -I was referring to myself.

Are you really a sure enough lady?

How would you know? You never even met one before in your whole life.

-Not even at home. -If you're one oh I should not have.

I've been bumping into ladies in bars and such all over the west.

But in my simple ignorance I didn't recognize them.

I always thought a lady was somebody who,

wouldn't be caught dead badging drinks in a place like this.

I'll have you know that I do not deal in,

sell trade or give away anything that cannot be pulled out of a bottle

Anyway, out here ladies gotta earn a living somehow.

Especially a widow lady.

My husband was killed in Texas by a bandit more than a year ago.

I was dealt that hand before.

Only this girl said her husband had been killed by a sheriff.

She had eyes like you and hair like you and she talked like you,

and being young and unsophisticated, and I believed her.

-So? -So one day i found myself minus my money my silver spurs,

and my belt buckle. I had to walk out of town.

She also stole my horse.

Seeing as how I never accept anything,

from a gentleman i cannot fit in my suitcase. I am not interested in your horse mister.

Just your silver spurs and your belt buckle and whatever else you got in your poke.

Now that the card's on the table, would you care to try your luck?

Well I like to buy you a drink at that chester,

unfortunately I just spent my last dollar at the bar. I'm broke.

Well there's still room in my suitcase for your silver spurs and your belt buckle.

I happen to value my silver spares and belt buckle even more than I do the,

pleasure of your continued company shinsta.

How would you like to play out that hand?

Minie red wing this poor man's broke and he's thirsty.

Give him a small beer and put it on my tab.

Oh and Minie, he's probably hungry too. Throw in one pretzel.

Tae quad.

In his case beggars can't be choosers.

Drink up mister.

Sirs are right for being so tight, but your credit's good with me duck.

You can have anything you asked for.

You name it and if i haven't got it I'll go out and get it.

-No thanks Minnie I'm not thirsty. -You're a man after my own heart tony.

If you should wish another drink even,

for the purpose of pouring it down shasta cooney's neck.

-It's on me. -No i don't accept drinks i can't pay back.

But uh, I would like to play some poker.

-Well what are you gonna use for money doc? This.

Oh if this is a stick up I won't resist.

You can have anything on the premises and that includes me.

-I'll go peaceful. -it isn't a stick-up Minnie.

I'm just going to put up my sixth gun for the stake in the game.

I'll call with my sixth gun and,

I raise my belt holster and cartridges.

That's all for me.

-What have you got? -Three aces.

Four trays.

But now that he ain't armed I'll explain to you why he's so,

bashful about telling where he come from.

He's from Texas, and his name's Tony Lorca

Alias the Whistling Kid.

And if you don't believe me take a look at this here poster that I found on the post office.

Boy that sure enough is a picture of you Tony.

That describes you too. Donny of spurs, a fancy buckle,

haven't you got a whistle when you're in the mood to kill.

I want a dead or alive from mail robbery

stagecoach holdups bank robbery murder,

desertion, treason.

Arson mayhem manslaughter and kidnapping.

Not to mention cattle rustling, horse stealing,

and a theft of 100 meals from the u.s cavalry.

Oh my goodness, seems to me the only, crime you ain't got around the commitment is hurting sheep.

-I deny everything. -What's he accused of?

Everything. This here is the Whistling Kid.

-Which is real monika's Tony Lorca. -Tony look,

you're the man the Texas sheriff wrote me about. You killed my husband.

If I did you have my commiserations but not my apologies.

The only man I've ever killed were those,

who were trying to turn me in for the reward money.

Don't look at me. Well...

I wouldn't I wouldn't think of taking you to the u.s marshall at center city.

Like it says to doing that their poster.

Even if the uh reward money is five thousand dollars.

Five thousand dollars? Well what are you waiting for?

He is no I'm somebody take him into custody.

Which if anybody tries it he's able to get his teeth shot out with his own gun.

-Besides I don't need five thousand dollars that much. -Well I do.

Anyway reward money is rightfully mine.

Now how do you figure that?

-I found that poster, didn't I? -It was my husband he killed, wasn't it?

The Whistling Kid ought to be community property for all of us to participate in.

-Share and share like. -Now that's socialism.

I say that the reward money should go to the man who earns it.

I don't want to butt in but would anyone be interested...

You stay out if this. Now somebody grab him before he tries to get away.

He won't get very far.

I just came in from the south and the only pass out of town is closed.

Hmm, well looks like you'll be with us for some time son.

Meanwhile I freely offer to finance your creature comforts and whatever luxuries the town affords.

I never accept money I don't earn.

Oor steal it.

I don't think you cost me much son.

One of these horned toads is a cinch to shoot you in the bag for the reward,

before you can run up much of a bill.

Now that's a consolation. Here I am worth five thousand dollars,

and I haven't got the price of a pint of beer or a plate of beans.

I am a certified check I can't cash.

I'll cash you.

-At a discount of course. -Why whatever do you mean Shasta?

If I advance you the money for grub and booze,

will you let me turn you into the marshall and center city, when the road's clear?

That's the most immoral proposition i ever heard of.

-You're asking me to sell my own life. -It's better than giving it away.

Like Bart says, somebody like to shoot you in the back.

This way you get to spend some of your own reward money on yourself.

Hmm...

What would be a joke on the government, wasn't it.

What's uh your offer shasta?

Well seeing as how you killed the only husband I ever had I'll be generous.

-Fifty dollars0 -I'd rather be shot in the back.

All right I hereby agree to Shasta Coon's deal but not her terms.

Now here I stand before you gentlemen look at me, worth five thousand dollars.

All I ask is a mere piece to see me from my last few days on earth.

Come on what am I doing. Huh?

-I'll make it sixty dollars. -I have sixty dollars away, here 70.

Personally I haven't got 60 cents in cash but I do own 600 merinos.

-I'll bid 65 sheep. -Now you say I killed, your husband Shasta.

Are you going to let someone else, have the honor of turning me over me over to the hangman?

Two hundred dollars.

Oh my bitch anytime i pay 600 sheep for

a man I want them alive awake and available.

All right the last bid was 500. Do I hear 600?

600.

700.

-800. -Oh the little lady really wants to see me hang.

-What's it worth to you Zack? -900 dollars.

Shasta?

800 dollars is all I have in cash.

-I refuse to dip into my suitcase. -Sold! For 900 dollars.

Ah I'm so sorry Shasta.

But I'll make it up to you. I'll see that you get an invitation to the hanging.

I wouldn't miss that for anything in the world.

Waste of it all. A horrible waste.

What's wasteful about? It business being,

what it is those girls haven't had a full meal in weeks.

-Spending money that's rightfully mine. -I don't know how you figure that.

And what do you expect him to do with the money, save it for his old age?

Don't forget there's a rope waiting for him Shasta.

-That's a consolation. -But don't console me none.

He's too pretty a pale face to die with his tongue sticking out.

-George I'd like to ask you about... -Zach you better ride hurt on him.

Government isn't going to pay you any,

reward money if he eats himself to death.

I rightfully don't care what happens tony now I sold him.

-You sold him? -Well, that is I sold my,

rights for the reward money to avoid for a thousand dollars worth of hay.

Anything illegal about that judge?

Well i being a mere justice of the peace I'm not sure but,

I am sure that I hope you haven't set a precedent.

Excuse me.

Don't think I'm neglecting you Shasta. Here.

Champagne. It's a genuine french article.

And don't you think that you can buy my, friendship with any just being trumped out of a grape.

Take your champagne.

Considering their enemies and he still kisses her like that.

I wonder what he'd do if they were friends?

It should happen to me.

Put that on my tab.

Hey...

Hey somebody bring a hooker a red eye Shasta's done faded.

Why that big brute crush the wind out,

over here this water ought to do it.

Keep it up maybe she'll drown.

-A new all-time high. -Hey Tony Lorca stock sure enough here.

Well who owns Tony Lorca now?

-Bill Younger. -Now that pass has been open for a whole day.

Why don't Bill just take him over to center city and cash him in.

Well that's a long trip besides bill is,

hoping to turn tony over for a quick profit.

Well now who'd be silly enough to pay more

in 37.50 for tony under the circumstance.

-What's silly about us? -Who are you?

I'm Trigg Owens. This is Pac Muntz. We represent,

a syndicate out of the town of O'leary's Laps.

We just paid 4500 for Tony Lorca.

In case anybody's interested the new price is 7000 dollars.

Well that's 2000 over. The government only offers 5000.

Well if the government wants any part of,

the whistling kid they'll have to pay our price.

After all we got a corner on the market anyway.

Yes, but can you deliver the goods.

How do you know that Tony hasn't arranged with a gang of his to hold you,

up and snatch him away from you on the way to center city?

I'll bet you anything that's just what Tony's got up his sleeve.

You don't think he's going to let himself get hung without putting up a fight, do you?

Well I'll be it looks like we've been horn-swaggled and hoodwinked.

Let's go gather up the boys and shoot up this mangy town, Craig.

This mangy town's full of suckers pack,

and they'll go for any deal they can get on cheap.

Come on we're going after the small investors.

Get in.

Is this kidnapping, you know that, don't you?

Shut up.

I just won you in a raffle.

Suppose you're taking me to the united states marshall at center city.

-Why should I? -Want to see me hang for killing your husband of course?

I forgot to tell you.

Before you killed him he deserted me and ran off with a,

female pharaoh dealer from Gila Ben.

I wouldn't want to see you hang just for killing him.

If you forget I'm worth 5000 dollars at the end of the road.

The border isn't far off.

The other day you kissed me.

I know you did it just for spike but,

It shook me to my very foundations.

I suddenly felt it crazy overwhelming,

impulse to give you the entire contents of my suitcase.

How'd it make you feel?

Come to think of it. There does seem to be some kind of,

haunting memory attached to the episode.

Maybe I better refresh my memory.

This here's Tony Lorca, marshall.

Now he was here until last night when he just disappeared.

That's Tony Lorca all right.

For wherever he is he must be in a remarkable state of decomposition.

Considering the fact he's been dead more than a year.

Dead?

-Then who...? -Oh, that other man.

That was Tony's brother, Pepe. He looks like Tony.

But pepe's not a man of crime of violence he's he's more of a con man.

I knew he was some kind of crook. You going to arrest him?

No. Pepe's been making his living going around,

hanging up his brother's wanted posters and post offices.

Then he waits for human greed to set in.

As far as I know there's nothing illegal about that.

He he wrote zach martin out of 900 dollars. Ain't that illegal?

Zach got his money back made a profit on the deal.

Yeah, so did all the others including that,

syndicate from o'leary's laps where they more than come out even on the raffle.

Well somebody must have lost.

Sure that's it. What did shasta cooney get for her money?

Shasta cooney only invested in the price of a lottery ticket.

And shasta got Peppy look.

This way.

I have your room all ready for you.

I see he's got her suitcase.

He sure enough has.

Now don't tell me that ain't illegal.

I married them last night.

Thus ends the saga of the whistling kid.

I'm afraid he no longer does much whistling,

but he's no kid anymore either. I shall return,

after we hear about a product which my sponsor feels is the most wanted.

I have just been reading some of the shocking things.

They have written about me.

Age, weight, I assure you I'm not guilty.

Why don't you tune in next week and see if I beat this rap.

Until then good night.