All language subtitles for Episode 05 - Guilty or Not Guilty

Enter.

I brought you some coffee, Miss
Courtney. I shall be wanting it this morning,

thank you, Gladys. I have to be
at the court in half an hour.

Jenny's court?

Magistrates.

Oh, my goodness, what have you done?

I haven't done anything.

I am on the bench.

I am a JP.

Oh, very nice. Any juicy bits? I
beg your pardon? Well, you know,

like you read in the Sunday papers,
husband finds wife in bed with lover.

No, Gladys.

Just the usual amount
of football hooligans

and drunken
disorderly, that sort of thing.

Enter. Thank you, Gladys.

I brought the stockroom keys back.

Well, you'd better hang on to them,
Sidney. I shan't want them today.

She's in court. Court what?

Court.

Magistrate's court.

Have you been nicked?

Go on.

Nicked? I've got a friend of mine to
defend you, and if he can't get you off,

he'll bang a few quid to the JP.

Most of them are bent.

I am a JP.

I was only joking.

I can barely hope you were.
I'll see you two tomorrow.

Yeah, well, don't be too
hard on anyone, will you?

Remember, a person is
innocent until he's proved guilty.

Yes, well, I have often thought
that should be the other way round.

Oh, you should know best.

Oh, I'd hate to come up before her. Me
neither. With people like her on the bench,

no wonder they demolished
the death sentence. Oh!

Case number one has been
put back until after lunch.

Very well.

Let's get on with it.

Call case number two.
Call case number two.

Good heavens.

Miss Courtney, what are you doing here?

I am the presiding magistrate.

Oh, blimey, we are being in luck. We are
bound to be getting off escorting free.

I am in court.

Do you know these people, Miss Courtney?

I most certainly do.

Are you sure you won't be
prejudiced in their favour?

If I am prejudiced, it
certainly won't be in their favour.

Inspector, isn't it a
little unusual for the police to

bring so many defendants
before the bench at one time?

The dock seems a little overloaded.

The case is rather unusual, madam. The
accused, though acting individually,

did in fact commit the
offences collectively.

I see.

What are the charges?

Miss Chung Soo Lee and Mr.
Taro Nagasubi inciting a riot.

I demand diplomatic immunity. Silence.

Mr. Giovanni Cupello and Miss
Daniel Favre disturbing the peace.

Mr. Ranjit Singh and Mrs. Jamila
Ranjha causing an affray. Please,

I'm not understanding what he's meaning.

And I am not understand also, Master Ji.

But he's reading out the charges. You
mean we are having to pay for being here?

More than likely.

Will you please be quiet?

Sorry.

Mr. Ali Nadeem and Miss Anna
Schmidt causing a public nuisance.

Mr. Juan Cervantes and Mr. Maximilian
Papandreos assaulting a police officer.

He assault us first.

Say, he hit my fist with his jaw.

Another remark like that, I
shall hold you in contempt.

What for?

Speak when you are spoken
to. Why? Sorry, wrong number.

Carry on with the charges.

That's all.

What about Mr Brown?

Oh, I'm not charged with anything.

What are you doing in the dock?

I've come here to speak on their behalf.

He's our mouthpiece.

He's going to spring us.

You see, Miss Courtney... Stop.

You must come down onto the floor of the
court if you wish to address the bench.

Oh, right.

You see, Miss Courtney, there are... Stop!

I am not Miss Courtney.

Funny. She look like Miss Courtney.

You will kindly address me as Your Honour.

Sorry, Miss Courtney. Er, Your Honour.
But there are mitigating circumstances,

and I'm sure that when you've
heard what the students have to say,

you will decide to act leniently.

We'll see about that after we
have heard the explanation.

Yes. Well, it all happened
last Friday evening after class.

As part of their homework, I decided to
give the students various tasks to perform,

things to do, places to visit.

Suli and Taro, would you tell the
court what happened in your case?

Take the stand, please.

Take the book in your right hand and
read what's on the cart. Yes, sir.

I swear by almighty God that the
evidence I shall give shall be the truth of it.

The whole truth,
nothing but the truth of it.

Take the book in your right hand.

Are you saying that you are
not going to tell the truth?

The Republic of China not
great in Christian religion.

What do you believe in?

Chairman Mao.

Very well.

Do you swear by Chairman Mao that the
evidence you give should be the truth,

the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth?

In democratic Republic
of China, there's no loom

for eyes. Truth is
absolute. So say Chairman Mao.

I think we can accept
that as an affirmation.

Proceed.

Task Mr. Blount, Eroquate, Tutalo,

and me is visit Speaker's Corner
in Hyde Park to observe Olytus.

I say to you again, ladies and gentlemen,

do not be deceived by assurances of a
so-called change of attitude in China.

They are still governed by dictators.
The people are still oppressed. Lavish!

It is not lavish!

China is still an aggressive nation. It
is Western imperialists who are aggressors.

China is still a free democracy.

Now who's talking rubbish?

You are.

If you don't like it over here,
get back to where you came from.

Don't speak like that
to my friend, though.

You are ignorant
capitalist ratty, you are. Now

calm down. If you
wasn't a lady, I'd jump you.

I have news for you. I am no rabid.

You see, it was a
political act of self-defense.

Not our fault.

You may stand down.

Who's next?

Mr. Giovanni Capello and Miss Favreau.

Take the book in your right
hand and read what's on the card.

Not the likely.

I'm not to swear on a Protestant Bible.

We are Catholics.

I swear by the Pope.
Give him a Catholic Bible.

Okey-dokey.

I promise I'm going to
tell all of the truth.

Me too.

Carry on.

Your Honor, it's like this.

Mr. Brown asked us to
visit television studios

to see how television programs are made.

Oi! Yes?

Where do you think you're going?

We're going to have a look around.
You're not allowed in here without a pass.

But I'm sure you can look the other
way. Rules are made to be broken, no?

Not by me, no.

But it's for our own work.

Sorry.

Hey!

What's that down there? Where?

What do we do now? We have to look around.

Don't worry, nobody's going to find
us here. Let's just wait! Santa Maria!

Good afternoon, and welcome to
another edition of World of Sport.

This afternoon on our search
for Sporting Nation... Excuse me.

But which way do we go? You mind, I'm on
air. Hey, I've seen you someplace before.

You don't often look like that David
Dickey. Dickey Davis is spaghetti. Ah,

that's right. But I am Dickey
Davis, and I'm trying to do a programme.

I'm very sorry about
that, but when the programme

is live, anything can happen, can't it?

As I was saying... David, can
I have your autograph, please?

Thank you very much. Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen, and welcome.

My first guest tonight has flown across
the Atlantic specially to be with us.

I think perhaps he's best...

Hey, I know you. It's a
Michael Parkington. It's

not a primal name, Bruce. Oh, my God.

Your Honour, I rest my bag.

No, no, don't you
bother. You rest your case.

Okie-dokie, I rest my bag and my case.

Silence. There is far too
much levity in this courtroom.

We will now take a short
break, and when we come back,

I shall hope for a little more respect.

Otherwise, the court will be clear.

Can we have the next defendants, please?

Mr. Singh and Mrs. Ranjha.

What do you swear on? I never swear.

It's against my religion.

He has been mean swear on holy book.

Thousand apologies. I'm
swearing by the Guru Granth Sahib.

May Guru Granth Sahib...

No, I am be swear by Almighty God.

I am be swear to tell the obsolete
truth, and nothing but the obsolete truth.

Carry on.

Master Ji is ask us for our homey
work to be take boat on River Themis.

And we comply.

Then you know it's a sign for
messing about on the river.

If you take my advice,
there's nothing to worry about.

Well, that's very simple. It's forward
to go forward and backwards to go back.

What about if you want to go sideways?

I think I am busy, sir.

Do you really want to
hire this boat? Of course,

definitely. All right,
switch on. I'll cast off.

Don't put it in gear.
Now, I'm telling you...

It's a wonder the boat
didn't sink. It did? Stand down.

Who's next?

Mr. Savanti, sir.

Take the book in your
right hand and read what's

on the card. Sure, we tell the truth.

I tell you what happened.

No, no, I tell you.

No, no, no, no, no. I
speak good, better English.

No, I speak better English
than you speak better English.

Tell the court what
happened, Mr. Cervantes.

Si, senora.

Mr. Brown, he tell us to
go and see the wax, wax.

Wax, wax.

He say, I tell, not you.

Okay.

So we go to Madame Tussauds.

I tell you what we do. You take the
photo of me with the British dress. Okay.

Which way we go?

We ask where we find the British dress.

I want the queen.

Hey, what's the matter? You there?

He's a wax man.

Looks like a real man.

Hey, look. Here's another.

He don't look very nice.

He looks like a dumb.

How they get this guy? I do it. Panayama.

You're a real man. Yes.

Including the moustache.

We are looking for the royal family.

I'm going to have the
picture taken with the queen.

Members of the public are not
allowed to touch the exhibits.

Thank you very much. Unfortunately,
you are too late. We are about to close.

You will find the exit that way.

We go that way.

Ah, there they are. I go front, you take
picture. Okay, but be quick. All right.

What's he doing?

Oh, just check in here.

That's all.

It's quite enough.

You may stand down.

Mr. Nadim and Miss Schmidt.

I swear by Almighty God that the
evidence I shall give shall be the truth,

the whole truth, and
nothing but the truth.

And what about you?

Oh, blimey.

I'm also swearing, but by the Holy Quran.

Oh yes. Proceed, please. Mr.
Brown told us to be visiting the zoo.

We saw all the
animals, and on the way out,

Ali decided he wanted
to ride on the elephant.

Excuse me, please.

We are wanting to have a
ride on elephant. Hard cheese.

Would you like a hearty dog?

What?

You are saying your cheese is hard,
so I'm offering you my hearty dog.

Why don't we start again? We
would like a ride on the elephant.

Well, you can't.

Why not?

You are not allowed on the
elephant without a keeper.

We are wanting to be riding
on elephant, not the keeper.

I have no idea.

You go for people.

No, I go for fun. You come to the zoo.

Hello, hello, hello.

Oh, it is an Indian
elephant. How do you know that?

It has a bigger head and longer nose.

Oh, blimey. It is pinching my heart.

What are you doing?

We are going to be riding on elephants.
No, we're going to keep her. Don't worry.

I know everything about elephants.

Please be getting up. It
may be dangerous. Oh, no.

Indian elephants are most peaceful people.

We are only going to be sitting.

Climb, please, climb.
Come on, Ali. Come on.

Oh, yes. When I was being a little boy in
Delhi, I used to ride a little. Oh, yes.

To be going on left side,
you're pulling left here.

To be going on the
rightwards, you're pulling right here.

And to be stopping,
you're pulling both here.

What about starting?

To be starting, you bang on head.

What happened to the elephant?
It went for a bath in the lake.

Unfortunately, we are still sitting on it.

You may stand down.

Mr. Brown, have you anything
to say before I give judgment?

Yes, Miss Corby.

Yes, Your Honour. I beg the court to
show clemency in this case. These poor,

unfortunate people are
guests in our country.

They have journeyed
from their native lands

to our shores to learn our mother tongue.

Why?

Because they admire
our English way of life,

with its long
tradition of hospitality, free

speech, justice, and above all, fair play.

They have committed no
offence in their eyes.

They were merely carrying out
their duties as they saw them.

One only has to look at them to
see that they are not criminals.

I'm sure the court will find them
innocent. If anyone is guilty, it is I. Bravo!

Thank you, Petrocelli.

Well, having regard to your
impassioned plea for mercy,

the court tends to
agree with your remarks.

The accused are more
misguided than mischievous.

Therefore, the court finds
the defendants not guilty.

The court agrees with Mr. Brown
that if anyone is guilty, he is.

To have sent out these poor,

unfortunate students on such
foolhardy errands is highly irresponsible.

It is a pity that the
court cannot punish you.

But be warned, Mr. Brown,

if you ever come before this
bench again for whatever reason,

you will be severely dealt with.

The court will adjourn.

Is this your car, sir?

Yes.

Having trouble with
your memory, are you, sir?

Pardon?

Your road tax disc has run out, sir.

Ah, well, I'm sure I've applied for
it. What's going on, Constable Jones?

Another tax dodger, madam.

Really?

Well, while you're at it, Constable, why
don't you check his lights and his tyres?

How about his insurance?

I shall be sitting again tomorrow.

That's all the classic
comedy for this morning,

but don't forget we start every
morning with a laugh here on Granada Plus.

And from this classroom,
we go to the street next.