Original subtitles

Hello, Gladys.

Tea, no sugar.

Tea, no milk.

Oh.

And how about you? Do you want your tea without milk or without sugar?

Without tea.

For me, coffee.

You're in early tonight.

Yeah, we come early to do the homework.

Every class time, we are getting it wrong,

so we make a plan to meet here and do it all together.

Ah.

Plenty smart, eh? Here we are.

I hope we are not being late. No, we just got here

ourselves. You want a tea? Oh, thank you very much.

Not so much. A thousand apologies.

Much better to do the homework first, before Mr. Brogno arrives.

That's a good idea.

Okay, first question.

Give a single noun to replace the following phrase.

A person who has reached the age of 100. Anybody have any ideas?

Sure. Very old man.

See, hombre, 100-year-old, very old man.

Now, we want the one word for someone who's at 100.

Oh, blimey, I'm knowing that.

Farouk.

What is Farouk?

My uncle. He's being 100 years old.

That is not being the answer you tend to retweet.

You tell us the answer.

Centurion.

That sounds okay to me.

Okay, okay. Everybody put down centurion.

Centurion.

Next question.

All right.

Give the past tense and the past participle of the following verbs.

Cling.

Clunk.

That's right. Clunk.

But that's the past tense. Now we want the past possible.

Oh blimey, Mr. Brown will be surprised when he find out how clever we are.

Next question.

Past tense and past participle of the word fly.

No, no, not the fluid.

That's better.

We want one more. We get fly, flied. Flied.

Okay. Hey, we must do the homework like this every time, huh? And the next question.

Give opposite in meaning to following nouns.

Disappointment.

That appointment.

With due respect, opposite of disappointment is joy. Ah.

Can I have some milk, please, Gladys? Hey, Danielle, what you got in the pram?

A bag of the potatoes.

Not potatoes. Bambino.

Hello, Bambino.

Hey, speak to me.

Nice little boy.

How I know he's a little boy?

Easy. He's got what every little boy has.

Blue clothes. Here, is it yours? No, it belongs to the family I work as au pair.

They had to go out tonight, so I thought I'd bring him here to the lessons.

Oh, you can't do that. Why not? Well, it's against regulations. Oh,

Miss Courtney would never allow it.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

But what am I going to do? I don't want to miss my classes.

Well, I'll tell you what I'll do.

You can leave him here behind my counter and collect him when you go home.

Thank you, Gladys. Oh, don't mention it.

See you later, boys.

Holy ravioli.

From what I'm thinking now, I could be excommunicated.

I was excommunicated five minutes ago.

Give a collective noun to describe a group of footballers.

Real Madrid.

That is no good answer. The correct answer is a team.

That's right, team.

Who said that?

I did.

Whoops-a-da-daisy.

Long enough. Look, homework means work you do at home, individually,

not here collectively. As you obviously cannot be trusted,

you'll all stay behind after class and do your homework then. Come along,

down to the classroom, will you?

Now then, what about a nice smile for your auntie, Glad? Oh, you know,

you're a lovely fella. I say, Gladness is going to tickle your tummy.

Here, give us a nice kiss.

Oh, hello, Sid.

Gladys, look, what you do is your own affair,

but I shouldn't let Miss Courtney catch you at it.

Now, what do you mean? I heard you.

Oh, I'm doing it as a favour. Here.

Want to tittle his tummy?

Tickle his tummy. He likes it. Look.

It's a saucepan lid. A little nipper.

It's Danielle's. I'm looking after it for her. Yeah? It's a lovely little fella.

How are you then?

Goody, goody, goody.

Good... He bit me!

Follow me, everybody.

Places, please. Click as possible.

Thank you, one.

Right, now that we've lost Zoltan and Ingrid,

I suggest we fill up these empty places. Jamila,

would you like to come back to the front?

No, Master-ji. I am very happy to be seated backside.

Taro?

Japanese philosopher say, a person who's in front, Lionel,

more likely to get all shot at.

Ah, so...

Pally and Sully, why don't you come out here, then, all right? Jelly good. Right,

now, tonight, by way of a change, we are going to do a crossword. Now,

do you all know what a crossword is?

Well, I shall ask you each a clue and hope that I get some correct answers.

We'll start with you. One.

One across the feminine of horse.

Eh, por favor.

The feminine of horse. You've heard of the word horse?

Ah, si, si.

So astropte.

Oh, that's horse. Ah, sorry. Come along, the feminine of horse. Uh, lady horse.

Uh, anybody know?

Yeah, feminine of horse, mare.

Well done.

Squeeze me, please. Here, Sally.

I am thinking, mare is not feminine. Yes, it is. Oh, no.

Mare of London is most definitely masculine.

That is a different sort of mare.

That's M-A-Y-O-R.

Jolly good.

Ranjit, three across, not down.

I am knowing it is not down because you are saying it's across.

Not down is the clue.

Thousand apologies.

Well, what is the answer?

No, what is not the answer? The answer is up.

Thank you.

Right, Giovanni, six across,

a punctuation mark used to indicate antithesis or quotation.

Ask me another.

Come along, think. I'll give you another clue. It's not a comma,

but it begins with a C. Question mark.

Don't be ridiculous.

Anybody know?

Right.

Ali, seven across.

A word used to describe a set of four musicians.

Beatles.

No, not a group, although the Beatles were one of these.

Oh, blimey.

I think if you have a cake and you cut it into four, you then have four... Pieces.

Yeah, but what is each piece called?

A slice?

Jolly good. Now, what do we call four musicians?

Anybody?

Quartet? Good, quartet. Well done.

R-T-E-T.

Right.

Sully ate a cross to tell an untruth.

To spread decadent Western propaganda about Paul is the perfect child.

Correct answer is large.

Same thing. So that's a matter of opinion. L-I-E.

Right.

Um, Jamila, one down, the plural of mouse.

Um, mouses.

Oh, no, Jamila, think. Look, look at the board. It's M blank, C blank. Any idea?

No, Master G, I am also B blank.

Mice.

Ah, Mickey.

Mickey?

Ah, Mickey Mouse's.

Mice.

Sorry, Master.

Right, uh, Taro. Ah, sir.

Two down to consign or dismiss to an inferior position. Do you know the answer?

Not knowing. Questioner.

You know, if a football team finish at the bottom of the league,

then it means that they are very bad-o-tive.

They get relegated. So the answer to two down is relegate.

Right.

Um, Max.

Yes, Bush.

Four down, the opposite of wealth. Schkind.

No.

Broke.

So, if you are very poor, what state are you in?

Desperate.

Mr Brown, can I speak to Danielle outside?

Yes, if you must.

It's very personal.

What's the matter?

The baby's done a bunk.

Is that the same as doing a pooey?

No, he's gone. Gone?

Yes.

Gladys went into the ladies. When she come out, there he was, gone.

That is impossible. Well, if you don't believe it,

come and have a look for yourself.

But if he's not there, where can he be? I haven't got the faintest idea.

Right, Snow, can anybody tell me the rule about I and E?

Jamila?

I before E, excepting after C. Very good.

Juan.

Juan! Si, senor.

You are not paying attention.

Si, plenty attention.

All right, what did I just say?

You say, Juan, you're not paying attention.

I, uh... Yes, but before that, Juan.

Eh, before that, uh...

You're right. I know. Pay attention.

We were discussing I before E except after C. Ah, sorry.

Spell receipt.

Por favor. You heard spell receipt.

R, E, C, I before E except C. E. I, T.

Come on, think. You've missed something out. What comes before tea? Breakfast.

I am not amused. You're not here to make jokes.

Ah, sorry, amigo.

Pee, tea. So nice.

Max, what always follows a cue?

People who are cueing.

Sure.

L-M-N-O-P-Q-R.

We're discussing spelling, not the alphabet.

If a word begins with Q, what is the next letter?

I don't know, Bosch.

U!

Me what?

Only U can follow a Q.

Mr Brown, would you come to my office for a moment?

What, now? Yes, it is most important.

Ah, well, carry on studying chapter 10 on spelling. I shan't be long.

Is it, um, is it something I've done?

I sincerely hope not.

Take a look at that.

It's a pram.

Oh, well done, Mr Brown.

What do you normally associate with prams?

Babies?

Exactly.

Good Lord, you're not, are you?

Not what? Expecting.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

What was that? A look in the pram.

It's a baby.

Well, it's certainly not a cocker spaniel.

Now, you mustn't worry, Miss Courtney. I beg your pardon?

These things happen even in the best families.

There is no shame these days in being an unmarried mother.

Oh, you silly little man, it's not mine.

I found it in the canteen.

I have spoken to Gladys, but she denies all knowledge of it.

The poor little mite has obviously been abandoned.

Oh, how Dickensian.

I can only assume that one of the students from this school

has deliberately abandoned that baby on our doorstep.

I thought you said it was in the canteen. Oh,

that's just a figure of speech, Mr. Brown.

Now, I shall ask all the teachers to question their respective

classes in an effort to discover the guilty party.

Okay, I'll go and question my... Oh, no, you won't.

You will stay here and look after the baby while I inform the rest of the staff.

Hello.

Don't cry, don't cry. Come on, come over here and look at all the trees.

See all the birdies chirping?

There, isn't that nice?

There we are. Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop.

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby cradle.

What did you think of that, baby?

Stay there, and I'll go and get you a choppy biscuit.

What am I going to do?

Not to worry. We find him for you. We search at the school.

Sid and Gladys, they have looked everywhere.

Maybe he's been baby-napped.

He must be mean kidnapped. Yes, please.

Mr. and Mrs. Barclay, they are going to kill me.

How am I going to tell them I've lost their baby?

Why not write them a letter?

I've got a good idea.

If somebody stole Danielle's baby,

why not we go outside and steal someone else's baby?

Don't be so stupid, Max.

I'll settle down and study your books.

And why are you crying? Oh, Miss Courtney, I've done something very bad. Oh,

what you do outside is no concern of mine.

That is something in the school.

Where is my baby?

Baby?

Oh, so it's yours, is it? You know about it?

I found it. Thank heavens, I must go to him.

Now, just a moment. Come here, I want a word with you.

Now, I know that we live in a permissive society, and these things are not uncommon.

But you must think of the baby.

Don't you love him a little?

I love him very much. Good.

Do you know who the father is? Yes.

Well, then, have you never considered marrying him? How can I?

He's only nine months old.

Not the baby, the father. I don't think his wife will be very happy.

He's a married man. Yes.

Well, that's typical. They don't care who they get into trouble.

It wasn't his fault. It was his wife's idea. Heavens, how awful.

Do your parents know the situation you're in? Yes. Well,

surely they don't approve. Certainly.

Next year, my sister is coming to England to do the same.

Extraordinary. Oh, no.

Many French girls want to be au pairs.

Au pair? Yes.

This baby, it belongs to the family you work for. That's right.

Thank heaven for that. Pardon?

It doesn't matter.

I promise I won't bring him in the school again. Well, see that you don't.

Can I bring him in this class? No, he can stay where he is.

He's in very good hands.

Oh, oh, thank goodness.

Well, what to say? Come on, dear, aren't you glad?

Yes, come on, then. Oh, we're going to aren't you glad? Yes, my darling.

We're going to get a little drink of milk, please.

Come on.

Oh, at least he's stopped crying. Perhaps he's dozed off.

Here we are then. Here's a chalky bicky for you.

He's gone. Perhaps he's nipped out for a walk.

He's too young to walk. He can just about crawl.

Well, he's got to be here somewhere.

Where? I don't know.

The window is open. Well, what about it? It could have crawled out. Could it?

Oh, of course it couldn't.

Could it?

They crawled anywhere. I was the biggest crawler

in our street. Yeah, I can believe that.

Oh, I'm too frightened to look.

It's not there.

Perhaps he's crawled along the edge and gone right the way round. Well,

you'd better crawl round and have a look. No, not me. I can't stand heights.

I've got claustrophobia. Vertigo. Yeah, I've got that

in my shoulder as well. I'll give you a bunker.

I've got the seed to my boiler. Aren't you staying here? No, no.

I can't stand the sight of blood.

What are you doing with that baby? Well, I took it

for a drink of milkies. Well, wait here a minute.

Very well.

Take this baby back to the canteen and keep it there.

I never want to see it again.

Oh, very well.

Oh, my baby, is he all right? Yes.

I'll take him to the classroom. Oh, no,

Miss Courtney said I have to keep him in the canteen. Oh, no,

I'll not take the chance of losing him again. Oh, well, please yourself.

He did it, then. Yeah.

Who did what? Mr. Brownies saved the baby off the window ledge.

What are you talking about? The baby's never been on the window ledge.

No? No.

Well, Mr. Brownies... Very pretty baby.

Yeah, I would love to have a baby like that.

Come out with me tonight and I'll...

Hey, there's professore.

Blimey, he's out of his mind.

Mr. Brown, please come in. You all right, Mr. Brown?

Just about. How's the baby? Oh, he's okay. Oh, thank goodness for that.

Would you hold him for me for a moment?

Well, I don't think I can really... No, do what?

I'll fix his blanket.

Oh, well, hurry up.

Mr. Brown, what is that baby doing in the classroom? Wait.

I'll give it three guesses.