All language subtitles for YS 2x17 - Albert Einstein and the Story of Another Mary

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:05,755 It's typical for young people to admire rock stars. 2 00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:08,972 For my sister, it was Cyndi Lauper. 3 00:00:11,516 --> 00:00:13,559 For my brother, it was Bon Jovi. 4 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:15,303 Well, Jon, we look good. 5 00:00:19,130 --> 00:00:23,216 For me, the rock star I a most was... 6 00:00:23,217 --> 00:00:25,301 Albert Einstein. 7 00:00:27,685 --> 00:00:30,991 Di playing the violin? 8 00:00:31,011 --> 00:00:32,052 So? 9 00:00:32,072 --> 00:00:34,998 He believe him formulate his theories. 10 00:00:35,098 --> 00:00:36,539 So? 11 00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:39,065 Einstein was arguably the greatest scientific mind 12 00:00:39,085 --> 00:00:40,376 of the 20th century. 13 00:00:40,377 --> 00:00:42,551 If music helpe help me. 14 00:00:42,591 --> 00:00:44,094 So? 15 00:00:45,396 --> 00:00:47,319 I got to go talk to my mom. 16 00:00:47,379 --> 00:00:49,151 - Everything okay? - Yeah, 17 00:00:49,152 --> 00:00:51,026 she's just got some problems she's dealing with. 18 00:00:51,046 --> 00:00:53,089 Kins lunch? 19 00:00:53,099 --> 00:00:55,052 - Ah, do I have to? - George? 20 00:00:55,053 --> 00:00:56,414 Happy to. 21 00:00:56,415 --> 00:00:57,898 Be right back. 22 00:01:00,342 --> 00:01:01,765 What do y'all want for lunch? 23 00:01:01,825 --> 00:01:03,588 Peanut butter and jelly, please. 24 00:01:03,608 --> 00:01:04,620 Great. Missy? 25 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:08,295 Tuna salad on rye toast, 26 00:01:08,296 --> 00:01:09,959 with slice... 27 00:01:09,999 --> 00:01:11,682 Two PBJs, got it. 28 00:01:11,762 --> 00:01:14,276 What is going on? 29 00:01:14,277 --> 00:01:16,280 - Well... - Well, what? 30 00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:18,955 - I'm trying to say it. - You woke me up. 31 00:01:18,975 --> 00:01:20,638 Spill it or I'm going back to bed. 32 00:01:20,678 --> 00:01:22,541 I'm pregnant. 33 00:01:23,503 --> 00:01:24,966 I'm awake now. 34 00:01:41,114 --> 00:01:43,577 - Synce by MementMori - -- www.aic7ed.com -- 35 00:01:43,578 --> 00:01:45,140 Are you sure? 36 00:01:45,141 --> 00:01:46,563 Yes. I'm late. 37 00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,366 - How late? - Two days. 38 00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:50,289 Oh, two days. That's nothing. 39 00:01:50,290 --> 00:01:53,214 Last time I was two the twins. 40 00:01:53,215 --> 00:01:56,059 Last time I was two menopause. 41 00:01:57,142 --> 00:01:59,286 Just trying to lighten the mood. 42 00:02:00,428 --> 00:02:02,360 So do you have... 43 00:02:02,361 --> 00:02:05,496 reason to think that you might be? 44 00:02:05,497 --> 00:02:08,682 Well, we try to be safe, but... you know, 45 00:02:08,703 --> 00:02:10,125 heat of the moment. 46 00:02:10,145 --> 00:02:12,799 Still? After three ki that beer belly 47 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,562 - hanging over his pants? - Mom? 48 00:02:14,563 --> 00:02:18,118 I think you might be getting way ahead of yourself. 49 00:02:18,119 --> 00:02:20,443 I'm telling you, I just know. 50 00:02:20,463 --> 00:02:24,220 You were also convinced that Georgie was gonna be a girl. 51 00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:26,343 That's true. 52 00:02:26,344 --> 00:02:29,459 Although he does have very pretty hair. 53 00:02:32,204 --> 00:02:33,216 Hello. 54 00:02:33,246 --> 00:02:34,417 Hi, Sheldon. 55 00:02:34,418 --> 00:02:36,371 I'd like to learn to play the violin. 56 00:02:36,391 --> 00:02:39,926 Really? Well, that's terrific. 57 00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:42,631 Do you have any experience with stringed instruments? 58 00:02:42,632 --> 00:02:44,274 Stringed instruments, no. 59 00:02:44,275 --> 00:02:46,048 String theory, yes. 60 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:50,206 That was a joke. I'm a joker. 61 00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:52,549 I think I have an old violin you can take home 62 00:02:52,550 --> 00:02:53,661 and get the feel of. 63 00:02:53,662 --> 00:02:55,134 That's great. 64 00:02:55,164 --> 00:02:56,226 Thank you. 65 00:02:56,256 --> 00:02:57,729 But I have to warn you, 66 00:02:57,749 --> 00:02:59,832 it can be a frustrating instrument to learn. 67 00:02:59,833 --> 00:03:01,836 - Can you play it? - Yes. 68 00:03:01,856 --> 00:03:03,098 I'll be fine. 69 00:03:13,517 --> 00:03:15,810 I don't see them. 70 00:03:15,811 --> 00:03:17,232 Excuse me. 71 00:03:17,233 --> 00:03:18,995 Where do you keep your pregnancy tests? 72 00:03:18,996 --> 00:03:20,018 Mom. 73 00:03:20,028 --> 00:03:21,691 Behind the counter at the pharmacy. 74 00:03:21,711 --> 00:03:23,164 Thank you. 75 00:03:23,214 --> 00:03:25,167 Wouliscreet? 76 00:03:25,197 --> 00:03:26,919 She doesn't know it's for you. 77 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,923 Well, it sure isn't for you. 78 00:03:28,924 --> 00:03:30,646 Come on. 79 00:03:30,647 --> 00:03:32,570 Ow. No. 80 00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:33,822 Well, go ahead. 81 00:03:33,832 --> 00:03:35,214 - I can't. - Why not? 82 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,297 His daughter goes to Missy's school. 83 00:03:37,298 --> 00:03:39,683 You are being ridiculous. 84 00:03:39,703 --> 00:03:41,866 I the world knowing my business. 85 00:03:41,887 --> 00:03:42,948 Okay, fine. 86 00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:45,934 - Hello! - Oh! 87 00:03:45,954 --> 00:03:47,696 Excuse me. 88 00:03:47,697 --> 00:03:49,449 - Hi, can I help you? - Yes. 89 00:03:49,450 --> 00:03:51,963 Uh, I need a... pregnancy test. 90 00:03:51,964 --> 00:03:53,045 Sure. 91 00:03:53,046 --> 00:03:54,127 We have a few options. 92 00:03:54,128 --> 00:03:55,720 Hey, Connie. 93 00:03:55,721 --> 00:03:57,795 Oh, hey, Brenda. 94 00:03:57,835 --> 00:03:59,647 Oh, you-you pick. 95 00:03:59,648 --> 00:04:01,140 Is that a pregnancy test? 96 00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:03,704 Uh, yeah. 97 00:04:03,705 --> 00:04:05,077 It's for me. 98 00:04:05,127 --> 00:04:07,952 - Really? - Yes. 99 00:04:07,992 --> 00:04:10,888 I come from a long line of really fertile women. 100 00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,930 My mother had me when she was 57. 101 00:04:12,931 --> 00:04:14,023 Can you believe it? 102 00:04:14,103 --> 00:04:16,106 I don't think I can. 103 00:04:16,107 --> 00:04:17,629 Dr. Sturgis anating 104 00:04:17,649 --> 00:04:19,853 for some time and we really try to be careful, 105 00:04:19,873 --> 00:04:22,206 but you know how it is. 106 00:04:22,207 --> 00:04:24,161 Heat of the moment. 107 00:04:24,842 --> 00:04:26,545 Hi, Mrs. Cooper! 108 00:04:27,887 --> 00:04:29,480 Hi, Billy. 109 00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,484 Are you playing hi-seek? 110 00:04:31,514 --> 00:04:33,657 Um, yeah. 111 00:04:33,658 --> 00:04:35,701 Don't tell anybody. Shh. 112 00:04:36,302 --> 00:04:37,745 Bye, Mrs. Cooper! 113 00:04:37,805 --> 00:04:39,086 Oh! 114 00:04:39,087 --> 00:04:42,603 Thank you so much. Bye. 115 00:04:43,395 --> 00:04:45,939 Wish me luck. 116 00:04:45,989 --> 00:04:49,205 It's a bit worn. But it's fine for a beginner. 117 00:04:53,212 --> 00:04:55,134 That was unpleasant. 118 00:04:55,135 --> 00:04:57,299 It just takes some practice. 119 00:04:57,359 --> 00:04:59,692 Very well. When is my first lesson? 120 00:04:59,693 --> 00:05:02,468 I'm... pretty busy right now. 121 00:05:02,488 --> 00:05:06,035 But I can give you this in the meantime. 122 00:05:06,495 --> 00:05:08,419 Anyone Can Play Violin. 123 00:05:08,459 --> 00:05:10,442 They don't set the bar very high. 124 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:15,070 You know what you neeo? 125 00:05:15,071 --> 00:05:16,253 Yes. 126 00:05:18,747 --> 00:05:20,118 How's it going? 127 00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:22,763 It' stop talking. 128 00:05:22,764 --> 00:05:24,167 Sorry. 129 00:05:27,893 --> 00:05:31,099 Now it's too quiet. Say something. 130 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:34,624 I know you n't expect this, 131 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:37,419 and you still might not be, but... 132 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:40,755 but if it turns out you are... 133 00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:43,060 I'm here for you. 134 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,444 Thanks, Mom. 135 00:05:45,504 --> 00:05:48,078 You're not the one I'm worried about. 136 00:05:48,079 --> 00:05:50,702 If I'm pregnant, George is gonna flip out. 137 00:05:50,703 --> 00:05:53,297 I'm sure he would at first. 138 00:05:53,298 --> 00:05:55,431 Then he woulown. 139 00:05:55,432 --> 00:05:58,387 Take a few beers. 140 00:05:59,399 --> 00:06:01,030 Maybe some malt liquor. 141 00:06:01,031 --> 00:06:03,625 I suppose. 142 00:06:03,626 --> 00:06:07,051 The truth is, he and I were both 143 00:06:07,052 --> 00:06:08,884 freaked out about having twins. 144 00:06:08,885 --> 00:06:11,900 But now I can't imagine life without them. 145 00:06:11,901 --> 00:06:13,813 Well, see, there you are. 146 00:06:13,814 --> 00:06:17,690 So, no matter what that test says, 147 00:06:17,691 --> 00:06:19,613 you're gonna be okay. 148 00:06:19,614 --> 00:06:20,666 You're right. 149 00:06:21,708 --> 00:06:24,172 What's it say? 150 00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,899 I'm gonna go buy that malt liquor. 151 00:06:33,088 --> 00:06:34,189 To get started, 152 00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:36,633 place your violin in rest position. 153 00:06:36,634 --> 00:06:38,257 Your feet should be together. 154 00:06:38,277 --> 00:06:39,940 Your right arm should be 155 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,321 over your instrument, 156 00:06:41,322 --> 00:06:44,268 not touching the strings or the bridge. 157 00:06:44,748 --> 00:06:46,471 Put your left hanoing? 158 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:48,194 What does it look like? 159 00:06:48,214 --> 00:06:49,917 Like you're looking for another excuse 160 00:06:49,938 --> 00:06:51,459 for kids to pick on you. 161 00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:53,604 Now, you are ready to position your feet. 162 00:06:53,624 --> 00:06:56,579 Zip your feet open an 163 00:06:56,589 --> 00:06:58,673 with your left foot. 164 00:06:58,693 --> 00:07:00,256 Your feet shouloing? 165 00:07:00,316 --> 00:07:03,261 I was gonna watch DuckTales, but this looks funnier. 166 00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:05,504 ... proceer. 167 00:07:05,505 --> 00:07:08,971 Hold your violin above the left foot 168 00:07:08,991 --> 00:07:10,984 with the neck of the instrument pointing up. 169 00:07:10,985 --> 00:07:12,857 Left foot, neck up. 170 00:07:12,858 --> 00:07:14,780 Now rotate the neck of the instrument 171 00:07:14,781 --> 00:07:17,606 counterclockwise, so that the neck points 172 00:07:17,646 --> 00:07:19,209 at your left foot. 173 00:07:19,229 --> 00:07:21,513 - Oh, boy. - I was right. 174 00:07:21,543 --> 00:07:23,966 Bend your left elbow so that the violin 175 00:07:23,967 --> 00:07:25,660 rests on your shoulder 176 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,584 an on the chin rest. 177 00:07:27,604 --> 00:07:30,649 Now try. 178 00:07:30,669 --> 00:07:32,272 See if you can hold your instrument 179 00:07:32,292 --> 00:07:33,975 without your hands. 180 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,099 - Time yourself at this... - What's going on? 181 00:07:36,159 --> 00:07:38,924 I'm learning to play the violin. 182 00:07:38,944 --> 00:07:40,827 It's my new favorite show. 183 00:07:40,847 --> 00:07:43,491 Once you feel you have control of your instrument, 184 00:07:43,492 --> 00:07:46,717 try moving your han. 185 00:07:54,381 --> 00:07:56,324 Repeat this procedure until you can position 186 00:07:56,334 --> 00:07:58,939 your instrument comfortably and quickly. 187 00:08:04,449 --> 00:08:06,112 He'll just be another minute. 188 00:08:06,132 --> 00:08:07,795 Thank you. 189 00:08:11,181 --> 00:08:13,485 - What's that about? - Oh... 190 00:08:13,545 --> 00:08:16,350 just trying not to breathe the smoke in. 191 00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:17,801 Come on. 192 00:08:17,802 --> 00:08:20,426 It alrea my lungs. 193 00:08:20,427 --> 00:08:22,930 This stuff is squeaky clean. 194 00:08:22,931 --> 00:08:24,704 Well, still. 195 00:08:24,774 --> 00:08:28,330 He's all yours, your highness. 196 00:08:28,331 --> 00:08:29,753 All right. 197 00:08:31,596 --> 00:08:33,359 Hey, Mare, what's up? 198 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:35,012 Other than the big guy. 199 00:08:35,022 --> 00:08:36,214 God joke. 200 00:08:36,215 --> 00:08:40,812 Actually, um, I coulance. 201 00:08:40,813 --> 00:08:42,284 I got some news today, 202 00:08:42,285 --> 00:08:45,060 and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. 203 00:08:45,130 --> 00:08:47,364 Of course. Sit. 204 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:54,656 Well... I am... 205 00:08:54,657 --> 00:08:56,609 um... 206 00:08:56,610 --> 00:08:58,112 with child. 207 00:08:58,113 --> 00:08:59,925 That's wonderful! 208 00:08:59,926 --> 00:09:01,449 Congratulations! 209 00:09:01,469 --> 00:09:03,112 How far along are you? 210 00:09:03,152 --> 00:09:05,044 Uh, coulown just a little? 211 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,717 I haven't exactly told George yet. 212 00:09:06,718 --> 00:09:08,891 Got it. And why not? 213 00:09:08,892 --> 00:09:10,305 It is his, right? 214 00:09:10,365 --> 00:09:11,987 Of course. 215 00:09:11,988 --> 00:09:13,670 Apologies. 216 00:09:13,691 --> 00:09:15,623 Hey, I'm a pastor in a small town. 217 00:09:15,624 --> 00:09:19,160 You wouldn't believe the juicy things I hear. 218 00:09:20,623 --> 00:09:23,597 This just wasn't part of our plan. 219 00:09:23,598 --> 00:09:26,322 Well, luckily... it's part of God's plan. 220 00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:28,496 And let me tell you about another Mary 221 00:09:28,497 --> 00:09:31,250 who n't know how to tell her husband she was expecting. 222 00:09:31,251 --> 00:09:34,207 Aner than yours. 223 00:09:36,971 --> 00:09:39,445 In order to practice this, move your bow 224 00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:42,781 in a counterclockwise direction. 225 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:46,488 Keep your hand moving right with the tip of the bow. 226 00:09:46,508 --> 00:09:47,590 For our next song, 227 00:09:47,610 --> 00:09:49,113 "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," 228 00:09:49,133 --> 00:09:52,118 remember, posture is our most important thing. 229 00:09:52,138 --> 00:09:53,650 Set, play. 230 00:10:06,283 --> 00:10:08,387 Diid it! 231 00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,060 I id. 232 00:10:10,831 --> 00:10:13,856 And now we see how it helps my science. 233 00:10:15,038 --> 00:10:17,463 Hmm. 234 00:10:17,543 --> 00:10:20,147 Hmm... 235 00:10:22,512 --> 00:10:24,555 Come on, think. 236 00:10:26,198 --> 00:10:28,262 Probably needs more "Twinkle, Twinkle." 237 00:10:28,282 --> 00:10:29,965 ... for learning new songs. 238 00:10:29,985 --> 00:10:32,007 You can play them along with me. 239 00:10:41,315 --> 00:10:42,816 What the hell is that? 240 00:10:42,817 --> 00:10:45,742 Sheldon's learning to play the violin. 241 00:10:45,743 --> 00:10:48,077 Oh. Well, that's unfortunate. 242 00:10:48,137 --> 00:10:49,248 Mm-hmm. 243 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:51,322 I'm gonna go change. 244 00:10:54,007 --> 00:10:55,369 Hey, Dad. 245 00:10:55,390 --> 00:10:57,943 Can you believe I only starteay? 246 00:10:57,944 --> 00:10:59,697 I really can. 247 00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:14,071 Hey, so there's something 248 00:11:14,072 --> 00:11:15,875 I've been meaning to talk to you about. 249 00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:17,077 Sure, what's up? 250 00:11:17,078 --> 00:11:20,803 Now, before I say it, um, 251 00:11:20,804 --> 00:11:23,849 I want to tell you a story of another Mary. 252 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,572 Um... 253 00:11:25,573 --> 00:11:27,184 Okay, anytime... 254 00:11:27,185 --> 00:11:29,749 Are you kiing me? 255 00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,372 Keep your voice down. 256 00:11:31,373 --> 00:11:32,755 Are you kiing me? 257 00:11:32,785 --> 00:11:35,660 Look, I was a little thrown, too, but Pastor Jeff said... 258 00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:37,212 Pastor Jeff? 259 00:11:37,213 --> 00:11:38,906 Pastor Jeff knows before me? 260 00:11:38,916 --> 00:11:41,771 Well, yeah, I nee someone to talk to, 261 00:11:41,781 --> 00:11:43,895 - and, you know, my mom... - Your mom? 262 00:11:43,915 --> 00:11:45,017 Shh! 263 00:11:45,057 --> 00:11:46,720 Does the whole damn town know? 264 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:50,186 No. Just my mom and Pastor Jeff. 265 00:11:50,256 --> 00:11:53,472 Ana Sparks. 266 00:11:53,512 --> 00:11:55,395 Probably Peg... 267 00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:59,161 an, but that is it. 268 00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:00,193 Oh, is that it? 269 00:12:00,194 --> 00:12:02,366 Great news! 270 00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:03,669 Not a gooon. 271 00:12:03,670 --> 00:12:05,633 But it's really important. 272 00:12:05,653 --> 00:12:07,156 Ugh. 273 00:12:08,859 --> 00:12:12,135 I figure for Einstein 274 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,616 and not for me. 275 00:12:13,617 --> 00:12:15,891 I need to become a Jewish person. 276 00:12:21,962 --> 00:12:24,787 - Shelinner! - Coming. 277 00:12:27,381 --> 00:12:30,116 Sorry I'm late. Shalom. 278 00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:35,134 What's on your head? 279 00:12:35,135 --> 00:12:37,309 - A yarmulke. - A yama-what? 280 00:12:37,369 --> 00:12:38,992 It's a special Jewish hat. 281 00:12:39,012 --> 00:12:41,856 It remin is always over you. 282 00:12:43,189 --> 00:12:44,611 Mom. 283 00:12:44,612 --> 00:12:46,225 Oh, come on, it's funny. 284 00:12:46,245 --> 00:12:48,388 It's not funny and it's not a yarmulke. 285 00:12:48,408 --> 00:12:50,753 It is a coaster I crocheted at Bible camp. 286 00:12:52,215 --> 00:12:53,767 Are you gonna say something to him? 287 00:12:53,768 --> 00:12:56,783 Normally I would, but I got bigger problems right now. 288 00:12:59,368 --> 00:13:01,490 - Let's just say grace. - Hold on. 289 00:13:01,491 --> 00:13:03,574 Are these hot dogs kosher? 290 00:13:09,145 --> 00:13:10,577 Over the next few days, 291 00:13:10,587 --> 00:13:12,671 I continued to play the violin 292 00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:16,518 in an effort to replicate the mental prowess of Einstein. 293 00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:19,503 I was asked to confine my practice to the garage 294 00:13:19,523 --> 00:13:22,549 by my father, mother, sister and brother. 295 00:13:22,589 --> 00:13:25,013 Meemaw was fine with me practicing in the house, 296 00:13:25,033 --> 00:13:27,537 but why wouloesn't live with us. 297 00:13:29,451 --> 00:13:30,982 Hey, George. 298 00:13:30,983 --> 00:13:32,796 Hey, Herschel. 299 00:13:32,797 --> 00:13:34,389 Let me guess, you're here to complain 300 00:13:34,409 --> 00:13:35,932 about Sheldon's violin playing. 301 00:13:35,952 --> 00:13:38,066 Un say yeah, 302 00:13:38,096 --> 00:13:39,397 but since he started, 303 00:13:39,398 --> 00:13:42,564 my chickens been dropping eggs like crazy. 304 00:13:43,576 --> 00:13:45,459 - That's weird. - Hey, uh, 305 00:13:45,489 --> 00:13:47,833 I hear congratulations are in order. 306 00:13:47,873 --> 00:13:49,336 What's that you hear? 307 00:13:49,376 --> 00:13:51,599 Maybe I n't hear it. Never mind. 308 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:52,801 It's all right. 309 00:13:52,802 --> 00:13:55,225 Seems like everybody knows. 310 00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:57,639 You don't seem terribly enthusiastic. 311 00:13:59,113 --> 00:14:00,985 It's the money, Herschel. 312 00:14:00,986 --> 00:14:02,658 It's all about the money. 313 00:14:02,659 --> 00:14:05,914 Well, there's only one solution to that. 314 00:14:05,915 --> 00:14:07,387 Which is? 315 00:14:07,397 --> 00:14:09,009 You got to make more money. 316 00:14:09,010 --> 00:14:11,114 - Thank you. - Welcome. 317 00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:12,606 Hey, I got to ask, 318 00:14:12,607 --> 00:14:16,242 that file playing increase the fertility in all the females 319 00:14:16,243 --> 00:14:19,287 around here or just my chickens? 320 00:14:19,288 --> 00:14:21,762 I was just throwing it out there, never mind. 321 00:14:21,763 --> 00:14:24,186 Wait here, I'm-a go get you some eggs. 322 00:14:24,187 --> 00:14:26,862 - That's okay. - You're getting eggs. 323 00:14:26,902 --> 00:14:29,286 Guess I'm getting eggs. 324 00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,330 All right, George, 325 00:14:31,350 --> 00:14:34,664 - what's so damn important? - Well... 326 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:37,249 I wherefore's, 327 00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:39,844 but I'm gonna need a raise. 328 00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:41,567 Is this 'cause Mary's pregnant? 329 00:14:41,568 --> 00:14:43,740 You got to be kiing me. 330 00:14:43,741 --> 00:14:45,994 Does everyboamn town know my business? 331 00:14:45,995 --> 00:14:47,948 I just... it was taking a guess. 332 00:14:47,949 --> 00:14:50,223 - Tom. - My wife told me. 333 00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:53,798 Doesn't matter. What do you say? 334 00:14:53,799 --> 00:14:56,143 Are you threatening to quit if you don't get it? 335 00:14:56,193 --> 00:14:58,177 No, Tom, I'm threatening to rob a bank. 336 00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:00,721 Okay. All right, well, let's not do that. 337 00:15:02,404 --> 00:15:04,457 $100 a week do the trick? 338 00:15:04,458 --> 00:15:07,433 Yes. Thanks. Bye. 339 00:15:13,604 --> 00:15:14,945 Temple Judea, 340 00:15:14,946 --> 00:15:16,107 how can I help you? 341 00:15:16,108 --> 00:15:18,081 Hello, I'd like to become Jewish. 342 00:15:18,082 --> 00:15:19,924 Who would be in charge of that? 343 00:15:19,925 --> 00:15:21,257 How old are you? 344 00:15:21,298 --> 00:15:23,761 - I'm ten. - Please hold. 345 00:15:29,482 --> 00:15:31,785 Hello, this is Rabbi Schneiderman. 346 00:15:31,786 --> 00:15:33,289 To whom am I speaking? 347 00:15:33,359 --> 00:15:35,251 Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper. 348 00:15:35,252 --> 00:15:38,837 Hello, Sheldon. Um, how can I help you? 349 00:15:38,838 --> 00:15:40,325 I'm currently a Baptist 350 00:15:40,326 --> 00:15:42,655 an like to convert to Judaism. 351 00:15:42,735 --> 00:15:45,329 A Baptist nameon. 352 00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:47,533 Okay. 353 00:15:47,534 --> 00:15:49,366 Ano you want to convert? 354 00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:50,449 Very simple. 355 00:15:50,469 --> 00:15:52,673 It's my intention to become a great scientist 356 00:15:52,693 --> 00:15:53,929 ann't help but notice 357 00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:56,039 most of the great scientists are Jewish, 358 00:15:56,059 --> 00:15:59,244 so logic dictates it's time to switch teams. 359 00:15:59,284 --> 00:16:00,896 Well, I'm sure there are 360 00:16:00,897 --> 00:16:04,122 many Baptist scientists you could emulate. 361 00:16:04,123 --> 00:16:05,464 That's kind of you to say, 362 00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,919 but other than Cornelius Drebbel in the 1500s, 363 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,471 it's pretty slim pickings. 364 00:16:11,175 --> 00:16:13,989 Well, Shel like a very smart young man. 365 00:16:13,990 --> 00:16:15,772 Oh, you have no idea. 366 00:16:15,773 --> 00:16:18,617 Can I ask how your parents feel about this? 367 00:16:18,618 --> 00:16:21,203 Well, when I presented them with my plan, 368 00:16:21,223 --> 00:16:23,507 the woreay" were used. 369 00:16:25,090 --> 00:16:26,391 I'm not surprised. 370 00:16:26,392 --> 00:16:28,516 But they were similarly resistant 371 00:16:28,536 --> 00:16:29,947 when I wanted to get an ant farm 372 00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:31,731 an. 373 00:16:31,732 --> 00:16:35,798 All right, here's what I'm gonna tell you to do. 374 00:16:35,799 --> 00:16:37,301 Read your Bible. 375 00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:39,144 Alreaid, cover to cover. 376 00:16:39,145 --> 00:16:41,097 - Really? - Quiz me. 377 00:16:41,098 --> 00:16:44,433 No, that's okay, I believe you. 378 00:16:44,434 --> 00:16:47,659 All right, my advice to you 379 00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:50,874 is to stay with the faith of your parents. 380 00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:53,208 - What else you got? - Okay. 381 00:16:53,209 --> 00:16:55,683 Then I'm gonna tell you 382 00:16:55,684 --> 00:16:57,556 to be your own man. 383 00:16:57,557 --> 00:17:00,732 But I want to be a great scientist like Albert Einstein. 384 00:17:00,733 --> 00:17:01,904 Sheldon, 385 00:17:01,905 --> 00:17:04,208 when your days are over, 386 00:17:04,209 --> 00:17:07,003 God will never ask you, 387 00:17:07,004 --> 00:17:10,589 "Why weren't you Einstein?" 388 00:17:10,590 --> 00:17:13,475 But he might ask you, 389 00:17:13,515 --> 00:17:15,919 "Why weren't you Sheldon?" 390 00:17:24,274 --> 00:17:26,387 What's going on? You all right? 391 00:17:26,388 --> 00:17:29,203 I'm not feeling great. 392 00:17:29,283 --> 00:17:30,705 Is it a pregnant thing? 393 00:17:30,725 --> 00:17:32,909 'Cause I got some good news on that. 394 00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:35,544 I got a decent raise. 395 00:17:35,614 --> 00:17:37,197 It doesn't matter. 396 00:17:37,217 --> 00:17:38,718 What oesn't matter? 397 00:17:38,719 --> 00:17:40,402 We can pull this off now. 398 00:17:41,825 --> 00:17:45,010 I lost the baby. 399 00:17:47,855 --> 00:17:50,580 Oh. 400 00:18:00,227 --> 00:18:02,421 You're probably relieved, huh? 401 00:18:03,663 --> 00:18:07,190 Actually... 402 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,834 ... no. 403 00:18:14,863 --> 00:18:17,196 I love the first three. 404 00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,371 Fourth one's a charm, right? 405 00:18:23,679 --> 00:18:25,882 Dad? 406 00:18:25,902 --> 00:18:28,106 Mom? 407 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,373 Yeah, Shelly? 408 00:18:32,374 --> 00:18:34,182 I just thought you should know 409 00:18:34,183 --> 00:18:35,709 I'm not going to be Jewish. 410 00:18:35,710 --> 00:18:39,386 I'm going to remain the atheist Baptist you've come to love. 411 00:18:41,179 --> 00:18:43,512 Good to hear. 412 00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:45,317 Are you crying? 413 00:18:47,531 --> 00:18:50,506 Yeah, but don't worry, everything's okay. 414 00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:55,214 Good. 415 00:18:59,642 --> 00:19:00,764 Once again, 416 00:19:00,784 --> 00:19:02,706 I brought my mother so much joy 417 00:19:02,707 --> 00:19:04,571 she was moved to tears. 418 00:19:04,591 --> 00:19:06,975 I o it. 419 00:19:12,835 --> 00:19:15,019 Tom, George Cooper's here for you. 420 00:19:15,039 --> 00:19:16,871 Send him in. 421 00:19:16,872 --> 00:19:19,196 Hey, Tom, you got a minute? 422 00:19:19,236 --> 00:19:21,189 Pretty busy. 423 00:19:21,190 --> 00:19:22,863 Make it quick. 424 00:19:23,965 --> 00:19:26,289 It turns out I that raise. 425 00:19:26,309 --> 00:19:27,951 What happened, you win the lottery? 426 00:19:27,952 --> 00:19:30,075 No, no. 427 00:19:35,104 --> 00:19:38,410 Aw, George, I am so sorry. 428 00:19:38,450 --> 00:19:41,095 Well, what can you do? 429 00:19:42,477 --> 00:19:44,421 Listen, I clearey, 430 00:19:44,441 --> 00:19:45,682 why don't you just keep the money. 431 00:19:45,683 --> 00:19:47,776 - Oh, no, I coulo that. - No. 432 00:19:47,777 --> 00:19:50,571 No, I mean it. It's yours. 433 00:19:52,074 --> 00:19:53,957 Okay. 434 00:19:53,998 --> 00:19:56,502 Thanks. Bye. 435 00:19:59,107 --> 00:20:01,651 Thank you, but I will no longer be needing these. 436 00:20:01,671 --> 00:20:04,636 You're giving up so soon? What happened? 437 00:20:04,656 --> 00:20:06,278 - Did it hurt your fingers? - No. 438 00:20:06,279 --> 00:20:09,203 I'm following the aerman 439 00:20:09,204 --> 00:20:11,088 from Temple Judea in Houston. 440 00:20:11,889 --> 00:20:13,947 Is this another one of your jokes? 441 00:20:14,002 --> 00:20:16,517 No. If it were a joke, your mouth would be open 442 00:20:16,537 --> 00:20:19,653 an "ha-ha" would be coming out. 443 00:20:21,115 --> 00:20:26,124 - Synce by MementMori - -- www.aic7ed.com -- 29093

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