All language subtitles for The Big C s03e06 Life Rights.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam Download
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,751 It's so hard 2 00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:58,571 to turn your life over 3 00:01:00,613 --> 00:01:02,501 step out 4 00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:07,064 of your comfort zone 5 00:01:09,494 --> 00:01:12,887 is this some kind of a joke? 6 00:01:13,035 --> 00:01:17,673 will someone wake me up soon? 7 00:01:17,875 --> 00:01:22,992 and tell me this was just the game we play 8 00:01:23,215 --> 00:01:28,141 called life 9 00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:31,342 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 10 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,493 [Groans softly] 11 00:01:42,974 --> 00:01:44,989 - Aah! - [Shrieks] 12 00:01:45,077 --> 00:01:46,645 Oh, Jesus. 13 00:01:46,715 --> 00:01:48,504 - Damn it. - Andrea... 14 00:01:48,583 --> 00:01:50,982 Is that how you wake up Mr. J every morning? 15 00:01:51,087 --> 00:01:52,141 Well, where is he? 16 00:01:52,189 --> 00:01:53,786 He's in the shower. 17 00:01:53,857 --> 00:01:55,040 I had to wake him up early 18 00:01:55,093 --> 00:01:56,786 for his talk in duluth and... 19 00:01:56,861 --> 00:01:58,940 I just fell asleep waiting for him to get-- 20 00:01:59,032 --> 00:02:00,277 Oh, crap! 21 00:02:00,332 --> 00:02:02,026 Is that the time?! 22 00:02:03,769 --> 00:02:06,296 Mr. J! We're gonna be late. 23 00:02:06,407 --> 00:02:08,229 [Pounding on door] This is really cutting into 24 00:02:08,309 --> 00:02:09,779 my hotel jacuzzi time. 25 00:02:09,845 --> 00:02:11,955 I gotta jump back in the shower. 26 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,710 I used this extra-strength hair gel, 27 00:02:13,783 --> 00:02:15,092 and my head feels like a fucking candy apple. 28 00:02:15,151 --> 00:02:16,109 Hi, honey. 29 00:02:16,152 --> 00:02:17,110 [Door shuts] 30 00:02:17,153 --> 00:02:18,686 Argh! 31 00:02:18,754 --> 00:02:19,713 [Sighs] 32 00:02:19,757 --> 00:02:21,676 [Clattering] 33 00:02:21,761 --> 00:02:23,358 Is that Adam? 34 00:02:23,429 --> 00:02:24,772 [Clanking] 35 00:02:24,832 --> 00:02:27,262 Adam? 36 00:02:27,368 --> 00:02:29,702 [Disappointed] Oh, hi. 37 00:02:29,805 --> 00:02:31,372 Wow! I don't know if it's the fact 38 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:33,519 that I'm raising your son now, but you look great. 39 00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:34,922 Do you have any tomato sauce? 40 00:02:34,980 --> 00:02:37,217 Yeah, above the oven. Just so we're clear... 41 00:02:37,315 --> 00:02:39,041 Adam spending the past week with you 42 00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:41,356 does not qualify as you raising him. 43 00:02:41,454 --> 00:02:43,532 - How is he? - Hungry. 44 00:02:43,623 --> 00:02:45,669 The kid eats like a starving peasant. 45 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,414 You know, I feel like I spend all my time 46 00:02:48,530 --> 00:02:49,744 grocery shopping in your fridge 47 00:02:49,798 --> 00:02:51,491 or giving head on the phone. 48 00:02:51,566 --> 00:02:54,188 I mean, where is the "me" in all this? 49 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:56,734 I hope you're not taking calls in front of Adam. 50 00:02:56,839 --> 00:02:58,245 I mean, I am trying to be supportive 51 00:02:58,307 --> 00:03:01,057 - your porn phone business. - Yeah, don't worry, Cath. 52 00:03:01,178 --> 00:03:03,512 I take all the fist fuck talk out back. 53 00:03:03,615 --> 00:03:04,733 Okay, you need to send Adam home. 54 00:03:04,783 --> 00:03:06,381 It's fine. 55 00:03:06,452 --> 00:03:08,114 Probably good for you two to have a little separation. 56 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,010 He kind of hates you right now. 57 00:03:10,091 --> 00:03:11,497 I'm gonna need some caffeine 58 00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,093 to continue this conversation. 59 00:03:13,162 --> 00:03:15,240 [Mouth full] You know, even I have to admit, 60 00:03:15,331 --> 00:03:16,992 that kid is a handful. 61 00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:18,312 [Chuckles] 62 00:03:18,367 --> 00:03:19,965 I don't know how you did it for 15 years. 63 00:03:20,037 --> 00:03:22,243 Liquor and summer camp helped take the edge off. 64 00:03:22,339 --> 00:03:24,417 Getting a new baby's gonna be a great excuse 65 00:03:24,509 --> 00:03:25,787 to double my drinking. 66 00:03:25,844 --> 00:03:27,634 Speaking of new baby insanity, 67 00:03:27,714 --> 00:03:29,632 that's for you. 68 00:03:29,717 --> 00:03:33,171 It's the crib Rebecca and I got for baby Cathy. 69 00:03:33,321 --> 00:03:36,710 Good luck putting that fucker back together. 70 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,669 - Oh. Hi, there. - Hey, what's up, man? 71 00:03:41,732 --> 00:03:43,490 - Hi. - So, uh, 72 00:03:43,568 --> 00:03:45,261 you're Cathy's baby daddy. 73 00:03:45,336 --> 00:03:46,550 - Uh... - Yeah, I gotta run. 74 00:03:46,604 --> 00:03:48,298 I gotta feed my nephew before he chews his own lips 75 00:03:48,373 --> 00:03:49,875 off for breakfast. 76 00:03:52,912 --> 00:03:55,277 - Oh! - Ohh, shit. 77 00:03:55,381 --> 00:03:57,171 I knew it. I'm overdressed. 78 00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:58,880 Oh! Oh. 79 00:03:58,953 --> 00:04:01,479 I am sorry about the pajamas. 80 00:04:01,590 --> 00:04:03,668 Don't worry about it. There were, like, three guys 81 00:04:03,759 --> 00:04:05,005 on the bus dressed the same way. 82 00:04:05,061 --> 00:04:06,563 Here, this is for you. 83 00:04:06,630 --> 00:04:09,284 It's, uh, Maxine's prenatal tests and stuff, 84 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,030 which she totally aced. 85 00:04:11,102 --> 00:04:13,724 Just don't ask us for our SAT scores. 86 00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:17,068 Thanks. 87 00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:19,000 Come on in. I'm making coffee. 88 00:04:19,079 --> 00:04:20,741 Great. 89 00:04:20,814 --> 00:04:23,627 So, uh, Adam spends a lot of time with his uncle, huh? 90 00:04:23,751 --> 00:04:25,989 Yeah, well, you know, not all the time. 91 00:04:26,086 --> 00:04:28,548 Just a few days here and there, but... 92 00:04:28,657 --> 00:04:30,735 It's been a few days. 93 00:04:30,827 --> 00:04:33,384 Adam kind of reminds me of me when I was his age. 94 00:04:33,496 --> 00:04:35,189 I really wanted my independence, 95 00:04:35,263 --> 00:04:37,085 but for me, that meant running away 96 00:04:37,166 --> 00:04:38,635 and following around the band phish. 97 00:04:38,701 --> 00:04:41,516 After about a month, even my tambourine smelled like pot. 98 00:04:41,638 --> 00:04:42,852 - Hmm. - Hey! 99 00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:44,025 Look who's here. How you doing? 100 00:04:44,074 --> 00:04:45,479 Paul, what's up, man? 101 00:04:45,543 --> 00:04:46,565 You have time for a cup of coffee? 102 00:04:46,611 --> 00:04:49,201 - Absolutely. - Wrong. 103 00:04:49,314 --> 00:04:51,040 I googled the traffic, and it sucks. 104 00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,170 We gotta go now. 105 00:04:52,218 --> 00:04:54,455 I'm having early-onset road rage. 106 00:04:54,554 --> 00:04:56,088 [Inhales sharply] Damn. 107 00:04:56,155 --> 00:04:57,881 Wish me luck. [Laughs] 108 00:04:57,958 --> 00:04:59,907 You don't need it, but good luck. 109 00:04:59,993 --> 00:05:01,879 Be back at noon tomorrow. 110 00:05:01,963 --> 00:05:04,329 Ababuo is extremely punctual, and I'm very much her bitch. 111 00:05:04,433 --> 00:05:05,647 So I'll see you then. 112 00:05:05,701 --> 00:05:07,012 Later, Dave. 113 00:05:07,071 --> 00:05:09,692 Later. 114 00:05:09,807 --> 00:05:12,269 So, uh... What's all that? 115 00:05:12,376 --> 00:05:15,350 Oh, it's a crib. 116 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,070 Huh. Looks comfy. 117 00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:21,541 You're a contractor. Can you fix it? 118 00:05:22,890 --> 00:05:24,904 Adam! 119 00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,070 Breakfast! 120 00:05:27,162 --> 00:05:30,744 You want honey-toasted diabetes or frosted obesity flakes? 121 00:05:30,900 --> 00:05:32,147 [Knocks] Adam? 122 00:05:32,203 --> 00:05:33,576 - Uhh! - [Gasps] 123 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,356 [Rock music playing] Close the fucking door! 124 00:05:36,476 --> 00:05:38,426 125 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:41,133 Jesus Christ on a stick. 126 00:05:44,116 --> 00:05:45,939 So how was the contractor business? 127 00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:47,682 Ah, it was frozen. But it's cool. 128 00:05:47,756 --> 00:05:50,666 People start hiring contractors in a couple months. 129 00:05:50,793 --> 00:05:53,127 There's always a flurry of home renovations come spring. 130 00:05:53,230 --> 00:05:55,500 Well, I'm definitely paying you for helping with the crib. 131 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,997 No, Cathy, save your money for Greenpeace. 132 00:05:58,102 --> 00:05:59,413 I'm not a charity case. 133 00:05:59,470 --> 00:06:00,460 Well, Greenpeace isn't gonna help me 134 00:06:00,506 --> 00:06:01,976 put the crib together. 135 00:06:02,041 --> 00:06:05,269 And I'm sure things are tight for you and Maxine. 136 00:06:05,410 --> 00:06:07,136 Okay... You can pay me. 137 00:06:07,212 --> 00:06:09,962 Now I feel like I stole from Greenpeace. 138 00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:11,265 [Laughs] 139 00:06:11,318 --> 00:06:12,660 You know, obviously, 140 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,030 none of this is gonna be here 141 00:06:14,089 --> 00:06:15,334 when we turn this into the nursery. 142 00:06:15,389 --> 00:06:17,276 We're making a bedroom for Andrea in the basement. 143 00:06:17,359 --> 00:06:18,861 She was upset about it till she found out 144 00:06:18,928 --> 00:06:20,525 she's gonna have her own bathroom. 145 00:06:20,595 --> 00:06:23,345 [Both laugh] 146 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,544 You know, I don't know why they didn't put a window 147 00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:28,768 in this wall. 148 00:06:28,905 --> 00:06:31,911 It'd be so nice to have some southern exposure. 149 00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:33,801 Oh, well. 150 00:06:33,879 --> 00:06:35,349 I guess I'll just-- I'll just hang a picture 151 00:06:35,415 --> 00:06:37,653 of a big window and call it a day. 152 00:06:37,751 --> 00:06:40,020 Wait, you-- I mean, you're fucking with me, right? 153 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,559 I'm a-- I'm a contractor. 154 00:06:41,624 --> 00:06:43,382 I can give you southern exposure. 155 00:06:43,459 --> 00:06:44,673 With all the sunlight in here, 156 00:06:44,728 --> 00:06:46,677 that little baby's gonna have an amazing tan. 157 00:06:46,762 --> 00:06:48,201 [Laughs] 158 00:06:48,265 --> 00:06:52,711 [Paul blabbering] 159 00:06:52,905 --> 00:06:54,055 Are you choking? 160 00:06:54,107 --> 00:06:55,545 Do you need me to punch you in the neck? 161 00:06:55,609 --> 00:06:56,919 - Joy taught me some vocal warm-ups 162 00:06:56,978 --> 00:06:58,416 so that I wouldn't stress my voice. 163 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:00,398 Well, it's stressing my ears. 164 00:07:00,482 --> 00:07:01,760 Here's your tea. 165 00:07:01,818 --> 00:07:03,095 - Paul? - Thank you. 166 00:07:03,152 --> 00:07:05,294 I would like you to meet a dear friend of mine. 167 00:07:05,388 --> 00:07:06,378 Rita Strauss. 168 00:07:06,423 --> 00:07:07,445 How do I know that name? 169 00:07:07,491 --> 00:07:09,760 She's a film producer. 170 00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:12,385 Oh, my God. I know who you are. 171 00:07:12,496 --> 00:07:14,062 Holy crap. 172 00:07:14,132 --> 00:07:15,794 Your movies are awesome! Thank you. 173 00:07:15,866 --> 00:07:18,361 I'm shooting another one on location outside of Duluth 174 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:19,908 as we speak, but when I heard 175 00:07:19,971 --> 00:07:21,377 you were in town, 176 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,039 I had to come and shake your hand. 177 00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,251 I'm a huge fan, I just-- It's terrific meeting you. 178 00:07:25,346 --> 00:07:28,384 Yes, it is terrific for me to meet you. 179 00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:31,137 And this is his assistant, Ababuo. 180 00:07:31,253 --> 00:07:33,460 - Ababuo. - Saw you on the Oscars. 181 00:07:33,556 --> 00:07:34,929 Whoever started playing that music 182 00:07:34,991 --> 00:07:37,325 to cut your speech off should be bitch slapped. 183 00:07:37,428 --> 00:07:38,865 But at least you won. 184 00:07:38,929 --> 00:07:40,271 [Laughing] Damn straight. 185 00:07:40,331 --> 00:07:42,537 And did you see Harvey's face when I walked past him? 186 00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:46,023 It was like I shit in his dinner. 187 00:07:46,171 --> 00:07:47,385 Oh, but let me tell you, Paul, 188 00:07:47,439 --> 00:07:48,749 I have been addicted to your blog 189 00:07:48,808 --> 00:07:50,566 ever since Jeri turned me on to it. 190 00:07:50,644 --> 00:07:52,497 Thank you. Who's Jeri? 191 00:07:52,579 --> 00:07:53,985 Oh! I have known Rita 192 00:07:54,047 --> 00:07:55,965 since before I changed my name and my life. 193 00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:58,160 Paul, your story is amazing. 194 00:07:58,253 --> 00:08:00,586 And--and complicated and funny. 195 00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:02,927 An everyman confronting his wife's cancer 196 00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:05,967 and life's indignities with so much heart and humor. 197 00:08:06,096 --> 00:08:07,982 I-- Every time I sit down and read your blog, 198 00:08:08,065 --> 00:08:10,334 I never know if I'm gonna be laughing or crying. 199 00:08:10,435 --> 00:08:12,290 You should stay for the talk tonight. 200 00:08:12,372 --> 00:08:14,609 - We can get Rita some vip seats-- - Oh, no, no, no, no. 201 00:08:14,707 --> 00:08:16,497 I gotta get back to the set before Marty has a breakdown. 202 00:08:16,577 --> 00:08:18,783 But joy and I have dinner reservations tomorrow, 203 00:08:18,878 --> 00:08:19,901 and you're coming with us. 204 00:08:19,947 --> 00:08:21,704 I am? That sounds amazing. 205 00:08:21,782 --> 00:08:22,964 I'll check with my wife. 206 00:08:23,017 --> 00:08:24,296 No, you're not gonna turn me down, Paul. 207 00:08:24,353 --> 00:08:25,631 Nobody turns me down. 208 00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:27,126 Halle Berry tried to turn me down once. 209 00:08:27,191 --> 00:08:28,565 You know what I told her? I said, 210 00:08:28,626 --> 00:08:30,128 "Fuck you, Halle! You're having dinner with me." 211 00:08:30,194 --> 00:08:31,536 She had grilled salmon and loved it. 212 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:33,225 - True story. - Do you like Sherry, Paul? 213 00:08:33,298 --> 00:08:34,768 I'm not really a Sherry guy. 214 00:08:34,834 --> 00:08:36,336 We're gonna have dinner and drink a shitload of Sherry. 215 00:08:36,402 --> 00:08:38,545 And you're gonna tell me more about your life, your death, 216 00:08:38,638 --> 00:08:40,043 your life after your death. I'm hooked! 217 00:08:40,107 --> 00:08:41,865 And I'm paying! You're coming. 218 00:08:41,942 --> 00:08:44,147 - Bring the missus. - Well, I-- 219 00:08:44,245 --> 00:08:46,003 - We love that! - I like her. 220 00:08:46,081 --> 00:08:47,967 Bring her too. I'll see you at dinner. 221 00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:54,419 - You inscrutable little boob! - It's no big deal. 222 00:08:54,558 --> 00:08:56,540 Do I have to remind you about the hooker and the crabs 223 00:08:56,627 --> 00:08:59,312 and the-- the shit storm you started last time 224 00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:00,741 you unleashed your pecker on the world? 225 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,013 Hold it, Sean. It's not like that. 226 00:09:02,067 --> 00:09:03,569 I really like this girl. 227 00:09:03,635 --> 00:09:05,681 It's-- We're just taking it slow. 228 00:09:05,771 --> 00:09:07,241 Slow is kissing. 229 00:09:07,306 --> 00:09:09,255 Or, if you're my client Doug, 230 00:09:09,342 --> 00:09:11,804 lightly dragging your scrotum across your partner's face. 231 00:09:11,911 --> 00:09:13,765 Not what you were just doing. 232 00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:16,532 Please tell me that you were at least using protection. 233 00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:18,951 What for? We're not even having sex. 234 00:09:19,052 --> 00:09:21,097 Jesse is saving herself. 235 00:09:21,188 --> 00:09:23,522 So we're just doing it in the butt. 236 00:09:23,625 --> 00:09:25,415 Great! 237 00:09:25,494 --> 00:09:27,284 Do you know how many butt-borne diseases 238 00:09:27,363 --> 00:09:28,609 there are out there? 239 00:09:28,665 --> 00:09:30,262 You better be wrapping that Johnson, mister. 240 00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:32,475 And if that girl thinks she's not having sex, 241 00:09:32,569 --> 00:09:33,974 she's off her fucking nut. 242 00:09:34,037 --> 00:09:35,890 Butt sex is the real deal. 243 00:09:35,971 --> 00:09:38,272 There's a reason they don't call it butt not-sex. 244 00:09:38,374 --> 00:09:39,652 It's our business. 245 00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,083 She's okay with it. 246 00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:42,807 Look, bottom line, pun intended, 247 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:44,350 if she's saving the bush, 248 00:09:44,416 --> 00:09:46,526 don't touch the tush! 249 00:09:48,987 --> 00:09:50,425 [Sighs] 250 00:09:50,489 --> 00:09:52,375 Not only is the window gonna give you more light, 251 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,409 but you're gonna get more heat in the winter 252 00:09:54,495 --> 00:09:57,277 and then you just get more ventilation come summer. 253 00:09:57,398 --> 00:09:59,285 Look at that, you put the crib right over here, 254 00:09:59,368 --> 00:10:01,381 and you can rock her to sleep right over there. 255 00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:04,572 That is, assuming she's a girl. 256 00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:06,338 Shit. 257 00:10:06,410 --> 00:10:07,976 Did you want to know what the sex was? 258 00:10:08,045 --> 00:10:11,019 'Cause I may have accidentally just told you. 259 00:10:11,150 --> 00:10:12,204 Heh. 260 00:10:12,251 --> 00:10:14,106 It's a girl? 261 00:10:14,189 --> 00:10:17,099 Yeah. She's gonna love her room. 262 00:10:17,226 --> 00:10:20,807 Ha! 263 00:10:25,501 --> 00:10:30,171 [Machine gunfire on tv] 264 00:10:32,075 --> 00:10:33,642 Oh, you're home! 265 00:10:33,711 --> 00:10:35,086 - Hi, honey. - Hi. 266 00:10:35,145 --> 00:10:36,231 What are you watching? 267 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:39,221 Oh, no. Oh, how did your talk go? 268 00:10:39,350 --> 00:10:42,419 You only watch violent movies when you're upset. 269 00:10:42,553 --> 00:10:44,055 [Tv beeps off] 270 00:10:44,122 --> 00:10:46,359 Au contraire, Cath. I killed in Duluth. 271 00:10:46,457 --> 00:10:49,559 I am having a Rita Strauss film festival 272 00:10:49,696 --> 00:10:51,869 as part of my extensive preparation 273 00:10:51,964 --> 00:10:55,290 for my upcoming dinner with Rita Strauss. 274 00:10:55,436 --> 00:10:57,162 Who's Rita Strauss? 275 00:10:57,238 --> 00:10:59,156 Oh, man, she's a big Hollywood film producer. 276 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,277 Had a whole really gnarly war movie phase in the '80s. 277 00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:03,688 Fucking brutal stuff. 278 00:11:03,745 --> 00:11:06,143 And get this. She reads my blog. 279 00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,782 Called me an everyman. 280 00:11:07,851 --> 00:11:09,481 Isn't that cool? 281 00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:11,376 Want to know something even cooler? 282 00:11:11,457 --> 00:11:12,671 What? 283 00:11:12,724 --> 00:11:15,058 Everyman's gonna have a baby daughter. 284 00:11:15,161 --> 00:11:16,599 What? 285 00:11:16,663 --> 00:11:18,293 [Laughs] 286 00:11:18,365 --> 00:11:20,666 We have a little girl? 287 00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,205 Oh, my God. 288 00:11:22,270 --> 00:11:23,420 Oh, wait, wait. 289 00:11:23,471 --> 00:11:25,676 I've been waiting... 290 00:11:25,774 --> 00:11:26,956 To open this with you. 291 00:11:27,008 --> 00:11:29,054 It's Maxine's pregnancy file. 292 00:11:32,747 --> 00:11:34,922 She's beautiful. 293 00:11:35,016 --> 00:11:37,671 Oh. 294 00:11:37,788 --> 00:11:39,897 What if we hire Dave... 295 00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:42,196 To put a window in the nursery? 296 00:11:42,292 --> 00:11:44,786 He said he could do it really fast. 297 00:11:44,897 --> 00:11:46,047 He sketched it all out. 298 00:11:46,098 --> 00:11:48,176 It would be so nice for the baby. 299 00:11:48,267 --> 00:11:49,673 A window, honey? 300 00:11:49,737 --> 00:11:51,111 I mean, but we don't even have a baby yet. 301 00:11:51,171 --> 00:11:54,689 Why don't we wait till the baby gets here? 302 00:11:54,843 --> 00:11:57,209 She's right here, Paul. 303 00:11:57,313 --> 00:12:00,032 Things are happening fast, and we have to be ready. 304 00:12:00,151 --> 00:12:02,260 In fact, we have to get our paperwork organized 305 00:12:02,353 --> 00:12:05,551 for our meeting with the adoption lawyer tonight. 306 00:12:05,691 --> 00:12:07,001 Paul, what? What is it? 307 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,401 I told Rita Strauss 308 00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:09,770 that we'd have dinner with her tonight 309 00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,427 because she's only in town for one weekend. 310 00:12:11,499 --> 00:12:13,768 Paul, that lawyer was doing us a favor 311 00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:17,258 by squeezing us in this weekend. 312 00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:19,804 That was an important meeting. 313 00:12:19,908 --> 00:12:21,282 Which is why we're still gonna have it. 314 00:12:21,344 --> 00:12:23,293 Honey, this dinner's gonna be a lot of fun. 315 00:12:23,380 --> 00:12:25,010 It's gonna be you and me and Joy and-- 316 00:12:25,082 --> 00:12:26,807 And Rita Strauss and Ababuo. 317 00:12:26,883 --> 00:12:28,257 I bought a jacket. 318 00:12:28,318 --> 00:12:30,812 I bought a special jacket just for the dinner. 319 00:12:30,921 --> 00:12:33,224 But you know what, sweetie? 320 00:12:33,325 --> 00:12:34,826 I will do whatever you want. 321 00:12:34,893 --> 00:12:36,843 I will totally frickin' cancel it. 322 00:12:36,929 --> 00:12:38,495 You want me to cancel it? I'm not kidding. 323 00:12:38,563 --> 00:12:39,809 She's probably got a private jet. 324 00:12:39,865 --> 00:12:41,783 She can come back whenever she wants. 325 00:12:41,868 --> 00:12:43,658 No, no. 326 00:12:43,737 --> 00:12:45,494 We'll go. 327 00:12:45,573 --> 00:12:47,299 Oh, thanks, 'cause I didn't really know her number. 328 00:12:47,374 --> 00:12:50,796 I was fake dialing it. 329 00:12:50,946 --> 00:12:53,215 - [On radio] Construction on I-94 has shut down 330 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:55,425 the two left lanes in both directions 331 00:12:55,518 --> 00:12:58,268 and caused quite a gridlock in the Twin Cities. 332 00:12:58,388 --> 00:12:59,825 You might want to take surface streets-- 333 00:12:59,889 --> 00:13:03,280 Hey, Kirby? 334 00:13:03,429 --> 00:13:06,338 Northbound I-35 is moving slowly. 335 00:13:06,465 --> 00:13:09,375 Cars averaging 5 to 10 miles per hour. 336 00:13:09,503 --> 00:13:11,357 It's not looking much better southbound, 337 00:13:11,439 --> 00:13:13,325 thanks to an overturned big rig-- 338 00:13:13,408 --> 00:13:15,198 Can I have a pint of, uh... 339 00:13:15,277 --> 00:13:17,323 I don't know, something good? 340 00:13:17,414 --> 00:13:20,099 I don't actually work here. 341 00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,904 - I just was the-- the traffic report 342 00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:25,481 was a buzz kill, and the bartender's in the loo. 343 00:13:25,589 --> 00:13:27,571 - Ah. - But I do, I recommend 344 00:13:27,659 --> 00:13:28,808 the Fuller's London pride. 345 00:13:28,860 --> 00:13:30,074 Tastes like butterfinger. 346 00:13:30,128 --> 00:13:32,334 Well, then, uh, I'll take two. 347 00:13:32,431 --> 00:13:36,684 On the condition you join me for one, uh... 348 00:13:36,869 --> 00:13:39,331 - Alexis. - Peter. 349 00:13:39,439 --> 00:13:40,621 Nice to meet you. 350 00:13:40,674 --> 00:13:43,713 Thanks for the offer, Peter, but... 351 00:13:43,845 --> 00:13:45,218 I'm seeing someone. 352 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,326 Lucky guy. 353 00:13:47,416 --> 00:13:49,845 Yeah, well... We'll see how it goes. 354 00:13:49,952 --> 00:13:51,519 It's new. 355 00:13:51,588 --> 00:13:53,825 He's a contractor. 356 00:13:53,925 --> 00:13:55,875 The sexy thing about him, 357 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,838 he can look at a plain ol' house 358 00:13:58,965 --> 00:14:00,883 and see how amazing it could be 359 00:14:00,968 --> 00:14:02,310 with just a little work. 360 00:14:02,369 --> 00:14:04,766 - Hmm. - I've dated so many man-boys. 361 00:14:04,872 --> 00:14:06,278 They talk a good game, 362 00:14:06,340 --> 00:14:07,906 but they don't want to put the fucking work in. 363 00:14:07,976 --> 00:14:10,117 This time in my life... 364 00:14:10,211 --> 00:14:13,472 I'm looking for less talk and more action. 365 00:14:13,615 --> 00:14:15,277 Shit, that is good. 366 00:14:15,350 --> 00:14:17,395 Yeah, don't forget to tip your server. 367 00:14:17,485 --> 00:14:18,923 Oh. 368 00:14:18,987 --> 00:14:23,785 Uh, if things don't work out with your contractor guy, 369 00:14:23,994 --> 00:14:25,593 give me a call. 370 00:14:25,663 --> 00:14:28,445 What's it gonna take for you to come around? 371 00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,126 what's it gonna make now? 372 00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:35,364 what's it gonna take for you to turn around? 373 00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:36,917 Cheers. 374 00:14:36,979 --> 00:14:38,769 [Man on speakerphone] I like squeezing 375 00:14:38,848 --> 00:14:40,637 those perky nipples of yours. 376 00:14:40,717 --> 00:14:41,867 Wow, that's hot. 377 00:14:41,918 --> 00:14:43,612 That is really hot. 378 00:14:43,687 --> 00:14:45,445 I'm licking your nipples, Willy. 379 00:14:45,523 --> 00:14:46,704 I'm sucking on them. 380 00:14:46,757 --> 00:14:47,715 [Door slams] 381 00:14:47,759 --> 00:14:49,197 You like that, Willy, huh? 382 00:14:49,261 --> 00:14:51,019 Uh, no! No, not you, Tim. 383 00:14:51,096 --> 00:14:52,597 I like it. Get out! 384 00:14:52,664 --> 00:14:53,942 Not you, Tim. Stay there. 385 00:14:53,999 --> 00:14:55,148 I'm gonna bite down on those nipples 386 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,606 like hairy little gummi bears. 387 00:14:56,668 --> 00:14:57,978 Oh, that's nasty! 388 00:14:58,037 --> 00:14:58,995 What? 389 00:14:59,038 --> 00:15:00,283 You-- you don't like that? 390 00:15:00,339 --> 00:15:01,426 No, I-- 391 00:15:01,474 --> 00:15:04,352 oh... Son of a dick! 392 00:15:04,478 --> 00:15:07,131 - Are you okay, Willy? - No! 393 00:15:07,248 --> 00:15:10,159 I'm trying to-- I'm trying to make pizza from scratch, 394 00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:13,931 and it's a pain in my ass. 395 00:15:14,090 --> 00:15:15,271 It's my... 396 00:15:15,324 --> 00:15:17,755 My sex maniac nephew's favorite, 397 00:15:17,862 --> 00:15:19,332 and if I don't make his favorite fucking food, 398 00:15:19,398 --> 00:15:21,987 he gets all moody. 399 00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:24,787 You know... I wanted him to taste real food 400 00:15:24,905 --> 00:15:26,375 that isn't a fucking biohazard 401 00:15:26,441 --> 00:15:28,327 just once in his life. 402 00:15:28,410 --> 00:15:30,904 [Sighs] 403 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:32,932 Wow, Tim, I'm--- 404 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,998 I'm sorry for my professional lapse. 405 00:15:35,084 --> 00:15:37,483 I believe you were sucking on my nipples? 406 00:15:37,589 --> 00:15:38,867 You're making pizza? 407 00:15:38,924 --> 00:15:40,202 Mm. 408 00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:42,241 I'm from New York. Pizza's my religion. 409 00:15:42,327 --> 00:15:43,637 [Chuckles] 410 00:15:43,696 --> 00:15:44,462 Talk me through what you're doing. 411 00:15:44,498 --> 00:15:45,839 I can help. 412 00:15:45,898 --> 00:15:47,944 - Really? - Trust me. 413 00:15:48,033 --> 00:15:49,951 Your nephew's gonna go nuts. 414 00:15:54,439 --> 00:15:57,381 - So, uh, you're from New York? - Mm-hmm. 415 00:15:57,510 --> 00:15:59,748 - What part? - Well, I grew up in Brooklyn. 416 00:16:02,248 --> 00:16:04,039 Hey, sis. 417 00:16:04,118 --> 00:16:06,484 Whoa, you look shiny. 418 00:16:06,588 --> 00:16:09,145 We're having dinner with a real Hollywood producer. 419 00:16:09,258 --> 00:16:10,856 - Paul met her-- - I don't really give a shit. 420 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,204 I need to borrow a pair of Paul's socks 421 00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:13,892 for a client meeting. 422 00:16:13,964 --> 00:16:16,361 Adam tried to do our laundry, and now all my socks 423 00:16:16,466 --> 00:16:17,776 are pink and size two. 424 00:16:17,835 --> 00:16:19,305 Okay, wait a minute. I'm confused. 425 00:16:19,371 --> 00:16:21,512 You're-- you're meeting a client in person. 426 00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:22,883 - Uh-huh. - Does this mean 427 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,954 you're a male prostitute now? 428 00:16:25,044 --> 00:16:26,578 Jesus, Cathy. 429 00:16:26,646 --> 00:16:28,212 I just gotta get out of the house 430 00:16:28,281 --> 00:16:31,350 and have a drink with somebody who isn't 16 years old. 431 00:16:31,485 --> 00:16:34,555 Tim... happens to be an excellent conversationalist 432 00:16:34,688 --> 00:16:36,223 with whom I have a lot in common. 433 00:16:36,292 --> 00:16:38,561 Well, this is really new territory for me. 434 00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:39,939 You know, I've never been "Sean" 435 00:16:39,996 --> 00:16:42,106 with any of my gentlemen callers before. 436 00:16:42,199 --> 00:16:43,670 You think he'll like me? 437 00:16:43,735 --> 00:16:46,580 If he liked Willy Wanker, how high can the bar be? 438 00:16:46,704 --> 00:16:48,590 Cathy, I've read your husband's blog. 439 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:50,144 I feel like I know you already. 440 00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:52,414 Oh, it is so wonderful to meet you. 441 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,718 I-- I don't really follow the movie industry, 442 00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,348 but I googled you, and... 443 00:16:56,417 --> 00:16:58,590 You produced two of my favorite movies last year. 444 00:16:58,686 --> 00:16:59,932 - Well... - You're responsible for 445 00:16:59,988 --> 00:17:01,843 a lot of tears being shed in my family. 446 00:17:01,923 --> 00:17:03,169 Mostly by me. 447 00:17:03,225 --> 00:17:05,430 [Laughter] Rita's a fucking genius. 448 00:17:05,528 --> 00:17:06,774 - [Laughing] Well... - Well, heh. 449 00:17:06,829 --> 00:17:08,140 Well, I'm not a fucking genius. 450 00:17:08,199 --> 00:17:09,668 I'm just a fucking high school teacher. 451 00:17:09,734 --> 00:17:12,260 [Laughs loudly] 452 00:17:12,371 --> 00:17:15,408 You did not tell me she was so funny. 453 00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:17,938 Oh, yeah, you'd be surprised by this lady. 454 00:17:18,044 --> 00:17:19,546 She's dynamite. 455 00:17:19,613 --> 00:17:20,859 Well, I just have to say, for the record, 456 00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,480 that I think schoolteachers 457 00:17:22,549 --> 00:17:24,146 are the real fucking heroes of this country. 458 00:17:24,218 --> 00:17:26,425 - Hear, hear. - I will drink to that. 459 00:17:26,522 --> 00:17:28,344 Oh, good, good. Have some Sherry. 460 00:17:28,425 --> 00:17:29,863 No, thank you. 461 00:17:29,927 --> 00:17:31,461 I cannot get your story out of my head, Paul. 462 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:32,998 I re-read your blog last night. 463 00:17:33,065 --> 00:17:34,502 - All of it? - Riveting, right? 464 00:17:34,565 --> 00:17:36,068 Beyond. 465 00:17:36,135 --> 00:17:37,957 Have you ever thought about selling your life rights? 466 00:17:38,038 --> 00:17:39,379 Excuse me? 467 00:17:39,439 --> 00:17:41,805 I want to make a movie based on your life. 468 00:17:46,746 --> 00:17:48,217 Holy shit. 469 00:17:48,283 --> 00:17:49,528 I could put this project together in a heartbeat. 470 00:17:49,583 --> 00:17:51,981 DiCaprio is looking for a true life story to star in. 471 00:17:52,087 --> 00:17:54,677 He wants to play a regular, honest, everyday guy. 472 00:17:54,791 --> 00:17:56,164 I talked to him about it this morning. 473 00:17:56,225 --> 00:17:59,423 He love the idea. Loves. 474 00:17:59,563 --> 00:18:00,713 [Chuckling] 475 00:18:00,764 --> 00:18:01,945 This is unbelievable. 476 00:18:01,999 --> 00:18:03,469 That's terrific, honey. 477 00:18:03,534 --> 00:18:05,227 And I'm flying to Vegas with Sandy next week, 478 00:18:05,302 --> 00:18:07,508 so I'll float this by her. 479 00:18:07,605 --> 00:18:08,915 Who's Sandy? 480 00:18:08,974 --> 00:18:10,219 Bullock. Sandy Bullock. 481 00:18:10,274 --> 00:18:12,192 She's a little chatty, but she's a real peach. 482 00:18:12,277 --> 00:18:13,459 - Shit. - And I think this material's 483 00:18:13,512 --> 00:18:14,854 really gonna resonate with her. 484 00:18:14,913 --> 00:18:16,576 I mean, who doesn't want to play DiCaprio's wife? 485 00:18:16,650 --> 00:18:19,079 I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers. 486 00:18:19,186 --> 00:18:20,879 Actually, I did. 487 00:18:20,953 --> 00:18:23,671 [Forced laugh] I-- I'm sorry, are you-- 488 00:18:23,791 --> 00:18:25,933 You're gonna-- You're gonna ask Sandra Bullock 489 00:18:26,027 --> 00:18:27,240 to play me? 490 00:18:27,295 --> 00:18:28,285 Who's asking? She'll do it. 491 00:18:28,330 --> 00:18:29,736 She owes me-- I gave her a fucking horse 492 00:18:29,798 --> 00:18:31,268 when she moved down to her ranch. 493 00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:33,698 Ha! [Laughing] 494 00:18:33,803 --> 00:18:36,681 Hey, who's gonna play Mr. Jamison's fly assistant, 495 00:18:36,806 --> 00:18:38,564 because I have some ideas. 496 00:18:38,642 --> 00:18:39,761 Beyonce, 497 00:18:39,810 --> 00:18:41,728 Queen Latifah, and Meryl Streep 498 00:18:41,812 --> 00:18:44,146 'cause that bitch can play anybody. 499 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,679 [Laughs loudly] 500 00:18:46,786 --> 00:18:47,744 I love you. 501 00:18:47,787 --> 00:18:49,641 [Laughing] 502 00:18:49,724 --> 00:18:51,962 And you just never know 503 00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:54,394 which callers are gonna be old-fashioned romantics 504 00:18:54,497 --> 00:18:56,735 and which ones are gonna like wearing diapers 505 00:18:56,833 --> 00:18:58,270 and getting spanked. [Laughs] 506 00:18:58,334 --> 00:18:59,484 It's all good. 507 00:18:59,536 --> 00:19:00,783 Speaking as a psychotherapist, 508 00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:02,691 I can relate to freaky clients. 509 00:19:02,773 --> 00:19:05,234 Hmm. Speaking as a psychotherapist, 510 00:19:05,342 --> 00:19:06,588 can you tell I'm medicated? 511 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:08,754 No, but if this is you on meds, 512 00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:09,804 I think you made a good choice. 513 00:19:09,847 --> 00:19:11,861 Oh, yeah? 514 00:19:11,949 --> 00:19:13,899 Tell me about your choice. 515 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,959 You know, calling a gay phone sex line. 516 00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:18,334 What about it? 517 00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:20,116 I'm honest with myself. 518 00:19:20,192 --> 00:19:24,510 I know what my needs are, and I know how to get them met. 519 00:19:24,698 --> 00:19:26,615 I like you, doctor. 520 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,002 How 'bout another round? 521 00:19:29,103 --> 00:19:32,652 Sure. 522 00:19:35,811 --> 00:19:38,402 Um, Tim, you seem really great. 523 00:19:38,515 --> 00:19:42,513 Um, so I'm just gonna come out and say this. 524 00:19:42,687 --> 00:19:43,837 In real life, 525 00:19:43,889 --> 00:19:45,487 I'm straight. 526 00:19:45,558 --> 00:19:47,796 Why did you feel the need to tell me that? 527 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,557 You know, I just didn't want there to be any... 528 00:19:49,630 --> 00:19:50,875 Misunderstandings. 529 00:19:50,931 --> 00:19:52,817 Sean, it's fine. 530 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:56,099 This isn't a date. 531 00:19:56,239 --> 00:19:58,060 It's beer. 532 00:19:58,140 --> 00:19:59,962 Well, here's to beer. 533 00:20:00,043 --> 00:20:01,480 Who wants some more Sherry? 534 00:20:01,544 --> 00:20:04,359 - Oh. - This stuff is amazing. 535 00:20:04,481 --> 00:20:06,302 You know, I don't think I've ever really 536 00:20:06,383 --> 00:20:08,046 appreciated the virtues of a good fortified-- 537 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,366 Whoops-- Wine. 538 00:20:09,421 --> 00:20:11,211 Mm, Cathy... 539 00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:13,111 I'm gonna want to get you together with Sandy. 540 00:20:13,192 --> 00:20:15,014 She's very method. She's gonna want to study you 541 00:20:15,094 --> 00:20:16,372 and your mannerisms. 542 00:20:16,430 --> 00:20:17,932 You gals can go have a spa day together. 543 00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:19,053 Get to know each other. 544 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:20,474 - Whoa. - It would be... 545 00:20:20,535 --> 00:20:22,357 An honor to have such a talented actress, 546 00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:24,963 you know, deal with my son's second-grade chicken pox, 547 00:20:25,074 --> 00:20:28,337 and Paul's Memorial Day '97 rugby concussion, 548 00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:30,652 and my brother trying to swim down the Mississippi naked. 549 00:20:30,748 --> 00:20:32,251 Very high drama. 550 00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:35,772 Those moments are gonna make her last words so poignant. 551 00:20:35,923 --> 00:20:37,905 Sandy's told me a million times, she said, 552 00:20:37,993 --> 00:20:39,142 "I've never done a death scene." 553 00:20:39,194 --> 00:20:40,856 [Laughing] "I'm dying to die." 554 00:20:40,929 --> 00:20:42,047 - Is that true? - It is. 555 00:20:42,097 --> 00:20:44,879 Wow. 556 00:20:45,001 --> 00:20:48,198 Excuse me? 557 00:20:48,338 --> 00:20:51,471 The final moment is going to be so powerful. 558 00:20:51,608 --> 00:20:53,430 But she's not dead. 559 00:20:53,510 --> 00:20:55,555 Oh, honey, it's called dramatic license. 560 00:20:55,646 --> 00:20:57,404 Plus, we all know there isn't a cure for this. 561 00:20:57,482 --> 00:20:59,464 Oh, well, thank you, Dr. Rita. 562 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:00,957 You know, with all due respect, 563 00:21:01,019 --> 00:21:02,265 I should be your research. 564 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,109 I am far from dead. 565 00:21:04,189 --> 00:21:06,203 Cathy's in a clinical trial. 566 00:21:06,292 --> 00:21:07,761 And they're looking for a cure. 567 00:21:07,826 --> 00:21:10,095 And she's good. It's gonna be good. 568 00:21:10,195 --> 00:21:11,857 Yeah, but the movie has to end somehow. 569 00:21:11,930 --> 00:21:13,815 This is Hollywood, guys. That's the way it works. 570 00:21:13,899 --> 00:21:15,433 She really have to die? 571 00:21:15,501 --> 00:21:17,003 [Scoffs] People like happy endings. 572 00:21:17,070 --> 00:21:18,476 That's why they go to the movies, right? 573 00:21:18,538 --> 00:21:21,927 Terms of Endearment, Titanic, Gladiator. 574 00:21:22,076 --> 00:21:23,482 Common denominator, death. 575 00:21:23,544 --> 00:21:25,462 And huge box office. 576 00:21:25,547 --> 00:21:27,432 Oh, I'm sorry, but my life is-- 577 00:21:27,515 --> 00:21:29,081 Is not for you to twist around 578 00:21:29,151 --> 00:21:31,101 to make a buck or win an award. 579 00:21:31,188 --> 00:21:33,586 Cathy, let's try to find the joy in this. 580 00:21:33,690 --> 00:21:35,607 Okay, you can take your joy, and you can shove it. 581 00:21:35,692 --> 00:21:38,282 And you, you can kill somebody else off in a movie. 582 00:21:38,396 --> 00:21:41,369 [Receding footsteps] 583 00:21:48,072 --> 00:21:49,607 [Whispering] Honey. Honey, honey. 584 00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:51,465 That woman wants to kill me! 585 00:21:51,543 --> 00:21:52,725 Honey, to be fair, 586 00:21:52,778 --> 00:21:54,983 she wants to kill Sandra Bullock-- Sandy. 587 00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:56,870 And if we let her, 588 00:21:56,948 --> 00:21:58,418 the real Cathy Jamison 589 00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:00,435 is gonna be rollin' in the dough. 590 00:22:00,521 --> 00:22:01,991 The issue is not the money here, Paul. 591 00:22:02,057 --> 00:22:04,742 The issue is my future, which I happen to believe in. 592 00:22:04,859 --> 00:22:07,418 I don't want them making a movie about my dying 593 00:22:07,531 --> 00:22:08,873 while I'm trying to stay alive. 594 00:22:08,933 --> 00:22:10,787 Every time someone sees it, I'll die. 595 00:22:10,868 --> 00:22:12,211 Get them to change the names! 596 00:22:12,271 --> 00:22:14,445 When I do die, it's gonna be once. 597 00:22:14,540 --> 00:22:15,690 And it's not gonna be in front of the whole world 598 00:22:15,742 --> 00:22:16,732 with everyone saying, "oh, 599 00:22:16,777 --> 00:22:18,631 she died so much better in the movie." 600 00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:20,150 Honey, this project 601 00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:22,484 could make a really big difference for us. 602 00:22:22,584 --> 00:22:24,022 I mean, what's the big deal? 603 00:22:24,086 --> 00:22:25,300 They just want to use our family 604 00:22:25,354 --> 00:22:26,600 as, like, a jumping off point. 605 00:22:26,656 --> 00:22:28,958 We're the trampoline. We're just a big trampoline. 606 00:22:29,059 --> 00:22:30,752 It's not just about our lives, Paul. 607 00:22:30,827 --> 00:22:32,361 It's our son's. 608 00:22:32,430 --> 00:22:33,995 And our daughter's! Have you forgotten? 609 00:22:34,065 --> 00:22:35,534 We're adopting a baby! 610 00:22:35,599 --> 00:22:37,038 Well, why do you think I want to do this so badly, honey? 611 00:22:37,102 --> 00:22:38,924 Our family's the reason for everything that I do. 612 00:22:39,003 --> 00:22:40,057 Then why are you dragging your feet 613 00:22:40,105 --> 00:22:41,255 to see the adoption lawyer? 614 00:22:41,307 --> 00:22:42,744 Oh, I know. Oh, I know, I know. 615 00:22:42,808 --> 00:22:44,854 I know... You've been really busy. 616 00:22:44,944 --> 00:22:46,382 And yet, somehow, you found the time 617 00:22:46,446 --> 00:22:48,652 to buy that new jacket to impress your new a-list friends. 618 00:22:48,749 --> 00:22:50,251 And yet, you have the nerve to tell me 619 00:22:50,318 --> 00:22:51,851 not to spend money on a nursery 620 00:22:51,919 --> 00:22:54,060 for a baby that's already on the way? 621 00:22:54,154 --> 00:22:56,264 Do you even want this baby, Paul? 622 00:22:56,357 --> 00:22:59,012 What? 623 00:22:59,129 --> 00:23:00,214 Honey, yes. 624 00:23:00,262 --> 00:23:02,212 I have a lot going on right now. 625 00:23:02,299 --> 00:23:03,577 Yeah, the timing kind of sucks. 626 00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:05,680 And maybe, in a perfect world, 627 00:23:05,770 --> 00:23:08,999 no, we wouldn't be having a baby right now. 628 00:23:09,140 --> 00:23:11,186 I want this baby, Paul! 629 00:23:12,679 --> 00:23:16,133 I'm gonna take a cab home. 630 00:23:26,294 --> 00:23:27,445 [Chuckles] 631 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,407 Wait. 632 00:23:32,470 --> 00:23:34,419 Jesse, look, I don't want to make you feel 633 00:23:34,506 --> 00:23:35,431 like you have to do things with me 634 00:23:35,472 --> 00:23:36,846 in order for me to like you. 635 00:23:36,908 --> 00:23:39,562 [Scoffs] I don't feel like I have to do anything. 636 00:23:39,677 --> 00:23:41,532 I only do what I want. 637 00:23:41,614 --> 00:23:43,500 Yeah, but, look, I know you're saving yourself, 638 00:23:43,583 --> 00:23:46,588 and that makes me want to save myself too. 639 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,630 But my uncle says the stuff we're doing is sex. 640 00:23:49,757 --> 00:23:51,579 No, it's not. 641 00:23:51,660 --> 00:23:53,962 Sex is for procreation between married people. 642 00:23:54,064 --> 00:23:55,663 We're not procreating. 643 00:23:55,733 --> 00:23:57,746 Yeah, but if we were two dudes doing the same thing, 644 00:23:57,835 --> 00:23:59,018 wouldn't we be going to hell? 645 00:23:59,071 --> 00:24:01,596 Do I look like a dude to you? 646 00:24:01,707 --> 00:24:03,849 Look, when I'm unsure about something, 647 00:24:03,944 --> 00:24:07,590 I pray to God for guidance. 648 00:24:11,018 --> 00:24:12,968 [Chuckles] 649 00:24:17,794 --> 00:24:20,128 Dear lord... 650 00:24:20,231 --> 00:24:22,693 Please grant us the wisdom to make righteous choices 651 00:24:22,801 --> 00:24:26,094 and stay on the path of virtue. 652 00:24:26,237 --> 00:24:29,946 Teach us to... love each other 653 00:24:30,109 --> 00:24:31,899 in a way that... 654 00:24:31,978 --> 00:24:34,567 glorifies your name. 655 00:24:42,955 --> 00:24:44,074 I guess it'd be kind of weird 656 00:24:44,124 --> 00:24:46,011 for me to call Willy wanker now. 657 00:24:46,094 --> 00:24:48,140 Oh, we can grab a beer again sometime. 658 00:24:48,230 --> 00:24:49,699 Beer isn't weird. 659 00:24:49,765 --> 00:24:52,035 Unless it's light, non-alcoholic, or amish. 660 00:24:52,134 --> 00:24:53,572 What if it's wine? 661 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:57,550 Cheers. 662 00:24:57,607 --> 00:24:58,821 Cheers. 663 00:24:58,877 --> 00:25:01,211 This is, uh, this is a nice pad, Tim. 664 00:25:01,313 --> 00:25:03,776 Not nearly as shrinky as I expected. 665 00:25:03,884 --> 00:25:07,018 And yet I feel an overwhelming sense of mental well-being. 666 00:25:07,155 --> 00:25:09,681 And I won't even kick you out after 50 minutes. 667 00:25:09,792 --> 00:25:12,479 [Both chuckle] 668 00:25:12,597 --> 00:25:13,875 You got... 669 00:25:13,932 --> 00:25:15,529 Oh. 670 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:18,927 [Clears throat] 671 00:25:19,072 --> 00:25:20,733 Um, no, Tim... 672 00:25:20,806 --> 00:25:22,884 Um... Uh, Tim... 673 00:25:22,976 --> 00:25:24,094 Hmm? 674 00:25:24,144 --> 00:25:25,614 Mm... Yeah. 675 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,046 [Whispers] Holy fuck. 676 00:25:28,150 --> 00:25:29,427 Wha-- 677 00:25:29,484 --> 00:25:30,985 Where did you come from? 678 00:25:31,051 --> 00:25:32,393 This must be Sean. 679 00:25:32,454 --> 00:25:33,764 Yeah. 680 00:25:33,821 --> 00:25:34,971 Um... 681 00:25:35,022 --> 00:25:36,684 Wh-who are you? 682 00:25:36,758 --> 00:25:40,532 This is Giselle, my wife. 683 00:25:40,697 --> 00:25:44,151 I like your beard. 684 00:25:44,302 --> 00:25:47,340 I like yours too. 685 00:25:50,743 --> 00:25:52,726 Mmm. 686 00:25:52,813 --> 00:25:54,283 Mm, mm. 687 00:25:54,349 --> 00:25:56,747 Mmm. 688 00:25:58,353 --> 00:26:01,839 Hmm. 689 00:26:01,992 --> 00:26:06,501 I'll be upstairs. 690 00:26:06,697 --> 00:26:09,702 So... 691 00:26:09,834 --> 00:26:11,784 You wanna come upstairs? 692 00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:22,956 [Ida Maria's Oh My God] 693 00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:30,697 694 00:26:31,026 --> 00:26:34,064 find a cure, find a cure for my life 695 00:26:55,706 --> 00:26:58,327 find a cure, find a cure for my life 696 00:26:58,328 --> 00:27:01,174 find a cure, find a cure for my life 697 00:27:01,175 --> 00:27:03,797 find a cure, find a cure for my life 698 00:27:03,798 --> 00:27:06,675 oh, my God, oh, you think I'm in control 699 00:27:06,676 --> 00:27:09,203 oh, my God, oh, you think it's all for fun 700 00:27:09,204 --> 00:27:12,113 oh, my God, oh, you think I'm in control 701 00:27:12,114 --> 00:27:14,640 oh, my God, oh, you think it's all for fun 702 00:27:14,641 --> 00:27:20,045 find a cure, find a cure for my life 703 00:27:20,046 --> 00:27:23,084 put a price, put a price on my soul 704 00:27:23,085 --> 00:27:25,643 put a price, put a price on my soul 705 00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:29,801 build a wall, build a fortress round my heart 706 00:27:29,802 --> 00:27:33,768 oh, my God, oh, you think I'm in control 707 00:27:33,769 --> 00:27:36,360 oh, my God, oh, you think it's all for fun 708 00:27:36,361 --> 00:27:38,982 oh, my God, oh, you think I'm in control 709 00:27:38,983 --> 00:27:42,085 oh, my God, oh, you think it's all for fun 710 00:27:42,086 --> 00:27:45,668 oh, my God, oh, you think I'm in control 711 00:27:45,669 --> 00:27:48,354 oh, my God, oh, you think it's all for fun 712 00:27:48,355 --> 00:27:51,104 oh, my God, oh, you think I'm in control 713 00:27:51,105 --> 00:27:54,526 oh, my God, oh, you think it's all for fun 714 00:27:54,527 --> 00:27:57,905 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 715 00:27:57,955 --> 00:28:02,505 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 50581

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.