All language subtitles for The Big C s02e10 How Do You Feel.eng

Hey!

Hey. You gonna hit me
with your car again?

Want some leftover turkey?

Are you okay?

Yeah. It only hurts
when I breathe.

Shit, Lee.

You shouldn't be running.

Well, these marathons,
they don't train for themselves.

I'm sorry I lied to you
at Thanksgiving.

Well, the jerk goes both ways.

I said some really shitty things.

That's why I don't form
attachments.

It's partly because I'm Buddhist,

it's partly because
I'm not very good at them.

You said some truths
that were hard to hear.

It's why I like you.

You like me because you need
a cancer friend.

Are we fighting again?
'Cause I'll go there.

I don't want to fight.

I miss talking to you.

Sure you don't want some turkey?

Oh, give me that.

Oh! Honey,
I have something for you.

Clearly it's not a vegetable,

since I don't
see any on your plate.

I have 30 minutes for lunch.

You can't be fast and healthy.

It's not physically possible.

A scale?

Mm-hmm. It's
a body composition monitor.

So a fancy scale?

- Mmm.
- You tryin'

to tell me something?

'Cause I thought you had
learned your lesson

when you gave me the iron
for our anniversary.

Sixth anniversary is iron.

I was being cute.
And "iron-ic."

Anyway, remember

how Dr. Sherman said
it was very, very important

to closely monitor your health?

This baby does it all.

In addition to your weight,
it gives you your bone mass,

your visceral weight,
and your metabolic age.

What's metabolic age?

That's when you factor in
all the other stuff,

it tells you how old
your body actually is.

Oh, shit.

Hey.

Oh, hey.
You lookin' for baby stuff?

Everything's available.

Uh, except the infant baby wipes.

Those stay.
Those gems are like

a deep, wet tongue kiss
on my hemorrhoids.

How ya doin'?

I know this is a lot to take in.

No, it's all good.

Yeah.
Um, I've got a plan.

I'm thinking about
turning the baby's room

into a hydroponic pot den.

Hello.

Uh, Mike, this is my wife,
Dawn, and this is Janie,

my little girl.

Aw.

Well, come on in!

Uh, look, Cathy.

A happy family in my home.

Uh, it's right over there.

We just moved in.
Our back yards abut each other.

I guess that makes us
abut-buddies.

I--I'm Cathy. This is my
brother, Sean.

Uh, if you could use
any of the stuff,

we'd love to see it
go to a good home.

It's all in really good shape.

Mm, it sure is.

I was in the market for a baby,
but then I did the math.

Did you know that
the federal child tax credit

doesn't even begin to offset
the price of an actual child?

So there's definitely
no profit in it.

Are you, uh, are you planning
on doing something with her?

She's just a little fussy,
or she's tired.

Or gassy, or wet,

or getting sick.
It happens all the time.

- She cries a lot.
- Mmm, she's a baby.

That's what babies do.
Cry and manipulate.

They're machiavellian
little shits.

You mind not swearing
in front of Janie?

- Seriously?
- Sean. Sorry.

Look, lady,
although your baby can hear,

she won't be able to be offended

until society tells her
what to be offended by.

Presently those things include,
um, gay men kissing,

body odor,

and the female nipple.

He's been going through
a really rough time.

If you would like
any of this stuff, please...

Please take it.

Thanks.

Uh, maybe another time.

I have, like,
six social networking sites.

Team Sugar, MySpace,
Facebook, Bebo, and Twitter.

Although I mainly use that
to promote my blog.

Oh yeah, I think--I think
I've heard of your blog.

Uh, what's it called?

I'm a--I'm a hipster fucktard dot com?

Oh!

Ow, you hit my boob.

I need a magnifying glass
to find that thing.

- Screw you.
- Hello.

What's up, mom?

Hi, Mrs. Jamison.

Poppy.

We need to talk about
the elephant in the room, here.

Uh, you and Adam hanging out,
it's odd. Right?

How do you mean?

Well, he's 15,

and you're closer to menopause
than puberty.

So just tell me there's
nothing sexual going on here.

Oh, Jesus, mom, come on.
Really?

It happens, Adam.

And your recent track record
of decision-making

hasn't instilled confidence.

Adam's just a kid,
Mrs. Jamison, we're just, like,

hanging out, 'cause we're, like,

going through a lot of
the same stuff.

Okay.

Fair warning,

you hurt my kid, I will hurt you.

And I am not above spitting
or hair-pulling.

Hmm.

I gotta go.

Oh! I have a surprise
for you tomorrow.

I'm gonna pick you up
at 5:00.

And wear something nice, okay?

Okay.

Hey!

- Hi.
- Hi, I wasn't expecting

to see you here today.

Um, yeah,
Dr. Sherman wanted to see me.

I felt like I was being called

into the principal's office.

Sometimes that can be
a good thing.

You might be given an award.

I got the award
for most tumors in the trial.

Got my scan results.

They take a beating,
but they keep on growing.

Oh, Lee.

Didn't get a trophy, which blows.

Sherman wants me
to stay in the trial,

but I--I think that's
a pity move on his part.

I'm sorry.

How 'bout you?

How are your scans?

Uh, they're good.

My tumors are shrinking.

The trial's working for you,
that's great, Cathy.

It makes my shitty news
easier to swallow.

Hey, things could be worse,
you know?

I'm alive, and I just got a lead

on an old-fashioned
burger and malt joint, so--

How do you do that?

How do you do the whole
water-off-a-duck's-back thing?

You have to focus on the good
things that melanoma brings.

Well, the people that we've met,
and--

the things that we've done,
and the places that we've been.

I keep focusing on all
the stuff I'll never get to do.

Glass half empty.

That's no way to while away
your remaining hours.

I--I still have
a very long to-do list.

I need to ride on
the back of a fire truck.

And get my hands on a bottle of
1982 Lafite Rothschild

and, judge if you want,

but I would still like to have
more adventurous sex.

With a man.

More adventurous.

You have sex with strangers
in the back of bars.

Yeah.
Well, it gets old.

- Cathy Jamison?
- Blood test.

Good luck.

Hey, I hear
that they're giving out ribbons

for good white blood cell count.

Why are we at a hotel?

This isn't some Dustin Hoffman,
Mrs. Robinson thing, is it?

Wow, I'm surprised
you even know that reference.

Yeah, I overheard my mom
say it to my dad.

Don't be such a dork,
you're so not my type.

Wait, uh, is this
your high school reunion?

Surprise!

Okay.
Kinda weird.

Please, we went to
a fetus funeral last week.

A high school reunion,
by comparison,

is decidedly not weird.

Are you okay?

Yeah, it's just all these names.

I'm having a bad flashback.

People kind of made fun of me
back then.

I wore a Sherlock Holmes hat,
whatever.

So I told myself
that I had to come tonight,

to show them
that I'm not the loser

they all thought I was.

Look, you want to bail?

Fine, bail.
I can handle this on my own.

No, it's cool, I'll--
I'll stay.

Welcome.

Adam LeDouche.

Honey, what do you want
your name to be?

- I'm kinda partial to Cathy.
- No, no, no.

This scale lets you
create profile names.

So that when you
step on the scale,

a voice says,
"Hello, Sven, welcome back."

My profile name's gonna be Sven.

'Cause, you know, the Nordics

are tall and thin. And that
puts me halfway to svelte.

Make mine "Good-bye."

Good-bye?

- Why?
- I don't know.

I think it might be fun
to hear it say,

"Hello, good-bye,
welcome back."

"Good-bye" it is.

Jesus Chr--

You scared the shit out of me.

Well, I got a whole stack of
cloth diapers over at the house,

just waitin' to mop up some poo.

They're all yours.

- Sean, what do you need?
- Earplugs.

Or--or, uh, cotton balls,

or, if you don't have
either of those, uh,

an ice pick might do it.

Just something to keep sound
from penetrating my eardrums.

What do you need earplugs for,
buddy?

It's that fucking baby.

Sh--she--she giggles,

she cries. Her parents
are out there right now,

rockin' out with their cocks out
to this--this, this...

Kiddie music.
It's boring into my brain.

Sean, just take a breath.

You know, when you--when you
get like this I get scared.

Maybe you should think about
going back on your meds.

Oh, no. No, no.
Um, I just need, uh,

I need something
to block out the noise.

Maybe I'll go to a drugstore.
Do they sell earplugs?

They must.

How much do you think they cost?
Can I borrow a little money?

Sean.

Uh--

I'm sorry.
I'm fine.

I know you're worried,
but I'm fine.

I feel like I'm at a party

with a bunch of
my parents' friends.

Don't you want to, like,
talk to people?

I don't know.

I already see
the Natalie clique forming.

They're all named Natalie.

Natalies are always bitches.

Maybe this wasn't
such a good idea.

Poppy Kowalski!

Oh, my God, it is you!

I told you it was her.
How are you?

Natalie Pious, Natalie Scott.

I'm good, how are you guys?

Really good.

Uh, these are our husbands,
Jeff and Dan.

Poppy was the girl
I told you about,

who wore a cape
all through freshman year.

Some trends
never really take off.

I almost didn't recognize you
without goth makeup.

So what do you do?

She directs documentary films.

Oh, is this your son?

I always thought you were gay.

I'm Adam, Poppy's boyfriend.

I'm 21.

Yeah, I--I kinda got tired of
dating guys our age.

Bald and paunchy just
wasn't doin' it for me.

No offense.

And what do you do
for a living, Adam?

I, uh, create and launch
new media projects.

Like social networking sites,
entertainment portals,

gaming sites,

stuff like that.

That is such a young man's game.

Yeah, well if you old dudes
are just gonna sit back

and let us steal all your money,

you know, I'm--
I'm more than happy to take it.

Wow,

Poppy, you've really
made something of yourself.

And all this

from the girl who played folk
music on the ukulele

for tips in the cafeteria.

I had my ukulele,

and you two had your hand jobs
at the back of the football bus.

We're gonna hit up the bar.

Okay, we'll catch up
with you guys later.

Great seeing you all.

Guess who found a bottle
of Lafite Rothschild.

Now, before you get too excited,

- it's not an '82.
- Wow.

Turns out I don't have

$5,000 burning a hole
in my pocket.

That is a 2007.

But, you know, all the labels
look the same. So we can

pretend that we're having
a ridiculously expensive

bottle of wine.

Just at a big discount.

Well, as my friend says,
it's not the wine,

it's the people that you're
drinking it with.

Besides, 2007 is not
a bad little step-brother.

How you doin'?

I'm okay.

I had my moment of self-pity,
and now I am ready

to circle the wagons,
and make another run at this.

Here is to a pretty amazing
bottle of wine,

and the best clinical trial
partner I've ever had.

- Mmm.
- It's good.

Hey.

What are you doing in there?

Making a documentary
on toilet paper?

Come on, I want to go
mess with some more people.

Poppy, everything okay?

No, everything's not okay.

I got my period.

Oh.

And I don't have any tampons.

Okay.

I mean, do you need to go home?

No, Adam.

I need a tampon.
And I need you to get me one.

Me? Where?

I mean, don't they have a
machine in there, or something?

It's empty!

Just, uh, go check
the hotel gift shop. Please?

The last thing I need is
everybody talking about

how the cape-wearing goth girl
got her period

at the class reunion.

Adam?

Yeah.

Yeah, okay, I'm on it.

Did you get 'em?

I don't know, there are, like,
ten different kinds here.

Oh, good.

Not that you need to know this,

but I have fussy privates.
Tell me what they have.

Okay, slender regular,
super plus,

lights, they have some
biodegradable applicator.

They also
have a sanitary napkin.

No,
that's like wearing a diaper.

Tell me what they have again.

Slender regular, super plus,
lights--

Slender regular's good.

Slender regular.

Why?

Why are you torturing me?
God damn it!

Fuck!

Oh, oh!

We have a dead soldier here.

I am gonna get us

another bottle of wine.

Wha--are you trying
to get the lady tipsy?

Well, the first bottle is
to spoil our senses,

and the second bottle is just
to keep the buzz going.

I'm already buzzed.

I think maybe I'll
just smell the cork on that one.

You okay?

Yeah, hey! No.

No sad eyes, all right?

Just fun.

Tell me

something that you have never
told anybody else.

Okay.

Um, oh.

Okay, here's--
here's a good one.

It was my freshman year
in college,

and I brought my boyfriend home
to meet my parents.

And we were horny as hell.

And we knew that we couldn't
have sex in my parents' house.

So...
We went for a drive.

We found this long, desolate,
dusty farm road.

And we got out of the car,

and he bent me over the hood

and we fucked
under the moonlight.

- Wow.
- Yeah, but that--

- that's not the best part.
- Ah-ha.

So the next day, we're putting
the luggage into the car,

we're saying good-bye
to my parents,

and there, on the hood,

preserved in dust and dew...

was my image.

My hands outstretched,
my tits, my face,

and I know--I know my father
saw it, because, I mean,

he could barely look me
in the eye for the next year.

What?
What are you thinking?

That you have great breasts.

Is that a compliment?
You know, coming from a gay guy?

Oh, hey, hey, it's--
it's always a compliment.

Because speaking as someone
who's never felt a breast,

I can say that I appreciate
their aesthetic appeal.

You've never copped a feel?

Well, by the time
the girls had anything to cop,

I was already staring down
the guys in the locker room.

But I get it.

I--I think that if I came back

in my next life
as a straight guy,

I would be able

to wrap my head around a vagina.

What are you doing?

Letting you cop a feel.

I mean, look, since I didn't
really nail it on the wine wish,

I mean, let's--
let's satisfy your curiosity.

Aw, Cathy--

If this is the one thing you
go to your grave without doing,

I'm gonna feel like a shitheel
for not offering.

I mean, look, they're--
they're here.

- Yup.
- They're attached to me.

They're free. I mean,
unlike that bottle of wine.

So come on.

Look, I may never be
this vulnerable and drunk again.

Come on.

Close your eyes.

Hello, Seven.

Shit.

Not Seven. Sven.

Fuckin' Chinese.

Press one for your weight.

Press two
for your body mass index.

Press three
for your metabolic age.

Based on current information,

your metabolic age is...

67 years old.

What the fuck?

Press one for--
press two--

Press three for--

Your metabolic age is

67 years old.

Oh.

Thank you so much.

I don't want to think about
what could've happened

or what they would've said
about me,

if you weren't around to help me.

Why do you care what they think?

If you ask me,
people are assholes.

God, that is so true.

You are so wise.

You are my wise man.

Adam LeDouche,

you are a gentleman.

Oh, my God, I love this song!

Whoa.

You look fancy,
where have you been?

I was with Poppy.

At a hotel.

Okay, but before you
go ballistic,

it was just for her
high school reunion.

And before you go ballistic
about that,

it was totally weird.

Just me, Poppy,
and a bunch of old people.

Did you have fun?

Um...
Yeah.

Yeah, I--
I kinda did.

When did you
start drinking coffee?

I tried it tonight,
and I liked it.

Do you remember that little kid

who used to live
down the block from us,

that used to bite himself?

Oh. Yeah.
Simon.

Why did he do that?

Well,
I think he was pretty unhappy.

His parents got divorced.
His dog got hit by that truck.

It's a lot
for a kid to deal with.

But none of those things
were his fault.

I think sometimes
when you're sad and angry,

and you don't want to
take it out on someone,

you take it out on yourself.

That's fucked up.

It is fucked up.

Hello, Seven, welcome back.

Paul, what are you doing?

Well, I'm just, uh,
I'm just trying this thing out

on a different surface.
I'm pretty sure it's busted.

Press one for--press two--
press three for--

Your metabolic age is...

67 years old.

See?

It keeps on turning me

into a senior citizen.
Here, you try it.

Hello, Good-bye.
Welcome back.

Okay,
press the button on the right.

Based on current information,

your metabolic age is...

37 years old.

Hey!

Look at that!

I'm dying.

- Paul--
- No, this is crazy.

I'm 45, I'm only 45 years old.

I--I gotta get in better shape,
honey.

I gotta get the treadmill
out of the garage,

I gotta get--I gotta get back
to my fighting weight.

You know?

And, I'm sure you wouldn't mind

if I lost a few pounds, right?

What is that?

Sean, your door's open!

Sean--

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