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1
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It's so hard
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to turn your life over
3
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step out
4
00:00:45,437 --> 00:00:49,943
of your comfort zone
5
00:00:52,374 --> 00:00:55,733
is this
some kind of a joke?
6
00:00:55,911 --> 00:01:00,521
will someone
wake me up soon?
7
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and tell me this was just
a game we play
8
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called life
9
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It's way too small.
10
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It's just symbolic,
though, right?
11
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Maybe I can show you
something in teak?
12
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Maybe you can show me something
13
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that doesn't look
like a clown car.
14
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This is my flesh and blood
we're talking about.
15
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She's dealing with
a miscarriage in her own way.
16
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It's only been about four days.
17
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I understand.
18
00:01:33,316 --> 00:01:35,809
Now, this--
this isn't bad.
19
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Oh, well, that's the Cadillac
of ever-afters.
20
00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:41,482
But, Rebecca, you don't
have anything to put in it.
21
00:01:41,622 --> 00:01:44,820
Well, except her
hopes and dreams.
22
00:01:44,990 --> 00:01:47,165
I-I know that everybody
mourns in a different way.
23
00:01:47,293 --> 00:01:49,980
When I miscarried,
I planted a tree.
24
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I don't want to mourn.
25
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I want to celebrate
the life that was inside me
26
00:01:53,233 --> 00:01:54,704
for 18 weeks.
27
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This fetus deserves to be feted.
28
00:01:56,770 --> 00:01:58,657
I will take the big, shiny one.
29
00:01:58,772 --> 00:02:00,083
Of course.
Excellent choice.
30
00:02:00,173 --> 00:02:03,276
And we'll do the service in
our contemplation room.
31
00:02:03,445 --> 00:02:04,594
I'm gonna need room
for a photo booth
32
00:02:04,679 --> 00:02:05,671
and a sushi bar.
33
00:02:05,746 --> 00:02:07,217
I'm gonna have...
34
00:02:07,315 --> 00:02:09,073
If you'll excuse us
for one second.
35
00:02:09,183 --> 00:02:11,933
What?
36
00:02:12,086 --> 00:02:14,101
Now, I want to be supportive,
37
00:02:14,221 --> 00:02:16,588
but I'm afraid that you're
sublimating your grief
38
00:02:16,723 --> 00:02:19,186
with...sushi.
39
00:02:19,327 --> 00:02:21,436
Cath, I'm okay.
40
00:02:21,561 --> 00:02:23,352
A baby was never
in the cards for me.
41
00:02:23,463 --> 00:02:25,029
If I had really wanted one,
42
00:02:25,130 --> 00:02:26,697
I would have had one
before my uterus
43
00:02:26,799 --> 00:02:28,909
started dropping to my knees.
44
00:02:29,035 --> 00:02:30,346
It's Sean you should worry about.
45
00:02:30,437 --> 00:02:31,365
He's gone off his meds.
46
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Oh, God.
47
00:02:32,806 --> 00:02:34,405
He said it was the only way
he could feel the pain
48
00:02:34,507 --> 00:02:36,107
of losing baby Cathy.
49
00:02:36,209 --> 00:02:38,353
May I ask where the coffin
will be buried?
50
00:02:38,478 --> 00:02:41,230
I thought I would put her
in the Tolke family plot.
51
00:02:41,383 --> 00:02:42,887
There is no Tolke family plot.
52
00:02:42,984 --> 00:02:45,063
Hold on.
You have cancer
53
00:02:45,187 --> 00:02:46,498
and no plot?
54
00:02:46,589 --> 00:02:47,964
Hello!
55
00:02:48,057 --> 00:02:49,592
You might want
to think about that.
56
00:02:49,692 --> 00:02:51,611
I have some lovely
space available.
57
00:02:51,728 --> 00:02:54,159
I'm sure you do.
58
00:02:56,934 --> 00:02:58,629
Did you know you can get a coffin
59
00:02:58,737 --> 00:02:59,791
that's aerated?
60
00:02:59,871 --> 00:03:02,174
To avoid that
musty just-dead smell?
61
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,330
So water can run through it.
62
00:03:03,408 --> 00:03:04,879
You can take a bath for eternity.
63
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:06,544
"A," that's disgusting.
64
00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:07,956
"B," I don't really want
to talk about this.
65
00:03:08,046 --> 00:03:09,006
It's morbid.
66
00:03:09,081 --> 00:03:10,329
We have to talk about it, Paul.
67
00:03:10,416 --> 00:03:12,079
I mean, it's crazy
how unprepared we are.
68
00:03:12,185 --> 00:03:13,400
We don't even have burial plots.
69
00:03:13,486 --> 00:03:15,085
This is all Rebecca's fault.
70
00:03:15,188 --> 00:03:17,203
You know, she wants to throw
a state funeral
71
00:03:17,324 --> 00:03:18,507
for her unborn child,
72
00:03:18,592 --> 00:03:20,223
and now you're catalogue
shopping for coffins.
73
00:03:20,328 --> 00:03:21,383
Yes, she is cuckoo.
74
00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:23,476
But we have to have
some understanding.
75
00:03:23,597 --> 00:03:25,932
Honey, I get it.
76
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:27,473
But she was barely showing.
77
00:03:27,567 --> 00:03:28,942
I'm going to Brent's.
78
00:03:29,036 --> 00:03:31,146
I thought you were going to
a hockey game with Uncle Sean.
79
00:03:31,272 --> 00:03:33,062
Uh, yeah, I don't know.
He's acting all weird.
80
00:03:33,173 --> 00:03:35,668
You know, it's not like
an actual person died.
81
00:03:35,809 --> 00:03:36,991
Thank you.
82
00:03:37,077 --> 00:03:38,259
It's like everybody caught
pro-life-itis.
83
00:03:38,345 --> 00:03:39,367
Paul!
84
00:03:39,446 --> 00:03:41,045
Come on, everybody
was thinkin' it.
85
00:03:41,148 --> 00:03:45,274
- Mom, dad.
- Who are those for?
86
00:03:45,484 --> 00:03:48,267
"Sorry for your loss."
87
00:03:48,421 --> 00:03:50,085
Hey, these are for you.
88
00:03:50,189 --> 00:03:52,237
We got them by mistake.
89
00:03:52,359 --> 00:03:54,534
Oh, excellent.
90
00:03:54,661 --> 00:03:57,668
The, uh, the obituary's
working its intended magic.
91
00:03:57,832 --> 00:04:00,071
You wrote an obituary?
92
00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:02,727
Well, somebody had to
acknowledge this happened.
93
00:04:02,870 --> 00:04:04,405
Let me tell you something, Cathy,
94
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:05,816
you go before you hit 20 weeks,
95
00:04:05,905 --> 00:04:07,057
you are shit out of luck.
96
00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:09,380
You can't get a birth
or a death certificate.
97
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,789
It's like you've, um--
98
00:04:10,878 --> 00:04:12,285
it's like you've been
wiped off the books.
99
00:04:12,380 --> 00:04:14,491
You never existed.
100
00:04:14,616 --> 00:04:16,790
Thankfully, the folks
at The Twin Cities Leader
101
00:04:16,917 --> 00:04:19,348
took pity on my plight,
and they also took my 20 bucks.
102
00:04:19,487 --> 00:04:22,333
I know this is
an incredibly hard time.
103
00:04:22,489 --> 00:04:23,512
You want to know hard?
104
00:04:23,589 --> 00:04:25,572
You try going
to the preemie ward.
105
00:04:25,692 --> 00:04:26,811
They have babies in there
106
00:04:26,893 --> 00:04:29,452
the size of a fucking acorn.
107
00:04:29,596 --> 00:04:31,803
But they get to live.
108
00:04:31,932 --> 00:04:33,786
They even have volunteers
to hold them
109
00:04:33,901 --> 00:04:35,883
so they--they--
they grow faster.
110
00:04:36,003 --> 00:04:38,243
You--they have
fucking entourages.
111
00:04:38,372 --> 00:04:40,131
Rebecca told me that you--
you went off your--
112
00:04:40,241 --> 00:04:41,649
you went off your meds.
113
00:04:41,744 --> 00:04:44,143
Yeah, I'm--I'm not gonna
go through this doped up.
114
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,423
Oh, Sean, why make this
harder on yourself?
115
00:04:46,549 --> 00:04:47,572
It's a very emotional time.
116
00:04:47,651 --> 00:04:49,058
Exactly.
117
00:04:49,152 --> 00:04:51,935
And I plan on feeling
every, single bit of it.
118
00:05:02,066 --> 00:05:04,849
Hey, buddy.
119
00:05:05,003 --> 00:05:06,570
I didn't know customers
were allowed back here.
120
00:05:06,671 --> 00:05:08,078
They're not the customers.
121
00:05:08,173 --> 00:05:11,403
Wait...They just
stole that stuff?
122
00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:13,112
In broad daylight?
123
00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:14,940
Relax, Paul.
124
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,551
Owen is at Quiznos on his break.
125
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,089
It's just us here.
126
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,073
Okay, here is your piece
of the action.
127
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,723
Can I just be clear
about something?
128
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,208
I don't condone stealing, okay?
129
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,452
I never even lifted a pack of gum
130
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:35,783
when I was a kid.
131
00:05:35,871 --> 00:05:37,598
Right? I'm doing this
because my wife is sick
132
00:05:37,706 --> 00:05:38,665
and we have bills.
133
00:05:38,741 --> 00:05:40,531
I don't judge.
134
00:05:40,642 --> 00:05:41,601
After I pay my rent,
135
00:05:41,677 --> 00:05:43,500
I am spending the money
on Andrea.
136
00:05:43,612 --> 00:05:44,827
That girl.
137
00:05:44,913 --> 00:05:45,872
She likes her bling.
138
00:05:45,948 --> 00:05:47,163
Sometimes, when we go out,
139
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:49,712
she looks like a beautiful
black Christmas tree.
140
00:05:51,854 --> 00:05:52,908
You really like her, huh?
141
00:05:52,989 --> 00:05:55,516
Do Ukrainians love bread?
142
00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:56,906
I have no idea.
143
00:05:56,994 --> 00:05:58,945
They do.
144
00:06:03,835 --> 00:06:06,041
What are you makin' there?
145
00:06:06,170 --> 00:06:08,089
It's my outfit for the funeral.
146
00:06:08,205 --> 00:06:09,900
I'm adding extra sparkles to it
147
00:06:10,006 --> 00:06:12,245
because funerals scare
the shit out of me.
148
00:06:12,377 --> 00:06:13,687
Well, this one has a photo booth,
149
00:06:13,776 --> 00:06:17,136
so you might be
pleasantly surprised.
150
00:06:17,314 --> 00:06:20,417
I'm sorry.
My family is so dysfunctional.
151
00:06:20,584 --> 00:06:22,023
Hey, if I hadn't
moved in with you,
152
00:06:22,119 --> 00:06:25,222
I never would have met Myk.
153
00:06:25,390 --> 00:06:26,988
How's that goin'?
154
00:06:27,092 --> 00:06:29,394
Pretty good.
155
00:06:29,527 --> 00:06:32,310
Is it...getting serious?
156
00:06:32,464 --> 00:06:34,223
You sound like my mom.
157
00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:35,644
Do I?
I don't mean to, I just--
158
00:06:35,734 --> 00:06:38,709
I want you to be able to talk
to me about stuff, Andrea.
159
00:06:38,871 --> 00:06:40,726
Myk and I are gonna do it.
160
00:06:43,374 --> 00:06:44,942
Oh.
161
00:06:45,044 --> 00:06:47,347
Wow, are you sure you're ready?
162
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:51,062
I mean, do I...do I need
to take you to a gynecologist?
163
00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:52,976
Or should I ground you?
164
00:06:53,086 --> 00:06:54,076
Sounding like my mom.
165
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:55,783
All right.
Sorry.
166
00:06:59,191 --> 00:07:01,493
Have you...
167
00:07:01,627 --> 00:07:03,513
- done it before?
- You callin' me a ho?
168
00:07:03,628 --> 00:07:04,970
I'm not calling you a ho.
169
00:07:06,999 --> 00:07:08,405
It might be my first time.
170
00:07:10,869 --> 00:07:12,372
My God.
171
00:07:12,471 --> 00:07:13,750
Well...
172
00:07:13,839 --> 00:07:15,981
I'm in total virgin
territory here.
173
00:07:16,108 --> 00:07:17,162
No pun intended.
174
00:07:17,242 --> 00:07:18,425
I mean, I didn't
get to talk to Adam
175
00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:20,109
about losing his virginity--
he just went and did it.
176
00:07:20,211 --> 00:07:21,714
Did I ask for your advice?
177
00:07:21,813 --> 00:07:23,348
No.
178
00:07:23,448 --> 00:07:25,622
But let me just say this.
179
00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:28,309
Low expectations.
180
00:07:28,454 --> 00:07:29,541
Low.
181
00:07:29,622 --> 00:07:32,341
Because the sex most likely
is gonna suck.
182
00:07:32,492 --> 00:07:34,347
But you make sure...
183
00:07:34,461 --> 00:07:35,613
That he respects you.
184
00:07:35,695 --> 00:07:39,439
And that he makes it special.
185
00:07:39,634 --> 00:07:41,969
I lost my virginity
on a bean bag chair.
186
00:07:42,104 --> 00:07:43,544
Five minutes, and it was over.
187
00:07:43,639 --> 00:07:45,302
Just like a fairytale.
188
00:07:45,409 --> 00:07:46,687
Cathy, are you here?
189
00:07:46,776 --> 00:07:47,734
Yeah, in here.
190
00:07:47,810 --> 00:07:49,088
Oh, hi.
191
00:07:49,179 --> 00:07:50,426
Hey, Andrea.
192
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,207
Oh, nice sparkles.
193
00:07:52,315 --> 00:07:54,394
Um, I was wondering
if you'd say some words
194
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:55,476
at the funeral.
195
00:07:55,551 --> 00:07:57,662
Sure. Uh...
196
00:07:57,787 --> 00:08:00,250
There--there's a Robert Frost
poem I know.
197
00:08:00,390 --> 00:08:02,213
No, I meant like a eulogy.
198
00:08:02,324 --> 00:08:03,924
- Eulogy?
- Isn't a eulogy,
199
00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:05,785
like, memories of a person
200
00:08:05,895 --> 00:08:07,014
or stories about their life?
201
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:08,855
Cathy will think of something.
202
00:08:08,965 --> 00:08:10,116
Okay. Thanks.
203
00:08:15,173 --> 00:08:16,900
Please don't get pregnant.
204
00:08:39,533 --> 00:08:41,291
Hey, what's with
the fancy muffins?
205
00:08:41,401 --> 00:08:42,648
Yeah, aren't they great?
206
00:08:42,735 --> 00:08:44,813
They came in a basket
called "Breakfast Mourning."
207
00:08:44,938 --> 00:08:47,464
Yes, mourning was
spelled with a "U."
208
00:08:47,607 --> 00:08:48,918
It's a bereavement basket.
209
00:08:49,008 --> 00:08:50,158
Oh, Paul, we can't eat these.
210
00:08:50,243 --> 00:08:51,714
These are for Sean and Rebecca.
211
00:08:51,813 --> 00:08:53,187
Nope, they're for us.
212
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,647
Well, they're for me,
since I'm the grieving widower.
213
00:08:55,783 --> 00:08:57,733
What are you saying?
214
00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,615
Cathy Tolke died
215
00:09:03,723 --> 00:09:05,195
on Thanksgiving.
216
00:09:05,292 --> 00:09:08,747
Gone to a kinder place.
217
00:09:08,929 --> 00:09:10,528
Oh, my God.
218
00:09:10,631 --> 00:09:12,773
At least the widower
will not go hungry.
219
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:14,691
Oh, jee--
Why did Sean do this?
220
00:09:14,803 --> 00:09:16,274
What was he thinking?
221
00:09:16,370 --> 00:09:19,441
He couldn't pay for the extra
line, "Not my sister,
222
00:09:19,607 --> 00:09:21,847
the embryo I was gonna name
after my sister"?
223
00:09:21,977 --> 00:09:24,312
Good news is,
we're extremely popular.
224
00:09:24,446 --> 00:09:27,134
We've already gotten
30 condolence cards.
225
00:09:27,283 --> 00:09:28,242
Jesus.
226
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,711
Who died?
227
00:09:32,824 --> 00:09:34,391
Me.
228
00:09:42,902 --> 00:09:44,085
Hey, you want something to eat?
229
00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:46,601
No, no...Not until
I take this fucker apart.
230
00:09:46,740 --> 00:09:49,362
$10 nut by $20 bolt.
231
00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:51,141
Do you want a Xanax, maybe.
232
00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:53,227
No, I don't want any Xanax.
233
00:09:53,345 --> 00:09:55,360
And if anybody needs
some help, it's you.
234
00:09:55,481 --> 00:09:57,016
I mean, look at you, Rebecca.
235
00:09:57,116 --> 00:09:58,747
I've seen you more upset
236
00:09:58,851 --> 00:10:00,194
when someone stole
your parking space.
237
00:10:00,286 --> 00:10:03,901
I'm trying to see
the positive, Sean.
238
00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:05,912
I didn't think
I could even get pregnant.
239
00:10:06,025 --> 00:10:08,487
Oh, well, congratulations to you.
240
00:10:10,463 --> 00:10:12,637
I'm going back to work tomorrow.
241
00:10:12,766 --> 00:10:14,525
I'm feeling kind of
cooped up here.
242
00:10:14,635 --> 00:10:15,882
Well, it's your loss.
243
00:10:15,971 --> 00:10:18,818
I'm gonna have a changing table
bonfire tomorrow.
244
00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:06,257
This feels nice.
245
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:09,274
Feels pretty fuckin' weird to me.
246
00:11:09,428 --> 00:11:11,922
We got a fetus funeral
this afternoon,
247
00:11:12,064 --> 00:11:14,174
and this is how you want
to spend your morning,
248
00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:17,210
looking at burial plots?
249
00:11:17,370 --> 00:11:18,616
You're a death junkie.
250
00:11:18,705 --> 00:11:20,399
No, I just--I just
want us to decide
251
00:11:20,506 --> 00:11:21,754
where we want to be.
252
00:11:21,841 --> 00:11:23,600
This is the perfect time
to do it--
253
00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:24,732
while we're both still here
254
00:11:24,811 --> 00:11:26,985
and can make a rational decision.
255
00:11:27,113 --> 00:11:29,543
People do crazy things in grief.
256
00:11:29,682 --> 00:11:33,681
Look at Rebecca.
257
00:11:33,887 --> 00:11:35,006
Switch with me.
258
00:11:45,498 --> 00:11:48,441
There, now you're looking
at my good side for eternity.
259
00:11:52,940 --> 00:11:54,924
When you come visit me here,
260
00:11:55,043 --> 00:11:58,338
and you will come visit me,
261
00:11:58,514 --> 00:12:00,913
I want you to always
imagine me blowing kisses.
262
00:12:01,051 --> 00:12:02,361
Death junkie.
263
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:07,967
We should take this.
264
00:12:08,158 --> 00:12:09,117
Honey...
265
00:12:09,191 --> 00:12:11,654
My--my feet are
higher than my head.
266
00:12:11,793 --> 00:12:14,576
I'm looking at a guy named
Alfonso P. Dick.
267
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:17,257
If this is forever, I think
we gotta dream a little bigger.
268
00:12:17,399 --> 00:12:19,126
Hmm.
269
00:12:19,234 --> 00:12:22,720
I'd love to have a plot
in the full sun.
270
00:12:22,904 --> 00:12:24,247
Wouldn't that be awesome?
271
00:12:24,339 --> 00:12:26,642
Just to lie in the sun forever
and not have it kill you?
272
00:12:28,477 --> 00:12:30,524
It's so ironic.
273
00:12:30,646 --> 00:12:35,861
But...Shady and uneven
is what we can afford.
274
00:12:36,119 --> 00:12:38,614
Hope Mr. Dick
isn't a snorer.
275
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:44,452
Adam!
Over here, you koc!
276
00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,274
Wait, you're Poppy?
277
00:12:52,373 --> 00:12:55,475
Poppy P. Kowalski.
278
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:57,049
The middle "P"
is for "Pamela."
279
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,423
Ew, right?
280
00:12:58,512 --> 00:12:59,631
You're old.
281
00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:01,024
Thanks, bitch.
282
00:13:01,115 --> 00:13:03,450
But your name is "poppy17."
283
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,182
Yeah, it's for
the Janis Ian song.
284
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,500
Who?
285
00:13:06,587 --> 00:13:07,930
It's awesome.
I'll play it for you sometime.
286
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:09,717
I gotta--I gotta go.
287
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,070
Dude, you just got here!
288
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,365
I don't know what kind
of twisted game you play,
289
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,796
trolling around on a
kids with sick parents website,
290
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:16,920
but it's not cool.
291
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,759
My dad has lung cancer.
292
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,144
So I'm a kid with
a sick parent too.
293
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:29,950
So you don't get to be
the only one around here
294
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:30,969
who's fucked up.
295
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,291
Who says I'm fucked up?
296
00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:33,849
Well, that's what you're gonna be
297
00:13:33,948 --> 00:13:35,867
when I beat your ass
in this game.
298
00:13:41,054 --> 00:13:43,804
299
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:47,027
Whatever you're about
to say, don't.
300
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,817
Remember, this is the act
of a grieving woman.
301
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:50,891
Oh!
302
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:51,891
Rebecca.
303
00:13:51,966 --> 00:13:53,118
Hey, it looks lovely.
304
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,215
It is funeral-tastic.
305
00:13:55,337 --> 00:13:56,487
- Thanks.
- Really.
306
00:13:56,571 --> 00:13:58,202
Have you seen Sean?
He's gone AWOL.
307
00:13:58,307 --> 00:14:00,258
- Mm-mmm.
- Oh...All right.
308
00:14:00,376 --> 00:14:01,463
Just, um, remember,
309
00:14:01,544 --> 00:14:03,367
your eulogy comes
after his remarks.
310
00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,943
- I want everything to flow--
- Oh, my God.
311
00:14:06,082 --> 00:14:08,194
- Julie?
- You're alive!
312
00:14:10,420 --> 00:14:12,883
Ohh! I saw the announcement
and I thought--
313
00:14:13,024 --> 00:14:14,878
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no, no, no.
314
00:14:14,992 --> 00:14:16,431
Didn't have funeral
information in the obit.
315
00:14:16,527 --> 00:14:18,222
Oh, well, I found it online.
316
00:14:18,329 --> 00:14:20,152
- I went wide on Twitter.
- You what?
317
00:14:20,265 --> 00:14:25,000
This funeral is of my unborn
child, Cathy Tolke.
318
00:14:25,236 --> 00:14:26,707
Rebecca miscarried.
319
00:14:26,805 --> 00:14:28,532
Ohh.
Uh, I'm so sorry.
320
00:14:28,639 --> 00:14:29,727
Thank you.
321
00:14:29,808 --> 00:14:30,991
When I miscarried,
I planted a tree.
322
00:14:31,075 --> 00:14:33,059
Well, I didn't want to plant
a God damn tree.
323
00:14:33,179 --> 00:14:35,321
Julie was on
my high school swim team.
324
00:14:35,447 --> 00:14:36,438
Cathy!
325
00:14:36,515 --> 00:14:38,115
Oh, you're all here!
326
00:14:43,156 --> 00:14:44,403
We rented a van.
327
00:14:44,491 --> 00:14:46,506
Oh, please tell me
Lead-Foot Lisa didn't drive!
328
00:14:46,627 --> 00:14:49,889
You know, this is a funeral.
329
00:14:50,064 --> 00:14:53,262
It isn't t.G.I. Friday's
at Happy Hour.
330
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,161
Could you all just
bring it down a little bit?
331
00:14:55,268 --> 00:14:57,380
Rebecca, they're--
332
00:14:57,504 --> 00:14:59,008
they're just happy I'm not dead.
333
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,538
All right.
I'm gonna check on the buffet.
334
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:09,130
I'm at my own funeral.
335
00:15:09,251 --> 00:15:11,106
A-and it's very nice.
336
00:15:11,219 --> 00:15:13,362
Everything's so pink.
337
00:15:13,488 --> 00:15:15,727
Whoa, three in a row.
Take that, sucker.
338
00:15:15,857 --> 00:15:16,880
That's not fair.
339
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:18,526
This game's from, like, the '80s.
340
00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,194
It's for old people.
341
00:15:20,296 --> 00:15:22,824
- Sorry.
- Uh! Whatever. Please.
342
00:15:22,966 --> 00:15:25,397
How old are you, anyway?
343
00:15:25,536 --> 00:15:27,166
My shrink says I act like I'm 14.
344
00:15:27,271 --> 00:15:29,670
I'm like, "I can drive, so take that."
345
00:15:29,806 --> 00:15:31,917
Yeah, I hate shrinks.
346
00:15:32,042 --> 00:15:33,161
Oh, my God, me too.
347
00:15:33,243 --> 00:15:34,426
You know, like,
we don't have enough people
348
00:15:34,510 --> 00:15:35,533
already staring at us.
349
00:15:35,612 --> 00:15:36,634
- Ahh.
- Yeah.
350
00:15:36,713 --> 00:15:38,120
I mean, it's not our fault
351
00:15:38,214 --> 00:15:39,525
our parents got cancer.
352
00:15:39,615 --> 00:15:42,333
Jesus, it's so fucking random!
353
00:15:42,485 --> 00:15:44,148
Why us?
354
00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:46,972
Might want to, um,
use your inside voice.
355
00:15:47,123 --> 00:15:49,138
Can I tell you a secret?
356
00:15:49,259 --> 00:15:51,017
I don't have
an inside voice!
357
00:15:55,832 --> 00:15:58,263
Shit, um...
358
00:15:59,503 --> 00:16:01,518
I have this crazy
funeral thing to go to
359
00:16:01,639 --> 00:16:03,015
for my uncle's miscarriage.
360
00:16:03,107 --> 00:16:04,834
Oh, shut up.
That's awesome.
361
00:16:04,942 --> 00:16:06,349
Can I come?
362
00:16:06,444 --> 00:16:07,371
- To a funeral?
- Yeah.
363
00:16:07,445 --> 00:16:08,564
I don't even wanna go.
364
00:16:08,648 --> 00:16:09,894
Exactly--you need
a koc buddy.
365
00:16:09,982 --> 00:16:11,581
We should test drive
this death thing.
366
00:16:13,085 --> 00:16:14,620
I have to tell you,
for a dead woman,
367
00:16:14,719 --> 00:16:15,774
you look really awesome.
368
00:16:15,855 --> 00:16:17,070
Well, thanks.
369
00:16:17,156 --> 00:16:19,619
I'm--I'm so sorry
you came all this way.
370
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:20,878
Oh, are you kidding?
371
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,207
I would have
flown in from anywhere.
372
00:16:22,294 --> 00:16:24,566
You were a really good friend,
Cathy.
373
00:16:24,698 --> 00:16:27,448
I remember this one day,
senior year,
374
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,647
I was crying in the cafeteria,
375
00:16:29,769 --> 00:16:30,792
and you were the only one
who stopped
376
00:16:30,869 --> 00:16:32,308
and asked what was wrong.
377
00:16:32,404 --> 00:16:34,259
I'd just gotten into
Carlton College.
378
00:16:34,373 --> 00:16:36,004
And I really,
really wanted to go.
379
00:16:36,108 --> 00:16:37,548
But my boyfriend
was going to U. Minn,
380
00:16:37,643 --> 00:16:40,107
and I knew it would be over with
him unless I went too.
381
00:16:40,246 --> 00:16:43,189
And do you remember
what you said?
382
00:16:43,349 --> 00:16:45,044
"U. Minn, that's a crappy
football team."
383
00:16:45,152 --> 00:16:46,303
No, no.
384
00:16:46,386 --> 00:16:49,840
No, you said,
"Don't delay the happy."
385
00:16:50,023 --> 00:16:51,590
That's good advice.
386
00:16:51,692 --> 00:16:52,810
It was great advice.
387
00:16:52,893 --> 00:16:54,844
I went to Carlton,
forgot all about Matt,
388
00:16:54,962 --> 00:16:56,849
and had an amazing time.
389
00:16:56,964 --> 00:16:58,307
And met my husband.
390
00:16:58,399 --> 00:17:00,158
Oh, well, that's terrific.
391
00:17:00,268 --> 00:17:01,674
I love that story.
392
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:04,232
So...Thank you, Cathy.
393
00:17:07,342 --> 00:17:10,605
I do not remember
one bit of that story.
394
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,283
I am such an asshole.
395
00:17:12,381 --> 00:17:14,364
An asshole
who gives great advice.
396
00:17:16,052 --> 00:17:18,418
- Cathy?
- Hey.
397
00:17:18,555 --> 00:17:21,850
- You're alive?
- She is!
398
00:17:22,024 --> 00:17:23,816
Shit.
399
00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:26,152
Oh, Paulie.
400
00:17:26,229 --> 00:17:29,236
Oh, Paulie, I'm so, so sorry.
401
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,454
I'm totally here for you.
402
00:17:30,534 --> 00:17:32,964
No...Cathy didn't die.
403
00:17:33,103 --> 00:17:34,606
What?
404
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,432
Huge mix-up.
405
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:37,947
She's alive and kicking.
406
00:17:38,043 --> 00:17:39,993
See? Right here.
407
00:17:42,614 --> 00:17:44,405
Wow.
408
00:17:44,516 --> 00:17:46,147
Wow. Well, great news.
409
00:17:46,251 --> 00:17:47,338
Right.
410
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:49,691
Ain't that a kick
in the head, huh?
411
00:17:49,821 --> 00:17:52,572
Like a zombie movie.
412
00:17:52,726 --> 00:17:54,100
Heh, so, um...
413
00:17:54,194 --> 00:17:56,464
Well, there's an open bar
with my name all over it.
414
00:17:56,596 --> 00:17:58,899
So...I'll drink to that.
415
00:17:59,032 --> 00:18:01,782
- Yeah.
- Oh, but, um...
416
00:18:01,935 --> 00:18:03,342
If you're really hungry,
there's some
417
00:18:03,436 --> 00:18:05,388
terrific California rolls
right over the--
418
00:18:08,775 --> 00:18:10,661
Excuse me.
419
00:18:12,413 --> 00:18:15,226
Hi, honey.
420
00:18:15,382 --> 00:18:16,468
Hi!
421
00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:18,213
I'm Cathy.
I'm Adam's mom.
422
00:18:18,318 --> 00:18:19,788
Oh, my gosh, hi.
I'm Poppy.
423
00:18:19,886 --> 00:18:22,540
Your son is total awesomeness.
424
00:18:22,688 --> 00:18:24,607
Yes. Yes, he is.
425
00:18:24,723 --> 00:18:26,898
And how do you know
his awesomeness?
426
00:18:27,027 --> 00:18:28,113
Uh, we met online.
427
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,121
What?
428
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,434
At a chat room for kids...
429
00:18:31,564 --> 00:18:33,898
With parents who have cancer.
430
00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:35,056
You have cancer?
431
00:18:35,135 --> 00:18:36,254
No, silly.
432
00:18:36,337 --> 00:18:38,191
I'm the kid.
433
00:18:38,304 --> 00:18:40,224
Who's about to get
some free food.
434
00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:44,469
I don't understand.
435
00:18:44,578 --> 00:18:45,953
It's a computer program
436
00:18:46,047 --> 00:18:47,455
where you can put
two faces together.
437
00:18:47,549 --> 00:18:49,212
And see what your baby
would look like.
438
00:18:49,317 --> 00:18:51,140
This child looks like an old man.
439
00:18:51,252 --> 00:18:52,948
I am uncomfortable.
440
00:18:55,357 --> 00:18:56,443
Maybe they are just friends.
441
00:18:56,525 --> 00:18:58,347
You know?
May not be a bad thing
442
00:18:58,458 --> 00:18:59,833
for Adam to have someone
to hang around with
443
00:18:59,927 --> 00:19:01,398
who's going through
the same shit; I don't know.
444
00:19:01,496 --> 00:19:03,414
Paul, she's practically my age.
445
00:19:03,531 --> 00:19:04,650
So? So what?
446
00:19:04,733 --> 00:19:06,652
I had an older friend
when I was growing up.
447
00:19:06,768 --> 00:19:08,079
You know, she was an artist.
448
00:19:08,169 --> 00:19:10,760
I was 16.
She was 40.
449
00:19:10,905 --> 00:19:12,857
We used to hang around
talking about Rothko.
450
00:19:12,974 --> 00:19:15,726
Okay, maybe I saw her
boob-a-rellas like once.
451
00:19:15,877 --> 00:19:16,996
Twice, maybe.
452
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,806
Will you tell your friends
453
00:19:18,914 --> 00:19:20,160
to stop hogging the photo booth?
454
00:19:20,249 --> 00:19:22,807
Didn't you want people
to enjoy it?
455
00:19:22,951 --> 00:19:24,134
Well, sure, the right people.
456
00:19:24,219 --> 00:19:26,777
The people who are here
for my loss, not your loss.
457
00:19:26,922 --> 00:19:28,520
You're totally hijacking
my funeral.
458
00:19:28,624 --> 00:19:30,895
Actually, Rebecca...
459
00:19:31,027 --> 00:19:33,010
You're hijacking mine.
460
00:19:33,129 --> 00:19:36,040
Yeah, no, you chose to name
the baby after me.
461
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,087
You threw this crazy funeral.
462
00:19:38,202 --> 00:19:39,481
You put it on Twitter.
463
00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:41,970
Thanks to you, I'm already dead.
464
00:19:42,107 --> 00:19:44,538
Oh, look, I think I've been
more than supportive,
465
00:19:44,677 --> 00:19:47,236
but I'm the one who's
been really, really sick.
466
00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:49,906
This may be my last time
to see a lot of these people
467
00:19:50,049 --> 00:19:54,175
who came here...for me.
468
00:19:54,386 --> 00:19:56,016
Forget about doing the eulogy.
469
00:19:56,122 --> 00:19:57,240
Ohh...
470
00:19:57,323 --> 00:19:58,634
Rebecca!
471
00:19:58,724 --> 00:20:01,539
For God's sake.
472
00:20:01,693 --> 00:20:03,644
Is that "Rugby Slut"?
473
00:20:03,761 --> 00:20:04,816
No. No!
474
00:20:04,896 --> 00:20:05,822
Jesus! No!
475
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:10,517
Look at you.
476
00:20:10,602 --> 00:20:12,586
- You're alive.
- Ahh.
477
00:20:12,704 --> 00:20:14,719
Very much so.
478
00:20:14,841 --> 00:20:17,592
Cathy, I--
I don't want you to worry.
479
00:20:17,744 --> 00:20:20,687
I--if anything should
ever happen to you,
480
00:20:20,848 --> 00:20:22,638
I will totally be there for Paul.
481
00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:25,149
- I'm sure you would.
- Yeah.
482
00:20:25,287 --> 00:20:27,686
Here's the thing.
483
00:20:27,823 --> 00:20:30,669
I will most likely...go before Paul.
484
00:20:30,825 --> 00:20:33,096
- Yeah.
- And after I do...
485
00:20:33,228 --> 00:20:36,426
I really, really hope he finds...
486
00:20:36,598 --> 00:20:37,525
an amazing woman
487
00:20:37,599 --> 00:20:39,485
to live the rest
of his life with.
488
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,350
Someone who can...take care of him
489
00:20:42,503 --> 00:20:43,782
and help Adam.
490
00:20:43,871 --> 00:20:45,918
You are so generous.
491
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,502
And you are so not that woman.
492
00:20:48,642 --> 00:20:51,360
If you so much as lay one
French-manicured hand on him
493
00:20:51,512 --> 00:20:52,790
after I'm in the ground,
494
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,766
I will claw my way
out of the dirt,
495
00:20:54,882 --> 00:20:58,496
and I will haunt you the rest
of your slutty, drunk life.
496
00:20:58,686 --> 00:21:00,253
Hello! Is this on?
497
00:21:00,354 --> 00:21:01,793
Yeah, um...
498
00:21:01,890 --> 00:21:04,673
Sorry to interrupt
your little festival of denial.
499
00:21:04,826 --> 00:21:06,873
But, um...
500
00:21:06,994 --> 00:21:09,554
I just wanted to say
fuck you very much,
501
00:21:09,698 --> 00:21:11,009
U.S. of "A."
502
00:21:11,099 --> 00:21:12,666
Now, you can't tell us
503
00:21:12,767 --> 00:21:14,111
who deserves to be shackled
504
00:21:14,202 --> 00:21:16,953
by your, um,
your authoritarian system
505
00:21:17,104 --> 00:21:19,823
of identity.
506
00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:23,716
Baby Cathy is gonna live forever.
507
00:21:25,513 --> 00:21:26,792
Right here!
508
00:21:28,049 --> 00:21:29,583
That's awesome.
509
00:21:30,718 --> 00:21:32,478
Sayonara, suckers!
510
00:21:32,588 --> 00:21:33,963
Sean, come on.
Come back.
511
00:21:34,055 --> 00:21:36,902
Don't--
Oh, oh, please don't go.
512
00:21:37,058 --> 00:21:38,433
Oh, guys...
513
00:21:38,527 --> 00:21:40,125
Um...
514
00:21:40,229 --> 00:21:41,252
P-please don't go,
everyone.
515
00:21:41,330 --> 00:21:45,330
We--we have sushi
for days.
516
00:21:45,535 --> 00:21:47,391
Um...
517
00:21:47,504 --> 00:21:48,879
Y-you...
518
00:21:48,972 --> 00:21:50,123
I-if...
519
00:21:51,842 --> 00:21:52,801
- It's okay.
- Uh...
520
00:21:52,877 --> 00:21:55,116
It's okay, I got it.
521
00:21:57,949 --> 00:22:01,692
I just--
I wanted to say, um...
522
00:22:01,887 --> 00:22:03,518
You know, I'm--I'm--
523
00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:06,245
I'm very lucky to--
524
00:22:06,392 --> 00:22:09,078
to be alive to--
to see you all
525
00:22:09,228 --> 00:22:12,619
and to hear what I meant to you.
526
00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:13,854
You shouldn't wait until
someone dies
527
00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,404
to tell them how you feel.
528
00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:16,653
So thank you.
529
00:22:16,736 --> 00:22:19,007
I love you all.
530
00:22:19,139 --> 00:22:21,569
But most of all, I...
531
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:27,494
I'd like to thank baby Cathy.
532
00:22:30,017 --> 00:22:33,056
This baby didn't even
get a chance to live,
533
00:22:33,220 --> 00:22:35,043
and she affected all of us.
534
00:22:35,156 --> 00:22:37,939
She...
535
00:22:38,092 --> 00:22:40,236
She gave my brother a chance,
536
00:22:40,361 --> 00:22:42,440
even for a little while,
537
00:22:42,564 --> 00:22:45,889
to be really, really happy.
538
00:22:46,066 --> 00:22:50,225
And she brought out
this beautiful, maternal...
539
00:22:50,438 --> 00:22:54,372
side of her tough-ass mother
I had never seen before.
540
00:22:54,576 --> 00:22:59,022
And she brought all of you
here today for me.
541
00:22:59,247 --> 00:23:01,934
What a gift.
542
00:23:02,084 --> 00:23:04,675
Life is so precious,
and it's way too fucking short.
543
00:23:06,521 --> 00:23:08,792
So...
544
00:23:08,924 --> 00:23:12,443
Don't delay the happy.
545
00:23:12,630 --> 00:23:15,060
And thank you, baby Cathy,
546
00:23:15,198 --> 00:23:17,405
for reminding us all of this.
547
00:23:19,135 --> 00:23:20,190
To baby Cathy.
548
00:23:34,719 --> 00:23:37,311
You Americans
throw nice funerals.
549
00:23:37,455 --> 00:23:39,086
In Ukraine, we say one prayer,
550
00:23:39,189 --> 00:23:42,388
we throw you on the ground
and get drunk.
551
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,094
I'm just glad it's over.
552
00:23:44,195 --> 00:23:46,913
And that we didn't have
to look at some corpse.
553
00:23:47,064 --> 00:23:49,014
When I saw my grandma
laid out in her coffin,
554
00:23:49,133 --> 00:23:50,796
all waxy,
555
00:23:50,902 --> 00:23:52,661
I had nightmares for,
like, a month.
556
00:23:52,771 --> 00:23:54,018
I never need to see
another dead body
557
00:23:54,106 --> 00:23:56,921
for the rest of my life,
thank you very much.
558
00:23:57,077 --> 00:23:58,163
Don't turn around.
559
00:23:58,245 --> 00:23:59,971
What? What?
560
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,190
There might be
a deceased behind you.
561
00:24:02,316 --> 00:24:03,947
Oh, shit, shit.
I feel it.
562
00:24:04,052 --> 00:24:05,362
Look at me.
Look at me.
563
00:24:05,453 --> 00:24:06,604
Look me in the eyes.
564
00:24:06,687 --> 00:24:09,343
It will be over soon.
565
00:24:09,490 --> 00:24:12,306
I will protect you.
566
00:24:14,830 --> 00:24:16,493
You got nice eyes, Ukraine.
567
00:24:16,598 --> 00:24:19,509
Because they're looking at you.
568
00:24:20,770 --> 00:24:22,017
Damn.
569
00:24:22,104 --> 00:24:25,720
Death makes me horny.
570
00:24:25,908 --> 00:24:27,731
Mmm.
571
00:24:30,512 --> 00:24:32,944
Thanks for inviting me to your
mom's funeral, you koc.
572
00:24:33,083 --> 00:24:34,010
You're weird.
573
00:24:35,084 --> 00:24:36,268
I know I am, but what are you?
574
00:24:36,354 --> 00:24:38,081
- I'm awesome.
- You're awesome, dude!
575
00:24:38,190 --> 00:24:40,301
I know!
576
00:24:45,265 --> 00:24:47,888
I really sort of enjoyed
your faux funeral.
577
00:24:48,035 --> 00:24:49,281
It set the bar pretty high.
578
00:24:49,370 --> 00:24:51,544
Say what you want, but...
579
00:24:51,672 --> 00:24:53,750
Rebecca kind of got it right.
580
00:24:53,874 --> 00:24:56,337
I mean, if you're gonna go,
go big.
581
00:24:56,476 --> 00:24:59,004
It's your grand finale.
Why scrimp?
582
00:25:01,515 --> 00:25:02,763
Can I meet you in the car?
583
00:25:02,851 --> 00:25:04,161
I just gotta do one quick thing.
584
00:25:10,459 --> 00:25:12,986
I want the best
burial plot that you have.
585
00:25:13,128 --> 00:25:15,079
Full sun...
586
00:25:15,198 --> 00:25:17,244
Level ground...
587
00:25:17,367 --> 00:25:19,221
The more sun, the better.
588
00:25:19,335 --> 00:25:21,606
Consider this a down payment.
589
00:25:21,737 --> 00:25:23,176
Very good.
590
00:25:31,449 --> 00:25:32,439
It's open!
591
00:25:37,153 --> 00:25:39,392
Hey.
592
00:25:39,523 --> 00:25:41,538
That was a nice speech.
593
00:25:41,658 --> 00:25:42,745
Thank you.
594
00:25:44,828 --> 00:25:46,619
I'm sorry about my friends.
595
00:25:50,634 --> 00:25:52,297
Do you think...
596
00:25:52,403 --> 00:25:55,153
That we would be friends
if we met now?
597
00:25:55,305 --> 00:25:57,065
You know, as adults?
598
00:25:58,876 --> 00:26:01,402
Honestly, I don't know.
599
00:26:01,546 --> 00:26:03,560
Maybe we peaked in our 20s.
600
00:26:03,681 --> 00:26:05,824
Maybe we should have
left well enough alone.
601
00:26:05,950 --> 00:26:08,636
We had great memories.
602
00:26:08,787 --> 00:26:10,225
Would you and I
even be hanging out
603
00:26:10,322 --> 00:26:13,169
if I wasn't carrying
your brother's baby or...
604
00:26:13,325 --> 00:26:16,140
Would he and I
still be together?
605
00:26:16,295 --> 00:26:19,047
I don't know.
606
00:26:19,199 --> 00:26:21,438
Wait, are you leaving?
607
00:26:25,007 --> 00:26:27,118
I think that Sean and I...
608
00:26:27,242 --> 00:26:30,474
Both need somebody to take care
of us right now.
609
00:26:30,646 --> 00:26:32,373
And neither one of us
is up for it.
610
00:26:32,482 --> 00:26:34,753
So...I'm going back
to Chicago.
611
00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:37,348
Spend some time alone, you know?
612
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,400
Take care of Sean.
613
00:26:49,502 --> 00:26:51,710
Okay.
614
00:26:51,838 --> 00:26:53,757
He ran off before I even
had a chance
615
00:26:53,874 --> 00:26:56,977
to talk him, so...
616
00:26:57,144 --> 00:26:59,704
Rebecca, I'm so sorry
about the baby.
617
00:27:05,755 --> 00:27:08,634
I should have planted a tree.
618
00:27:08,792 --> 00:27:13,269
We'll paraphrase eternities
619
00:27:13,496 --> 00:27:18,806
and, oh, the evolutions
of your smile
620
00:27:19,067 --> 00:27:22,970
Remember, they're small.
621
00:27:23,172 --> 00:27:24,867
Just rock her.
622
00:27:24,974 --> 00:27:26,860
Let her know you're there.
623
00:27:26,976 --> 00:27:31,007
As the daylight's drawn in
624
00:27:31,214 --> 00:27:36,940
And the feeling fades away
625
00:27:37,221 --> 00:27:39,108
626
00:27:39,224 --> 00:27:43,287
but the bells are chiming
627
00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:47,046
and the heights of diamond
628
00:27:47,233 --> 00:27:52,128
as I'm trying to find my way
629
00:27:52,178 --> 00:27:56,728
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