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1
00:00:00,140 --> 00:00:01,586
Why don't we go around the room
2
00:00:01,587 --> 00:00:04,340
and everyone tell us your name
3
00:00:04,341 --> 00:00:06,980
and, uh, what brings you here.
4
00:00:07,589 --> 00:00:09,750
Why don't we start with, uh, you?
5
00:00:10,781 --> 00:00:12,341
Uh, okay. Yeah, hi.
6
00:00:12,342 --> 00:00:14,525
Uh, I'm Amy Sosa.
7
00:00:14,527 --> 00:00:16,711
Um, sorry, am I supposed to be standing?
8
00:00:16,713 --> 00:00:18,396
- Should I...
- It doesn't matter.
9
00:00:18,398 --> 00:00:20,031
Well, then I'll just roll with standing,
10
00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:21,485
since I'm already up here.
11
00:00:21,486 --> 00:00:23,167
Hope the rest of you stand
12
00:00:23,169 --> 00:00:25,069
so I don't look like such a weirdo.
13
00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:28,021
Okay, all right.
14
00:00:28,022 --> 00:00:31,576
Um, well, so, I have been
at Cloud 9 for 16 years.
15
00:00:31,578 --> 00:00:33,411
And I have always heard of
16
00:00:33,413 --> 00:00:35,279
the management training program,
17
00:00:35,281 --> 00:00:37,098
and I finally thought to myself,
18
00:00:37,100 --> 00:00:38,499
"Forget that blue vest,
19
00:00:38,501 --> 00:00:41,169
you better get that cloud tie, girl."
20
00:00:43,123 --> 00:00:44,202
So I'm very excited.
21
00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,258
- Um, I think...
- I'm Cheyenne.
22
00:00:47,260 --> 00:00:48,810
I work with Amy.
23
00:00:48,812 --> 00:00:51,295
Um, she suggested I come to the program,
24
00:00:51,297 --> 00:00:52,897
so I just thought, "Why not"?
25
00:00:52,899 --> 00:00:54,866
So long as she'd give me a ride.
26
00:00:54,868 --> 00:00:58,002
I can't drive right now,
'cause I have bees in my car.
27
00:00:58,004 --> 00:00:59,404
Um, okay thanks.
28
00:00:59,406 --> 00:01:02,590
Ladies, this is the
embalming conference.
29
00:01:02,592 --> 00:01:04,325
[projector whirring]
30
00:01:04,327 --> 00:01:05,843
- Oh.
- Okay, yeah.
31
00:01:05,845 --> 00:01:07,295
I think we're in the wrong room.
32
00:01:07,297 --> 00:01:09,555
We should... we'll just go.
33
00:01:09,556 --> 00:01:12,717
[upbeat music]
34
00:01:12,719 --> 00:01:14,456
♪ ♪
35
00:01:14,886 --> 00:01:17,136
To make the process easier,
we've broken down...
36
00:01:17,137 --> 00:01:17,497
Hi.
37
00:01:18,157 --> 00:01:21,021
- Is this the Cloud 9 Academy?
- Yeah, shh, mmhmm.
38
00:01:21,023 --> 00:01:21,631
Okay.
39
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,672
- [door slams]
- Ooh, that was loud.
40
00:01:24,673 --> 00:01:26,728
The first "L" of Leadership is loyalty.
41
00:01:26,729 --> 00:01:27,960
Leaders are loyal...
42
00:01:27,961 --> 00:01:31,461
Um, whoa, sorry,
would you sit over there
43
00:01:31,462 --> 00:01:33,039
so I could sit next to my friend?
44
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:33,770
Oh, no, Cheyenne, it's okay.
45
00:01:33,771 --> 00:01:35,458
Why don't you just take that chair?
46
00:01:35,831 --> 00:01:37,645
Oh. Um, okay.
47
00:01:37,646 --> 00:01:39,529
Leaders never stop learning.
48
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,175
Failure can be scary,
49
00:01:41,177 --> 00:01:42,416
but it's not something to fear...
50
00:01:42,417 --> 00:01:43,214
[thudding]
51
00:01:43,215 --> 00:01:45,836
You learn from every mistake
you make along the way.
52
00:01:46,846 --> 00:01:47,539
Ooh.
53
00:01:47,794 --> 00:01:49,086
There goes my jacket.
54
00:01:49,087 --> 00:01:51,252
[scraping and clanking]
55
00:01:51,254 --> 00:01:54,054
We were given two ears
and one mouth for a reason.
56
00:01:54,056 --> 00:01:56,857
We should all try to spend
more time listening...
57
00:01:56,859 --> 00:01:58,782
Could you just, um,
scoot over a little bit?
58
00:01:58,783 --> 00:02:01,118
Then I'll... I'll have enough
room to sit here too.
59
00:02:02,465 --> 00:02:04,466
'Cause I'm in the aisle right now, so...
60
00:02:05,433 --> 00:02:09,016
Because we don't have to hold the
specific position to be leaders.
61
00:02:09,016 --> 00:02:09,840
Thank you.
62
00:02:11,463 --> 00:02:13,167
I don't understand
why they make it so hard
63
00:02:13,168 --> 00:02:14,214
to apply for asylum.
64
00:02:14,661 --> 00:02:17,011
Applying to be a refugee was even worse.
65
00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:17,776
Really?
66
00:02:18,149 --> 00:02:19,785
No wonder we have so few refugees.
67
00:02:19,786 --> 00:02:22,243
I don't understand how
you could apply for asylum.
68
00:02:22,244 --> 00:02:23,825
[scoffs] It's not easy.
69
00:02:24,385 --> 00:02:26,190
"List your extended family." [chuckles]
70
00:02:26,191 --> 00:02:28,616
I'm Filipino, that'll take years.
71
00:02:28,617 --> 00:02:30,544
Says you need to show that
if you were sent back,
72
00:02:30,545 --> 00:02:32,368
you might be persecuted based on your,
73
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:35,019
"race, religion,
nationality, political opinion,
74
00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:37,205
or membership in a particular
social group."
75
00:02:37,854 --> 00:02:40,257
Well, I was in an a cappella
group once in school.
76
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:42,403
I mean, we weren't persecuted,
77
00:02:42,405 --> 00:02:43,848
but people were really judge-y.
78
00:02:43,849 --> 00:02:45,489
I think they mean
more like if you thought
79
00:02:45,490 --> 00:02:47,541
you might be arrested because
you were, like, a prominent
80
00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:48,879
Duterte critic or something.
81
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,711
Do you think they'd believe
Duterte would have me killed
82
00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:51,902
for being in an a capella group?
83
00:02:51,903 --> 00:02:53,239
'Cause we were really bad.
84
00:02:53,429 --> 00:02:54,930
Well, not me, I was good,
85
00:02:54,931 --> 00:02:56,727
but one guy was off-key all the time.
86
00:02:57,033 --> 00:03:01,127
Okay, Rose, say hi to everyone.
87
00:03:01,128 --> 00:03:03,524
Say hi. Say hi, come on.
88
00:03:03,752 --> 00:03:06,002
Say hi. Say hi.
89
00:03:06,796 --> 00:03:07,883
That's it, say hi.
90
00:03:07,884 --> 00:03:09,673
Okay, do we have to wait
till she develops speech,
91
00:03:09,674 --> 00:03:10,724
or can we just move on?
92
00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:13,578
It's Jerusha's day
to clean our pastor's gutters,
93
00:03:13,579 --> 00:03:15,547
so I get to bring her in.
94
00:03:15,548 --> 00:03:16,822
Dina, can you hold her for a bit
95
00:03:16,823 --> 00:03:18,649
while I set up her things in my office?
96
00:03:18,650 --> 00:03:20,229
Ooh, yeah, I'm really not a baby person.
97
00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:22,613
And for future reference,
I'm also not a wool sock person
98
00:03:22,614 --> 00:03:23,635
or a reptile person.
99
00:03:24,313 --> 00:03:27,087
But she's not just some random baby.
100
00:03:27,088 --> 00:03:29,136
She lived in you for nine months.
101
00:03:29,137 --> 00:03:30,933
Yeah, I guess it's like
if you're shopping at Goodwill,
102
00:03:30,934 --> 00:03:32,736
and you see an old shirt
of yours you donated,
103
00:03:32,737 --> 00:03:34,310
and you go, "Hey, that was my shirt."
104
00:03:34,311 --> 00:03:35,889
And for a second it feels meaningful,
105
00:03:35,890 --> 00:03:38,233
but then you realize it's not.
106
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:39,842
Fine.
107
00:03:40,272 --> 00:03:42,085
Uncle Garrett, looks like you're up.
108
00:03:42,086 --> 00:03:44,031
Oh, no I don't think that's a good idea.
109
00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:46,634
- I'm not good with kids.
- Just don't shake her.
110
00:03:46,636 --> 00:03:47,986
- Okay, so this is happening.
- Oh, my Gosh.
111
00:03:47,987 --> 00:03:49,585
- Okay. Okay.
- You're a natural.
112
00:03:50,324 --> 00:03:51,842
Daddy loves you, Rose.
113
00:03:51,843 --> 00:03:54,009
- [cooing]
- Yeah, if Daddy loved you,
114
00:03:54,011 --> 00:03:55,744
he would have gotten you a babysitter.
115
00:03:55,804 --> 00:03:57,437
Why don't you think about that?
116
00:03:57,566 --> 00:03:59,377
[babbles]
117
00:03:59,378 --> 00:04:00,873
It seems like a good spread,
118
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,360
but it was an even better
spread last year.
119
00:04:03,686 --> 00:04:05,138
They had cereal.
120
00:04:05,139 --> 00:04:06,135
Mmm.
121
00:04:06,382 --> 00:04:08,873
So, if you were here last year,
122
00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,595
why are you taking the class again?
123
00:04:11,267 --> 00:04:13,315
'Cause I didn't pass the first time.
124
00:04:14,151 --> 00:04:15,781
Thanks for making me say it.
125
00:04:15,782 --> 00:04:18,464
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
I really didn't mean to...
126
00:04:19,602 --> 00:04:22,396
[indistinct chatter]
127
00:04:22,397 --> 00:04:23,585
Excuse me, hi.
128
00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:24,571
Quick question:
129
00:04:24,572 --> 00:04:27,106
Is this a class that people fail often?
130
00:04:27,107 --> 00:04:29,476
Well, I mean, I wouldn't like
to call it "failing,"
131
00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,357
but yeah, people fail.
132
00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:32,569
Oh.
133
00:04:33,683 --> 00:04:35,282
I thought this was just sort of like
134
00:04:35,284 --> 00:04:37,866
a introductory seminar.
135
00:04:37,867 --> 00:04:40,254
If you don't mind,
this is a short break,
136
00:04:40,256 --> 00:04:41,805
and I'm trying to eat my breakfast.
137
00:04:41,806 --> 00:04:43,562
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, sorry.
138
00:04:43,563 --> 00:04:44,873
Danish away.
139
00:04:45,598 --> 00:04:46,840
I'm just gonna...
140
00:04:48,013 --> 00:04:49,757
It's just, I'm a little bit concerned,
141
00:04:49,758 --> 00:04:52,818
because I've waited so long
to do the manager thing
142
00:04:52,819 --> 00:04:55,219
and to kind of find out
all of a sudden that
143
00:04:55,221 --> 00:04:57,022
I could potentially fail out
on the first day...
144
00:04:57,023 --> 00:04:59,805
We only get so many breaks,
so I'm gonna hit this.
145
00:05:00,242 --> 00:05:03,471
Yeah, no, you should hit it. Yeah, okay.
146
00:05:06,115 --> 00:05:08,282
Just wanna make sure that
the interrupting thing
147
00:05:08,284 --> 00:05:10,184
isn't gonna affect the pass/fail...
148
00:05:10,186 --> 00:05:12,152
You know what, [bleep],
let's just start.
149
00:05:12,154 --> 00:05:13,175
Let's just start!
150
00:05:15,558 --> 00:05:19,391
So I was just folding pants,
and I had the best idea:
151
00:05:20,062 --> 00:05:21,589
I should take down Duterte.
152
00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:24,013
And you got that from pants?
153
00:05:24,014 --> 00:05:25,876
It's just so I qualify for asylum,
154
00:05:25,877 --> 00:05:27,727
but here, check out my Facebook page
155
00:05:28,130 --> 00:05:30,863
- "Ermagherd, Duterte."
- Mm-hmm.
156
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,099
"Rodrigo Duterte doesn't
respect human rights,
157
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,384
but that's none of my business,"
158
00:05:34,385 --> 00:05:37,137
over a picture of
Kermit the Frog sipping tea.
159
00:05:37,138 --> 00:05:38,216
That one's got a lot of likes.
160
00:05:38,217 --> 00:05:40,660
Yeah, I don't know that
reposting a bunch of memes
161
00:05:40,661 --> 00:05:42,358
qualifies you as a political dissident.
162
00:05:42,752 --> 00:05:43,830
Well, then what would?
163
00:05:44,259 --> 00:05:45,391
I don't know, uh...
164
00:05:45,917 --> 00:05:49,556
Actually being the leader
of an actual activist group
165
00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,319
that actually opposes Duterte.
166
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,172
Ugh, okay, fine.
167
00:05:54,191 --> 00:05:56,202
Marcus, I'm starting a group, you in?
168
00:05:56,203 --> 00:05:57,380
Definitely.
169
00:05:59,628 --> 00:06:01,180
Revolution begins.
170
00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:04,542
Now in the warehouse,
if your non-con feeders
171
00:06:04,543 --> 00:06:06,238
are doing full pallet pick...
172
00:06:06,239 --> 00:06:09,393
Amy, hey. What's a "non-con"?
173
00:06:09,395 --> 00:06:11,161
Non-conveyable, it's in the book.
174
00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:13,714
Amy, could you focus up, please?
175
00:06:13,716 --> 00:06:15,449
Yeah, no, I'm sorry.
176
00:06:15,451 --> 00:06:19,419
I was just, um... I'm sorry.
177
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:23,002
Anyway, it's called a warehouse,
178
00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:24,618
but don't let it wear you out.
179
00:06:24,619 --> 00:06:27,027
[laughs]
180
00:06:27,737 --> 00:06:29,960
Sorry, I... I'm just...
I'm laughing because
181
00:06:29,961 --> 00:06:32,204
I was listening... to you.
182
00:06:32,835 --> 00:06:35,936
It's not my joke.
It's part of the lesson plan.
183
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:38,194
You delivered it funny.
184
00:06:41,219 --> 00:06:43,334
So the next thing I would do is say,
185
00:06:43,335 --> 00:06:44,972
"Well, you better listen to me
186
00:06:44,974 --> 00:06:46,857
"or else I'm gonna go in the break room
187
00:06:46,859 --> 00:06:49,560
"and sprinkle a little bit of
pee on your food every day
188
00:06:49,562 --> 00:06:51,812
until all you're eating is pee."
189
00:06:51,814 --> 00:06:53,149
Uh-huh.
190
00:06:53,150 --> 00:06:56,567
Uh, preferred answer would be
find someone else
191
00:06:56,569 --> 00:06:57,842
to work the holiday.
192
00:06:57,843 --> 00:07:02,069
But, uh, thank you for sharing.
That was horrifying.
193
00:07:02,909 --> 00:07:06,066
All right, so, now you guys
are going to design
194
00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:09,129
a program to improve
customer satisfaction.
195
00:07:09,131 --> 00:07:11,298
Everyone pick a partner,
and choose wisely,
196
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:15,135
the wrong partner can
literally ruin your life.
197
00:07:15,137 --> 00:07:17,249
- Oh, you...
- Wanna work together?
198
00:07:18,418 --> 00:07:21,842
Uh, well, um... I... I don't...
199
00:07:21,844 --> 00:07:24,311
Gary, uh, probably not a great idea
200
00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:26,730
to work with someone
we already know, right?
201
00:07:26,732 --> 00:07:28,015
Oh, I don't care.
202
00:07:28,017 --> 00:07:31,636
Oh, well, Gary doesn't care, so, yeah.
203
00:07:31,938 --> 00:07:32,994
Baller.
204
00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,488
I was afraid I was gonna get
stuck with some dunce.
205
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,744
Mm-hmm. That would suck.
206
00:07:38,694 --> 00:07:39,690
Okay, how 'bout
207
00:07:39,996 --> 00:07:42,112
the International Anti-Duterte Society?
208
00:07:42,114 --> 00:07:43,779
I-A-D-S.
209
00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:46,250
No, wait, that's too close to AIDS.
210
00:07:46,252 --> 00:07:47,785
People don't wanna join something that
211
00:07:47,787 --> 00:07:48,474
reminds them of AIDS.
212
00:07:48,475 --> 00:07:51,056
- Right, right.
- [sighs]
213
00:07:51,757 --> 00:07:52,311
Okay.
214
00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:55,225
Outraged People...
215
00:07:55,928 --> 00:07:57,962
Rallying Against Hate.
216
00:07:58,662 --> 00:08:01,765
Are you just working
backwards from Oprah?
217
00:08:01,767 --> 00:08:03,968
I was, that's exactly what I was doing.
218
00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,135
I like it.
219
00:08:05,137 --> 00:08:07,393
You get asylum, you get asylum.
220
00:08:07,974 --> 00:08:09,306
It's what she does.
221
00:08:09,308 --> 00:08:10,724
Yeah, I know. I... I got it.
222
00:08:10,726 --> 00:08:11,366
Okay.
223
00:08:25,688 --> 00:08:27,116
Ow. [Thud]
224
00:08:31,213 --> 00:08:33,553
Really, this is how you care for a baby?
225
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:35,883
You just throw it in a cart
like a sack of margarine.
226
00:08:35,885 --> 00:08:37,084
"Sack of margarine"?
227
00:08:37,086 --> 00:08:38,585
Fine, bag of butter.
228
00:08:38,587 --> 00:08:40,054
Look, she's perfectly safe in there.
229
00:08:40,056 --> 00:08:41,337
You wanna take care of her?
230
00:08:41,338 --> 00:08:42,806
[scoffs] God, no.
231
00:08:42,808 --> 00:08:44,925
All right.
232
00:08:44,927 --> 00:08:47,311
[indistinct chatter]
233
00:08:49,849 --> 00:08:51,348
Nope, uh-uh.
234
00:08:51,350 --> 00:08:53,233
I'm not gonna let you
treat a baby this way.
235
00:08:53,235 --> 00:08:54,852
Not even Glenn's baby.
236
00:08:54,854 --> 00:08:56,937
It's not your fault
your daddy's an idiot.
237
00:08:56,939 --> 00:08:59,618
- [crying]
- Oh, okay.
238
00:08:59,619 --> 00:09:01,408
We'll go play some checkers or chess
239
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:02,943
or Trivial Pursuit, huh?
240
00:09:02,945 --> 00:09:04,912
[crying]
241
00:09:04,914 --> 00:09:06,413
Wasn't crying in the cart.
242
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:09,116
Okay, so, what if
we tried something like
243
00:09:09,118 --> 00:09:11,035
allowing our frequent customers
244
00:09:11,037 --> 00:09:13,003
to double up on their rewards points?
245
00:09:13,005 --> 00:09:16,707
Okay, or we could have, like,
a Cloud 9 gnome,
246
00:09:16,709 --> 00:09:18,759
and sometimes he would
give people, like,
247
00:09:18,761 --> 00:09:20,377
a hundred bucks,
but other times we would, like,
248
00:09:20,379 --> 00:09:21,441
squirt them with ink.
249
00:09:21,442 --> 00:09:24,138
And it's like, "Am I gonna
risk getting gnomed"?
250
00:09:24,884 --> 00:09:26,967
I like that area.
251
00:09:26,969 --> 00:09:29,803
Um, building on it, what if we had
252
00:09:29,805 --> 00:09:31,972
complimentary coffee for customers
253
00:09:31,974 --> 00:09:33,898
the first hour of every morning?
254
00:09:34,643 --> 00:09:36,944
Hmm, that sounds a little boring.
255
00:09:36,946 --> 00:09:39,897
Really? 'Cause I think it sounds cool.
256
00:09:39,899 --> 00:09:42,159
Morning coffee, we are on a roll.
257
00:09:42,952 --> 00:09:46,713
Amy, we're partners.
We can't just do your ideas.
258
00:09:47,323 --> 00:09:49,073
Yeah, no, I know. I know that.
259
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:50,499
I'm sorry.
260
00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:54,461
Okay, what if every Tuesday
is Mardi Gras day,
261
00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:56,728
and the less you wear, the less you pay?
262
00:09:57,459 --> 00:10:01,168
Mardi Gras Tuesdays, okay.
I'm gonna write that down.
263
00:10:01,170 --> 00:10:03,866
And I also wanna re-pitch my gnome idea.
264
00:10:06,142 --> 00:10:07,674
What do we think about this frog?
265
00:10:07,676 --> 00:10:09,426
It's very soft, but anatomically,
266
00:10:09,428 --> 00:10:11,428
they took a lot of liberties.
267
00:10:11,430 --> 00:10:12,629
This seems like a lot of work
268
00:10:12,630 --> 00:10:14,587
for a baby you don't have
feelings about.
269
00:10:14,984 --> 00:10:16,640
No, I mean, it's a human child,
270
00:10:16,641 --> 00:10:17,761
I don't wish it ill will.
271
00:10:17,762 --> 00:10:18,967
I'm not a psychopath.
272
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,188
I just don't particularly care
more about this baby
273
00:10:21,190 --> 00:10:22,689
than I do about that one.
274
00:10:22,691 --> 00:10:24,191
Who the hell is that baby?
275
00:10:24,193 --> 00:10:25,826
Uh, thanks. I'll be right back.
276
00:10:25,828 --> 00:10:26,866
I just gotta grab a few things.
277
00:10:26,867 --> 00:10:28,245
Oh, no this isn't child care.
278
00:10:28,247 --> 00:10:30,080
Oh, no, we don't provide this service.
279
00:10:30,082 --> 00:10:31,865
See, that's what it looks like
280
00:10:31,867 --> 00:10:33,534
when you don't care about a baby.
281
00:10:34,420 --> 00:10:35,611
Okay.
282
00:10:41,127 --> 00:10:42,876
Good.
283
00:10:46,882 --> 00:10:48,215
Come on, no.
284
00:10:48,217 --> 00:10:50,517
No. No.
285
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:51,769
No.
286
00:10:51,771 --> 00:10:53,387
[phone ringing]
287
00:10:53,389 --> 00:10:54,388
Hello.
288
00:10:54,390 --> 00:10:56,432
Oh, hey, Janet.
289
00:10:56,433 --> 00:10:59,109
Oh, yay. Hey, it's Glenn.
290
00:10:59,111 --> 00:11:01,278
- Who?
- Glenn, Glenn Sturgis.
291
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,286
I'll connect you.
292
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:03,864
No, no, no, Janet, don't hang up.
293
00:11:03,866 --> 00:11:06,984
Don't... [phone ringing]
294
00:11:09,738 --> 00:11:10,848
Glenn Sturgis.
295
00:11:11,407 --> 00:11:13,240
Stop Rodrigo Duterte.
296
00:11:13,242 --> 00:11:15,909
He's ruthless, he's anti-free speech.
297
00:11:15,911 --> 00:11:18,327
He's also brown
if any racists are interested.
298
00:11:18,328 --> 00:11:20,554
Hey, Sandra, are you busy later?
299
00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:22,882
Actually, yeah.
300
00:11:23,419 --> 00:11:26,003
We're pulling the plug
on my grandmother tonight.
301
00:11:26,005 --> 00:11:28,088
She was doing better for a while,
302
00:11:28,090 --> 00:11:31,558
then after her last stroke,
she just never bounced back.
303
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,942
Well, that... that sounds terrible.
304
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,263
I... I... we were just gonna ask
you to come to a meeting,
305
00:11:36,265 --> 00:11:37,010
but obviously you don't need...
306
00:11:37,010 --> 00:11:37,876
I can come.
307
00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:40,899
I just made that up
to sound like I had plans.
308
00:11:42,438 --> 00:11:44,634
Ooh, see you there.
309
00:11:46,442 --> 00:11:48,410
All right. Whoo.
310
00:11:50,831 --> 00:11:52,779
She's really fallen apart
311
00:11:52,781 --> 00:11:54,114
since that whole Jerry/Carol thing.
312
00:11:54,116 --> 00:11:55,745
- She is not okay.
- Yeah.
313
00:11:56,502 --> 00:11:59,614
Because by working together
we can achieve sat...
314
00:12:00,602 --> 00:12:02,040
- Iss...
- Faction.
315
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,254
Faction.
316
00:12:03,972 --> 00:12:07,985
Wow, okay, a real mix of ideas there.
317
00:12:08,091 --> 00:12:11,727
Some good, some a bit more terrible.
318
00:12:11,728 --> 00:12:14,564
But they tell us to start with the good,
319
00:12:14,566 --> 00:12:16,970
so free coffee in the
mornings, I like that.
320
00:12:17,569 --> 00:12:19,802
Thank you, we were
really proud of that one.
321
00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:22,973
Yeah, that was...
that was a team effort.
322
00:12:22,974 --> 00:12:24,777
And I actually really love
323
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,163
follow-up calls after large purchases.
324
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:28,578
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
325
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:29,742
Thanks. Thank you.
326
00:12:29,743 --> 00:12:31,272
Okay, now for the bad.
327
00:12:31,273 --> 00:12:34,130
Back-to-school belly button
piercings, awful.
328
00:12:34,131 --> 00:12:36,548
Cardi B appreciation days, terrible.
329
00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:39,860
And I can't comment on this
'cause I don't know what it is.
330
00:12:39,861 --> 00:12:41,138
What's... what's an aisle maze?
331
00:12:41,139 --> 00:12:43,604
I was a little bit confused
about some of those ideas too,
332
00:12:43,605 --> 00:12:45,679
but I believe they were
Cheyenne's ideas,
333
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:48,468
so Cheyenne could probably
explain it better.
334
00:12:48,469 --> 00:12:51,096
Um, w... what did you mean by
an aisle maze?
335
00:12:55,751 --> 00:12:57,541
An aisle maze is...
336
00:12:58,041 --> 00:13:01,002
when you move the aisles
around to make a maze.
337
00:13:01,003 --> 00:13:02,237
That was the idea.
338
00:13:03,067 --> 00:13:04,731
Yeah, it's one of those situations where
339
00:13:04,732 --> 00:13:07,003
the explanation doesn't make
the idea any better.
340
00:13:07,102 --> 00:13:07,645
Yeah.
341
00:13:09,316 --> 00:13:11,403
So, up next we're gonna do
a little role-play.
342
00:13:11,643 --> 00:13:13,118
Amy, why don't you be the manager,
343
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,119
and you're gonna talk to Cheyenne about
344
00:13:14,121 --> 00:13:16,498
her repeated absences.
345
00:13:17,158 --> 00:13:19,796
Your job is to communicate
your expectations
346
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:22,433
without making her feel like
she's being attacked.
347
00:13:22,463 --> 00:13:23,149
Okay?
348
00:13:23,583 --> 00:13:25,917
And... go.
349
00:13:27,625 --> 00:13:31,306
Um, hey, Cheyenne, you've been missing
350
00:13:31,308 --> 00:13:32,841
quite a bit of work lately.
351
00:13:32,843 --> 00:13:35,260
Um, I'm sorry, can we, um, time out?
352
00:13:35,262 --> 00:13:37,395
'Cause I'm starting to feel
attacked right now.
353
00:13:37,641 --> 00:13:40,148
How was I attacking you?
354
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:42,183
Well, it wasn't so much the words,
355
00:13:42,185 --> 00:13:45,153
but the way that she
is looking at me right now
356
00:13:45,155 --> 00:13:47,522
just makes it seem like
she is really angry.
357
00:13:47,524 --> 00:13:48,848
No, I... I wasn't.
358
00:13:48,849 --> 00:13:50,744
Hey, Amy, if that's what
you're giving off,
359
00:13:50,795 --> 00:13:52,318
try to accept it and correct it.
360
00:13:53,914 --> 00:13:54,825
Okay.
361
00:13:56,999 --> 00:13:58,083
Hey, sweetie.
362
00:13:58,368 --> 00:14:00,452
[belching]
363
00:14:00,454 --> 00:14:03,038
Harrison, stop burping
into the intercom.
364
00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,255
[belches]
365
00:14:04,257 --> 00:14:06,124
[sighs] Thank you so much.
366
00:14:06,126 --> 00:14:08,259
Okay, Piper, Peppa, be good.
367
00:14:08,261 --> 00:14:10,128
Oh, wait, no, this isn't a daycare.
368
00:14:10,415 --> 00:14:12,329
Our mailman's now our dad.
369
00:14:14,239 --> 00:14:16,698
Cool. Have a seat on the rug.
370
00:14:17,554 --> 00:14:20,572
Thank you all for coming to
the inaugural meeting of, uh,
371
00:14:20,574 --> 00:14:22,941
St. Louis Society Against Duterte.
372
00:14:22,943 --> 00:14:25,143
[applause]
373
00:14:25,145 --> 00:14:26,374
SLSAD.
374
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:28,883
Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
375
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,701
So, what kind of stuff
are we gonna be doing?
376
00:14:34,643 --> 00:14:36,555
That is a good question.
377
00:14:37,713 --> 00:14:39,661
Jonah, wanna handle this one?
378
00:14:40,932 --> 00:14:44,212
Um, we could... start with
379
00:14:44,214 --> 00:14:46,548
- a letter-writing campaign.
- Yes.
380
00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:48,316
Who would we write letters to?
381
00:14:49,329 --> 00:14:50,668
I guess Duterte.
382
00:14:50,893 --> 00:14:52,337
So does anyone know his address?
383
00:14:52,339 --> 00:14:54,422
Duterte imprisoned a lot of my family.
384
00:14:54,424 --> 00:14:56,502
I'd rather not be pen pals with him.
385
00:14:56,583 --> 00:14:58,259
Guys, we should march on something.
386
00:14:58,261 --> 00:14:59,427
What could we march on?
387
00:14:59,429 --> 00:15:00,929
How 'bout Washington?
388
00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:02,496
I was just gonna say Washington.
389
00:15:03,050 --> 00:15:04,265
- Yeah.
- Okay, how do we do a march?
390
00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:06,401
There's, like, eight of us,
that's more of a walk.
391
00:15:06,403 --> 00:15:07,986
I wouldn't mind taking a walk.
392
00:15:07,988 --> 00:15:09,237
- Yeah, I like a good walk.
- Yeah.
393
00:15:09,239 --> 00:15:10,321
Right?
394
00:15:13,577 --> 00:15:16,194
Please work, please work, please work.
395
00:15:17,664 --> 00:15:18,947
[grunts]
396
00:15:18,949 --> 00:15:20,365
[groans]
397
00:15:22,119 --> 00:15:24,252
Kylie, we can't use
our taekwondo moves on
398
00:15:24,254 --> 00:15:25,954
someone else's body, okay?
399
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,590
Leo, I don't care if your
father's a police officer.
400
00:15:28,592 --> 00:15:30,091
This is my jurisdiction.
401
00:15:30,093 --> 00:15:31,509
Your butt smells.
402
00:15:31,511 --> 00:15:33,378
That's not a burn,
it's true of everyone.
403
00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:35,238
I think Glenn's kid is getting hungry.
404
00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:36,381
Do we have any more of that formula?
405
00:15:36,383 --> 00:15:38,349
She doesn't drink formula,
she's still on breast-milk.
406
00:15:38,351 --> 00:15:39,467
I've been pumping
and selling it to Glenn
407
00:15:39,469 --> 00:15:40,635
for a dollar an ounce.
408
00:15:40,637 --> 00:15:42,387
It's Iranian saffron prices.
409
00:15:42,389 --> 00:15:44,055
I guess I could go pump.
410
00:15:44,057 --> 00:15:45,473
What? No. That... that'll take too long.
411
00:15:45,475 --> 00:15:47,108
Just do it right here. No, that's weird.
412
00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:49,444
Come on, go for it. Do it.
413
00:15:49,446 --> 00:15:50,612
[crying]
414
00:15:50,614 --> 00:15:52,614
All right, hey, listen to me.
415
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,449
You're out of control, okay?
416
00:15:54,451 --> 00:15:56,734
You're a baby,
your life is not that hard.
417
00:15:56,736 --> 00:15:58,037
You're embarrassing yourself.
418
00:15:58,038 --> 00:15:59,813
[crying]
419
00:15:59,814 --> 00:16:01,706
All right, fine.
420
00:16:01,708 --> 00:16:04,075
It's just that when you
beat up that dog,
421
00:16:04,077 --> 00:16:06,956
it really traumatized those deaf kids.
422
00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:10,415
I will try not to do that again.
423
00:16:11,056 --> 00:16:14,669
Um... can we circle back
to your absences?
424
00:16:14,671 --> 00:16:17,388
Well, I only skip work
because you're always
425
00:16:17,390 --> 00:16:21,226
telling racist jokes
and always making me
426
00:16:21,228 --> 00:16:23,311
sit on your lap during
performance reviews.
427
00:16:23,313 --> 00:16:24,395
Okay.
428
00:16:24,397 --> 00:16:25,763
And I'm not the only one.
429
00:16:25,765 --> 00:16:27,765
Sheila told me that
you're always making her
430
00:16:27,767 --> 00:16:29,350
give you back rubs.
431
00:16:29,352 --> 00:16:33,190
- Right, Sheila?
- Um... yeah.
432
00:16:33,323 --> 00:16:36,241
- Sheila.
- She did the same thing to me.
433
00:16:36,243 --> 00:16:38,576
Then she put her fingers in my mouth.
434
00:16:38,921 --> 00:16:40,278
Look, if we can just make up
435
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,996
whatever we want about everyone,
436
00:16:41,998 --> 00:16:44,616
well, then Sheila,
you put a bomb in your locker.
437
00:16:44,618 --> 00:16:45,884
Boom.
438
00:16:45,885 --> 00:16:49,588
And Terrence, you stole $40 billion
439
00:16:49,655 --> 00:16:51,256
from the cash register.
440
00:16:51,258 --> 00:16:53,291
And Cheyenne, you're going to jail,
441
00:16:53,293 --> 00:16:54,792
because you poisoned the Danishes,
442
00:16:54,794 --> 00:16:56,800
and now Gary's gonna die.
443
00:16:56,987 --> 00:16:59,263
Boo-hoo. You're fired.
444
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:03,184
What about a fundraiser?
We could do a bake sale.
445
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:04,769
What would we do with the money?
446
00:17:04,771 --> 00:17:06,771
I guess we pay off the supplies
447
00:17:06,773 --> 00:17:08,806
and then split anything
that was leftover.
448
00:17:09,557 --> 00:17:13,478
So wouldn't that just be
starting a baked goods company?
449
00:17:13,961 --> 00:17:15,697
Okay, how 'bout we do a rally?
450
00:17:15,699 --> 00:17:17,398
- [sighs]
- Put up some banners,
451
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:18,700
maybe get a band to play or something?
452
00:17:18,702 --> 00:17:20,094
I know someone at the local news.
453
00:17:20,095 --> 00:17:21,536
I bet they would do a story on it.
454
00:17:21,538 --> 00:17:23,488
No, guys, I say we get some rafts,
455
00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:25,373
and we get some paddles
and we take this guy down
456
00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:26,540
Bay of Pigs style.
457
00:17:26,541 --> 00:17:28,710
You know Bay of Pigs ended badly, right?
458
00:17:28,712 --> 00:17:30,461
For the pigs, maybe.
459
00:17:32,967 --> 00:17:36,630
All: Hey, hey, ho, ho,
Duterte's gotta go.
460
00:17:36,757 --> 00:17:38,011
Hey, hey...
461
00:17:38,012 --> 00:17:40,586
Wow, you guys got the news to show up.
462
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,762
- Doesn't that make you nervous?
- Not really.
463
00:17:43,764 --> 00:17:45,931
I'm just one of those people
that shines through the lens.
464
00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:48,100
If it were me, I'd probably be thinking,
465
00:17:48,102 --> 00:17:50,852
"Sayid, don't criticize
the government on camera,
466
00:17:50,854 --> 00:17:53,271
"because if it doesn't work
and you do get deported,
467
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,906
"you're definitely getting tortured
468
00:17:54,908 --> 00:17:56,308
and murdered over there."
469
00:17:57,027 --> 00:17:59,244
Anyway, I'm gonna go play Pokémon Go.
470
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:02,196
I hear there's a Snorlax
near the loading dock.
471
00:18:02,533 --> 00:18:03,698
All: Gotta go.
472
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:06,034
Hey, hey, ho, ho, Duterte...
473
00:18:06,036 --> 00:18:07,319
When I clean a window, I use Windex.
474
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,206
When I clean the tiles, I use Tilex.
475
00:18:11,208 --> 00:18:13,359
But when I clean the floors...
476
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,010
Oh.
477
00:18:18,048 --> 00:18:19,631
[grunting]
478
00:18:20,884 --> 00:18:22,134
[panting]
479
00:18:22,136 --> 00:18:24,219
Janet, Sarah.
480
00:18:24,221 --> 00:18:26,104
[panting]
481
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:29,724
Oh, um, I think a large bird
482
00:18:29,726 --> 00:18:32,144
may have pooped in
my office wastebasket,
483
00:18:32,146 --> 00:18:34,946
so if someone could clean that up.
484
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:36,950
He has lost his mind.
485
00:18:40,154 --> 00:18:42,307
That man [bleep] in his office.
486
00:18:43,276 --> 00:18:44,823
All right, everybody, you did it,
487
00:18:44,825 --> 00:18:45,824
give yourselves a hand.
488
00:18:45,826 --> 00:18:47,993
[applause]
489
00:18:47,995 --> 00:18:50,762
Don't forget on your way out
to pick up a diploma.
490
00:18:50,764 --> 00:18:53,081
There's a blank spot where
you can write in your name.
491
00:18:53,083 --> 00:18:55,667
Or if you really want,
I can try to figure out
492
00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:57,061
how to do it on the printer.
493
00:18:58,185 --> 00:18:59,087
Let's go, come on.
494
00:18:59,089 --> 00:19:02,090
[indistinct chatter]
495
00:19:02,092 --> 00:19:05,677
So, I kinda got in my own head today
496
00:19:05,679 --> 00:19:08,180
and probably could have been cooler.
497
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:10,182
Yeah, you sucked.
498
00:19:10,184 --> 00:19:12,100
For the record, you did imply
499
00:19:12,102 --> 00:19:14,269
I was a pill-popping workplace predator.
500
00:19:14,271 --> 00:19:15,937
I did, that was awesome.
501
00:19:15,939 --> 00:19:17,105
Hey, ladies.
502
00:19:17,431 --> 00:19:19,024
The guys from the embalming seminar
503
00:19:19,026 --> 00:19:20,775
invited us out for drinks.
504
00:19:20,777 --> 00:19:23,143
They said they could show us
the dead bodies.
505
00:19:23,947 --> 00:19:25,280
I mean, I could get a drink.
506
00:19:25,282 --> 00:19:27,032
Dead bodies? Hell yeah.
507
00:19:27,034 --> 00:19:29,549
I haven't been to a dead body
party since high school.
508
00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:30,473
Oh.
509
00:19:30,986 --> 00:19:33,672
The Philippines may be 8,000 miles away,
510
00:19:33,674 --> 00:19:35,207
but that isn't stopping
this protest against
511
00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:37,042
its controversial president.
512
00:19:37,357 --> 00:19:39,794
Mateo Liwanag is leading the rally.
513
00:19:39,796 --> 00:19:42,388
Mateo, tell us,
why do you oppose Duterte?
514
00:19:42,799 --> 00:19:47,219
Um, well, "oppose" is,
uh, kind of a strong word.
515
00:19:47,461 --> 00:19:50,881
Uh, I wouldn't say that we "oppose" him.
516
00:19:50,891 --> 00:19:51,476
Right, right.
517
00:19:51,477 --> 00:19:53,892
Yeah, we're... we're just, uh,
spreading awareness,
518
00:19:53,894 --> 00:19:57,812
uh, and information without judgment.
519
00:19:57,814 --> 00:19:58,901
- What?
- Yes.
520
00:19:58,902 --> 00:20:00,649
So the group you started,
521
00:20:00,651 --> 00:20:02,868
the St. Louis Society Against Duterte,
522
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:05,237
is not actually against Duterte?
523
00:20:05,239 --> 00:20:07,205
It's a big tent, you know?
524
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,666
Some of us are pro,
some of us are against.
525
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:11,076
Uh, and some are in the middle.
526
00:20:11,078 --> 00:20:12,410
Yeah, it's complicated, you know?
527
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,894
There's good people on both...
on both sides.
528
00:20:14,895 --> 00:20:15,193
Yeah.
529
00:20:15,194 --> 00:20:17,153
What are you guys talking about?
530
00:20:17,154 --> 00:20:18,334
The guy's a monster.
531
00:20:18,335 --> 00:20:20,697
- No, that's... I don't know...
- I never said "monster."
532
00:20:20,698 --> 00:20:22,921
I mean, that is your opinion.
Yeah, he-he...
533
00:20:22,923 --> 00:20:25,586
Hey, you better watch out, Duterte.
534
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:26,841
You're a dead man.
535
00:20:26,843 --> 00:20:28,176
When you wake up tomorrow,
536
00:20:28,178 --> 00:20:30,011
you're gonna be in a world of hurt,
537
00:20:30,013 --> 00:20:32,764
'cause this guy right here,
he's a comin' for ya.
538
00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:34,399
Mateo Liwanag.
539
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,101
- And you remember that name...
- Don't...
540
00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:38,103
- Mateo Liwanag.
- That's not my name.
541
00:20:38,105 --> 00:20:39,437
- Ma-te-o.
- And cut.
542
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:43,208
♪ Arroro mi nino ♪
543
00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:46,711
♪ Arroro mi sol ♪
544
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:49,424
You like the baby, you like the baby.
545
00:20:49,425 --> 00:20:50,624
I wouldn't say "like."
546
00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:51,753
Hey, guys.
547
00:20:52,386 --> 00:20:54,052
I'm so sorry I'm late.
548
00:20:54,054 --> 00:20:57,305
I... I got stuck,
but I can take Rose back now.
549
00:20:58,275 --> 00:20:59,975
Come on, baby.
550
00:20:59,977 --> 00:21:01,226
Come on.
551
00:21:01,228 --> 00:21:02,055
Oh.
552
00:21:02,056 --> 00:21:04,396
Oh, thank you for watching her.
553
00:21:04,774 --> 00:21:06,815
Daddy had a big day.
554
00:21:10,137 --> 00:21:11,567
You mean this is...
555
00:21:12,155 --> 00:21:13,872
A crime? Yeah.
556
00:21:14,246 --> 00:21:17,035
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