Original subtitles

In the 16th year of Kang His Emperor Kang His got a weird disease

He was lacking of strength and spirit

He couldn't eat and sleep

the doctors were helpless

The emperor was dying

he had no choice but took grass to kill pain

You Majesty, do you feel it funny?

Summon the Royal Magician

Summon the Royal Magician

Thank God

If you can't help me

I have to serve God then

You Majesty is blessed by God

Now, I have got 50 holy birds and hundreds of treatments

May God bless you

Tell me what you have in mind

Your Majesty

The informer has got secret massage for you

Your Majesty

we've got an armament book of betrayer Wu San Kwai

"Invincible Time Adventure Wheel"?

Your Majesty, it's the blessing of God

Long life to Your Majesty

The real king arrived

The Phenix hasn't returned

If there is a match of dragon and phenix

not in the past and not in the present

Not in the past and not in the present? What does the mean?

Don't worry, we may use the

Invincible Time Adventure Wheel

to go to 300 years later

get the real queen back to cure your illness

Who should do this?

I remember Your Majesty has a good friend

he is smart and perverted and he is always lucky too

He is the best guy to do it

I have to make good choice tonight

Don't let it be the Princess, no princess

I want you tonight

Tsang Yau...

Please, don't make it be Princess

If it is Princess, I will kill you

Tsang Yau...

The Princess will serve you tonight Your Excellency

My God

It is Tasng Yau

I want you tonight

Shit, I am dying

Watch the door carefully

His Excellency isn't there

don't come in by force

Don't do that, don't push me

I haven't put on clothes yet

You two are useless

It's useless to pull me my clothes are so heavy

I walk slowly, so what?

I said I would go in

Your Highness

What do you mean by dressing like this?

Nothing, because of seeing you

so I dress decently

Why don't you bring the shield together?

Oh yes, you reminded me

What are you looking?

You will know it when you grow up

Get out...

Go to bed now

Go yourself

Let me help me

Honey

tell me what we are going to play tonight

I will take care of you

You'd take care of me

What is stabbing me?

It may kill, honey

You are my husband, we want to make

a new life tonight

Your Highness...

Your Excellency, come and receive the Royal Instruction

His Excellency is busy

it's Ok of not kneeling

Here is the Royal Instruction

Wai Siu Bo should now go to the palace to greet His Majesty

Honey, I have no other choice

I have to greet

His Majesty now

Ah Ford, prepare the sedan chair

Wait, you should finish our matter first

But it's man's duty to repay the country

Maybe, I am useful in the coming mission

Let's forget our affection first

No, finish the matter first

No, let me go to the palace first

Finish our matter first

Go to the palace first

Let's finish it on the way to the palace

Fine

Ok

Higher, higher, use more force...

I have tried my best

Honey, I am not satisfied I am waiting for you

I am the perverted but handsome lady killer

Wai Siu Bo

long life to Your Majesty

Get up please

Thank you, Your Majesty

You summoned me urgently

may I know what happened?

There is an important matter come and discuss it

Your Majesty, from the taste your grass is not good enough

Why not try this? From Thailand

Ok, let me try this

This is sent by Eunuch Chan

You Majesty, don't take too much

Please take care

It's really great

It'll get high easily

It's boring, let's go out for a walk

Fine

I am too excited to exceed you

Please forgive me

Don't talk in this way

Damn you something bothers me so much

Please instruct me anything

you want me to do for you

I will try my best to do it

Cut the crap, I take you as my best friend

Now, I have a difficult task for you

to handle it on my behalf

If you are my friend

you'd promise to do this for me

I treat Your Majesty more than a friend

I worship you as God

Really?

Especially it's the difficult time of your country

No matter how hard is the job is

l, Wai Siu Bo, will never scare

Damn you

You bastard, you always

make use of your friendship

The mission I mentioned

is related to the

Time Adventure Wheel

That is the "Time Adventure Wheel"?

It's very colorful, isn't it made by gold?

It's like a tea pot

Your Majesty

What's the use of it?

Can you explain it to me?

It can bring you to 300 years later

Why should I go to 300 years later?

To find a wife

I have got 7 wives I don't think I need anymore

But what a pity that, I have none

You are right, but none of my business

Siu Bo, come and have my order

Yes, Your Majesty

What's wrong?

Isn't it the invasion of the enemies?

How to sit?

Your Majesty the tea pot becomes carbon

Your Majesty

the wheel has just been tested but cause explosion

It's become ashes now

I can tell by looking at this

Please forgives us, we've tried our best

Well

just forget this

I hope to compensate

The last one must be successful

Set out the day after tomorrow

Just make another try

A try? Your Majesty my luck in gambling is very poor recently

If you don't want to go... may I go myself?

I've to go then

Master, I don't know

whether I can come back alive or not

I treat you great food this time

Enjoy it. Don't waste it

Hope you would bless me to be safe.

Please

Master, you look good

You must have fun, right?

Your Excellency, time's up, let's play

No. I am not in good mood

if you want to play, play me

Yes

I have to test whether the charm functions or not

Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed

Why nobody appears?

He will show up when I tell the charm

He must have gone to the toilet

Siu Bo, what are you looking for master?

Master

Nothing

I just want to test whether the charm functions or not

Damn you, why do you ask me for?

I damn you!

If there is nothing special, I am leaving

See you

Time's changed, Master is so rude too

Raise the 7 lanterns

Slowly, put it right here

Hubby, how are you? Are you feeling bad?

Give His Excellency some nutritious food

Stop pretending, it won't harm

I said, it would be alright, then it's alright

Hubby, I have to give you something

The Jade Busts?

I want you to remember me only don't touch any other woman

I have my own idea

Sister, hubby is so weak

Why not give him some help to ventilate his blood?

Fine

Help him up

Use your power, but don't...

Being taken care by the mistress

His Excellency must be alright

Hope His Excellency will recover soon

Your Majesty, time's up

Your Excellency, just face to North East

turn 18'...

Cut the crap

just tell me how to get the queen

Your Excellency you are blessed by the God

The queen is born in March 9, at 3-5 am

the year of wood. A virgin

Virgin? It's hard to distinguish from the appearance

So, I have prepared a crystal bar for you

When you touch the virgin

bright golden light will be shown

Really? How about bitch?

It she is a bitch bright red light will be shown

Siu Bo

I am now giving you a Royal Sword and 3 boxes of jewels

Try your best

Thank you, Your Majesty

Your Excellency, this way please

Shut the door

Wait!

Your Majesty, you'd remember the thing you have promised me

Shut the door...

Wait, I want to piss

Shut the door

Let's go!

Is this the world of 300 years advanced?

It smells good

What kind of dog is it?

Don't chase after me

Damn it, get lost

Why am I here? Is he the one who saved me?

He doesn't seem to be a bad guy

Mainlander, raise up your legs

Eat this first

It's lucky of you to be saved by me from the toilet

Otherwise, you would have been socked to death

What place is it?

Who are you?

What place? This is the HQs of the

Northern District of RHKPF...

I'm kidding! I mean it's a common police station in Ma Ye Fat Village

I am the station sergeant

Everybody calls me Uncle Wah

But those who don't know me they will call me police or Sir

That's equivalent to your "Gong On" that's security officer

You speak too fast, I can't understand all

Can you repeat once?

Not necessary

can you explain what is a police?

The one who keeps law and order

Stop pretending in front of me

I know you are an illegal immigrant

Eat this bowl of noodle then I will take you back

Back? Back to where?

Who is the emperor?

I want to discuss something with him

Emperor? That is the emperor

A foreigner? That means

the Ching Dynasty was finished

Ching Dynasty? You idiot

Is the Heaven and Earth Society still the first society in the world?

The No.1 society in Hong Kong is the Royal HK Jockey Club

Jockey Club?

So I have to visit it

You are wonderful but you don't have any I.D. card

What is I.D. card?

Cut the crap

I have to take you back before Chiu's return

Ah Chiu is difficult to handle

He will drive crazy when seeing the Mainlander

What is meant by drive crazy?

Just look at me, and then you'll know it

Master?

Master! No one can save you this time

Mainlander

Master, I am glad you are here

This is the suit always dream of

Why can't buy this in the toy's shop?

Tell me, tell me

Master, what'd I tell you?

Tell me...

Ah Chiu, don't be so impulsive

What am I going to tell you?

Why don't you tell?

What am I going to tell you?

You'd ask me first

Tell me why can't I get this suit

in the toy's shop?

This is my daily dress

Master, where is your pig tail?

It's hidden underneath

Mainlander don't you think this gun is fake?

Where do you come from?

I am not a mainlander

Tell me, tell me now or I'll shoot you to death

I mean it, I am not kidding

Ah Chiu, you will drag me down

In fact, Sha Tau Kok is not bad

The air is fresh, the job is easy

Don't dream of being transfer red to the city

If you don't listen to me

I will commit suicide in front of you

Ok, let me help you

You can't even make it

Uncle Wah, why do you play firecracker early in the morning?

It's not firecracker

it's farting competition

All the things are broken

Nothing, nothing

Why don't you do the normal procedures now?

Stop arguing, let me say something first

Your case is not serious than mine

Uncle Wah, listen to me...

Stop, one by one, tell slowly

Uncle Wah I want a divorce with my husband

Ah Chiu, come and help

You can't blame me

I hit you because I want to help you indeed

Chan Kan Nam, are you my master?

Now, only two of us are here

you may tell me frankly

What?

I am Siu Bo

You are Siu Lo Bo, I am Siu Chi Cha

The Iron Teacher asked me to beat you up

How is your hand?

I tell you, I hate Mainlanders

Why do I hate Mainlanders

because...

Nothing special, I love beating

Where can I find the girls?

This way it's not a problem of not following me

I hate people walk here

and there when I am talking

You made me feel annoyed

Just some old grannies

Did I come a wrong place?

You are sick! What did you stab me with?

What am I up to?

I hate louse most in my life

It's not a problem of being itchy

but shaving hair is not lucky

Today, the temperature of the sea is 25'C

with mild wind from SE...

Are you ready?

Cut the crap, I am treating you good

I will let you go this time

Take care

Where is the road?

Down below is the sea

Swim back to China

I don't know swimming

Then fly

I don't know flying too

Do you think I am easily bribed?

Don't you think you can get rid of me that easily?

See you, Mainlander

Uncle Wah, you know, I am too lonely

Don't learn on me

so many people will pass by

My sex life with my hubby is not satisfactory

I want to divorce with him and follow you then

I won't bother you, I want to take a rest

Loan Shark Hung is looking for you

Shit!

Your hubby is looking for you

you know?

Really?

I am leaving, Uncle Wah, bye bye

Bye Bye...

Pal, some illegal immigrants are hiding

in Sai Kung Ship Factory

I will go and arrest them tonight

Call your boss

ask him to send some help for me

I will achieve something this time

Where can we get help?

We may get some cows, they are outside

Damn you!

Chiu, your information is fake

If you want to achieve something

fix these files first

Damn!

Chiu, these files are all about you

For these, they complain you of not paying your debts

Damn!

Ah Chiu

Enough, don't complain against me anymore

How can you be my boss?

How can you be my fellow?

Go and do your soapy show

Go and act Ah So

You love gambling so much do you have any planning?

Uncle Wah, let's go for a movie?

I've bought the tickets

See you at 7 pm, outside the cinema

I can't help of being so handsome

Oh, brother Kei and brother Shui

I am sorry, wrong information

I have found a wrong place sorry for bothering

Why don't you ask Chiu to come up?

Brother Choi

you seldom play in the Fun Land

I come to you on behalf of 7 casinos

& 9 brothels of Yau Tsim District

The sum, total is $150,000

If you don't have money leave your organs

I am the outstanding police &

the image designer of the Special Unit

Give me face

I will give your mom face

My mom wants to send her regards to you too

Don't push me

Where do you get this stuff from?

Brother Choi, I am not fooling you

you can take anything of mine

But this, my treasure which worth

4 millions, you can't take away

I will live and die with this jade

If you want to take it away

you'd give me some cash

I can't tell

it's so important to you

You will live and die with this jade, right?

go to hell then

It hurts

Who threw me with this? It hurts

Which bastard did it?

Brother Hung, he is the bastard

I am sorry, brother Hung

Brother Hung, sister in law

Sister in law

$100,000

$100,000?

I said $100,000, that is $100,000

You needn't that much

she is slightly hurt only

$100,000 is enough for plastic surgery too

It's me who gives you the sum

What? This jade is more that $100,000

You are expert in jade

Ask Brother Hung to add some more

Cut the crap

Hung said $100,000, that's $100,000

Let's make it a deal

Thank you Brother Hung why just $50,000?

You should pay the medical fee of my wife

It's fair, very fair

it's an advantage of taking him as boss

It's hard to find another one in this world

you'd be obedient

Brother Choi

Shut up!

Don't fool me, brother Choi

This is for you

Brother Hung, this is the interest

If there is any more antique bring it to me at once

No need of waiting

I am going to take my granny to you now

See you, boss

How dare you false impersonated my master & push me to the sea!

Luckily the waves brought me to the shore

If I see that skinny again

I will teach him a good lesson

Not here?

Someone is here

Let's see that skinny is here or not

Let's see that skinny is here or not

It's so big

Undress?

Even the trousers too?

Bathing?

Great!

Fantastic!

Turn, turn...

Thief, a thief has broken into the village somebody help...

I am despicable. I am cheap...

I don't mind you hating me, beating me

or castrating me...

Even, raping me

Pal, what are you bull-shitting?

Please let me go first

do whatever you like

Are you telling the truth?

I know, even my death won't compensate anything

It's really great

So white and smooth...

It won't compensate

the injuries of this pretty girl

So I decided...

to leave this place of sorrow

Wait

you should set us free first

Come back, set us free

Before I leave

I will disclose a big secret of this village

What? I want to divorce

because I want to get uncle Wah only

Right, I've plastic surgery of my busts

it's been over 10 years

Quiet!

Shut up!

The secret is, there is a...

treasure in this village

Really? Tell me then

What's the matter? How can you trust such lies?

The treasure is hidden somewhere around the mountain

You should discover it yourself

May I dig it out and

send it to your home?

You should do it yourself, you idiot

Dismiss!

Jewels

Jewels?

I am rich now

It's true, there is treasure we are going to be rich

Don't you think I am a hawker of selling fish balls?

go and dig separately

Let's go on digging

Go, hurry up...

Master Bo...

Brother Chiu

Master Bo

Can't you go to sleep? Brother Chiu

Master Bo...

Do you mean to let me go?

Did you push me to the sea?

Master Bo...

180' Whirlwind Wonder Kick

Please don't...

Chiu, what's happened?

Ah Chiu has fallen to the sea

Don't you think it's my palm?

Shut up, Ah Chiu looking for treasure in the sea

Go on digging

I hate others pushing me to the sea from my back

Look at you

you are all wet, you are trembling

Dry your body first

Thank you

Brother Bo, there is dust on your face

I have clean it for you

Brother Bo, are there any more treasure?

Are you poor?

No, I don't mean it

I am going to wash the underpants for you

Master Bo, is the noodle delicious?

You are Chinese

I am Chinese too

Maybe, we are one family in future

Let's be good friends

we are Mainlanders too

You are Mainlander, I am Chinese

Mainlander, Chinese

we are upper class too

The jade which we are all eyes

is a valuable jade, you know?

My friend

gave $100,000 for it

You are obedient

I will take you as my fellow

Great, thank you master Bo

What advantage do I have?

It's too generous of you

But you should promise 3 conditions first

Ok, no problem

I will take care of your living but you should obey me

No problem

How about the 2nd condition?

You'd find a virgin for me

It's quite difficult, but I will try my best

How about a virgin boy?

Third...

No problem, no problem

You should not be that troublesome

Alright!

Hello!

Hello!

Where are you?

I am here, Master Bo

What are the favorites of the girls nowadays?

Money, or flower

Do you want me to massage for you?

Fine, what is massage?

Wonderful scenery

Good morning Miss

Oh, it's you

Yes!

What are you coming for?

I want to make friends with you

Go now, scumbag

The cheque

Go now!

Do you want me to go? Do you want to go against money?

You are idiot

What is meant by idiot?

Chiu, why did you piss everywhere?

I pissed! Don't you think it was shitting?

Master Bo, why don't you talk to me?

Why do you have a long face?

A wrong road

I have arranged wonderful programmers for you

Let's eat the shushi first

and then play TV games, and then skating

Master

just fix him as you like

Anyway, make him like a human being

Fine!

What are you doing? You can't cut it

It's unlawful in Ching Dynasty

I can't let you cut it

Don't keep it, cut it

I have warned you, go to hell

I have warned you, why do you still cut it? How about queue?

Fine!

Just make a pig tail

This is the busiest place in HK Tsim Sha Tsui

There are many shopping centers

many pedestrians

many taxi, many police

Many jewel shops, many poles

many bars...

In Tsim Sha Tsui East

there are many people kissing

Kissing

Yes, do you know kissing?

Does it need money?

If not, let's go and try

Some does and some doesn't

You can't find the queen in such a hurry

Before getting her, you live in my place

About the living expense you'll be responsible

I have no idea, we are buddies, right?

Your home is so simple

I can't sleep if no one serves me

You need money to look for the Queen

This cheap stuff costs 2 or 3 hundred dollars

Give it to me

Ok, take it

Taxi fare is very expensive

I want to look for her in Kowloon

Undress it, undress it

Take them

It's enough to go to Shenzhen

Thank you

You're stupid

I have heard that the taxi fare starts from $9

Isn't it true?

It's true

Are you hurt?

Don't pretend to be hero

What good stuff do you provide today?

Nothing, just common stuff

It's the gallstone of Princess Cheung Ping of Ming Dynasty

Let me measure it for you

How dare you cheat me again?

Up to you, the amount is alright!

I will take the prepuce of Kang His for mortgage

Alright! Ok man! Give me a five!

Hey, Big Eyes

Come in!

I've got the queen you want

I have bought the hot lemon water for you too

I have to work, put it down first

You are working hard

So ugly, I wonder, it won't be her

I saw her once in the nightclub

How long should we take to learn this subject?

About 2 to 3 years!

2 to 3 years?

Get lost

No problem!

What kind of soap you are using? lts taste is good

I won't tell you

Antiseptic Liquid?

No!

Toilet cleaning powder?

Go to hell!

Shit!

You dragged me down

Stay calm, there is only one machine

out of work, I'll repair soon

All are on strike!

I am going to call the masters here

Damn you...

You are wise you know I have got some trouble

The case you asked me to investigate is going to be Ok

Really?

In half years time

I am sure I can get the news

How can you clam this as the words told by a human being?

Can't you wait for 6 months?

Damn you!

Let's run for our lives

Next

Are you Miss Chung please show me your hand

Right hand

do you mind holding my stuff?

What stuff?

This is the one I mentioned

Thank you

Cheap guy!

You may go now

I will call you tonight

I have a night shift, let me look for you ok?

Ok!

Next

Are you Miss Wong, hold it

Why is it green?

It's not red nor gold what does that mean?

It's fixed

Have you been taken any advantage by others?

No, but I have drunken once

When I woke up I discovered that I lost my virginity

I haven't found it back yet

Have you called the police?

No!

So, you are not a virgin?

Idiot, are there so many virgins?

Go and search in the kindergarten

You are idiot

She is right

Next

Sorry

No need to apologise

Where is the file?

Go and check it

Should it be that tough?

You are tough too

File! Where is the file?

Don't check the files, fix little brother first

Give me the files what do you want to know?

What's wrong with that table?

The beauty is from Thailand

The meat of Thailand is delicious too

The durian of Thailand is even great

Yes

Ah Chiu, I want to go out

Master Bo...

Do you have anything for me to play?

Yes

You have wonderful skill

Miss, we always meet each other

remember?

Where are you going?

It smells sweet, have you just bathed?

What kind of soap do you use?

Are you still alive?

Siu Ha, are you going out of the village?

Really?

Dead? Whenever I see you, I want to die

You have honey lips

It is smart too

How do you know?

How do you feel?

Where are you going to? Take me for a ride please

Are you leaving me alone?

I am dying for running a long time

Don't follow me

I don't want it either

But I can't help

meeting you

I think, I have fallen for you

But I don't have any good impression

of you, but hatred

Don't worry, I'm confident

to make you change your mind

I will make you loving me

I won't be in love with a dog

Why do you say yourself is a dog?

The trousers are pretty

It smells good

Honey, who is this guy?

He is Siu Ha I mentioned to you some times ago

Oh, it's her

you have made a clever choice

You are lovely

Is he your new boyfriend?

No exactly

He is my future husband

You can't find any better

but you needn't find the worst one

No, it's matched

Really matched

Pal, how can you

insult me in the public area?

So what?

The one next to you doesn't seem to be great

She has bad breath

You are right?

I said you, bitch!

Say once more if you have guts

Since you like me to do it, we'll do it

You are common & with bad breath

You...

Let's don't discuss with such uncivilized man

Let's go over there

Honey, let's go up to see the clothes

Go there yourself I will wait for you right here

Bastard!

How is it? When will you be free?

I want to take your life

Honey, I was attacked

Honey, it's not reasonable they hurt you seriously

What's the hell!

How can you beat her so seriously?

Who asked her to look at me?

How can you stayed with the long hair

triad

You'll be sold to brother sooner or later

You are shameless, you are cheap

Why did you hit her?

It's a must for beating him

How dare you hit me too

Go now!

Why do you hold my hand?

Nothing, I feel dizzy, come and help me

I have to sue you

Let's start everything from New York

The foreigner's land?

It's New York Cinema

The cinema of the foreigner?

It's a love story

He said

he would treat me the way that guy treats the leading lady

Never ending love. Never separate

Pal, is it fish? Is it fresh?

Of course it is

Steamed it please

Cut it slim, no, it's too thick

Steamed?

What? You are too poor

More than that, he found me

he said he wanted to engage with me

But, the night before engagement we've not yet made up our minds

What is it?

Toro

Put it in the hot water for a while

I don't like eating non-cooked food

You idiot!

That's too much

Yes, he is beast

May I be excused

Her life is so poor

But, you have to court her too

Luckily, I have brought this bottle "Perverted for 7 days" with me

How can you escape from me?

Why not perverted for half month? lt'll perverted anyway

Mister, the cooked toro

Thank you!

You bastard, I have been busy

searching the queen for you

But you hide up and eat

You wasted my effort

Well, let me repay...

repay you money, Ok?

Ok, let me eat this

No

Miss, are you alright?

Oh, you are courting girl it can be forgiven

Siu Ha, what's the matter? Are you sick?

Feeling dizzy? You must have though too much

Let me take you for a rest

You must have too much sorrow

Drink some...

There was a cup right here

Shit!

What're you doing? I have taken your soft drink only

No, everything is finished

You will be dead meat!

Am I dying? I will gain few hundred thousands again

You leave first, I will pay the bill

You'd be dead meat!

I want a pock-chop rice with egg

more pork chop, egg & rice

You want 2 orders, right?

Will you come to my home for a while?

It's too late, make it another day

Another day? Sister Ha

in fact, our stories are almost the same

That's why I have guts to...

Shit, you go home first

I have to take a look at Chiu

Be careful!

I want to kiss your face

which is as smooth as the egg tart

I want it!

I am dying!

Ah Chiu

Help, what did I eat?

it becomes so big!

Your dick was like a pen in the past

Cut the crap, now, there are 2 methods

1 st, find a girl

Or, I will push the poison out by using my Kung-fu

Come on!

Don't go!

Ah Chiu, what are you doing?

No, I am a man

Chiu, don't! Let me find you a woman

Has the ambulance arrived yet?

my friend is almost beaten to death

Beat me, if it goes on like this

I don't want to be alive

You bastard, shut up

How dare you use that to stab my ass?

Don't you think I mean it?

Other than ass, where can you get

another hole from your body?

Damn you

Yuen Chun, he is the Kung-fu master I employed from Russia

I have an important mission

That is, you two should go to

300 years later, to kill Wai Siu Bo

You can't fail in this mission

Yes

I have made up my mind the queen is a woman

In Hong Kong, night club is a place which is filled with women

That's good, don't lie to me

In the nightclub, it's full of fun

If you don't take care you will be drowned by the women

Master Bo, are you very tired?

No, I am afraid of throwing up

You are right

where have the beauties gone?

Master, what's wrong with you?

I understand...

Manager

What's the matter, Sir?

Master Bo, be patient

Manager, the girls...

Any problem?

They are not qualified

what shall I do then?

Let me change them for you

That's too good, change you too

Babies, let's go

Sorry, I am really sorry

I have nothing to throw up soon

Have they gone?

Almost

Boss, are you satisfied with them?

I am dying, I am dying

Boss, enjoy yourself, I am leaving

Manager, come over here

Boss, what's up

are they not good?

You may change them again and again

No, I don't mean it

Please ask the damn guy get out of here

Which damn guy? Brother Chiu?

Yes

Brother Chiu... Brother Chiu

What's the matter?

Bo said, he wanted that bastard to leave here

Which damn bastard?

That's you

Be smart, maybe

he wants to discuss something with you

Fine!

Master Bo, enjoy yourself

Go and serve Master Bo now

Manager, what's is matter?

You are bad why haven't you come in these days?

How can you complain me?

You are disgusting your friend loves fooling around

He takes 5 together!

Let's wait and see when he gets sex disease

Brother Choi

Who are you? Why don't you knock first?

I know him

My friend. We are good friends

Cut the crap, you seem like dying

Why don't you serve me don't you think I am invisible?

Come out!

Cut the crap if you've no money

I won't mind you beating him

But you can't take the girls away

Forget it, life is valuable

stay away from AIDS

You are right

So, I have to stay away from you you are gay

How do you know that I am gay?

What are you looking?

It's rather big!

Uncle, haven't you seen such

a big hair in your life?

It's not like hair from a close look

Not any hair is of this color

But, it's too narrow, it won't be...

Damn you!

I didn't freeze you what's wrong with you?

Fire little sausage

Where is it?

Wait, it's right here

What's the matter?

To achieve to the society work for the people, work for yourself

To stay in bed with women you need 2 things

Hide it!

Do you want to get sex disease?

What is it?

Sex disease

Let me help you

No, thanks, I will handle it myself

It's tasteless!

I have nearly forgotten you should taste it too

No, no...

If anything happens

I can't take care of you

Come on, do it accordingly or I won't give you money

The rich man is always weird

Wait, let's change

What's the matter?

You eat happily

yours must be more delicious

Stop playing, let us do it

No, if you were the queen

I would be executed

Try this

You'll be satisfied

You must try, hold this thing first

Not this!

Which one?

The thinner one

What for?

Red? So she is a bitch

Don't you think a virgin will follow you to such a place?

Come on

Not the queen, that means I can screw her

Tonight is quiet

Look, who are they?

Go and check

Pal, what are you doing here?

Where do you come from?

Do you have I.D.?

I.D.? If not, I have to arrest you

Hello?

Shit...

No one is called "Shit"

Ah Chiu

Ah Chiu? Ah Chiu is out

Damn it!

Pal, it's none of my business for Chiu is out

If you want to scold me

you've to go back to 300 years ago

I am coming

Coming? I won't scare you

I am now by the door

Now? The door? That soon

Open the door now

Fine

Chiu? Why don't you ring the bell?

Why don't you talk clearly?

If you were forced to eat 5 durians

you would speak unclearly too

The one you want is here

Why do you point at me with this?

We don't know each other

Don't push, or I will counter attack

Brother Hung, if you want to look for me

just page me

You needn't ask so many buddies to search for me

You bastard, you come to me when you have no money

You don't repay your debt but fooling around

I don't mind that

but how dare you take the woman of my buddie

You lost & you used some dirty stance to fool my buddy

It's almost a week haven't been eaten by ants?

Brother Hung how dare I fool your buddy?

You are my benefactor?

Cut the crap, fix it for my buddy now

Fine

Master Bo

What's the matter?

To set him free

Be careful, slowly...

Set him free

Move quickly

Finish it then we may go

Hurry up, don't look, that's sister-in-law

What?

What are you looking?

I saw a crab catching a rat

it's funny

The rat is called Mickey

What crab is that?

Fat crab

Beat him

May I know your name?

Congratulation

Just call me Siu Bo

Master Bo, from now on, follow me, no

I follow you

Kidding? Siu Hung

Brother Hung, we are buddies.

Don't talk like that

Your business is my business too

No, no!

You should listen to what I said

Is she sister-in-law?

Yes...!

Hello? Wish you ever lucky!

Hello, I am Siu Ha what are you doing now?

I am making love

What?

I said, Ah Chiu is watching the blue tape

Let me lower the volume of the TV first

Turn off the TV

He doesn't want to turn it off

Well, can you come out?

Not now

When? When will you come out?

I think I can come out soon

Coming, coming...

It's quiet, have you turned off the TV?

Coming out now?

7 th Madam, hurry up

You should think something

You want to search for us in such a hurry what's the matter?

Stop quarrelling

Ng San Kwai sent someone to kill our hubby

Shit, he is now in great danger

Think some solution

Stop, Shang's Kung-fu is the best among us

So, I decided to go with Shang to protect hubby

It hasn't boiled yet

Let me take a look, don't move

I forgot to use the power

Your handkerchief is not in the proper position

I used too much power

It's boiled, isn't it great?

Don't you think I didn't see you

connecting the plug with your toes?

You won't understand

come on, let's eat

I bought your favorite cuttle fish

Can you remember what day is today?

What day? It's Friday

It's about me

What a coincidence!

Your period comes...

You are disgusting

It's comfortable, once more

If you kill me no one will celebrate your birthday

You said you'd arrange an unforgettable

birthday party for me

I did nothing, isn't it special enough?

Not even a present!

You cheated me

Of course!

This is sent by the Emperor not very much expensive

You look pretty today

Was I ugly yesterday?

No, you are always

Today is your birthday

I have to kiss you for celebration

I mean, I want to borrow some money from you, with high interest

What does that mean?

I mean a wet kiss

It's disgusting

No, it's not disgusting, it quenches thirst

Come on

You, tiny guys in strange suits

what do you want?

How dare you screw my life?

You're Brother Hung when did screw your wife?

Don't you think you dress like this and then it'd be Ok?

Do you want to freeze me?

I want to stab your eyes

Siu Bo

Take care of her!

Don't move

I found an underwear from my wife's

handbag, which is not mine

Why are you still laughing?

Why not take it as an extra one?

I asked someone to watch my wife

she really has an affair

How can you deny?

Right. I won't do secret matters

The underwear is mine I seduced the wife of Hung too

Sister-in-law is so hot and sexy

tell me which man isn't willing to

make friends with this sex idol?

Tell me

What?

Do you want to screw the wife of Hung?

Yes! ...No!

He said yes too

Boss, I don't mean it, he is fooling me

Why don't you tell me frankly?

Anyway, it's guilty to seduce the wife of others

You are wrong, she is the wife of you

not the wife of "others"

I couldn't control myself, I promise not next time

Idiot, we are buddies, right?

Wife is like a dress, right?

You are right

buddies should wear the same clothes

No room for rented, go now

Brother Hung don't hurt the innocent people

She comes to rent the room

Siu Bo

Bring him in let him see me how to make love

Forget it, I will be scared

How dare he screw the woman of Hung

he'll chopped into pieces

The fellows of Brother Hung?

you screwed my woman in this bed

I'll take revenge in this bed too

Brother Hung, don't hurt her

She didn't seduce your woman it's me who did it

Why don't you screw me... oh no no no...

She is cheap, don't waste your time

Cheap? If so, let me shoot her to death

No... she is cheap in front of other people

but in front of you she is changed from cheap to sexy

Undress, now

Brother Hung...

Undress, hurry up

Go

After them

Go now

Jump!

Want dying?

Sorry, it's a little bit ruined

Go now

Brother Hung

Leave now, forget about me

Jump, quick

Ah Chiu

Get in

After them

Uncle Wah, Uncle Wah...

What are you screaming for?

What's happened?

Siu Ha, get something for him to bite

Uncle Wah, help me to turn him over

Who dares to shoot the police?

It hurts...

Don't worry, it's alright

Bite it!

Don't worry, I will use my power to force the bullet out

Let me take the stuff

Not necessary, it's alright

His fart is really great

This is normal

I don't feel well, I have to take medicine

Fine

Will you force

his shit out if you keep on pushing him?

Maybe

Do you enjoy it?

I can't feel anything for it's too fast

Your first time?

How do you know it?

I can tell from your ass. It's red

What a shame

Don't appreciate me

I won't

Will you be mad at me?

Idiot, we are friends

Go to hell!

What are you doing?

Why didn't you ask me to seduce Hung's woman with you?

Let me make a date on next Tuesday, Ok?

I am afraid I haven't recovered yet

Well, I may substitute you

Uncle Wah, Ha fainted

Uncle Wah, take care of Ah Chiu

I am going for Siu Ha

Ah Chiu...

Ah Chiu, how are you?

Give way

The eyes turn white and your hands are so cold

Give away... or she can't breath

Go out... go out...

If not, I will rape every one of you

What a fantastic idea

Stay calm I am using my interior power to cure you

You didn't talk, but how can listen to you?

Because I am talking to you with my heart

We can hear the opposite part without talking

You know special power?

It's Kung fu

I have told you I came from Ching Dynasty

Don't look at me like this

or I will drive crazy easily

Attractive...

don't look, it will drive me crazy

But I have to take a look

It's too exciting

Siu Bo, are you alright?

Nothing special, I have lost some blood

only, it's no big deal

Siu Bo...

Are you feeling better?

It hurts

Aren't you feeling well?

Yes, my whole body is not alright

Here, here, and here

every parts of the body

Are you sick?

Yes, I don't know why, I don't feel well

Are you coming from Ching Dynasty?

I can give you proofs

If not, how can I know

freezing a man?

I won't care I have to make use of this chance

I love you, let's have a kiss

And take this chance...

I tell you, I can screw you now

Although I wish to

I don't have guts to do so

Because... I respect you

I... love you

Why don't you go now?

Why should I pretend to be decent? I should have screwed her

Siu Bo

How can I face myself of not screwing her?

You...

What are you doing?

I want...

What do you want?

I want...

Good morning are you making my breakfast?

Do you want to eat toothpaste?

It seems that

you haven't done that for 300 years

Don't misunderstand I am always like that...

I am that poor

Are you hungry

let me buy you some food

How can I bother you?

Why don't you go now?

What?

You are bad

Troublesome

The woman is troublesome

The door is not locked why can't remember it?

Forget the money?

Hubby

Oh shit!

Hubby, do you miss me?

I miss you everyday

Really?

Yes

How can you live in such place?

Yes

Have you looked for any other woman?

I dare not

Have you visited the brother?

No, the modern people dislike such things

Are you tired?

How can you solve your need alone?

What need?

Use my hands

Right or left?

Both hands

What a hard job for them

They are willing to do so

Who is that woman?

Who is it?

That one

She is the mother of my room-mate Ah Chiu

She passed away

Dead?

What is this?

This is...

What is it?

Bra

Bra?

They love wearing it

in rainy days

They want to collect the rain with this

to quench thirst

I see

When the rain is heavy, use big one when it's small, use small one

If there is no rain, no need of wearing it

Hubby we have come for more than a month

So what?

We watch TV ads all day

I love watching TV ads when I come here

Don't you know I am ignorant?

They called this as bra

Honey

Don't use the Eagle's Claw to beat me

Don't! Stay calm

I will be dead, honey, don't mess up

Come and collect the fax

What fax?

The queen you want

The queen?

Is she pretty?

That's too old

Do you want to fool me?

The one coming next is the true one

Siu Ha...

You went to bed

with Siu Bo yesterday...

Why do you ask in such a direct way?

Shit, from your bitchy smile

you two must have some relationship

You will be regretted

I won't

But Siu Bo will

Siu Bo won't, I treat him that nice

You can't fall for Siu Bo

Why?

Don't you fall for me?

No!

I think so, if you fell for me

you would have fallen at the beginning

Are you gay?

Idiot, I am not

A police may be gay

You are right

You admit too

Idiot

Look, your legs spread

don't you deny you aren't gay?

I always go riding

I saw you in bubble bath

Does it imply gay?

I love bubble bath since I was a child

I don't allow gays enter my house

I have to find Siu Bo

Siu Bo

Help, murder!

It must be illusion

You love Siu Bo too much so there is illusion

You saw that too?

Be frank, I am gay

I love Siu Bo too much so I have the illusion too

it's too complicated

I have to wake myself up

I said it is illusion

No one is inside

It's not sinful to fall for a guy but don't lose your mind

Let's go

Help!

Brother, please control yourself

it will dirty the place of Siu Ha

I think so, but I can't control them

Are you that great?

You must be an actress

Master Bo, how much is charged for hiring them to take pictures?

I just want to know the price

I want you to give me an answer

Hubby, I want you to explain

Let me introduce...

She is my wife

If I tell you she is a hooker

will you believe?

How can a hooker have such good body?

If I tell you she is a hooker

will you believe?

How can a hooker have such good body?

You are right

Be frank

you two are having relations with me

About what relationships

I can't figure it out now

Hubby, who is this guy?

One more, this one is worse that them

Since I couldn't figure it out now

let's take this break to have meal

Forget it, youth loves fooling around

I know you love fooling around

Why did you hit my hubby?

Shang

Siu Ha...

What are you doing? Do you want to kill her?

Why don't you chase?

Of course not, there is one and two are here

I should stay here

You are right!

I have some matters to bother you

The queen you want me to search for I have got her now

Thank you

The queen!

He is like master

Miss, I can do

what Siu Bo can do

Maybe, I can do better

why don't you try?

Try him!

I can handle both of you

Siu Ha...

Siu Ha

Where is she?

Siu Ha

Shit, the queen is missing what should I do then?

Siu Ha

Why are you have?

Be frank

are you married?

Siu Ha, you run so fast

Right, I am married

but this is not important

You have married more than once

Yes, but this is not important too

You deceived me

right, but this is not important too

Most important of all you have to save the life of the emperor

He should look for a doctor, not me

You are asked to be the queen

I feel sick

Mister

this jade is well kept

It's perfect

wonderful jade

Yes, it is

Let me have a look of that

Mister, you are an antique buyer

you needn't wear such clothes

How can you get this Jade bust?

Mister, you are really smart

it's just been sold by a youth

It's made in Ching Dynasty

For people in Ching Dynasty concubines are common

Shit, I have screwed the queen

I would be executed

Master Bo, how many wives do you have?

We envy you so much of having 2 wives

7? Really?

Plus her, total 8

Can you give me one?

I don't want the one with the sword

I love the one with a hat her skin is so smooth

Go to hell!

Idiot!

Sorry, maybe, give me Siu Ha

it's not bad for hubby to marry some more girls

It's hard for one woman to serve a man

You haven't been to Ching Dynasty

why don't you go for a visit?

Look, my clothes are pretty

Look at you

Hubby, it's almost ready

Well...

Who are you?

What do you want?

Hubby, what's the matter?

What do you want?

How dare you let a princess beg you?

do give me some face

You don't even want to be the queen what do you want then?

Protect the queen

Shang, you handle him

Block her way

Yes

Don't panic, let me handle this

He doesn't scare bullet protect the queen to leave here first

The Royal Sword!

It's short but it can kill

Shit, Siu Bo having trouble

Don't panic, I will help!

Hubby Siu Bo

He can't handle it

Hide up first

I am leaving, his head is too hard

Luckily we haven't stepped on the glass

Go to hell!

go to hell!

Control yourself, Your Highness don't be that impulsive

Don't pull me!

If you go out who will protect Her Highness and... me?

Wonderful!

Don't go, don't go!

Kneel down!

Shang

How is it? Do I need to pull it out?

Pull it out or stab in?

Help her!

Haven't you gone?

You can't go

you can't defeat them, let's go

It's like an echinus

Protect the queen

Fine!

I asked them to leave only I don't mean you

It's useless for me to stay me

Ask my master to adhere you now

Abracadabra!

No, not like this, watch me

"Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"

"Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"

How is it?

It's useless

You must have missed one word

"Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"

Yes!

"Scabies in the eyes, in front of the bed"

Does it work?

I can't shout again, I am breathless

Are you Ok?

Master

Master, why are you going up?

Master, not up, but that way

It's lucky for Master to come on time

Beat him

don't scare him, he can't defeat you

Master, mind his head

Master, what's the matter?

What's the matter?

Hubby, where is Master?

He flies too fast

I can't tell where he is now

Help... help...

Master Bo

Master

Are you calling me? How come I become your master?

Save me first

I can't, he is at your back

Master

He scares electricity, gather the wires now

Tie him up, don't let him move

Pull from both sides

Pull, make it tighter

We want to kill you by electricity

Any casualties?

No. That's good!

The ancient people scare electricity they are useless

Don't you scare it?

Hubby...

I have a plan

Hubby, is my dress pretty?

Don't scare me

Sexy?

It's great!

Cheers, you should drink more

If there is holiday

come to visit us

If I were not killed

I would come to visit you

Good morning sir

Are you fooling me?

I have to court girls

Good morning sir

Uncle Wah, let's go for a toast

You play such childish game

Take care

You too

Silver?

Yes. It's made by silver

Are you willing to go back with me?

I have to visit my sister in Canada

Fine

Why don't you go with me?

Why don't you stay?

Siu Ha is crying there seems to be some problem

Take care!

Don't go, I have an idea

What idea?

From my experience of being a cop

there is only one solution

Think together

Damn!

Your Majesty, I can't finish the mission I should be punished

I am a king but how can I be so superstitious

I have almost ruined the whole kingdom

It's the history of 300 years later

it's marked that I'll be 60 years old

And I can make my country wealthy and strong too

How can I listen to your rubbish?

Men, take magician to the jail

Yes

Your Majesty, please forgive me!

Don't misunderstand although I have many wives

but it doesn't mean I am not sincere to them

It means, I am an affection man only

Look at them

It's really funny

Don't feel shy, I am used to it

Master Bo, Her Highness is

the most beautiful one among them

May I...

go and ask her

Really?

Let uncle hold your hands

Shall we go now?

Sure!

Do you mind me putting my hand on your shoulder?

I don't mind

Do you mind being courted by me?

I like it

She asked me to go ahead

Really?

Go to hell!