All language subtitles for Blankman.1994.WEB-D

* Cinderella
dressed in yellow

* Went upstairs
to kiss a fellow

How you ladies
doin' today?

Take it easy now.

* By mistake
she kissed a snake

* How many doctors
did it take *

Wait for me.

Meet a real fab family,

the Carrolls of Charleston,
South Carolina.

I'm a fanatic
about clean clothes.

That's why
I'm glad for Fab.

Dummies. Borax won't work
unless you put active enzymes.

You geek!
How do you know all that?

I'm not a geek.

Yes, you are.

Am not.
Are, too.

I'll show you geeky.

Hurry up!
It's comin' on!

Batman!

* Batman

Stupid old TV!

Holy bad reception,
Batman. I'll fix it.

* Batman, Batman

Hurry up
or we'll miss it!

Hurry!

Where worms always go.

Down into the earth.

Is it working?

No, not yet.

Whoa!

That's it.
Don't move.

Your glasses!

Remember, never hit
a man with glasses.

Even better. Perfect!

Yes! Curses!

Yeah!

Yeah, keep flushing!

Yeah.

Back to back.

Who's playing
with the toilet?

Kevin, is that you?

Oh! Oh, my Lord.

Boys,
I'm gonna peel the skin off of your behind,

boil it and make soup!

To the Bat-poles!

What did I say?

Stay out

of my kitchen!

* Great Scott

* Here's someone
new on the block

* No badder spider could
compare to this top-notch hero

* He's everyday people,
defendin' all good, destroyin' all evil

* Puttin' in work on the bad guys and doin'
pretty good

* So it's wise to recognize

* Recognize what?

* That he's number one
and takes second to none

* And, uh, if you don't know
here he comes

* Blankman

* Here he comes
So watch out

* Blankman

* Here he comes

* Blankman

* Blankman

* Here he comes

* Blankman

* Blankman

* Blankman

* Blankman

* Yo, it's that fool again

* The one with the cape
on his back

* Blankman

* Yo, cool,
where's fool?

* Blankman

Cut that out down there,
or I'm callin' the police!

Shut up,
you crusty old bitch!

That must be your mama
you're thinkin' about!

Thanks for the help,
lady!

I've been hurt!

Hey, get off the car,
you bum!

Kevin, is that
your grandma?

Shh!

Go, go, go, go!

Oh, boy,
good mornin', Grandma.

Don't "good mornin'" me.

You could have at least
fed that little heifer.

Makin' all that noise
late last night.

It's a good thing
you so quick,

otherwise,
I never would have got no sleep.

You know, they were beatin'
up a man in the alley this morning.

Cops did nothin'.

Well, do you blame 'em?
They haven't been paid in two weeks.

All that's gonna change when
Assemblyman Harris is elected mayor.

You just watch.

Grandma, one man
cannot save the world.

I don't live in the world,
I live in this neighborhood,

and Harris is the only candidate
to ever set foot in it.

Now what you want
for breakfast?

I'll just have some coffee
'cause I gotta run.

All you do is run.
Now, come on, sit down.

Let your grandmother
fix you a nice, hot meal.

We're not kids anymore,
Grandma,

we're grown, remember?

Good morning, Grandma.

Morning, poopski.

Morning, Kevin.

Aw, Darryl,
man, come on!

You didn't sleep well
last night, did you?

I heard you in there
talkin' to yourself.

Yeah. I was working
on my latest creation.

Sound-activated,

aerodynamic, insect predator.

A what?

A flying flycatcher.

Oh, you are a genius!

Just like your mama,
may angels bless her soul.

One of these days,
Baby Huey over there

is gonna blow us up with one
of those damn inventions.

Shouldn't you be
at work already?

Wait, Kevin,
I got somethin' for you.

I gotta go.

No, it's okay,
J-5 will bring it.

Okay, make that turn,
make the turn.

Watch out for Grandma.

Here you go. Watch the wall.
Watch the wall.

I've gotta oil
his ball bearings.

You need to throw that in the
trash with the rest of that junk.

Here you go.

What is that?

Oh, it's a two-way
transceiver radio belt.

See, you put this
in your ear,

and then you talk
into the buckle.

It also has
a radio tracking device.

You get that
out of my face.

I'm not wearin'
that crap!

Please, Kevin?

No!

Kevin, come here.

Grandma,
he is retarded.

Come here.

He needs to invent some hair
for that bald head of his.

Ow!

You will wear that belt.

I am not going to say...

No!

Do as I say!

Uh, Darryl, give me the belt.
I'm gonna wear it, man.

No, you don't have to wear
my stupid old belt

if you don't want to.

Uh, Darryl, please.

May I wear your belt?

Are you really sure that you really,
really want to?

Uh, yeah.
I'm...I'm...I'm

really,
really sure I would like to wear your belt.

'Cause you really,
really don't have to

if you really,
really don't want to.

I would really, really
be upset if you...

Give me the damn belt!

This is great, Kevin.

Now we can talk together
all day long.

Yeah. Uh, I'm gonna
be home kinda late.

I got a karate class.

I'll radio you
in about an hour.

And then every hour
on the hour after that,

just to work
all the bugs out.

Yeah, well, if I'm not there,
leave a message.

You'll be there.

I'll track you down.

* A super hero from the ghetto's lookin'
out for me

* Is he real or are my eyes
just deceivin' me

* Can he fly into the air?

* Can he leap
a flight of stairs?

* Can he really win
the fight?

* Can he really
save my life?

* Man, that boy Blankman
is cool with me

* Blankman, Blankman

Hey, wait!

Ah, thank you.

* Blankman helped me out,
helped my mama out

* Helped my grandmother out

Great day, isn't it?

Well,
why don't we see?

"GM lays off
500 more employees.

"A post office worker
wipes out an entire zip code,

"and the police are threatening
to walk out on a strike."

I just meant the, uh,
sun was gonna shine.

I hadn't got to the lame
come-on section yet.

Oh.

So I guess we're probably gonna talk later,
right?

Yeah, she's shy.

Who let you out
the Hard Edition dungeon?

This is the newsroom, man.

So you know
she's out your league.

Stevens,

they're all outta
your league.

Oh, I heard you won
a...a toaster at sperm bank.

Gotta go, gotta run.

Down, brother.
Down into the basement.

Bye, basement boy.

Yeah! Blood on the hands!
Blood on the hands!

Yes! Lift him
out of the trunk.

Lift him
out of the trunk.

Yeah! Hear that
bone break?

That's journalism,
my friend!

That's journalism!
Walker!

I watched your piece
on the mayor last night.

Boring!

Have you lost
your goddamn mind?

Got no angle, no edge!

Listen.

If you can't get
anything real,

then go to the board.

The Vice President

and an alien

and S&M sex!

Now,
that's a great story.

Look, my sources
connect Mayor Cates

to Michael Minelli
and organized crime.

My sources

link Mayor Cates
to Michael Minelli.

Who you gonna interview for that?
Cates?

He won't talk to us

since we made up
that shit about him

on the sheep farm.

Nope. Minelli.

Right.

You get an interview
with Michael Minelli,

I'll promote
your ass so high,

you'll be
shittin' off the moon.

In the meantime,

I forbid you to watch
any more 60 Minutes.

Remember, I want edge.

It's not Hard Edition,
it's...

Hard Edge-dition.
Right.

That's my boy!

Boy?

Shit, I'm a man.

What?
Nothin'.

This is great.

This is gonna be perfect.

Yeah!

Darryl.

This was a toaster

when Mrs. Reem
brought it in.

What is it now?

Why, it's better than
a toaster, Mr. Crudd.

It's a toaster plus.

See, wasted heat from the
toast rises up to the pan,

cooking the egg, which,
in turn, heats the coffee.

Once the coffee
starts to percolate,

the eggs flip out
onto the toast.

Just make it
a toaster again.

Okay.

Now, what is that?

It's a sound-activated aerodynamic,
insect predator, sir.

I don't like
the looks of that.

Don't be afraid.
It's like a dog.

If you run from it,
it'll...it'll chase ya.

But, Darryl, I want that
out of here.

You need to be
fixing things.

Now, look at that mess!

What are you doing
with that thing?

Down, boy.

Now, what happened?
Is...is that all right there?

Well, apparently
the fly left the room.

It's activated
by the buzz.

You are in big trouble.

Now, you just
clean up this mess.

Yes, Mr. Crudd.

Yes, so what's the plus
and minus on it?

Good. That's great news.
But, yeah, give it to Mark.

Hey, listen up, everybody!

Just got our
latest poll results,

and we're five points up!

Thanks to you!

And I want
to promise you

that when we're elected,

nothing is gonna
stand in the way

of the things that we promise
to do in this campaign.

And that's a guarantee.

Harris! Harris!
Harris! Harris!

What are you doing here?

The...The garbage
goes in the back!

Lady, what are you...

Give me that!

Get your hands off of her.

I want to wish
Mr. Harris good luck.

I understand you're doin' well
in the polls.

Maybe we can talk
somewhere private, huh?

Anything
you have to say to me,

you can say in front of these people.
We have no secrets.

Well, all right, uh,

I understand you're gonna need
some campaign contributions,

and I would like to be
one of the ones to contribute.

A cool million dollars.

Save your money,
Mr. Minelli.

You can't buy me.

How about I rent you
for a couple of years.

You can't even
window-shop.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've got a press conference
to attend to.

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Hey, Harris,
I wanna talk to you.

You know, Harris.
Hey, Harris,

don't walk away with...

Nice office
you got here.

Don't work too hard.

Especially you, lady.
Life is short.

So must be that thing
in your pants.

Yeah.
See ya, Minelli.

Oh. Caught me
stealing coffee.

Yeah, I hear
the coffee downstairs

is even greasier
than the reporting.

All right,
so now you know I work at Hard Edition.

Uh-huh. I hear you're actually
a pretty good cameraman.

You've been asking about me,
haven't you?

I'll give you my card.
You don't gotta sneak around.

Here, uh, the digits
are right here.

The first one's the office,

the other one's
the important one.

That's the phone by the bed.

Oh, I bet that one
doesn't ring much.

I'll think about it.

Yes!

Kevin, it's me.
Come in. Over.

What?

Kevin, are you there?
Over.

Darryl, not now,
please.

Kevin, I can't hear you.

You have to talk into the buckle.
Over.

I said, not right now,
okay? I'm busy.

Closer, I can't hear you,
buddy.

Not now, please.

Closer. Over.

Not now, I'm busy.

Closer. Roger.

Look, this is as close
as I can talk, man, okay?

I would love
to play with you,

but now is not the time.

I got work to do.

So when I finish my work,

uh, we'll go in the bathroom.
I'll play with you then.

You know, make sure
everything's working,

and...and we can
check you out...

I thought about it,

and I just changed my mind.

I wasn't talkin'
to my jammy.

Oh, damn.

$5 from the Johnsons.

They don't have two nickels
to rub together,

and they still pitched in.

People know
a good cause

when they see one.

Nobody moves!
Give me all your money!

Now! That's it.

That, too.
Hand it over.

They're checks.

Hand it over.

You ought to think
about showering

if you want
to remain anonymous.

Good evening.

Michael Minelli
sends his regards.

* When your burdens

* Seem to weigh you down

* Or the road

* It seems too far
to carry on

* Just look to me

* And you will find
your help

* Which cometh from the Lord

* Hold on

* Even when you feel
you can't go on

* You don't have to moan

* Let your soul cry up

* To the Lord

* Cry on

* Cry

Come on, come on.
Give me that!

Don't!
What are you doing?

Darryl, talk.

You haven't said
a word all night.

What are you doing?
Stop it!

Come on, give me
the purse, lady!

Help me, somebody!

Come here!

Get outta here!

He's got a knife!
He's got a knife!

Oh, my God!
I'm gonna die!

Thank you, young man.
Thank you.

The rest of you
ain't shit!

Gee whiz, Kevin,

look what's happenin'
to our neighborhood.

They're gamblin'
right out in the open.

They're just throwin' bones, man.
They always do that.

Kevin, look at that car.

They have no respect
for the law anymore.

Gee whiz,
they're selling drugs

right across the street
from our house!

Darryl, it's a crack house.

That's what they do,
sell crack.

Well, they shouldn't
be doin' that.

Darryl, that's a crack house!

You let... Come here.

Darryl, you can't walk
in no crack house, man!

Those people
are animals.

They would sell their
own babies for a hit.

That's why somebody needs
to close that place down.

Well, I got news
for you, Urkel.

You don't need a permit
to open up a crack house.

You close that one down,

another one will open up
right next door.

You can't walk around
like some vigilante.

Why not?
Batman did it!

Batman?

Darryl, that was fantasy.
He had everything.

You live in reality.
You got nothin'.

You're no Batman.

Maybe I oughta be.

Bring your goofy ass on!

It's politics as usual
in the Mayor's office.

Newly elected mayor
Marvin Harris

has reappointed to
the City Building Commission

several reputed associates
of crime lord Michael Minelli.

So much for
campaign promises.

In other news, with no end
to the budget crisis in sight,

unpaid police continue
a citywide work slowdown,

which raises the question,

as crime escalates,
who will keep our streets safe?

I'm Kimberly Jonz.

And I'm saying good night.

* Yet another night

* You're doin'
the best you can

* To save the world
we live in

* If you do it right

* Someone needs
a helping hand

* You've got one
to be giving

* Don't wait around
for someone else

* You can make it happen
by yourself

* Hey, yeah, yeah

* Gonna show the rest,
gotta take a chance

* You can change
the world *

What?

Darryl.

What?

Darryl, what's...
What's goin' on?

What are you
doin' in there?

I'm busy.

Come on, come on, come on.

Stop all that noise.
Let's go back to bed.

Wait. Kevin,
don't go yet.

I want to show you
somethin'.

Kevin, are you ready?

Well, you better be,

because here I come!

Look! I'm a crime fighter!

What do you think?

If you walk out
on the street like that,

they gonna arrest you
and lock you in the nuthouse.

No, Kevin, this is real.
The costume is bulletproof.

Besides, look at all these
great gadgets I got.

See, these are handcuffs.

I got stink bombs

made from
concentrated flatulence.

I collected it
while you were sleepin'.

Ah! Powerful stuff.

And, Kevin, look at these.

Electric nunchakus.

Hey! Hey!

Sorry.

Man, this is a nightmare.

No, Kevin Walker,

the best is yet to come.

I made you an outfit, too.

J-5, retrieve
crime-fighting outfit.

All right, that's it.
Get out.

Get out,
get out now, Darryl!

Kevin,

remember you said

Batman had a costume
and gadgets? Well?

No, I said
Batman had money.

Which is why
I gotta go back to bed

to wake up to make some
for me and you.

Kevin, don't you want to make
the world a safer place?

I've been up all night.

Ever since
my grandmother died,

he's just gettin'
worse and worse.

I got bills to pay.

I can't even afford
to pay for the funeral.

How's that lesbian
necrophiliac story comin'?

Thanks for the love.

Hello, Betty!

Hello.

Now, what are you
doin' down here?

I came to see
if you were busy tonight.

I'm not busy tonight. What do you wanna do?
You wanna go out to eat?

Well, it's not exactly
what I had in mind.

I've got a guy who's gonna snitch
on Michael Minelli tonight,

and my best cameraman's sick,
so I'm desperate.

So you come to me, huh?

I know it's not exactly
sheep whipping

or public spankings,
but it's a job.

And, if things go well,
it could be full-time.

Look, you said you wanted to do real news,
right?

So here's your chance.

You in or out?

I'm in.

I'm not in exactly where
I want to be, but I'm in.

Darryl!

Darryl, I got great news!
I got a real news assignment!

Darryl?

Darryl.

Darryl, I got a real job.

Oh, my God.

Car 6239, report to
425 West 10th Street.

Disturbance in alley
of building.

Stop! Hey, wait,
wait for me!

Wait! Hold on!

Driver, quick, take me to
10th Street, on the double.

That's not my route.
I'm goin' to the South Side.

You don't understand.
There are innocent lives at stake.

I need your assistance.
I'm a crime fighter.

Yeah, yeah,
sure you are.

Listen, pal,
look in the back.

You're a freak
just like the rest of them.

Why don't you
get in the back or get out.

Driver, take me
to 10th Street now!

Get outta here!

Hey!

I want my money, girl!

I don't have it, Biff,
I swear.

Listen. Listen!

You better
come up with it

or I'm gonna have
to slap you around.

You understand me?

I wouldn't do that
if I were you.

What the hell is this?
Is the circus in town?

Man, get outta here
before I hurt you.

Let the lady go.

You wanna take her place?

No.

But I will if I have to.

Don't you know, man,

I'll beat you like
you're one of my bitches?

Slap me around
and call me Susan.

I warned you, Susan.

Someone should help
that lady!

You give up?

Or you want me
to get rough with ya?

Listen,
you little creep,

you got three seconds

to get the hell
outta here!

One...

Two, three.

Go ahead and shoot me.

Listen!
Look what you made me do now!

I had to kill a guy in this goddamn alley!
Give me my money!

Hoo-hoo!

Want to try it again, pal?

What the hell are you?

Why don't you shoot him
in the head?

Yeah, shoot him in the head.

That's right.

I'm gonna shoot him
in the head.

Uh-oh.

Kevin!

Let's get out of here,
Darryl. Come on.

Don't call me
by my real name!

You're blowing
my secret identity.

Nobody knows who you are.
Let's go, loonyman.

I can't believe you,

wearing that
stupid costume.

I almost had him,
Kevin.

Did you like
what I did?

Yeah. That's what
I was gonna do.

That was
my Bruce Lee stuff.

I was gonna karate chop
him right in his...

Yeah, right.
Just come on.

Hey, Chuck.

You got to hear this.

Tell him who
you come to see.

I want to speak
to the Commissioner.

Tell him why.
Tell him why.

Duh. I'm a crime fighter.

And I had a run-in
with some punks last night,

and I'm trying to get
the cooperation of the police

as I take
these street punks down.

Wait a minute.
I don't see what's so funny.

What about your name?
Tell him your name.

Okay, I don't have one yet,

but I'm leanin'
towards Brotherman.

Brotherman!

Is someone behind me?
What's the joke?

I got a name for ya.

How 'bout Shitheadman?

I wanna see the Commissioner.

The Commissioner!

I'll go get him!

Oh, oh, Commissioner?

Shitheadman's here
to see you!

He's busy.

It's not a joke!

I'm not leaving here,
gosh darn it,

until I see
the Commissioner!

The judge said he can go as long
as you take him to a shrink.

Thanks a lot,
Officer.

Bye, guys. And remember
what I said.

A life of crime
is a waste of what?

Eat me! Take a hike!

Suck my shit!

Up your nose!
Sit on it!

Really think I reached
a couple of them.

Okay, Darryl,
what is this?

That's an aerial view
of the Fiji Islands.

Okay, and this?

A decorative
Incan burial mask.

And these?

Hmm, that's a tough one.
Uh...

Um...

I'm gonna pass.

Sure you wanna pass?

Okay.

The South American
Twitsue butterfly.

I gotta tell you, Kevin,

not only... Look at this,
not only is your brother normal,

he's...he's actually
rather brilliant.

The only problem I see

is that he's,
you know, a geek.

No. Uh-uh.
No, no, no, no, no.

Now, he's got problems.

He thinks he's a super hero.

Tell him how
you're a super hero.

I'm not a super hero,
silly billy.

All right, you just
gonna chump me, right?

Darryl, tell him
how you fight crime.

Kevin,

I'm an ordinary citizen.
The police fight crimes.

What's gotten
into you lately?

He is a super hero.

See, because last night
when we were fighting crime,

he gets shot, pow!

Bullets bounce
right off of him.

See, 'cause he invented this, uh,
jacket, makes the bullets bounce off.

I can't get any sleep lately,
'cause of him, right?

Plus, there's this female
at my workplace,

she thinks I'm not right,

'cause she caught me in the
xerox room talking to my nuts.

You were talking
to your testicles?

No, no, I was
talking to Darryl,

but it was through
my belt buckle.

You were talking to your
brother Darryl's testicles?

No, no, no, no.

Tell me about
your mother, Kevin.

Yo, man, you say
one more thing about my mama,

I will jump, snap,
mule-kick you right in the side of your head!

There's a lot of anger here.

Is there this much anger
around the house?

Dr. Norris, it's like living
with a swollen Gary Coleman.

Darryl, why did you
do that?

Now that doctor
thinks I'm crazy.

Why didn't you tell him
about the super hero thing?

Oh, yeah,
and give away my secret identity?

So you're...
So you're still not gonna give this up?

Kevin, this is my calling.

I have to make the world
a safer place for my children.

Your children?

You got to be
with a woman first!

You got to knock
some boots, man!

You a virgin!

No, I'm a gentleman.

Now, this is obviously
something that,

that you gotta do

in order to work
through Grandma's death.

Now, if that's what
you got to do, fine,

but we will
do this together.

But we gonna do it my way.

Okay, Karateman.

What?

That's your
crime-fighter name.

Uh-huh, no. I don't...
Don't call me that.

You call this
fighting crime?

Housing patrol?

Kevin, can't we
at least wear the costumes?

Hell, no.

I ain't puttin' on
them stupid costumes, man.

Help me! Help me!
You gotta help me.

What's wrong?
Somebody's following you?

No, no.
The lady in my building, she needs help.

Holy needy neighbor!

Was she
gettin' kidnapped?

No!
Her house is on fire?

No, she's stuck
in an elevator.

All right.
We got a situation.

You're gonna
help her, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, what building
is she in?

Down there. Follow me.

Where you goin'?

I gotta get something.
I'll be right back.

Help! Is anyone there?

Uh, look, we're gonna try and
get you out as soon as we can,

but you gotta
be patient, okay?

Step back.

What's that?

It's called
the speculum of life.

Here.

Insertion, come on!

Help!

Okay, step back.
There's fire in the hole.

I'm going in.

Whoa! Come on!

Quick, grab on.
I'll lower us down.

Oh, sure,
do it your own way.

Uh-oh, she's pregnant.

We're gonna
need an ambulance.

Don't worry,
I'll radio for help.

I'm in labor!

I'm gonna have
this baby right now!

Mayday! Mayday!

We've got a pregnant situation here.
13 Fillmore Street.

I need assistance
now, please.

Okay, hang on, I'm comin' down.
Just hang on.

* I'm almost there now,
I'm almost there now

* Just hang on,
just hang on

* I'm almost there,
I'm coming *

Just keep breathin'.

Okay, help is on its way.
What are we gonna do?

I think we're gonna
have to deliver this baby.

We can't do that.
We'll have to see her thing.

Get down there
and catch this baby.

It's so ugly.

Just do it!

Push. Take my hand.

You have a big finger.

Thank you.

Whatever you're doing,
it's working.

I'm starting
to see something.

I see a head!
It's coming!

It's a boy! It's a boy.

I'm a father.

Could you let go
of my finger now?

All right.

Where's the baby?

He's bringing him up.
He delivered him.

He saved me.

Bravo!

Wonderful.

Great photo.
You're a hero.

How precious.

That's a cutie.

Ah, look at him.

You were wonderful.
Who are you?

What?

Um, he's gone blank, ma'am.

Oh.

Blankman.

Oh.

You're a true hero,
Blankman.

Blankman.

Yeah.

* Super hero

* Yeah

* Yeah

* I am lucky if I learn
to read and write

* Where I live you must first
learn to stand and fight

* I'm the product of
the system I'm aware

* 'Cause my name

* Don't care

* Nobody cares

* I will
be a super hero

* Be a super hero

* Now, you must
understand

* Want you all to understand

* Be a super hero

* Well, well, well

* Just give me
half a chance

* Yeah

* Listen to my band

Help, Blankman! Help!

Fifi's stuck
under the house.

Don't worry. I'll save
your little puppy.

Please, save him.
Please, please, please.

* There's so much I can
and really want to do

Hi, Fifi.

* But I cannot
until I get through

* To you

Fifi!

Come on. Give me
the money. Come on.

* You must understand

Hurry up.

* Please understand

* Be a super hero

* Just give me
half a chance

* Just give me half a chance

* Listen to my band

And our closing story is
a hopeful one for a change.

It's about a caped crusader
who calls himself Blankman.

Numerous reports have come in
from police and citizens

about his heroic exploits.

In a city where joblessness
and lawlessness run rampant,

it's hard to believe that goodness
is actually coming back in style.

Well, if it is, this reporter
just wants to say thanks.

Keep doing what you're doing.

Apparently, one man
can make a difference.

Minelli wants
to see you.

Good. I want
to see him, too.

Gentlemen.

How you doin',
Mr. Mayor?

Listen, the DA Is investigating
that Civic Center thing,

so I want to shut
that thing down now.

Ah, don't worry about no
witnesses or anything though,

'cause, uh, we're gonna
take care of that.

Not only will
the investigation continue,

but I'm gonna recommend
to the District Attorney

that he issue a warrant for your
arrest on bribery and extortion.

You're kidding me, right?
What, are you bluffin'?

Oh, you're negotiating.

You're not kiddin' me.
You're not bluffin'.

You're not negotiatin'.

You're askin' for trouble?

Yeah.

I'm asking for trouble.

You're gonna get it.

What is all this stuff?

Neat, isn't it, Kevin?

People keep sending this
stuff to Blankman as a gift.

They even sent money.

Yeah? Really?
How much?

Yeah, one guy sent $5,000.

Great! Where's it at?

I gave it back.

I told him, hey, send me
all your appliances instead.

I mean, who needs...

Who needs money

when you got
neat stuff like this.

Let's see that.
Now, now, now, what is this?

That's a lower half
of a...a roller blade.

Wow!

The...The...
The lower half of a...

The bottom.
The bottom.

Have you lost your mind?

I guess we know
you lost your damn...

Get this shit
out of here!

Get all of it out!
All of it, Darryl!

Get this stuff out, man!

Give me that!

What'd I just
throw out there?

Your radio.

My...
Darryl. Darryl!

Come here, Darryl!
Open up, Darryl.

Open this door!

* There's a magic
in your heart

* If you open it
you'll see

* A shining little face

* That smiles
for you and me *

Wait up, J-5. Wait up.

We gotta find us
a fortress of solitude.

So what do you think, J-5?
The Blank-store?

Nah, you're right.

Smells like urine.

What do you think, J-5?
The Blank-stop?

Nah?

You're right. It'd be
too cold in the winter.

An abandoned
old subway station.

This is perfect.

Wait up, J-5.

This could be the center of
our citadel of crime fighting!

The Blank-station.

Yeah.

Look, I think
we should do a follow-up

on the Minelli scandal.

He's gone underground.

The FBI has frozen
all of his accounts.

No, no, no, listen.

I know,
everybody's been trying to get an interview

with Minelli for years,
right?

But I think what this city needs
is a more uplifting story.

I want to do an
interview with Blankman.

Blankman?

Yeah, he's great
for this city.

He...He...He appears
out of nowhere,

he does a good deed,
then he just disappears.

He...He doesn't do interviews.

He doesn't seek publicity.
He doesn't...

Take money.
Yeah, I know.

Now,

the question is,

is he really
Mr. Wonderful or what?

So how do we find him?

How do we track him down?
Who knows him?

And most important,
how do we get him to talk?

Well, um,

I can get you a
one-on-one with Blankman.

You can? How?

Well, I just have to employ

certain top secret journalistic
techniques at my disposal.

Please!
Please, Darryl, do this interview.

Nope. I can't do it.
Sorry.

Blankman avoids the press.

He doesn't do this
for recognition.

Well, then do it for me.
I'm trying to make an impression.

Kevin, me,
I'd do anything for you.

It's Blankman.

He's got a code.

Don't give me that
double identity stuff!

Now either you're gonna
do this interview

or...or Blankman and Darryl gonna be livin'
at the damn train station!

I'm... I'm... I'm sorry,
I'm sorry. Just...Just...

Just think about it.

Little buddy?

Okay. I'll do it.

Tell her,
meet me at the 14th Street station at 6:00.

You got it!

Alone.
Okay.

And tell her
to wear a carnation.

Why a carnation?

You wouldn't understand.

Yes!

Quick, jump on.

It's rush hour.
There's a speeding train right behind me.

Come on, hurry up.
Don't be afraid.

Don't touch the third rail
or you're dead.

Come on!

Uh-oh. Looks like the 13's comin'
out of the station.

Better switch tracks.
Hold on.

What is this thing?

Oh, it's the Blank-wheel.

Where are we going?

What?

I said,
where are we going?

I can't hear you.
Wait, let me turn the engine off.

What'd you say?

I said,
where are we going?

Oh, to the Blank-station.

This is great!

Huh?

I said, this is great!

I can't hear you!

Wait, let me turn
the engine off!

What'd you say?

I said, this is great.

Oh!

What?

Never mind!

I can't hear you.

Never mind!

* Pretty lady
what's your name?

* Don't talk about it

* I want your number

* Just come and spend
the night with me, boy

* Pretty lady
Hey, what's your name?

* Don't talk about it

* I want your number

* Just come and spend
the night with me, boy

* Pretty, pretty lady

Whoa! Hey!

* All I want to know

* Is can I have your name
so we can go

* I want to swing this life,
I don't want to wonder

* I need one thing from ya,
give me your number

* Pretty lady

* Oh, baby, baby

* Hey, what's your name?

* Oh, yeah

* I want your number

* Just come and spend
the night with me, boy

* Pretty lady,
oh, baby

* Hey, what's your name?

* Baby, baby

* What's your number?

Wow, that was a great ride.

I was starting to
get a little dizzy.

Sorry about that, but I had to
make sure that you didn't remember

the secret location
of the Blank-station.

Oh, my gosh!
Look at this.

The white zone is
for immediate loading

and unloading of passengers only.
No parking.

Wow.

Don't be afraid.
It's just J-5.

Hello, Kimberly.

It talks.

That's all he can
say right now.

He's programmed
to do so much,

I wouldn't want to
overload him.

Hey, would you like
something to drink?

Yeah, sure.

Whoops.

Hey, you lost a shoe.

Oh, yeah. Thanks.

Look at all this stuff.

What do you think, J-5?

What do you call this stuff?

Junk!

Yeah, but it's great junk.

It's almost like you
live in a different world,

a better world.

Are you happy?

How can I be happy when there's
still so much work to be done?

What do you think
makes you so special?

I don't think
I'm that special at all.

Just like everyone else,
I want to feel safe at night.

That's what
Blankman stands for.

Every man who looks
out his window,

sees something wrong,
and decides to do something about it.

Hold on.

Do you have any family?

I had a grandma.
She meant a lot to me.

Somebody killed her.

This has been
an amazing night.

I'm sorry for taking up
so much of your time.

I'm just curious,

what was the carnation for?

Well, a beautiful woman should
always wear a carnation, that's all.

Thank you, Blankman.

Or whoever you are.

Hey, J-5, what's happening?

Uh-oh!

Is everybody hip
to Blankman, right?

Yeah!

You're all hip to Blankman.

You know, when I first heard

that there was a black guy in a
cape riding around in a police car,

I said to myself, "Oh, damn,
I hope James Brown isn't in trouble again!"

You know? Oh! Snap...

Not only has he inspired an entire
city to stand up for itself,

but now...

Take a look at this.
This is Blank-mania sweeping the nation.

And this has caused other super
people to come out of the woodwork.

Midget Man,
what inspired you to become a super hero?

Well, I think Blankman was an
important influence to all of us.

But it's a big world,
and we all have to do our part.

Let's say
you're in a situation,

you're being accosted.

Tell us
how you deal with it.

Well...

First thing...

Oh, easy with that chair.

I got it, I got it.

Take it easy with that.
You don't want to...

Oh, shi...

No, no!

And Gay Man,
you work primarily

out of
the San Francisco area.

I wanted to
be in the Army,

but they discriminate.

Mmm-hmm.

And since I'm cruising
on the streets anyways,

I just thought I would
get out there...

That's so true
about discrimination.

What's the matter with you?

I'm in love.

With who?

What? That robot you got?
What? You knock J-5 up?

I'm in love
with Kimberly Jonz.

Well, who isn't in love
with her, man. Get over it.

Tonight I got the feeling

that I was laying
on a bed of feathers,

and there was two Q-Tips in both
ears and they were moving real fast.

You know, that feeling you get
when someone you like kisses you.

She kissed you?

Yeah. No.

She kissed Blankman.

And that's the dilemma.

If she should find out
that I'm Blankman,

why, it could destroy her.

Um,

Darryl,

this was probably like a...a
buddy-buddy kiss. You know what I mean?

Yeah, you're probably right.

I didn't like that tongue
probing my mouth anyway.

Tongue?

Hey, somebody
got some roses.

Did you read the card?

No, somebody must have
dropped them off.

"From your would-be producer
who always produces." Me.

Thanks.
They're nice.

Uh, so,

what happened with you
and Blankman last night?

He's kind of wack,
right?

Oh, Kevin.
You gotta tell me.

Um, he is... he is

the most wonderful man I've
ever met in my entire life.

Dar...
Uh, Blankman?

Oh, yes!

But, what...
Y'all didn't...

What's this?

A box of chocolates,
which I also brought you.

No, underneath that.

Oh, how romantic.

How romantic.

A shoe?
A funky old shoe.

Kimberly,
we're back from commercial.

Excuse me.

And in
five, four, three, two...

Well, Blankman
does it again.

Saying he was
inspired by his hero,

Mayor Marvin Harris
has come up with a plan

to stop the pending police
and city worker strike.

I've worked out a deal
to honor the city's IOUs.

On Friday, any worker can redeem
them at the First City Bank.

Special armored cars will bring
in all the necessary cash.

And I ask Blankman,
whoever you are and wherever you are,

to be on hand to
receive a special award.

We are gonna start
standing up for ourselves.

This city is going
into the Blankman era.

Thank you, Mayor Harris.

Thank you, kind citizens
of this great city.

I'd like to take this
opportunity to thank

someone very special
in my life.

Love you, Blankman.

Someone who supports me
and believes in what I do.

We all believe in you.

Someone who, whether they
know it or not,

has joined me
in my quest to fight crime.

This person's a truly
wonderful and unique person.

And I'd like to say
thank you to Kimberly Jonz.

Blankman!

You all want your money?

Yes!

Let's open the bank!

Good morning, folks!

Got you some happy
customers out there!

What?

Don't even think about it!
Put your weapons down now! Put 'em down!

Now, get out!

You're crazy! Stop this!

Everybody, get out!

Don't hurt anybody.

Hello, folks!
Say hello to the bad guys!

Calm down.

Everybody, get out!

Move! Go! Move!
Let's go!

What you guys, nuts?
There are a hundred pissed off cops outside.

They haven't
been paid in weeks.

You'll never get
through the doors.

Hello, Mr. Mayor.

You know,
anyone can rob a bank,

but it takes a real man
to do it in satin.

Blankman, I'm Police
Commissioner Gains.

How do you
want to handle this?

Uh,

maybe I could
reason with them?

Great.
We'll be right here.

You are not gonna do this.
I'm not gonna let you...

Everyone else
stay out of it.

Blankman
will handle it.

Blankman! Blankman!

Blankman! Blankman!
Blankman! Blankman!

Blankman! Blankman! Blankman!
Blankman! Blankman! Blankman!

Blankman! Blankman!
Blankman! Blankman!

* They're gonna kill me

* They're gonna smash me
like a little bug

* I'm a dead man
Yes, I'm a dead man *

Blankman! Blankman!
Blankman!

Hello?

Mr. Burglars?

You think maybe we could talk about
this hostage thing like gentlemen?

Huh? Okay.

I tried.

You came to make
a deposit, Blankman?

Everybody get back
or I'll blow you away! Now!

Oh, hello, Blankman.

What brings you here?

What, are they givin'
away calendars today?

Michael "The Suit" Minelli.

You'll never get away with this,
you diabolical fiend!

You fiend?

This kid, he talks like he's out
of the funny papers or something.

What did you do
with the Mayor?

Oh, say, listen,

Blankman, I've got some
good news about the Mayor.

Uh, they had a recent
opinion poll

and the results
just came in.

He's goin' sky high!

All right, chain him up
with the Mayor, boys!

We want our money!
Everyone please stay calm!

Blankman has the situation
under control!

I repeat, Blankman
has the situation

under control!

Now, this bomb will probably
take about 10 minutes

for the bomb squad
to diffuse.

So, I think
I'm gonna set it

for

three minutes.

Now, uh,
how can I say it?

Don't go to pieces.

Sammy.

Okay, boys,
we got three minutes.

Less!

Let's go!

Come on, out through here.

Must get to Blank-belt now.

Must spray floor

with super-slick Blank-goop.

Ah, there.

Now, put together stink bomb.

And get stink bomb to them.

Hold your breath, Mayor.
This may get funky.

Oh, that's foul!

Oh, what is that smell?

I'm outta here!

See if you can
close the vault.

Tony, the vault!

He's locked the door
with the money inside!

Get out, everybody!
Let's go! Let's go!

Hurry up, morons!

Good thinking, Blankman. At least those
scumbags won't get the city's money.

One thing
they didn't count on

was my ability

to get myself

out of

tight situations.

We want our money!

Excuse me.

Hey! Wait, stop that guy!

After him! Stop him!

Hello?

I'm telling you
it's not possible.

Hello?

Kevin? Go away.
It's not safe.

Will you get him
outta here?

Oh, my God!

What happened here?

Blankman, would you go?

Does this thing mean
what I think it means?

Will you just get him out of here, please?
Both of you.

Do you know
what you're doin'?

Yeah. All I have
to do now

is separate
this wire here and...

No, I don't know what I'm doing.
Move out of the way.

Do you know what?

This white man is dead.

You can't save him.
Come on, let's go.

I gotta save him!
Please, go!

Wait, let me think.

Let me think.
Just "A" positive, "B" positive.

"A." "A."
Think positive and...

Ah!

I did it!

You did it!

Damn, man!

Shh! Shh!

I still hear ticking.

You hear what?

Why do I still hear ticking?

This bag is full
of explosives.

You did
what you could.

Go. Go!

He's got a point.
Let's just get outta here!

Wait. Wait!

Eleanor Walker
was my grandmother.

She really
believed in you.

She was a good woman.

I'll give her your love.

The clock, gentlemen.

The clock!

Come on!
Let's go!

Get back!

That is the bravest thing I've ever
seen anybody do in my entire life!

We almost
got killed with a boom.

Mayor Harris is dead.

Yeah, but you did
what you could.

No one else would
have gone in there.

Excuse me, hello?

Can I at least
get a handshake?

What about my money?
I need my money!

Hey, I ain't
been paid in weeks!

We're supposed
to get our checks!

Where's my money?
I want my money!

I need my check cashed!

I've got
hungry kids at home!

Yeah, this stinks!
Where's my money?

Blankman was
in control here.

He's a coward! He ran away!

Yeah, I...I told him
not to go in there!

He killed the Mayor!

Get him!

Blankman, you're responsible,
and you know it!

I think you better
get outta here.

I think you're right.

Blankman, you're dead meat!

Get him!

Get him!

Police Commissioner
Gains has put the blame

squarely on
Blankman's shoulders,

referring to the fleeing
ex-role model as

"A quivering, spineless,
world-class coward."

If we made any mistake,

it was trusting
this supposed hero

who runs around
in his Grandma's underwear

with a smelly sock
taped across his face.

We never believed in a million
years that he'd kill Mayor Harris

and selfishly save himself.

We're your police department,
folks of this community.

We're here to
protect and serve,

not a guy who's out
robbing laundromats

so he can have a good time.

I'm not gonna
do it anymore, J-5.

I'm sorry.

Hello, Kimberly.

Don't you make it harder
than it already is!

The procession worked its way
through the downtown area

as the city said farewell,

finally winding down
in the neighborhood

where Mayor Harris
had spent his childhood

among the people
he referred to as family.

Darryl,

you gotta
get over this.

You've been sitting here watching
this stuff for three days.

That wasn't
your fault.

All I wanted
to do was help.

You don't have
to be a hero, Darryl.

Why don't you try
being like everyone else?

How am I gonna do that?

You can start
by gettin' a job.

Hello. Welcome to McDonald's.

May I take your order, please?

Yeah, I just
need a burger, man.

Would you like
some fries with that?

No, I'm all right.

Sure? They're cooked to a crispy,
golden perfection.

Yeah, man,
I'm sure, all right?

Perhaps a soda?

You know
we're doing salads now.

People don't expect that from McDonald's.
Chunky chicken salad.

Look, man, could you just give
me my damn burger, all right?

Would you like that
for here or to go?

Goofy asshole.

He's just a little
McMad right now.

* When we are strong
it doesn't matter

* If we have no time
we can make it

Hey! That's my purse!
Give me my purse! It's mine!

Stop 'em! Stop 'em!

Weak, goofy bastard!

* To the future

* To the future

So this is
Hard Edition, huh?

Michael Minelli.

Larry Stone.
Pleased to meet ya.

How'd you
track me down, Stone?

This is tabloid television.
We can do anything.

What is it
you want from me?

Rumor has it you're, uh,
looking for the Blankman.

Everyone knows
the Blankman has disappeared.

Nobody's seen him,
not for weeks.

I can give you the Blankman.

What's in it for you?

Ratings, Mr. Minelli.

Ratings give me a woody.

But, to get ratings,
you gotta have a star.

David Koresh, 52 days
in the number one spot.

Wanted to run a summer camp.

I said, David,
why be a counselor

when you can
be the messiah?

Now you, you, I can't
make the messiah.

But you give me an exclusive interview,
I give you the Blankman.

I don't make deals.

And I don't
do television.

Where is the Blankman?

Hey, Einstein,
I don't know if you noticed,

but, uh, this ain't
a boil on my ass.

It's a wheelchair.

I'm paralyzed
from the waist down.

I can't
feel a damn thing.

I felt that.

You through?

I like this guy!

He ain't got no legs,
but he's got balls!

Come on,
take a walk with me.

Have a seat.

All right.

Now,

I happen to know
that Blankman

has the hots
for a certain reporter.

A lady by the name
of Kimberly Jonz.

I had a grandma.
She meant a lot to me.

But somebody killed her.

Minelli one time whacked out an old
lady for givin' him a dirty look.

...not yet released
the names of the victims,

but it is rumored
that among the fatalities

is 68-year-old Eleanor Walker,

a local resident who runs this
chapter of the Harris campaign.

This is Kimberly.

Uh, I think I figured out
who killed your grandmother.

Hello, Blankman?

No, this is not Kimberly.
This is Minelli.

If you ever want to see this
pretty little Kimberly again,

you better come down to
the TV station right now.

Yes.

Oh, and, uh, Blankman,

don't forget to
wear your tights.

No.
No? Have a nice day.

Thank you. Come again.
Hi, welcome to McDonald's.

Darryl, Minelli just
took over the newsroom!

I'm sorry, sir. You're gonna have to
stand in line like everyone else.

You don't understand!
Minelli just took Kimberly hostage.

My God, he's got Kimberly?

He says he's gonna kill her
unless Blankman shows up.

The police ain't doin' jack!
Man, you gotta save her.

I don't wanna get involved.
I don't do that stuff anymore.

I'm normal now.

I'm Darryl Walker,
Crew Chief.

Ronald McDonald's
coming next week.

I'm supposed to
whip this place into shape.

I'm not talkin' to Darryl,
I'm talkin' to Blankman.

This is serious.

Hi, welcome to McDonald's.

May I take
your order, please?

Would you like
fries with that?

Stop it!

Minelli killed Grandma.

He killed Grandma?

Then I gotta take him down.

This time I'm with you.

You gonna wear your costume?

Man, I'm not
wearin' that...

I need three more burgers,
please.

Darryl, I will wear
the costume! Let's just go!

We gonna take him down
together, me and you?

Yes, let's go.
Like a team.

Darryl, come on. I'll be right back.
I gotta punch out.

Curses. I can't get
the hang of that thing.

Hello, Kimberly.

No time for small talk, buddy.

To the Blank-screen.

Okay,
I can pull up the plans to the news building

on the Blank-screen.

They're gonna expect us
to come in through here.

We can get the drop on 'em
by coming up in through here.

Well, why don't we just
go through the front?

Because that'll take all the fun out of it,
silly billy gumdrops!

To the Blank-suits!

Okay, that's your costume.

And I'll once again
don the Blank-suit.

* Be a super hero

* Now you must understand

* Want you all to understand

* Be a super hero

* Well, well, well

This is great!

Huh?

I said,
this is fantastic!

I can't hear you.

I said, this is great!

I can't understand...

Shut up and drive.

* Don't tell me
that I am not worthy

* After 400 years
overtime

* Give us what you
give your brothers

* Then you'll understand

* That I won't be
your super hero

* I wanna be a hero

* Until you give us
all you can *

Mr. Minelli,
you're reported to have mob connections.

Have you ever
committed a crime?

No, I've never
committed a crime in my life.

No, goddamn it, no!

You're asking him
all the easy questions!

Probe deeper!
Dig into him! Edge!

Right, edge.

Uh, Mr. Minelli,
are you gay?

Goddamn!
Now that's edge!

Hey!

I'm sick and tired
of this crap.

You told me that Blankman
was gonna be here,

and he ain't here!

Now, not only am I
gonna have to kill her,

I'm gonna have to
kill you, too!

But, because I'm a gentleman,
I'm gonna kill the lady first.

Yes, Miss Anchor Lady,
this just in.

Your time is up.

No. Do something.
He's crazy! You're crazy!

You better check your sources
on that story, Minelli.

You might have
got a bad lead.

Blankman.

I see you finally got somebody to work
with you who dresses worse than you do.

And what is your name,
Other Guy?

Well, I don't really
have one yet.

How about poorly-dressed
dead man?

Get 'em, guys!

Get in there! Get in there!
Get in there and fight for God's sake!

Get 'em!

Take 'em out!
They're gaining on us!

Get 'em, you idiots!

Back to back!

How you doin'?
Oh, man!

Take that, you fiend!

All right,
I'll handle this myself!

I got a swell idea
for you two.

Isn't this great?
We'll never get out of here alive.

Well, that's... that's
the whole plan, Blankman.

And while you're in there,
I have rigged up

a secret bomb
that is going to go off

and blow up this building
in about five minutes.

Holy double jeopardy!

You're good.

And when this bomb
goes off,

you are gonna be held
responsible, postmortem.

Hey, Minelli!

Look, you got
what you wanted.

Why don't you let
Kimberly go?

Right. And put me down, too.
You don't want me.

No, the broad stays.

And Stone, I'm really sorry

that I messed up
your show.

Not at all.

Then I'm sorry
I ruined your life.

Is this the end
of our episode?

Will the dynamic duo defy

their death-defying
drowning death trap?

Or will...

Who will dislodge Other Guy's
fist away from Blankman's eye?

Darryl, would you
quit messin' around?

This is serious!

Kevin, stop being
a pessimist!

This tank is not half full,

it's half empty!

All right, that... that's great.
You have lost your mind now.

This is life or death!

If my plan
serves me correctly,

J-5 should be gingerly
on his way!

You'll see.

He's coming!

J-5, come on.

J-5, get up!
Come on! Come on!

J-5!

Hello, Kimberly.

Do something, J-5.
Save them.

Do something.
Hurry, J-5.

Do it, J-5, do it.
Save them.

Kick the glass!

The holes have
weakened the glass.

You can do it, Kickman!

We've gotta
cut the chains.

We gotta
find the bomb.

No, there's no time.
It could be anywhere.

Save yourself.

There's no point
in us all dying.

I'll never forget you,
my lover.

That's a Blank-joke.

You're so wonderful to keep your sense
of humor during such a time of crisis.

Electronics.

Think about electronics.
Electronics.

J-5. Quick.

Vacuum power pack, on.

Dry these little wings,
so these birdies can fly.

Oh, Blankman,
you're such a poet.

Don't you know it.

Easy!

Wait a minute.
How we gonna find a bomb in this building?

We can't. But J-5 can.

I'll just switch him to anti-terrorist,
bloodhound, bomb-sniffing mode.

Okay, J-5,
smell the explosives.

Smell it, boy.
Yeah, yeah.

Find the explosives, boy.
Go ahead, find it.

Come on! Go, J-5.
Go, boy, go.

He found something.
He's onto something.

Go, J-5!
Yeah, baby.

Yes!
He's got something, right?

What is it?

The woman's bathroom.
That fiend!

The one place he knew
we couldn't go into.

Come on, J-5.

What is it, J-5?
You see something in here?

Did you find a bomb?

Yeah, but not the one
we're lookin' for.

He's onto something.
Where, boy?

In there? There's something
in there, boy?

Stand back.

It's the bomb.

J-5, convert to
bomb-disposal unit now!

I hope this works.

He's only certified to handle
but so much explosives.

Okay, Kevin,
let's save Kimberly.

J-5, to the street. Now!

Darryl, wait a minute.
Hold up.

Please.

Call me Blankman.

Okay. Blankman.

Do we have to tell Stone?

'Cause you just said the building
is not going to blow up, right?

Look, I don't care what games you play,
little buddy.

My only concern is
one Miss Kimberly Jonz.

That's all
I wanted to know.

Hang on, my love!

We can't find the bomb.
We can't find the bo...

Run!

It's gonna blow!

Play along.

It's gonna blow!
We can't find the bomb!

The whole thing's
gonna blow!

What do you mean
you can't find the bomb?

We can't find it.
We messed up!

And the building's gonna blow!
And when it does...

Boom!
Wheelchair over here, cowboy boot over there.

All right, get me out of this thing.
Come on!

Blankman says
there's no time.

He says there's only time
enough to save baby girl.

What?
You're gonna leave me?

He says
you got to be strong.

Be strong.

What? You're just
gonna leave me here?

I'll never forget you.
I'm gonna call your mama now.

Get back here,
you son of a bitch!

I'll kill you!

I'll kill you, you son of a bitch!
I'll kick your ass!

Other Guy, watch Kimberly.
Go! Go!

Come on! Get out of the way!
Get out of the way!

He's gonna explode!
Get out, everybody!

He's gonna explode!

Get out!

Good luck, buddy.
Good luck.

J-5! J-5, thank God
you're all right, buddy.

J-5! J-5, speak to me!

Don't die, J-5!

J-5, don't you dare die!

You better not die!

J-5!

No!

Minelli, you're going down.

I'm Kimberly Jonz.

I'm here live,
at the News Center.

And what happened
here tonight is very simple.

Blankman and...and
some other guy in a mask,

they were abducted

along with myself,
by Michael Minelli and his band of stooges.

Luckily, when they fled,
Blankman outsmarted them.

He got away?
I don't believe it.

Well, you'd better believe it,
you diabolical villain.

Blankman,
how'd you find me?

You're gonna have plenty of time
to figure that out, Minelli,

in the joint!

The joint? Oh, yeah?
Sammy, shoot 'em.

Come on, Sammy.
You bad. Shoot me!

No, Kevin, there's something
I didn't tell you.

What? I got to paint
a target on my ass?

Well, come on.

Oh, my God, he shot me.

That's what I was
trying to tell you!

Only my costume
is bulletproof!

Okay, Minelli,
the jig is up.

It's time for you
to pay the piper.

Get ready to rumble!

Oh! My painting!
Sammy, get him.

Get up.

Yo, Blankman!

You brought the nunchakus.
Thanks, Other Guy.

I've had all I can
take from you, Blankman.

Hi.

Did I do that?

Doesn't matter.
I'm gonna tear you apart with my bare hands.

Get up. Get up, damn it.
That's it.

Kevin!

Oh, Blankman,

it seems every time we get together,
somebody dies.

Say good-bye to Other Guy!

Oh, yeah?

Let me go!

All right, all right,
I give up. I give up!

Yeah? You should have thought about
that when you killed my grandmother.

That's right, Minelli.

We got a nice cold jail cell
all warmed up for you.

You're not going anywhere.

I'll see you
in 20 years, Minelli.

I've been shot,
but I'm all right

'cause the bullet
went through my...my...

We did it, Other Guy.

Blankman, damn!

Earlier in the day,

thousands showed up at the City
Center for a ticker tape parade

to honor its newest hero
and his unnamed friend.

Later, the Mayor addressed the hearty
crowd on the steps of City Hall,

giving Blankman
a special award.

I present you, Blankman,

the Harris award for
outstanding community service.

Thank you. Thank you.

And you, Other Guy,

this really cool
Blankman t-shirt.

Let's hear it
for these fine people!

That was the scene
just a few hours ago

here at the
Administration Building,

when a grateful city said thank you
to a man who has renewed its spirits.

The crowds may have gone,

but the memory of this
moment will last a lifetime.

Live from City Hall,
I'm Kimberly Jonz saying good night.

I don't know, Kevin.
This is not such a great idea.

What if she
doesn't like me?

What if she just laughs
right in my face?

What are you talking about? She is madly
in love with you. Why? I don't know.

No, she's in love
with Blankman.

Just tell her
you're Blankman, Darryl.

Oh, yeah, and really
break her heart.

Look,

we promised that we're supposed
to meet her after the parade.

Now, don't embarrass me.
Go on.

Kimberly.
Kevin.

This is my brother, Darryl.

Darryl.
Hi.

It's nice to finally
get to meet you.

You know, I can't get over this
feeling that I've met you before.

So,

I guess they had
a big parade today

for that, uh, super guy,
what's-his-name.

His name is Blankman.
He saved my life.

He's probably a big loser
without that flashy costume.

Oh, he's definitely
not a loser.

Hey, a purse snatcher!

Where?

That's a job for Blankman!

You know?

Well, actually, there's
only one way to be sure.

Wait.

Hold up.

What did you do to him?
Darryl, speak to me!

Don't touch me. Don't
touch me. Don't touch me.

* Super hero

Darryl, get up.

You want a cigarette?

* Yeah

* I will be your super hero

* But you must understand

* If I'm to be
your super hero

* Yeah

* You must give me
half a chance

* Listen to my band

* Let me tell you
what I mean

* Make sure you can
love me right

* Yeah

* See ya

* Make sure
this is a real Jamaican love

* For real,
watch it

* Since I met you

* I've begun
to feel so strange

* For real?

* Every time
I speak your name

* Patra

* You say that you are
so helpless, too

* That you don't know
what to do

* Sure about that?

* Could it be
I'm falling in love?

* Could it be
I'm fallin', baby?

* Touch me body right

* Rock me body long
Right through the night

* Touching me breasts
Kiss me at the best

* Anywhere we go
The east and the west

* Why not try stronger
Rock me body longer

* To the extreme,
Tell you what I mean

* Get me feel

* So what?

* Anyone can be a hero

* Hey, hey, hey

* Hey, hey

* You could be a hero
if you want to be

* Another night,
you're doing the best you can

* To save the world
you live in

* You took right when
one needs a helping hand

* You got one
to be given

* Don't wait around
for someone else

* You can make it happen
by yourself

* Gotta show your love

* Gotta take a stand

* You can change the world
if you're an average man

* You can find your strength
inside your soul

* Open your heart

* If you want
to be a hero *

* I thought you

* I'm not much for riches

* Get bent
and they go, bitch

* Give you a hand
on the underground sound *

* Yeah

* Come on

* Let's roll

* Yeah, positive's the way
that we kick it

* Tag Team's back on
the Blankman's soundtrack

* SOS,
society is in distress

* Come through, Blankman
with no "S" only just so

* Here are
the ordinary people

* Everyone is blessed with a
character In a word, dig deep

* Coulda, woulda,
shoulda do something good

* In your life
like life is good

* Wait a second, I reckon that
I'm makin' like Blankman

* Kickin' up dust
when he strikes negativities

* The evil
plaguin' all people

* Not preachin' Just readin'
my mind Here we go

* Oh, my God,
what have we come to?

* Only we can save us
from the evil men do

* Times are hard,
keep your head up, never let up

* Steamroller, yo
Tell 'em what's up

* You dig deeper

* Dig it, dig it,
dig it deep

* Dig it, dig it,
dig it, dig it, dig deep *