Original subtitles

"Diamond"?

What? You don't know Diamond Visual?

Hey! That's dangerous!

All safe.

-There. That's everything. -Thanks.

This is Diamond Visual. Remember that.

Thank you.

Mr. Muranishi, here you are.

This is a McShake. They're all the rage.

It's yogurt flavor.

Komu, did you only buy yogurt flavor?

Yes. It's the most delicious.

What if someone doesn't like yogurt flavor?

To survive in this world, you need to use your imagination to make people happy.

-Yes, sir. -Moron.

-But I want people to know how good it is! -Ms. Oba.

-Prepare today's appearance fees. -Certainly, sir.

You try one too, Ms. Oba.

-Put it there. I'll have it later. -Okay.

Komu, this is good.

Thank you.

Holy cow!

-Wow-- -Don't touch.

Mr. Muranishi, the actresses are here.

-This way, everyone. -Good morning.

-Have a seat on the sofas. -Good morning.

Everyone, please have a McShake.

I don't think we've met before, have we?

I was hired as Mr. Muranishi's assistant. I'm Komukai. Call me "Komu."

-Komu? -Excuse me.

Could someone please carry this?

Thank you. I appreciate it.

Here's 140 million yen for your salaries.

Make sure you put your seal on the receipt.

Did you all bring your seal?

-Yes, ma'am. -Yes, ma'am.

Okay, go ahead.

-All right, let's pass these out. -Here you are.

-This is Naoko's. -Naoko.

Here you are. Thank you.

-Here. This is Roma's. -Here you are. Thank you.

Everyone should have theirs now.

-All right? -Thank you.

-Mitamura. -Oh, they're waiting on the second floor.

All right.

Wow! That's amazing!

How pretty!

-Put it on. -I'm so jealous.

How beautiful you are, my new actresses.

-Good morning. -Morning.

The girls that are ready, introduce yourselves.

Yes, ma'am.

-I'm Maiko Kitamura. Nice to meet you. -Likewise.

-I'm Nagi Kazama. Nice to meet you. -Likewise.

-I'm Saki Hayakawa. Nice to meet you. -Likewise.

-I'm Mikako Akiyama. Nice to meet you. -Likewise.

-I'm Yuria Sakura. Nice to meet you. -Likewise.

It's okay. Go ahead.

I'm Miyuki Chiba.

Thank you for selecting me.

Don't forget that coyness.

I won't.

-Good morning. -Good morning.

Good morning.

You all look quite lovely.

-Ms. Kuroki. -Yes? What can I do for you?

I came here after seeing I Like It S&M Style.

-Goodness me! -It's an honor to meet you.

It's an honor to meet you as well.

I look forward to working with you.

I look forward to working with you too.

Okay. Let's change the world with sex.

To do so, wear only what's appropriate for exclusive Diamond actresses

and keep making yourselves more beautiful.

Spend all you need to do so.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

As the president of Diamond Visual, Mr. Muranishi,

what are you putting the most effort into?

Without a doubt, that would be my exclusive actresses.

This is their debut.

They were carefully selected from 10,000 applicants.

They are the luckiest women in Japan.

These goddesses of luck will…

spread their lips.

I bet you can't wait.

"Spread their lips"?

Our beautiful, radiant actresses and fresh-faced crew

are linked together by rock-hard solidarity and crotches,

so I felt this name was appropriate.

We are Diamond Visual!

We will shine like a 100-million-carat diamond.

Everyone, listen. Look at the camera.

When I say "ready,"

we'll all say "action" together.

Give your best smiles.

Ready!

-Action! -Action!

Komu, why did you decide to work for Mr. Muranishi?

When I saw his election campaign speech,

I made up my mind to work for Mr. Muranishi.

I see.

Jeez!

My goodness, Mr. Muranishi. How much did this cost you?

As a show of my sincerity, it's a bargain.

After all, we'll be working with everyone at Satellite East for a very long time.

That's good thinking. I'm sure they'll be very pleased.

Speak of the devil.

Hello?

Thank you for calling. We're on our way now.

-My apologies. -Yes?

Due to a sudden change of schedule, Mr. Umino cannot see you today.

What?

Is something wrong?

Great!

What?

Just a moment.

Mr. Umino!

-Mr. Muranishi, you don't have to… -Please have one.

-It's a fresh Kyoho grape. -No, thank you.

You two there.

Please have one. These are Kyoho grapes.

Quite juicy and delicious.

-Who are you? -Are you curious?

Please have some. Go ahead.

Mr. Umino!

-Mr. Umino! You have a call! -What?

Hello?

-They're quite juicy and delicious. -Mr. Umino, sorry to bother--

Hello, Mr. Umino. You finally answered.

Who the heck are you?

I'm Toru Muranishi, the man you had an appointment with.

Are you at Satellite East now? I don't see you anywhere.

Your employees and I are enjoying delicious Kyoho grapes together.

Pass them out, Komu.

Everyone!

Do you know what your CEO is doing right now?

He's using the money that you made while slaving away here

on his hobby of F1 race cars.

-Is that any way to treat employees? -Mr. Muranishi! Excuse me!

Excuse me, Mr. Honda speaking.

What the heck do you want?

I am terribly sorry.

Mr. Muranishi insisted on speaking with you, Mr. Umino.

Is that why he's acting so childish? Fine.

I'm golfing with your bank's president next week. I'll tell him about this.

Please don't do that! I will end his antics right away!

-Do that! -I will.

Also, thanks for the gift of fruit, which I absolutely despise.

I'm leaving. Don't push!

-Mr. Muranishi! -I'm going.

Watch out! Don't push me!

-Mr. Muranishi! -Please take this too.

If you keep up this kind of thing, you'll never get satellite rights.

I can no longer work with you.

Wait! Mr. Honda!

What's with that guy?

-That was too strong. -What?

-That drink earlier. -You said "with water."

-Oh, my! -Watch out! That hurt!

-Get out of the way yourself. -You're the one who pulled me into you.

-How about it? -I'm full.

-Okay. See you later. Thank you. -Bye.

For Christ's sake.

How long do I have to wait out here in the freezing cold?

I could die, you know.

So when are you going to pay me this month's?

When?

By the way,

this cold snap put my regular customer, Mr. Kinoshita, and his wife in the grave.

I'll pay your portion of the funeral gift from this.

Here.

Don't make such gruesome lies.

It's no lie.

Don't you catch a cold.

Are you keeping your neck warm and gargling when you get home?

Don't forget to gargle and wash your hands.

Hey! You!

-Quit shaking her down! -What's your problem?

-Toshi! -What?

-Mister, you got any smokes? -What's your problem?

-Leave me alone! Hands off! -Is this them? There they are!

I'll help myself to one.

Bye.

Hey. You stop right there.

-You hag! -Toshi!

What?

Who was that hag?

Tell me.

I pay her money every month.

-What for? -She's mired in debt.

Why are you doing that?

That lowlife gave birth to me.

What?

Hey!

Do you want to come up?

Yuria. Here you go.

Oh, that's nice! Very good!

Nice!

How about this one?

-How about this? -Excuse me a sec.

-Wouldn't this look good on me? -Let's see…

Yes, purple does look good on you. As expected, Roma.

-I wonder which is best. -It's hard to choose.

I can't believe an adult video actress is doing an ad with a major company.

It's hard to get used to.

It sure is.

Rugby! Take stills of Kuroki in this.

-Okay. -Hey!

There you go eating again.

They're just so good.

Was it wrong to eat them?

Not at all. Go ahead and eat. You're slim, but you sure eat a lot.

I'm often told that.

Appetite and sexual desire are closely linked.

I think it's wonderful.

I'm not sure what to say.

You sure look good in white, Miyuki.

-I do? -Yes.

But…

I like this color too.

You look marvelous in what you're wearing now.

White symbolizes innocence, which is you to the core, Miyuki.

I heard Miyuki worked in a department store fashion department.

She's got great taste.

-Really? -Oh, not at all.

Why don't I have her select something for me too?

I've got an advertising shoot coming up.

I would love to!

Let's see…

To go with this…

How about this?

That's perfect for the elegant and refined Kuroki.

Nice choice.

Thank you.

You really do have wonderful taste.

Why did you quit your job?

When I saw your adult video, Ms. Kuroki…

That release of a woman's sexuality you talk about…

I admired that and wanted to try it myself.

Why don't you learn the job from Kuroki?

Teach her what an adult video actress is before she debuts.

My! Would that be all right?

Yes.

I would be delighted to.

-Thank you! I'm so happy! -Not at all.

I'll help you sometimes too. I look forward to it.

-I look forward to it as well. -Yes.

By the way,

doesn't Mr. Muranishi direct anymore?

Right now, I'm focused only on satellite rights.

Carry on.

Before splicing these, let's see the original again.

Oh, sure.

That should be all right.

Good evening.

Oh, Ms. Kuroki.

Here's some coffee for you. Enjoy.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Make sure you take a break when you can.

Sure.

That's good.

Sorry.

Rewind to before the whistle.

Okay.

-Good. Stop it there. -Okay.

Mr. Mitamura, you certainly have matured a lot.

Not at all. I've got a long way to go.

Someday, I want to make a video like you and Mr. Muranishi did.

Mr. Mitamura, you should make the kind of video you like.

I'll do my best.

Say…

Ms. Kuroki, aren't you going to be in any more adult videos?

Don't be silly. I'll still make many more videos.

I'm glad to hear it. I look forward to them.

Good.

Mr. Muranishi.

Oh, hi.

I see Mr. Mitamura is really working very hard.

I'm counting on him.

Our future revenue depends on those guys.

They're all really starting to soar.

I need to keep up.

You're soaring higher than any of them.

I expect a lot of you as our poster girl.

Kuroki.

Good night.

Good night.

-Evening. -Evening.

-How's it going? -Evening.

-Here. -Thanks.

-I'll take over. -Okay.

Why do you have these?

My predecessor's hobby.

He liked animals.

Say, did you know?

Piranhas are really incredibly cowardly.

I heard they'll never attack anything that's bigger than themselves.

Ordinarily, that is.

But when they're in a group, they go wild when they see blood

and fly into a feeding frenzy.

In some cases, they'll even destroy their ecosystem.

What are you implying?

Well, you see,

the other day, one of my detectives was killed in Kabukicho.

Really?

His head was lopped off with a Chinese sword.

The murderer is in the Taiwan mafia.

They do some pretty crazy shit.

You should be careful too, Mr. Takei.

Don't be stupid.

I'm worried about you guys.

Give me a light.

You, give me a light.

Arai!

Toshi Arai!

Long time no see. Come here.

Hey.

I've got news for you. Come here.

Hey! Damn you!

Kawada fired Muranishi.

Really?

Actually, it was probably Kawada who got fired.

I wonder.

Anyway, some fierce fish have swum in from Taiwan.

If they get worked up…

you'll all go extinct.

You know, things were so much more peaceful

when you made ura-bon and I chased after you.

I miss those days.

We got to see lots of naked women then too.

-Good morning, Mr. Muranishi. -Good morning.

-Go ahead and take this over there, Sawa. -Okay.

-I'm going to film. -Okay.

Good morning.

-Morning. -Mr. Muranishi, good morning.

Here you are, sir.

-This is a Komu-let, not an omelet. -Coffee.

Yes, sir.

Seems like satellite rights won't be so easy to get.

-Komu. -Yes?

Anyone who can't take off their pants doesn't think their life is their own.

But not me. I take them off when I need to.

It's my life, after all.

Mr. Muranishi, you are so totally cool.

I wonder if we could get someone to sell us their station rights for cheap.

Now that the Gulf Conflict has become a land war, the US is…

Number two, Nonaka, rounds the turn…

What about automobiles?

Over here is…

…become one with the eye of the universe

and allow the power of the cosmos to inhabit my body.

What a load of crap. Is this a joke?

I have received it.

-Papol, what is it? -Ms. Oba!

How much cash do we have on hand right now?

There is war in his land now,

but do not be anxious.

The future is always in space.

It will rain down upon our heads.

Mr. Muranishi?

We're ready.

-Inserting film. -Okay.

It's ready.

Let's take a break.

Take five!

Please have Ms. Kuroki go to her dressing room.

Ms. Kuroki, please go to your dressing room.

This way, please.

It says that religion was established 40 years ago.

Who falls for that stuff?

Controlling people is how they work.

It just means they've helped a lot of people.

That's just unbelievable.

People should just smile more.

You're right.

Would it be better if I showed more of this?

Why don't we change outfits?

Why do I need to wear something else?

I want to capture the true Ms. Kuroki.

This is very sexy. I think it would look good on Ms. Kuroki.

-How about this? -Oh, okay.

This? Certainly.

Excuse me.

You'll look more elegant.

-I'll have a look again, Shingo. -Okay.

-Holy cow! That's insane. -Let's go.

This is sacred spring water of Papol.

I greatly appreciate you taking the time to meet with us.

I am Toru Muranishi of Diamond Visual.

Thank you.

"Mr. Shiraiwa."

Thank you.

Such a nice building you have for such a great religion.

It's the same as how a great man has a nice erection.

Surely, Mr. Papol over there has a nice erection as well.

I'll get right to the point.

Would you allow me to purchase this facility of yours?

Our company produces adult videos.

Our company made I Like It S&M Style,

the record-setting massive hit starring Kaoru Kuroki.

Naturally, you know who Kaoru Kuroki is.

Mr. Shiraiwa.

Adult videos are an essential part of our lives.

They're an adult pastime.

However, they cannot be shown on television.

That is why we would like satellite rights.

It is our belief that sex can bring prosperity to humanity.

Naturally, religion helps humanity prosper,

and so does sex.

Just look at the numbers and you'll understand.

The adult video market is worth 50 billion yen.

Really?

Porn is that profitable?

Of course!

Let me be frank.

Sex is more addictive than drugs or religion.

-The economy is doing well right now. -Precisely.

In our business,

the better the economy is, the fewer converts we get.

When people believe the world is going to end, everyone flocks to us.

So you're really that profitable?

Then it just depends on the amount you can pay.

How much?

Allow me to speak to our founder.

Drink it.

Today's photo shoot was different than most of them.

You can tell he's a giant in the advertising industry.

I've never seen a camera like that.

That's a whole different world.

You were stunning, Ms. Kuroki.

I envy you.

That…

is not who I truly am.

What?

I am only my true self

when I am filming a video with Mr. Muranishi.

You're out of your mind.

Not at all.

This just shows you how much I want this right now.

Mr. Shiraiwa.

When seducing a woman, your chance is very fleeting.

Be frank with me. How much would you sell to us for?

All right, I'll come clean.

Altogether, we've sunk 1.9 billion yen in this facility,

as well as for maintenance fees and other expenses.

If we sold now, we'd incur an enormous loss.

-Is that the only reason you don't sell? -Yes.

The founder is quite insistent that we do something about it quickly.

Then I'll buy it for 1.9 billion.

Really?

This 500 million here is a down payment.

I'll pay the remaining 1.4 billion later.

This is separate.

This 100 million is a donation.

This too?

Take it.

May you obtain happiness.

-Thanks. -Dang!

Dang! Holy cow!

-Minami! -Tatchan!

Minami!

Cut! Mitamura!

-Lie down here, Mitamura. -Okay. Excuse me.

It's boring if you're always in the missionary position.

You can start fucking that way.

But when you're reaching climax,

lift her up like this and keep the rhythm going.

-Got it? -Okay.

Let's review.

You're really shocked that your childhood friend got a girlfriend.

You've loved him for years and he finally pays you some attention.

Then today, right here, let those desires loose

and become one in a gorgeous display of passion.

-Got it? -Okay!

-Got it! -Okay, let's roll!

-Yes, ma'am! Let's go! -All right!

Hurry up! Not there, Rugby! You weren't even listening.

-I'll do it. -What? You will?

-Here we go! -Okay!

-Ready! -Keep your eye on her!

Action!

-Nice! -Minami!

Minami, you've always loved Tatchan!

Tatchan! Fuck her good! Fuck her like mad!

That's the way!

Nice! I love that expression! Your dream has come true!

She's just like Mr. Muranishi.

It's hard not to copy him.

Mr. Muranishi is really influential, isn't he?

This kind of thing brings back memories, doesn't it?

Yes.

Nice! Keep it up!

Give her more, Tatchan!

Yeah, that's it! Just like that!

-I'm so happy! -Nice! Good! Nice expression!

Mr. Umino, may you obtain happiness.

Is this for real?

Did that porn director actually buy a whole earth station?

They sold him the whole facility.

What should we do?

We have no choice but to sell rights to him.

Listen.

We just made a huge leap in starting the Diamond Satellite Channel.

Let's take this chance to go on the offensive.

First, we'll publish a press release announcing our station.

Though it hasn't been finalized, in life, you've got to beat everyone to the punch.

For our first release, we'll create the greatest masterpiece of the century.

It will cause all humanity to drool.

-Yes, sir! -Yes, sir!

We'll use Diamond's choicest new actresses for this masterpiece.

We'll do it on the Yokohama Bay Bridge.

The bridge is 860 meters long.

They'll race down it doing eki-ben.

Race down it!

Go!

Naturally, we won't have permission.

-Yes, sir. -Yes, sir.

Eight limousines with an actress, an actor, and an assistant director

will arrive at the starting line. Go ahead.

They've arrived.

Then they'll block off the Bay Bridge.

Block it off.

It's blocked off. Here we go.

It's the Bay Bridge Eki-ben Race for the Guinness Record!

Ready!

Action!

-Nice! -Go!

We'll film the whole thing with two camera trucks and two helicopters.

Here goes!

-Run! Faster! Go! -Go!

Go!

The bridge copulation is complete! The men shoot their loads! Fireworks!

-Pow! Crackle! -Amazing!

Cut! Mitamura, how many minutes was that?

-That's 16 minutes and 50 seconds. -Perfect!

It takes 20 minutes for the police to arrive after they're called.

We'll film the whole thing in 20 minutes and scram!

-Yes, sir! -This is an incredibly exciting mission!

We'll have Diamond's choicest new actresses pull this off.

-Yes, sir. -Yes, sir.

I look calm right now, but I'm actually very excited.

Thank you, sir.

I'm going to the restroom. Get things rolling, Mitamura.

All right, everyone, let's start prepping.

Each gets started on their own part.

If you've got any questions, come to either me or Rugby.

-Yes, sir. -Good. Break!

Mr. Muranishi, Ms. Oba.

We'll order the limousines and helicopters,

but the cost for actresses and equipment

is equal to the budget for 20 videos.

What?

I'll figure it out.

I'll make up the shortfall from other expenses.

-Right. -Can I see that?

-I think I can make this work. -Good evening.

Mr. Muranishi.

You have a TV show today?

What's wrong?

I heard about your plan.

Can I be part of this first video?

Kuroki, you're a celebrity.

You do PR for us. You don't need to do videos.

Didn't you promise to broaden the appeal of adult videos together with me?

Yes, of course. But now is not the time for a video.

So when will it be?

At any rate, the first video needs to have a huge impact.

We have to grab attention by making it grander than ever before.

Impact over quality.

That's why this isn't your time, Kuroki.

Please understand that.

All right.

I'll be going.

-Let's go. -Okay.

What? Hey!

Hey! What are you doing here?

Goddamn hag.

FURUYA ENTERPRISES

What?

Evening.

Is it urgent?

He had a ton of those horror and lolicon movies.

They claimed that watching that kind of thing makes humans commit murder.

That kind of nerd bashing…

That's what the pundits think.

Damn you! Who are you calling a pundit?

Who are you calling a pundit?

-You see… -Now wait.

That's just Mr. Oshima's opinion.

Proof trumps argument.

I say pussy trumps argument.

Do you enjoy adult videos?

-Don't be stupid. -Right. You do like them.

The cum-dripping joy that is adult videos, which every man here loves,

is the energy that powers our future.

Ridiculous.

Is there something wrong with me showing my naked figure?

What people think and feel when they see and experience the real me,

-that is what is most important. -I see.

To those who watch my adult videos,

I appear fresh and vibrant every time they push the play button.

In other words, I am the eternal virgin.

That is why I would like to present to the world

a whole new Kaoru Kuroki.

-What would that be? -Let me tell you.

-I will make a new video. -You'll do adult videos again?

Why, of course.

My occupation is an adult video actress, after all.

Nice. I like it.

Soon, Diamond Satellite Channel will start broadcasting.

To celebrate our start,

we will show you the ultimate side of sex.

Raining down sex from the sky

is the dream of Toru Muranishi and Kaoru Kuroki.

I see.

-What's this? What about the Bay Bridge? -The theme is freedom of expression?

I can say with conviction that this video will pierce through

restrictions on expression like an erect penis.

Then Mr. Muranishi will be directing it, right?

It is my duty to constantly be ready

as the ultimate subject for Mr. Muranishi to film.

To release your sexuality--

We're not doing the Bay Bridge.

We'll make a new video with Kaoru Kuroki.

⇒ PeradoxSRJ

Subtitle translation by: Brian Athey